#I can link this to my discord friends and go 'hey look!! I yapped about Grimaror!!' because at least one of them loves to see it)

[draconicsilence]

-looks both ways- time for random thoughts about a lizard

there is no reason for this beyond me wanting to talk about Grimaror by mentioning anything I can think of/remember for him that is just general stuff, not getting into character relationships here, just....assorted things that I thought of as I wrote down my thoughts for....a couple hours...

(if this doesn’t make it clear that my process of making headcanons and ideas is based purely on vibes and what my brain thinks of in the moment, idk what does)

- Whatever the hell he is in regards to dragon species....It ain’t a true Fell Dragon in regards to my own personal stuff. [Context: I have natural occurring dragons that look like Fells in stuff I do with my friends. Grim is....not one of these. Or an artificial one for that matter, at least in the sense of ‘looks like a natural Fell despite not being one’] Then what is he? Uhhh, the current guess is a sort of dragon chimera creature; the base is of the same creature as the leviathan he sees in his dreams, but he is so different from that creature as well, to the point that it is clear he is not quite the same dragon type as that one now. He is still called a Fell Dragon, he doesn’t know what else he could be, that’s just what people have called his dragon form for many years. (Examples of oddities: The six feathered wings, the legs too long for him.....the fact he has six eyes.)

-------------

- What name came first, Grima or Grimroar? The answer is....Grima, but Grimroar was the name he chose for himself, though among people he shortens it to Grim. He knows it doesn’t hide his ties that well, but....it’s more normal at least, at least a tiny bit. Once he lost his memory, he doesn’t remember to shorten it......and yet it gets shortened to Grim again anyways.

------------

- -holds up his version from the dark timeline- I wish to bring up a Fact about both versions of Grim; both break off pieces of their dragon form despite the pain it causes, but it’s different parts for different reasons.

The one of the normal timeline constantly keeps his bottom pair of horns; he has two pairs, the smaller top pair he leaves alone; worn completely down to mere nubs. At one point he had them grown properly, but at some point he can’t remember, he broke them off and started to keep them mere nubs. He doesn’t remember his exact reasons for doing this, but he has a feeling it ties back to his usual want to make himself look as different as possible to depictions of Grima; he can’t change much about himself, but the bottom horns being gone is a good step, right? With encouragement and reassurance that no matter how he looks, he is still himself and not what people assume he is, he might let them grow back in....

The one of the timeline the second gen units came from? He bears all four of his horns, but something he lacks is the many crystals that naturally occur on him that aid him in storing and controlling electricity; he removed all of them to try to limit his power, and kept them from regrowing. This instead made his natural control of electricity, as well as his thunder magic, much harder to control and yet also much harder to use for extended periods unless he is among a storm to recharge himself. This....still didn’t prevent the destruction caused by his own dragon form, and after the rampage that started the whole mess, he tries to encourage the crystals to finally regrow, to try to regain control of his abilities.

----------------

- Grim isn’t sure how he lost his memory; he remembers that he is a dragon, but not any of his past besides what his dreams wish to show him. And his dreams commonly frighten him by showing him memories of a terrifying leviathan wrapped in storms, or a intimidating man that looks like him but with visible traits of the leviathan as part of his form. Or of what he assumes is Grima, but only sometimes is the dragon actually violent; just as often he will see the dragon being curious or perfectly docile despite its frightening appearance.

(The answer for how he lost his memory: Grima got rid of his own memories on purpose, just so he could actually find it in himself to give humanity one final chance even after he nearly died; one final chance to give him reason to not raze the land to the ground with lightning and storms. What happened in Plegia a mere couple of decades before he truly awoke made him almost give up on his plan, but he still went through with it, erasing his memory and intending to rest a few more decades to make sure he was fully healed and the person he requested wake him would come to do so. The diverge point in the timelines ends up being....Well, the Grimleal trying to awaken him and restore his memories despite him not wanting to remember; in both timelines he escapes and ends up found taking a nap on the ground.

But in the main one, he still truly lacks his memories until they start coming back properly due to building stress and anxiety over his dragon form and what his resemblance to Grima must mean given that the children of the future came from that dark future to stop the Fell Dragon, which leads to a breaking point eventually, though one the Grima of the dark future tries to nudge towards occurring in such a way as to allow him to be saved; he knows it will happen one day, the important part is for it to happen where there is still a way to save Grim from himself.

In the timeline the second gens end up coming from? Um. Yeah Grima might have regained his memories a lot earlier. He still does his best to ignore the lingering malice and hate from them, and try to start anew, not bringing any of the thoughts and feelings from his past up; he manages for as long as he can....but eventually it is just too much, he finally loses control after something manages to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back, likely the brief control over him that Validar had, and even just this loss of control for a short while spells disaster. And then there are the Risen that came with that loss of control and.... He hides himself out of both shame for what he did and fear of killing anyone else he cares about. (Eventually, he starts to play the villian, if that is what will get someone to change the past so his past self never has to endure the same level of pain as him; and he aids in his own way, to try to make it better as well.)

--------------

- To end on a at least somewhat more positive note: Morgan is of the same timeline as the other second gens[I need to figure out how this works for a Manakete...], but....Grima raised her for the most part for reasons he is not keen on sharing. He never wanted her to help him in that dark future. She did that herself. He chose to do what he originally wanted to do to himself when it came time to send her along with the rest of the second gens; take away her memory....but keep the memories of just how loved she was by her parents, as few as she had of her mother, and as hard as it was to only leave the positive ones of him that didn’t reveal him as Grima. His coat was his final gift to his daughter, his final words to her a request for her to hold on tightly to her dragonstone and that they would meet again soon, he promises. Unspoken words that he is sorry that she has so few memories of her mother, and yet so many of a monster like him, but that he hopes that his past self will be much better than him, and that her and Tiki will finally get to bond.

That is one thing Grima reasons he did right, given how happy Morgan seems among the Shepherds, now with both parents and many new friends. His daughter is safe and happy, which is all he could of asked for.

- (Bonus: Yes, both versions are about as stable on their legs as you would expect for something whose legs are generally rather shaky. Both prefer swimming or flying over walking just because walking or running in dragon form tends to end with them tripping over at least once. He can manage to walk mostly fine if he focuses on it but.....even then, he tends to stumble a bit quite easily.)