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#I ended up just going ''you know cats?'' which to his everlasting credit he understood almost immediately
e-6000 · 2 years
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#littletalks.txt#went out with a guy (casual friend) a few weeks back and I wasn't sure about it at the time bc#I like him but he's like Velcro#which is fine except that I am very much not#and so like the date itself went pretty well but I was a bit overwhelmed by *things* and then he had finals and I've just been#having my ass kicked by the big sad‚ so we hadn't really been able to see each other much since#we play magic the gathering with a group on Thursdays and Sundays which is how we met (and then there was a whole thing with a-#Halloween party which really was more of an inciting incident but I'd been catching feelings lowkey for a minute but I digress)#but he hadn't been at magic too much recently bc‚ again‚ finals. but they're finally over for him so he was there yesterday and I wasn't#[I was there‚ idk why the tag ended like that probably lost my train of thought]#and we sort of ironed things out. he's a good egg I think#very attentive‚ he notices things. I have a hard time verbally articulating things at the best of times and he picked up on it and we#conversed over notes app for a minute trying to clear things up#biggest issue is physical touch#touch is like his big love language‚ he just loves to cuddle‚ which is great except that I am easily overwhelmed esp in social situations#my main love language tends to be quality time which is where the confusion I think came in#bc for him touch is for its own sake whereas for me it's an extension of being present with a person‚ a physical sort of ''I'm here!''#but we were in a loud situation and I was very overwhelmed and couldn't figure out how to word it well so after trying for a minute (badly)#I ended up just going ''you know cats?'' which to his everlasting credit he understood almost immediately#all of this is to say that I think this might work out?#idk I just have to get this off my chest and the trusty old blog is like my stupid little diary lol
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topbeautifulwomens · 6 years
Text
#I’m #Leaving #You #anime #acting #dancefloor #funnymemes #live #makeuplover #meme #photographer #sketch #taekwondogirl
I AM IN THE MAGMA CORE Inside of the laundry place under the developing with the refreshing odor of Tide detergent on my fingers in the aromatic spring air blowing in the undisplay screened window obtaining cosmetic in each and everyworking day functions which includes carrying out the laundry inside of a confined scenario never publishing but currently being and being once more though torture finals for yrs and even a lot more many years I’m not existing in opposition to you here is easily named I’M LEAVING YOU
I climb back again down the cross back up the partitions the place I’m driven towards my confront and breasts my acheful nose is throbbing I climb out of the yellow satin Devil coffin where I am choking on dry smoky air you’ve been smoking cigarettes Marlboros in my coffin I got you out I free of billed you And you shut the lid on me And I could not escape the suffocation I own the base as I incorporate been there all alengthy it isn’t really ever submission but an ascension on the cross I climmattress back down to Hades my residence to obtain absent from you
I understood Lucifer in element Throughout your mercisignificantly less challenging eyes I was in your upper body nevertheless in tranquil innocence I dwelled as Christ when it grew to become
also much I escaped as a female Christ at occasions a boy Christ insisting the one-time crucifying be an quick launch IT WASN’T SO I AM LEAVING YOU It is entirely ever LEAVING TU LEAVING YOU LEAVING VOUS
It is a horrible drama I painting but the black Prince of Darkness mask I wear my nakedness my little one’s human body my tenderness are my real rage You put me in open up air graves with no coffin Merely dust or low cost plywood once I comprehendd I experienced arrived at a new low in life I had to dig my way up to get out Astay
You ate evening meal although I lay in the world I noticed the heat pleasant light-weights that excluded me from the eating room once more I felt black while I starved outside the house under the chilly soil I saw you sitting down uncaring taking in and smiling the Arab smile I utilised to like earlier maybe you were happy but it was the Holocaust for me it truly is too late for a rescue, pointless to say
It is a rolling wheelchair exit I acknowledge traveling down the Sausalito freeway to Santa Monica where the bitch was in my route as I wheel out the door you were position guiding her locating the exact level the sunshine emerges in situation I could one day see from inside a dim criminal offense alley trash pile that he set me down on sitting with the homeless black men and ending my clean fish bones from a very good fish sandwich with tobasco I could have choked but did not you hoped I might choke but like the happy cat who still left with satisfstep I AM LEAVING YOU
The fresh scent of Tide on my apparel And my burdened pores and skin-sjourneyped hands The dryer sheet a rough tissue for my nose The tears I have shed for the agonies an sudden reward of deliberately wilted bouquets Are a wracking BOUNDING pain in my head an ever-tightening gold and silver steel band probably copper perhaps American pewter the hefty mesh of an armored Crusades fit I am donning on my slim have toers becoming a headache torture professional I had to compose and studies a new corporate aspirin merchandise for the aid of my migraine as well as yours I ended the pain by strolling away
Nonetheless the fresh freshness lifts me up on to the unfound highway Without having credit score for my work last year ahead of this year’s hypnosis paralyzed me A dropped real truth by way of pressured walk excusions in the open air It was a psychological establishment and you pushed the wheelchair as the admitting medical doctor As I depart you once more it’s going to not issue how a lot of times I have attempted even though it seems to be like a life-style to leave you since as I roll out the door I AM STILL LEAVING YOU
They knocked me off the ascension they pushed me off the elevator ramp as I rolled by the motherfuckers sitting in my wheelchair I screeched like a snowy wstrikee owl flying through the roof as both the satan a witch or a saint I am not positive to this day if I was saintly or not as I flew off the cross with rage yet yet another time on the uphill road to my independent victory and my independent action (IA) the WPA is still the work technique of my autonomy
anytime I tried to start you threw me out of the 3-ring circus again it was my only home other than the coffin I was homeless I had to pick early in between a jail or a coffin I selected the coffin under duress people were never my real choices You pushed on me another white straw hat and a matching striped jacket a whipped existence you explained I had gained Boy, they all informed me to at the very least neglect the straw hat because I told them I required the jacket
my own conscience was conversing I WALKED OUT AS THE FLY THEN an insect apparition my attendees said it was the damned coat I was wearing to take the nazi image off my chest once and for all as it is a branding iron
slipping on the ramp they had set out to trip me standing like an apparition by my vacant wheelchair I flew off the cross with a fluent rage it was a good come to experience as I tipped the sands of time in the hourglass for another hour to take an surplus breath I am alive not lifeless and strolling through the abandoned saloon doors into a caboveed wagon reality risk-free from the dry dusty sandstorm obscuring your venom like a rattlesnake shut my throat
Not a pyhrric victory this time close to The arid red saloon doors I photographed As a set up in Santa Fe were in the porno online video I once owned documenting my loss of life The swinging gate was not really a door once again you hit me as I entered the action another time and called it caring even making use of the term Enjoy I was never a slave You only owned the empty air between your violent hands The dirt in your pockets the lint on your PC screen was put there by me the present abused witch
I am the air I am the wind I fly like a missing Sabbath I am the air I am the wind I fly like Satan I fly like Jesus I fly like a Brahmin I fly like Buddha I fly like Mohammed I fly like a Sufi journey algeared up taken I am the air I am the wind the holy witch wind I fly like Hitler like Hitler’s daughter
I am a wind tunnel with leaves flying upward I ascend back down and up again through the righteous material of my own almost-destroyed coat by you it’s winter season and I need it it was a witch wind that blew my hat to me even so, to get away from you I will be Jesus again what a last choice it is to regain up on the crucifix again it seems to be a way of life to leave you I can’t get one thing accomplished because I AM ALWAYS LEAVING YOU
I am a minutiae, I am a militia, a cognizant road Not a spiritualist not a quietly spoken or even a very loud nun I am a black patch on a sailor’s eye hiding intent I steal the thefts you stole from me back for me to sustain myself I steal from you as you stole my cash I steal every thing I own from you with delight not fret but backup
Cigarette burns on my arms therapeutic through my large persistence level using a pain evaluate you took just lately It was not Jesus but ME it was ALWAYS ME residing through the burns standing with a immediately back a relaxed voice and a ready smile I was a quite girl with burns It wasn’t Jesus but ME He walked off the cross with me that day I retained his hand IT WAS ALWAYS ME who will ALWAYS LEAVE YOU I requires this to the Justice Courtroom of the Universe for what you have done to me these days
You negated my existence I could not walk out of the door ever with no you beside me all together through my deranged childhood I have had to resolve humanity’s complications through your problems Each and every time I had a friend, one friend for even one instant you criticized me for having a foundation of assist I am leaving you, the Nazi You appeared at me as if I were benefit A billion $$ bucks $$ – and I was I knew you’d get rid of me to keep me Even though I was tied up I came for free plus some To get out of there
The veils you have wrapped around my face are promontory mound scarves often revealing the concealed existence of digital cameras but I always knew the photographer for your porno he said that you are truthfully keeping my by now desecrated camera every time I thought of you I threw the veils down wrapped them wadded up the cheap polyester fabric into an unattractive rolled ball I spat on the veiled ball hurling the light into the encompassed replicate a disappearing symbol of an unmarked grave you pushed me up against that wailing wall I AM LEAVING YOU
I’m back in the coffin peering out from the brown dirt on my skin again listening for creaking seems around the lid My stolen home is my fulcrum point when was my body a temple like in the Bible just once? I’m slicing him off because I am not a Barbie Doll beauty without a brain He can look at what he previously stole not at me I am standing up in a rigorous box a black box a white boxed Rubik’s dice I was forced to solve in relocating cabs My neck hurts and I know I am in the cheap plywood coffin you purchased me One particular for a longer time I live in the everlasting darkness of the deep nicht arab evening I search for the waning light rising up like an ant on a minimalist journey I’m climbing off the ant farm through the silted sifted soil of Europe
I am back in the magma main again climbing up Mt. Vesuvius as a cockroach with a black ash streak mark on my brow from the occult I knew through sacrifice I was the ritual torture target becoming the victorious fowl dancer and a from time to time satanic interpreter Back again again hunting out of the hole My hole – it my complete tender respiratory living whole soul – My Soul (w)hole
I was living in a hatred home because you were living there until finally recently you were holding me hostage Your raging cold constant hatred of me my vagina my back and my front my whole breathing tune a typeer loving child now a vigilant female with a chilled reply and song repertoire I was a girl you never witnessed my have faith in Due to the fact nothing at all ever alterations I AM LEAVING YOU I was more than the small Nazi girl all along
You tried to generate me a pimp and absolutely everyone’s whore on the closed circuit TV with concealed internet and satellite spycams it was a visible virtual rape while I had to be both God and a prostitute to fulfill you the white man even though you never talked to me I had to steal my own thoughts from me while believing I was you, the pimp, not me at all I was negated and wearing your name as my identification always reporting my transgressions to you the white magic formula law enforcement while you manufactured me shell out illegally I cracked the hypnosis Da Vinci code
I thank God I do not know you any more I never did know you because you only forced me with brutality to say I knew you when I don’t publicly you said I am not a citizen and are not able to act then you said I am a slave or a servant-slave what the hell is that? a new group for my position as a woman? as I clean the mirror in our home I realize what you indicatet and toss the rag down even the paper towels I throw them on the ground putting my blue Windex spray area cleaner away permanently even though it is new and I walk away from our unmade bed
I will redefine the ceiling as I stand over you I will redefine the ceiling as the floor while I dance a spinning whirling dervish dance a gorgeous little girl’s wild dance on top of your head You will not know I am alive EVEN THOUGH I stand outside your dungeon with the keys You won’t hear from me in the potential because I am leaving you. SAYONARA I AM LEAVING YOU GOODBYE YOU MOTHERFUCKER I AM LEAVING YOU
I am back in the front back in the center of your crappy car sitting in the backseat not thankful at all why should I be grateful? Grateful for what? it was all improper and I knew it was all wrong Waiting around for the dryer cycle to total I meticulously independent your clothes from mine because they’ve leprosy and even worse specifically the undies
Placing them neatly in your dresser drawer the top drawer, sure I seize my unexpected emergency funds and I walk out the door Towards manna towards heaven toward mecca Toward Bethlehem Toward the closest hamburger place To plan my escape from MY home which these times is always your jail walking with abandon and confidence down the independence road I don’t conclude to brush my hair or trouble with lip gloss smiling in the mirror
it’s a woman thing it’s a coronary heart thing it’s in my vagina that you will never know it’s my holy space and you are going to never know it
I am the Pope now as I leave you you threw the rocks too hard at me the girl standing on the wall you were a man, not a boy and the rocks were your brutal fists your distressing raging slaps you existed for meanness you were a massive terrifying rigid form following to me ready to hit me again as I lay in your cold cold bed I left you early – for the duration of the during the encountering breaths I take I left you already! but you didn’t know or care because it was never my bed only yours
I had no room to breathe and I slipped out from between the sheets early one early morning as you slept a deep satisfied rest I looked carefully at your no-guilt icy face I never went back to caring as which is how you caught me caring for you lying in your bed trapped between your legs you are a mean man with truly mean hands AND for this cause I AM LEAVING YOU I AM LEAVING YOU I AM LEAVING YOU I AM LEAVING YOU GOODBYE YOU LOSER GOODBYE. ADIOS. LATER. SEE YOU NEVER. ANOTHER TIME FOR LOVE
You poured a loam fertilizer product on what’s now international soil in our backyard I bought it in Hechingers for a family members backyard garden You didn’t wish Placing me in the cheap coffin again you said I am going to be back I didn’t be reluctant even so and climbed out of the coffin buried under a foreign place I never knew as our home before without my identity intact as you stole it everyday through violence expressed toward me my skin and my occasionaly delicate woman’s soul even kid’s soul at times
You were the doctor in a white mask at the opening to the grave exhuming tilling the soil almost packed down over me supplying to free me from bondage through a conscript program as some variety of welfare draftee It is euthanasia you said Provider or nothing less than suicide introducing “You’ve a fixation on death” and you put me in the medical center again “one more time we are going to do this” you remarked casually as a frigid stranger once more negating my will nonetheless hanging terror in my heart and disgust that always prevails when I need you to come through for me in a crisis you simply never do I AM LEAVING YOU
You made me feel like a servant while you were in my body a maid in hypnosis that I am not with a leash around my neck hopelessly pursuing you into ignominy and eventual death against my will and not able to speak with silent screams I left with my spirit into acquainted terrain not as an insect again
It is the abstruse point of watch Nothing at all you gave me was yours to give I already own everything Incorporating my entire body I own my face and my expressions on my face you couldn’t give me anything let on your own take anything away this is not said by me it is said by Jesus I may sound wonderful but I am not nice relating to this for fucking me over just once I am leaving you
There is certainly no final voiceover No voice overlay It was your voice drowning me in my life Just my voice Just mine It is always my voice I speak with It is mine only It is finally my beautiful voice I hear And it always was Mine. It truly is all mine. My voice is me. I’m being it for the future for my dad for my unborn child perhaps never born because I lost my voice once or more than 2 times and because I want to still feel in God for my peace of head and simply for myself I am leaving you I have already left you yesterday for the ugly bruises on my beautiful body that I can still see and feel I don’t stay tied up for long I had to walk out of my body to leave you Here is goodbye. Adios.
The post I’m Leaving You appeared first on Beautiful Women.
source http://topbeautifulwomen.com/im-leaving-you/
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topbeautifulwomens · 6 years
Text
#I’m #Leaving #You #adultmodel #dancing #fitness #illustration #instapic #makeupaddict #musician #ootd #photomodel #sexy
I AM IN THE MAGMA CORE Inside of the laundry place under the developing with the refreshing odor of Tide detergent on my fingers in the aromatic spring air blowing in the undisplay screened window obtaining cosmetic in each and everyworking day functions which includes carrying out the laundry inside of a confined scenario never publishing but currently being and being once more though torture finals for yrs and even a lot more many years I’m not existing in opposition to you here is easily named I’M LEAVING YOU
I climb back again down the cross back up the partitions the place I’m driven towards my confront and breasts my acheful nose is throbbing I climb out of the yellow satin Devil coffin where I am choking on dry smoky air you’ve been smoking cigarettes Marlboros in my coffin I got you out I free of billed you And you shut the lid on me And I could not escape the suffocation I own the base as I incorporate been there all alengthy it isn’t really ever submission but an ascension on the cross I climmattress back down to Hades my residence to obtain absent from you
I understood Lucifer in element Throughout your mercisignificantly less challenging eyes I was in your upper body nevertheless in tranquil innocence I dwelled as Christ when it grew to become
also much I escaped as a female Christ at occasions a boy Christ insisting the one-time crucifying be an quick launch IT WASN’T SO I AM LEAVING YOU It is entirely ever LEAVING TU LEAVING YOU LEAVING VOUS
It is a horrible drama I painting but the black Prince of Darkness mask I wear my nakedness my little one’s human body my tenderness are my real rage You put me in open up air graves with no coffin Merely dust or low cost plywood once I comprehendd I experienced arrived at a new low in life I had to dig my way up to get out Astay
You ate evening meal although I lay in the world I noticed the heat pleasant light-weights that excluded me from the eating room once more I felt black while I starved outside the house under the chilly soil I saw you sitting down uncaring taking in and smiling the Arab smile I utilised to like earlier maybe you were happy but it was the Holocaust for me it truly is too late for a rescue, pointless to say
It is a rolling wheelchair exit I acknowledge traveling down the Sausalito freeway to Santa Monica where the bitch was in my route as I wheel out the door you were position guiding her locating the exact level the sunshine emerges in situation I could one day see from inside a dim criminal offense alley trash pile that he set me down on sitting with the homeless black men and ending my clean fish bones from a very good fish sandwich with tobasco I could have choked but did not you hoped I might choke but like the happy cat who still left with satisfstep I AM LEAVING YOU
The fresh scent of Tide on my apparel And my burdened pores and skin-sjourneyped hands The dryer sheet a rough tissue for my nose The tears I have shed for the agonies an sudden reward of deliberately wilted bouquets Are a wracking BOUNDING pain in my head an ever-tightening gold and silver steel band probably copper perhaps American pewter the hefty mesh of an armored Crusades fit I am donning on my slim have toers becoming a headache torture professional I had to compose and studies a new corporate aspirin merchandise for the aid of my migraine as well as yours I ended the pain by strolling away
Nonetheless the fresh freshness lifts me up on to the unfound highway Without having credit score for my work last year ahead of this year’s hypnosis paralyzed me A dropped real truth by way of pressured walk excusions in the open air It was a psychological establishment and you pushed the wheelchair as the admitting medical doctor As I depart you once more it’s going to not issue how a lot of times I have attempted even though it seems to be like a life-style to leave you since as I roll out the door I AM STILL LEAVING YOU
They knocked me off the ascension they pushed me off the elevator ramp as I rolled by the motherfuckers sitting in my wheelchair I screeched like a snowy wstrikee owl flying through the roof as both the satan a witch or a saint I am not positive to this day if I was saintly or not as I flew off the cross with rage yet yet another time on the uphill road to my independent victory and my independent action (IA) the WPA is still the work technique of my autonomy
anytime I tried to start you threw me out of the 3-ring circus again it was my only home other than the coffin I was homeless I had to pick early in between a jail or a coffin I selected the coffin under duress people were never my real choices You pushed on me another white straw hat and a matching striped jacket a whipped existence you explained I had gained Boy, they all informed me to at the very least neglect the straw hat because I told them I required the jacket
my own conscience was conversing I WALKED OUT AS THE FLY THEN an insect apparition my attendees said it was the damned coat I was wearing to take the nazi image off my chest once and for all as it is a branding iron
slipping on the ramp they had set out to trip me standing like an apparition by my vacant wheelchair I flew off the cross with a fluent rage it was a good come to experience as I tipped the sands of time in the hourglass for another hour to take an surplus breath I am alive not lifeless and strolling through the abandoned saloon doors into a caboveed wagon reality risk-free from the dry dusty sandstorm obscuring your venom like a rattlesnake shut my throat
Not a pyhrric victory this time close to The arid red saloon doors I photographed As a set up in Santa Fe were in the porno online video I once owned documenting my loss of life The swinging gate was not really a door once again you hit me as I entered the action another time and called it caring even making use of the term Enjoy I was never a slave You only owned the empty air between your violent hands The dirt in your pockets the lint on your PC screen was put there by me the present abused witch
I am the air I am the wind I fly like a missing Sabbath I am the air I am the wind I fly like Satan I fly like Jesus I fly like a Brahmin I fly like Buddha I fly like Mohammed I fly like a Sufi journey algeared up taken I am the air I am the wind the holy witch wind I fly like Hitler like Hitler’s daughter
I am a wind tunnel with leaves flying upward I ascend back down and up again through the righteous material of my own almost-destroyed coat by you it’s winter season and I need it it was a witch wind that blew my hat to me even so, to get away from you I will be Jesus again what a last choice it is to regain up on the crucifix again it seems to be a way of life to leave you I can’t get one thing accomplished because I AM ALWAYS LEAVING YOU
I am a minutiae, I am a militia, a cognizant road Not a spiritualist not a quietly spoken or even a very loud nun I am a black patch on a sailor’s eye hiding intent I steal the thefts you stole from me back for me to sustain myself I steal from you as you stole my cash I steal every thing I own from you with delight not fret but backup
Cigarette burns on my arms therapeutic through my large persistence level using a pain evaluate you took just lately It was not Jesus but ME it was ALWAYS ME residing through the burns standing with a immediately back a relaxed voice and a ready smile I was a quite girl with burns It wasn’t Jesus but ME He walked off the cross with me that day I retained his hand IT WAS ALWAYS ME who will ALWAYS LEAVE YOU I requires this to the Justice Courtroom of the Universe for what you have done to me these days
You negated my existence I could not walk out of the door ever with no you beside me all together through my deranged childhood I have had to resolve humanity’s complications through your problems Each and every time I had a friend, one friend for even one instant you criticized me for having a foundation of assist I am leaving you, the Nazi You appeared at me as if I were benefit A billion $$ bucks $$ – and I was I knew you’d get rid of me to keep me Even though I was tied up I came for free plus some To get out of there
The veils you have wrapped around my face are promontory mound scarves often revealing the concealed existence of digital cameras but I always knew the photographer for your porno he said that you are truthfully keeping my by now desecrated camera every time I thought of you I threw the veils down wrapped them wadded up the cheap polyester fabric into an unattractive rolled ball I spat on the veiled ball hurling the light into the encompassed replicate a disappearing symbol of an unmarked grave you pushed me up against that wailing wall I AM LEAVING YOU
I’m back in the coffin peering out from the brown dirt on my skin again listening for creaking seems around the lid My stolen home is my fulcrum point when was my body a temple like in the Bible just once? I’m slicing him off because I am not a Barbie Doll beauty without a brain He can look at what he previously stole not at me I am standing up in a rigorous box a black box a white boxed Rubik’s dice I was forced to solve in relocating cabs My neck hurts and I know I am in the cheap plywood coffin you purchased me One particular for a longer time I live in the everlasting darkness of the deep nicht arab evening I search for the waning light rising up like an ant on a minimalist journey I’m climbing off the ant farm through the silted sifted soil of Europe
I am back in the magma main again climbing up Mt. Vesuvius as a cockroach with a black ash streak mark on my brow from the occult I knew through sacrifice I was the ritual torture target becoming the victorious fowl dancer and a from time to time satanic interpreter Back again again hunting out of the hole My hole – it my complete tender respiratory living whole soul – My Soul (w)hole
I was living in a hatred home because you were living there until finally recently you were holding me hostage Your raging cold constant hatred of me my vagina my back and my front my whole breathing tune a typeer loving child now a vigilant female with a chilled reply and song repertoire I was a girl you never witnessed my have faith in Due to the fact nothing at all ever alterations I AM LEAVING YOU I was more than the small Nazi girl all along
You tried to generate me a pimp and absolutely everyone’s whore on the closed circuit TV with concealed internet and satellite spycams it was a visible virtual rape while I had to be both God and a prostitute to fulfill you the white man even though you never talked to me I had to steal my own thoughts from me while believing I was you, the pimp, not me at all I was negated and wearing your name as my identification always reporting my transgressions to you the white magic formula law enforcement while you manufactured me shell out illegally I cracked the hypnosis Da Vinci code
I thank God I do not know you any more I never did know you because you only forced me with brutality to say I knew you when I don’t publicly you said I am not a citizen and are not able to act then you said I am a slave or a servant-slave what the hell is that? a new group for my position as a woman? as I clean the mirror in our home I realize what you indicatet and toss the rag down even the paper towels I throw them on the ground putting my blue Windex spray area cleaner away permanently even though it is new and I walk away from our unmade bed
I will redefine the ceiling as I stand over you I will redefine the ceiling as the floor while I dance a spinning whirling dervish dance a gorgeous little girl’s wild dance on top of your head You will not know I am alive EVEN THOUGH I stand outside your dungeon with the keys You won’t hear from me in the potential because I am leaving you. SAYONARA I AM LEAVING YOU GOODBYE YOU MOTHERFUCKER I AM LEAVING YOU
I am back in the front back in the center of your crappy car sitting in the backseat not thankful at all why should I be grateful? Grateful for what? it was all improper and I knew it was all wrong Waiting around for the dryer cycle to total I meticulously independent your clothes from mine because they’ve leprosy and even worse specifically the undies
Placing them neatly in your dresser drawer the top drawer, sure I seize my unexpected emergency funds and I walk out the door Towards manna towards heaven toward mecca Toward Bethlehem Toward the closest hamburger place To plan my escape from MY home which these times is always your jail walking with abandon and confidence down the independence road I don’t conclude to brush my hair or trouble with lip gloss smiling in the mirror
it’s a woman thing it’s a coronary heart thing it’s in my vagina that you will never know it’s my holy space and you are going to never know it
I am the Pope now as I leave you you threw the rocks too hard at me the girl standing on the wall you were a man, not a boy and the rocks were your brutal fists your distressing raging slaps you existed for meanness you were a massive terrifying rigid form following to me ready to hit me again as I lay in your cold cold bed I left you early – for the duration of the during the encountering breaths I take I left you already! but you didn’t know or care because it was never my bed only yours
I had no room to breathe and I slipped out from between the sheets early one early morning as you slept a deep satisfied rest I looked carefully at your no-guilt icy face I never went back to caring as which is how you caught me caring for you lying in your bed trapped between your legs you are a mean man with truly mean hands AND for this cause I AM LEAVING YOU I AM LEAVING YOU I AM LEAVING YOU I AM LEAVING YOU GOODBYE YOU LOSER GOODBYE. ADIOS. LATER. SEE YOU NEVER. ANOTHER TIME FOR LOVE
You poured a loam fertilizer product on what’s now international soil in our backyard I bought it in Hechingers for a family members backyard garden You didn’t wish Placing me in the cheap coffin again you said I am going to be back I didn’t be reluctant even so and climbed out of the coffin buried under a foreign place I never knew as our home before without my identity intact as you stole it everyday through violence expressed toward me my skin and my occasionaly delicate woman’s soul even kid’s soul at times
You were the doctor in a white mask at the opening to the grave exhuming tilling the soil almost packed down over me supplying to free me from bondage through a conscript program as some variety of welfare draftee It is euthanasia you said Provider or nothing less than suicide introducing “You’ve a fixation on death” and you put me in the medical center again “one more time we are going to do this” you remarked casually as a frigid stranger once more negating my will nonetheless hanging terror in my heart and disgust that always prevails when I need you to come through for me in a crisis you simply never do I AM LEAVING YOU
You made me feel like a servant while you were in my body a maid in hypnosis that I am not with a leash around my neck hopelessly pursuing you into ignominy and eventual death against my will and not able to speak with silent screams I left with my spirit into acquainted terrain not as an insect again
It is the abstruse point of watch Nothing at all you gave me was yours to give I already own everything Incorporating my entire body I own my face and my expressions on my face you couldn’t give me anything let on your own take anything away this is not said by me it is said by Jesus I may sound wonderful but I am not nice relating to this for fucking me over just once I am leaving you
There is certainly no final voiceover No voice overlay It was your voice drowning me in my life Just my voice Just mine It is always my voice I speak with It is mine only It is finally my beautiful voice I hear And it always was Mine. It truly is all mine. My voice is me. I’m being it for the future for my dad for my unborn child perhaps never born because I lost my voice once or more than 2 times and because I want to still feel in God for my peace of head and simply for myself I am leaving you I have already left you yesterday for the ugly bruises on my beautiful body that I can still see and feel I don’t stay tied up for long I had to walk out of my body to leave you Here is goodbye. Adios.
The post I’m Leaving You appeared first on Beautiful Women.
source http://topbeautifulwomen.com/im-leaving-you/
0 notes