#I swear to god I’m gonna finish this negan fic one day soon

[letdecemberburninflames]

My Only Sunshine

Fic Type: Carl Grimes x Reader, Daryl’s Daughter!Reader,

Warnings: Spoilers, violence, blood (It’s TWD, why am I warning you?)

Song: My Only Sunshine as performed by Aretha Franklin

Author’s Note: This occurs after S7E7 “Sing Me a Song”. As always, italics are flashbacks. Enjoy! 

“Here, let me help you with that.” I stood up from the place where Carl’s bed used to be. (It was now just a pile of pillows and blankets on the floor, thanks to Negan.) He was putting a new bandage on over his eye. He dropped his arms from their awkward position over his head and handed me the gauze pad. I placed it gently over his scarred eye socket and wrapped the bandage around his head a few times, untucking his hair from underneath it as I went.

“Thank you.” He mumbled.

I knew he was still somewhat embarrassed to ask me for any form of help, even though we just about were as close as two people could be. Since being forced to show his wound, he’d been a lot less self conscious about it though. He was able to walk around the house without it on, which was extremely abnormal for him. His biggest concern was scaring Judith, but I honestly didn’t even think she noticed a difference.

I thought back to when I first met Carl. The first day of first grade….

I clung to my daddy’s hand, eyes wide. “Do I have to go?” I asked, staring into the classroom already full of hyper kids and chatting parents. I wiped my sweaty hands on my denim skirt.

“Darlin’,” Daddy kneeled down, but he was still taller than me. “Yer gonna do great.” He hugged me. “Now go, I gotta get to work.” He smiled, handing me my camo backpack.

“I love you, daddy.”

“Love you too, Pumpkin.”

I trotted into the classroom, taking everything in. Kids ran around in groups, playing with toy cars or dolls. I walked to the back of the room where there was a bookshelf full of colorful stories. I peeked behind the bookshelf where the teacher had told me yesterday there were beanbags and pillows, and to my surprise, there was a boy back there.

“Hello,” I said timidly. “Can I sit here and read?”

“Sure!” The boy replied happily. He patted a blue pillow next to him, and I sat down. “I’m Carl, by the way. What’s your name?”

“Y/N Dixon.” I said with a small smile.

“Do you like comics?” Carl asked.

“Yes, my uncle Merle buys them for me sometimes.”

Carl held up what he was reading. “This is the newest Spider Man! My mom bought it for me because I’m starting first grade. You want to read it with me?” He asked.

“Sure!”

Carl shook my shoulder. “Y/N? Earth to Y/N?”

“Yeah, sorry, I spaced out.”

“No, it’s okay. I just- Nevermind. What were you thinking about?”

I laughed. “First grade, believe it or not.”

Carl nodded. “When we read comic books on the first day?” He wrapped his arms around my waist, planting a gentle kiss on the back of my shoulder.

“Yeah.” I smiled sadly.

“Hey,” Carl’s hands moved from my hips to my hair. “Remember when I used to braid your hair because you couldn’t do it yourself? Back when we were still at that camp before my dad found us?” He carefully separated my hair into three sections. “It had been your birthday. You had mentioned that you wanted to braid your hair, but you didn’t know how. So I went to my mom and made her teach me how to braid hair just so I could do yours.”

“Aw, Carl.” I turned around after he finished the braid, pecking him on the lips.

“Hey, kids, can you go upstairs?” Rick asked. His voice was shaky and somewhat frantic. “Negan’s here.”

Carl and I exchanged glances before heading upstairs. Rick knew that Carl had gone to the Sanctuary and that Negan had taken Carl back to Alexandria, but he had no idea that he held Judith and tried to take the three of us back with him. Carl had decided not to tell his dad; he was worried that Rick would blame him for endangering Judith. I disagreed with Carl, and said that Rick had a right to know. It wasn’t my place to intervene though, however strongly I felt.

“Ugh!” Carl grunted, kicking the door with his foot. “I hate being treated like such a child by him.”

“Carl, you know your dad’s just doing what he thinks is best for you. He worries.” I said softly in attempt to console him. “I worry.” I murmur so he can’t hear me.

“Yeah, well he doesn’t need to worry. I’ve been in more dangerous situations than him that he doesn’t even know about. I can handle anything he can.” Carl raised his voice, slamming his palm against the wall for emphasis.

“I still think you should tell him.” I replied. I tried my hardest to keep my voice calm, but it was becoming more and more difficult as he got more and more frustrated.

“No. Not yet, at least.”

I shook my head, releasing a sigh. “Well, at least you’re considering it.”

I heard the front door swing open, and immediately recognized the heavy footsteps pounding up the stairs.

The door to Carl’s bedroom was swung open quickly, and there stood Negan with that disgusting signature grin on his face. “Long time, no see!”

Carl stood up and stepped in front of me, glaring at Negan. “Why are you up here? Can’t you just take your shit and leave?”

“You know, son, I understand that you’re ballsy. You don’t have to be a dipshit and try to prove it every time I see you.” Negan said.

From behind him, you saw Rick’s brow wrinkle, but as Negan continued talking, his facial expression went from confused to natural. As far as Rick was aware, Carl had only seen Negan twice. For each time Rick was aware of, Carl and Negan hadn’t spoken much, so I knew it was more than likely that Rick would figure out what happened soon.

“Come on. Let’s go on a field trip.” Negan led Carl, Rick, and I down the stairs and out the door. “So,” Negan began, “Where’s my baby girl? I’ve sure missed her.” He turned. “And I’m not talking about you, darling.” He grinned at me.

Rick’s face was unreal. He looked terrified, sad, angry, and panicked all at once. “What- what do you mean?”

Negan chuckled, looking over at Carl and I. He knew. He knew that Rick was completely unaware of what happened the last time he visited. “The little girl! Cutie pie with the blonde curly hair. She’s an angel. I miss her. Bring her here.”

“I ca-can…I-I can’t-”

“Quit your blabbering, and look at your son. Do you even know how  much of a badass he is? His girl, too. You’ve got a lot to look after, here. I’m not sure you’re doing too good of a job. Maybe they’d be better off living with me.” Negan teased. “Yeah, I like that idea. How about I take Olivia, too. She’d be able to watch… What’s her name again? It’s… Judith! That’s it! My sweet little angel, Judith.”

“Alright, stop it already.” Carl sighed. He knew his dad, and how he could only handle so much when it came to his kids.

“Yeah, show your dad how it’s done! That’s what I like to see!” Negan seemed to adore Carl. No matter what he did, he seemed to be praised for it. The amount of shit he got away with was a sign. Negan had plans for him. Maybe he saw him fit to take over the Sanctuary one day. Or maybe he just wanted another kid to torture.

“Can you just stop it? I know you’re not going to do anything.” I laughed, and Negan whipped his head around. That was it. That’s all it took for the light in Negan’s eyes to vanish. Something had sparked in him that scared the living shit out of me. I stared up at him, knowing instantly I’d gone to far.

“Get on the ground.”

Carl panicked. “What? No wai-”

“Now! I want everyone on their knees, or I swear to god, I’ll beat your girl to death.” All playfulness in his voice was long gone, and Carl was on his knees in a split second. “I want everyone to hear me, loud and clear, when I say that I will not take shit off anyone! Honestly, I thought you’d get that through your thick skulls by now. After all, I beat two of your damn men, stole one of them, and damn near left the boy without his arm. You guys, damn, you’re a stubborn bunch! Well, because of his inability to shut the hell up,” He yelled, pointing the end of Lucille at Carl, “Lucille’s thirsty! And you know what happens when my girl gets thirsty.”

I kneeled on the ground before Negan, surrounded by a circle of my neighbors and people I’d known all my life. From the ground, my face remained raised, my lips curled in a defiant smirk. He’d taken my father. He’d taken my friends. God only knows how long it will be before he takes Carl and Rick and Judith too.

“I nearly forgot the entertainment!” Negan exclaims. “Bring our boy, Daryl, from the truck.”

I gasped, turning my head to see my father being pushed towards the circle. He looked like he’d been through hell. The clothes Negan had dressed him in were dirty and ragged. He clearly hadn’t showered in a very long time, and his hair hung in mangled strands in front of his tired eyes. His eyes widened when he saw me, and the men pushed him to his knees on the inside edge of the circle, front and center.

“NO!” He yelled. “I don’t care what you do to me. Don’t touch a hair on her head!” Daryl practically screamed at Negan.

“Everyone seems to be here.” Negan chuckled. I stared up at him, the defiance gone from my eyes, replaced with fear. “Damn.” Negan smiled at me. “You look adorable on your knees like that.”

Daryl made to stand and lunge at Negan, but two men held him back, forcing him down again.

“Last chance, babygirl.” Negan swung Lucille over his shoulder. “Either come back with me to the Sanctuary and be my wife… Or Lucille here will take care of you. Your choice.”

I shook my head, not meeting eyes with anyone in the crowd. Carl and Daryl struggled against Negan’s men holding them back. Carl was screaming for Negan to take him and to let me go. Everyone else is frozen in fear and shock.

“Well? What are you waiting for?” I smirk up at Negan. “Hurry up and get it over with already.”

Negan gave me his stupid, cocky grin and raised the bat over his head. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

---

Carl holstered his gun. “Why didn’t you check behind you first? You could have died.” He was breathing heavily. Walkers surrounded the building, and we had found refuge in a room deep within.

“S-sorry.” I rubbed the back of my sweaty neck and looked away from him. Carl Grimes and I had been on a supply run, when we had gotten separated from the rest of the group. And of course, it was him I had to be stuck with.

I could see him walking towards me, so I moved to the side assuming he was going to check the barricade. Instead, he grabbed my forearm.  

I looked up in confusion and were immediately caught off guard by the realization of exactly how close he was. I looked down as he leaned in even closer. Once his lips touched mine, everything faded. His breath brushed my cheek and his other hand was grasping the back of my neck. I slipped my arms around him, pulling him closer.

He pulled away after a while and looked into my eyes. His cerulean ones shone so brightly with adoration that I could swear that nothing else mattered but here and now. Not the group, not the supply run, and certainly not that the world had gone to shit and we were trapped. The world had stopped just for us.

“Don’t be such an idiot. I kind of need you alive. And not just because your dad’ll kill me otherwise.”

---

Negan brought his bat down clean on the top of my head and pulled it back, hair was caught on the wire and ripped skin along with it. I could hear bone crunch. My ears rang and vision blurred. My teeth cracked under the pressure, shattering and slicing my gums. Warmth seeped onto my face; blood, I assumed. I saw red as my body slumped to the ground. I heard shouting as I lay on the ground. What was left of my head was spinning.

***Third Person POV***

“NO! YOU BASTARD!” Y/N’s father screamed, tears streaming down his dirt streaked face as he watched his only daughter lie on the ground, blood seeping from her bashed skull.

Nearby, Carl was screaming. “Fuck you! I’ll fucking kill you! I’ll-” He was cut short by a blow to the head delivered by his father. It was the humane thing. As he slumped to the ground, a ring fell from his pocket. Silver, with a blue stone in the center.

“Damn. She’s a badass!” Negan shouted with dystopian pride as he watched the young girl bleed to death at his feet. “Shame, she would’ve been fun to screw.”

Y/N’s eyes fluttered shut, and her breathing was labored. They say that life flashes before your eyes before you die. She didn’t remember much of her life. But she remembered what counted. A loving family. Broken, yes, but loving. Friends who helped raise her and keep her alive. And a lover who would give everything he had, even his own life, for her in a heartbeat. The pounding, ringing in her ears began to fade. As did everything else. The light from outside her eyelids, the stench of dirt and blood, and finally the feeling of rough ground beneath her. She took one last shuddering breath before her body went still.

Negan swung Lucille in a large arc over his shoulder, splattering Daryl with his murdered daughter’s blood. “What does a guy have to do to get some lemonade around here? Lucille’s thirsty, god damn it!”

---

“You’re really serious about her, aren’t you?”

Carl looked to Glenn and pocketed the ring he had found and risked his life for earlier that day. A beautiful silver ring with a sapphire in the center. “She sure is something. I don’t even deserve someone like her.” His heart swelled with love and a smile played on his lips as he thought of the girl. He’d grown up with her, sure. But never in a million years would he believe that she would ever date him. They had grown up side by side, and he had fallen more and more in love with her every day. She was perfect. She was his. And he knew that if he just kept her close, that he would make sure nothing ever happened to her.

_*_*_*_*_*_

***Carl’s POV***

“You are my sunshine…” I cradled Y/N’s cold body in my arms, tears streaming down my face. I gathered her body in my arms, lifting her up and carrying her outside where everyone was waiting. “My only sunshine...” She was dressed in a white cotton nightgown, and I choked back a sob as I saw my father and her father standing next to the coffin they’d built. Daryl broke down completely when he saw his little girl, pale and lifeless in my arms. “You make me happy, when skies are grey…” I placed her body in the coffin, and dad put a small bouquet of flowers he’d picked while out scavenging for Negan in her hands, which he folded across her stomach. “You’ll never know, dear…” Daryl was kneeling next to the casket, sobbing. Tears rolled down my cheeks as well, even more when I realized how much pain he must be feeling. His only daughter. His whole reason for living. Gone in the blink of an eye. “How much I love you…” I looked down at the ground my hands resting on the coffin edge, and saw the glint of something blue. Carefully, I reached down and picked up the engagement ring I had chosen and risked my life for. I dusted the dirt off and slid it onto Y/N’s cold finger. It should be me in that coffin. She didn’t deserve to die.

                          “So please don’t take my sunshine away.”