#Genuinely can't decide if aspec tags are appropriate here

[chill-vibes-but-rainbow-panic]

Honestly, maybe it's just the fact that I might be aspec, or that I've never been in a relationship myself, but I always find it. Really weird how people talk about their exes.

Like, I was watching a roleplay-video about two people arguing, because one of them kept getting messages from her ex, and not few people in the comments were like:

"Nah, not immediately blocking your ex is a red flag, she's a manipulator"

"If your someone's ex, you can't just go back to being friends, something will stir up"

"If my girlfriend kept her ex's messages, I'd get up and leave, too"

And these are not exaggerations, these are just paraphrased comments.

And I find it weird, because (and btw the person in the vid wasn't even responding to the ex, so those comments were even less warranted), ever time there is a story like "I broke into my ex's house and burned their furniture and planted murder evidence on them), (especially if it's a girl and her guy ex, for some reason) there are so many responses like "Yaaas queen, they deserved it 100% NTA!!!"

But like...there's also no further context. People can break up for all sorts of reasons: Friends who got into a relationship and realized they liked being friends better; partners whose life goals just ended up not matching; partners that just fell out of love; anything like that. That's no reason to immediately go scorched earth on somebody.

Hell, even if they did despise each other afterwards, people can change! They could have gotten closer again! What do you mean exes can never be friends again!!! (Probably stretching here, but it almost feels like treating romance as the highest form of relationship, meaning if it doesn't work out, no other form will)

Idk, sometimes it just feels like people immediately equate ex to 'worst person to exist on planet earth and an abuser', even if it could just mean 'person you are no longer in a romantic relationship with' and not much else

I can understand, if a new partner might be worried about being left for an older flame (because you can't really control what you worry about much), but a simple "We're not on bad terms, so we still talk" should be enough, and not this whole "but they are your EX!!!!" thing. It really depends on the individual relationship with the ex, and shouldn't be generalized this much