#I don't know why but nhs is super hard to write from lwj's pov??

[ibijau]

More of LWJ is forced to accept an engagement to Nie Huaisang to keep A-Yuan.

part 1 + on AO3

Whatever else he had become, Lan Xichen still did not lie. Before the day was over, A-Yuan had been brought to the Jingshi. The boy had been too quiet, too calm. He had smiled when Lan Wangji told him that they would live together, that he would be his father, but the smile had been so uncertain it had broken his heart.

That boy who wasn’t even quite four had already suffered too much.

But as days and weeks passed, A-Yuan started smiling more easily, though he remained quieter than Lan Wangji remembered him being. He dared not ask his son about his time in the Burial Mounds and the siege. If A-Yuan ever mentioned it in the future then Lan Wangji would answer all his questions. Until then, perhaps some things were best left forgotten. 

While Lan Wangji did not ask questions, A-Yuan had plenty of curiosity to offer. Even without speaking, he found ways to make it clear when he wanted to be told about something. He really was Wei Wuxian's son. They might not have the same blood, but A-Yuan shared his father's eagerness to learn and understand, and would not give up until he had been given an explanation of some sort. 

It was important, anyway, to encourage children to learn and expand their mind, or so said some of his readings.

Lan Wangji had known Wei Wuxian would never come to Gusu, but he had still set out to learn a little about raising children. The thought had crossed his mind sometimes that he could drop everything and go to Yiling. He had only stopped himself out of consideration for his sect, and because he had been unsure Wei Wuxian would have wanted him there. Still, he had prepared for it, reading about farming, about being a parent. If things had come to that, he would have been ready.

He had not gone to live in Yiling, but his preparations had not been entirely useless in the end. It helped him do his best for A-Yuan.

And so life, like this, wasn’t so bad. Not great (never great, not when Wei Wuxian was dead and the world would have danced on his tomb, had he been given one) but still not bad, and that was something.

Lan Wangji, safe inside his house with his son, having no visitor but the servant who brought their meals and the healer who took care of his back, might have forgotten that this fragile peace would need to be paid for.

After nearly two months had passed, his brother came one evening to announce that Nie Mingjue had arrived in Cloud Recesses to negotiate the engagement. As per Lan Wangji’s request, he had brought Nie Huaisang with him so the future spouses might have a conversation.

“If you wish, I can arrange for someone to watch over Lan Yuan,” Lan Xichen offered. “I imagine the discussion might turn to subjects that do not concern a child.”

Lan Wangji carefully considered the offer. He knew that his brother was thinking of marital arrangements, but there was little to speak of. They would be husbands in name only. If Nie Huaisang appeared to expect more, Lan Wangji would make his lack of interest clear or find ways to stop this ridiculous engagement from happening. A-Yuan was young enough that he would not understand this.

But if they spoke of Wei Wuxian… It seemed too soon to expose A-Yuan to the reputation of the man who had adopted him.

At the same time, the idea of A-Yuan away from him was unbearable. Who could he trust with his son in the Lan sect, especially as they were all planning this marriage he did not want? 

Two months with his son only confirmed what Lan Wangji had already suspected. There was little he wouldn’t do for his child, for Wei Wuxian’s child. Until the marriage was secured and he had fulfilled his part of the deal, Lan Wangji could not take risks.

“Lan Yuan will stay,” he announced at last. 

The Jingshi was large enough anyway, and A-Yuan was a good child. If Lan Wangji asked him to stay put and play quietly, he would.

It was clearly not the answer Lan Xichen had been hoping for, but he nodded calmly and did not insist. Perhaps he understood Lan Wangji’s fears, once again.

That should have been the end of their conversation, but Lan Xichen lingered a moment more. There was something very much like uncertainty on his face. An unusual expression coming from him. Lan Wangji was ready to enquire about that, but his brother spoke first.

“Wangji, tomorrow… be kind to Nie Huaisang.”

Lan Wangji shot his brother a surprised look, but Lan Xichen would not meet his eyes.

“He did not choose this any more than you did,” his brother stated. “I have reasons to suspect he wants this as little as you do. But... we were all born into power. It comes at a cost that we must be willing to pay.”

Lan Wangji did not ask what price his brother had paid for his position. The answer no longer interested him. 

After this, his brother did not stay long. It was no surprise. Lan Xichen had never liked that house to begin with.

In the morning, A-Yuan was given some toys and told to stay out of his father’s room until Lan Wangji called for him. He seemed disappointed that there was a guest and he was not allowed to meet them, but Lan Wangji insisted. There would be time later for A-Yuan to meet the man who would enter their family.

When a servant brought him inside the Jingshi, Nie Huaisang was very much as Lan Wangji remembered him. A small man with a face too delicate to be handsome, wearing clothes too ornate to be practical. Even if he had not met Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji could never have pictured himself marrying such a frivolous person.

Still, he could make an effort to be polite. Leaving his bed for long periods of time was still impossible, but Lan Wangji at least sat up and nodded to the other man. Even that much movement pulled on his scabs unpleasantly.

“Hanguang-Jun, I am glad to find you are well,” Nie Huaisang greeted him with a short bow. “That is, you’re better than I expected, anyway. The thing people have been saying! But I’ll spare you the gossip, I know it’s forbidden here.”

Without waiting for an invitation, Nie Huaisang went to grab a cushion and sat near the bed. He pulled out a fan he used on himself with slow, lazy gestures, making himself quite at home. It would be his home soon, Lan Wangji realised. The thought was unpleasant. He did not want to share his mother’s house with someone who was nearly a stranger.

“I’ve been told that your brother is particularly in favour of the match,” Nie Huaisang said when Lan Wangji remained silent too long.

Lan Wangji nodded. Nie Huaisang’s fan stilled for a moment. He pinched his lips, took a shaky breath, and smiled again, his fan resuming its movement.

“Interesting, interesting. This marriage… I do not think it is all that great, politically speaking. Not with that brotherhood serment already there, but what do I know? If everyone says it’s good, then it must be.”

“You disagree.”

“For selfish reasons only,” Nie Huaisang chuckled awkwardly. “I don’t want to get married to someone who’ll never love me. Then again, my chances for a love match are low to begin with, and I’m not too interesting politically when people would rather marry my brother. Maybe this isn’t so bad. The Nie elders have suggested far worse candidates than you, and I’ve always liked Gusu. I always thought I’d like to live here, given the chance. Yes, I think I can have you as my husband, if I have to. What about you? Do you think I’ll do?”

Lan Wangji hesitated, searching for a way to explain he did not care who he married anymore, so long as he could keep Lan Yuan to his side. The only spouse he might have wanted was dead, not that Wei Wuxian had ever shown any interest in him to begin with. What was going on now was only politics and he didn’t care, as long as it remained politics.

“Separate beds,” he stated, which wasn’t nearly close to all he wanted to say.

Nie Huaisang hid behind his fan to laugh, so loud it had to be breaking rules.

“For sure! No offence Hanguang-Jun, but I’d never… You’re not far from my type, but not quite it either. And anyway, I know I’m not yours.”

Something constricted inside Lan Wangji’s chest. It was one thing for his brother and uncle to know. They had seen him in that cave. They knew him. He was not sure he liked the idea that anyone else might have realised.

His panic must have shown somehow, because Nie Huaisang stopped laughing and quickly closed his fan.

“Ah don’t worry, I haven’t told anyone!” he squeaked. “I know about… I wouldn’t tell anyone! But that’s why, right? For them to suddenly want to marry you off like this, even to me... and people say you helped him in Nightless City, and you’re bedridden from receiving lashes, and I… I remember how you’d look at him when we were young, and at banquets when he still attended those.”

The weight pressing down Lan Wangji’s lungs increased. He felt no shame over his love for Wei Wuxian, but he knew others would find something to say against it, would shift the blame on Wei Wuxian, would claim the Yiling Patriarch had seduced one of the Jade Brothers and turned him against his clan in Nightless City.

His own reputation did not matter, but Lan Wangji hated that Wei Wuxian’s might suffer again, and by his fault.

“You never spoke for him at those banquets,” Lan Wangji accused, desperate to change the subject. 

Again Nie Huaisang laughed, an uncomfortable little chuckle, his eyes avoiding Lan Wangji’s.

“Who would listen to me if they didn’t listen to the mighty Hanguang-Jun? And anyway, I’m forbidden from talking at gatherings, because I only say nonsense and bother people. But… ah, it’s easy to say that now, right? So believe me or not, that’s your problem. But really, I wish I could have done something. Only, someone like me… what could I have done?”

Lan Wangji did not react outwardly. 

In his heart, he calmly labelled Nie Huaisang a coward, and likely a pushover. Both things he had known already from the other man's time as a guest disciple. Now it was confirmed. He would not be able to count on his husband for anything of importance. 

He had not expected to.

On the other hand, it did not seem like Nie Huaisang would be actively working against him either. That was a relief of sorts. It would make their match a less unpleasant one. With some luck, Lan Xichen might be convinced to let Nie Huaisang have his own house instead of living in the Jingshi. Since neither of them could bear a child, there was no need to keep up appearances. 

With all this settled, Lan Wangji accepted his fate. He would marry Nie Huaisang. 

Just as he was about to share that conclusion, he heard Nie Huaisang cry out. 

“Oh, we have a spy!” Nie Huaisang exclaimed, sounding delighted as he pointed to a small head poking from behind a screen. “So you really have a son! I thought my brother had finally learned to joke.”

A-Yuan gasped at being discovered, and ran away to hide before Lan Wangji could remind him he had promised not to come into view. It must have been too much to ask of a child that young and that curious. 

“Did I scare him?” Nie Huaisang asked with a pout. “Too bad. But they’re so shy at that age, aren’t they? How old is he? I’ll have to show him I’m nice. Hanguang-Jun, what does your son like? I’ll try to buy him things next time I visit. What's his name?"

"Lan Yuan," Lan Wangji said, picking one question to answer. 

He steeled himself for an interrogation about his son, especially since Nie Huaisang knew about Wei Wuxian. None came. 

"Lan Yuan," Nie Huaisang repeated. "A-Yuan. I really hope I didn't scare him too bad. Can I be introduced to him? Does he know about the wedding? You shouldn't wait too long to tell him. Children are sensitive to these things. I've heard Mingjue cried for a week when he learned his father would marry my mother. Ah! Wait, wait, pretend I didn't say that! I don't think I'm supposed to tell that story… hm, but you'll soon be family so it's fine, right?"

"Not today," Lan Wangji replied. "Lan Yuan. You're not meeting him today." 

To his surprise, Nie Huaisang nodded. 

"You're right, of course you're right. You need to explain to him first. And it must be tiring for you to be sitting this long, right? I'd better leave you alone for now. Still, do call for me if you decide your son is ready to meet me. The negotiation will take at least a week, maybe more. It's a big deal, there's a lot for them to argue about."

"Hm."

Nie Huaisang stared at him, and grimaced. 

"You really aren't one for conversation, uh?" he sighed, some slight bitterness seeping through his cheerful facade. "Ah well. We'll make do. Even like this, you're still the least awful person they've wanted to marry me to, so I won't complain." 

"Hm. You'll do as well." 

Nie Huaisang really wasn't anything he wanted in a spouse, but it could have been worse. 

Still, Lan Wangji was relieved when the other man finally took his leave and silence returned to the Jingshi. He only broke it to call for his son. A-Yuan came running and climbed into bed to curl up against him. The little boy looked worried, as if he thought he would be scolded for disobeying. Lan Wangji probably should have said something. He did not, and instead laid down, mindful of his wounds, and pulled his son close against his chest. 

Later, he would try explaining to A-Yuan that his life was about to change again. Hopefully the little boy would not be too distressed by the news of a stranger barging into the peaceful haven they had created for themselves. After so much had already happened, it felt cruel to force A-Yuan to go through this as well. 

But it was the price to pay for the two of them to be a family, and Lan Wangji knew his son was brave enough to handle it.