#Can also say theres probably a big amount of people who avoid even trying to get support they are entitled to bc they know its an

[mrfoox]

Oliver ranting about politics for 30 mins: that was a good talk (:

Me, who have said like nothing: (: nice

[creacherkeeper]

im getting a little too in my family feels today and so INSTEAD of feeling those im just going to ramble for a second about why i fucking love paladin!aelwyn because. im. just like this i guess im coping leave me alone

cw for discussions of child abuse, maladaptive coping, drugs and alcohol, self harm, destructive tendencies, basically everything we see in canon and the implications

aelwyn is ... SO interesting to me because for as much of her interiority as we see, as much of her as we think we understand, as much as i could ramble about her character for hours, we know ALMOST NOTHING about her in actuality?? (besides ... one key thing)

(this is like 2k and probably incoherent someone please stop me)

okay. listen. almost everything we see aelwyn do in s1 is maladaptive rebellion against her parents and home life. the drinking, the drugs, the partying, perhaps some of kalvaxus (though i dont think we fully understand how much of that was forced on her as well, kalina WAS watching her when she was talking to adaine about it). you can say like, oh aelwyn is a party animal, she's impulsive, she makes risky decisions, she's bitchy and rude, and its like. okay but IS SHE ACTUALLY. because under her parents thumb she had an EXTREMELY limited amount of freedom, and usually when people are suffering from very little control over their life, they WILL act destructively over the tiny bit they can, either harming themselves or their environment or people lower than them in the pecking order, because in a way, that feels like a reclamation of autonomy. saying "you have so much power over me but can you stop me from hurting myself and destroying what you havent managed to claim yet?". its just like, kind of what human brains do and frequently has little to do with a persons actual personality or impulses, its just. desperate brains trying to control SOMETHING because autonomy is a fundamental human need and when thats taken away we get. very bad off. (this is one big reason eating disorders are SO common with abused kids.) so i think a lot of the s1 aelwyn we see is like. this is a very desperate, abused teenager "acting out" in the only way it is possibly somewhat safe for her to do so because, on a psychological level, the self destruction is weirdly the only emotional tether and its either this or just dissociate all the time (something we do see she has problems with in canon)

and yes, she did treat adaine horribly in s1. she fully did. obviously what we get in canon is what happens but a moment thats interesting to me is in episode 1 where adaine has attacked aelwyn several times, who either does nothing or just bounces it back, when she says "i never cast spells at you" and siobhan immediately retcons it and says "yes you do, all the time" (i havent gone back and watched this bit so i might be wording this wrong). obviously its an improv show and the canon is built between performers as they go, but that was interesting to me. that brennan hadnt intended for her to have fought back in that way. she definitely feeds into the emotional abuse from their parents and participates in all the toxicity there, but we know in canon that she did that because of overwhelming fear and self preservation. and that her self hatred because of it just fed back into the cycle and made her feel like she wasnt good enough to even try to break free from it. this is very common in golden child/scapegoat sibling relationships where the golden child SEES what the parents are capable of and becomes a participant in the abuse out of fear for their own standing. in any way siding with the scapegoat child not only directs abuse at themselves as well, but frequently makes things WORSE for the scapegoat because the parents will take out the challenge to their power on them even more. so, if aelwyn DID ever try to defend or help adaine when they were small, she would have VERY QUICKLY learned that made things worse for everyone. and just. sectioned that part of her brain off, as she's done with so many other things. (and i dont think im reading too much into the forest scene with the abernants to say their parents were VERY QUICK to turn abuse towards aelwyn if she stepped out of line even a little. like, you dont flinch when a hand moves unless. you know. dont need to say it just something to think about. as far as we saw in canon, she had done everything they asked of her leading up to the forest, and we DONT KNOW what happened in it but we do know brennan specifically called out how in broken spirits she was when adaine was summoned, even though they did the ritual to avoid all of the nightmare bullshit)

(the house party is literally a whole separate post but i think its fair to point out that 1) she was super under the influence when that was happening which DEFINITELY is in no way an excuse for her behavior but worth remembering when trying to analyze that 2) her losing that fight did canonically have DRASTIC consequences for her and even if she didnt know exactly how that was going to turn out, i think she knew how bad it might be. and she did not know adaine or any of the bad kids were going to be there in the first place)

all that said, it feels in some ways counterproductive to say that aelwyn is an extremely devoted and protective person (yes we're getting to the paladin shit i know i've been rambling a while) but i think that thats strangely ALL WE ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT HER. because we've established that her self-destructive and abusive behavior in s1 is almost entirely psychologically scripted for her by her parents, we dont know how much of her villain shit in s1 was LITERALLY UNDER THREAT OF DEATH because we know at least killing the oracle was and we dont know how much of the rest of it was mandated by either her parents or kalina other than that she probably was under orders not to tell adaine the truth, and we know participating in all of this caused extreme self loathing in her that she refused to show to anybody and was too terrified to act on in any way

so, like. what does that actually leave us?

here's what we do know about aelwyn:

- of all the schools of magic, she went into abjuration

- the entire bbeg plan from season 1 hinged on aelwyn's complete faith that her level 1 sister was the most prodigious diviner in the world

- right after (?) the house party, she locked her memories where only adaine could find it with a note basically saying "theres so much bad blood between us but i know only you could find this"

- she desperately wanted to protect adaine and the fact that she was too afraid to do so made her hate herself (and her knowing that adaine now knows this is the turning point in their relationship)

- despite everything, even in the nmk forest, she still loved her parents

- the SECOND she is shown genuine love and affection and care from adaine, and adaine says whatever you do, i am here with you, all her actions from there forward are just about protecting adaine from their father, very nearly at the cost of her own life

- with what she probably thought were her last words (and would have been if adaine hadnt given her the tincture), all she wanted to communicate was how to help adaine and the bad kids, and how despite everything she had always believed in her

- at five levels of exhaustion, unconscious, she used her first spell slot after nine months of torture to build a shield around adaine

NOW we get to paladin!aelwyn. because, once everything is stripped away, the abuse and the control and the maladaption and the threats and the torture, EVERYTHING we ACTUALLY can glean about aelwyn's personality and inner core is that she's protective and devoted. and of course classes arent locked by personality, but that just screams paladin to me. its her WHOLE THING. adaine even says "wizards dont have heals, we dont care about other people" and of COURSE that isnt true for either of them, but? mechanically? aelwyn chose the wizard school that DID let her protect, and DID let her help, but i dont think, at this point, going forward, thats really going to be enough for her (and we could also talk about the parallels between them, how often adaine uses her portents to help other people)

i think a lot of the different reads on aelwyn come from this fundamental disconnect between her actions and displayed personality vs who she actually is and what she actually wants. and i think there are very different interpretations of what thats going to look like for her going forward. but i think, for a girl who's most hated characteristic about herself was her self preservation at the detriment of others, her perceived selfishness, and her fear ... isn't choosing to be braver and more selfless and more protective and shedding that self-preserving instinct for the betterment of others ... and MECHANICALLY being able to act on all those things ... the logical next step? i think its going to be a LONG TIME before aelwyn can love herself, but what other way is there to try? if adaine loves her, and adaine believes she can be better, isnt being better because she trusts adaine kind of a form of self love? saying, i dont believe in myself, but i believe in the person who believes in me, and maybe, in a roundabout way, thats the same thing. she was never able to TRY to be better before, because trying to improve even a little, even when people arent watching, when a harmful force has so much power over you and your actions ... like, the mental dissonance is honestly TOO much to even try, thats WAY more terrifying than letting yourself be bad, to the point where thats psychologically impossible for a lot of people. but now she actually has space and freedom and CHOICE and she CAN embrace the instincts she always had to shove down, she CAN be the person she knows her sister needed her to be

i dont know, i think theres an inherent love letter to yourself in wanting to be better and wanting to improve, even if you justify it by saying its for someone else. and now aelwyn actually CAN improve, and thats probably going to be extremely awkward and scary and there will be set backs and backslides for sure. but. i dont know. i think she wants to make up for lost time. because she never wanted the time to be lost in the first place. and if a protector is who she always wanted to be, whats stopping her from being that now?

[unpopularly-opinionated]

I don’t play WoW but I used to play Overwatch and Diablo and this touches on just the general issues that are inside of Activision Blizzard right now regarding the major decline of World of Warcraft and how they’re losing to Final Fantasy XIV, how if the latest WoW expansion or Overwatch 2 flop as they’re projected to do then Blizzard’s most definitely going to pivot almost entirely to mobile games, and how the differences in age demographics are actually dividing the company into multiple camps.

It’s important to note two things: 1) this could be fake but also 2) the link came from Grummz, a former team lead on WoW and producer on Diablo II and Starcraft. It still could be fake despite this, but if he’s sharing it then I feel like there’s at least some measure of truth in this.

Transcription below in case this gets deleted and/or you don’t wanna click the link. Warning, it’s fairly long.

“I’m dropping this here after getting chewed out for three hours over shit the chewee did at work so fuck it. Assume larp and let me vent.”

>Shadowlands is a shitshow. Critical response, Player drop off and just about every engagement metric outside of cash shop have been catastrophic. No higher up expected this because of their “we are too big to fail, if we built it they will come” mentality. They refuse to accept their focus on the world being a begrudged mechanic to funnel players to raiding is not appealing to the player base at large because it appeals to them. They have spent the last 4 months trying to course correct but there is no solid direction and the response to 9.1 has only made things worse.

>Sylvanas is planned to replace the Arbiter despite so many people in the company and god knows how many online saying this would be a total replication of Kerrigans storyline in Starcraft 2 that killed none competitive interest in the brand entirely and you can only go “no, no they WILL like it eventually” for so many real world years before its time to change course. Thus far that has not happened.

>The elephant in the room is FFXIV. To the people in charge they are acting like this came out of nowhere and don’t even seem to understand why its drawing players away in their tens of thousands. We have all tried to highlight things it is doing that are clearly appealing to an mmo audience and not, in my opinion, focussing more on mobile game style retention traps to keep MAU users and habit forming personalities logging in. Its not that they don’t care. They just seem so pig headed and digging their heels in with their fingers in their ears thinking all the problems will go away because WoW is “too big to fail”, there will never be real competition and “they will keep coming back”. But they aren’t coming back anymore. Not in the numbers they used to.

>The people making the spending choices know this. The new model for WoW is market the hell out of a expansion pack for a huge quarter then use 6 month lock ins to pad numbers for the quarters after that. Even if corona had not happened 9.1 still would have been dropping after the initial 6 month subs expired to “keep the chain holding”.

>The mood in the company is tense but also very much “its just a rough transition period”. Activision has been pushing hard for Blizzard to release more regular product and to generate more income per user. As far as i know this is going to be a transition over the next 5 years to a much larger mobile/tablet gaming focus. By all accounts not just WoW but Overwatch was intended to be the moneymaker in the interim but once again someone had the bright idea to kill a game casual players loved on the alter of e-sports hoping for another Brood War. From what i hear the “told you so’s” were loud and a lot of people walked beyond Kaplan.

>The sentiment that was shared quietly in private but being spoken more often is simply that the leadership at Blizzard are not bad people, nor incompetent people but people who had to fill seats left when the old guard jumped ship wether they were suited for it or not. Brack is a genuinely good man out of his depth, Ion is a fantastic raid designer put in charge of designing a virtual world he has no interest or real ideas for and so on. They have been taking form the roles they excel at to be put in positions where they get to do far less of that purely because there is nobody left with the experience to do so and the trickle down is a lack of concrete direction, ambition and focus.

>2021 has seen the playerbase, media and gaming at large “turn” on WoW to a degree i don’t think the leads in their “positivity dojo” bubble considered possible. Its gone from people going “This is how Blizz needs to fix WoW!” to “WoW is no longer salvageable, time for greener pastures” and i think on some level this was never considered as a possibility so there have never been any major plans beyond the usual “try and minimise player drop off by arranging releases around competitors launching updates/products”. The official forums being filled with talk of FFXIV and worse “why do we actually pay a sub?” hasn’t helped.

>There have been some testing the waters lately from certain higher ups if we can remove the line “No King Rules Forever”. Read into that what you will.

>There are still arguments going on about the Kael’thas Voice actor shitshow. I don’t know much about it but i know its heated, wouldn’t be the first time a knee jerk reaction only seemed to generate bad press. We lost a noticeable amount of pvp engagement after the Swifty thing.

>The Preach interview was treated as a disaster and there was talk of more strongly vetting interviewers for “bad actors” and only engaging with a list of questions Blizzard provides. Some pointed out that could just be used to create some form of Fireside Chat akin to the FFXIV “Live letters” but that fell on deaf ears.

>The two sentiments right now among the team are either “we really need a win” or “theres a dedicated cabal of internet trolls out to kill WoW”. Right now we are crunching hard to get 9.2 ready to wrap up the jailors storyline so we can get an expansion out early 2022. If that doesn’t happen there are talks of major shakeups coming down from Activision that have been threatened for a few  years now. Its an all hands on deck feeling thats been around to some degree since the “Is this an out of season April Fools Joke” Blizzcon. A make or break deadline is coming closer and things like Diablo 4 were not planned before then. Blizzard needs a significant win not just in initial profit but consumer goodwill. Nobody likes working at what the public now seems to see as “the bad guy” of the mmo industry.

>This has also made new hires decline. Not significantly but the “you WANT Blizzard on your resume” line doesn’t seem to have the appeal it used to. This has lead to more hiring via friend of a friend, to some rumblings about nepotism, and people severely lacking in experience “because they get great twitter optics”.

>On the topic of Twitter we are not being told to “disengage” from it. Multiple employees like Nervig and Holisky publicly attacking paying customers because they got too heated and couldn’t keep quiet is bad press that could have been avoided. A email reminder has gone around more than once lately stating “if you are not customer relations you should not be representing the company to customers, especially if you cannot remain professional”.

>Lastly the biggest elephant in the room is “yo’ boy” Asmongold. The newer hires cannot stand him. They have used terms like “toxic masculinity” and “dogwhistles to dangerous males” while some of the oldest crowd still remaining have called him “based” or “telling it like it is” which has lead to friction to put it mildly. People are told not to talk about him and the recent FFXIV stuff only made it all worse. The idea that an outside element can have such an effect on the product genuinely upsets people. Like Zach is engaging in some malicious act of cyberwarfare. Many of us have point out the now famous quotes by Naoki Yoshida about understanding that players will drift and we need to make something worth coming back to because they want to but some people for lack of a better word see out customers -or “consumers” as they refer to them nowadays- as some kind of antagonistic relationship where the goal is not being an entertainer putting on a show for a crowd but some kind of game hunter trying to trap a large, profitable kill. I wish i could blame Activision but this is a sentiment from more of the younger crowd than the “tech boomers”. Which personal opinion is probably why so many folks like Metzen and Morheim left.

>Before you ask, yes the topic of “wokeness” has shown up in group talks. Its not all some grand sjw conspiracy, people really do want to feel welcome and represented. However the “we need everything veto’ed by people not working on it to see if its inoffensive and bland enough” rubs some of us the wrong way. Like anything in life you can take something too far and lose sight of the core ideals and with everything gone on since Blitzchung it feels like people are forming little factions to pull people in different directions to decide “What Blizzards identity is now” and how to appeal to new players. There has been some drop offs with “go woke go broke” as the only answer in the survey when unsubbing but honestly we are losing subs in unforseen numbers anyway and still making more money than ever through cash shop “heavy users” so it honestly doesn’t make an impact.

>All in all things are rough right now. Blizzard doesn’t have the love of the customers anymore, is no longer treated as an industry giant and while D4,D2R and Immortal aren’t going to kill Diablo even if they fail the sentiment for World of Warcraft and Overwatch 2 are a lot more tense and stressful. The phrase “it might be good to brush up on your mobile development portfolio if we get another underperformer” has been doing the rounds a lot. If Shadowlands continues its stark decline and Overwatch 2 is looking to underperform like its current projections suggest i think the Blizzard of a few years from now will be imitating King a lot more than trying to learn any lessons from Square Enix’s mmo division.

[calehenituseappreciation]

i hc wilbur made tommy president because he planned to go and press the button while tommy spoke and kill him along with himself

wilbur wanted end all his unfinished symphonies and as the person who raised tommy- he raised him like he raised l'manberg. he doesnt care for fundy- not since he denounced him- so he wanted to end him :)

i need a fic where tommy is the one who goes to stop wilbur and wilbur fucking stabs him before pressing the button saying "it was never meant to be" tommy loses both first and last lives to that phrase

tommys last words are it was always meant to be fucking wilbur survives the explosion and has no one to kill him and now he has to live with the consqunces tommy becomes toast- short for ghost tommy i refuse to write so many letters each time- and immeditly looks for his older brothers and he finds wilbur first :) wilbur is exiled for his crimes and also out of fear- they tried to rehabilate him! they really did but then he freaked out over seeing toast... in a bad way.... and he and toast burned georges house on toast suggest (maybe we should burn something! that always helps me calm down!) this is after wilbur is trusted enough to be not... in a prison... after phil convinced them he needs help and toast tries his best ok- (WHO LEFT WILBUR WITH TOAST!) (I THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME! I WAS ONLY LEAVING FOR FIVE MINUTES! AND RANBOO WAS THERE TOO!) and toast tries to go with but everyone is like "yeah no" and toast is like "whhhhyyy i just wanna stay with wilby!" and everytime anyone tries to tell tommy about the wrongs that have happened to him he screams and clutches his head in pain and everytime he comes back he doesnt remember the convo toast,,, is the most BABY toast calls everyone cutesy nicknames unironcially he calls eret rere toast, chriping happily: TECHIE!!!! tubbo: TOMMY STAY AWAY FROM HIM! toast, in a very lost and confused voice: why? techno, freaking out: tommy? toast: hi!!!!!!! im toast!!!!!! :D techno: lowkey ab to cry toast: NOOOOOOOO DUN CRI! toast: there there techie... i know what will help! tubbo, sighing: arson? toast: ARSON! phil comes just in time to find tommys dead body and l'manberg gone hes not around for the withers neither hes there just to see the crater and wilbur in chains with blood on his hands trying to off himself phil will forever blame himself for not making it in time :> dream: taking wilbur away in boat toast, floating behind the boat: o^o dream do you have any games on your phone .///^///. looks at exileinnit hmmm spins roulette wheel who should i hurt... i picked d all of the above they dont let toast go with him but because he is baby and you can't tell him what to do tubbo: sighs finally now that the exiles done toast can you- tubbo: looks up tubbo: GOADDAMN IT

toast is promptly kidnapped back to l'manberg the next day toast keeps going back tho and no one understands why- he literally killed him! why does he keep wanting to go back! (toasts unfinished buisness keeping him tied was helping wilbur and l'manberg- he loved wilbur even at his worst)

toast vibes around everyone but he stays with wilbur- where ever wilbur goes is where he builds his home

its shitty but its an 'ome Toast, teary eyed: Dad? Why does everyone hate Wilby? Why can't I be with him... Phil, with no idea what to do: niki bakes cakes with niki whenever hes in l'manberg he keeps accidently setting her bakery on fire but hes sMOL AND GIGGLES A LOT AND HE HAS FLOUR ON HE GODDAMN SELF toast is a part of mexican l'manberg i dont make the rules mexican dream: AYYYYYYYYY HOMIE toast, giggling: 'OMIE!!!!!

Toast is wholesome while everyone is literally willing to murder Wilbur while also trying to stop him from khs toast is just a very happy lovely child and cries whenever anyone is mean to 'his big brother wilby!' and so they all constantly glare daggers over toasts shoulder wherenever he cant see em meanwhile Phil is just dying inside because Tommy is a ghost by Wilbur's hands and Wilbur keeps trying to commit suicide and oh god what is he supposed to do- he simply avoids this struggle by avoiding them toast, waddling up to philza: papa do you have any games on your phone? all im saying is that tommy called phil papa before changing to dad or fathercraft phil,in the tired parent voice: tommy please sit down- just for five minutes- at least for 5 minutes toast: sits down and then proceeds to struggle to continue to sit but he must because dad told him to toast is just ADHD incarnate wilbur, trying to end himself: im gonna escape my consequences toast: HI!!!!! :D wilbur: FUCK ITS MY CONSEQUENCES toast,,,, is so baby Wilbur is just not allowed to have anything remotely sharp i like how theres so much angst and im just hyper focusing on ba yby dream uses toast the same way he uses ghostbur! :D toast doesnt realize of course even after wilbur tells him dream is bad but he keeps forgetting!!! Everyone: da baby Dream: how can I profit from this oh dream is manipulating wilbur btw wilbur: suffering toast: i made you a card toast trusts eret wholeheartedly and this hurts eret because she knows if toast remembered he probably wouldnt- they wanted redemption but not like this- not because of death Toast: you look cool Toast: you are friend now Eret: sobs I don't deserve this Toast: what did I do wrong Toast: how can I help friend!!!!! Eret: sobbing more toast looks at everyone says "ah! friend shaped!" if ur wondering wheres the angst toast is the angst- toast is just tommy without any bad memories and hes so different they thought he was happy before they thought he was fine tommy was hurt too but since he internalized it no one cared toast sees wilbur being sad and goes! i know what will help! n-not arson tho people dont like arson when you do it.... BUT ITS OKAY! I BROUGHT A FRIEND! shows friend, the sheep and wilbur just fucking sobs Toast is wholesome chaotic in a perfect mix- toast is tommy but without the 'asshole on purpose as a self defense mechanism" someone mentioned something about Tommy masking insecurities once Toast doesn't remember. and he's fine with that he doesn't have any insecurities toast hurts because in retrospect toast, meeting bad: WOAAAAAAH! YOU LOOK SO FUCKING COOL! bad: LANGUAGE! toast, cringing back, looking at the ground: ..sorry :( bad: ...you can swear toast: :D bad: once toast hasnt sworn since "hes saving it for special occasions" sometimes he accidently swears and immedtly gasps and looks at bad and bad just sighs and is like "its okay it was an accident" bad never would have thought itd take letting tommy swear for him to stop huh... its almost like... hes a child.... and the negetive reienforcement.... was doing more harm then good.... toast: exists in an amount of happiness no one has ever seen him in before everyone: pain how much pain was tommy in before? they thought tommy was happy- was... was he not happy? he's so unabashedly joyful and energetic looking back they can see how forced every laugh felt, every smile- He's not afraid to just talk to people, make new friends he became so much more cautious after Eret, had it really effected him that badly? He's open. He never lies about how he's feeling, never brushes anything away how much was Tommy hiding, how much pain, how much fear- It's chilling. bone chilling. There's no way to fix what's been lost. No way to apologize to who Tommy used to be, to try and make it better. None of them every bothered to see him as anything more than a nuisance, an annoying child or cannon fodder and they'll regret it for the rest of their lives everyone: having a mental crisis toast: GUYYYYSS!! I MADE ANOTHER FRIEND!!!

"Wilby?" Wilbur heard Tommys voice say in an innocent tone.

Was he hearing things? Tommy's dead. He killed him himself.

"Wilby why are you in prison?" The image of his little brother asked, "Did you commit arson without me?" it asked in a pout.

"TOMMY!" Tubbo yelled running into the cell where Wilbur was kept, going through the bars with ease, "Tommy get away from him!"

"But 'ubbo!!!! Wilby is 'ere!!!!" Tommy (?) said with a smile Wilbur hadn't seen since Tommy was a child.

"Tommy, I understand you don't remember anything right now but you need to come back over here!" Tubbo demanded and Tommy flinched

Wilbur was struck with the sudden realization that this isn't just his mind- no no it can't be- but Tubbo acknowledged him he has to- Wilbur reached his locked hands towards Tommy only for him to pass through him. What? No no it was just his imagination that makes sense.

"Oh sorry Wil! I'm kinda dead! I don't remember how i died... but i think im a ghostie!" Tommy said plainly, floating off the floor. Wilbur looked at him in confusion. Whats happening?

the first time toast sees the crater toast srceams in intense amount of pain- its so loud you can hear it all over the smp- and just dissapears for a few days before reappearing with no memories of what happened toast saying things tommy thought but never said- he calls eret "big brother" and eret fucking d i e s toast cals all the l'manbergians older siblings He's far too honest for anyone to handle tommy was always honest too but he learned from experince that honesty only lead to hurt Tommy was like an enderchest, you could never see beyond the exterior, everything inside was exclusive to him and him alone Toast is like when someone dies and all their fuckin items explode onto the ground. you just see everything and most of it was  pain and everyone feels bad because they thought he was the only one uneffected that nothing had ever put a damper on his happiness and energetic smile- at what point had that smile became fake? also for angst reasons the last memory toast has is before the elections toast has uwu boy vibes but more chaotic toast goes to dream smp from logstedshire purely for sam nook toast starts making his hotel since he sees nobody has a home (including dream LMAO) (and he wants to make a safe place since everyone keeps saying something about war) and wants to make one and asks sam for help since apparently hes good at building and sam lets him pay after he finishs the hotel and sam nook is there since day one because i dont think i could handle a world without sam nook toast: biting everyone tubbo: wHY DO YOU DO THAT?????? toast: once techie bit all the cupcakes and then said it was his cuz he bit it so im biting everyone to show their mine!!!!! tubbo: i- tubbo: i am both flattered and disgusted everyone, remembering how tommy used to bite everyone upon meeting and then everyone would get mad at him and yell at him until he stopped biting people on meeting: sadly whips and nae naes hes a BABY toast deserves the fucking world also i havent talked ab it but there is wilbur and fundy angst here fundy confronts wilbur also not that fundy is angry about not not not getting murdered by his father but also why does he consider tommy his unfinished sympohny and not him? he raised fundy too- maybe he just only ever loved tommy (based off his insecurity of how close wilbur and tommy are based off wilbur raising tommy and wilbur only being there for fundy by the time he was older and also using hybrid age go nyoom for this dream manipulates toast during wilburs exile along with wilbur and toast realizes both of them were being used by him and fucking screams lourder than he ever has before and dissapears for a week and then shows up at technos house (he got lost and he didnt know why he was at logsted shire- he doesnt remember the place) on the day of the excution and tries to help technoblade but keeps forgetting that everyone is trying to kill techno the butcher army is hesitant when "hey why are you all attacking big brother Techy-" "HE SPAWNED WITHERS IN L'MANBERG!" "he did?" toast asked tilting his head in confusion "YES! HE DID! AFTER YOU DIED! NOW WHERE IS HE TOAST! WE NEED TO CAPTURE HIM!" whenever tubbo talks ab how theyre planning on excuting techno or how there was no trial toast has flashbacks to tubbos excution but hes never able to hold on to the memories just leaving him feeling bad toast sees anything traumatic and just makes the blue screen noise toast has to reboot every time anything truamatic happens and when he does he doesnt remember what happens after

toast hurts on a "THE FUCKING IMPLICATIONS OF THIS" level just.. everyone trying to make up for not noticing tommys hurt and trying to be good to toast when its already too late... far too late glatt is also here because whenever ytoast dissapears after something trauamtic he bounces back to the land of the dead for the bit and sometimes he drags glatt out to the land of the living with him only works bc toast has unfinished buisness so he can freely go between and just stays in the land of the lving until he can finish his unfiinshed buisness ghostbur and toast wouldve been good friends if they ever met anyone yells at toast and he immeditly starts sobbing

basically when everything is calm and peaceful and everyone is happy together after dream is in prison and toast is like "oh... this is what ive always wanted"

"toast?" tubbo asked, confused toast smiled softly, "i think its time for me to go" "what?" wilbur asked his pitch unusually high due to the fear lacing his voice "i think... i think this was my unfinished buisness... this is the last thing i wanted when i was alive, the reason i stayed... i think its finally my time to go now" toast said smiling tearfully "no! you vcan't go! we just got you back!"

basically when everything is finally ok, when things finally calm down toast fades back to the void/afterlife thing

[calcifermovesthecastle]

Ooh you're lookin for requests? Ok imma hit u up. How bout reacting to reader having a wardrobe malfunction and immediately grabbing them to cover up? (Foe example, if their shirt comes off, they hug them tightly to avoid anyone else seeing but now theres a half naked reader clinging to them 😂) You can write for whoever you want! I'd love to see some CaeJose, Pol, and Mista especially 🥰

Are Caesar and Joseph together for this? Yes? No? Im doing both anyways because I want to. I originally was going to add other characters but I had an allergic reaction when I went to the gas station today and I had to take benedryl so I'm tired. 

Another PSA, theres no limit to amount of characters or how many requests you send in. I’ll write it all.

Also, I’m currently reading Jojolion so as soon as I finish that, I’ll let you guys know so you can send in requests but i s2g dont ever make me write for Joshu i fuggin hate him.

Im also assuming it’s an AFAB reader because of the situation, I’m going to use they them pronouns though but BLEASE if I am wrong PLEASE tell me and I will edit the whole thing no problem.

CAESAR:

Okay so Caesar was my favorite Jobro for the longest time until Bucciarati came in and then Bucciarati was my favorite until Gyro and literally Gyro is the greatest character ever in anything but anyways

-Your shirt snags on the back of your chair, or a pole when you’re walking. And rips off. (Or someone else rips it off) 

-You immediately grab him and press into him, trying to cover up. He notices, looks down to see your shirt in tatters, and B L U S H. His face gets so red. 

-He immediately takes his jacket off and covers you with it, making sure you’re decent. 

-”Oh, what happened, Cara?” His voice S h a k e s it’s actually cute.

-Your face is also flushed in embarrassment, so it doesn’t matter what you were in the middle of. He gets you home soooo fast, blushing the whole while, so that you can get a change of clothes. 

-At this point it doesn’t matter anymore, so you invite him back to your room and just change in front of him, telling him “Well I guess now’s a good of a time as ever to let you see, huh?” 

-Oh? 

-Really?

-You don’t even get a chance to pull the new shirt over your head as he’s pressing you against the wall, kissing you with a heat you’ve never seen from him before. 

-You had plans? Not anymore. 👀

JOSEPH: 

-Oh surprise hug? 

-Oh

-He will tease you but only because you’re embarrassed and because you are h a l f n a k e y and pressed up against him. His heart is pounding. 

-”Well if you wanted this kind of attention you should have asked!” 

-Will cover you up though pretty much immediately, securing his jacket around you, getting you home in no time at all. 

-Joseph is not respectful. He will watch you change clothes because it’s hot. 

-You tease him a little too, just to get back at him. 

-”Well if this is the show you wanted to see we should have just stayed home in the first place, Jojo.” 

-When he gets up, you shake your head at him, your eyebrows shooting up. 

-”No sir, no touching. You just sit there and watch.” 

-”Baaaabeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.” His voice is whiny at first, but keep teasing and he’ll change his tune.

-”You’re so needy, aren’t you, Jojo? This is probably a dream come true for you.” You go to slip the new shirt over your head, and he’s on top of you in a moment, leaning close, pressing You into the wall. 

-”Keep running your mouth and I’ll show you exactly what I want from you.” 

-Rip

CAEJOSE

-The moment it happens you grab whoever’s closest and shield yourself with their body, flushing with embarrassment. 

-The other one will probably threaten or beat up the perpetrator, depending on who it is that you’re not holding on to. 

-They’ll cover you up and get you home so that you can change, but god help you because they’ll tease the hell out of you. This situation caught all of you off guard.

-”You didn’t tell us how attractive you are, Cara.” Caesar eyes you, a smile playing on his lips. Joseph will run his hands up your sides while Caesar talks, kissing the back of your neck. 

-”Well if you wanted to see you should have just asked, tesoros”  you make it a p o i n t to use Caesars mother tongue, making a big show about picking out a new shirt, discarding the ripped, tattered one.

-Rip to you honestly because you're teasing 2 men who are probably twice your size. You won't win this round. 

-Caesar's eyebrow quirks up when you use the italian phrase, and Joseph will grab you and set you on the former's lap. Unfortunately for you, Caesar's arms will wrap around your waist and lock you into place while joseph leans in close, his face centimeters from yours.

-You're in for one hell of a night with them if you're down. (If you aren't, they'll let you get dressed and sit with you at home playing cards or something) 

POLNAREFF

-Will be a blushing BLUSHING mess the moment you hug him out of nowhere. 

-His sould will proceed to leave his body when he sees that your shirt has, uh, 

-"Oh, jesus christ, mon ange, Let's get you home?"

-He'll help you cover up as soon as you can, glaring Daggers at anyone who just so happens to even glance in your direction. 

-Will make it more obvious in an attempt to make it less obvious. 

-Literally shouting "Oi, oi, oi, don't look at them! Look away!" While covering your chest. Cut him some slack. He means well. 

-Once you're home, getting re-dressed, you tease him to no end. 

-"Jean-Pierre, you seemed to really enjoy yourself today." You flash a grin at him, relishing in the heat that rises on his cheeks. 

-He can't help but stare as you pull the shirt over your head and down your body, clearly finding the words he wants to say. You grin at him, fully dressed, and plop yourself in his lap. His arms find their way around you, securing you in place, and he presses a kiss to your nose, a lopsided grin on his face. 

-"If you're up to it later, maybe I'll let you see me some more." You're obviously embarrassed at what happened, and you want to crawl into a hole and hide from the public eye for at least 10 years, but he's being so cute that you can't help but joke around. 

-His arms tighten around you, and he presses a kiss to your cheek, grinning. 

-"Maybe let me see more now?" 

MISTA: 

-He knows the feeling of skin, so when you press against him, he immediately recognizes the skin on skin contact. (He wears a crop top ffs) 

-Speaking of the crop top, it's off in a heartbeat when he sees your situation. He'll walk around shirtless, he doesn't mind. At the very least, you can wear that until you two can get home so that you can change. 

-"Oh, no, Zabaione!" (Rips shirt off of his body and yanks it down over yours, keeping you covered the whole time.) "Here, wear this." 

-He does not stink despite what Trish says. You know how some people have a distinct smell? He smells like gunpowder. 

-What's more embarrassing? Having your chest accidentally exposed, or wearing your boyfriend's shirt while he walks around half naked with a gun sticking out of his pants right above his crotch. 

-Your face is pretty red, but he's honestly living for this. 

-"Oh my god, Bombolone, you look so cute in my shirt. You should wear it more often." 

-"Yeah? And what are you gonna wear?"

-"What, you think I don't have other clothes?" He snakes an arm around your waist, leaning in close, murmuring in your ear. "Do you mind seeing me exposed like this?" 

-He'll laugh good naturedly, getting you home and putting a shirt on himself, preventing you from changing yours because he continues to insist how absolutely adorable you look in his shirt. 

-Indulge him BLEASE he's so cute when he's flirty.

[jackidy]

To Be Struck

Rating: T Pairings: EnnoTana Characters: Various, focus on Karasuno and Ennoshita.  Universe: Canon Summary: “He has no idea, does he.” Yamaguchi states, having waited with the third years and Tsukishima for the captain to show up only to bare witness to him be accosted by a group of boys. They can’t tell for sure what’s being said only that Ennoshita seems to be surprised, hands up in mock surrender before a relaxed, more apologetic pose takes over, the tell-tale sign of nervousness as he scratches the back of his neck.

“Oh no, theres not a single thought of how handsome he actually is behind those big old brown eyes.” Narita states, earning a grunt of agreement from the other third years and something akin to a laugh from Tsukishima. “The boy is oblivious to how handsome he is.”

AO3

---

The shirt fits better than he thought it would, taking the quiet moments before the rest of the team would show up to simply get used to the new found feeling of confidence that he had gained over the school break but also seemed to multiply as soon as he’d donned the number 1 shirt. Would Daichi be proud of his progress? Probably, Sugawara? Definitely, smile tugging at his lips in memory of this morning’s phone call, the former Karasuno setter clearly running late for university but still making time to give Ennoshita a fairly out of breath pep talk about he’s got this.

He offers good mornings to Ukai as their coach yawns past, followed by the team who seem to be either the same level of tired or overly excited to either be back with the team after the long break or the potential new players who would be joining. More had signed up this year than ever before, the team’s success at nationals having attracted more attention than Ennoshita had, truthfully, expected, hating that this would happen during his tenure as captain and not to another.

But then, would he really want to inflict this on anyone else?

“We missed you at lunch today, not avoiding us now that you’re captain, are ya?” Kinoshita teases, Ennoshita laughing at the over dramatics as the tawny haired man launched into an over dramatic spiel, leaning against Narita as he lamented over being left behind on the benches, beckoning Yamaguchi in to join him only to be rejected by the second year. “Our boy gets promoted and now he’s too good for us mere bench warmers.”

“No, no, I had to go see Takeda senpai and sort out club stuff, more so since they’re planning a Miyagi based training camp this year.” Ennoshita laughs out more than speaks, pulling the team fleece on, pushing his locker closed only to pause as everything goes quiet. Staring at the team in mild confusion, they just stare back, a few slacked jaws and even a few rosy cheeks amongst them, turning to Kinoshita and Narita for help only to find them in a similar state.

“What?” He asks the silent room, looking with increasing confusion and anxiety between his teammates, hoping one of them would give in and explain just why everyone had gone quiet only to find nothing to cure his nervous curiosity. “Alright then, I need to talk to coach so I guess I’ll see you in the gym.” Ennoshita adds after a few more moments of silence, sighing and dismissing himself from the locker room.

He’s only somewhat confused and mostly annoyed when the talking almost immediately picks up again after he leaves, the team speaking in hushed whispers over something that would undoubtedly cause trouble for him later.

---

The constant giggling confuses him more than anything, Ennoshita frowning as another group of first years pass him in the corridor, the group breaking into hushed whispers, giggles with one or more cheeks flushed a pale pink. He’d assumed it was in response to one of the others, his fellow third years nothing short of attractive, his thoughts lingering on the teams ace a little too long before sighing and shaking his head.

Tanaka Ryuunosuke was a subject best not dwelled on, least he end up losing himself to a train of thought best not considered. The ace wasn’t interested in him beyond friendship, Tanaka’s romantic interests focused on cute dark-haired girls with striking features, the only part of that list Ennoshita could be associated with was the dark hair.

“Hi, Ennoshita.”

“Umm…hi?” He’s confused, more giggling before the group of third years is gone, Ennoshita’s frown deepening as he headed for the back of the class where everyone was waiting for him, food in various stages of being eaten. They hadn’t waited for him and he’s thankful for it, sliding into the chair between Kinoshita and Tanaka with a groan, sliding further into the seat as hands fumbled with his bag for his lunch, still frowning as he dug in without a word.

“You keep frowning like that and your face’ll stick.” Noya speaks around a mouthful of food, both Narita and Kinoshita grimacing before Narita smacks his arm with a comment to stop being gross. It works for the most part, the libero chewing and swallowing with such vigour the rest of the group is surprised he doesn’t choke. “What’s bothering you, cap?”

Ennoshita pauses, trying to find the words to accurately describe his issue before sighing. “People keep giggling when I walk past them, I have no idea why though.” He replies honestly, oblivious to the looks the others were giving him as he continued his train of thought. “At first I thought it was because I was with one of you guys but they continued even when it was just me.”

The shared look between Kinoshita, Narita and Nishinoya only adds to his ever growing confusion, head turning to the left with hope of getting an answer from Tanaka only to be met with a flushed yet mystified look. Why was he looking at him like that? What was he missing that everyone else was apparently so clearly aware of? Snapping his fingers in front of the others face, Ennoshita bites back a laugh as Tanaka jumps, nearly spilling his drink on himself.

“Wait, why did you think the giggling was down to one of us four?” Narita pipes up after a moment, Ennoshita looking over to him whilst the group focused on the captain once more. Ennoshita shrugs, faking a thoughtful look before grinning lazily, something teasing and mischievous in his tone.

“Because you’re all a bunch of clowns.”

---

The trip to Johzenji is by no means quiet but the din of Nishinoya and Hinata hyping up the nervous first years isn’t enough to break him from his thoughts of the incident a mere thirty minutes ago. A second year, from Yamaguchi’s class if memory serves, had confessed to him. Face flushed, voice stammering and a love letter clutched so tightly in her hands Ennoshita was surprised she hadn’t ripped the letter by accident.

He wasn’t going to return her feelings, he only just recognised her never mind the fact he didn’t know her name, but he didn’t even get a chance to politely reject her before Tanaka had come from seemingly nowhere, taken his wrist and dragged him away with a gruff comment of how they were going to be late. The girl had just seen the look on Tanaka’s fae, looked at the tan hand clamped around his wrist and just profusely apologised saying she’d misunderstood.

What had she misunderstood? There wasn’t anything to misunderstand! Sure, Tanaka had perhaps been a little more gruff than usual but hadn’t his last class of the day been maths? It wasn’t one of his stronger subjects, maybe it had just put the vice-captain into an irritable mood. But doubts had only began to settle in when the other had spent the majority of the ride sat next to Haruka, the team’s new libero, who had made it his life mission to cheer the Ace up.

“Gummy for your thoughts?” Yachi asks, voice a hushed whisper as she offers the bag of gummies to Ennoshita, looking around the seat as she checked to see if the rest of the team had heard her at all. He takes one, mulling over if he would tell her anyway, the team manager hastily shoving the sweets back into her bag as Kageyama stalked past to ask Coach Ukai something.

“This is the part where you tell me what’s troubling you.” Yachi teased when Ennoshita remained silent, Ennoshita laughing before shrugging. He’d grown close to Yachi since she’d joined the team, more so after Daichi announced him as the next captain and they started working together more frequently once the year began. It had earned no short amount of teasing over his ability to talk to girls easily from Kinoshita and the question of if they were dating from one of the overly curious first years.

“It’s nothing, I’m just a little confused about somethings is all.”

“Such as?”

Ennoshita clicks his tongue, elbow against the window frame and jaw resting in his palm, silently wishing the vibrations caused by bad suspension would perhaps shake the thoughts out so he could finally focus on things more important than everyone’s new reactions to him. “People keep paying attention to me and, just now, had a girl confess her feelings for me. Only to apologise when Tanaka grabbed me and dragged me off so we could go, saying she’d misunderstood.”

“I don’t get what there was to misunderstand.” Other than the fact she had feelings for me, he adds silently, a troubled look on his face, accepting another gummy when Yachi offered it to him, the younger blonde seemingly lost in her thoughts as he continued. “He just took my wrist and said we were running late.”

He doesn’t confess as to how he can still feel the ghost of that touch on his wrist, that he humoured the idea that Tanaka was so annoyed about the interaction because he was jealous and not because they were going to be late. That the concept of her misunderstanding was that they were dating any not something else that was more trivial than the idea of them dating.

“Maybe she thought you two were, you know, together.”

He chokes, wheezing and waving off the hand of Narita dangerously close to hitting him in the back, waiting for the middle blocker to sit back down and resume conversation with Kinoshita before turning his attention to Yachi. She looks concerned for the most part, a hint of underlying smugness so reminiscent of Kiyoko when she made an all too correct assumption about something that, for a brief moment, Ennoshita feels like he’s sat with her instead.

“Okay, even if she did think that, it doesn’t explain everything else.”

“No but I’m sure you’ll figure it out, captain.”

---

It takes only five seconds of knowing Terushima Yuuji for Ennoshita to realise the man is tenacious if not a little bit odd, leaning away as the fellow captain leaned in, the feeling of being observed by a predator becoming increasingly more present. Pregame handshakes weren’t supposed to last this long, remembering how even the tense ones between Daichi and Kuroo the year before had never seemed to be endless.

Should he be the one to let go first? The want for the contact to be over already battling against his will to not be seen as weak, the handshake finally coming to an end when one of the coaches, the Johzenji one, shouts for Terushima to stop antagonising him. Was it still antagonising someone if it felt like Terushima was wanting a reaction from him that wasn’t annoyance? Ennoshita didn’t know and wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to find out either.

“I look forward to see you play, Ennoshita.”

Hand finally free, Ennoshita wipes it on his shorts leg with theatrical disdain, snorting in vague amusement at the just as dramatic gasp from behind him as he walked back to his team. What game was he playing at? Why had he pronounced his name like that, too much emphasis on the shi that he’d drawled out for far too long for it to be anything short of annoying.

He hates that his mind goes immediately to how it would be less annoying coming from Tanaka.

The practise match goes better than expected, the boost of adrenaline in his veins from being on the court only seemingly nullified during breaks when Narita and Kinoshita began their lament of being Ennoshita leaving on the benches, managing to drag Yamaguchi into joining in, even if the second year could not keep a straight face throughout the entire thing. They win, by no means a crushing victory but enough to know what needs to be improved upon with the new team dynamic, thinking over ideas he could go over with the Coach when they got back to school when feels the arms slink over his shoulder, smells the marker and feels the hand over his shoulders take hold of his forearm almost too gently.

Strong body spray and an obnoxious shade of yellow. The feel of a sharpie against his skin as it scrawled ink and numbers across his skin, Ennoshita stood like a deer in the head lights at the hum in his ear, the pop of lips as the writing was finally done. “Call me whenever, it would be a shame to not know you better, Chikara.” His arm is released, Terushima leaving without any further contact, Ennoshita only breaking out of his stunned state when someone yells at the Johzenji captain.

What…what just happened?

His state of being is nothing short of catatonic, walking in his bemused stupor to where the rest of the team are waiting, staring at the number signed with a heart scrawled across his skin. Why had he said his name like that?! A low drawl, the rolled and extended a at the end of his name, the fact it had made his face flush rosy like he was a first year. He had no interest in the other captain in both terms of friendship and relationship. So why, why was he reacting like that?

Forgetting to pull down his sleeve has never had such dire consequences, helping Takeda to gather the team and attendance to make sure nobody was left behind, most having the wherewithal to stay quiet at the number scrawled on his arm. All bar Kendo, the would-be wing spiker’s eyes lightning up before practically yelling. “Yo, Captain! Whose number did you get?”

The drive home is too rowdy, Ennoshita wishing Ukai would wake up and bellow at them all to shut up as question after question is fired at him. Whose number is it? Terushima’s. Are you dating? No. Do you like him? Not really. Would you date him if he asked you? No. Does Tanaka become captain if you fall for another captain and die? No, Haruka, but thank you for the concern.

Perhaps it’s the sap in him but Ennoshita finds he doesn’t mind the questions so much anymore, when he notices Tanaka is no longer in a mood but laughing along with the fellow third years as Ennoshita wilts under the sheer number of questions thrown at him about his supposed affair with Terushima.

---

“He has no idea, does he.” Yamaguchi states, having waited with the third years and Tsukishima for the captain to show up only to bare witness to him be accosted by a group of boys. They can’t tell for sure what’s being said only that Ennoshita seems to be surprised, hands up in mock surrender before a relaxed, more apologetic pose takes over, the tell-tale sign of nervousness as he scratches the back of his neck.

“Oh no, theres not a single thought of how handsome he actually is behind those big old brown eyes.” Narita states, earning a grunt of agreement from the other third years and something akin to a laugh from Tsukishima. “The boy is oblivious to how handsome he is.”

He’d always been handsome, Tanaka thinks, it just became more obvious over the end of year break, bewildered as to how in the span of a month he had seemed to bloom in confidence and lose the stubborn bit of baby fat that clung to his cheeks and body. It’s bothersome, annoying really, how Ennoshita believed through this metamorphosis that he’s still something not worth looking twice at, Ennoshita haven’t never stated it but it was all too clear from the way he confusedly pointed out how he couldn’t understand why their fellow students seemed to linger on him.

“Also oblivious to Tanaka’s pining.” Nishinoya adds on a little too cheerfully, the libero cackling with laughter as he used Tsukishima as a shield as Tanaka attempted to grab him before running behind Ennoshita as the captain finally joined them with a humoured confused look. “Save me, captain! He’s gone feral.”

“Oh please, Noya, he’s a big puppy at worst.” Ennoshita remarks, giving the vice captain a pat on the head as he passed by, ducking past Narita to get to the gym doors before unlocking them, throwing Yamaguchi the keys so he could unlock the changing rooms with a smile. “Go get changed and help me set up the gym before the actually feral children get here.”

Tanaka is the first one back, finding Ennoshita in the middle of setting up the nets, silently thankful that the rest of the team had shown up just as he was leaving the locker room, giving him a good 5 minutes alone with Ennoshita before they were interrupted by each coach, Yachi or someone from the team announcing their arrival with utter dramatics and a slammed open door. “So, what did they want?” He asks, holding the net steady for Ennoshita as he tied it, somewhat distracted by the look of concentration on the others face. Furrowed brows and a slightly screwed mouth, he’d be ridiculous if he thought, even for a moment, that it was adorable.

“I think he was trying to confess his feelings but it came out sounding like he was asking me to marry him.” Ennoshita mused, checking how secure the knots were before moving to the other side and repeating the process there. “Rejected him, was informed he would win my heart before I graduated and his friends were very enthusiastic about this prospect.” Ennoshita seems strangely fond over this, though as to why Tanaka did not know.

“Do we have a name for your future beloved?”

“Oh, heavens no, never told me it in the time it took him to propose to me and declare he’d win me over.” Ennoshita laughed, Tanaka finding himself unable to not join in, finishing with the first net before starting work on the second one. “I named him mini Ryuu though, he reminded me of you with Kiyoko during the majority of first year.”

He flushes at that, muttering shut up under his breath and earning another laugh, wishing he had the confidence he had with Kiyoko to approach Ennoshita with the same enthusiasm. But they’re different, the same yet different. Kiyoko was an obsession, an undignified act of teenage love that he never bothered to subdue, taking some form of pleasure out of every rejection. He had the same thing with Ennoshita but he kept it close, kept it more subtle, for no other reason than the uncertainty of what would happen when he ultimately got rejected because, for the first time, he sees no weird joy in it.

“Are you planning on growing your hair out?” He ask, tying the last knot, the first few members of the team stumbling into the gym, Kageyama snapping something at Hinata and the first years as the setter is more or less shoved into the gym by the rowdy bunch. Tanaka blinks, reaching up to touch his hair, feeling fluff instead of the usual buzzcut, wondering when the last time he’d asked Saeko to cut it for him even was.

“Nah, I keep forgetting to ask Saeko to cut it for me.” Tanaka shrugs in his response, tugging at his hair gently and contemplating if he should cut it off or not, the thought of Ennoshita’s hand on it earlier halting his train of thought far too quickly for his liking. He knows it’s a crush but it was just a touch, an innocent if not somewhat patronising pat to the head, it shouldn’t have this affect on him. Shouldn’t make him wonder how it would feel if they were running through it instead.

No.

He wasn’t dwelling on the thought of calloused hands weaving through it when he’s had a stressful day, it being ruffled with amused affection whenever he was sulking over something trivial. Of fingers gripping it tight and pulling when he…

NO.

“Sorry, what was that?”

“I said you should keep it longer; it looks good on you.”

He was never cutting his hair again.

---

If Tanaka sits closer to him during the study session, neither of them mention it, Ennoshita leaning in to Tanaka’s side to read over what he’d written and smiling. “You got them all right, Ryuu.” He’s not sure when he switched to using just his first name to refer to him, believing it to be around the time the member of the baseball team more or less vowed to win his heart by years end. It seemed to make sense to do as much, he had referred to the kid as mini Ryuu as opposed to mini Tanaka after all.

“It just makes more sense when you explain it.” Tanaka mumbles, scratching the back of his head bashfully, Ennoshita letting out a hum in response before looking up and at the ace when he feels eyes on him. Oh, how had he not realised how close they were? His lips were so painfully close and if he were a stronger man he’d lean forward and kiss him but, for all the confidence he had gained between the end of his second year and the start of his third, he’s not confident enough to close that gap and find out just how unrequited his crush was.

He’s all too happy to let Tanaka take the lead as he takes the initiative, warm fingers sliding between his perpetually cold ones, eyes flicking down to their linked hands before back up to the ace, swallowing thickly. Maybe he should, maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t as unreachable as he first thought, so close to kissing him when a door slams open.

The distance feels like miles, the lingering warmth on his hand from where Tanaka was holding offering only little comfort when the ace refused to look at him. He wants to ask, wants to ask what it meant, why he’d looked at him like that, if what he was feeling and what he assumed Tanaka was feeling actually aligned and it wasn’t just a fool’s folly to long for something more than friendship.

“Hey, Ryuu! Did you-” Saeko makes her presence known with a shout and the door opening, looking between the pair and going silent. Did she know? He knew Tanaka’s shared everything. Meals, food, lesser secrets about crushes and friendship dramas. Was she aware of whatever was going on between the pair of them? The panic begins to build up in his chest as he continues to overthink the situation only to let out a choked noise as he’s grabbed by the elder Tanaka and pulled to his feet.

It’s a similar situation to Terushima, Ennoshita feeling more and more like he’s being stared down by a predator only it’s welcomed this time, Saeko gripping his chin and observing his face before she turns to look at Ryuunosuke who seems to be on edge more than Ennoshita was. “I know you said he got hot over break but damn, Chika, you’re fuckin gorgeous.”

“Umm…thank you?” He doesn’t take compliments well, he never has, laughing nervously as he’s spun, her hands gripping his shoulders, feeling like he’s being presented to Ryuunosuke as a prize that he had just won. I know you said he got hot over break. What did that mean? Was that a Ennoshita thing or a Tanaka thing? Ennoshita focusing on his teammates face, noticing the familiar look he got whenever he felt Saeko was about to embarrass him.

“You gotta snap him up before someone else does, look at those cheek bones.” He feels the nails of Saeko’s right hand brush against his skin and he shudders despite himself, face still enflamed from the shared moment before and the endless compliments. “That jaw line, those sleepy brown eyes of yours. You are still single, right?”

“I…yeah?”

He chooses to not mention the plethora of confessions he had received the past few months, looking at Ryuu in hopes of a rescue only to find him shooting a look brimming with annoyed daring, baiting Saeko into continuing her commentary. Ennoshita knows the look well, one he’s been on the receiving end of from his own little brother whenever he learnt something he shouldn’t and threatened to hold it over him for the foreseeable future.

Saeko just grins, dangerous, like she is aware of something Ennoshita should be, hands clapping his shoulders, giving them a firm squeeze before she lets go and leaves. He watches he go, a thumbs up thrown in as a goodbye before she closes the door much softer than she had when she opened it. There’s a tension in the room, Ennoshita fumbling with his fingers as the silence leaves him to focus on those words.

I know you said he got hot over break. You’re fucking gorgeous.

You said he got hot. You’re fucking gorgeous.

You’re hot. You’re fucking gorgeous.

He’s ashamed as the voice morphs from Saeko’s to Ryuunosuke’s, the constant repetition of ‘you’re fucking gorgeous’ setting his cheeks aflame and his heart beating faster than a drum. He should leave, shouldn’t he? His confidence having melted away, Ennoshita feeling once again like a first year, unable to find his voice and on the brink of panicking as he over thought every possibility now laid out before him.

“Chikara,” his voice is soft, all to calming to hear, Ennoshita looking down at the other only to be met with a face of mild confusion and concern. “I’m stuck with problem ten.” Settling back down, Ennoshita goes back to helping, hoping for any distraction from the thought of Tanaka finding him attractive and the growing disappointment that he wasn’t brave enough to take Tanaka’s hand is his own again.

---

Its never brought up again but it changes their dynamic, Tanaka meeting him at lunch time, the welcome relief from being bothered by strangers with confessions. The hilarious moment of Tanaka fighting with his miniature self until Ennoshita dragged Tanaka away by the hand, the younger boy by someone Ennoshita guessed to also be on his team. It’s never brought up again but Tanaka doesn’t shake off his hand until its time to eat, despite the teasing looks sent his way by the other third years.

They sit together on the coach to practice matches, Ennoshita almost always waking up with his head on Tanaka’s shoulder, Tanaka’s head leaning against his and hands not quite touching but it always feels a little too intimate for just friends. Its how they end up travelling to the Miyagi summer camp, waking up as they pull onto the Shiratorizawa grounds only to find their fingers linked this time, it making up for the lack of head resting against his.

It’s three days before something snaps. Ennoshita in the middle of talking rotation with coach Ukai, mentioning his own anxiety in suddenly being thrust onto the court during an important match, making a joke at both Tanaka’s and Daichi’s expense as he brings up the Wakutani South match the year before. He excuses himself as he hears the arguing behind him, sighing at the sight of Tanaka and Noya shouting at a group of younger players, Karasuno’s own first years seeming to only encourage their behaviour.

Daichi had made this seem too easy, Yamaguchi was going to despise him for leaving this team in his capable hands when the year was through, Ennoshita feeling a migraine beginning to build as he made his way over. Where was Yahaba or Shirabu? He’d pray for even Futakuchi to show up to offer at least some form of assistance in dealing with the would be fight between their teams.

He more than well aware he’s not as intimidating as Daichi, Kenma having pointed this out when the teams met for a practise match a month prior, Ennoshita having simply laughed in response and returned the favour by pointing out that Kenma didn’t quite carry the same presence that Kuroo did. Any remaining tension between them had dissipated as soon as they had spotted Tanaka and Taketora, both huddled in a corner whispering conspiratorially, matching statements of “idiots” slipping out as sighs.

He’s not as intimidating but he can still command presence, hands clamping down on the shoulders of Tanaka and Nishinoya, squeezing tightly as he smiled a little too softly at the gathering who seemed to slowly sink under the weight of it. “I believe you were all returning to your teams, yes?” His tone leaves no room for argument, at least that’s what he hopes, watching with baited breath as they disperse, waiting until they had gone before finally allowing himself to relax.

“They were-”

“You don’t need to tell me.” Ennoshita sighs, cutting off Noya, already knowing that whatever reason they had to get into the fight was, it didn’t need explaining. He trusted his team enough for that. “Just…Just try not to do it again, please.”

---

It’s late on a Tuesday when everything is finally addressed, thirteen days since the incident in Tanaka’s home and thirteen days since they’ve danced around the subject, Ennoshita looking up when he feels someone sit next to him on the bench, surprised to find Tanaka sat there but not at all finding it unwelcomed. “What brings you out here?” Ennoshita asks, dog earring the page he was on and closing his book, cheek resting against his brought up knees and his hand on offer on the chance the Ace wanted to hold it.

“Was looking for the love of my life.” Tanaka states, voice subdued and its unsettling, too used to the confident and boisterous side of him that bellowed across courts and ripped his shirt off in victory. Tanaka is loud, headstrong, a focal point made flesh, he didn’t do quiet moments often, didn’t let his voice drop so low in volume it could barely be considered a whisper. It’s strange but he loves it all the same, a small selfish part of him wishing he’d be the only one to ever here the other like this.

“Did you find them?” He doesn’t try to hide the hope on his voice, too wrapped up in the idea that he might just be what Tanaka was into, be good enough to be the object of his affections even if just for a brief time. He had gained confidence since becoming the Captain, had grown into himself and learnt to become more assertive but the other was able to reduce him back to the shy mess he had been when he was younger like Tanaka was flames and he was made of matches.

Hands find each other, cold and pale meeting warm and tan, the grip loose enough to be comfortable yet firm enough to know it couldn’t be broken that easily. He would have been happy with that, cheeks flushing pink as a hand gently pried his cheek from his knees, calloused thumb brushing over his cheek before lips meet.

It’s brief but that’s all it needs to be, first kiss pressed to the corner of his lips before the second one captures them, the grip on his hand tightening briefly as they pull apart, Ennoshita admiring the flustered look of Tanaka’s cheeks, knowing full well he was in a similar state if not worse.

In his fantasies, he’d pictured Tanaka making any confession into a big affair, loud and unabashed, proclaiming his love for all of Japan to hear like he had with Kiyoko at any given moment. He’d thoroughly embarrass Ennoshita, grinning proudly without a care in the world. He hadn’t pictured it would be quietly, sat on a bench by the school gardens at Shiratorizawa, a fond smile tugging at his lips as he realises that he wouldn’t have had it any other way.

“Yeah, I think I did.”

[tf2headcanonz]

Hi ! I read your father figure Engie headcanon and it really made my day. It was so adorable, I love father figure headcanons. And I don't know if you have a limit for how many characters we are allow to ask for one request but can I please ask for headcanons about young mercenary reader accidentally calling the mercenaries "dad" (separately) ? (If you can't do all 9 mercenaries then just Engie, Sniper and Heavy is fine)

Omg anon....im so glad i made u happy🥺 and there is no limit to the amount of characters!

Scout:

He is very confused at first, he considers himself pretty young, if not young at heart

"Wait, did you just call me dad?"

He thinks you're just kidding with him, but if you explain to him that you actually kinda see him that way, he's pretty flattered and gets real prideful about it

He will then try and act like a cool "dad" around you, but he feels almost like an older brother, rather

He'll call you "kid" all the time too

He'll also make sure nobody messes with you and asks you if you want him to beat up anyone who does

Soldier:

He is confused at first, and tells you that he's never fathered any children, so theres no way he could be your dad

"Son, I am not your father. You must be confused."

Before you get to explain, though, he's already taken on the role

"But if you want me to be your dad, I'll be the best damn dad America has seen!"

Expect him to call you "Son" a lot more, regardless of your gender

He will start to treat you like a soldier in training that day forth, making sure you know the best war and survival tactics known to man. Expect a lot of war stories, too.

Pyro

They are extremely happy about it, they think it is so adorable that you look up to them like that! They don't even question it once.

They mutter gleefully and give you a big hug and a pat on the head

They start acting even more kind towards you, giving you lots of gifts and affection like hugging you and giving you headpats

They also enjoy playing games with you a lot if you're up for it

Whenever you feel down they'll always be there to cheer you up, just expect it to be with candy or stuffed animals...or fire.

Despite their juvinile nature they do their best to make sure you feel happy and safe around them at all times

Demoman:

He doesn't notice at first, but then backpedals and asks you to confirm what you just said

"Aye, did ye just call me yer dad?"

Once you explain, he gets all emotional about it. He honestly can't believe you see him as a dad but he is seriously, really honored.

He'll call you lassie or laddie if you're okay with it

He will act pretty fatherly around you clapping you on your shoulder and such sometimes.

He'll try to cut down on his drinking a little so you can see him as a good role model, even if you say his habit doesn't effect you personally

Engineer

He doesn't question it, but he does comment on it, he finds it very nice of you to think that way about him!

"Well golly, ya really think that highly of me?"

He will act like a true dad around you, making sure you're okay, and happy. He'll also try and teach you a few things about engineering too.

He'll probably call you "Buckaroo" or something of the sorts

He likes to think he takes after his dad, who was always very patient and kind with him growing up.

He almost really does see you as his kid in some way, but he keeps this to himself.

Heavy

He is also confused at first, but not at all opposed to it, he is a very nuturing man, having taken good care of his family all those years back in Russia

"You think I am your dad?"

He will be pretty protective of you from then on, making sure you are safe. Even if you prove you are a strong person he will still protect you like you are his own

He feels like he's back at home again, its like taking care of his sisters and mother again. He really appreciates your relationship with him, and is glad he can experience that away from home too

He will call you "little bear" in his native language

He will probably treat you like you're much younger than you really are

Medic

He laughs about it at first. He is not trying to be rude, he just thinks it's pretty funny for someone to think of him as their dad

"You are kidding right? Oh, I would make a terrible father!"

Except he really doesn't! He may not be as outward about it like others, but he definately takes on the role to some degree

He will actually avoid doing any experimenting on you or any dangerous procedures. This is when he realises he cares about you in a sort of paternal manner

He is slow to show it and embrace it, and sadly will not likely call you any nicknames yet! He just finds it a bit awkward for him to do, maybe someday though

He loves to make dad jokes with you, his main way of bonding is through jokes and medical care, so expect more checkups and attention to your health as well

Sniper

Oh boy is he awkward about it. He pauses and stutters a lot when you called him "dad"

"......Now hold on, did you just-"

He won't really know how to deal with it, he is not a very emotionally available person and likely not very paternal either

He still tries though, although it likely won't be very obvious, at least at first. He'll try his best to stay kind and patient with you

Expect to have him tell you a lot of survival skills and animal facts. It's really what he knows best and has to offer.

I'd also not expect any nicknames from him, he's very reserved and awkward and would likely feel embarassed about doing it.

Spy

He is just...silent. He doesn't say anything because it honestly hits him in a really weird way.

He feels conflicted because of how absent he was with Jeremy, and believes it would be hypocritcal to act paternal to you instead of his real son, but at the same time it makes him feel nice. Because of his mistakes with Jeremy he feels awful and wishes there was a way to learn better

He tries to learn how to be a good father figure through you, and what he learns he hopes he can someday express to Jeremy

That is not to say he doesn't care about you! He really does but he won't admit it in a very outward manner, he cares a lot about your wellbeing and safety

Expect him to keep this all quiet. He's worried about judgement from other mercs about this, thinking they'd consider it hypocritical. In private he shows he cares by listening to you and giving advice that he can. He also tells you some things other people don't really get to hear either.

Don't expect a nickname from him, he also would feel very awkward about it

[otterplusharchive]

rey! do you have any recs for kdramas? i have never watched any, but i like lovable characters and romance ? thank you in advance!

I DO IN FACT HAVE DRAMA RECS HII not all of these will be kdramas, but ill start with the kdramas ive watched and enjoyed and ill include all the warnings for them that i can remember off the top of my head and a brief synopsis for u!

kdramas-

1. weight lifting fairy kim bok joo

this was probably one of the first kdramas i saw people post about in like 2015 and i watched a little bit of it in 2016 but then only just got around to finishing it last year. the basic gist of it is its about a young sports college weight lifter, kim bok joo, centering around her navigating through her life and trying to figure out who she is and what she wants in life and what she wants to be. her romantic interest in the show is a swimmer and they have a sort of rivals to friends to lovers, he is SO in love with her and its adorable. i absolutely loved the side characters in this show theyre all so fun and kim bok joos best friends and weight lifting team are especially delightful. my main warning would be that this show addresses eating disorders and theres a lot of mention of both weight gain and weight loss, theres also a plot point early on where kim bok joo has a crush on her eventual love interests older brother but it gets resolved and the older brother literally goes "i didnt realize you had a crush on me and if i knew that i wouldnt have been so friendly with you, it would be completely innapropriate for us to be in a relationship". overall its a really sweet and emotional fun show but if you have issues with weight talk id skip this one

2. tale of the nine tailed

this one is really recent from last year and i didnt expect to be so hooked by it but boy howdy did i get attached to all the characters and the wild plot. it feels hard to explain the plot but basically a nine tailed fox named lee yeon is living in modern day seoul and is working for the underworld finding paranormal spirits/creatures/other rogue foxes that are causing havoc on the world, hes resigned himself to living this life while waiting for his girlfriend who died tragically 600 years ago to come back to life because he traded his status as a mountain god in order to ensure that her soul would one day be reincarnated. a plucky investigative journalist named nam ji ah figures out that hes not human and shenanagins ensue because she looks exactly like his dead girlfriend oooooo whatll happen. the plot beyond that gets really wild and its hard to explain and is easier to just watch. if u enjoy paranormal adventures this one is good. my one big complaint and issue with this is that the immortal mountain spirit meets his original girlfriend when shes a child and she continues to visit him off and on as she grows up which is Hm I Dont Like That! but thankfully the present time romance our female lead meets him when shes about 30 if im remembering right. also warnings for general fantasy violence, references to child abuse, animal death, and abandonment issues

3. extraordinary you

HUGE unreality warning for this. if you have issues with feeling unreal or have paranoia/delusions about not being a real person id avoid this one just because of its premise

ok i know i said tale of the nine tailed was a hard plot to explain but BOY extraordinary you is even HARDER to explain. because its so wild but so good. its about a girl who realizes that she is literally a side character in a comic book, and the story becomes her trying to change the story to save her character from dying but it becomes a lot more than that. the romance in this is literally tooth achingly sweet and the show itself is very pretty, i loved the side characters in this one and the show was engaging and interesting to watch it became really layered and meta. super reccomend this one honestly. my main issues/warnings that i can remember off the top of my head were just one character being the classic controlling boyfriend stereotype, bullying someone specifically for being poor, unreality like i mentioned before, and then at the very end there was this love interest for a side character who got reincarnated from a past piece of writing that they had been in and put in the comic but she was a student and he was the school cook which is weird but thankfully they like barely interact at all and theres no real romance he just like recognizes her and its barely a thing at the end of the show but its still weird

4. mystic pop up bar

big warning for suicide, sexual harrasment (which is framed as being bad and the guy whos harrassing the girl literally gets thrown off a roof)

i havent finished this one yet and thats mainly because im not emotionally ready because this one makes me soooo emotional. if you like found family this is a good one. its about a pop up bar run by a woman whos been tasked with solving the problems of a certain amount of people in order to atone for her crimes in the past before dying, shes able to enter the dreams of people and solve their issues using the information she gets in the dreams. paranormal shenanagins ensue, she acquires a son and a husband and it kills me its so fun and quirky and fun despite handling dark themes and peoples problems. also very sweet the found family murders me

5. kingdom (netflix original)

i literally am not going to be able to watch any other zombie media because kingdom and train to busan are the best pieces of zombie media ive ever seen. warnings for gore and violence and just general horror aspects.

i absolutely love this one its so thrilling and well done, i love the acting and the way that this show looks its absolutely gorgeous. a zombie plague breaks out in joseon period korea where the emperor has died and then was brought back to life by the queen and her father in a ploy to try and keep their family in political power, the crown prince must find answers. a lot more happens and its very dramatic and good i love the characters in this one

cdramas

1. the untamed. if you follow me and you havent watched the untamed im begging you to watch the untamed. literally one of the most beautiful stories ive experienced in my life i am not joking when i say i cried multiple times over it. the main characters are canonically gay in love and have a son together please watch the untamed. handles a lot of dark themes, heres a tw guide

2. the sleuth of the ming dynasty

this is another one i havent finished but its fun so far, very gay, found family, food, and solving murder mysteries during the ming dynasty

3. hikaru no go (also known as qi hun)

havent finished this one, there is some propaganda about hong kong in the first episode but as far as i know thats the only instance of something like that in the show

this ones about the game go and so far its very sweet and fun, local boy awakens a ghost who was a master of the game of go hundreds of years ago and eventually is persuaded to learn how to play go with the aid of the ghost. im really liking this one so far its very cute and i love the characters in it. if youve watched the untamed nie huaisangs actor ji li is in this one!

4. the legend of yunqian

this ones very short and on youtube, all the episodes are about 5 minutes long and its a lesbian time travel fantasy adventure with a happy ending! funny and cute

jdramas

1. cherry magic

please please please watch cherry magic. the premise sounds very much like a weird yaoi kind of thing but trust me on this. trust me. it is so heart warming and sweet and i was so emotional about it and the growth of the main character.

adachi gains the power to read peoples minds on his 30th birthday based off a urban legend that if youre a 30 year old virgin that youll become a wizard. after gaining this power he accidentally finds out that his extremely popular and handsome coworker has a crush on him, and shenanagins ensue along with adachi having blossoming feelings in return. this show was really refreshing in a lot of ways, adachi is a main character who like.. is unsure of himself and insecure in a very kind of realistic way, he closes himself off and is afraid to reach out to people and through the course of the show we see him slowly come out of his shell and realize that hes likeable and lovable and that people want to be around him and its so nice to see. my main complaint about this show is that i dont really like the background couple, but otherwise this is a very sweet and refreshing gay romance that has a happy ending!

some others that i myself havent seen but that ive seen people talk about a lot and that i want to watch eventually:

- the legend of fei (cdrama)

- the wolf (cdrama)

- gaurdian (cdrama, not the kdrama one called goblin)

- healer (kdrama, i did watch some of this one but it was in 2016 and i never finished it so i barely remember any of it but i do remember liking it)

- nobody knows (kdrama)

- its ok to not be ok (kdrama)

sorry this is so long but i hope youll be able to find a drama u enjoy!!

[ankhisms]

ok im just going to rewrite the post i tried to make talking about alice in borderland bc tumblr decided to eat it but i finished it and. well. i have mixed feelings

tws for rape mention and antiblackness (specifically appropriating black culture)

so there were a good amount of things that i liked about this show, i do really like mysteries and thrillers and despite being a horror it wasnt too gorey which can be a problem for me bc i dont like a lot of gore in horror. the visuals in this show were very well done along with the filming having some really interesting and well shot scenes, there were a lot of moments where i found myself going oh thats a really good shot oh i love the framing in that oh the colors in that are so good. the actors all did fantastic in their roles as well.

i think that this show is much more character driven to me more than anything despite having a very complex, mysterious, and dark premise for the plot where we only barely get some answers illuminating what might be going on at the end of the 8 episodes. the characters are probably what i liked most about this show, i love arisus character because of how starkly he contrasts the antagonists in this show. the antagonists are shown to be saying stuff about how they think that the world of the game is "how the real world and humans actually are were all evil in reality and this is just showing how we all really are" (which is a mindset that i DESPISE) and arisu directly opposes that mindset. arisu is shown over and over again to be shocked and horrified that people are doing these horrible things to each other and he continues to do everything he can to save EVERYONE and not just himself, risking his life in the process and at one point even trying to get everyone else to let HIM die so that they can survive.

the friendships in this show were also what i liked especially the friendship between the first trio, and the way things played out with them leaving arisu alone was absolutely devastating. arisus friendship with usagi is then really good, i really loved that she saved him from letting himself just die laying on the ground in despair because she saw herself in him because she had also felt like that when her father died. her telling arisu that she wanted him to live really stuck with me and they make a good team and are good partners. i feel like friendship is an overall theme in this show which is always something im a sucker for and was interesting to see with the two creators of the beach during the last episode

my big issues with this are first the attempted rape scene in episode 6. usagi doesnt get raped, but she is assaulted by being held down by people and licked by one of the main antagonists who very clearly states his intent to rape her, shes able to escape and the scene is framed as a bad and horrifying event done by a character who has been shown to us to be an awful scumbag who just kills whoever he wants whenever he wants and thinks he can do whatever he pleases. hes then burned alive later and is killed which like good but despite this scene being framed as bad and horrifying, it being included at all was just really awful? like watching that out of nowhere made me feel terrible, it was such a jarring thing to happen at all and personally i feel like including scenes where a character is almost raped even if the rape doesnt actually happen is still just not good and something that i feel like could be avoided entirely.

theres also the issue of a nonblack character having dreads as her hairstyle which i shouldnt have to explain why thats a bad and antiblack

also i dont want to overstep since im tme so i wont say much on this but i felt like i should mention it, i was suprised that this show has a canon trans woman in it? she doesnt die and isnt harmed or misgendered, and in a flashback we see her mother accepting her and calling her beautiful. i dont think that her actress is trans tho i couldnt find anything confirming that when i looked her up

like i said in the beginning i have very mixed feelings about this show, the plot is interesting and theres a good build up of suspense and a sense of wanting to know whats going on. the visuals and acting are great and i do really love the main characters in this show. but the attempted rape scene especially really just 😬😬😬😬 yknow. its like idk this sure was a show that i watched. i feel like i could write more thoughts but tumblr already ate my last post and a lot of my feelings are a lot of (waves my hands around while going ehhhhh out loud)

[mollydollyjournals]

Maybe I need to just like. Scream. Loudly. For a few hours.

My concentration is still so bad I'm barely getting anywhere with this same set of nails. Still. I'm trying to keep working on it but my mind is just not doing it because I feel constantly on edge. This is day 3. One set of nails! Jesus they're not that good. I take a long time to do most things but my mind is really just not functioning.

I'm feeling really particularly isolated again. I have nothing to say that might be of interest to anyone else. I dont really even know how to respond to the small amount of interaction I do get. A friend has started being more talkative in our group chat and sent me a message asking for some info on nail art techniques - maybe I'm being self centred but I feel like it could at least partially be an effort to get me talking. If so I appreciate it. But I still dont really have anything to say beyond quick surface responses.

My mum asked if I'm going to see her this weekend. I wouldn't on Sundays because she has a zoom call with relatives I dont want to talk to. It occurred to me that saturday is tomorrow. Part of me wants to go to hers and drink red wine and just connect with someone. The one person who's almost always had my back, or at least has never seriously intentionally opposed me. I want to go see my dog and my kitten and tell her that actually I'm doing pretty bad, I'll probably be divorced by xmas and sometimes I hear things that arent particularly confusing or distressing but they're definitely not real.

But that's not how it works in our dynamic. She had a serious psychotic episode when I was a teenager, and I took care of it all. My younger brother has ongoing psychosis. It's in our family. If I say I hear things she'll only panic. My doctor knows so it's not a secret - if theres one thing I learned from both of their cases, it's not to stay in denial. But theres no point telling her. And the divorce stuff? She'll internalise it. One of her children is dead, one is an ongoing psychiatric case with not much of a future because he's also actually a pretty terrible person, and the last one is me. She feels bad enough because her "marriage failed," which is a weird phrase her generation seem to use. She told me before not to date other people in case it hurts my "marriage." She'll think it's that, and start spiralling about her history with my dad and the one guy she's dated since they divorced. She won't believe me and hb were fine having other relationships and the issues arent to do with that, and I dont have the energy to talk through her stuff again.

Maybe it's getting to me more than I think. It's not like I didnt know this shitstorm was coming. But now it advances. Like I heard the forecast before, but now I can see it on the horizon. Now I have to really truly consider moving out of the house and splitting up the cats and whatever else. Thinking about it, maybe i should talk to my mum. Itll almost definitely be her I move in with if it all goes through. But then maybe I should only talk about it if I'm sure.

I dont know. I'm jealous of everyone with good parental relationships. I still havent even texted my dad for his birthday. I guess I should do that. I kind of miss when all 4 of us go back to my dad's house for drinks, us and my half brother. But that's not going to happen for a long time yet, for all kinds of reasons. Maybe it never will again. I'm catastrophising I guess. But it's hard not to with the current track record. I just feel like there isnt any evidence of positive things. Really, truly. The best thing that's happened to me recently is I sent the rented carpet cleaner off and then saw that my cat did a big healthy shit in the middle of the carpet. I have to be happy about that because it means hes not losing his guts to diarrhea and vomiting like he was before. But I still have to deal with a hygienic nightmare and probably a stressed cat picking up on my mental state. And I still have to gauge the whole situation based on a literal pile of shit.

I feel like thinking positive is just kidding myself and giving into my genetic tendency towards psychosis. If I'm going to convince myself of something that isnt real in order to make myself feel better, why not lose myself in a fantasy entirely? I should just build an entire world where everything is okay and lock myself away in it. Why stop at just telling myself that this one bad thing or another won't happen.

I try my best to stay grounded in reality to avoid ending up in that kind of mental state. But reality is fucking tiring. I know my life isnt the worst in the world by far, I dont mean that. But we're all going through some extra shit these past couple of years. I struggle not to take that on too. Not that it even helps. We had a mass shooting here today and I'm thinking about the people who thought they were safe because they live in England where firearms are extremely rare, the parents of the child who died, the people living in that area who will feel so unsafe now, and all the pro-gun lobbyists in the US who will use this as a reasoning that gun control doesn't work thus keeping millions of other people at risk as long as those laws dont change. But god. I would be dead many times over if guns were as easy to buy here as they are over there.

And then I think about all the people that have been lost to situations like that. I'm multiracial and have family in multiple different places - I was always raised with the idea that you dont stop caring about people just because they're not in the same country as you. And it's true, you shouldnt. But I've internalised a lot of it as fear and sorrow and idk what else. Just bad feelings. Feeling like the world is such a terrible place, that I cant deal with my own suffering, and that if I can't deal with that then what about the people who have it worse? What can I do??

What can I do for anyone when I cant even paint a single set of nails?

I'm sure of all kinds of bad things happening. I dont want to be. Some of them I couldnt prove, so maybe it's just my mind. Many look likely. I dont know how to deal. I am all the worst parts of each of my parents and this is the result. I wish therapy was more of a thing last century. They should never have had kids. My older brother got off easy by dying. Incidentally I have to somehow gather money for his gravestone soon as nobody else in my family ever offered to help my parents with it in all this time and it's only just been put up now when I said I'd help my mum with it. I never even fucking met him. My life is like a bad tv show. Not an interesting one, not a well written drama or tragedy, just bad.

[iridescentides]

hi again dia! happy first day of december ❤️💚 i wanted to ask you what, in your opinion, are the 5 most underrated dcoms? i remember you saying before that you've watched all of them so i'd love to hear your opinions 😊 - 🎅🎁🎄

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH secret santa you are so good! asking me all the best questions 💜

okay so i literally had to make a list of all the dcoms i consider underrated and then narrow down a top 5. theres lots of dcoms that i love, but that i think got the right amount of attention and care (like lemonade mouth and the teen beach movies, for example), so this list just focuses on ones that deserved more hype for their quality level.

5. The Cheetah Girls: One World (2008)

okay so even as i type this i feel like a hypocrite. i have only watched this movie one time. BUT i can acknowledge that its one of the most criminally underrated dcoms ever, tons of people didnt watch it simply because raven wasnt in it. thats why i avoided it as a child, and i didnt get around to watching it until i did my big dcom binge in 2016. and it was so good. theres a really long post floating somewhere around tumblr full of specifics on why its actually the best cheetah girls movie (my favorite is the second one purely out of nostalgia), so to paraphrase some points from that post:

its a solid example of cultural appreciation, rather than appropriation, as the girls go and learn about bollywood and indian culture together

the indian characters arent treated like props or unimportant sides, they get their own agency and storylines that are important

the songs are good!!!

basically this movie was overlooked and slept on even though in terms of role modeling and social value, and just like the first two cheetah girls movies it was important and impactful.

4. Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure (2011)

okay so as someone whos very neutral and occasionally negative-leaning towards the hsm franchise (mostly bc its overhyped and not really representative of all dcoms), i was pleasantly surprised by sharpays fabulous adventure. this is another one that i know lots of people skipped right over and dont hold with as much esteem as the main hsm franchise, and that doesnt sit right with me.

i do not agree with the “uwu sharpay was the real victim in hsm” arguments bc in their efforts to look galaxy brained the people who say that overlook the fact that she was a rich white woman who used her power and status to exercise control over opportunities that should have been fairly and freely available for all; they were not “making a mockery of her theater” in the first movie, they were literally just kids who wanted to try out a new school activity that everyone was supposed to be allowed to participate in; and despite allegedly learning her lesson and singing we’re all in this together with everyone at the end of the first movie, she literally showed no growth in the second movie as she fostered an openly hostile environment and favored troy so heavily that it literally cost him his friends, all as part of yet another jealous plan to take things away from people who already have less than her. she was NOT the victim in the main franchise, and she did not seem to exhibit any growth or introspection either.

and that!!! is why sharpays fabulous adventure was so important. in focusing on sharpay as the main character, they finally had to make her likeable. they did this by showing actual real growth and putting her outside of her sphere of influence and control. we saw true vulnerability from her, instead of the basic ass “mean girl is sad bc shes actually just super insecure” trope (cough cough radio rebel), and this opened us up to finally learn about and care about her character. throughout the movie we see her learn, from her love interests example, how to care for others and be considerate. she faces actual adversity and works through it, asking herself what she truly wants and what shes capable of. and in the end, when she finally has her big moment, we’re happy for her bc she worked hard to get there. she becomes a star through her own merit and determination, rather than through money and connections. this movie is not perfect by any means, but it is severely underrated for the amount of substance it adds to sharpays character.

3. The Swap (2016)

okay i know im gonna get shit for this but thats why its on this list!!! just like sharpays fabulous adventure, its not perfect and definitely misses the mark sometimes, but it deserves more attention and love for all the things it did get right!

the swap follows two kids who accidentally switch bodies because of their emotional attachment to their dead/absent parents’ phones. and while i normally HATE the tv/movie trope of a dead parent being the only thing that builds quick sympathy for a young character, they definitely expanded well enough to where we could root for these kids even without the tragedy aspect. we see them go through their daily struggles and get a feel for their motivations as characters pretty well. as a body switching movie, we expect it to be all goofy and wacky and lighthearted, but it moves beyond that in unexpected ways.

the reason the swap is on this list is for its surprisingly thoughtful commentary on gender roles. its by no means a feminist masterpiece, and its not going to radicalize kids who watch it, but it conveys a subtle, heartfelt message that deserves more appreciation. the characters struggle with the concept of gender in a very accurate way for their age, making off-base comments and feeling trapped by the weight of expectations they cant quite put their finger on. we watch them feel both at odds with and relieved by the gender roles they are expected and allowed to perform in each others bodies, and one of the most interesting parts of the movie to me is their interactions with the other kids around them. as a result of their feeling out of place in each others environments, the kids inadvertently change each others friendships for the better by introducing new communication styles and brave authenticity. 

the value of this movie is the subtle, but genuine way it shows the characters growing through being given the space to act in conflicting ways to their expected norms. ellie realizes that relationships dont have to be complex, confusing, and painful, and that its okay to not live up to appearances and images. jack learns that emotional expression is good, healthy, and especially essential to the grieving process. one of the most powerful scenes in the movie comes at the end where, after ellie confronts jacks dad in his body, jack returns as himself to a very heartfelt apology from his father for being too hard on him; the explicit message (”boys can cry”) is paired with an open expression of love and appreciation for his kids that he didnt feel comfortable displaying until his son set an example through honest communication. this is such an empowering scene and overall an empowering movie for kids who may feel stuck in their expected roles, as it sets a positive example for having the courage to break the restrictive societal mold. for its overall message of the importance of introspection and emotional intelligence, the swap is extremely underrated.

2. Freaky Friday (2018)

this is my favorite dcom, and probably my favorite movie at this point. ive always assigned a lot of personal value to this movie (and i love every freaky friday in general), for the message of selfless familial love and understanding. i know i can get carried away talking about this topic; i got an anon ask MONTHS ago asking me about the freaky friday movies and i wrote a super super long detailed response that i never posted bc i didnt quite finish talking about the 2018 movie. and thats bc on a personal level, i cant adequately convey all the love i have for this movie. so i will try to keep this short.

first lets state the obvious: the reason people dont like this movie is bc its not the lindsay lohan version. and i get that, to an extent, bc i also love the 2003 version and its one of my ultimate comfort movies, and grew up watching it and ive seen it a billion times. i even watched it a couple days ago. but the nostalgia goggles that people have on from the early 2000s severely clouds their judgement of the wonderful 2018 remake.

yes, the 2018 version is dorky, overly simplistic plot wise, a bit stiff at times, and super cheesy like any dcom. the writing isnt 100% all the time. the narrative takes a couple confusing turns. the song biology probably shouldnt have been included. i understand this. but at the heart of it all, this movies value is love. and its edge over all the other freaky friday movies is the songs.

on a personal level, the movie speaks heavily to me. i cried very early into my first viewing of the movie bc i got to see dara renee, a dark-skinned, non-skinny actress, playing the mean popular girl on disney channel. that has never happened before. growing up, i saw the sharpays and all the other super thin white women get to be the “popular” girls on tv, and ultimately they were taken down in the end for being mean, but that doesnt change the fact that they were given power and status in the first place for being conventionally beautiful. so, watching dara renee strut around confidently and sing about being the queen bee at this high school got to me immediately. and in general, the supporting cast members of color really mean a lot to me in this movie. we get to see adam, an asian male love interest for the main character. we have a second interracial relationship in the movie with katherines marriage to mike. ellies best friend karl is hispanic. and we see these characters have depth and plot significance, we see them show love, care, and passion for the things they value. the brown faces in this movie are comforting to me personally. additionally, the loving, blended family dynamic is important to me as someone in a close-knit, affectionate step-family.

but on a more general level, this movie is underrated for its skillful musical storytelling and the way it conveys all kinds of love and appreciation. in true freaky friday fashion, we watch ellie and katherine stumble and misstep in their attempts to act like each other. its goofy and fun. but through it all, the music always captures the characters’ intimate thoughts and feelings. the opening song gives us a meaningful view into ellie and katherines relationship and the fundamental misunderstandings that play a role in straining their connection. ellie sings about how she thinks her mom wants her to be perfect, and her katherine sings about all the wonderful traits she sees in her daughter and how she wants her to be more open and self assured. this is meaningful bc even as theyre mad at each other, the love comes through. the songs continue to bring on the emotional weight of the story, as ellie sings to her little brother about her feelings of hurt and abandonment in her fathers absence. the song “go” and its accompanying hunt scene always make me cry bc of the childlike wonder and sense of adventure that it brings. for the kids, its a coming of age, introspective song. for katherine who gets to participate in ellies body, its a reminder of youth and the rich, full life her daughter has ahead of her. she is overcome with excitement, both from getting to be a teenager again for a day, and from the realization that her daughter has a support network and passions that are all her own. today and ev’ry day, the second to last song, is the culmination of the lessons learned throughout the movie, a mother and daughters tearful commitment to each other to love, protect, and understand one another. the line “if today is every day, i will hold you and protect you, i wont let this thing affect you” gets to me every time. even when things are hard and dont go according to plan, they still agree, in this moment, to be there for each other. and thats what all freaky friday stories are ultimately about.

freaky friday 2018 is a beautiful, inclusive, subversive display of familial love, sacrifice, and selflessness, and it is underrated and overlooked because of its more popular predecessor.

1. Let It Shine (2012)

this is another one of my favorite dcoms and movies in the whole world. unlike the other movies on this list, it is not the viewers themselves that contribute to the underrated-ness of this movie. disney severely under-promoted and under-hyped this movie in comparison to its other big musical franchises, and i will give you five guesses as to why, but youll only need one!

let it shine is the most beautifully, unapologetically black dcom in the whole collection. (i would put jump in! at a notable second in this category, but that one wasnt underrated). this movie was clearly crafted with care and consideration. little black kids got to see an entire dcom cast that represented them. the vernacular used in the script is still tailored mostly to white-favoring audiences, but with some relevant slang thrown in there. in short, the writers got away with the most blackness they were allowed to inject into a disney channel project.

the story centers on rap music and its underground community in atlanta, georgia. it portrays misconceptions surrounding rap, using a church setting as a catalyst for a very real debate surrounding a generational, mutlicultural conflict. this was not a “safe” movie for disney, given its emphasis on religious clashes with contemporary values. it lightly touches on issues of image policing within the black community (cyrus’s father talking about how “our boys” are running around with sagging pants and “our girls” are straying away from god), which is a very real and pressing problem for black kids who feel the pressure (from all sides) of representing their whole race with their actions. its a fun, adorable story about being yourself and staying true to your art, but also a skillful representation of struggles unique to black and brown kids and children from religious backgrounds.

on top of crafting a fun, wholesome, thoughtful narrative and likeable protagonists, let it shine brought us what is in my opinion the BEST dcom soundtrack of all time. every single song is a bop. theyre fast, fun, and lyrically engaging. “me and you” is my favorite disney channel song of all time due to its narrative significance; i will never forget my first time watching the movie and seeing that big reveal unfold onstage, as a conversation and a plot summary all wrapped into a song. the amount of thought and care that went into the music of this movie should have been rewarded with a level of attention on par with that of other musical dcoms.

if disney channel had simply cared about let it shine more, it couldve spanned franchises and sold songs the way that other musical dcoms have drawn in success. i would have loved for a sequel that explored and fleshed out cyrus’s neighborhood a little bit more, and maybe dipped into that underground scene they caught a glimpse of. i wanted a follow up on the changed church community once cyrus’s father started supporting his sons vision. i want so much more for these characters and this world than disney gave them in just one movie.

for its bold, unabashed representation of blackness and religion, subtle, nuanced presentation of race-specific issues, strong, likeable characters, and complex, thoughtful songs, let it shine is the most underrated dcom.

and because i made a full list before i started writing this post, here are some honorable mentions:

going to the mat (2004)

gotta kick it up! (2002)

tru confessions (2002)

dont look under the bed (1999)

invisible sister (2015)

[zaptap]

my non-splatoon thoughts about the direct (since i didnt have any room left in my brain for them after about 2:47 last wednesday)

i mentioned i didnt know if id play xc2 (seeing as how it took me 5 years to get through xc3d) and now that its getting smash rep maybe i will? or maybe i wont so i have more time for splatoon

i remember hearing about the famicom tantei club remakes (they were announced for japan in 2019) so it’s cool that theyre getting localized. idk anything about the games themselves though

miitopia!! im still getting through it on my 3ds..... is the new hair customization options (and likely amiibo costumes for pearl and marina??) enough to get me to buy the game again? who can say. might be worth playing again since the big thing that makes the game fun is inserting different people/characters into the game and id have a different cast the second time around which would. uh... switch it up

best part about mario items in acnh is thats one step closer to splatoon items babyyyyyyyyyyy. second best part is the functional warp pipes im excited to be able to warp

worlds end club looks interesting and also reminds me i should probably watch a playthrough of ndrv3. since it came out in 2017 i thought maybe it had a chance of coming to switch, along with other dangan ronpa games, and tbh i think thats still somewhat likely but i think id rather just watch the story than add to the amount of games im trying to play

have no idea what would be in the hwaoc dlc because im still working my way through the game. not even sure if ive unlocked all of the characters (ive been avoiding spoilers), so i cant even make guesses as to who’s getting added

botw sequel not being shown wasnt surprising because given what we know about it (we dont even know its name) there was no way it was coming out the first half of this year. it couldve been in there because that was just the focus of the direct (which is why splatoon 3 got in) but i didnt count on it

skyward sword is like my fourth favorite zelda game but i have issues with it that make me not want to play it again unless theyre ever fixed in a remake (the right-handedness, the awkward motion controls made worse by being designed for right handed players, and the silent realms stressing me out). doesnt look like theyre doing much to improve it unless theres a secret left handed mode they didnt mention. the button controls are a little better i guess, but im still annoyed the sword stuff is still on the right side (although im not sure what else they could do since you need your left thumb to move link around)

[galactichoneybee92]

Thoughts on Isaac and Representation

I don’t have a point- let me just say that now. This also stands to be perhaps my most controversial post, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take in order to get my thoughts out. This will be long and rambling. You have been warned. 

With the release of Sex Education Season 2, fans have been introduced to a character named Isaac, to mixed response. He is Maeve’s new neighbor, a barrier to her relationship with Otis and potentially a new love interest. 

It’s not unusual to introduce a new love interest into a show to prolong the drama and keep the tension will-they-won’t-they romance alive. In season one we Otis in love with Maeve, thwarted by the fact that Maeve was dating Jackson, and that Otis never really believed that Maeve could like him anyway. Resigned with this fact, Otis attempted to move on with Ola who had appeared conviniently around the time that Maeve had realized her feelings for Otis and ended her own relationship. It was all very ships in the night. 

In season two we get a sort of role reversal: This time it’s Otis in the relationship and Maeve left pining, thinking that he could never love her. It makes sense that this would be the time to introduce a new love interest for Maeve, sort of HER Ola, if you will. The difference here is that Ola is sweet and wonderful and Isaac is sketchy AF. 

I hate him, and I’ve made no secret of hating him, because personally I find him sketchy and manipulative.  There are other fans who like them though and ship the two of them. That’s fine; it’s a perfectly valid opinion, and shipping wars have been around as long as fandom. That’s nothing new. There is another issue though...

Isaac is in a wheelchair. 

While that isn’t necessarily a problem in GENERAL, it is something that effects the way his character is handeled, as well as viewer interpretation. It’s my experience that in media, certain characters are usually gifted a sort of “plot armor.” While that term is most commonly directed towards characters who play too pivotal a role in the story to be written off, I find it often also applies to characters who fit into the role of “representation.”

But wait, you might say, that doesn’t sound right. POC and queer characters get killed off all the time. It’s practically a horror movie trope, and “Kill your gays” didn’t come from nowhere. To which I would reply: Exactly. We have all seen it a million times, have raised it as an issue, and I would like to think that as a society we are attempting to move past it. That gay characters are less likely to die because of the attention brought to the “kill your gays” trope.  

It’s my understanding that these common minority tropes originally stem from their initial introduction into media. At first they didn’t have any representation at all, and then gradually they were allowed to be incorporated in media in small ways that didn’t offend anyone’s delicate sensibilities. A very famous example would be the inclusion of African Americans: At first they weren’t in movies at all. Then they were(sort of?) but they were represented by white actors in blackface. Then when black actors were allowed to play their own roles, those roles were harmful stereotypes; You wouldn’t get a black actor playing a heroic lead, but he would be the brutish savage, or the “mammy” character. They were either relegated to minor side charactes, comic relief, or the villain- roles that didn’t challange the views of society. 

There was a similar experience in regards to homosexuality in films, where once gay characters started appearing they were portrayed as sexless comic relief or villinous. The general idea behind it seemed to be that there could be homosexuality in films, but it had to be shows as wrong and corrupt, or destined to end in tragedy. After all, how could anybody in such a relationship possibly be happy? Ridiculous. 

While media  (and society) are still making strides towards diversity and inclusivity, you can’t say that media isn’t in a better place now than it was even ten or twenty years ago. I was born in the 90′s and the amount of difference I see even in the twenty-seven years I’ve been alive is actually a little astounding. I can’t even imagine the difference for people who are older than I. Even just since I graduated highschool (2010) I’ve seen such a huge difference in regards to representation across the board and while we still have a ways to go we are certainly far from where we started. 

But what does any of this have to do with Isaac? He isn’t a POC, he isn’t in any way queer. No, but he is disabled which is another sort of representation and one that doesn’t get as much publicity. As such it is admittedly one that I don’t know as much about, but If I had to guess it’s probably because theres never (to my knowledge) been a big court case about whether or not disabled people deserve rights. It’s never been a hot button issue in a political debate the way that race politics or gay rights have and so I feel like it hasn’t gotten as much attention. Still disability representation is still a topic that comes up in conversation when discussing media.

So what does that have to do with anything? Why was I talking about plot armor? I had a reason, I promise. I’ve found that due to the problematic history of representation, shows (at least the socially aware ones) have been taking strides to try to avoid falling into the same harmful patterns as their predecessors. Since there was a long history of POC characters being cast as villains, evil characters to be defeated by the white protagonists, there was a stretch of time there where you wouldn’t see a single POC villain at all. It wasn’t quite true equality, but it was an effort to combat the harmful stereotypes that the media had perpetuated for so long.

Eventually we got to a place where it was generally acknowledged that you could have a POC villain as long as they weren’t the ONLY POC in your entire movie. The same goes for people of various gender and sexual identies. You can have a gay antagonist, but it’s impportant to include other gay people who ARENT evil to show that it’s the character that is evil, indepent of his sexuality. This isn’t seen as often however, probably due to the relative novelty of the inclusion of queer characters, which is why my examples for these points are POC characters who have a comparitively longer history of inclusion. That’s not to say that the history has always been positive, just that queer inclusion is a newer development and active disability rep seems even more recent. 

I apologize if I’m phrsasing any of this poorly, but I’m hoping that you’re tracking the main points. Now. I repeat: What does ANY of this have to do with Isaac? 

Isaac is, as of now, the only disabled character in Sex Education. As such, I feel like it’s kind of expected for him to be given “plot armor”, not in regards to being killed off but in his depiction. As the show’s only example of disabled representation, as well as his introduction as a love interest for Maeve, I feel like the expectation is that he would be a protagonist. At the very least he would be a good guy.  And maybe some people think he is? I don’t know, he has his fans, but I’m not one of them. 

This is the part of my post where I stop having a point and just start listing my thoughts.

When I met Isaac I expected to like him and I wonder how much of that stemmed from the fact that he was in a wheelchair and as such I expected that the show wouldn’t possibly portray him in a negative light. Even when he was rude to Maeve in the beginning I was willing to forgive it- I don’t mind my characters being prickly and Lord knows no other character on this show is perfect. And he was handsome, and snarky, which are usually traits that I love and I really REALLY expected to love him. However as the show progressed he just gave me bad vibes. I find him manipulative and untrustworthy.

I’m not going to go into my feelings about Isaac because I’ve already made one very long post duscussing his character, but instead I’d like to discuss his role in the show and how his disability factors into that role.

As I said before, it makes sense that this season would introduce a new love interest for Maeve. It’s not a terribly uncommon formula in shows like these. Considering that Maeve is considered the “bad girl” (even though we all know she’s a cinnamon role that just deserves ALL the love) who has self esteem issues and an inaccurate view of herself, I was honestly surprised that the show gave her such a cute, healthy relationship with Jackson. Were they perfect for each other? I don’t personally think so, but there wasn’t anything inherently problematic in their relationship. Jackson is a legitimately nice guy, I wish him the best and he was a pretty good boyfriend. 

It wouldn’t be unheard of though to see her fall into a more toxic relationship, and while that’s a very strong term that even I am hesitant to use toward Isaac at this point, it does look as if the groundwork might be there for that kind of subplot. It could really go either way at this point- maybe Isaac’s actions are influenced by his own personal insecurity and he would be much nicer once they were in a relationship. Or maybe he would be scared of losing her and things would get worse. It’s not just the fact that he deleted her message in the last episode, but that he’s seemed very manipulative throughout the entire season. 

It seems to me that Isaac fits the stereotype of the abusive boyfriend- He’s handsome and charming, but also very skilled at manipulation. If you watch their relationship, it also falls into a lot of the same patterns as romantic comedies. That’s not meant as a compliment however, a lot of romantic comedy relationships are built on very questionable foundations. The leading men do a variety of unethical things, but are forgiven on behalf of being handsome and funny and those actions are forgiven and even romanticized for the sake of the love story. This also reminds me of Maeve and Isaac. How often does he push himself uninvited into her life? How often does he managed to get out of facing the consequences of his actions?

It’s a fairly common trope tbh, and the only thing that isn’t common is that he’s also physically disabled. Which honestly lead me to doubt whether or not he was being sketchy or not. Like, could I be wrong? I eventually concluded that I don’t think I was, but it leads me to consider the fact of his disability on viewer perception. 

Are viewers more likely to forgive his behavior because his wheelchair paints him in a more sympathetic light? That isn’t to say that everyone who likes him only does so because of the wheelchair - I’m sure some people just legitimately like him- but I wonder how many do? And why? Is it because you feel bad for the character? Or is it because, as our only disabled character, we are programmed to view him as a protagonist? Is his disability part of an effort to be more inclusive, or to subtly subvert our expectations regarding his character? Neither? Both?

If he is indeed going to be an antagonist then that raises further questions in regards to Isaac as disability representation. On the one hand, it’s not like being in a wheelchair automatically makes someone a good person- as with any other demographic of people there are going to be nice guys and assholes.

Is it better that they’re treating him like they would anyone else? Like, he’s just a regular guy who happens to be in a wheelchair, and the guy that he is, is prone to questionable behavior. Is it better that they’re treating him the same as they would any other able bodied character in this role? Or, as their only depiction of a disabled character, should they be portraying him in a more positive light? I personally find him to be very manipulative, and often he uses his disability as a part of his manipulation. Is that just an example of Isaac being opportunistic and using the resources available to him, or is it indicitive of a larger problem with his depiction? 

Have physically disabled people faced the same issues in media as other groups, in that their depictions were historically negative? I’m going to be honest with you here, that’s not a question I know the answer to. I haven’t seen them largely portrayed as villains, but that doesn’t mean that it hasn’t happened. 

I don’t know the answer to any of these questions, and I won’t until I see where season 3 plans on taking this, but these are the thoughts that have been circling my mind since I finished season 2. Do you agree? Disagree? Did any of this even make sense? 

[gojos-eyedrops]

Perhaps The One Thing I Actually Regret

Disclaimer: trigger warnings include: depression, eating disorders and suicide. I guess PTSD as well even though its not explicitly mentioned, it is implied.

Hello, my (nick)name is Fry, I'm 23 and I'm a year away from graduating from Vet School. This information is important, I'm not just offering my presentation card.

So, quarantine *claps* the big amount of time I've had ever since...elementary(?) And ofc I've had plenty of time to do a lot of things I've wanted to do, as well as procrastinating others *avoids looking at the pile of unread books in my room* and pretty much my favorite hobby has been catch up on manga, watch anime I've had in my queue for ages.

This is where Haikyuu comes in.

You see, I used to play volleyball in high school. I did a lot of things growing up (horse riding, basketball, kick boxing) Volleyball was the one sport I did for the longest time and the one I enjoyed the most. At the time, my life what a shit show. School hours where the worst, I hated all of my classes, I was friends with probably the two most toxic people I've ever met, my self esteem was 8 ft underground, I had an eating disorder and at some point, I was suicidal. I am ot lying when I say I can hardly remember 50% of my time in highschool. (Chronic stress, man)

However, one thing I do remember was the time I spent training volleyball. I remember each and every face from the team, I remember which faces were good at what and their positions (I always sucked at names akdjsjf except for Patricia 😭💕 my first girl crush and coming out story, but thats another topic for another day), I even remember this guy I had a crush on who wasn't on the team, but his sister was and she she drived so he'd wait for her during her training before returning home. I remember the coaches and how they all were related (grandfather, father and son!), I remember getting crazy excited when i bought my first volleyball and knee pads. I still remember the entire 40 minute warm up, step by step.

Clearly, these two hour training, three times a week was the best part of my week during highschool. So much I actually had a generous lunch before training despite my eating disorder bugging me. I liked to train and actually hated it when my blood sugar got low and had to take a break from training.

Because of reasons, I couldn't keep going training and playing with that team (which was outside of school) so I decided to join the shoool team. The coach was this crazy strict woman, I never felt so fit in my life, her training was HELL and I loved it. However, in my last year of highschool, they switched coaches, and this new coach was an asshole.

I was a setter, and was the tallest girl in the team and also left handed. However, I was a terrible, awful, spiker. I could not spike decently to save a life. So all those three years I was a setter and/or defense. Until this asshole insisted that I became a spiker because I'm left handed. (If you dont know, left handed spikers are an advantage since all blockers are used to block right handed people, left handed players are always a surprise and is hard to adjust during the first minutes of match)

He'd constantly yell at me for my terrible spiking capacities (which i warned him of) and never allowed me to be a setter. I was a depressed and an angry mofo teenager, I left the team.

And since, I haven't joined a team again.

Now, university. You see, vet school is...not as busy as I'd thought. But I had all this burnout, I cut ties with this toxic people, and was trying to heal myself from all the damage I did to myself on highschool. I was antisocial and liked to be alone with my one friend, who's also a socially awkward mess. I had the opportunity to join the volleyball team and I didnt because I still resented this asshole coach.

And by the time I actually wanted to enjoy my university years, vet school had become busy enough. Not because of the homework (a little bit, yes), but because we were constantly visiting farms all around the state. I barely spend time on campus by this point (leaving little Miss quarantine aside).

So, I started watching Haikyuu, and kid you not, I felt this huge regret of not joining the team when I could. I somehow had burried all those good memories in my head and watching haikyuu made me remember why I loved volleyball so much.

I go out to the garden and empty street to play volleyball by myself, and sometimes with my boyfriend joins. Its very nostalgic and at the same time I feel really full and excited and happy. (And I am totally not crying while writing this ajdjsjf)

I should not have waited this long to watch haikyuu, and I should have joined the vb team when i had the chance. I still have a single term left (in case next term goes as normal) to do it, even if its for a single term, I'm gonna be very satisfied. (because my last term are professional practices, maybe I could if the doctor allows me to go training, the vet I already work at is a mile away from my school)

I rarely feel regret or remorse. I hate those feelings. I've always believed theres no point in regretting the past. Instead of letting those negative feelings make you feel bad, you should use them to sharpen your decision making and seek a way to make things better.

But this? I look back and realize I let an entire year (of enough free time at school) of actually enjoying what I like to do. Playing volleyball. And thinking about how the hourglass is slowly running out of sand makes me feel a little regret. Its time I'm never getting back. I let that oportunity slip like water through my fingers. It makes me wish I could turn back time and actually do something. Or tell Past!Fry to not be a whiny little bitch and go join the team despite liking her solitude and privacy.

I guess the reason why I am liking Haikyuu so much is precisely that emotional connection to volleyball and what it meant playing it. The memory of having to whole hours of me not worrying about my demons. Two hours in which I was completely able to fly freely. And I'm already crying way too much, I'm gonna stop writing now before I flood the room sjdjsnjee

Sorry for the long post, but this is something that has been on my mind a lot. Thank you for bearing my emotional rant.

[john-seed-please]

Turning back

It was all such a blur, I heard a bang and the next think I know the car is submerged in water. Water was all around me, before I swam out the window I turned to check on Marshal, he might have needed help but he was already gone. He must have swam out or jumped out. I definitely wasnt unconscious at any point, when did he go?

I swam up to the surface, looking around I see nothing, it's dark, I'm dizzy, I just swim too land. I drag myself across the dirt and roll onto my back, looking up and at the sky, panting, coughing, trying to gather myself. I can hear talking in the distance but my ears are ringing I can't make out the sound. How did this happen? This is not some simple routine arrest. I don't understand how we all split like this, what happened to watch my back and I'll watch yours. This doesn't seem real, I just lay staring up at the sky, as I start to catch my breathe, I slowly formulate a plan. I'm going to go back to Joseph's compound, because oddly enough, I think that's my safest and best option. I will hide until the members start leaving. Too avoid violence I want to if possibly speak to the Seeds with as least of the members around. But will they listen? Will they let me go? Will they kill me? I have so many questions and as someone who is on the team of people meant to arrest this guy, I sure know a whole lot of nothing. I was briefed on the plane for god sake. This is either way big of an operation that the FBI had known, or they were just so blinded by ambition that they wanted to arrest him now anyway.

Despite only seeing Joseph for such a small amount of time, his words are all I hear in my head over and over. He said he knew this would happen, and he knew we wouldn't succeed in taking him. When we crashed and he faced his members, his said now it has begun.

I try to stand, looking around, finding my bearings. I can make out the silhouette of the bridge and the part that the car crashed off, luckily it seems I am still on the same island as Joseph's compound, and whatever end I'm at, I'm assuming Joseph is at the other. As long as a stick to this shoreline, I should if I remember right from when we were in the sky, end up at the compound. I just need to stay on the left side facing away from the bridge.

I walk slowly, knowing that I'm too wait until most the members have dispersed. It gives me time to compose myself, thinking what I will say. The thought had crossed my mind that what if the Seeds have left the compound already? I'm hoping those chances are low, because if none of them are there, I don't know what I'll do. Maybe if I let a member just kill me I'll wake up from this mess.

The outline of the church becomes clearer as I get closer, I'm still walking slow and trying to keep low. As I approach the back of the building I can hear muffled talking but it's not clear who is talking or what's being said. I slowly creep round the side, looking around for any signs of just anyone. The paths are clear, there is no one in site, I just hope when I swing open these doors that atleast it's the Seeds or Joseph. I stand at the door for what seems like forever, my body is shaking from the cold and damp clothes, I'm muddy, I have grazes all over. Well here goes nothing.

I stand awkwardly for a second, I decided that I should knock, to show that I'm not going to be aggressive. If I just slam open the doors theres a chance I'll just be shot, I want to die atleast knowing what the hell is going on.

"Come in" I hear faintly from inside

I swing open the doors, they creak loudly, I swear they didn't make such a loud noise earlier. I look down the aisle and see a little pop up table with each of the Seeds gathered round, looking at papers in front of them. I step into the building and make my way too them. They all turn and face me, Joseph stands

"Faith, find a blanket" he says. Which made me stop dead in my tracks. Quickly Faith comes to be with a blanket, she wraps it over my shoulders and leads me too a chair at the front. I go along with it, finding comfort in the blanket wrapped around me. I breathe in deeply and then out "We shouldn't have come, we had no information, coming too arrest you was like asking a baby to run without teaching it to walk. I have no idea what is going on. And you all will probably be the only people who can tell me, seeing as everyone I came here with aren't around" I say, fiddling with the corner of the blanket

"You did what you were meant to do" Joseph responds

"But what does that even mean!?"

"It means there was no other way this could have gone, if not you, then someone else. Some things need to happen, even if we don't want them too"

I rub my eyes, completely unable to process what Joseph just said to me, for someone who knew they'd be arrested, they're are so calm, but of course they also knew that we wouldnt be successful with the arrest. I don't understand any of this and I don't care right now.

I lift my head looking to the Seeds, all of them looking back at me. My stomache is in knots, I'm at a loss for words, and all my brain is managing to think is "They gave me a blanket!?"

So, does this mean they're not going to kill me?

I stand and look at Joseph "How did you know this would happen" I ask firmly

"Child, rest tonight, and I will tell you everything soon. After that, you can decide what too do" As he says that he reaches for my hand, giving them a slight squeeze before letting go.

"Will one of you take the Deputy for tonight, make sure she gets a change of clothes, a hot meal and a bed to sleep in" Joseph asks his siblings as he turns. There's barely a few seconds silence before one of the brothers speak up "I have plenty of room at my ranch, I know Jacob is busy has his Judges, and Faith, Her Angels. It might startle the Deputy"

"Very well, John, Thank you, take her to your ranch, bring her back tommorow evening. Deputy rest well"

Before I knew it I was being led back out and in a car with John. Oddly, the drive was not awkward, throughout he constantly is asking me if the heating is okay, how am I feeling. Towards the end of the journey he asked about me, my name, my home, and maybe it wasn't a smart move, but I didn't care, I told him. Though when I ask questions of him, he didn't say much, he only answered questions related to his daily life, when I asked about family he didn't answer much, when I spoke of work and hobbies his eyes lit up. I learnt he very much loves to fly planes, specially his plane called "Affirmation".

Upon arriving at his home I noticed that for something referred too as a ranch, it has rather elegant designs and decor. It was more of a very large cabin, which may I add was beautiful. His gardens, perfectly managed with beautiful flowers and a perfect lawn.

He sat me down on a sofa/couch in front of his fireplace, with the biggest and fluffiest blanket I'd ever seen. He disappeared into his kitchen saying he'll quickly get something together, yet when he returned, he brought a hearty meal. He had two plates, he handed me one.

"I hope you don't mind, can I sit with you?" He asked me

"Of course, you don't need to ask, this is your home. Thank you for this meal, and thank you for the hospitality, I appreciate, I know I'm just a stranger, so it must be difficult" I respond

"You're very welcome, but honestly, I don't feel entirely like we are strangers" He smiled

It's true, though the car ride wasn't overly long, I felt like we did get too know each other a fair bit, and for the most part he was very open, and very easy to talk too. Despite the meaning behind my visiting the compound, the Seeds are somehow welcoming.

_________

It has been a few months since I arrived, I never thought I'd stay. After my meeting with Joseph I found a lot of answers, and even though I wasn't entirely on board, he still was very kind and understanding to me.

I ended up staying with John, it wasn't a conscious decision, it just sort of happened. He slowly began to tell me more of his life, and was very interested in learning about mine, I've grown very fond of him and we've become close. I hadn't even noticed my feelings until one cold night, we just sat in front of the fire, not saying a word, under the same big blanket. He put his arm around me and pulled me into his chest. It felt right, I felt safe and comfortable. Something I thought I had felt before but turns out this was much stronger. We started to make cuddling my the fire a regular thing, and again it wasn't a decision, it just happened naturally. We started to fall asleep, and then we'd end up going to his bed, still wrapped in the blanket. Until I stopped sleeping in the spare room, I just automatically got into bed with him. During the day I helped him with tasks, I even helped Jacob and Faith. Johns Ranch became my home, and I grew to love him dearly.

_____

Request from the very lovely @millicent231-watt

I hope you like it, thank you for your patience!

[fruitpunchninja101]

Perks of Coincidences (Ch. 3) Characters: Hanji Zoe x Levi Genre: Humor / Romance

Check out Chapter1 Chapter 2  

Hange watched Levi pedal away till he disappeared through the dark streets.She took a deep breath and looked up the night sky.

"Cirrostratus 18,000 feet."She whispered under her breath.

Identifying the type of clouds and estimating their altitude is a game she used to play with her dad when she was a child.For some unknown reason recent events had Hange thinking about her father.Its been four months since she last saw him.And truthfully, its wasn't a pleasant ordeal for her.The thought about paying him a visit grazed her mind but she automatically dismissed the thought and started walking towards the house.As she opened the door both her friends turned their heads towards her sporting a cheshire cat grin.

"Welcome back four eyes"Rico greeted her.

"You cant call me that.Youre wearing glasses too."Hange said ponting at Rico's glasses.

"Oooh so its an exclusive nickname huh?"Nanaba teased and gulped the remaining wine on her glass."Did he ask for your number?"The blonde continued.

"Who?"The brunette replied while she settled on the floor.

"The ring guy!The four eyes dude!"Rico turned her head towards Nanaba "Whats his name?"

"Levi"The blonde answered lazily and poured her self another glass of wine.

"Why would he ask for it?" Hange absent mindedly replied as she stuffed her face with pizza.

"Oh Hange you're not gonna get laid hoeing like that"Rico rolled her eyes as Nanaba laughed.

"Hoe-ing?"The brunette tilted her head to the side and raised her brow.Sometimes her friends terminologies go above her head.

"Don't you like to get to know him?Hes a pretty interesting dude."The blonde asked.

"I dont know?Maybe?he does seem like an interesting guy."The brunette non chalantly responded while she reached for a glass of wine.

Nanaba sighed in frustration."Just tell us how you guys found my ring."

The rest of the night was spent explaining what happened at the fun emporium.

#

A week passed after the ball pit incident and Levi hasn't returned her bike.Not that she minded.She didnt really needed the bike back immediately. Hange stood by the university garden staring at the skies.The sky was blue, only sporting a few wisps of white clouds thats lazily drifting.Its a perfect day for a picnic,It would be a waste to spend her lunch break cooped up inide the cafeteria.The brunette did not waste any time and headed to the school rooftop to eat her lunch.Her breath was heaving as she got to the last flight of stairs and mentally noted that she should use her gym membership.When she got to the top she sat on the concrete floor and started unpacking her paper bag.A piece of pink neon post it caught her attention.

Hanginger!We made chicken pesto sandwich for you!For fudge sake,FINISH ALL OF IT!

-Nanabanana & Ricoconut

Hange smiled.Shes lucky to have Rico and Nanaba by her side.Its not everyday you find friends like them.She folded the little neon post it and slid it inside the slip pocket of her satchel and pulled out her old and worn out copy of Dark Tower. She sat on her bottom with legs crossed over her heels.Unphased by the warm concrete,she started reading and she took a bite out of her sandwich.Moments later,she heard the door open revealing a young redheaded girl.Hange was certain the kid almost broke the door when she flew into the room.Shes breathing hard,one of her pig tails were loose and her right cheek were swollen red.Hange stood up and made her way towards the troubled kid.

"Isabel!You bitch!Come back here!" Three girls appeared behind her.

The kid hid behind Hange.Her hands balled into fist as she grabbed unto her labcoat.

"M-Ms.Zoe"One of the bullies recognized her.

Hange didnt pay attention to three girls who stood across them.Instead she took the kid by the chin and examined her cheek."Did they do this to you?"

The girl didnot respond and evaded her look.

"Shes a fucking liar!"one of the bullies shouted. "Ms.Zoe!Dont let her fool y-"The girl was cut off. Isabel raised her head and looked at the brunettes face.Isabel almost trembled when she saw the most livid and intimidating glare shes seen in her life.The girls had their colors drained from their faces. "Apologize to her"Hange calmly not breaking her stare. "W-why would we do that?"One of the girls folded her arms across her chest as if challenging Hange.Her voice still trembling but trying her best to look confident.

"Look,theres two ways we can go about this.We can escalate this situation and call the diciplinary department.Which I guarantee wont end well...or you three can apologize and leave her alone."The brunette's tone sounded with finality.

The trio looked at each other and eventually decided to follow the brunette's demand.

"S-sorry."Says the leader of the trio.

Hanges blinked her livid expression and was replaced by a happy smile.

"That's not so hard is it?Now you three go and enjoy your lunch break."Making a shoo-ing gesture. They didn't have to be told twice and bolted out of the rooftop. Hange turned her attention to the red head who now released her tight grip on her labcoat.She placed a firm hand on her shoulder and crouched a little to meet her eyes.

"Hey,I'm Hange!Whats your name?"

"Isabel M-Magnolia"Still evading the brunettes gaze.

"Nice to meet you Isabel!Lets fix you up...do you have any spare hair ties?"

Hange immediately regretted offering to fix Isabel's hair.She was never good in the hair department but she did try her best.Isabel was working on an assignment as the brunette desperately struggled to fix her pigtails.

"If you dont mind me asking,Why are those girls are after you?"Hange asked as she tried to brush the tangled ends of Isabel's hair.

"That just how bullies are.They prey on the weak and unpopular kids."

"That may be so,but that doesn't mean you have to go through it alone."Hange had her own fair share of bullies before.God knows what she would've done she didnt found Nanaba and Rico."If those girls comes back,you tell me okay?" Hange twisted the hair ties for the last time "Aaand were done!"The brunette announced.Isabel touched her hair trying to figure out how it looks like.She knows The brunette tied her hair a little askewd but it doesn't matter.This woman saved her.

"T-thank you"

"No prob-"Hange's eyes drifted off to the paper Isabel's holding."Is that a chemistry assignment?" Immediately Isabel pressed the paper on her chest hiding her work.She was very bad at chemistry and shes not about to humiliate herself infront of a professor. "Its okay,Let me see..."Hange gently pried off Isabels tight grip on her paper. "Which one are you having trouble with?"Reluctantly,Isabel pointed on question number 4. "Oh!This one?You see,Iodine atoms have 53 electrons and the shell structure is 2.8.18.18.7.You also forgot to indicate the ground state electron configuration of ground state gaseous neutral iodine is Kr 4d10.5s2.5p5 and the term symbol is 2P3/2." "You know that at the top of your head?" "I can teach you if you want." "You would?Really?I'll ask my uncle if he'd shell out cash for your tutoring services" "Oh no!You dont have to pay me...I just want to help you" "Why?" "Because thats what friends do silly!"Hange ruffled her hair and pushed her self up the floor and started packing up her stuff. "I got to go,I have a class in 5 minutes...Here take this"She offered a pack of twizzlers.Isabel hesitated to take the pack of sweets but hange placed it on her hands and patted her hair.

"If you want,we can eat lunch here again tomorrow."

Hange patted the girls shoulder one last time and started running.Leaving the young woman blushing, overwhelmed by the kindness the brunette showed her.

#

Levi didnt leave France because he had to.He left because he needs to.His mother suffered a severe mental condition and after years of battling with it she took her own life a few months ago.Levi knows he had to get out of the city and start anew.He cant bear the sight of the restaurants they use to go and the city his mother loved so much.Its a constant reminder of his failure to help her.Abandoning the life he's accustomed wasnt easy either.He is an esteemed tea broker in France and many companies,microbrewers and restaurant owners were deeply upset of his desicion on leaving the country.But he knows he has to leave for his sanity. So here he was,back in his fathers town where he spent a good amount of his childhood summers with his uncle and adoptive niece.Levi sat on his porch drinking tea and his gaze drifted to a teal bike rested against the wall.Its been a week,he should probably return that.

"Big bro!"

He turned his head towards his red headed niece who has running towards him with a wide smile plastered across her face.Levi put down his teacup back on the table and braced himself for an incoming hug from Isabel.

"Someone looks happy today.What happened?"Levi sounding almost sarcastic despite his genuine interest and ruffled Isabel's hair.

"This!"She lifted a pack of twizzlers out of her bag practically shoving it to his face."I just made a friend today."She added as she clung on his neck.

"What kind of friend bribes people with that awful snack."Slightly pushing the package away from his face.

"Oh dont be like that!Shes really nice,she even helped me with my..."Isabel trailed off and her hug losened when the teal bike caught her eye "When did you buy that?"

"Its not mine"Levi lifted his cup in the manner he's accustomed to and sipped his tea.

"You stole it?"Levi slowly turned his head towards his niece and gave her a look of disgust and disbelief."Why the fuck would I steal a bike?"

"I don't know...Did you borrow it?"Isabel inspected the bike.

"Yes,is there a problem with that?"The raven haired man continued sipping his tea.

"its not your type of color."Isabel shot him an iquisitive look.

"And what do you know exactly about my type of color?"avoiding her gaze.

"Well,it looks too feminine..."Slowly,Isabel's confused expression slowly turned to a mischievous grin "Say big bro,did you borrow this from a...girl?"Levi ignored her and continued drinking his tea.

"is she pretty?"Isabel added as she teasingly poked his shoulders.

Levi almost choked on his drink."Jeez Isabel!What is wrong with you"Sounding almost offended.

"Oh my god!So it is a woman!Youre blushing!"Pointing on his face.

Levi knows for a fact that he is not blushing.Isabel had this weird fixation on his personal affairs but somehow shes being extra giddy because of this new found friend she had.Honestly,he is not in the mood to deal with this.Huffing exasperatedly,he stood up.

"Thats it.I'm getting rid of this shit."

"Calm down!No need to be defensive."Isabel giggled and continued teasing Levi.

"Get yourself cleaned up..and fix your goddamn pigtails!Its allover the place"

Ignoring the crude comment of his uncle she stood up and started walikng towards the front door "Say hi to the bike lady for me !" she gleefuly added before she went inside.

#

Rico was binge watching Stranger Things when she heard the doorbell ring.Shes too comfortable to stand up.She ignored it,hoping that whoever is at the door would eventually leave.Usually its just packages that Hange orders online and was usually left at the doorstep by the delivery service. It wasn't long until the ringing turned violent and she cant focus on what shes watching.

"Yeah!yeah! I can hear you calm down"She pushed herself out of the sofa and walked towards the door.

A familiar short raven haired man stood infront of her.

"Oh,its you!The ring guy?Hange's not here..."

"I just want to return that"Levi mentioned plainly and pointed at the bike parked on their lawn.

"Oh?Okay,Just leave that right there.I'll tell her you came by"

Levi nodded ever so slightly acknowledging Rico's statement and started walking away.

Rico stared at the man and thought about Hange.Shes been through 6 dates now.Well 7 if you count that failed one she had with a stranger.Maybe she can do something to help her friend a little bit.

"Hey!"The silver haired woman shouted.

Levi stopped on his tracks and looked at her over his shoulders.

"Do you want her number?"Rico offered.

"No,That wont be necessary."He turned his back to her and continued walking away.

~He's leaving Rico do something...anything!

"I-Its courtesy to text her that you've returned her stuff.You should at least thank her or something."Once again Levi stopped on his tracks and turned towards her.He gave her a look which she cant place if confusion or just down right irritation."Give me a minute."Rico ran inside the house and came back holding a pen writing something on a pad of post it."Here"

Levi simply stared at the piece of paper.

"Just take it"

Sighing,he unenthusiastically took the piece of paper and left.

~Does all of her friends have to be this pushy?

"You're welcome"Rico sarcastically yelled as she watched the man walk away.

#

Levi sat on the dining room staring at the piece of paper laid on the table the silver haired girl gave him.He doubts that theres this rule that you should inform people that you've returned their stuff.He already returned her bike whats there to say?He pulled out his phone from his pocket and started typing

'Hey four eyes I already returned your bike.Thank you'.

Before he can hit send ,Isabel peered behind him. "Whats that?" Levi almost jumped from the redhead's sudden appearance.Immediately,he pocketed his phone, reached for the paper crumpled it and hid it behind his back.If Isabel realizes that he has the number of "The Bike Lady" hell never hear the end of it from her.

"How many times do I have to remind you not to sneak up on me like that?"Levi scolded his niece.

"I didnt sneak up on you,youre just spacing out...what've you got there?"

"Nothing just some tea names.Arent you supposed to be studying?"

"I am!im just taking a break."Isabel pulled out the chair beside Levi and took a seat. "Big bro,Ive been meaning to tell you something.Im failing miserably with chemistery and my friend offered to tutor me." "How much?"Levi stood up and started walking towards the fridge. "She says shell do it for free...She said that what friends do." "She refused payment?"Opening the fridge door,and reached for a bottle of water. "Yeah,shes nice like that!" Levi was meaning to say something along the lines of her friend might be a weirdo and hes not keen to inviting strangers to their house but he restrained himself.Judging by the way Isabel praises her, she must be a wonderful kid.So he reserved his judgement until he meets this friend. "Alright,When do you start?"He opened the bottle and started drinking water. "By next week probably."Isabel stood up ,streched and shook her head trying to wake herself up."Did you get to see the Bike Lady?"

"No."

"Is that so?Don't forget to thank her the next time you meet.You have a bad habit of forgetting to thank people.Good night big bro!"Isabel gave him a quick hug and went upstairs.

He opened the fridge door one more time to return the unfinished bottle of water.The pack of twizzlers Isabel brought home earlier caught his eye.He took a piece and bit one end letting it dissolve,while letting the other end hang out on his mouth.

~Why am I even overthinking this.

Levi fished his phone out of his pocket and hit send.