#I don't even have my own computer anymore AND I GREATLY MISS IT

[larytello]

(( is the rest a 2% chance at finding it? ))

That depends...?

There's some good bunch of stuff about my old OCs posted somewhere in the depths of this Tumblr account and a few other sideblogs or actually other blogs I own (like Kouri Turtles and/or Neat Saviors, though this last one isn't much about OCs) I made a new sideblog to try and get back into RPing or just interacting through asks, but it's nowhere near ready yet. I haven't touched it in a couple ages by now. My friend Myrna is so gonna kill me at some point because of that lmao

I have a lot of things about my OCs that's just been in my mind and I never did anything about it.

And then there's the new Transformers OCs I have created during these last pandemic years, especially in the last 10 months or so, but the only thing one can find online so far is my fanfiction "Back To Life". I actually have planned like three fanfics + some side stories like spin offs and extra/bonus stuff, I have been coming up with ideas, lore, plots, developing the characters and stuff, I even drew some cool artworks and doodles and didn't publish them because they would be spoilers about the fanfics, BUUUUUT, ONLY ONE OC HAS MADE IT INTO THE STORY SO FAR. Others will come up soon, but the whole shit I have planned will flesh out only when I begin publishing the second fanfic.

Which I didn't start writing yet because I'm busy re-writing the first one as I publish it.

Which means everything I've been planning will take ages to come to light.

:')

I''d be happy to post more about all these little shits living rent free in my brain but I'm still trying to actually find my will to stay online. Most of my social media has been like a ghost town lately and I have no strength to keep creating content in a pace fast enough to be relevant in the eyes of the all-mighty algorithm which decides if you're worth exposition in the search tools or not. I feel no motivation to do anything about all this, it's annoying tbh.

Also thanks for the ask, I wasn't expecting anyone to be up now, it's past 3 AM here and it's one of those times when I really don't see anyone active/online... Wow

[moyokeansimblr]

Get to know you: Sims Style

Well I was patiently waiting to be tagged but it's not happened yet and @isimchi "tagged" anyone who hasn't so that means me 😁

What’s your favorite Sims death?

I mean, I have to say drowning. I have many a memory of my childhood best friend and I batch creating like 100 sims with the sole purpose to drown and make haunted lots... Surely we all did that though, right?

Alpha CC or Maxis Match?

These days I'm maxis match, and in particular my cc is 90-95% 4t2 stuff. Sometimes I miss non-clay hairs but not enough that I'd wanna switch back. I'm actually extremely happy with my game aesthetic at the moment. I see the appeal of alpha and I am alpha in sims 3 but I don't think I could go back to it in sims 2 anymore.

Do you cheat your sims weight?

Not directly... occasionally I've dragged needs up so a sim will exercise longer when they want/need a body skill because when it's not fall the body skill takes FOREVER to gain. So then they'll end up exercising so long that they get fit where they might not otherwise have. That's as close as I'd get to cheating their weight though.

Do you move objects?

I mean, yes. I both move objects and moveobjects. 😉 (although I've had the cheat alias "mon/mof" (yes, one f) for ages I don't even remember the proper way to type the cheat.

Favorite Mod?

Hmm that's tough. Some staples I couldn't live without are sim blender, ACR, monique's hacked computers, all the no regen mods, the auto saver, gussy up, and for some reason smonaff's period mod is the mod I've had in my game longer than anything else I have now. Been using that since the 2000s. Is it necessary? Probably not. Is it annoying? Yes but periods are annoying irl too. Would I miss it if I didn't have it in my game? Greatly.

First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack?

My parents bought the sims 1 on release when I was 3, and then at some point shortly thereafter I ended up entirely hijacking my mom's computer. But while they did buy every pack on release as well, the earliest pack that I still have solid memories of playing is Vacation. Is that all it was called? I think non-US versions had a cooler name like On Holiday or something.

Do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing?

Ya know... I've never really thought about it until now but both. Sometimes I say LIVE and sometimes LIV. I don't know what goes on in my brain to decide which one I'm gonna say at any given point but I know for fact I say both.

Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made?

I've had many favorite sims over the years, most long lost into the void. But one sim I think about a lot is one of my old ts3 sims Levi Engle. He was one of my first truly evil sims and really one of my last proper edgy sims as well and I've not had anyone quite like him since. This was like 2016 I think? I'm still waiting to have a sim like him again, in either 3 or 2. "Made" is not quite accurate, he was born. But he's one of my own, not a premade.

Have you made a simself?

Oh have I.

Which is your favorite EA hair color?

Red. Specifically since I prefer 4t2 clay hairs in EA's colors these days the red that's swatch 9. This one.

Favorite EA hair?

Hmmm... In ts2

And in ts3

Favorite life stage?

Young Adult, in all versions of the game. University is my favorite EP across the board.

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

Gameplay. Every so often I feel build-y, and I have made entire custom worlds in ts3 and hoods in ts2 where I've build everything myself but mostly I prefer to just use other people's or the game's builds and just enjoy playing.

Are you a CC creator?

I sometimes feel kind of weird using the word "creator" since all I do is convert stuff but yes. I share cc.

Do you have any Simblr friends or a Sim Squad?

I don't know? I have some mutuals that I go like 😁 whenever I see in my notifs or messages from. But I don't really exactly talk to anybody.

Do you have any sims merch?

I've got a blanket with plumbbobs on it and my brother's girlfriend got me a sheet of ts4 stickers I've not used yet. Otherwise, do all the old discs and prima guides count? My discs are the most important things I own.

Do you have a YouTube for sims?

Not really. I have a youtube channel that's a hodgepodge for both my eurovision ranking videos and the occasional sims thing. But I'm not a sims youtuber at all.

How has your “Sims style” changed throughout your years of playing?

Oh boy, it has a lot. When I was a kid I destroyed pleasantview with fairy and mermaid cc from "UserDeb" on the Exchange and SapphireSims2 I think it was called? Mad emo cc and like households where it'd be two families living together so the teen girl and teen boy could secretly meet together in the dead of night in the bathroom. Back then lots of one-off totally unrelated families in an otherwise empty custom hood that I'd play for the duration of a random idea I had then drop. Then in the 2010s I had a long stint of this like making 8 YA girls and 8 YA boys and pairing them up and then graduate and marry and kid and then create 8 more YAs in CAS and repeat and that got like 15 generations once. I did that kind of not really playing but more just like breeding for years. Whereas whenever I'd stop playing 2 and play 3 instead I would "properly play" and have long ass legacies. I never touched the premade sims until I tried to play Pleasantview in 2020. I did have a few failed megahoods then. Now I am wants-based and I prefer to have as little control as possible over my sims. I could say a lot more here but I'm tired.

Who’s your favorite CC creator?

Talk about a hard question! For times sake I'm going to say @deedee-sims because when I deleted my 48+ GB folder of alpha CC to start anew maxis match-y the first new CC I had was everything of DeeDee's.

What expansion/gamepack is your favorite?

ts2 University. I just love it.

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I don't know who has and hasn't done this since I feel like I'm late as I never got the tag. But since I really wanted to do it, I'm sure someone else who hasn't been tagged wants to too. So if you've not done it, go for it!!

[kuvvydraws]

I'm not sure if you've answered this question already, but I'm honestly very curious- why do you write fanfiction? I certainly enjoy it as much as you and have written a few things of my own, but I know it can be quite a personal topic for many writers. If it's too personal for you, don't feel any pressure to answer, but it's always interesting to see the writer's perspective outside of the story they've written :). I hope you understand what I'm trying to say-

Hey!

I actually enjoy the words and the rush your brain gets when they join without effort to create a reality.

Now, let me break that down XD

I've always had a book in my hands as far as my memory goes. My dad used to read to me when I was very little and from the second I could do it on my own, that was the best thing ever (yes, that means when I was punished for doing some shit, my books were taken away and I had to sneak them into my schoolbag and read in class like a heathen).

Not only I enjoyed books but I always found myself wanting to partake in the stories, and my brain was always running with the words and the scenes. (I discovered during my teenage years that brains have different ways to process thoughts and mine did it in words, so writing just sort of came naturally to me at that point in my life).

I discovered ffnet when I was 12, I think, but I had tried my hand at original works (that is, about five or six starts of different novels that never saw the light) and some "fanfiction" (about Nightmare Before Christmas because I had a big ass crush on Jack and I unassumingly created my first xReader ever) without knowing what the hell I was doing.

I just knew I wanted to write stuff and I did as much.

The thing is, I introduced one of my friends, who also loved to read and write, to ffnet, and we started writing together. The first thing we wrote was a Sesshomaru x OC fic, the second one was a Sasori x OC fic, and we dipped out toes into some Kuroshitsuji x OC...... all of them handwritten stories we promised we would type in a computer eventually (we didn't, they were horrible [I still have the notebooks we used for each of them and they are cringey as fuck]).

But we wrote for ourselves and we were happy like that.

So we were rampant and wild and having the best time. Back then I still wrote in Spanish (because I hardly knew any English and I didn't care for it), and I remember mixing Spain's Spanish with the ones from South America because obviously the percentage of writers in ffnet who used a different "dialect" Spanish was huge if you compare a single, tiny country with a whole continent.

At the same time I wrote with my friend, I wrote for myself. Naruto, Kuroshitsuji, Bleach, Hetalia.... And I met so many people, nice people, who loved my works (they were random fics, all of them x OC because I didn't know x Reader ones were a thing -they weren't at that time, and x Reader are harder to write in Spanish because all the words and pronouns are gendered one way or another-) and I got so much enjoyment from sharing them.

The thing about books I love the most is the fact that you can convey so many emotions with a few symbols, and you can create worlds out of ink and you can change views and inspire others. So, if none of my dumbass teenage novels were to roam the word, I still could share, in a free, open and fast way, my words with others.

Again, I was going to write them with or without posting them because I found -and still find- great pleasure when a scene creates itself in your brain and all you have to do to make it real is to write it down. (Sometimes my brain still does this and even when I'm daydreaming, my imagination is "written, described and dialogued" as if someone was reading a novel out loud. It makes writing so much easier).

And then I got hate.

I somehow had managed to miss all of the fandom drama that's so toxic in the internet because I didn't bother to interact with anyone in the fandoms beyond the reviews they left in my fics, and ffnet has a -sort of- specific search engine to help you find whatever you want, so I could never willingly find the "problematic stuff" because I was literally not trying to find it.

The hate comment I got was anonymous and very specific about everything that was wrong in a particular fic I had just updated -from plot and characterization to grammar and continuity-, and later on I discovered it came from a couple of authors who shared an account and who I admired greatly for their works. Turns out they were out for blood and hating on every fic that had updated that week and that had any members of their OTP shipped with some other character. (It was a Hetalia fanfic, I was writing SpUK and they were pro FrUk, if anyone is interested).

I was contacted by some other authors asking about this because they had gone through the very same thing -same specific hate, same hate comment- and I remember not giving a fuck.

I was 16 when I got the hate, writing for fun and trying to find a way to go through my shitty highschool days without falling into the black out of depression that haunted me. I remember not wanting to write anything anymore, leaving a fic I was very invested in writing to gather dust and rot in the forgotten folders of my computer because every time I tried to get on with it and progress, it felt wrong.

That thing I said about words just happening? It stopped. My brain was silent as a grave and trying to get my words out became painful. I remember struggling to even write regular project for my school.

I kept reading, of course -it was my only comfort and I really, really didn't want to give up on it-, but I abandoned the fandoms I enjoyed so much before. My new focus became the sci-fi, and I remember being hooked on Predator. Imagine my joy when I discovered there were thousands of works from that fandom! I was extasic.

Problem? They were written in English.

I didn't know shit about English besides being a language I was supposed to handle in school, memorize the unreasonably spelt words that were pronounced illogically regarding the fucking spelling and the stupid ass irregular verbs.

But I learnt English because I wanted a hot piece of alien ass XD

Back to the topic of fanfics, I still roamed ffnet, keeping 15 tabs open and reading until 5 am... But now there was a world of possiblities in front of me because of course everyone on this goddamn Earth writes in English.

So, for the next years I did that, and my words didn't come. It was fine, tho, because I had so many new things to read.

It wasn't until fall of 2018 that I dabbed into the idea of maybe considering to perhaps give writing a try again????? I was neck deep into Undertale -still am, I'm a shameless skeleton fucker and there's no cure for that shit- and its many AU's and somehow I had managed to avoid fandom wars again, so my brain started toying with words... The same way it worked with novels: I got myself into the fics other people wrote (this is so much easier to do with x Reader fics, and I'm so happy about that and the massive boom they had just when Undertale came out, you can't even understand it).

So I kept doing my shit and daydreaming about skeletons and ribs and ecto-stuff for a very long time. It was kinda reassuring and nice to see other writers projecting on their x Readers so much because that's what I had done before.

And then Good Omens happened.

As I've said before, I actually discovered Gomens back in 2012 and it is, to the date, the worst translation to Spanish I've seen in my entire life to this date. And, despite it, I fell in love with it.

Now, barely in 2019, my dad gets Amazon Prime and the first thing he fucking sees is the font of Gomens on the screen. I had fangirled hard about Gomens in book version, so much and so annoyingly that I wouldn't leave my dad alone until he gave it a chance. It's the only book my father hasn't finished because the translation is that bad. He hates it.

Yet.

The particular font they use for the show is the same from the book's title. My dad of course recognized it immediately and knew I would want in on the news.

I confess I watched Gomens the show at least seven times before giving it a break because I liked it so much and the novel was so fucking good and it's honest to God the best adaptation I've ever seen to the screen. It's so good I'm fucking sure I was crying actual tears after watching it for the first time because my dreams and all the feelings that book had given me over the years and the many re-reads were "true" and so well done and it reached deep into my heart.

And then, for the first time in six years, my words came back.

Another thing Good Omens has given me, I have to say.

I don't know if I can stress this enough, but just imagine spending six years of radio silence, sending longing stares to the void and hoping to see something yours returning back, something you've lost and you're not sure you're getting back, something you think you don't need or want but that would be nice to have again. If only. You can live without that something, and no one but you cares about it, and it's not that big of a deal and-

Then you see a spark in the dark.

My words came back.

They weren't in Spanish, and it was hard to manage them at first, only being able to listen to them in short bursts over long periods of time.

But they were my words and they were back.

Writing is still hard, and I have a lot of work to do to improve my skills, to get them not only back but to refine them because I'm not writing in my native language and all I know is what I've learnt from other authors and their knowledge. I project a lot on my projects -I don't intend to stop because it's such a relief, the biggest scape from reality I get by doing so; it helps me deal with my problems, it gives me a break and a way to take a breath when I can't keep going...

Fanfics are where I can say what I want to say to the world in the most honest way, and that allows me to be me, and to express myself and indulge in the fantasies I dream about without having to force myself to think of them over and over and over. I can just sit back and enjoy content I know I like without being judged for it.

I can fucking make that content, too.

Writing feels like home, even if sometimes I still struggle, if I can't find my words or the expression is not quite like that in English, or if I can't find the words or if I'm suffering a block... because there's nothing scarier and more free than a blank page ready to be written.