#Dr Adam Brown Raped My Nose

[teufelbcy-arch]

Everything’s Okay.

October 13, 2019 Three Months since the last visit Englewood, OH Dr. Gravers Office

Three months. It'd been three months since the last time that Oliver set foot into Dr. Gravers' office and he wasn't thrilled about it but the detectives from his investigation on the rape back in June, insisted that Oliver see him again. He wasn't sure why though, it wasn't like he was going to tell them about the last time he'd been there, how he was pretty damn positive that Jameson was back. It had to of been him. The fact he had Jameson's face embedded into his brain, if they had put him in a lineup, Oliver would've pointed him out in a heartbeat. If they had to blindfold him and have them say something, he'd be able to identify him.

Fidgetting with his zipper on his jacket, Oliver sat in the same uncomfortable seat. The same one that he was in three months prior, talking about the incident of the night before he was found. The clicking of the door opening and then closing caused the boy to flinch in his seat, a rush of cold going over him as brown hues looked over to the familiar psychologist. Oliver swallowed back thickly and gave a small grin towards the man, hues watching his every move. His next one? Sitting in the same spot across from him in the same black and white checkered seat that Oliver had been sitting in. The boy wondered who had designed that office. He always thought that abstract designs were a distraction. But what did he know? He wasn't someone who cared about what was on other people's minds.

"Hello there, Oliver" Dr. Gravers smiled towards the boy, raising his hand to adjust the glasses that were lowered on his nose, something that was a bit irritating to Oliver but hell, a lot of things about this office, about Dr. Gravers irritated him. The boy kept his mouth shut, giving yet another subtle grin towards the man, nodding in his direction. Brown hues lowered back down to his zipper, lengthy digits fidgetting some more with the metal.

The sound of a pen scratching against paper rang through to the boys hearing aids. Despite having a hard time hearing, with how eerily quiet it was in that office, you could hear the coughing and sniffing from the people out in the waiting room. You could hear every little sound in that room and he didn't like it, not one bit. The Teufel boy just sat there. Was the doctor expecting him to start this off? Like that was going to happen.

After about two minutes of scratching pen to paper, though it felt like an eternity to Oliver, Dr. Graver's green eyes finally looked up towards the curly haired boy. A small still on his face as he cleared his throat. 

"I've got some good news, Oliver. But, I would love to know how you have been lately, hmm?" His voice was that same calmed tone that he remembered three months prior. That was something else that Oliver's mind was wondering about, did you have to have a soft voice to be able to be a psychologist? Kind of like how with doctors, they have that chicken scratch for handwriting, did you have to have the same thing with the voice?

His mind liked to wander from time to time, it was his way of keeping from the truth, letting his mind turn to darkness. He wasn't down for talking about the past. Didn't they say that moving on was the best thing? So, why wouldn't they let him? Oliver barely heard a word that the doctor had said until he got a clear of the throat from the doctor, green hues still on the boy in front of him. 

"Oliver?"

Shaking his head some, as if to get himself out of his little world that he had formed just moments prior, Oliver looked up from the metal that was still currently in his fingers and looked towards Dr. Gravers.

"Hmm?" He let go of the zipper and sat up some, re-positioning himself to be less of a slouch in the chair. 

"Did you hear what I said?" Dr. Gravers asked, obvious to Oliver's attempt to keep quiet.

"Yeah, sure. Uh, why am I here? No one's bothered me in three months about this whole thing, so why am I here exactly?" Eyes squinting in pure annoyance at that point. "I get wanting to see how I'm doing and all that crap but that would make sense if you uh, cared throughout the last three months but you haven't, so unless Jameson is fucking caught, I don't see what the point is in being here..." His tone laced with irritation.

"Oliver, have you thought about any of this that's gone on since you last were here?" The doctor asked, obviously ignoring Oliver's irritation. The kid didn't scare him and Oliver could tell the man wasn't going to budge on anything. Maybe that was why they had him meet with this man. 

A sharp sigh escaped Oliver as he began to slouch in the chair, arms crossing against his chest. "Why's it matter if I have or not?"

"Well, because Oliver. It's the first step in recovery. Have you told anyone in your family? Aside from your mother? I mean, surely you've told your brother, Greg, right? Your sister? Anyone?" 

Why did it matter? Who cared if he was raped? Who cared if he was tortured? Who. The. Fuck. Cared?! A loud and almost exaggerated sigh escaped the boys lips, opening his mouth, as if he were going to say something and then looked away from the doctor, eyes on the many, many, many books behind the man.

Who the hell needed that many books? Eyes rolling, Oliver finally opened his mouth and started to talk. "No, I haven't told anyone about what happened to me. My mom, as everyone knows, knows but no one else does. Even with my mom knowing, she still hasn't asked me how I'm doing or anything. She's moved on, like nothing ever happened to me. And my brother-" He paused and shook his head, his mind going straight back to the words from earlier. "Wait, you said there's good news?" He finally looked back to the man in front of him, sitting back to his original position.

A small chuckle came from the doctor's lips, eyes on the boy the whole time. "Well, I see you were somewhat listening to me. But, yes. There's some good news. Jameson has been caught. He's in police custody right now" Dr. Gravers smiled softly at him. "He was caught about a week ago. That's why they asked you to come in. They wanted to make sure things were okay with you before going to the next step in this investigation"

"Next step? What's that?" Bushy black brows furrowed in confusion as Oliver looked towards the doctor, his mind actually letting him focus on the information that was given to him, rather than wander back out. "Why didn't anyone tell me he was caught?! Do you have any fucking idea how long I've been waiting to hear those words, Doc?! Huh?! No idea! Why is everyone so adamant on what's going on in my fucking god damn head?! HUH!?" Oliver's tone began to change, lacing with more irritation and now anger.

Dr. Gravers let out a small sigh the moment that Oliver freaked out. He began to scribble some notes on the paper again, eyes lowered from the boy. That didn't sit well to Oliver. 

"What the fuck are you writing?! Huh?! Oh let me guess, the victim is too fucked up in the head to attend the god damn trial, that right?! I'm not fucking crazy! I'm not messed up in the head! Stop!" A rush of cold came through the boy and immediately his breathing picked up. A haze came over his eyes, slowly the boy put his clammy hand over his heart, breathing picking up, sitting back into the checkered chair. A whimper came to his lips as he took his other hand and started whimpering, the pain gradually coming to the surface. He couldn't stop it from coming and his breathing was labored, harsh yet slow.

"Oliver, hey hey, Oliver, please, breathe. Look at me, Oliver" Dr. Gravers set the clipboard down onto the stand with the lamp that was sitting next to him and immediately got down on Oliver's level, eyes on the boy. "Look at me, Ollie. Breathe, okay?" 

That was the one name that Oliver rarely heard but for some reason, it was something that tended to help him calm down. Though, it was usually from his siblings or friends but hearing it from the doctor, it helped some. Tears were in the boys eyes, a fuzzy blur came to his eyes as he blinked back the tears, whimpering against his hand, his whole body freezing cold but he was burning up. But Oliver did what he was told, his hands lowered from his chest and mouth, resting in the doctor's hands as he began to mimic the doctor's breathing.

"There you go, breathe, Ollie. In and out, nice and slow" Dr. Gravers spoke, breathing in a deep breath and then exhaled through his nose. "In and out, alright? Focus on something, alright, Oliver? Breathe. Focus on my shirt" He pointed to the duck that was on his shirt. The man had a weird sense of fashion. That was something else that Oliver had wondered earlier, do head docs have to dress weird? Or maybe it was for something like this, to get their patients focused on something? "Can you do that for me, Ollie? Focus your mind on the duck, picture it in the water that's on my shirt, can you do that? Keep breathing in and out slowly but focus on the duck" Dr. Gravers smiled gently.

The boy looked from the doctor's now calm face down to the duck, doing what the doctor said, his breathing still slow. The pain was subsiding, numbing out now. It was still there but it was going away at the same time. It was as if his panic attack wanted to remind him that it was there. The duck began to swim around in that god awful blue colored shirt, hitting into the other ducks on the mans shirt, shaking it's head in confusion. That caused Oliver to smile, a subtle chuckle came from his lips as Dr. Gravers sighed of relief and stood back up, sitting in the chair he was in before.

A moment of silence lingered about in the room. The coughs from the back of him, from the waiting room had filled the silence for a brief second. 

"How are you feeling now, Oliver?" Dr. Gravers' voice came into the room again, brown hues looking back to him, Oliver giving a small nod. 

"A little better" Oliver whispered, swallowing back, fingers back to the metal on his jacket.

"Why don't we talk about that, Oliver. Why do you think you have panic attacks like that? What do you think started them? You've told me about the attack with Jameson but I don't think that's where it all started, Oliver. I think it started somewhere else, somewhere farther down the line. Your file says here that you were a rambunctious kid, is that right? Do you think you had ADHD? Were you ever diagnosed?" Dr. Gravers wanted Oliver to focus on his questions, it was why he was asking so many, to get Oliver's mind focused and to try and answer any of them rather than focus on the trial since it was what started the attack minutes earlier. "Think back before the car accident, can you do that for me? Before your father passed away. Can you remember the kind of kid you were?"

Why? Why was his past brought up? No one cared, so why was he caring? Why did anyone care? Oliver let out a soft yet deep sigh, licking at his lips, reaching over as he took a sip of the water on the stand that was beside him, no lamp on his though. These were things that Oliver noticed, his mind wanting to focus on the room and not himself but the questions, they lingered in his mind. Swallowing back the water, Oliver closed his eyes to try and remember back before his father died. 

"I was a, uh, kid that loved music. We uh, my dad had a Ukulele all the time, I would always play with it" A small smile formed, eyes opening as he looked to the doctor, eyes soft. He received a nod and Oliver was wondering if the doctor would be writing this down but he didn't have that stupid clipboard anymore. "I uh, I was pretty active as a kid. From what I can remember, I wasn't one to sit still. I always had to move around, I think that's why it was so cool living in Manhattan cause it was a big jungle gym to me and I could run around and stuff."

"I could uh, I could run around and almost tire myself out. A lot of people couldn't handle me. My mom, she would annoyed but I think because she understood because my dad had a lot of mental issues, she was uh, she was understanding? I guess?" Oliver questioned, almost wanting an answer from the doctor but Dr. Gravers continued to stay quiet, nodding in an encouraging way. "I think I was diagnosed with ADHD but not until I moved here. But when I moved here, that's when uh, that's uh, when things uh, you know, changed and stuff" He sniffed some.

"Let's focus on your past, Ollie. Let's not focus on now, at least right now. Think back before your dad died, before things changed. How was life at home?"

Oliver nodded to show he understood, sniffing once more and took another sip of his water before setting it back on the stand. "Life at home was good. I mean, my sister and I got along, my brother and I would occasionally argue but I mean, I guess its cause I always wanted to be like him, always wanted to hang out with him and his friends" The boy shrugged, smiling a little. "Greg, he was the only person that could keep up with my energy. He helped me sometimes when I couldn't do school cause Dee, she'd uh, she'd get frustrated with me because I couldn't understand something the second she explained it to me but Greg, he was always so patient with me. He'd help me, even if he had to explain it a million times. I mean, I don't remember much of before my Dad died cause most of it is a blur but uhm, my brother was my rock, ya know? I think he's the reason I made it to each grade. That and my best friend, Tripp. Though Tripp and I were a lot alike, we uh, we helped each other. It was like, it was like" Oliver hated his stutter but it was something he'd always had. When his brain went faster than his mouth.

"It was uh, like a uh, a uh, uhm" He swallowed back, shaking his head. "A domino effect? Is that the right word? Like Greg would help me and then I'd understand it and then I'd help Tripp understand it" A smile grew on the boys face. "But, I mean aside from my hyperactivity, I was a pretty normal kid. I'd get in trouble because I couldn't sit still but uh, you know, guess that's happens when a kid, when a kid, when a kid who has so much energy does when he is made to sit still" He looked at the doctor.

Dr. Gravers smiled. This was the first time that Oliver had actually opened up, aside from the attack. This was a breakthrough. Something that he didn't think he'd get through with Oliver. "Good. Good. My son has ADHD, so I totally understand, which I'm sure is why your parents let you be the kid you were because they understood." He smiled. "Now, let's focus on when you moved here, yeah? That seems to be maybe where your anxiety came into play?" He asked.

Oliver swallowed back thickly. He'd never told anyone about what he'd gone through with his mother after they moved there. No one would believe him and though he was 18 in less than a month, he knew no one would believe him. Even when he told people in the past, they laughed and said that he was just making shit up but he wasn't. Oliver cleared his throat and nodded. He knew he'd only tell part of the truth. The truth that everyone knew about was his brother had gone to a mental hospital for six months, so maybe that was a way to keep the truth alive but still not expose his mother.

"Uh, well when my mom told us that we were moving, we didn't understand. I mean, she says its so we can start a new life and sh.it but I think it's because everything of Manhattan reminded her of my dad and stuff" He shrugged. "The anxiety and depression started around 11 or 12. I can't remember exactly but that's when things uh, got worst at home with my mom and brother" His voice began to become shaky, licking his lips as they started to dry out some. His hands began to tremble in his lap, immediately Oliver tucked them in between his thighs but immediately his leg started bouncing up and down.

That moment, Dr. Gravers grabbed the clipboard off his stand and began to scribble onto the paper again. Seemed what Oliver was saying was grasping his attention but it wasn't something Oliver was thrilled with. He hated that the doctor continued to write shit about him. But he knew he couldn't freak out again. He remembered Dr. Gravers rules on the first day. '2 panic attacks in one visit would result in the hospital for the night' and he wasn't about that.

"Uhm, yeah. I mean, uh, things got bad at around 13, I guess? I don't know. I don't remember exactly but my mom had gotten more into the uh, the Church and seemed to have disappeared. Like, she wasn't our mom anymore. She kinda shut down a lot and apparently, the older I got, I guess, I guess, I uh, I uh, uh, had reminded her a lot of our dad? I don't know. But, things got bad and when I would back talk her and stuff or not listen, she'd freak out. The uh, the basement didn't come into play until around 15 or 16 but uh-"

"The basement? Oliver, is your mother abusing you?" Dr. Gravers sat up some in his chair, sitting on the edge and lowered his clipboard, concern in his eyes. "Oliver, what's the basement?" He asked.

Immediate regret. Oliver cleared his throat and lowered his hues, biting his lower lip nervously. regretting immediately the mention of the basement. It was like his brain went from one thing to another in the matter of a millisecond, his mouth spitting the words out. "It's where I go when I'm bad" His words were low, nearly inaudible. "The basement is my hell" He whispered and swallowed back thickly, hues still lowered, away from the doctor but he could feel the others eyes on him.

Sitting back, Dr. Gravers adjusted himself and the scribbles came back into the room. Reaching his hand up, Oliver scratched the back of his neck and finally allowed himself to look at the doctor. 

"Please don't tell them anything, please? Nothing bad happened... I promise" He whimpered, frowning deep. But the scribbling continued. "Please!" Tears formed in the boys eyes, immediately his hands went to the arms of the chair and gripped them tightly, trying to keep himself from freaking out. "Please" He whispered, his voice shaking. "Please" He begged.

"Oliver, I'll let the detectives know about when you're ready for the trial, alright? For now, I would like to see you one more time before then. It probably won't happen for at least another month, the trial that is. So, I would like to see you back here in a couple of weeks, so we can continue to discuss things and then your lawyer and I will discuss what is to happen at the trial, alright?" Dr. Gravers gave him a small smile. "In the meantime, I want you to start writing in a journal" Dr. Gravers got up and walked over to the library behind his desk and grabbed a black book, walking back over and stood in front of Oliver, handing it down to him. "Start writing your thoughts in this, alright? Whenever you're feeling scared, alone, or whatever, write down the date, the time, and what is going on in your head. Be as visual and as vivid as you can. Can you do that for me? I want to help you through all of this." He put his hand on Oliver's shoulder, giving a small squeeze. "C'mon, let's get you your next appointment set up"

Oliver swallowed back and took the book, breathing slow. It looked like a normal book. He was wondering if Dr. Gravers had suspicions about his mother and brother. He didn't want to get either of them in trouble. 

"Will it be just mine? No one else will read it?" Oliver asked, standing up from the chair, looking at Dr. Gravers. A small nod came in return to Oliver. 

"I'll be the only one reading it." He promised and smiled some. "Just between me and you, I promise" Dr. Gravers squeezed his shoulder and led Oliver out of the office. "Just us" He whispered and opened the door, letting Oliver go to the front desk. Oliver looked back and breathed slow, nodding before walking out and past his brother.

Immediately, his heart raced since Cindy had Greg take him to his session with the doctor. The rape, the attack, all of it was still something he had yet to share with the oldest Teufel and he wasn't sure if it was something he should share. Since his brother had his own issues. He swallowed back and gave a small grin towards the oldest who grinned back but had a confused look on his face. Oliver's face was a bit swollen from his panic attack earlier, his eyes still bright red. 

"Everything okay?" Greg asked, coming up behind his brother as Oliver began to set up an appointment. 

He nodded. It was all he felt he could do. If he opened his mouth, a possible word would come out that he would regret. Oliver swallowed back and took the note card from the nurse and thanked her then looked at Greg.

"Everything's okay" Was all Oliver said, making his way out of the doctors waiting room.