#He better be a good guy because I already have the quote “ You ain't got to lie Craig” from Friday going on repeat in my head"

[ororosmunroe]

I think the only thing that has made me genuinely smile and laugh recently is finding out that Ororo is dating a nigga named Craig.

Like, whaaat?

Sure he's an astronaut and is probably really smart but the name Craig just tickles me for some reason.

Ororo and Craig...

[calisources]

CW'S   SUPERNATURAL   SENTENCE   QUOTES.   all   sentences   have   been   taken   from   mostly   the   kripke   era   (season   1   to   season   5)   of   erik   kripke's   supernatural,   mainly   season   four   and   five.   change   names/pronouns/locations   as   you   see   fit.

SEASON FOUR .

If you're going to shoot, shoot! Don't talk!

Please. Dean, maybe angels can pull you out of Hell but no one can do that.

So, you guys are like Mulder and Scully or something, and the X-Files are real?

It was beauty that killed the beast.

Anna may have sent the angels to the outfield, but sooner or later, they're gonna be back.

I suppose some dumb bastard stood here, felt a jolt of his holy juice and thought 'I'm going to build me a nun factory.' Well, it was the right idea... wrong angel.

Tell me something. Where's God in all this?

I'm not sure if he's my brother any more. If he ever was.

Are you under the impression that family's supposed to make you feel good? Make you an apple pie, maybe? They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family.

If you walk out that door, don't you ever come back.

You don't know me. You never did, and you never will.

Congrats, Sammy. You just bought yourself a benchwarmer seat to the Apocalypse.

I serve Heaven, I don't serve man. And I certainly don't serve you.

Forever. The demons will never stop. You can never be with your family. So, you either get as far away from them as possible. Or you put a bullet in your head, And that's how you keep your family safe.

You know I finally get why you and dad butted heads so much. You two are practically the same person. 

I mean I worshipped the guy, y'know: I dressed like him, I acted like him, I listened to the same music. But you are more like him than I will ever be. I see that now.

Okay, so basically you're saying that every movie monster, every nightmare that I've ever had, that's all real.

He's a Winchester. He's already cursed.

It was too preposterous. Not to mention arrogant! I mean, writing yourself into the story is one thing, but as a prophet? That's like M. Night level douchiness.

Uriel's the funniest angel in the garrison. Ask anyone.

 I'm not a hero, I'm not strong enough.

 I know our fate rests with you.

I couldn't break him, pulled out all the stops, but John, he was made of something unique. The stuff of heroes. 

You need to learn how to manage a damn devil's trap.

Tell me something, geniuses. Even if you do break into the Veil and you find the Reaper. how are you going to save it?

SEASON FIVE.

The only thing you're going to see out there is Michael killing your brother.

I'm gonna rip you apart from the inside out. Do you understand me?

No doubt - endings are hard. But then again... nothing ever really ends, does it?

You try to tie up every loose end, but you never can. 

Dean, even for you, this is a whole new mountain of stupid.

Sorry if it's a bit chilly. Most people think I burn hot. It's actually quite the opposite.

Well, I got to ask. How old are you?

As old as God. Maybe older. Neither of us can remember anymore. Life, death, chicken, egg. Regardless - at the end, I'll reap him, too.

That's the beauty about improv, Sammy. You never know what's gonna come out of your mouth.

You are not the burnt and broken shell of a man that I believed you to be.

World's gonna end, seems silly to get all precious over one little soul.

Why? Because Crowley said so? Because we trust him now?

You think you own the planet? What gives you the right?!?

No one gives us the right. We take it.

You're not my father. And you ain't in my shoes. 

I mean, whatever happened to personal loyalty? How long have I worked for these guys. Five millennia? Six?

 It's funnier in Enochian.

 This creature has the power to take a human's form, read minds. 

And you think you know better than my father? The one unimportant little man. What makes you think you get to choose?

 It's a plan that is playing itself out perfectly. Free will's an illusion, Dean. That's why you're going to say yes.

Think of the million random choices that you make--and yet how each and everyone of them brings you closer to your destiny.

As it is in Heaven, so it must be on Earth. One brother has to kill the other.

Well, call it personal experience. Nobody gets that angry unless they're talking about their own family.

You know why God cast me down? Because I loved him. More than anything.

Now, tell me... does the punishment fit the crime? Especially when I was right? 

 Look at what six billion of you have done to this thing, and how many of you blame me for it?

Honestly, people don't need a reason to kill each other. I mean, you seen the Irish? They're all Irish.

[ratwife77]

Just my opinions on S.E. Hinton novels- and the fandom

If you disagree, I’d love to hear, I enjoy seeing new perspectives! (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ONLY ON TEX, THE OUTSIDERS, AND RUMBLE FISH BECAUSE I DON’T WANT SPOILERS FOR OTHERS I HAVEN’T READ!) also please click off if you don’t want to hear any criticism on fandom stuff, and prepare for disjointedness

spoiler warning for Tex, The Outsiders and Rumble Fish

The Outsiders: reading rating- 8.5 (I really didn’t care enough to pay attention to the little things till the end because I read this for class and therefore already had a vendetta against it, so I’d give it a better rating now probably but..) book rating- 9.99 (I never rate things ten and I will stand by this.)

I cried, for like 10 minutes, and I don’t cry. It was very impactful, and it gave me more exposure to characters that are not justified, but understandable. (Cough cough Dallas). He also was destroyed by Johnny’s death, which I thought was interesting. I think of him as brittle- looks hard, but he’s been through enough and can just snap. He sees Johnny as someone who could be like him, but he doesn’t want that for him. Quote:"’Johnny, I ain't mad at you. I just don't want you to get hurt. You don't know what a few months in jail can do to you. Oh, blast it, Johnny,’" ... "’you get hardened in jail, I don't want that to happen to you.’” He wants the best for him, but he’s misguided sometimes, as shown by:“You'd better wise up Pony… you get tough like me and you don't get hurt. You look out for yourself and nothing can touch you”(147). He wants them to be able to be not like him, but not hurt either. He’s a bad person, but bad people can still be able to care for others. It also felt like certain characters were very well fleshed out- Johnny, for example, was not just some kicked puppy. He had his moments, and he’s one of the bravest characters I’ve ever read about, despite his FLANDERIZATION by the fandom. Also Cherry was so accurate with the quote “‘No,’" Cherry said slowly, looking at me carefully, "’not innocent. You've seen too much to be innocent. Just not... dirty.’” This applies to Ponyboy and Johnny. It also implies that others are dirty, and it just shows that they are special, and they can be better than products of their terrible environment. Impacted, but not tarnished, because they’ve made the choice not to be. It makes Ponyboy’s breaking the bottle at the end all the more impactful- he could be dirty. He could be Dallas. But when he picks up the pieces, that’s what Cherry saw and who he can be. That’s who Johnny wanted him to be. And quick commentary on Soda- he’s not dumb. He’s very smart, really. He’s their glue, and he knows how to talk to Pony. He is emotionally intelligent as well, and he can work on cars. You have to have some degree of intelligence to do that. Steve. He didn’t exactly get fleshed out well, if I’m being honest. He had more potential, but I don’t think he’s the worst character ever. I don’t even dislike him. Darry, Darry, Darry. He shows how one person can be crushed with stress and anxiety, and can lash out uncharacteristically. He’s not a bad guy, but good people can do bad things. I think it takes maturity to see this, and I don’t blame the people that don’t. Everyone can have their own take, but I would assume that people that think this are among the younger fans. Darry also shows that sometimes our perspectives can be warped- we can feel unloved, but that doesn’t mean it’s true. Feelings are important, but they aren’t necessarily right all the time. And guys I despise Bob but I love what he did for the book. When children don’t have barriers, guidelines, they can feel unsafe and like they aren’t cared for. I think this was the case. He pushed and pushed until it just spilled over. Got into drinking, and that just led to things escalating, until his death. Oh- Two-Bit! I think he is mature in certain ways but decides not to act that way. He contributes by making jokes, but he’s more than that. He cares for Pony and Johnny, and he was willing to look all over for them. You know, I wish there was more of him.

next: Tex: reading rating- 7.5 (I didn’t know what was going on sometimes because it was so jumbled but fast paced) book rating- 5 (it had less meat than other books I’m just saying, it lacks some of the substance and relies on action)

I knew in the back of my head when the Outsiders was written, but I thought this was its precursor. It simply isn’t as well written. It feels jumbled and actually episodic. But it certainly kept me hooked. I think the reason I finished it was because I could see parallels between it and The Outsiders. I just wanted more of that, and this doesn’t stand as strong on its own. Mason and Tex are like a less traumatized Dallas mixed with Pony and Darry but with something else sprinkled in. I liked seeing his shenanigans, and I was SCREAMING when he got shot, when he jumped the creek, and all of that. I was terrified for him. That’s what I really admire about Hinton- she makes you feel the characters in a special way. I wish there was an actual fandom for this though. It was pretty decent and could be improved upon. But it may be for the best that it is not that well liked, because I don’t know if I’d even tolerate anything out of character because I just don’t love the characters as much, so I wouldn’t deal with it because I don’t need to see more of them.

Rumble Fish- reading rating: 5 book rating: 9

this may be a hot take but I’d like a book from Motorcycle Boy’s perspective. I actually did not like reading it but I love the book. Let me explain. I felt like very little was going on at a time, and nothing was happening. But at the end, it really didn’t make sense until I was fully done and had taken a day or so to think. The ending is something special. His transition into being like Motorcycle Boy, being separate from the world, hit me so hard. How the hell did she even write this??? It seems so wack, but it’s something I relate to. I have plenty of friends, but I just feel off, like I’m singular and uninvolved. I have friends, but I don’t, and I could deal without them, because I’ve never belonged anyway, and I’ve grown accustomed to it. Also the very very end where it loops is incredible because it gives so little information at the beginning, but it makes so much sense at the end. But anyway I don’t have much to say on this sorry

okay judge me now 👍

[acaplaya-musings]

Voiceplay Visuals: Hellfire

As IF I was ever going to skip over this video!!!!

Voiceplay's cover of Hellfire was released on the 7th of October, 2023 (being their Halloween upload for the year), and, fun fact, it was the first Voiceplay video I watched after a sort of personal "hiatus" of 1-1.5 years, where they had somehow fallen off my radar for a while (which can happen when A, you weren't originally subscribed to them and mostly just relied on the Youtube algorithm/recommended section, and B, you previously only watched videos for songs you were already familiar with (I know better now though, obviously), plus a few other random factors). Geoff's cover of Jack's Lament was the first from his channel I had seen in quite a while (thank you YouTube algorithm for actually being helpful!), and I stumbled upon Hellfire the following day. And man what a video to bring me back into the fold!

Both video and arrangement were done Layne, and although this is another "guest feature" for J None (he did 5 full-length videos with Voiceplay in 2023!), he's only a backing vocalist for most of this one. Who took lead vocals? Geoff! Apparently Layne was wanting Voiceplay to do a cover of Hellfire for quite a while, and had always envisioned Geoff as the main singer for it, but Geoff, for a long time, said no. I don't know/can't remember what his exact reasoning was; whether he just thought the song was too dark or he thought he wouldn't be able to do it justice, but obviously Layne eventually managed to persuade him (made him an arrangement he couldn't refuse, I'm guessing, because seriously this arrangement is STUNNING), and quite frankly I am forever in Layne's debt for it!

I have no estimate of how long this post might be or how much I'll actually have to say about the screencaps I share, but I'll try to make this worthwhile, and so without further ado, let's get into this!

Pretty "basic"/"simple" visuals here, but honestly that's all that's needed for this one! For one thing, the vocals/arrangement are amazing enough to shine on their own (kinda like with Nothing Else Matters), and for another thing, this may be a Disney villain song, but at the same time it's not really a "Disney Song", y'know? This ain't Friends On The Other Side, or Poor Unfortunate Souls, or Be Prepared; this is a song about deep internal conflict, "burning desire", and attempts to suppress said burning desire, which only leads to more trouble. This is a villain song taken completely seriously, and boy oh boy do Voiceplay nail it!

(I feel like I should also mention that I've never actually watched The Hunchback Of Notre Dame, but I know the characters, I know the story, and this song speaks for itself tbh.)

I mean of course all the guys understood the assignment for this one but Cesar really Understood👏The👏Assignment!👏

I can't believe I'm having one of my "hang on a minute-" moments on freaking Hellfire of all videos, but somehow I never noticed the purple gemstone ring that Eli is wearing here before now! (And Cesar is wearing a red gemstone ring as well, which I only just spotted in a previous shot).

Yep, Layne's got a gemstone ring on as well!

I'm guessing J has got a matching ring as well, but I'm fairly certain Geoff doesn't, because he's got this gemstone necklace instead, which of course helps to further identify him as the lead vocalist/"main character" in this one.

(And even though Voiceplay seem to wear black/dark colours a fair bit (and Geoff does a lot), I still really freaking love the costuming in this video. They all look so good!!!!!)

Yep, there it is! J has a ring as well!

"BURN IT"

((If you've been reading/paying attention to all my Voiceplay Visuals posts, you might have picked up that usually, Geoff is the only one who gets bold font for quotes, but I'm more than willing to make an exception this time, because goddamn))

"This fire in my skin"

The way he looks down at his hands and arms as if feeling himself changing, as if there really are flames coursing right underneath the surface of the skin!!!!

"This burning desire, is turning me to s i n"

Not here to make fun or tease this time, certainly not! Geoff did a fantastic acting job in this one, and his delivery of every single vocal line was just absolutely *chefs kiss*

Everyone else was brilliant in this too, and Cesar absolutely had some attention-grabbing moments of his own! 😄

The "it's not my fault!" section of the song is really cleverly done here imo. (it's technically visual as well! I can talk about it!) It gives other members a bit more of a chance to shine, in a song which (aside from the Latin chanting in the background) is only meant to be a one-man performance. And the video (arrangement included) does this by turning Layne, J, Eli, and Cesar into a sort of Greek Chorus, or more specifically, a "singing chorus" (yes, that's a real thing, which I learned about when I was double-checking to see if I actually remembered the correct meaning of Greek Chorus). Singing choruses are sometimes incorporated into musical theatre and grand opera, and are "used frequently to interpret the mental and emotional reactions of the principal characters, after the manner of a Greek chorus." And while Eli and Cesar are taking over the lead for this bit here, Geoff becomes a little bit more subdued, head slightly bowed, just doing some little self-conducting hand movements as he holds down the bassline (I'm assuming, though I can't really hear him at all in the background until his arpeggios(?) when J takes over (look, sometimes you really can't fully describe/talk about what's happening on screen without talking about the audio that goes with it!!!))

Cesar with the sick air guitar! (Not all reactors seemingly noticed this moment, which is a damn crime tbh (you can actually see him doing it in the group shot just a few seconds before this too, though that part I myself didn't pick up on till just now))

I can't remember seeing a single reaction video (out of the ones I've watched at least) that actually figured out who the Guard was, even though it's in the description of the video! (Though I guess those who were watching from Patreon have more of an excuse). It's Tony! (Also, this means that this video featured 4 "generations" of Voiceplay baritones - Layne, Tony, J, and Cesar!)

I've heard one or two reactors say they wish they could have seen the guard's face, but nah, I don't think it's necessary. He's there to provide Relevant Information for progression of the plot/song/scene, and that's it! His identity is irrelevant!

(But still, shoutout to Tony!)

"what" (hhhhhh)

"I'll find her,"

"I'll find her and I'll find her if I have to burn down all of PARIS!"

(He did so well! <3 <3 <3)

At first when I watched this video I was like "wow I really love this video, but should I like this video so much? Considering the context/meaning behind the song and all that?" That lasted for like maybe a week maximum. I adore this cover and this video and I make no apologies about it!)

*swoon*

Very cool flame effect in the eyes! According to one reaction video I watched, that likely was not easy to do, but it's a great addition to the already-very-awesome video!

The zoom-out on Geoff is done brilliantly for dramatic effect here as well!

Do I even need to say it at this point? 😂😅

Well anyway, obligatory "he's so pretty!" comment

(Here's a slight shot of Cesar's ring btw)

Man I love it when he belts <3

Firstly, the absolute power and feeling that Geoff put into this, like it's absolutely amazing to watch and it delights me to no end. Secondly, I wasn't going to include that third pic above, but turns out Geoff is wearing a gemstone ring as well! (maybe more than one?) I knew he was wearing rings in the video, but I just assumed they were his wedding/engagement rings, as he pretty much always wears them in videos (unless he can't for costuming purposes), one on each hand, but now I wonder if he was in fact wearing them at all in this video?

Excuse me while I just- *muffled yelling into pillow*

As I type this, Voiceplay's cover of Hellfire is just 4,700 views away from reaching one million hits on YouTube! I hope it gets there, it certainly deserves it (and more!). (UPDATE: As of the morning of the 20th of February (AEST timezone), it's now at one million views! Can I hear a wahoo!?!) (SECOND UPDATE: and it's now at over 1.1 million, as of the 25th of March!)

It's not exactly a typical Halloween-type video for Voiceplay, no super-elaborate character costumes or coloured face/body paint, but just like practically everything Voiceplay did in 2023, this was EPIC!

But anyway, I'll be skipping over Whiskey In The Jar, and I'm not doing any posts about Christmas videos (for now), which means that I'm finally onto the first two full-length uploads of 2024! (And I really would have expected there to be a third 2024 upload by this point, but it seems we're just gonna have to keep on waiting.) Stay tuned!

[chocmoon-latte]

All of these OC ideas are GOLD. Think you can come up with some stories and or voicelines for them? Especially the fic writer and super mutant comedian, if possible.

You're in luck, because I had actually already started writing down some descriptions for them. They were extremely brief initially, but since you asked, I decided to extend on them and add some quotes, just to get a better feel of the characters.

Ryder Warren - Eccentric raider

Ryder always knew he was destined for great, whatever the definition of it may be. A happy-go-lucky and seemingly sweet guy, it's hard to imagine that he was ever a raider. He initially joined up a local group after coming across a poorly written flyer headlining "raiders wanted" and mistook the word "raider" as a misspelling of his own name. Ryder saw this as a sign of his destiny, thus furthering his own perceived greatness, and he joined immediately.

Ryder is agile, great with close combat weapons, and a skilled technician. There's just one little quirk of his that sets him apart from the rest though - he talks to animals. Not in the "aww, aren't you cute" kinda way either. No. He full on converses with them. You see, Ryder has a very special ability - or so he claims to. He believes he's like an animal psychic of the sorts and that he can translate even the smallest noise from a creature into intelligible language.

Although humorous at first, the schtick got old quickly with the raider gang, who have recently decided to send him out on a "great and epic quest" alone through the wastes.

Quotes:

"People think I take too many chems, but I ain't even seen a chem before! Do you have ANY IDEA what Mr. Mittens would say if such a thing were true?!"

"Hold up! I'm getting an incoming message from this deathclaw. He's saying… oh my god! Why would you say that? That's HORRIBLE!"

"Did you know if a dog jumps up and down three times, spins around and then barks, it's a sign of distress. What do you mean I made that up? That's completely factual!"

"Yeah, I'm on a quest of epic proportions. That's what you get when you're a super cool guy like me."

Ghastly - Edgy ghoul

Ghastly is younger than most ghouls but has still progressed past the average human lifespan. He mostly keeps to himself but can often be found purposefully throwing himself into extreme and dangerous situations in an attempt to get his kicks. More often than not, he's unsatisfied with life. Not because he hates it, but because he's "already seen it all", and according to him "a ghoul gets bored at some point".

So what's a ghoul to do? Ghastly's current interests are set on doing the wildest, most thrilling thing a ghoul can do - go feral. Regardless of what those around him say. In his mind, it's the next step towards killing dullness and the occasional seasonal depression. However, some people have speculated that he's just wanting an excuse to be violent without fully taking the blame for his actions.

Quotes:

"Ryder tried to set me up on a date with a mole rat once. Took me about 45 minutes before I could explain to him why that was a bad idea."

"There's a certain kinda joy you get outta drinking a rat poison, snake venom cocktail that a human just wouldn't understand."

"Every few years, I like to switch up my moral code to keep things interesting. Spice things up, if you will."

"If god's real, then why'd he remove all my sick tattoos in the ghoulfication process?"

Mr. Shady - Suspicious robot

Mr. Shady is a unique Mr. Handy unit that was designed with the task of espionage in mind. His personality is a combination of hundreds of hours of being trained on spy movies, as well as his modified core programming. He spends a lot of his time quite literally hiding amongst the shadows and handing out weird notes to people in secret.

Mr. Shady has a bad habit of giving out veiled threats towards people, regardless of if they're good, bad, young or old. Even if you're on his side and he's on yours, expect regular disturbing messages from him.

Quotes:

"The names Mr. Shady, but my friends call me Shades. Too bad they all died under mysterious circumstances…"

"If you ever feel lonely, just know I'm always watching… with all three eyes."

"No matter how far away you are, I'm always thinking about you and all the unfortunate things that could potentially happen to you in a less than hundred-meter radius while your back is turned."

Humor Bone - Super mutant stand-up comedian

There's two things Humor Bone loves more than anything else in the world - funny jokes and humans dying. So he combined the two in his life long pursuit of happiness, laughter and death. If there is a stage, he is on it every chance he gets.

Humor Bone believes it's his overwhelming charisma and sense of humor that makes him so likable and compels whatever bar or restaurant that is open to let him perform. Reality is though, people are just too afraid of him to say no. Especially when the punchline of the jokes are always about some guy brutally dying. Everyone's too scared to tell him to get off the stage or move him from the premises, so people around him are always stuck listening in horror at whatever kind of joke he comes up with next.

Quotes:

"Why the long face? Just think about humans exploding in the sun! That always makes Humor Bone feel better!"

"Why did the human cross the road..? HE DIDN'T! HE WAS SMASHED BY CAR!!! HAHAHAHA!"

"Humor Bone needs new material, but killing would be bad publicity stunt. Unless…"

Addie Jaxon - Anxious author

Born and raised in NCR territory, Addie left to pursue her lifelong dream of being an author, though she refuses to ever show anyone what she writes unless it's selling material. Rumour has it she went AWOL after a couple of her close friends in the republic came across one of the stories she wrote about a forbidden love between a human and a ghoul and it's haunted her ever since, so much so that she's cut ties from everyone altogether.

She goes by the pen name "AJ" and sells personalized poems and short stories to people on her travels, each of which are beautifully written, but her real passions lie within the sappy love stories she hides in her book underneath her pillow every night.

Quotes:

"Does no one care about art anymore? Or the little things in life? Because I do! Like... a lot."

"Hey, don't touch my books! They're full of REALLY boring stuff. Like uh… science and math homework and… Oh. Right. I'm an adult and I never went to school."

"I wish MY life was like a forbidden, tragic love story! Ok, that's a lie. But hey, in theory I do."

"I really need to put myself out there if I wanna make a living out of what I do, but I'm worried about how many people would be able to trace me back to... that time."

The Codney Brothers - Creepy cowboy duo

Rodney and Todd Codney are identical twin brothers who insist on being together at all times and often speak in riddles, sometimes finishing each other's sentences. A lot of what they say is nonsensical and often has little to no relation to the conversation at hand. What's worse that is their constant unnatural smiles on their faces. What do they know? Do they have something sinister planned? A dark past? Or are they just like that for shits and giggles?

Quotes:

"We're Rod and Todd. The Codney brothers. Just like the cod fish. And a knee. What a peculiar sight."

"What has hands but can't clap?"

"A cowboy rode into town on Friday. Two days later he left on Friday. How odd indeed."

EDIT: Forgot to add in the last pair! I'm so tired today.

[jovialjuggernaut-draws]

“There’s people outside who look like they want your head on a platter.” “Aww jealous?”

May I please have some riddlejokes 🙏

I will take any verse given

"There're people outside who look like they want your head on a platter."

"Aw, jealous?"

Jokes had to bite down on his tongue to keep the laughter from spilling out (unsuccessfully)(he could tell, because the little guy looked absolutely hilarious, all frowny and red-faced)(like a tomato left out in the sun too long)(that had also gotten a frowny face drawn on it in sharpie).

"What the hell were you thinking?!" Eddie yelled at him, flailing his arms like he was trying to look all big (definitely didn't work, the guy was, what, five foot? Harley-sized, anyway). "I thought you had a fucking plan! There was a reason you asked for my damn help, wasn't there?!"

"Of course there was!" Jokes cackled, unable to hold it back with his mouth open, even if it made Eddie get even redder. "Needed someone little to fit in the box! Couldn't find Harley, still had your number, problem solved!"

"To fit in the- Fuck you!" Eddie snapped, flinging his dumb little hat to the floor, where the poor thing got a big dent. (HA! Like Harvey Dent?! Oh, that was a good one, he should remember that for later)(Didn't know how he'd get the guy somewhere he could fling him but it'd still be a good joke if he could pull it off)(and wasn't that half the fun, anyway?) "I can't believe- If you didn't already have a fucking plan, isn't that more reason to actually use my damned help?!"

Oh, yeah! Eddie was a Plans Guy! A Brainiac! A Thinky Geeky! A regular ol' Smarty Farty! He did the puzzle thing, with the tricks and the traps and the clues- wait. Didn't his plans always fuck up? Because of the clue thing?

"Sorry, Eddie. You've just got no comedic timing," Jokes taunted, another burst of laughter spilling out of him at Eddie's angry little face.

"Are you fucking kidding me?! You'd rather be trapped in a fucking standoff with the goddamn GCPD inside a baseball cap warehouse- the worst place for improvised weapons I've ever been trapped in, by the way- than let me lend a hand because- and I quote- I don't have comedic timing?!"

"Uhh, yeah," Jokes confirmed, not entirely sure why he needed to. Pranking the cops by having Eddie pop out of a hat box and then getting trapped in what was essentially a giant hat box- how was he missing the obvious humor in this?

"Fine. Okay. Fine. I can fix this. I'm good at fixing- Stay here. I'm going to get us out of this," Eddie ordered (looking SO silly)(all pompous and tiny)(like a little girl playing princess)(if that little girl was wearing the ugliest suit on earth and was also a gay adult man)(the pose and expression were exactly the same, though).

Eddie ran off, disappearing around the shelves of hats and boxes, further into the warehouse. Jokes wondered when Eddie would figure out the place was used by their good pal Hatter, and not only had a weapon stockpile on hand but several extra exits. He hoped it wouldn't be too long, because then the punchline would get ruined. Timing is everything in comedy, after all. Damn, Jokes should have dragged the clock guy into this one. He'd probably be better at this than Eddie-

"Wait a fucking second-" Eddie's voice drifted across the aisles. Jokes sauntered over, ready to appear over his shoulder just at the right moment. "Is this Jervis's fucking- FUCK!" Eddie screeched, startled by Jokes' sudden appearance (HA! Perfect timing! What was he just saying- well, thinking, really. Whatever).

"Hey, look, you found the door. Ain't there a riddle about that?"

Eddie rolled his eyes, even though Jokes had tried throwing him a bone, and stomped his way over to the secret tunnel. "Where does this lead?"

Ugh. So slow. Jokes slapped his ass as he passed, ducking into the passage himself. If Eddie was going to be a pussy-cat about it, he could play with the piggies out front. "Only one way to find out!"

"H-hey! Wait for me!" Eddie whined, hurrying after him.

Good. Jokes had hoped he'd come along. He'd probably need a human shield when ol' Batsy caught up. "Anything for you, buddy," he crooned, and shut the door behind them.

[m-aster-of-spinjitzu]

orange and gold

...I just need more Cole and Vania content, they seem like they'd be great friends.

Basically it's just 'Cole goes to visit her there, they almost burn down the kitchen, and make way too many puns', lol.

Set a few months after Master of the Mountain, but before Seabound or The Island.

Also yeah, I couldn't think of a better title, sue me- I just know that they wear one of the colours at some point, so... 🤦‍♀️😂

Trigger warnings: none I think? Huh-

Also, bingo!! I really need to learn better time management, dear freaking gosh- I hope I'm not too late though? I know it's like half a day late, eek- and I was supposed to post this earlier, but I ended up literally falling asleep while writing it😂

Thank you so much Fabro, for hosting such a cool event!:D Your comments on my fics literally never fail to make my day<3. And I'm so glad that I met so many awesome, really skilled people through this event too - it's been a lot of fun working alongside y'all:D, I wish I'd had more time to interact instead of posting stuff and vanishing lol, but exams be like:////

Prompt: cooking (does baking count as cooking? I realized too late lol-) from @ninjago-bingo 's warm board.

Word Count: 2497

---

Trying to escape from killer dire-bats hadn't been on Cole's to do list today - although the mountains were kind of beautiful.

It was a bit difficult to see them while he was being dragged to his death, but hey, didn't Jay always tell them to be more positive?

That was, until he made the mistake of looking down.

Miles of snowcapped mountains touched the pastel blue sky, but he was more focused on exactly how high he was from the ground.

Great.

Trying to swing back onto the Bounty, he didn't notice a golden-winged blur shoot past the bat, almost dropping their spear in haste.

"Let my friend go, or I'll-"

"Vania?"

She throws the spear at the bird, successfully knocking one of its wings.

Huh. She must've been practicing - throwing with accuracy while flying seemed kinda difficult.

"I'm so sorry!" she replies, grabbing his arm before he fell down too. She winces at the strain on her wings, almost dropping him onto the deck. "I was supposed to come earlier, but there was an issue with one of the mines, and it took forever to-"

"There ain't anything in this world that's managed to kill me yet," he replies jokingly, checking that the autopilot hadn't been damaged. "I doubt an angry bird is going to be the first."

"Didn't you mention that you became a ghost once? Pretty sure that means you were dead-"

"Shh, that's not an important detail," he jokes.

"If you say so," she replies with a grin. "Did I mention that Chompy's been tearing down the palace flower arrangements again?"

"Send my regards to the gardener-"

"Did you just make a pun?"

"Remind me why I decided to visit you again?"

"Because you love me?" she asks stepping onto the ground as the Bounty landed gently.

"I hereby crown you as my platonic soulmate," Cole deadpans, taking her hand. "Vania and Cole-"

"Destined to annoy each other for eternity," she giggles, swinging their hands up and down. "But seriously - thanks. I don't think I realized how much work being a queen was."

"What's it like?"

"I mean - I'm glad that people trust me, and they come to me if they have a problem, but the paperwork is a nightmare. I never get to go outside anymore, I swear."

"Paperwork? Also, you just invited me here for a week. I don't wanna disturb you?"

"Nah, I cleared my schedule, don't worry. And trust me, you don't want to know. Everything requires some sort of official written thing, and it's so boring-"

"Official? But you're the queen?"

"Well, yeah, but I don't really want to change something unless it benefits the people. Not after..."

Her smile dims, eyes straying to the palace walls.

Oh- oh.

"You're nothing like him," Cole says firmly, squeezing her hand. "I mean, if you need to take a break, or you can make your job a bit easier by cutting out something unnecessary, that's just gonna help you become a better queen. You've definitely got the interests of your people at heart, and that's the most important thing, you know? And well, uh, everything seems to be going great so far - you don't have to beat yourself up over someone else's mistakes."

"Thanks," she replies softly, her smile slowly returning. "Speaking of breaks, what do you think we should do this time?"

"You could show me around the city again?"

"You've already seen everything cool," Vania giggles, skipping ahead of him. "We don't renovate much - unlike you guys-"

"Hey, it's not our fault that our city gets destroyed every few months-"

"More like every few days," she teases, tying back her golden hair. "How about we find some dragons to adopt?"

"Tempting, but where would you keep them?"

"They could sleep in my room-"

She breaks off when she notices him laughing. "What?"

"N- nothing," Cole replies, in between laughs. "Jay and I just made a bet."

"On what?"

"How many dragons you've adopted. I bet at least six, he bet fifteen."

"Well, jokes on both of you - I'm pretty sure my advisor's going to throw a fit if I show up with another one," she starts, giggling. "We've got twenty living in the palace right now."

"Twenty dragons?"

"They're so cute! You just look into their adorable little eyes," Vania pauses for breath, continuing her animated gesturing, "and you can't help but wanna hug them!"

"Oh, Jay's going to be so mad."

"Aww, I'm sorry guys. They're just too adorable!"

"...Wanna hear a funny story?"

"Yeah, sure!"

"I actually used to be terrified of dragons-"

"No way!" Vania exclaims. "Y'all have been on a lot of adventures though, so-"

"Nah, we used to have our own dragons at first. They were pretty cool! I just- I'm a simple guy! Huge animals with wings are scary up close when you're barely a teenager."

"Or when you're really short-"

"We're the same height!" Cole exclaims, facepalming in a bit of a fondly exasperated way.

"I'm two years younger than you-"

---

"Ugh, whose idea was this?"

"Yours," Vania grins, sitting down on the kitchen counter.

"You were supposed to help me, not leave me high and dry!" Cole accuses jokingly, staring at all the appliances they'd found in the cupboards.

"'One must always be prepared for new adventures,'" she quotes seamlessly, waving one of- what was his name again? Mulch something? Oh! Clutch! Some explorer he was, leaving them to die in the pyramid - Clutch Powers' books in the air.

"Fine," he sighs, staring at the old recipe book she'd found in one of their back cupboards. "But you've gotta help me? I almost burned down-" "Woah, what? If you finish that sentence with 'kitchen'-" "In my defense, Kai was playing a prank on me-" "In my defense, I wouldn't like to explain how the queen of Shintaro burnt down the palace by teaching one of her friends to cook," she grins, flipping through the pages. "What do you wanna start with?" "Something simple?" "Have you ever tried baking bread before? It's a lot of fun!" "I haven't really had the time, but that sounds kinda interesting."

He skims the recipe, raising his eyebrows. "Wait, why does this take hours? I thought you said it was simple?"

"Trust me, it is," she laughs, adding, "besides, I still wanna hear about all your adventures!" "Uh... okay," Cole replies hesitantly, "but if this fails, I'm so sorry." "Give yourself some credit, you guys literally saved the world! Multiple times!" "Bold of y'all to assume we know how we did it," he laughs, only half-kidding. "Besides. I botched soup once."

"I've botched toast," she mock-sighs, smiling. "Pretty sure that makes us even."

"Lemme get this straight. You've messed up toasting bread, but you can bake it from scratch?"

"Trust me, I don't know either," she giggles, trying to open a brightly coloured packet of... something? Did flour come in packets that small?

"Uh, why are you opening something called 'feast'?" he asks, eyebrows creased in confusion.

"Feast," she echoes, trying to stifle her laughter. "Off to a... rocky start, aren't we?"

It took him a second.

"I already regret this," he jokes, facepalming. "But I'd say that your puns are, uh, gold."

"I've un- unleashed-" breaking off, she half-falls off the counter, laughing so hard her face starts to go red, "a monster."

---

"Uh, is it supposed to look like that?" Cole asks, frowning.

The mixture looked less like the dough he'd been expecting - more like one of Jay's inventions gone wrong.

Badly wrong, he thought, eyes widening at the goopy mess of foam that threatened to spill over the jug.

"The yeast?" Vania echoes, poking her head out of one of the cupboards. "Yeah, all good! It always looks a little gross, and you're gonna doubt ever eating bread again, but at least it doesn't taste like it's fermented-"

"It's what?"

"Yeah," she grimaces, exaggerating her disgust a bit. "If aliens ever fell from the sky, they'd think we were crazy for eating bread-"

"Aliens? I think we're a bit crazy!" Cole exclaims, trying not to laugh.

Vania smiles, then sighs, lugging a huge bag of flour onto the counter. "I can never open these bags properly," she starts, eyeing the the bag a bit warily, "and it always makes such a huge mess all over the kitchen. You'd think they'd make it easier for people to use, right? I swear-"

He jokingly puts his hands over his ears. "I can't hear you!" "But you know that I've sworn off swearing-" she replies, breaking off with a laugh. "Pun not intended - that actually made sense in my head. I swear!"

"No," Cole interjects with a grin, shaking his head. "You don't, remember?"

"See, this is why we're friends-"

"Friends? Is that all I am to you?"

"Oh, be quiet," she shoots back, exaggeratedly dragging a hand down her face. "I mean, sure, just because everyone thinks that we're dating doesn't mean that we-"

Wait. What?

"People think that we're dating?" he asks, clamping a hand over his mouth in a poor attempt to muffle his laughter. "I- I- really?"

"I know, right?"

"Even my friends thought so at first," he confesses, dragging a hand down his face. "I mean, as much as I love you-"

"I love you too," Vania replies, completely seriously. "Even if you'll always be more like an annoying-"

"Hey-"

"Sibling to me than anything else," she finishes, grabbing a pair of scissors. Cole watches, a little alarmed, as she stabs them into the flour bag over and over.

"Is it... supposed to be this difficult to just open the bag? Seems kinda stupid-"

"Well, er, they have this piece of paper with glue that you're supposed to pull away from the rest of the bag, but it never works properly and I-"

"Well, we could always make our own flour," Cole interjects, laughing. "I mean, I've got a scythe? Let's go!"

"Uh, but we don't have wheat growing here. I don't think it'd suit the climate very well?"

"Wheat a shame," Cole sighs jokingly, measuring out the flour (which had, finally, escaped the bag).

"Oh my gosh," Vania deadpans, "you did not just-"

"Yep, I did."

"You're horrible," she giggles, "then again, I was the one who started this whole debacle, so I think we'll share the blame."

"Debacle? Where'd you pick that one up from? Sounds kinda cool-"

"Oh, it's from a book someone wrote about you guys," Vania says casually, pouring a cup of water into the bowl.

"Hey, uh-" Cole starts hesitantly, twisting his fingers back and forth, then breaks off. "Why'd you read all that stuff about us, anyways? Adventure books don't really seem like something you read a lot, since we have similar favorite books. I mean..."

"Well, um..." Vania trails off, clearly uncomfortable. "Uh- I guess, well, it sounds kinda stupid, but I'd never really met anyone my age who wasn't a royal or something. I... er, I didn't want to be left out, you know?"

Cole thinks back to a scroll; a quest, a sacrifice. One that his friends never seemed to really notice, unless it was with horror or flinches. Not that he blamed them, but - joking about how he was much more useful to the team when he was freaking dead than he was before he'd stumbled and fell in the temple?

That had been a bit far, even for his best friend. Locks could always be picked or something, he didn't need to be a ghost to provide some sort of value-

Well, that's not completely true, is it? a small voice questions, and he can't keep his hands from shaking a little.

"Jay here thinks you're the least valuable ninja."

Not enough to be a performer. Now, not good enough to even be a ninja, apparently.

Well, he reminds himself firmly, you don't have to be the best - just stand up to those who are cruel and unjust.

Nothing but a scar that glowed warm orange occasionally left of the whole Cursed Realm ordeal, sometimes it was all too easy to forget - or pretend - that it had never even happened in the first place.

Other times, like when he'd dropped a glass of water on the floor and his hands hadn't stopped shaking for hours, or when he woke up screaming, expecting to fall through his bed again, it still felt like he was trapped as a ghost. Literally - and maybe a little figuratively as well.

Yeah. Yeah, I know.

"Thanks for trusting me with that," he replies softly. "And I'm sorry. That sounds... horrible, but, honestly, you're a pretty cool person, and I ain't just saying that because we're friends. People can be awful, and they can- they can leave, but you don't need to pretend to be someone you're not for people to accept you. I kinda know what it's like, and it's... just, uh, not great."

"No, thank you," Vania says, rubbing her eyes. "You're pretty cool, too. And I'm glad that we become friends, even if wasn't in the- the, er, greatest circumstances."

"Right back at ya. The fall was pretty terrifying, though," Cole says casually, as if memories of that nightmarish plunge into the depths of earth don't still send shivers down his spine.

"No, definitely! I was so sure we were gonna splat onto the ground or something, thank gosh we didn't."

"Yeah..." Cole trails off, reading the recipe they'd been following. "Oh- do we just leave the bowl somewhere for a few hours now?"

"Oh, yeah," Vania answers. "Other than clean up the kitchen, what else do you wanna do?"

"That's kind of you, but, ah, I don't mind. You can choose something."

"I don't mind either," she replies, covering the bowl with a dishcloth. "Seriously, I don't."

"Same here though."

"Really, I don't mind-" Vania breaks off with a laugh, adding, "Well, actually, there is something."

She doesn't elaborate, thoughtfully gazing out the window.

"Well, what is it? Don't keep me in the dark."

"Ugh, it's kinda stupid-"

"I'm sure that it's not- well, unless you want to try to jump off a flying ship with a homemade parachute to prove a bet to someone-"

"Do I even wanna know?"

"...uh, probably not. We're way too crazy sometimes, our Master has a hard time keeping us in check. Your thing, though?"

"Can I give you a hug?"

Cole blinks for a second, expecting some sort of punchline.

"That's your thing?"

"Well, yeah- I mean, I said it was kinda stupid-"

"No no, that's not what I meant. You're so sweet - that's all."

"Well, not more than you-"

"Nah, you're sweeter-"

"Let's just call it a tie," Vania says with a smile, reaching over to give her friend a hug. "Thank you so much, I swear- well, no, I don't, but you know, anyways-"

"Yeah," Cole replies, laughing softly. "I know."

[hasquetzorkukudoneanythingwrong]

Interview

BB: welcome back everyone! So good to see you all here today! We're back for a 3rd time here on BB Channel! Like before we're joined by the lil cuties of Ed and Mari. But this time their parents have come to join!

Rex: hello...

Quetz: Hola!

BB: that wasn't a very strong greeting Rex!

Rex: I'm tired right now. Can't this wait?

BB: time waits for no one and neither does BB!

Mari: already this is super annoying! *sigh* so why'd you decide to bring them into this anyways?

BB: the people who follow this blog need to see how they're doing so long after Chaldea too! You two have had the spotlight for a while, so now you should share.

Ed: I mean... guess that's fair.

Mari: should anyone be dealing with this?

Rex: I'd rather not be here either.

BB: aaaww, don't be like that! This will be fun!

Quetz: that's a very hard sell BB.

BB: just humor me at least.

Rex: ...fine

Quetz: what are we even doing anyways?

BB: some of your interdimensional buds have sent in questions about how you guys are doing, and I'm here to get those answers for them!

Quetz: that actually sounds nice...

BB: what'd I tell ya!?

Rex: yeah yeah, pls get started.

BB: fine. First few are from my precious bombardier beetle! First one she asks: do you have any pets?

Mari: oof! Do we!

Rex: currently we have four dogs: 1 German Shepherd named King, a Pitbull named Sparks, a Dogo Argentino named Duke, and a Corgi named Marshmallow.

Quetz: but also we have a habit of adopting older dogs who aren't likely to get a home because of their age or rescues to give them a nice place to stay.

BB: aaawww, well ain't that wholesome?

Mari: we also have mom's bigass pterosaur!

BB: less wholesome. Next one from my dear yellowjacket: favorite foods?

Rex: PIZZA!

Mari: CAKE!

BB: whoa! Pump the brakes you two! No need to get too excited!

Quetz: ...honestly? I don't really have a favorite food. Just a bunch I like to eat and some I don't. If I had to choose, I'd say chocolate.

Ed: I'm a steak man myself.

BB: 2 sweets, and 2 savories. Next up! Who wakes up earliest?

Rex: Quetz

Ed and Mari: Mom

Quetz: ...I guess it's me... hehehe.

BB: honestly I'm not surprised. She's so damn athletic and even used to be a professional.

BB: next! Where do you all like to go for vacations and such?

Ed: mom and dad have a vacation home in Alaska.

BB: Alaska?! Why?

Mari: when warm weather is the norm for you it's nice to go to the cold to change things up.

Rex: yeah, it's actually very nice. Not too many people and beautiful nature sights.

BB: well to each their own. Another from my dear antlion: how long does it take to pick a movie or TV show to watch?

Quetz: hehehe, we're all so indecisive it takes ages to pick. It's not uncommon for us to give up after taking so long.

BB: you should work on that. This next one's interesting. My precious army ant also suggests a round of common household jobs and the like from each member.

Rex: hmmm

BB: she gave an example of like, who does the cooking?

Quetz: well it's both me and mi amor in that case. The kids aren't very creative.

Ed: hey! We're plenty creative!

Mari: no we're not, don't lie.

Rex: we only really ask that the kids clean their rooms and any messes they make. We handle most everything else.

BB: they should really show some independence tho. Can't coddle them forever.

BB: in the next one, Cadence asks about a house tour and if there's a jacuzzi.

Quetz: a house tour feels like it should be it's own thing.

Rex: yeah, but we do have a jacuzzi dude, so don't worry.

BB: next one's from Reen: she asks what would life be if you weren't in chaldea,

Rex: y'mean like now? I mean... it's a relatively normalish domestic life? With less work tho.

Quetz: si, I've made plenty from my lucha career before retirement we don't have to worry about money much. But mi amof still makes money just in case.

BB: well after that she asks: how was your life before and after meeting each other?

Rex: ...kinda sad. Aside from chaldea and saving the world, I was kinda just... stagnant. Go to work, go home and so on. Not much to my life before then.

Quetz: ...honestly, for me it was the same. After the age of Gods ended we didn't do much of anything. We mostly watched over humanity, I've been summoned in modern day before but that was rare and infrequent.

Rex: ...after I met Quetz tho... I dunno things felt... better? She kinda forced her way into my life after I summoned her and... I was more then ok to accept her... before long we had something beautiful...

Quetz: aww, mi amor! I'm so happy to hear that!

BB: ain't that sweet? Like me and my dear centipede. Final one from Reen: if you could build a dream home then where? (Can be in fantasy)

Rex: I mean... where we are now is good.

Mari: yeah, right at the border of a huge rainforest in the Yucatan sounds fine.

Ed: but what about the fantasy bit?

Quetz: hmmm... we don't really look at fantasy much. But maybe a castle of some kind?

Rex: or a Mayan temple? But with electricity and Wi-Fi.

BB: that's fair. Need those memes in your life. Now some from Kaz! First she asks: what kind of gifts do you give each other?

Rex: uuhh, well I like getting mi corazon custom things. Like some personal clothes, or even a portrait of the two of us.

Quetz: ehehehe, I like to spoil mi amor with extravagant things! Golden treasure and the like!

Mari: concerning...

BB: next, how would you spend the day if it's raining outside?

Rex: I actually enjoy rainy weather, so I like to chill near a window or even on the porch listening to the rain.

Mari: it's very soothing.

BB: how quaint. Last one from Kaz: whose good at cooking and baking?

Quetz: hehehe, that'd be me. Tho it might be considered cheating since I use my goddess power to help.

Mari: well no one else is the greatest normally so it's fine.

BB: a good 'ol better then nothing kinda attitude! Now we're back to Cadence but with more relaxed questions: what's the current house look like?

Rex: ....big.

Mari: like three stories tall with a DEEP basement.

Ed: like... 5 rooms too many.

Quetz: we also have an indoor pool.

Rex: the outside looks almost gothic, but partially taken over by nature.

BB: all this near a rainforest?

Quetz: si! Despite the size, all the nearby trees still tower over it.

BB: nature can get scary. I've seen worse and have been worse but still. Another one: how do family events function? Any specific holidays?

Quetz: ...most family events are just us... going somewhere nice to eat nice food...

Rex: do they mean bringing extended family? My family lives too far to visit often

Quetz: ...and I'd rather not speak of mine... things have gotten rocky as of late.

Mari: right, well for holidays we celebrate most standard one, like Easter and valentine's and such. For October we kinda try to combine Halloween and Day of the dead.

Ed: but Christmas is the most important for us! Mom and Dad always make the biggest celebrations for Christmas!

BB: gotta love the holidays! Especially when your mom is santa... still weird to say that. Next one! Any plans for the future?

Rex: eh... not really? I mean I want to prepare Maria to continue the family magecraft, since Ed has no interest.

Mari: someone has to continue on this lost practice.

BB: good to know it won't be lost to time like we thought. Next one! Daily life?

Rex: I wake up, eat, work on magecraft, spend family time, spend time with Quetz, go to bed.

Quetz: I wake up, workout, eat, workout, spend time with mi familia, lovely time with mi amor and then I sleep.

Ed: I wake up, take a walk, eat, practice soccer, spend family time, sleep.

Mari: sleep, sleep again, dragged to breakfast by mom, eat, eat again, mess with magecraft, eat, sit with everyone else, scroll thru my phone for hours, sleep.

Quetz: *sigh* mija, you need to change your priorities.

Mari: mmmmm... No.

BB: bad habits there Mari. Next they'd like to know if your in contact with anyone from chaldea? Other then me!

Rex: here's a real quick list: Marie, Mash, Kiara, Penth, Astraea, Martha, Ishtar, Gorgon, Jalter, The twins, your kids BB, etc etc.

Quetz: too many to list...

BB: nice you haven't lost contact! Next! About that Wedding?

Rex: well... it was eventful to say the least. Not long after completing the china LB. Most of the servants were invited, and most of Quetz's family showed up.

Quetz: si, Martha officiated it for us. Most of my family were so nice at the time... too bad that hasn't lasted.

Rex: let's not mention that...

BB: it was such a nice wedding! You two were so "nervous" you had trouble with your vows! How adorable!

Mari: why the quotes?

BB: no reason... now we're at the home stretch! Good 'ol Ash has some for stuff that technically hasn't happened yet, but you should still be able to answer! What responsibilities will Rex take on when he joins the pantheon?

Quetz: ...well he'll be largely a guardian of life on earth. Authority over things like the jungle itself, volcanos, and even snow... for some reason.

Rex: well it still snows in mexico... occasionally.

Quetz: and we'll be sharing authority over Venus! I wanted to share it with mi amor!

BB: cute! Hmmm, not sure if you cananswer this one just yet? Adjusting to God hood?

Rex: well I got to try it out a bit. Summoning lava and snow is... interesting. But also... my mind felt... odd... but also clearer? Not sure how to put it...

BB: I'm sure when you get there you'll get it... took me a bit after servant fest. And how did the other divinities react?

BB: actually I have some recordings of that to answer, so play the clip!

A screen appears showing recordings of some servants, one at a time.

Ishtar: eh! She's turning you into a god!? ...I guess you've earned it master...

Eresh: what!? Can you do that?! ...guess I won't see you in Kur... then again I don't think you have any link to Kur anyways.

Kama: do you really think your cut out for it? I mean... if it's just for you two to be together then I guess it's fine.

Astraea: godhood is a very big responsibility master. Are you certain you're up to it? Saving humanity is also a big task but at least that has an end point. This is... eternal.

Qin: oh! So you have decided to go for immortality after all?! Tho not the same as my methods, it is still good to see you two will be happy together!

Scathach: immortality? I've strived for death for so long... to see you go for immortality... Hopefully you'll find happiness, where I couldn't...

The screen turns off.

BB: very interesting! Most seem hesitant of it all... I for one think it's cute! Imagine in a thousand years you guys have a double date with me and my dear stag beetle!

Rex: ...a thousand years...

Quetz: still having trouble processing it all?

Rex: yeah... maybe when I get there... it'll be easier.

BB: now for today's final one! A scenario! One of you two goes berserk! What does the other do to calm them down?

Rex: well that has happened before... usually a nice hug is more then good enough.

Quetz: si! I've almost destroyed a few servants a few times until mi amor caught me in a hug! I can't bring myself to harm him... so I stop!

BB: sounds too easy... but I've seen that before so... I'll let it slide.

BB: well that's all the time we have for now! Hopefully you all are satisfied by the answers! We'll be doing this again, seeya!

Screen cuts out, the show's over.

Questions provided by: @hasbbdoneanythingwrong @havetheavengersdoneanythingwrong @has-gilgamesh-doneanythingwrong @renmeo @kazmetic @grievouslyxorvia

Other tags

@haspaulbunyandoneanythingwrong @hasishtardoneanythingwrong @hasereshdoneanythingwrong @hasabbydoneanythingwrong @haskamadoneanythingwrong

[maylovexhs]

everytime - IF YOU THINK IT’S LOVE (Chp. 36)

Author’s Note: IT’S HAPPENING! I REPEAT IT IS HAPPENING! ME: *INTERNALLY SCREAMING*

Catch up on everytime here

“Fuck, no!” Y/N said. “That’s where I have to go”

I grinned, putting the letters on the board.

“It’s too late” I said.

Y/N looked at the word I spelled out. She looked a mix of disbelief and confusion.

“Austere?” Y/N asked me.

I nodded.

“Simple” I said.

Y/N shrugged, looking at her deck.

“Fine” She said. “I have something too”

Y/N took some letters off her deck and placed them on the board.

“Frazzled?” I asked her.

“You know what it means” She said.

“Actually . . . I don’t” I said.

“I’m frazzled” Y/N said. “I’m exhausted”

“I’m not” I told her. “Because of you put Z. . .”

“No” Y/N said. “Don’t you dare-“

I put some of my letters on the board, spelling zeal.

“Fuck you” Y/N pouted. “I quit. You win”

“Frazzled a little?” I asked her.

“Oh, I’m more than frazzled” Y/N said.

I smirked, shaking my head as I started to clean up the game. Y/N helped me.

I took a quick glance at Y/N as I cleaned.

I didn’t tell her yet. I wanted to but I knew I couldn’t tell her. I know yesterday I was ready to confess my heart as hers but spending today with her . . . I couldn’t do that to her.

Y/N was happy. She was happy with Ashton. I saw how her face lit up when he called her. From what I could tell, Y/N was in love. She was in love with someone who loved her back. Y/N was first my best friend. I couldn’t hurt her chance at pure happiness because of me. It would be selfish if I did. Besides, I already had my chance with her. There was no possibility she would think of me in the same way.

Lorde’s Homemade Dynamite stopped playing.  A song by Taylor Swift began to play. Didn’t know the song but I knew Taylor’s voice.

“Which song is this by her?” I asked Y/N as I closed the Scrabble box.

“Afterglow” Y/N said, getting up.

Y/N took her phone from the table. A few seconds later, she laughed at something on her phone. I smiled at her.

“Is it Ashton?” I asked her.

Y/N looked to me.

“Uh, no” She said. “Jie Lin sent me something. You want to see?”

“Should I see it?” I asked her.

“Were you on Twitter yesterday?” Y/N asked me back.

I got up from the chair, walking over to her. Y/N showed me her phone. It was a tweet.

Me passionately quoting The Office even when my coworkers don’t know what I’m talking about

Underneath the text was a picture of a cartoon character singing that was too similar but I didn’t know.

“Isn’t it that guy from-“ I began to say but Y/N cut me off.

“Monsters Inc” Y/N said.

“I don’t get it” I told her.

Y/N rolled her eyes at me.

“Nevermind” She said.

Y/N walked away from me, putting her phone in the pocket of her pants. She leaned against the balcony’s railing. She sighed, looking up at the moon.

I slowly walked over to her.

Something was wrong. I could feel it.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked her.

Y/N looked to me.

“Talk about what?” She asked.

“Y/N, I know you” I said. “You don’t need to ever pretend with me”

Y/N looked down.

“I think I have a problem” She said. “I can never be happy in a relationship”

I squinted at her.

“What do you mean?” I asked her. “Did Ashton do something?”

Y/N couldn’t do anything wrong. If anything, it’s the people she’s with who were wrong. Y/N always took a chance on people, whatever they deserve it or not. It’s one of the things I always admire about her.

“No, no” Y/N shook her head. “He’s perfect. It’s just every time I get into a relationship, I feel like I could be happier without them, or with someone else”

She isn’t happy with Ashton? I thought she was . . .

Y/N chuckled to herself.

“Sometimes I feel like a defected robot” Y/N said. “I could never appreciate someone fully until they are gone”

Y/N looked to me.

“I’m horrible, aren’t I?” She asked me.

I stepped closer to her.

“You’re not” I said. “If you don’t feel right with someone, it’s okay to leave them”

“I know that, H” Y/N said. “But Ashton is different. For once, I actually found someone good for me. I feel like I should be with him. I don’t want to risk it all for a stupid feeling”

I smiled at her.

I felt the same way. Just about her.

“What’s that smile for?” Y/N asked me.

“Oh, nothing” I said, looking down. “You just remind me of myself”

“You have the same problem as me?” Y/N asked.

“Something like that” I said. “Whenever I’m with someone, I always feel like something is wrong. Like I’m not supposed to be with them or I should be with . . .”

I looked to Y/N.

“Someone else” I said.

“Why?” Y/N asked me. “You don’t feel they complete you anymore?”

Exactly. I never felt complete with anyone except her.

“We’ve been friends for too long” I said. “You know me too much”

“Maybe” Y/N said. “But then again, I dabbled enough in astrology to know about your libra moon”

Y/N and I looked to each other.

“And?” I asked her. “What does that mean?”

“It means why my Aquarius moon just gets you” Y/N said. “We’re both two loners who can’t settle for anyone”

“You’re sure that isn’t just me?” I asked her. “You were with Felix for two years”

“But I didn’t date anyone until twenty-one because of my fear of love” Y/N said. “So, we’re tied”

The song finished to play. Y/N and I looked to the Alexa speaker on the balcony table as King Princess’ Watching My Phone came on.

And I know you, destroying things you love to save yourself

“Oh, no” Y/N said. “Not this song”

“What’s wrong with this song?” I asked her.

And I know you can't bear to see me go but make me leave

In the middle of the night

“Nothing” Y/N said. “Just this song makes me sad. Cried first time hearing it. I don’t want to cry again”

And you ain't all I've ever wanted in a package

I smiled at her.

“Really?” I asked her.

“Mhmm” Y/N nodded.

Your independence throws me off my balance

“Want to cry with me, then?” I asked her.

I put my hand out for her to take.

Watching my phone

Thinking about you, baby

Y/N looked down at my hand, hesitant to take it. She looked up to me. I smiled at her.

Watching my phone

Thinking about you

She smiled back, blushing. Instead of taking my hand, she placed her head on my chest and wrapped her arms around my neck. I wrapped my arms around her back. I closed my eyes as we began to slowly dance.

She smiled back, blushing. Instead of taking my hand, she placed her head on my chest and wrapped her arms around my neck. I wrapped my arms around her back. I closed my eyes as we began to slowly dance.

And I know I can't be the million girls you're gonna meet

And I think that's alright

I was her best friend. I was nothing more than that to Y/N. To think I am would just cause me more pain. There was no way Y/N would consider me as such. I caused her enough pain in the past to understand why she wouldn’t like me like that anymore. I rejected her for another girl. I came back and broke up with her for another girl. Now she was with Ashton. I couldn’t expect her to leave him for another guy.

I apologize, for holding you so tight you couldn't breathe

And thinking you'd be fine

Besides, it wouldn’t be fair to her. I know deep down I couldn’t make her as happy she is with Ashton now. Y/N just said so herself she didn’t want to risk her relationship with Ashton over a stupid feeling. Of course, she not going to risk it over me. It was too late for me.

And you ain't all I've ever wanted in a package

And your independence throws me off my balance

And I'm alone

But was it, really? Y/N just said she feels like she could be happier with someone else. Even if it was a small chance, I could be that someone. I could . . . right?

Watching my phone

“Your heart is beating so fast” I heard Y/N say.

Thinking about you, baby

I looked down at her. Y/N still had her head against my chest.

“What?” I asked her.

Watching my phone

“Your heart” She said, taking her head off my chest and looking up to me. “It’s beating fast”

Thinking about you, oh

“Oh” I said, blushing a little. “Sorry . . .”

Watching my phone

Y/N squinted at me, smiling.

Thinking about you, baby

“What’s wrong?” She asked me.

Watching my phone

I looked at her, afraid of what to say. I wanted to tell her I was nervous. I was nervous because I loved her and she didn’t know at all. I wanted to tell her how I couldn’t sleep at all for the last few days because all I do is think about her. I wanted to tell her that I could take away her pain and be much better to her than Ashton was. I wanted to tell her how in love I was and how it drove me crazy.

Maybe it will change but

“H,” Y/N said, staring at me with those angel eyes of hers. “You can tell me”

Watching my phone

Y/N. She always had my heart. She said I had a piece of hers too.

Thinking about you, baby

I know we haven’t had the best relationship but . . . we have something. Something rare.

Watching my phone

I loved him once and I’ll always love him. Not like that but there’s a little part of him that has my heart.

Thinking about you

You always have a special place in my heart.

Thinking about you

“Y/N” I whispered.

Thinking about you

“What?” Y/N asked me.

Maybe it will change but

I leaned down and pressed my lips against hers. I closed my eyes, cupping her cheeks.

I knew it was wrong of me but I wasn’t thinking. All I had was her on my mind. I knew Y/N would probably hate me for the rest of her life for kissing her but it was worth it. Kissing Y/N was getting to keep at least one last piece of her. It was something I could share with her no one else could have. Sure, Ashton could kiss her as much as he wanted but . . . this feeling. This was ours. No one could take that.

I slowly pulled away from Y/N. I still kept my hands on her face. I opened my eyes, seeing hers was still closed. Her lips were partly open.

“I love you” I said. “I’m sorry but . . . I needed you to know that”

Y/N opened her eyes, looking up to me. She took my hands away from her cheeks. She looked down, a little disappointed.

“I’m sorry too”

Author’s Note: Oh, hey! You made it to the end of the chapter! Yay! That was a roller coaster . . . woo. Anyways, I just finished writing the next chapter of this and I was going to wait a month to post it with other chapters but you know what? I think I’m gonna post it this Tuesday. Comment yes or just inbox me if you want it Tuesday. See ya! -May

[punkscowardschampions]

Amber & Cosmo

Amber: [okay so what if like he finds her in Dash's room obvs he's not there like lowkey ransacking it and he can either help her or walk off whatever you think he'd do and then we can do a convo after that of her being like I'm not a burglar or a bunny boiler just for your info] Cosmo: [I like it, he'd more than likely just walk-off like 😏 okay so] Amber: [that works for us cos they've seen each other so they know each other is hot but haven't spoken] Cosmo: [exactly and just set up he's not gonna deign to get involved with anything his brother/you] Amber: not a stalker but realise getting in your inbox to claim that is a defeat.... Cosmo: you either got the wrong room or wrong inbox Amber: right room to get my zip back, right inbox because you saw me hunting for it Cosmo: I'm glad Cosmo: your efforts to stop him being entirely useless are appreciated Amber: I don't rate highly for him besides 🎯 Amber: but easy mark for theft isn't a sweet identifier Cosmo: Exactly, no need to get upset Cosmo: you've got your shit back and you didn't have to interact with him again, take your wins Amber: control your emotion? is that how you're gonna talk to a girl you've just (not) met? Amber: take your chance at less....THAT....first impression Cosmo: we met Cosmo: I was the tall, athletic guy Cosmo: you were up to your waist in all the crap he has lying about, but I could just about see you over it Amber: you looked at me, you didn't meet me Amber: it would involve not keeping walking Cosmo: I'm sorry, I didn't know there was etiquette surrounding girls who just so happen to be taking back what was there's, NOT stalking and NOT stealing Cosmo: should I have offered assistance? Amber: if the idea of meeting me horrifies you more than the prospect of me leaving quicker thrills you, no help required Cosmo: I'm not part of the turndown service, sadly Cosmo: again, nothing personal Cosmo: I just have somewhere to be Amber: I didn't know it was a real hotel Cosmo: He didn't tell you? Cosmo: practically the marmont but no one cool has died here yet Amber: the in depth conversation you're picturing us having didn't happen Amber: not to make you more uncomfortable than my sudden appearance Cosmo: rest easy, I'm not picturing anything Cosmo: as I said, busy Amber: 😴👶 Cosmo: What's that meant to mean Amber: I'll sleep like a newborn, you can rest easy knowing it Amber: when you're not busy Cosmo: 😏 alright Cosmo: would hate to have you keeping me up at night, honestly, so thanks Amber: if I wake up screaming for milk I won't come & find you Cosmo: If you wake up 9 months down the like with a screaming 👶 Cosmo: I'll redirect you to the right room, free of charge Amber: can you not put a hex on me please Amber: I'm too busy myself to be carrying any 👶s Cosmo: I can promise you I wouldn't know how should I want to Cosmo: but I don't and you seem smart enough to have put your faith in something beyond magik Amber: what do those people seem like to you? Amber: I can talk in riddles all day Amber: give you a reading Cosmo: I've been assured we're both too busy for that Cosmo: but I get it, I know where you're from Amber: you know where I live Amber: that makes two of us Cosmo: I don't need to know any more than that Cosmo: do you? Amber: if you don't, I don't Amber: you don't work at the hotel and I'm not the official spokesperson for this place Cosmo: we can both agree to give the guided tour a miss Cosmo: go on then, what's your name Amber: that's a quick turnaround Amber: you didn't need to know anything because you had an idea where to leave 💌 Amber: you wanna give them the personal touch, addressed to me and signed? Cosmo: You might be used to being the hottest girl in the commune or whatever but that ain't it Cosmo: you don't wanna be spokesperson, who are you then? Amber: 😂 we don't spend our days having beauty and talent contests but if I do speak out I'll suggest it over the campfire Amber: my name isn't who I am, is yours? 🚀🌠 Cosmo: Sure being humble and selfless is in the indoctrination but give it a go Cosmo: those 20s won will all add up for you Cosmo: and I go by my last name Amber: flattery & letters, you're a patron of all the dying arts, boy Cosmo: Someone's got to Amber: valiant Cosmo: If you like Cosmo: you won't be getting the letters though, this rate Amber: don't you like compliments back? Amber: I'll use a 🖋 if you prefer Cosmo: Genuine ones, perhaps Amber: you're not too busy for genuine connection? Cosmo: awfully presumptuous for someone who only knows where I live Cosmo: touche Amber: I know your name too Amber: & what you look like Cosmo: You won't tell me yours Cosmo: it can't be much worse Amber: It's Amber and up to you how you rate it Amber: some of my roommates have it worse, or better, subjectively Cosmo: Its normal Cosmo: you won the hippie lottery Amber: but maybe I'd commit more fully if I was called Acorn Amber: love my life Cosmo: maybe you'd resent it even harder and change it to something really dull just to spite them Amber: Or go by my last name, little 🐦 told me some people do that 😏 Cosmo: Long as any siblings you've got love their stupid name Cosmo: why not, eh Amber: I don't have any Amber: officially Cosmo: Piss off Cosmo: why are you like princess of that place Amber: I have no idea what you mean Amber: if anyone is,  Lux is Cosmo: You get a normal name AND you don't have 17 brothers and sisters Cosmo: you're one of the murderers on the run then, yeah? Amber: we covered that I'm no crazy ex Amber: my dad's a teacher, he teaches the ones who don't go to school Cosmo: figures Amber: what's the equation? you haven't shown any of your working out Cosmo: exactly Cosmo: that's why you're not exactly like the others I've 👀 Cosmo: 🍎📚 Amber: are you 'not like other girls' ing me or calling me a 🤓? Cosmo: You can have 'not like other girls I've met on the landing' Amber: am I supposed to want that? Amber: maybe this is a 'ask me how many other girls I've met on the landing' lead in Cosmo: Why would you need to ask? Cosmo: compare notes around the campfire Amber: it doesn't interest me Cosmo: Gutted for him Amber: how much more flattery can I take Cosmo: Maybe a question for yourself Cosmo: definitely not for me Amber: you're offering it up Amber: you're not gonna question that? Cosmo: I've got manners Cosmo: you can question why that's so shocking to you but I ain't gonna put a downer on your day now you got your bag of sunshine back Amber: the answer is because if you had manners you wouldn't have run away from me when I was going feral on your brothers belongings Cosmo: I don't owe his stuff any more than I owe you Cosmo: there's manners then there's involving yourself in business that ain't yours Cosmo: which is rude, btw Amber: I was upset & you ignored it, that's ruder btw Cosmo: He upsets lots of people Cosmo: I can't console you all Cosmo: I'm sure he'll be at yours if you need to talk it out Cosmo: or just smack him, better yet Amber: we aren't allowed to resort to violence to resolve our conflicts Amber: I came to Hotel Calfornia looking for him for that precise reason Cosmo: you're welcome to wait Cosmo: can never leave that one, yeah Cosmo: he'll be back for snacks at some point Amber: I got a better resolution, my shit back Cosmo: like I said, I am genuinely glad for you Cosmo: and I also said, you shouldn't bother being upset about him Amber: I'm not upset about him, that's why I'm not waiting for him Cosmo: What's wrong Amber: I don't like being stolen from, we share, we don't just take Cosmo: He's not from there Cosmo: and he's also a prick Cosmo: just tell all your other hippie mates and they'll not feel like sharing with him any time soon, easy Amber: he's there more than I am, he knows how things are Amber: & I'm not a teacher Cosmo: bold of you to assume he cares Cosmo: this ain't actually a hotel either, let you in on that shocker Cosmo: just treats it as such Amber: I'm not so high I see more dots than there are to connect Amber: you're easy to follow Amber: so is he Cosmo: If that's riddle for normie Cosmo: I've never been less offended, sorry Amber: if I wanted to offend you I'd have looked through your room after his Cosmo: what do you want Amber: something to do Cosmo: Do you wanna get back at him or no Amber: are you gonna out me to the hippies if I say yes? Cosmo: You've never seen me there Cosmo: you don't need to worry Amber: not worried, I'm curious Cosmo: right answer Cosmo: come back here and I'll help you this time, alright Cosmo: but not now, I have training Cosmo: later Amber: call my name when you're done Amber: now you know it Cosmo: alright Cosmo: if 12 other girls come out too, not my fault Amber: 😂 Amber: they won't look anything like me if they do Amber: we'll track each other down Cosmo: Hottest girl in the commune, I remember Cosmo: don't need to kick it that old school and insist on glass slippers Amber: what you should remember is I won the hippie lottery Amber: only Amber at the commune Amber: so if you find any others they'll be 'normal' Cosmo: quote unquote Cosmo: anyone who willingly spends their time there without reason is weirder than being born there Amber: I wasn't born there Amber: & you're being a bigger prick than your brother Cosmo: dragged there by your parents, same difference Amber: that's their reason for being there, they don't make me stay Amber: they don't make me do anything Cosmo: sure Amber: it's not the horriblest place I've lived, why is that so 👽 to you? Cosmo: Kids don't have free will when it comes to their parents Cosmo: mine don't MAKE me live here but where else Amber: I have more than most Cosmo: I already said sure Amber: but it's heavy with disbelief Cosmo: because its not real Amber: I'll send you a postcard as tangible proof when I go back to travelling & they stay here Cosmo: I'll pretend I'm impressed Amber: are we trying to impress each other now? Cosmo: Do you think you're being impressive Amber: no Cosmo: Good Amber: what are you training for? Cosmo: football Cosmo: I'm a footballer Amber: let me guess, you're the one who scores all the goals Amber: whatever that's called Cosmo: 😂 Cosmo: girls don't fuck with the goalie Cosmo: but I ain't ours Cosmo: even though its equally as important, if you ask him 😏 Amber: plenty more girls don't care what position a boy plays in Amber: or if he plays Cosmo: girls you know Cosmo: not ones I need to Amber: girls existing all over the world Amber: because there is a 🌏 beyond the commune, in spite of how obsessed you are with it Cosmo: called the world cup, look it up Cosmo: nothing unites the world more than football, fact Cosmo: ain't peace and love Amber: research football hooligans Amber: 👶s are made but domestic violence spikes if you lose Cosmo: part of it Cosmo: war is the other great equalizer, fightings the good bit of, obviously Amber: conversion to your way of thinking isn't necessary Cosmo: I'm right Cosmo: its irrelevant what you think Amber: I'm not looking for deprogramming & reprogramming Cosmo: Your loss Amber: 🙃 Cosmo: 👍 Cosmo: later Amber: call me, Cosmo 💫 Cosmo: don't call me that, like Amber: this is where if I was you, I'd say don't get upset Cosmo: I told you that's not my name Amber: what do you want me to call you? Cosmo: You seriously don't know his last name Cosmo: Christ Amber: why would I? he wasn't offering to give it to me Cosmo: 🙄 Cosmo: its Haynes Amber: 👌 Cosmo: [however long you have to train for, probably a full day] Cosmo: you about, Amber Amber: I thought you'd forgotten about me Cosmo: How could I Cosmo: how bad do you wanna mess with him then, what's the level here Amber: I don't want him to think I'm 💔 Cosmo: 'Course Cosmo: I've got an idea then Cosmo: you want to come back or you want me to 📬 you the goods Amber: are you gonna also send me 💌 with it? Cosmo: does that change your answer? Amber: yes Cosmo: I thought you'd had enough flattery for one day Amber: that was before you ignored me for a really long time Cosmo: 😂 Cosmo: you're funny Amber: 🤭 Cosmo: do you know what this is? Cosmo: [sends her a picture of a small ass/specialist spanner used for skateboard wheels] Amber: 🛹🔧 Cosmo: exactly Cosmo: so its just a case of if you wanna do the honours or not really Amber: I'll be there Cosmo: I won't start without you Cosmo: you can be more creative with your hiding places than he was too, not hard Amber: considerate Amber: I won't make you wait as long as you did me Cosmo: do most girls not like to be kept waiting too then Amber: it was you who singled me out as different Amber: 🕊☮️✌👽 Cosmo: comes with the territory Cosmo: but I could be beating women and rioting so you know Amber: 🌟 for not Cosmo: backatcha for being the only Amber Amber: I didn't choose my name, you know Amber: you'll have to give my mama that one Cosmo: 💔 so much for freedom Cosmo: take your wins, remember Amber: nobody can walk when they're a 👶 Amber: remember your manners Cosmo: you bringing her with then Cosmo: bit weird but fine Amber: you gonna flatter her too? Cosmo: 🌟 all 'round Amber: then no because her committed relationship would crumble & it'd be my fault for bringing her to the hotel Cosmo: hardly, I'm a prick, right Cosmo: and define committed whilst you're at it Amber: it's not up to me to define what she means by committed or to judge if she's into pricks young enough to be her son Cosmo: considerate Amber: 🤫 because I don't have 17 siblings or 4 fathers doesn't mean my mama is for you, boy Cosmo: the MILF thing is played out Cosmo: not for me Amber: 🌟🌟 Cosmo: cheers Amber: I understand why when he's at the commune, he stays Amber: it's a long way back to the hotel Cosmo: you reckon that's it Amber: do you have a pool? Cosmo: why would we Amber: he can't skate on water so that's another negative Amber: if you did Amber: & most hotels do Cosmo: yeah, for the 2 days a year the sun's out Cosmo: he'll have to learn to snowboard on it 'cos more likely Amber: you don't have to wait for the sun to come out to go swimming Cosmo: stitch that one on a pillow Amber: I'll leave it on your bed for you when I'm done Cosmo: you just that fast or you make a habit of breaking in? Amber: you don't want me in your pool or your room Amber: unfriendly Cosmo: 😏 Cosmo: gutted, obviously Cosmo: come in the front door this time, let's start there Amber: if you insist Cosmo: just thinking of my parents guttering Amber: are you calling me fat now? Cosmo: Oh yeah Cosmo: you're tiny, don't be dumb Amber: maybe you're playing blind football, I don't know your life Cosmo: I ignored you, I still 👀 you Cosmo: sorry to break it to you Amber: do you want that on the other side of the pillow? Cosmo: go on Amber: I'll just stitch some 👀s and freak you out Amber: the stalker in me Cosmo: 😍 more appropriate Amber: after you go swimming with me maybe Cosmo: got nothing more than a bathtub here, I weren't lying Amber: how big is it? Cosmo: you won't be able to do laps Amber: we'll have to float instead Cosmo: alright 😂 Amber: how long can you hold your breath for? Cosmo: I dunno Cosmo: but probably ages, my cardio is top Cosmo: how 'bout you Amber: we'll find out Cosmo: after floating Cosmo: gotcha Amber: or before Amber: I'm not setting a strict routine Cosmo: 😶 Cosmo: that's hippie talk Amber: that's what I am, boy Amber: more or less Cosmo: it don't matter what you are Cosmo: we've just got a common enemy Amber: you're being unfriendly again Cosmo: how am I? Amber: don't say I don't matter Cosmo: you understood what I meant Cosmo: just to each other Amber: that's not being stitched anywhere Cosmo: I will need another pillow like Cosmo: can't just have one Cosmo: but take your time Amber: 😏 Amber: what do you want on pillow 2? sequels are never as good Cosmo: I know, I'm the original Cosmo: does your wisdom start and end with the one quote then Cosmo: got the eyes, you may as well give me the rest Amber: my whole face isn't what you wanna be looking at every night before you go to sleep Amber: you never would Cosmo: come off it Amber: I'm an original too Amber: & the commune's hottest unless you're gonna take that back suddenly Cosmo: Not met everyone but I'd happily bet on it Amber: come meet everyone Cosmo: why Cosmo: didn't actually put a 💸 on that, if you're hiding some supermodel there for ransom Amber: because you won't find out if you don't Cosmo: I'll live, like Cosmo: tah for the offer Amber: what's your hang up with the place? Cosmo: anywhere my brother, or people like him, is, is not a place I need to be Amber: it's big enough that you can exist on opposite ends Cosmo: still Cosmo: not my scene Amber: when did you last go? Cosmo: I dunno, whenever I was last forced for some family birthday Amber: give it another 🎯 now you've been invited Cosmo: I still don't get what it is to you Cosmo: I like clubs Cosmo: and drinking over weed any day but not every day 'cos I have to stay in regime all week at least Amber: I don't get why you're so 🚫 Amber: Dash isn't gonna stop me being there Cosmo: I don't get why you care Cosmo: not the spokesperson you said Cosmo: I'm not ripe for indoctrinating, I'm good Amber: because don't you think you're too old for sibling rivalry Cosmo: There's no rivalry Cosmo: we don't like each other Cosmo: he's a loser and happy being it Amber: whatever you wanna call it, more played out than milfs Amber: it's like the kids here who draw a line down their section of the room Cosmo: I didn't ask for you opinion Amber: you don't have to be mad about it because you didn't ask for it Cosmo: I can be mad because its unwarranted and you have no idea what you're giving your opinion on Amber: I'll give you an apology if you'll take it Cosmo: whatever Cosmo: just come do what you need to do Amber: I just wanted to see you around, I didn't mean to go hard into prying into your shit Amber: sorry Cosmo: no harm done Cosmo: don't worry Amber: it's not been a typical day Amber: I know I wear stalker well but not my usual colours Cosmo: I get it Cosmo: I do know him even if I'd prefer not to Cosmo: and even if I don't know you Cosmo: no biggie Amber: that unites us if ⚽ never will Cosmo: Right 😏 Cosmo: I weren't taking the piss when I said you were different to the rest Cosmo: even if I didn't mean it as lame as it sounded Cosmo: don't feel bad, yeah Amber: shouldn't I? if I'm different then why didn't I act different Cosmo: We all make mistakes Cosmo: you don't have to be a repeat offender, you know Amber: that's less likely than the skateboarding on water trick Amber: he wouldn't offer & I wouldn't accept Cosmo: Good to know but bit TMI Amber: sorry again Cosmo: don't mention it Cosmo: seriously, like Amber: 😶 Cosmo: 👍 Cosmo: he's an idiot Amber: the way everyone talks about him, I thought Amber: we'd click Cosmo: Didn't you Cosmo: nah Cosmo: well, there's plenty other people 'round to be mates with instead Cosmo: one plus of living there, surely Amber: it's the best thing about living there Cosmo: there you go then Cosmo: and you clearly don't need any help with lads Cosmo: forget him Amber: after this Cosmo: well, of course Cosmo: not even stalker moves, just fair Amber: if you'd let me use the window it could be both Cosmo: would you like it to be both Cosmo: won't tell but I can't vouch for the neighbours Amber: you don't want your neighbours thinking I'm sleeping my way through the family Amber: understandable because you'd be 2nd Cosmo: Hilarious Cosmo: and you wouldn't want to break up my parent's stable committed relationship would you Amber: no Cosmo: I wouldn't recommend either of them and all so fairplay Amber: it'd be bizarre if you did Cosmo: you got limits then Cosmo: good to know Amber: because I consent to live with a big group of hippies you assume I don't? Amber: some of them are very limited Amber: or is it because I slept with your brother once? Cosmo: I'm not assuming anything Cosmo: that's why I said, always handy to know Cosmo: and you said you'd shut up so do Amber: have another go at asking me to & I will Cosmo: you don't get it, 'cos you're an only child Cosmo: but there's nothing I'd like to talk about less Amber: you still don't get to tell me to shut up Cosmo: If you wanna talk about him piping you, go literally anywhere else, I don't care Cosmo: I don't wanna hear it Amber: I don't wanna talk about it but I don't want you to talk to me like that either Cosmo: You stop, I'll stop Cosmo: that works in both our favours Amber: agreed Cosmo: sorted Amber: let me in & it soon can be Cosmo: 👌 Amber: [just gonna walk up in your house like she owns it] Cosmo: [doing the after you motion like 'you know where it is'] Amber: [going there cos she do] Cosmo: [following 'cos you've committed now not gonna bail, assumedly found all boards he has so more of a fuck you moment, just sitting on his bed like awks] Amber: [sitting on the floor because doesn't wanna sit on his bed for obvs reasons even if he hadn't already claimed it and getting to work but lbr she'd struggle to get some of the wheels off cos you can't tell me she's got any strength at all, look at her, so just looking at him like help] Cosmo: [shaking his head like lol but lowers himself to the floor too to get the rest off] Amber: [kissing him on the cheek when he's done it like thanks] Cosmo: [😳 and pushing her away, gently lol, like get off and just focusing on their handiwork like well 'what you gonna do with 'em all?'] Amber: [is genuinely thinking 'other than putting one on a necklace, you mean?'] Cosmo: [🙄 but not so severe 'you know they cost loads, for what they are, not joking, probably some other stoner kids you can sell 'em to'] Amber: ['there's plenty of younger skaters I know I can give them to' because what does she need money for tbh] Cosmo: ['cute' but 😒 on the low 'maybe someone can use them in a fucking, what's the word- installation'] Amber: [just nodding because another good idea thanks even if you're being salty] Cosmo: [on his phone a bit 'cos what else, also how else are you casually gonna add 'so you DON'T want me to punch him?'] Amber: [gathering up all the wheels to put in her bag because let's assume there's loads 'you said you're not assuming shit, I only said I'll get in it if I do at home'] Cosmo: [nods 😏 and hands her one that rolled away 'so what is part two of the plan?'] Amber: [shrugs like I'm not gonna tell you what to do about your brother again, lesson learned, but then looks at him for confusion because why do they need a part two 'a theft for a theft makes me and Dash even'] Cosmo: ['boring' and getting up like well if you're not gonna hit him] Amber: [gets up herself 'which door's the bathroom? we've still got plans' and does the swimming arms thing like come on] Cosmo: [laughs 'cos obviously didn't and doesn't think she's serious] Amber: [goes to find it herself because we know she is] Cosmo: [following and directing her away from his room like nope wrong way] Amber: [finds that 🛁 and sets it running and casually strips to her undies like it's no thing cos how she's been raised its not] Cosmo: [just turning so fast like horrified lmao 'what are you doing?!'] Amber: [sitting on the edge waiting for that fill like 'I spelled it out' looking at him like what's confusing you here we discussed it] Cosmo: [just looking back but only at her face to be like wtf] Amber: [goes to put her head under all 😏 but more amused than that emoji ever is 'time me' and then does holding her breath for however long she can] Cosmo: [is all 'for god's sake' under his breath but does still, also shutting the door though I assume they aren't in lol] Amber: [accidentally flicking so much water at him when she comes back up cos her braids are long af and loling like oh soz but obvs not] Cosmo: [so 😑 'are you done now or what?'] Amber: ['how long was it?' looking at him genuinely curious to know] Cosmo: [whatever number 'round about makes sense 'cos idk 'you need a baseline to know if its good or bad otherwise its meaningless data'] Amber: ['I wanna know if I'm better or worse than you, so have your go'] Cosmo: [a face like seriously but does 'cos competitive and 'I'm obviously going to be better, you could've saved yourself the effort' whilst taking whatever clothes he has on off] Amber: [just smiling cos what effort we're having a lovely time you rude hoe] Cosmo: [shakes his head but less mad than before 'don't cheat' and going under] Amber: [we all know he's gonna be better but that's hardly the point actually] Cosmo: [casually staying under 'til you nearly die, a mood, not even asking just like 😏 at her] Amber: [getting in the tub and lying down on her back stretched out like boy I am not bothered] Cosmo: ['if you just wanted to use the facilities, like...' and getting a towel to dry his face and hair] Amber: ['it's a hotel if I want, is it?' just being a mermaid over here like don't mind her] Cosmo: ['wait 'til I give you the bill' and taking the chance to look at her via the mirror] Amber: ['let me guess, am I gonna have to sell the wheels to afford it?' just loling] Cosmo: ['not in the market for a shit ton of squashes so you can't barter your way out'] Amber: [splashes him like rude but not actually offended obvs] Cosmo: ['oi' and drying himself some more like 'scuse me 'offer something better if you have it'] Amber: ['if it's too cold for you, I can add some more hot water' and does 'you've got plenty of that on offer, unlike the farm and plenty of other places I've lived'] Cosmo: ['you should've just asked if you needed a bath, like'] Amber: [splashes him harder than before like stop being mean to me] Cosmo: [a look like you said it and dropping the towel he was holding to mop the floor pointedly] Amber: [a look back like don't kill my vibe I'm having fun here] Cosmo: ['manners'] Amber: [gestures like his 'after you' one he did earlier for him to get in with her] Cosmo: [shakes his head 'small as you are, I barely fit on my own'] Amber: [looks him up and down like she's not even considered that he might not fit with a small lil pouty lip moment for half a sec before smiling 'is that a pro or a con for footballers?'] Cosmo: [just looking at her lips like can you not 'cos obviously wants to but is not going to, good distraction with football chat 'not essential but I'm faster than any short lad obviously, so that helps whatever position they wanna put me in'] Amber: ['but are you a scorer, officially?' when you think that's what they are called bye] Cosmo: [laughing but not at 'cos cute 'yeah, basically its me and the centre-forward, so his job is to just score the goals, which is mine too, but I also set him up with goals and do more attack midfielding too, like the go-between, s'more interesting' shrugs 'cos you know you're gonna have lost her and you're used to that 'cos WAGs don't actually care about the game either lol 'I'm fast, so I can be in two places at once, better than lads that only know one position and then are fucked if the formation is changed'] Amber: ['why can't every player help each other on the team how you do instead of having specific roles that they're really zoned into?'] Cosmo: [when you ain't expecting a follow-up question like oh okay 👀 'well, if we all do our role, then we work as a team like a whole, one being, so I can't fully go into midfield and do their defending side of it, and if I'm with the defenders I ain't where I need to be to pass the ball to goal, right? Like if the goalie decided he wanted to score, if we lose the ball, who's stopping it? If we all tried to do all of it, you've got 22 lads on a ball, the game falls apart, like. If everyone gets their one part down perfect, then the game is ours' pauses, trying to think of an example of his limited knowledge of her atm 'like your dad's the teacher, yeah? if he goes and does a half-arsed job of something else, then someone else has to half-arse the teaching whilst he's gone and then you end up with a shitter result than if you'd all done what you was meant to...you get brought to a team for a specific thing, so if you ain't bringing it, they'll bench you, but the more positions you're capable in, the more they can move you around...' stops sheepishly like sorry] Amber: [when you're buzzing cos he didn't make fun of you and that actually made sense and he'd be able to tell 'do they ever ask you where you wanna play though? when you start, or does the manager just decide for everyone?'] Cosmo: ['sort of. see, when you play proper, not just a local five-a-side, you work out when you're really young what position you're best in, or at least the area, even if you move about a bit within that area, like I've always been more attack than defense since I could walk- s'like any career honestly, so if your da was a maths teacher at one school, he'd more likely go to his next and do the same, you can change but you've built up a rep for that positon, you aren't gonna just waltz in and say you want a different one just 'cos, you have to prove yourself, like anything' when you feel like you're talking about yourself so much 'cos not allowed unless its with other boys at school/on the team so that's basically like work chat with colleagues 'you go same school as Dash and that then?'] Amber: [genuinely interested because wouldn't have thought about it like a career before and again it'd be obvious she's not just nodding along bored or whatever 'my dad doesn't like to let the class sizes get too big' because in my head there's lowkey too many peeps living at the commune full time never mind the peeps who come and go 'so when we got here I enrolled myself same day, takes the pressure off'] Cosmo: [that feels real to me as a vibe right before it all goes downhill 'that's good, though I'm sure it don't feel like you get much more attention' 'cos schools are always rammed esp. in cities] Amber: ['I don't want it' because I feel like she's not that academic soz father] Cosmo: ['what do you wanna do after?'] Amber: [shrugs because probably wouldn't know at this point 'undecided'] Cosmo: [wouldn't wanna sound salty about it 'cos that's most people but ultimately is 'cos not an option when you need to start as a toddler if you wanna do footie 'must be nice' half-smiles to show he's not being the rudest] Amber: ['I could become a referee, run into you again that way' also smiling but fully because obvs not gonna do that but like boy I wanna see you take the hint] Cosmo: [😏 'I reckon the songs the hippie boys write for you are more favourable than what you'd get as a ref but you'd suit the stripes'] Amber: [another pout that quickly turns into a smile because ultimately true] Cosmo: [a LOOK that's like stop doing that] Amber: [a look back because there will never be a time when I don't] Cosmo: ['you ever getting out or what, Ariel?' and running his hands through the water, making a point of getting SO close to touching her but not quite] Amber: [when you shiver but we can pretend it's because you're in the tub even though we all know you put hot water in not long ago] Cosmo: [but its more noticeable 'cos you didn't reply so another 😏 moment, going to his room without saying anything like bye but coming back with a dressing gown like there you go] Amber: [getting out immediately and putting it on like he might take it away again if I don't and I wanna wear it cos it's his so] Cosmo: [gonna drown in fabric and look so cute bye] Amber: [taking off those wet undergarments like you can't see anything but I'm now naked under this so think about that but also because it's necessary or you'll never dry] Cosmo: [just dying 'cos what are you gonna do with this obvious moment like umm] Amber: [walking out of the bathroom like it's so casual and throwing the words over your shoulder as you go downstairs to explore like 'where's the hotel bar?'] Cosmo: [let's assume you've got a few bottles of something decent in your top cupboard, when you don't need a chair 'cos tol boy, just getting out some vodka like ?] Amber: [going to the fridge to get something to mix it with cos there's no need to drink it straight we're not going that hard] Cosmo: [just leaning casually watching like okay, go off] Amber: [handing it to him as if he's the barman and walking away to go get comfy on their sofa, put music on and generally act like you live here] Cosmo: [bemused af 'how often do you do this then?' and getting himself some of whatever mixer she used] Amber: ['I never stay in hotels' because true tbh] Cosmo: ['well yeah but I could be anyone, you know' makes a face like 🤪] Amber: ['you could be someone too' and a look cos we all know what she means by that flirty nonsense] Cosmo: ['you gonna stay 'til you work it out?' and coming over to sit down 'cos just been hovering in the kitchen] Amber: [stretching out and putting her feet on him even though she's smol cos there's the answer she's going nowhere any time soon] Cosmo: [just looking down at them then looking back up at her, not saying anything but not not saying nothing you know] Amber: [drinking her drink but in a contented way and lowkey grooving to whatever music she put on] Cosmo: [when she's so cute in a way you are not used to 'cos girls you are like never get comfortable around you never let their guard down get up before you to reapply makeup types so you feel so outta your depth but not mad about it either] Amber: ['thank you, by the way' cos you remember you haven't actually said anything about him helping you earlier] Cosmo: [when you're a bit ? 'cos not sure what she's referring to at first but then you realize and shrug 'he deserves it, no big'] Amber: [nudging him with your foot like oi don't downplay it cos it means something to you even if he didn't do it for you] Cosmo: [grabbing her foot and tickling it to see if she is] Amber: [isn't so just raising her eyebrow at him like oh really] Cosmo: ['you're definitely an alien'] Amber: [laughs at that though 'plenty of people aren't ticklish, you know'] Cosmo: [shakes head 'sounds fake, hippie'] Amber: ['it'd be bogus if I did this-' reacts like a ticklish bitch how he obvs wanted her to] Cosmo: ['sometimes its polite to fake it, you know' throwing a pillow or something at her] Amber: ['whatever girl told you she was doing it to be polite...' throws it back 'that was not the real vibe'] Cosmo: ['shut up, that's not what I meant' purposefully throwing it out of her reach] Amber: [such a pout so offended] Cosmo: ['boys can fake it too, you with your assumptions'] Amber: ['I didn't realise we were waiting on your really polite boyfriend to come home, but I'll let you two be alone for the awkward discussion of why he really faked it'] Cosmo: [pushes her feet off him and gets up to go back upstairs] Amber: [just looking at him like what?] Cosmo: ['you know where the door is when you're done then' looks back 'or the window, whatever'] Amber: ['why are you so angry about anything I said that you want me to be done?'] Cosmo: ['I'm just bored of the jokes, you don't know me like that- like this' gestures between them and then does a 'forget about it' motion] Amber: [finishes her drink and goes into the kitchen to wash and dry the glass like fine I'm getting ready to go] Cosmo: [in his room, I guess] Amber: [shall I get Dash back rn or do we wanna coax him back first?] Cosmo: [whatever feels realer to you tbh] Amber: [let's get him back then fuck it, bonus points if there's a back door in the kitchen he comes through and she's just there washing up in a dressing gown like #ohhey] Cosmo: [how hilariously domestic, and you can't think she's waiting for you in your brother's dressing gown so bye] Amber: [I'm cackling but I'm not cos he'd be such a dick] Cosmo: [now I'm like, hmm, he's probably loud enough for you to hear, do you come down and diffuse/detract attention, I say yes] Amber: [just don't punch him cos then it will look like you're a couple lol] Cosmo: [just be your usual fighty selves and run girl run I say] Amber: [she'd have literally just been like I came back to get my stash and the rest is none of your business which doesn't exactly help so go back to the bathroom and put your clothes on girl] Cosmo: [just doing your best to not start a brawl here] Amber: [coming back clothed after a hot sec and giving him his dressing gown back with a genuine smile because you had fun and you're not sorry]

[slytherflynn]

Hogwarts Houses as Things I've Said

Gryffindor: "Anna, I got stuck in the tree again!" "I'm no leader, but I'm fine with stepping up to the plate if need be" "I'm allergic to cats but I'm willing to die if that death means I get to be surrounded by 20 of them" "I always follow my brain so I don't get hurt, but then I still get hurt anyways. I think I'm gonna try following my heart from now on, and if I get hurt I won't regret it, because it'll finally be worth it to be in pain." "The only person I've ever made it this far with was Casey, so I'm like super happy, but also confused as hell because I have no idea what the fuck to do now" "I'm telling you bro, moths are the spawn of Satan and deserve to burn in hell"

Hufflepuff: "Oh hell no, I know you ain't laying a finger on my little brother" "You're family, Corrie, even if we're not blood." "Okay, and...??? I'm gonna eat whatever food I want regardless of whether you call me fat for it, Casey" "Even if we aren't a "thing" anymore, I can't think about him getting in a fight because he could get hurt! I care about him too much, and that's why I had to leave the gym, it was way too stressful to watch that guy following him around trying to get him to fight." "It feels so good to have somebody unexpectedly say they love me. It makes me love them even more." "You're really wack for not liking bacon, you're a straight up weirdo for that"

Ravenclaw: "Corrie. I know the secret of immortality. Or at least a near-replica of it" "Corrie, I'm certain you're the only person in this room that can do a better job on this AP Lang exam than me, and I am basing that entirely on the fact that your Compass test score was literally only two points better than mine." "Mom, Mr. Bowling hugged my face today because I was the only person who knew the answer to a certain question. It felt nice, but it kinda hurt because he squished my nose." "I know a 3.96 is good. But I wanted to be the best, I wanted a 4.0. So of course I bawled my eyes out, missed lunch, fell apart in the weightroom right after school, and cried even while I was running." ""Knowledge is Power" is by far the best quote I've ever heard in my life, and I'm not at all ashamed to say that I heard it in Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, because that movie is a beautiful work of art" "She's just so beautiful, I don't even know how to describe her"

Slytherin: "I'm better than everyone else here simply because I can outrun every single one of you in the 800, the 1600, the 3200, and the 5K. Not so sure about the 400, probably doable though." "Keep my brother's name out of your mouth. You have NO idea what Walker's gone through to keep me and my family safe." "I'm being extra because I can, Isaiah" "I'm wearing shades inside because I can, Isaiah" "I'm wearing a hat indoors because I can, Casey- hey, give it ba- actually, you don't look half bad in hot pink, you sure that's not your color?" "I'm wearing open-toed shoes because I can, Casey, stop making fun of my toes I already know they're ugly" "I'm the most humble conceited person I know, that makes sense if you don't think about it" "Casey, you can fight me and I'll win simply because I'll want it enough"

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: you're such a twat Janis: 👊🖕😡 Jimmy: bit rude Janis: what's rude is I'm stuck in biology Jimmy: tell 'em there's nowt they can teach you Jimmy: I've already done it, like Janis: gross Janis: but detention would probably beat this Janis: none of the skeleton army would be in there, at least, even if it's one of the less annoying ones Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: not like getting sent out is any sort of challenge Jimmy: or owt you need me for Jimmy: but I'm here without my muse 💔🎻💔 Janis: school trips are forced fun Janis: but I ain't feeling sorry for you Jimmy: come on Jimmy: gimme a bit Janis: get me something from the gift shop and I'll consider it Janis: #peakromance that Jimmy: duh Jimmy: saved my tips for days Janis: 😍😍😍 Janis: buzzin', love keyrings, me Jimmy: funny that 'cause I've never seen you use a key to get in anywhere Janis: exactly, like serial killer trophies for all the houses I've violated Janis: 😈 Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: Seriously though Janis: how wank is it Jimmy: what's the scale? Janis: Hmm, good question, boy Janis: assuming we're talking about quality, let's say best case is that weird thing you did that one time that felt so good you're scared to do it again and become a fulltimedeviantTM and worst case is like finishing in a sock you'd already ruined earlier and forgot about Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: real poet you are Jimmy: gonna steal them words for my tripadvisor review in a bit tah Jimmy: it don't matter I still want you to show your face down here for me Jimmy: 🏃 girl 🏃 Janis: always the way Janis: should be making my own art but full time occupation 'inspiring' you Janis: that said, I don't think your teach is so concerned about your art suffering she'll forget I ain't in her class, like Jimmy: you are art baby Jimmy: can't call it a gallery if you ain't hanging around Jimmy: lots of other knobheads are though, get lost in a crowd and find me, barely a challenge Janis: 🙄 you are ridiculous Janis: but I get it, gotta have me on the wall asap Janis: I am really fucking bored Jimmy: direct quote me when you tweet later 💕 Jimmy: the 1 correction being against the wall Janis: performance art Janis: how bold of you 😏 Jimmy: can't let you stay bored Jimmy: ain't #goals Janis: true Janis: move fast in this place Janis: go away for one day and your 👑 is taken like that Jimmy: good thing you're such an athlete then, babe Janis: say I'm thinking about it Janis: I reckon you'd owe me Janis: more than a keyring, like Jimmy: alright Janis: you must really miss me Jimmy: shut up, I said alright Jimmy: are you thinking about what you want or just how you're getting here? Janis: maybe I wanted you to say you miss me sooooooo much and you've really shit the bed there, mate Jimmy: do you? Janis: you're alright Janis: I'm just getting chucked out Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: just saying, if I SOS you now, you've got no out 'cos I'm saving you, yeah Jimmy: weren't gonna say fuck off to an SOS anyway, IOU or nah, was I? Jimmy: not very romantic that Janis: 💕 Janis: always nice to use a bit of coercion and control though, however necessary Janis: keeps it fresh, babe Jimmy: 💌 got it in writing there Jimmy: you're saving me, I'll save you right back Janis: so quotable today, you Janis: you're meant to be all visual Janis: 📷=1000 you know Jimmy: keeping it fresh like you said Jimmy: besides Jimmy: [sends her a pic of a half done done drawing of her he's working on instead of what he's meant to be doing] Jimmy: 🎨 = 1000 euros easy, mate Janis: damn Janis: I'm on my way Janis: you didn't have to be actually talented and cute about it Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: don't run too fast I've gotta finish and stick it up on a bit of blank wall first Janis: I won't Janis: even if I'll admit I have missed seeing your face about here, like Jimmy: it's the accent really Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: paddy lingo gets a bit samey when it's not !!!!!!!!!!!! Janis: yeah, your dulcet tones really do it for me Janis: what can I say? nice not having to pretend I can understand what you're chatting Jimmy: I know but tah for putting it on record Janis: you ain't allowed to put that in any sort of review, soz Jimmy: I won't, you can do better Janis: I'd say thanks for the faith but we all know you're just being cocky Jimmy: don't sound like me that Janis: no? Janis: sorry, who am I speaking to again Jimmy: 👻 lad Jimmy: cause of 💀 that brutal bit of #bants Janis: oh right, casper well can you get someone in here who is a bit cocky Janis: no offense but you're too nice for me, like Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: see what I mean Jimmy: so demanding you Janis: yeah and what Jimmy: not part of the deal, were it? Janis: what wasn't? Jimmy: owt #ungoals Janis: do YOU know who you're talking to rn Jimmy: hang on, I'll get it Jimmy: starts with a J? Janis: 🖕 Janis: dickhead 😏 Jimmy: I do miss you Jimmy: no need to get a big head or make it weird but just Janis: I know Jimmy: do you know now's when you say it back Janis: I said it earlier! Janis: weren't you listening Jimmy: and what you're live tweeting? that character limit'll fuck you every time, gutted Janis: just saying Janis: we're even Janis: but I'll say it again if you want me to win, like Jimmy: how's that work? if you say it again I win Jimmy: it's me that wants to hear it Janis: rude that you want me to lose then Janis: but it don't feel like losing to me so Janis: I missed you Janis: more than I should, I reckon Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: nowt personal Jimmy: and I reckon you miss me the decent amount considering, like Janis: it's cool, I get to be #1 best gf ever and you can read about the shit job you're doing in my subtweets, like Janis: and what was that about not getting a big head? 🤔 Jimmy: do as I say not as I do, girl Jimmy: the northern approach to dating there for yous Janis: how's that worked for you so far Janis: #toosoon? Jimmy: 💔💀💀💔 Jimmy: #savage Janis: just sayin' Janis: don't reckon you should be going to your da for that advice Jimmy: too soon for me to be lining up the next girls who might fall for the looking at 'em instead of the paintings bollocks? Janis: 'course not Janis: got your pick of the art hoes, they'll lap it up Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I'll crack on then Janis: I'll go home then Jimmy: I'll meet you there in a bit then Janis: 😑 Jimmy: it's alright save your enthusiasm for the IRL Janis: you're so annoying Jimmy: 💕 Janis: do you want me there or what 'cos I'm out Jimmy: do you wanna be here or what? Janis: obviously Janis: sounds like a blast Jimmy: so come on Janis: don't be a twat Jimmy: join the fun Janis: awh, you think I'm not always a twat Janis: how sweet Jimmy: you might have a couple of decent mins per day Janis: 💕 Jimmy: [snap] Janis: was about to say can't say the same for you but at least you're funny Janis: 😂 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: soz to break up your suck sesh but already on the bus so Jimmy: she'll be done soon Jimmy: no energy Janis: draining yours boy Jimmy: if she ends up swallowing my soul have a word with your god for me Jimmy: weren't my fault Jimmy: 🤞 she'll spit Janis: that's exactly the kinda sentiment that's keeping you out of heaven Janis: I ain't ruining my chances, soz Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: have to keep badgering you for that 💀 death pact, eh, Juliet Jimmy: doing yourself in still a sin, yeah? Janis: last I checked Janis: he's not doing edits still, like Janis: 'less you wanna join one of those weird ones Jimmy: 👌👍 Jimmy: #datenight is still on 🔥💕 Janis: 😂 Janis: got a whole list to get through Jimmy: [sends her a pic of that drawing of her finished and stuck to the wall cos he's a nerd] Jimmy: just wiped my to do one til you get here Janis: Impressed Janis: but only a few minutes away so don't pat yourself on the back too hard yet Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: why would I when I've got you to do it for me Janis: not what I had in mind but alright Jimmy: gotta keep that one track mind of yours on a heavenly track, babe Jimmy: not gonna be your ruin unless you ask for it Janis: but I don't wanna talk Janis: or pray Jimmy: if you look like you're praying that might get the job done Jimmy: try it Janis: boy Jimmy: What? Janis: I'm trying to focus here Jimmy: if you ain't up for the challenge Janis: shut up Janis: 'course I am Jimmy: don't sound like it Janis: you want me to do it now Janis: I was waiting 'til I got there but alright Jimmy: alright, shut up Janis: not really feeling the randoms on this bus but you know Jimmy: hang on, I'll get the orchestra Janis: got a few stops for someone hot to get on Janis: don't cry for me yet Jimmy: but I'm so close to tears Janis: I'll get you there baby Janis: 💕💔 Jimmy: #ultimategoals Janis: you know it Janis: so 🍀 you Jimmy: [tweets something extra about how lucky he is lol] Jimmy: now they know it an' all Jimmy: so welcome you Janis: 😏 Janis: so whipped too but can keep that between us Jimmy: 👍 Janis: right, coming in, where are you lot so I can avoid Jimmy: I'll do a slow mo run to the entrance Jimmy: 1 sec Janis: if anyone asks, I don't know you Jimmy: kissing strangers is fun, don't blame you Janis: try not to let on that you're that bored already Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: can stay between me and you Janis: can't let the fans down, like Jimmy: [appears and kisses her really dramatically only for the fans tho obvs] Janis: [sure guys lmao] Jimmy: [take your excuse to be really extra boy cos the fans are gonna love this can't deny it] Janis: ['hey, stranger'] Jimmy: [😏 and more kisses because always] Janis: ['come on then' like lead the way so we aren't just in the entrance like hello] Jimmy: [casual hand holding moment obvs he leads her to pose with the drawing cos we can pretend that's for the fans but really he wants it off the wall cos don't think its that good, oh boy I feel you] Janis: [such a proud little nerd face] Jimmy: [lowkey can't look at it or the bae so good thing he's 📷] Janis: [looks at the pics and does a 👍 too] Jimmy: [take the pic down and run to another part of this gallery] Janis: [when you're doing your best serious art appreciation impression looking at all the paintings like 🤔] Jimmy: [just loling at her cos you're already having more fun in these few mins than you have the whole time you've been there so far] Janis: [shushing him dramatically, probably making more noise than his lol 'this is a museum, show some respect'] Jimmy: [giving her a look like make me and saying 'or what?' as standard] Janis: [you know those doublesided benches they always have in the middle, casually pushing him down on that for a lap makeout moment] Jimmy: [such a mood, not soz other visitors] Janis: just getting tuts from the random old people who loiter everywhere in the day lmao] Jimmy: [doing the most to annoy them even more when he hears the disapproval cos 100% that bitch] Janis: Same honestly Janis: like don't test 'em lmao Janis: [] Jimmy: [so well suited you two] Janis: ['can I keep it?' the pic, obvs] Jimmy: [takes it out of his pocket and puts it into hers] Janis: ['big head, like' but really you just like it 'cos he did it] Jimmy: [kisses her on the head 'you can pull it off'] Janis: ['nerd' but kisses him back and it's way more soft than before when she was going in] Jimmy: [we love a soft moment] Janis: ['it's so boring when you're not there...and shit' Jimmy: ['should've taken art' gestures around with an unimpressed face 'never boring that'] Janis: ['I can see' 😏 'well if I knew there was gonna be a hot new boy, OBVIOUSLY I'd have picked different'] Jimmy: ['I get it, even a know it all like you weren't gonna see me coming, that #special, like' but kissing her neck as he says it all cos we both know he thinks she's sooo special bye] Janis: ['Obviously, new boy' #intoit and moving his hands to around her waist] Jimmy: [pulling her closer to him 5ever as he carries on] Janis: ['Okay, okay, I really missed you'] Jimmy: [makes a happy sound because can't not] Janis: [kissing his ear so she can whisper not 'cos she gives a fuck about anyone else here, clearly, but 'cos vulnerable so gotta say it quiet if you're gonna, 'it was like before when I didn't know you, or when you weren't here and I hated it'] Jimmy: [probably can't pull her any closer but tries to and holds her really tightly because not going anywhere and just the softest kisses ever] Janis: [shaking her head like pull yourself together bitch and changing the pace] Jimmy: [going with it cos he gets it being vulnerable is shit and hard]] Jimmy: [I can just imagine some art hoe putting them on her stories like she don't even take art!] Janis: [she doesn't even go here, regardless being like 'come on' 'cos take me somewhere we can actually do this] Jimmy: [should we let them actually leave? cos better option than bathrooms and the point of her showing up has been made] Janis: [why not, live ur dreams kids] Jimmy: [getting in trouble together is their thing] Janis: [hell yeah it is, and being talk of the town #standard] Jimmy: [1000% several art hoes saw them going into the bathroom and we know it] Janis: [gossipy hoes, even if none of the actual squad take it, some of their lesser friends blates do for the fashun vibe] Jimmy: [get in the gift shop after and piss about and shade their art hoe aesthetic] Janis: [all the socials lmao] Jimmy: [he steals her a keyring cos not gonna spend money but she's gotta have one] Janis: [💕 tbh] Jimmy: [now go have some actual fun and alone time kids]