Hello #Femmequixotic, I am a huge fan of your fics, and I've recently finished the 4th part of your Tales from the Special Branch.
Firstly, I'd like to express my admiration and love for your writing and creativity, and after reading your last post here, I hope you currently find yourself in a better place.
Now, I confess that I came here to see when you had last spoken about your work, and was incredibly excited to see that you were working on it, only to see that it has been over a year since.
I understand how life can be unpredictable, and no-one will be upset (although certainly sad) about you abandoning the series, but I came here to simply thank you for your work, and ask if there is any chance of an update (that being new chapters or the definite end to the series).
Regards,
V.
Hi, friend,
I just logged in after a significant amount of time away and saw this and some other lovely messages of support for me from various people. Thank you all so much for your kind words.
To provide an update on why I once again disappeared....well. Life is curiously, frustratingly exasperating sometimes. Just as I got back into writing last year, I started to have some health difficulties that I had to deal with. Long story short, I was rediagnosed with cancer in the spring of 2023. This recent tumor wasn't operable due to its placement, and technically was considered metastatic, so over the past year, I have been going through a very long process of two different types of radiation treatment plus five months of chemotherapy. I still have a very long stretch of immunotherapy ahead of me, and while the tumor seems to have melted away, we're not entirely certain the cancer is gone based on some symptoms I continue to have. My oncology team is awesome, though, and they're doing everything they can to help me.
I'm better than I was a year ago--or even six months ago--so that's positive, and my brain is finally starting to return back to normal from some of the fatigue and fog from treatment and from being ill. I'd like to go back to writing, and I'm feeling more creative as my strength builds back up. I don't want to promise anything, since the last time I did, life decided to immediately throw me a curveball, and to be honest, I'm still wicked tired on my good days, but I hope to complete the story within the next year. That's my plan, at least, so fingers crossed? I've always said I didn't want to abandon it at any point, and I'm determined to keep that promise to you all--and to myself.
So, yeah. That's what's been happening. I'm still here, I'm still fighting, and I'm still writing. Just super slowly, lol.
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“The Call” a Reader X Nick Amaro fanfic
Genre: Angst/Fluff
Word Count: 1,822
Warnings: Talks of cancer and women’s health. Infertility.
Author’s Note: This is deeply personal for me. I’m going through this right now and I needed to write to get my emotions out somewhat. I held back a lot but it’s what I know right now and what I’m going through. Just thought I’d share a little story with you all too.
Sitting at your desk your phone started vibrating against the surface. Picking it up you noticed it was your doctors office. Two days prior you had gone in for a checkup and she had found a polyp on your cervix which she removed for testing but had assured you they were common and no cause for real concern.
Picking the phone up and answering it you pressed it to your ear with a casual greeting. “Hello?”
“Is this Mrs. Amaro?” The woman on the other end of the line spoke softly.
“This is she.”
“This is Jackie at Dr. Coleman’s office. Mrs. Amaro, the doctor would like you to come in today to see her in the office to go over your test results.” She spoke with a slight worrying tone to her voice.
“U-um…y-yeah okay. Alright.” You felt your heart rate rising.
“Can you come at one this afternoon?” Jackie asked.
“Y-yeah…yeah I’ll be there.” You nodded not that anyone could see you.
“We’ll see you then Mrs. Amaro.” The nurse hung up after saying goodbye.
Fears and anxiety raised in your mind as your heart raced more. You needed to tell Nick and there was no way you could concentrate on your tasks at hand now.
Signing off your computer you dialed Nick’s familiar number hoping he would pick up.
“Hey baby…didn’t expect you to call.” Nick purred as soon as he saw a picture of you and he at the summer festival in Central Park pop up on his phone.
“Nick…Nick…” You started, your voice shaky.
“Baby what is it?” Nick asked straight away detecting the fear in your voice.
“The doctor, the doctors office just called.” You found yourself swallowing a lump in your throat. “They want to see me regarding the polyp they tested. I know it’s not fair of me to ask this but…but can you” You began before Nick cut you off.
“I’m coming home and going with you, baby. You don’t need to worry about asking me. I’m going with you. I’ll be home, twenty minutes tops okay?” He spoke with urgency.
“O-okay…t-thank you. I’m just. I’m just scared. They don’t ask you to come in if everything is normal.” You tried swallowing your tears.
“I know baby, I know.” His voice was soft and broken with worry and concern for you.
***
It was about twenty minutes later Nick rushed into your shared apartment finding you pacing the small living area.
“Hey baby I’m home. I’m here. I’ve got ya.” He came over pulling you into his arms holding you close and stroking your back gently.
You breathed shakily into his shoulder as you wrapped your arms around him.
“Thank you for coming home. I’m so sorry…I shouldn’t ask you to come home. I’m so sorry.” You sniffled.
“Hey…” he pulled you back and held your upper arms as he looked into your eyes. “I will always, come home to you if you need me for anything. Alright Amor?” You nodded before he pulled you close again kissing you tenderly and holding you close.
***
It was a little past one now as you sat in the doctor’s office. The nurse had just shown you to her office and said that Dr. Coleman would be in with you in just a few moments. You thanked her kindly and took a seat across from her desk, Nick sitting beside you holding your hand.
Your mind filled with questions and what if’s but nothing made any clear sense it was so jumbled.
Your knee bounced with anticipation and anxiety as you zoned out onto a little medicine advert sitting on the desk.
“Hey…” Nick whispered looking to you with his brows furrowed in concern.
You looked over to him as his voice shook you from your thoughts. “Hmm?” You hummed.
“It’s alright. No matter what she says, I’m right here with you.” He nodded a little and gave your hand a squeeze.
You were about to thank him when the door opened and in walked Dr. Coleman. “Good afternoon. I’m glad you could come in (Y/N), but I’m so sorry too.” She sighed as she took a seat. “You must be Mr. Amaro.” She looked over to Nick.
“Nice to meet you.” The blonde smiled and pulled up your chart on her computer.
“Nice to meet you as well.” Nick replied.
“So…(Y/N) the polyp we removed the other day ended up being a grade one tumor. It shows you have Endometrial Cancer.” The woman said softly as she looked to you and Nick.
You zoned out as you felt your heart drop. Cancer. You had cancer. No one expected or ever thought they’d have cancer especially in their 30’s.
The doctor kept talking explaining everything and stopped to ask if you or Nick had any questions. When you didn’t reply Nick squeezed your hand. “Amor?” He said gently.
“Hmm?” You looked to him then back to the doctor feeling tears fall down your face that you weren’t aware had even gathered in your eyes.
“Do you have any questions?” Dr. Coleman asked again.
“I…I.” You swallowed. “I don’t know.” You let out a choked breath.
“I understand. We can stay here as long as you like to (Y/N). You can always call or message me if you think of anything at all. I’ll make sure the oncologist calls and sets up an appointment with you as soon as possible.” The woman assured.
“I-I don’t think I can even think of anything. What will they do about it?” You furrowed your brows.
“They’ll preform a hysterectomy. Usually if it hasn’t spread to the lymph-nodes then a hysterectomy is all you’ll need. Thats what we hope for.” She smiled.
You only nodded. You and Nick had talked about having kids but it hadn’t happened yet even with trying. You always wanted to be a mother and you had an extremely close relationship with Zara and Gill but you wanted to expand your family and now it was all for nothing. They could take your uterus and leave the ovaries but generally they would take them as well which left you no option of even saving eggs for a surrogate in the future. Not to mention IVF was an extremely expensive adventure.
You felt your heart break all over again before you looked back to the doctor. “Thank you. I’ll let you know if I need anything.” You sniffled and even caught a few tears in Dr. Coleman’s eyes.
“Again, I’m so sorry.” She said softly and you just nodded and held onto Nick’s hand as he helped you up and headed out the office.
***
The ride home had been a silent one. You were processing it all. The anxiety, the fear, the unknowns, never having your own kids. You could adopt of course but that wasn’t even in your head right now.
Once inside the apartment you kicked your shoes off and headed to the bedroom wanting to just get comfortable before you even sat down to process and talk to Nick.
Nick sighed, the news had scared him too. Cancer. The big C word. It scared him to think he may not have as much time with you despite it being a very treatable cancer that they had seemed to catch early unless it was worse once they opened you up. That thought scared him alone. The what if’s had swirled in his mind just as much as they were yours and now he needed to try to focus on helping and supporting you the best he knew how.
“Baby…can I get you a tea or anything?” He called down the hall to you.
“No. I don’t feel like drinking or anything.” You said back as you came back into the living room heading to the couch and curling up with your knees bent and feet tucked under you.
“You didn’t have lunch or anything though baby. You got to be hungry by now.” Nick came over to the couch, sitting down beside you and pulling you into his arms, bringing your head to his chest as he wrapped his arms around you, pressing his lips to your head gently.
“I’m not hungry. I can’t even think of eating.” You sniffled.
“Baby…I know you’re upset and this news, this news is just heartbreaking but you have to eat. You are fighting now. You’re fighting harder. Your body needs food.” He purred as you sat there listening to the steady beating of his heart.
“I know. I just don’t want anything right now.” You spoke barely above a whisper.
“Alright Amor.” He replied understandingly. “I’m right here with you. I won’t go anywhere.”
“Cancer. Who the hell thought it would be that. They had said it was normal a-and now it’s cancer. I have to wait so long for the oncologist and then I’ll have surgery and what then?? W-we weren’t able to have children like we wished. We couldn’t…we tried and couldn’t. You think this is punishment for something I’ve done?” You looked up to Nick’s hazelnut eyes as tears spilled down your face. “Punishment for not being healthy enough o-or did I do something wrong?”
“Baby no…no you didn’t do anything wrong Amor. This isn’t your fault and it’s not a punishment. You are strong you are a fighter and you are kind. This isn’t your fault. It’s not.” Nick urged.
“B-but we can’t…we’ll never have children of our own. Never. A-are you sure you still want me? You sure you want this? You don’t have to put up with anything, I can leave.” You choked out.
“Hey…no. That’s not happening. I love you so much baby. I love you. Please never ever forget that. you’re not going anywhere okay, no one is getting rid of anyone. You’re the love of my life. So important to me and to my kids. We may not be able to have our own babies, Amor but you and I can adopt when we think we’re ready. Right now all I’m worried about is you, your health, and your happiness. I just want you to be okay right now.” Nick urged, a finger under your chin to keep your gaze on him until he kissed you softly and wiped your tears with his thumbs. “I love you (Y/N) Amaro. I love you so much.” He said between kisses.
“I-I love you too.” You sniffled.
“We’re going to fight this together alright? I’m going to take off work and be with you for every appointment and every test. You’ll never have to be alone. Through sickness and in health.” The handsome raven haired Cuban assured.
“Thank you. Always. You’re so important to me.” You replied. And he kept his promise, he was right with you through everything and always there to hold your hand, just like he said because Nick Amaro was a man of his word and always kept his vows.
*****
Author’s Note: Thanks @irishavengersassemble for editing and reading through it. Thank you for supporting me and being there for me.
Tagging a few people who may want to read (or not want to and I just admire your writings and want to share 😅) @itsjustmyfantasyroom @burningtacozombie @beccabarba @darqchilddaydreamz @breanime @withmyteeth
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