#I think it's cool that kingmaker can make me happy whenever I return to it

[outeremissary]

In the moment tag game

Tagged by @arrow90-art - thanks for thinking of me! I’m never annoyed by folks thinking to include me on stuff even if I’m sometimes a bit slow :)

Last song: Lola Montez, Volbeat

Recently I’ve been listening to a lot of Volbeat again. Part of the project of expanding Carmen’s playlist while making a Spotify copy of it. This song was not at all a part of that, I’m just fond of it! It’s very cheerful.

(the historical figure the song is based on)

Currently Watching: Little Witch Academia. A friend got really into it and has insisted on rewatching it with me. He needs me to know that I’m the girl with glasses. Every time her fandom stuff came up while he was watching he messaged me to say “she’s behaving like you. she’s just like you.” I haven’t actually seen those episodes yet, so I can’t help but feel fear...

Currently Reading: In theory, The Ten Thousand Deaths of Ardor Benn. In practice I read volume 9 of The Case Study of Vanitas last week and volume 1 of The Knight Blooms Behind Castle Walls the week before and then nothing else of book-y nature. I... think I may have lost one of those by sleeping with it in my bed. Sacrificed to the plushie pile.

Currently Obsessed With: The same things as usual, really. Which is to say last week I played amounts of Kingmaker I fear measuring. I really love the focus late game Kingmaker has on narrative and the struggle to control a story as it unfolds because it encourages you to think about the roles and archetypes a character inhabits and how willingly they exist in them. Whether or not they truly want to be, the baron/ess is the “hero” of the story by the end because That Is What Nyrissa Was and you are either intentionally usurping her role or being forced to inhabit it. And “hero” is simultaneously a role Balthazar hates playing because it feels thrust upon him (and worse. “martyr”) and intentionally crafts for himself because there’s so much advantage to preying on that expectation, and on top of that he needs to be important and asserts himself that he is the main character of the story. It makes for kind of fun tension. There’s also something blurry about this feeling of “when does action make something no longer an act.” He’s the savior of the land, he’s built this kingdom of light where the common people live with dignity and joy... Even if it all comes from selfish motives, somehow he is a heroic figure in a legitimate way. And when people retell the story the private cruelties and the harsh retaliation and the underhanded intentions will all be washed away. The great deeds will be all that remain. It’s both the perfect victory for a cold-hearted deceiver and the greatest feat of self-annihilation possible. Maybe it’s the fact that I should really have slept four hours ago and this is all stream of consciousness but god. It scratches my brain. I know there is a question on my Kingmaker companion quiz about themes that would have been interesting to put more focus on and this. This is really the one for me. Narrative and storytelling. Role playing and who gets to assign the roles and retell the story. That’s where it’s at. Every moment of contested reputation and every uncertain first impression and every moment where you’re forced in parallel to another narratively important character. That’s it. That’s what it’s all about man. I loooooooove this game.

If you haven’t already been tagged and are interested, I’ll tag @bearvanhelsing and @camelliagwerm.