#I know ill want to kms tmrw

[life1tself]

[bywi]

this is queued so who knows how long ago this was but today i tried to kill myself but didnt. i wrote out like an entire suicide note and was crying my eyes out while getting ready but as i was sitting on the floor i noticed that my bed bug bites were looking a lot worse so i took and sent a pic to my sister. dont know why maybe i just wanted her to know since she was the one i freaked out at when i first saw them or didnt want to die before i spoke to someone but she responded like immediately.

she was saying like "see a doctor it looks like termites" and that freaked me out so much that for a moment i forgot i was trying to kill myself and we ended up texting eachother for like another hour. by then the conversation moved on from my bites but i was just felt seen. i didnt tell her my plan, she doesnt know at all what she interrupted, and i dont think ill ever tell her.

idk what im trying to say. i love my sister. this didnt like cure me or anything. but it really just took a moment to get me up my feet. i was applying itch cream and bandaids while my sister kept texting me about our upcoming trip when i realized like oh i was gonna kms what am i doing.

anyway im going to see a doctor tmrw about my bites and maybe ill email my therapist to reschedule all those appointments i missed.

the noose is still hanging in my closet but im in bed now

[werewoofs]

looks like ill be going mia soon agaib lads