#I think it's pretty safe to say Madeleine and Joey are adopted at this point

[electricrogue]

Buckle up pals I'm gonna tell you a story. Which is incidentally also sort of a literary analysis of a song so yeah if you're not into that leave while you still can XD. Well, more like a specific part of Drinking Song For The Socially Anxious. This one to be more precise:

And in a moment of total rapture

And with every strength I have

I ask if you play D&D

And your face lights up like you’ve woken up

From this endless fucking nightmare of pretending this is you,

This is us, this is me, this how we’re meant to be

But your smile tells me I’m safe

And that voice unspoken’s heard

Cos if god made us all in his image

Then god’s a fucking nerd

So basically the story is about what my source blood sister calls the fangirl gene. Like there's people who get remotely excited about stuff and there's people who fall really deep for their calling. (Yes I went there). Whatever said calling is, it can be a tv show or a celebrity or even fucking stamps for all I care. It's not the what that matters. What matters is that society is expecting you to be a functional adult and if you go beyond a level of obsession it looks at you in a weird way. So you tone it down and you don't advertise it too much and you try to sound casual about it because normal people are not interested in you going in hour long rants over stuff, you know?

But you know what? It's exhausting to pretend to be normal when you're not. And you can't really be friends with people who you have to pretend with because you have this constant fear you'll slip and then they'll judge and you'll have to kill cut ties with them. I didn't do it in the past and God I regret that but I won't make the same mistake again. Like ok maybe you're not into something, I get that, but when someone you like loves that thing, the most you're allowed to say in my book is something along the lines of "eh not my cup of tea but you do you". That's it. Not "ugh why do you like that shit it's for kids" or whatever.

But I digress and this wasn't supposed to be about the bad ones it was supposed to be about the good ones XD. You know gaydars? I suck at that but I like to think I'm pretty good at having a fandar. As in, to know when someone has a thing for something. Again, what isn't that important(of course it's a thousand times better when they're into the same stuff as you are, but it's not mandatory). It's just the way they talk about stuff or they get pissed about stuff because let's be real fangirling can also involve getting pissed off. They care, to sum it up. And honestly? It's so damn refreshing to meet someone like that. Because you see yourself in them, in the way they get excited about stuff and then they go like 'eh whatever' before you think they're mad, in the way they start ranting and there's that little spark in their eyes and gah. It's these things that make you feel safe with them and you just know they're keepers. At least as friends but it can go either way.