#I tried to make a proper mom friend but I'm the goblin friend so I don't know how I did

[norcalbruja]

Met another potential anito, and the avengers have assembled for... vengeance?

I do not know what the fuck keeps happening with my attempts to contact other Filipinos, but it's happening again.

My friend's friend who I contacted for spiritual help just seems to keep losing track of me for WEEKS at a time. I've been trying to schedule a consultation and recently asked her if she was busy and I should talk to someone else, but she just said "thank you for being patient with me," so... I don't actually know if she's busy.

I don't want to keep hounding her every week for a CONSULT before I can actually get help, so I asked her now if it's easier to just pay her a bit for the phone consultation, and then I'll pay her more for a proper spiritual session, when we actually figure out what the hell is wrong with me.

So I've been dealing with pest issues in the apartment, and this is REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING, considering my landlords raised the rent when all they did was fix the counters and give the apartment building a shitty boring paint-job to make the outside "look nicer."

--

Meanwhile, Haik Number Four has constantly been remarking on how miserable I am and he's said something a couple of times like, "This is evil, what people have done to you."

So I was like, "Haik, technically nobody's done anything to me. I email or message folks in the art business for help and most people just don't answer. Neither do most of the anito." And he went, "Doing nothing IS evil! You specifically ask people for help, but they can't even tell you 'I'm sorry, but we don't have time!' They leave you floating around for weeks with no answer!"

Meanwhile, Tatay the ancestral spirit says Haik Number Four is just "being dramatic," but... yeah, Haik obviously doesn't agree with that.

But late one night, Tony Stark stepped into my spiritual "room" and he was like, "God, your life is a mess. It shouldn't have taken you ten fucking years to get your art off the ground! Your friends are doing okay, but you're just stuck in a day-job and living with your mom! You're AT LEAST as talented as the Fifty Shades of Grey author who filed the copyrighted parts off her FANFICTION, but you can't even get your own place, or recognition from RICH people!"

So I was like, "Yes, Tony, I know. You helped me with my laptop, at least. I just need... more help, unfortunately."

So he said, "And that's why I'm here, Cyborg. To avenge those ten fucking years."

And I'm just thinking, 'Damn, Tony, that's class-traitor AND Green Goblin talk."

--

So a few days ago, Haik Number 4 brought me to this stone boulder/pillar thing, and it turned into a handsome Filipino guy, Who Calls Himself Dumakulem, the Tagalog mountain-god. His wife Anagolay also showed up and said hello.

Tealdeer, it ended the same way it ends with other spirits who say they want to help, but I'm just tired of hearing it. I don't want to get my hopes up and end up stuck in this same shitty apartment for another three years.

Behind the read-more button for, like... desperate screaming. And Eric Draven being brutally honest about my fears of "dying and THEN having people suddenly pay attention to my work, as if I haven't been begging people to read it constantly while I was alive."

--

So I tried to be polite with Possible-Dumakulem and Possible-Anagolay, but soon they started talking about how my situation is so alarming again.

I knew they were going to say they wanted to "help" or something, so I told them, "NO. DON'T SAY IT. PLEASE. I can tolerate spirits calling themselves the anito, but don't fucking tell me you want to help. Nobody ever does that! They feel bad for me, they say my life sounds boring and unfulfilled, but nothing changes anyway. My heart hurts all the time. I don't want to hear you'll help if you can't ACTUALLY HELP ME. Get me a briefcase full of money, or an art career where I can travel and hang out with people, just--JUST GIVE ME MY OWN FUCKING LIFE! IF YOU WANT TO HELP ME, JUST FUCKING DO IT!!! CHANGE ONE OF THE MANY SHITTY THINGS IN MY LIFE SO I CAN BE A BIT LESS MISERABLE! AND IF YOU CAN'T HELP ME YOURSELF, FIND SOMEONE WHO CAN! PLEASE!!!"

Lola Buwaya was, um... irritated at Possible-Dumakulem and Possible-Anagolay again. But they unfortunately switched to Tagalog, so now I've just got the half-understood gist of Lola ranting. She said something like, "Hayop siya na! Tony Stark heard her before you did! If you won't treat her like a person, don't be upset when she doesn't treat you like gods! You left her with a squid for years, and a sailing-god was the only one to answer her! But now you don't want to hear unkind words?! Do you want her to be a person again?! Then you must act like gods, and give her what she asks!"

Meanwhile, Spirit-Me just devolved into flailing and screaming "LET ME OUT!!! LET ME OUTTTTTTTTTTT!!!! LET ME OUT OF THIS FUCKING HELLHOLE!!!! PLEASE!!!! I SWEAR I'LL PAY YOU BACK IF SOMEONE HELPS ME!!!! JUST LETTTTTTTT MEEEEEEE OUTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!"

As noted with Hera, I've lost my shit and just started "screaming to anyone who's listening" in my meditations before, but I really don't like if that happens in "public," with SPIRITS around (unless they're close spirits, like the Water-Spirit or Dionysus).

Unfortunately, Spirit-Me started coughing up blood again, and THAT was obviously not good.

So various spirits heard Spirit-Me and were trying to calm me down (again), ranging from Dionysus, to Tony Stark, to Tatay.

Eric Draven stepped in and he was like, "You know what I'm thinking about this mess with her people's gods? That it's just an excuse for people to wring their hands. None of you actually want to get off your ass and fucking help her."

And Tatay said, "Naku! The dead man again! And Haik is here--is he not one of the anito?!"

Eric told him, "You really think a squid and a sailing god can help her so much with art? Or buying a house? She's not afraid she's going to die: She's afraid she'll die AND THEN people will finally read her stuff, like she begged them to for years. They'll talk about how much POTENTIAL it had, and 'all the things she could have done,' and they'll pretend she wasn't ready to jump in and do it.

"They'll see her social-media and her blog, where her baking posts get more likes than her art posts, and then they'll feel guilty about never clicking the Share button or leaving a comment. It won't help her OR them at that point. So none of you should bother calming her down anymore. Just let her scream and bleed and wander the forest like an orphaned girl. If you won't help, that's okay--just let her find someone she can pawn her soul off to, or some shit. How much money is a soul worth? "

So the room just went DEAD silent and I think it actually got cold for a bit. Eric Draven doesn't fucking play around with... warnings about a needlessly wasted life???

--

So regarding Lola's rant to Possible-Dumakulem and Possible-Anagolay: 'Hayop ka' is normally a Tagalog insult and literally translates to "you're a beast/wild-animal." It's mostly used for when people aren't acting right. IE, if you're being rude or obnoxious, someone's gonna yell at you, "hayop ka!"

It's often used in tandem with "walang hiya" (shameless / you have no shame) or "walang utang na loob" (no responsibility / you're being ungrateful). In English, it would be something like "were you raised in a barn?!" or "you're running wild / you've turned feral," but as I understand it, 'hayop ka' has a REALLY distinct undertone of 'you have lost your humanity/civilization' as opposed to the English analogs mostly meaning 'you have no manners/respect."

So 'Hayop siya na' means "she's become an animal now," but Lola's basically saying that the anito's lack-of-action/support turned me spiritually "feral," so the unspoken part is "she's become an animal BECAUSE OF YOU." And now she thinks they're just swooping in and thinking/hoping that I have JUST enough humanity left to 'treat them like gods," despite running around for so long with snakes, crocodiles, and giant squid.

Honestly, there has been a constant theme in my spiritual shittiness regarding "what makes you human?" or "how much damage/neglect can a soul take?" and then there's the issues of "well, you're doing the same things that everyone else is. You're literally not doing anything unusual. But since you never got anywhere with it, now people keep thinking you're crazy and talking to yourself (or to 'spirits pretending to be gods'), but the actual issue seems to be that you have incredibly bad luck."

Like, a lot of spirits are consistent about how it should never have taken TEN YEARS for me to get my projects off the ground, because with all the stuff I write about the anito, SOMEONE should have stepped in and helped me out (besides a giant squid who is God-LEVEL in strength, but he can't actually grant wishes), and it's cruel/unnecessary/evil for me to basically keep doing this on my own.

I have a theater script called "Takotsubo: The Story of A Superhero" that I've been trying to get off the ground. It's a deconstruction of the 'superhero' genre that heavily involves "when white people suit up and start taking on criminals, they're heroes, but when Black and Brown people do it, they're gangsters/vigilantes."

Everyone I've asked about it tends to say, "well, this sounds really cool! But it's also gonna be expensive and you're an unpublished writer, so not many people will risk this for you," and I was like... "Well... Guess I have to win the lottery or find a rich comic fan, then?"

I was thinking of converting the script to an actual comic series after I finish it. Because as expensive as relearning how to draw is, or finding an artist to pay for that, drawings don't need fight training or insurance for medical bills.

And like... whenever I look at that group of documents and grumble about how I need to practice drawing again, the spirits are upset that I'm basically thinking of "starting over" and doing this by myself... as I've done with my PROSE works, and we all know that hasn't gone anywhere, either.

[morgana-ren]

Yoooo! If you’re still taking requests, can I get a Short where maybe a “mom friend” member of the league takes care of them, and it’s super fluffy and cute? Shiggy or Dabi would be great!

Oh man, while I’m super happy to get a request for some fluff, I’m SUPER bad at it, so I apologize in advance for that. Also, the timeline here is SUPER fucked up. I’m not caught up on the manga, but for my idea to work, Kurogiri is gone and they’re living in an abandoned building together. Magne is there, because I love her. I don’t know if all 3 of those go together, but they do here. I tried my best! I hope it’s okay! I went with the shigman cause I’m still learning Dabi.

“Oh, I’m so hungry! How much longeruntil it’s done?” Magne whined, clutching her stomach. A deep frownsettled on her face, eyebrows hiked up high on her face as she eyeddown the stew pot that was currently settled over a large fire. “Iswear I could eat a horse!”

“It smells so good too!” Togamused, twirling a small blade between her deft fingers. She satcasually on a dusty sofa with a pleasant expression, but it wasevident with the way she kept running her tongue over her fangs andstaring longingly at the pot just how starved she really was.

You gave them both a small smile,lightly tapping a small vial of spice into the mixture as you stirredit. “It’s almost done. The meat is nearly cooked, and I promiseit’ll be worth the wait when you taste the vegetables. They were alittle stale, so it’s better to let them absorb all the flavor.” 

“You two should be more gracious. Their cooking is farbetter than anything we’ve scavenged or stolen in weeks.” Mr.Compress chided them, gesturing at the pile of discarded wrappers inthe garbage can. “There is nothing quite like a home cooked meal,and I, for one, am eternally thankful.” He bowed deeply at you,ever theatrical. A small flush washed over your cheeks, andyou raised a hand and scratched the back of your head in slightembarrassment. “It’s nothing really. I wish I could make somethingbetter for everyone, but I was only able to acquire a few packs ofmeat, and I had to throw out a lot of the vegetables we stole. A lotof them had already gone bad, but I was able to salvage enough thatthis should feed everyone, at least for today. I’ll figure somethingout for the rest of the week, though. Don’t worry.”

“I miss Kurogiri.” Spinner sighed,head cradled in his hands as he sat in the corner. “There wasalways food at the bar.”

Your spirit fell a little at hiscomment. You’d tried to take up the role of caretaker to the Leaguein Kurogiri’s absence. You knew you weren’t him, and you didn’t havethe connections or the experience he had, but you were trying. Thingshad been a nightmare for them lately, and it was taking a toll.They’d been reduced to raiding garbage cans or stealing to feedthemselves, and the makeshift hideout definitely didn’t have the samecomfort level that the bar had.

You had done your best to make itsomewhat homey, putting together a team effort to scavenge for bedsand basic comfort items. With a little help, you had even managed torig up some plumbing and electricity so that everyone could stayclean and have light. It wasn’t great, but it was the best you coulddo under the circumstances.

“You all sure complain a lot forvillains.” Dabi had stretched out on a ratty sofa with multicoloredcushions, arms crossed behind his head. “You act like you’ve neverbeen homeless before.”

He seemed the most indifferent to thesituation. Going with the flow, sleeping on beds, sofas, or mustyfloors with little to no complaint. He ate when there was food, andslept when there wasn’t. You assumed that living like this wasnothing new to him. Sometimes he disappeared for hours on end,returning at absurd hours of the night with his clothing singed andashy and smelling of death. You never asked what he did.

“It’s pathetic.” He continued. “Ifyou fall apart every time things get a little rough, you’ll nevermake it, and you might as well leave.”

The room fell quiet, contemplating hiswords. Was the pain of hunger, discomfort, and dirt enough to breakthe spirit of the League?

“Dabi is right!” Toga broke thesilence. “Things aren’t so bad! Let’s quit being such downers!”She jumped up from her spot, smiling as she began spinning excitedlyaround the room. Twice winced, pushing himself further into the wallto avoid her blade which was slicing the air as she made her wayaround the immediate area. After a few seconds, she slowed to a stop,staring at you with a loving yet deranged expression as she tappedthe hilt of her weapon with her finger. “I still wish you wouldhave let me cut up the meat though!”

“Himiko, that blade killed a manyesterday, and I’m fairly certain you haven’t cleaned it.” Youshook your head, stirring the pot some more, prodding at the meat.

Pouting, her shoulders shrugged downand her arms dropped to her sides. “It would have given it moreflavor.” A few people around the room gave a disgusted sound, andshe scowled at them in turn.

You chuckled, tapping the spoon on therim a final time. “It’s ready, grab a bowl and come and get some!”

The League lined up excitedly,snatching whatever dishware they could find and hungrily grabbing atthe pot. Everyone with the exception of Dabi, who sauntered overslowly, maintaining his facade of nonchalance. He slowly grabbed thelast bowl and lazily filled it with the stew, taking a few moments tolet it simmer before dipping his fork in.

For a few moments, the room was filledwith the sound of people eating, devouring the meat and vegetablesand slurping down the juices left over. It brought a smile to yourface to see your companions so content, and the atmosphere wasnoticeably lighter as they ate. The cacophony of growling stomachsslowly died down, and everyone settled into a temporary state ofcontentment.

“Oh! It’s so good!” Toga yelled,gulping down the remainder of her bowl. “I’’m so happy you’re mybest friend!” She chucked her bowl into the sink and skipped overto you, giving you an overwhelming bear hug. You hugged her backtentatively, careful to avoid the extremely sharp blades that adornedher outfit. “You’re so cute!” Her face started to turn red,grinning wildly as she clung to you. “We could be as close assisters!”

“Careful Toga, you’re getting workedup. Why don’t you come relax?” Twice noted. “Yeah, relax,girl! Calm down or you might explode!”

Reluctantly, Himiko let you go, huffingwhile she returned to her spot on the sofa and began to sharpen oneof her various knives while everyone else finished up the remainderof their meal. Magne was humming happily as she chewed a bit of meat,toying with a vegetable on her fork. Mr. Compress dabbed politely athis mouth with a napkin. Everyone seemed relaxed, even happy, and itfilled you with a sense of warmth.

Spinner his bowl down beside him,swallowing the last bits. “It was really good, thank you. I feel alot better with a full stomach.”

Everyone nodded in agreement withSpinner, giving small words of praise about your cooking. Dabi saidnothing, but turned his head in your direction and nodded, which inDabi language was as good as a hug. An involuntary smile lifted yourlips and you nodded back.

Some time passed, and everyone settledinto their nightly shenanigans. Toga practiced with her knives,yelling incoherently about her various obsessions every now andagain. Mr. Compress performed various magic tricks for Spinner andTwice, who occasionally tried to guess how he did it, to no avail.Dabi slept on the sofa, snoring quietly with his head buried in hisarms. It was like almost every night they had free when they weren’ttraining or plotting, but something felt wrong.

Your head turned upward, toward thestaircase and the room at the top. It was an average door, but thesense of foreboding was palpable. Everyone knew to keep away. Herarely ever left his room, and it was even rarer that you actuallysaw him these days. He had taken the recent events rather hard, andit made him even more volatile and reclusive than ever. He onlyinteracted when absolutely necessary, and it was almost alwayscombative.

“Hey, has anyone seen Shigarakilately?” You asked apprehensively. It took a few seconds for anyoneto answer, no one wanting to voluntarily participate.

“Hasn’t left his room in days. He’sstill sulking.” Dabi muttered, his words muffled slightly by hissleeve.

“Do you know if he’s eaten orshowered or is even alive?” Chewing your lip, you glanced at thedoor again, and then down at the stew pot. There was still food left,and it technically belonged to him.

“There hasn’t been any dishes in thesink, or any new food in our storage, so I would have to assume not.”Mr. Compress crossed his arms, leaning against the wall. A hush hadfallen over the room at the mention of their temperamental leader.Things had always been tense between the League and Shigarki, withhis fits and horrible temper, but he had gathered their respectenough that they followed him. Things had been getting better, andeveryone had almost been getting along, at least until Kurogiri wastaken. Then his mood had plummeted.

You sighed, pressing your fingersacross your nose. You weighed your options, pretending you didn’talready know what you were going to do. Anxiety welled in your gut,and you took a deep breath. There was a million ways this could go,and frankly, none of them looked particularly positive for you.Still, the League was your family, and if you had to take care of itsdysfunctional leader every now and again, so be it.

You quietly picked up a bowl, fillingit with the stew, grabbing some silverware and a napkin while youwere at it. Slowly, you walked towards the stairs, taking a deepbreath before ascending. A few of the League members looked at eachother with worried expressions, questioning your sanity.

“I don’t know if I would do that,dear.” Magne reached out slightly towards you, lip twisted in ananxious grimace “It’s probably best we leave him alone and let himdeal with this on his own time.”

“He needs to eat.” You persisted.“If he won’t take care of himself on his own, then I’ll make him.”It had been meant to come out much more confidently than you had saidit.

Magne exhaled, looking up at younervously, but retracted her hand. You heard Dabi scoff from hisplace on the sofa, no doubt thinking it would be the last time heever saw you due to your own foolishness. Everyone else just glancedaround uneasily. They didn’t think this was a good idea, not at all,but they knew better than to try and stop you.

You crept up the stairs, carefullybalancing the bowl and dishware in your hands. Trying to make aslittle noise as possible, you gently padded toward the door,gathering all your courage to prepare yourself to knock. If youlistened carefully, you could hear him typing away furiously on acomputer and clicking a little harder than you thought was necessary.There was also the muffled sound of a television, but you doubted hewas paying attention to it. Whatever he was doing, he was incrediblyfocused.

You sucked in a breath, swallowing yourfear and bringing your hand down on his door several times. You heardthe knock echo though his room, but his typing never faltered. Afterseveral moments, you tried again, rapping gently on his door. Still,he ignored you, typing manically. You groaned under your breath,re-situating the bowl in your arms. You understood he was technicallyyour boss, but you didn’t appreciate being ignored.

You knocked again, louder and longerthis time. Panic wormed its way down your limbs, taking a hold ofyour gut as you heard the typing stop. You heard an exasperated sighas he angrily pushed away from his makeshift computer station,footsteps approaching. Each one was loud and deliberate, aforewarning that you had irritated him.

His door opened, only just enough thatyou could see a beady crimson eye zero in on you, narrowed inannoyance. He looked even more tired than usual, deep purple bagslining underneath his eyes with a droopy expression and cheekssunken. He made it clear he wasn’t open to conversation, lip curleddownward in a deep scowl, placing his full body in front of the doorso you couldn’t even see inside.

“What?” His tone was agitated anddrawn out, purposely said in such a way that you felt small andinsignificant. You gulped, despite the fact that you were just tryingto help. You were in uncharted waters here, and it was a very realpossibility that this encounter could end with your death.

“I made food.” You managed to say,although it came out meeker than you would have liked. You lifted upthe bowl to show him, and hopefully tempt him into calming. “Ithought you might like some,”

He eyed it suspiciously for a fewmoments before bringing his eye back up to yours. “Did I say I washungry?”

A feral strike of anger burned throughyou. You knew that Shigaraki could be a spiteful little man-child,but you were just trying to help.

“You haven’t eaten in days, boss.”Keeping your tone even was a bit of a chore. “You need to keep yourstrength up.”

He glowered down at you, chapped lipspursing. “Are you implying I’m weak?”

His three fingered grip on his door waswavering, pinky trembling slightly. Whether it was in anger or lowblood sugar, you weren’t entirely sure. “No. That wasn’t what I wassaying at all. I just think you need to eat is all. I promise it’snot horrible.” You held the dish up for him to grab again, hopinghe’d settle down and just take it.

Staring at it for a moment, you noticedhe was swallowing hard. You were hopeful, until in an instant, hiseyes were burning into yours, face sneering. “Leave. You’re pissingme off.”

He slammed the door in your face,almost causing you to fall backward and spill the contents of thebowl. White hot anger simmered in your stomach, crawling up in yourthroat, and your free hand clenched. He might be the leader of theLeague of Villains, but that gave him no right to treat people likethis. For a moment, your common sense was replaced entirely by yourstubbornness.

You could hear him typing again, andthat only made you more angry. Raising your fist to the door, youknocked even harder, practically pounding on the already decrepitwood. He had obviously resounded to ignore you again, because heshowed no signs of answering. After a few more tries, you decided totry a new approach.

“I’ll sit outside this goddamn doorall night if I have to!” You yelled through the cheap wood, knowingfully that if you could hear him, he could likely hear you. “AndI’ll let you know now that I’m a loud sleeper!”

The typing stopped again, and yourbravado fell with it. You heard him push away from his desk, quietlythis time, and approach the door. He opened it more fully this time,leaning on the frame as he stared at you with a look you couldn’tquite place. He was wearing his typical black on black jeans and top,but his shoes were missing. His hair was messy and tousled, as wellas slightly greasy, like he hadn’t brushed it in several days.

“Why do you insist on annoying me?”Surprisingly, there was no trace of anger in his voice, only seemingcuriosity.

“Because…” You tripped on yourown words. Why were you soset on doing this? “You need to take care of yourself. We all do.And if I can make that a little easier, than I will. Even if it meansannoying you.” A blush blossomed on your face. “I’d rather seeyou healthy and annoyed than unhealthy. And if that means you hateme, then fine.”

For amoment so brief that you could hardly justify believing it at all,you swore you saw his face soften. He eyed you, and then the soup inyour hands, letting his gaze fall on it for too long to not betempted. “If I take the damn food, will you leave?”

You nodded, holding it toward him withthe dishware carefully balanced between you pinky and index finger.You kept your vision on your hands as he took it from you gingerly,four fingers wrapped around the rim with his pinky hoveringcautiously. When you brought your face up, you realized he wasstaring at you, red eyes studying you with a practiced detachment.Your cheeks flushed so hard it was almost painful, and you quicklylooked down at your feet, praying he hadn’t seen. What was thatabout?

“I’llbe back in about an hour for the bowl.” You stammered, trying tocompose yourself. “I hope it’s empty.”

Hedidn’t acknowledge you, just shut the door as you turned and walkedback downstairs. Your comrades were surprised to see you unharmed,let alone alive after impeding on Shigaraki’s private time. Dabi hadlaughed, ruffling his hair with his hand as he said “I guess helikes you better than the rest of us.” You weren’t sure if he wasright, but a small part of you had beamed when he said it.

Youbusied yourself the rest of the night taking care of the dishes,making sure everyone had clean towels and leftover clothing that theycould wear if they chose to shower, and cleaning up the debris anddust that littered the hideout. Little by little, it was coming tolook more like an actual homeand less like an abandoned building. Slowly, the group in the frontroom began to dwindle as they went off to bed, the hour growing laterand later. By the time you realized just how sleepy you were, themoon was high in the sky, darkness encompassing the entire horizon.

Youlooked up toward Shigaraki’s room. He had taken the food, there’s noreason he wouldn’t have eaten it. But still, he still had the dish inhis room, and Shigaraki could be very unpredictable. He’d beexpecting you, right? You told him you’d be back. Might as well gograb the dish so that you could wash it and retire for the night.

Youtiptoed up the stairs, trying to move as quietly as you could, butyou weren’t entirely sure why. Stopping in front of his door, youpaused for a moment. Did you just ask for the bowl and leave? Did youtry and make passing conversation? Apologize for trying to strong armhim? How exactly did you handle this? A part of you hoped he wouldjust do what he did earlier and would ignore you knocking.

Younoticed the typing had stopped, so may be he was asleep? Would it berude to knock? It was quite a bit later than you told him you wouldbe by. The sound of the TV was still going, but it was quiet as ithad been earlier. Somehow, absurdly, you felt a lot more anxious thanyou had the first time you knocked.

Youresolved to knock lightly, and if he didn’t answer on the firstround, you’d leave. You could ask him for the dish another time. Yousucked in a breath, and tenderly tapped your fingers on the door. Itwas so soft that even you barely heard it. Chewing on your nail, youwaited for a few seconds before you “decided” that he had likelyfinally settled in and was sleeping. Either that, or he was ignoringyou. You just had hoped that he had eaten first. Either way, youshould probably leave.

As youturned to do just that, you heard a raspy voice from the other sideof the door.

“Comein.”

Okay,now this was unprecedented. What did you do? What was acceptable? Didyou poke your head in? Did you just talk from the doorway? What wasthe appropriate etiquette here?

Clutchingthe knob, you turned it sluggishly, pushing open the weak door andcreeping inside the room as silently as you could. You stoodawkwardly for a few moments, unable to see with only the light fromhis computer shining dimly from the monitor.

“Isaid come in.” Hesounded agitated now. You could hear his voice from a corner of theroom, but you couldn’t see him quite yet. You stumbled over your feetwalking further into his domain, standing with one hand on thealternate elbow, doing your best not to look nervous.

“Shutmy door. I don’t need the idiots looking in.”

Hisrequest took you by surprise, but your body wasted no time complying,pushing it shut with your palm. You stood in the dark, looking aroundrestlessly. Your eyes slowly adjusted to the dreary nature of hisroom, but it wasn’t much help. You could see his room was messy,smelling of must and dusty construction. The windows had been tapedover, and there were piles of black clothes and garbage sitting inpiles across the floor.

“Shigaraki?I came for the bowl, so I can finish the dishes.” You hated lookingso clueless in front of your boss, but a part of you knew he did iton purpose. There was no winning with someone like that. It wasbetter to just play his stupid game. “Could you turn a light on, soI can see?”

He sighed, muttering something underhis breath. He let you stumble around in the darkness for a few moreminutes before you heard a heavy click, and a small light clicked onfrom the corner of the room.

His room was a disaster. Discardedwrappers and energy drink cans were all over his small desk and nightstand, with debris and small pieces of plaster littered across thefloor. Piles of ash were everywhere, things he had disintegrated infits of anger and rage while everyone else had pretended not to hear.He had a large cot he had pushed into the corner that had a smallbundle of dark blankets he was sitting on, head down with his handsin his lap. If he hadn’t been the leader of a villain organization,he would look exceptionally like a young man in the middle of a deepdepression or perhaps a grieving session.

You surveyed the room and tried todecide the best course of action. You couldn’t let him continueliving like this. He was going to get sick. There were entire piecesof wood with rusted nails sticking out just hanging around, and itwas apparent he was living on granola bars and energy drinks.

“The bowl is on the table.” Athin, spindly finger pointed at his desk, just beside his computer.You glanced at him, wanting an official okay before venturing furtherinto his room. He only looked up at you through his thick hair,vermilion eyes emotionless. You nodded at him, making your way towardhis desk and brushing aside the empty wrappers to find the bowl.

When you found it, you picked it up,tipping it from side to side curiously. The contents of the bowl wereentirely gone. Peering around as inconspicuously as you could, youmonitored your surroundings. No wet spots on the floor, no garbagebag he could hide it in. His window was taped shut, so he couldn’tdump it out. You supposed he could have ashed the vegetables and meatbut you weren’t entirely sure how his quirk worked on waterysubstances. From the looks of it, he had actually eaten it. It wasthe only real meal of yours that you had seen Shigaraki eaten sinceyou’d known him.  

It surprised you that he hadactually eaten it, though you weren’t sure what you had expected,honestly. Maybe for him to leave it full out of pure spite or to justdump it on the floor. He didn’t seem to have a problem with a mess.You peered back at him, curiosity overwhelming your better senses.You found that his gaze was focused on you still, eyes droopingsleepily, but still alert somehow. He kept his vision steady as youturned to face him. His attention felt so invasive somehow.

“You actually ate it.” Younoted, holding the bowl in your hands and lightly gesturing to it.

Scowling, he huffed a harsh breathof air and crossed his hands over his chest. “You thought I’d wastemy time making some scheme to rid of soup?”

“I just wasn’t sure you wouldactually eat it. I know it’s not Kurogiri’s, but-” You cut yourselfwhen you noticed his eyes yank from yours, flashing dangerously atthe mention of Kurogiri. “I hope it was at least wasn’t awful.”

He stared down the wall, arms pulledtightly to across his midsection as if he was chilly. You knew hewanted you to leave, to be left alone, but something in youpersisted.

“Hey, I just got a fresh load oflaundry back from the laundromat and everyone is asleep.” Yousqueaked out, unsure how he would react. You saw him cock an eyebrowunderneath his bangs. He probably wondered what the fuck you werebabbling about. You knew you should leave, it was safer that way, butyou kept going. “If you wanted to, you could shower in peace. Iknow you probably don’t want to be bothered.”

Every self preservation instinct inyour body was screaming at you to go.You were really digging now, inviting yourself into a territory whereyou had no business. Still, your feet stayed planted to their spot,facing him, unable to leave until you knew you had done everythingyou could.

He moved his head back to face you,bringing his palm to his eye and rubbing harshly as the other honedin on you. He seemed like he had no idea what the hell you weretrying to do, and truth be told, you didn’t either. He seemeddistrustful, like he thought you had an ulterior motive or maybe youwere trying to trick him somehow. The skin around his eyes tightened,the small cracks of flesh doubling over themselves as he glared youdown.

“It’s just an offer, I thought-”You paused, trying to compose your words in your head. Nothing wasforming in your head, not as his bloodshot eyes bore into you and youfelt a deep swell in your stomach, the feeling of which you couldn’tquite name. Something in your chest ached as you looked despondentlyback at him. “I thought you might want to bathe in privacy. If youwant, you could-” You stammered again. “I know you’re busy andit’s hard and-”

You took a deep breath. You weren’tsure how you wanted this to go, but you knew this wasn’t it.Embarrassment made your cheeks tingle, and you wanted to run. He wasstill staring at you passively, equally as confused as you. You hadto say something.

“If you wanted to shower orsomething, you could. When you’re gone, I could pick up some of thestuff in here. I know you probably don’t have time, being the leaderand all. Anything I can do to help. I just want to make things easieron you. If you’d let me do that for you, I’d feel a lot better.”

You gulped down, preparing for whatwas about to come. He was going to start yelling, asking you if youthought he was incompetent or unable to take care of it himself.Stomp towards you and demand why you thought you knew better than hedid at how he should live. Maybe even kick you out of the League, andat worst, turn you to ash. You closed your eyes, preparing.

It never came.

You felt his shoulder brush past youas he left the room, stalking down the hall. He had left you alone inhere. Was he that angry? Did you drive him out of his own sanctum?Had he gone for a walk and when he got back he would turn you to dustand keep you in a plastic bag to warn everyone else of the dangers oftrying to boss him around?

Your thoughts halted when you heardthe pipes creak and the shower turn on from the other room. Had heactually taken your offer? You two were the only ones awake at themoment, so it must have been him. Panic struck you, and you realizedyou were alone and completely unsupervised in Shigaraki’s room. Hisroom. His room that you’dpromised you’d clean.

You quickly put down the bowl andwent and snatched a garbage bag from downstairs, picking up all thewrappers and cans placed around the room. Breaking down the decrepitplanks and placing them in as well, alongside the random debris andplaster that littered the floor. You didn’t feel comfortable enoughtouching his computer, but you lightly organized all of the randomknickknacks around it that he’d taken from various places, as well asthe piles of video games and movies he’d stolen that were tossed onthe floor. All of his laundry was scooped up in your arms and placedinto bags which you would take to the laundromat tomorrow, and youmade a mental note to steal some hangers for all the sweatshirts andlong sleeved shirts he had. You opted to not touch Father or any ofhis ‘family’. That was too daring, even for you.

You weren’t entirely sure when itcame to his bed. It was such an intimate place, somewhere you knew hefound sacred. Even standing close to it, you could smell his naturalscent, and that unsure feeling came back again. You resolved to makeit as best as you could without disrupting his nest, just in casethat’s how he slept. However, the season was turning cold, and thethin, ratty blankets he had probably wouldn’t be enough to keep himwarm.

You’d managed to keep a stash ofblankets you’d 'acquired’ for the League for colder days hidden away,and you grabbed a small, dark, fuzzy one for Shigaraki. He wasprobably cold but too damn proud to ask for a something. Bringing itinto the room, you placed it among his heap, in hopes he wouldn’tnotice. You ruffled it in an attempt to make it look natural. Withany luck, by the time he noticed it, he wouldn’t care to mention it.

You were just placing the finishingtouches on his room when you heard the pipes silence and the watershut off. He’d be back soon. You scurried around, picking up anyspare garbage and organizing in a flurry, looking for anything youforgot. Your heart was racing, pumping blood into your ears andspiking your adrenaline, but you weren’t sure why. Were you really soafraid of him? Or was it something else? You tried to shake thethought.

You heard his door squeak, and youturned to greet him. However, the wind was knocked from your lungsand almost dropped you clean to the floor. Shigaraki was standing inthe doorway in nothing but a towel, held up by four of his fingersaround his bony hips. His shaggy periwinkle hair fell down around hisface, small droplets of water falling off onto his chest. His palebody was covered in scattered scars, ranging from long and jagged tosmall and round, placed variously around his lean torso and arms. Youimmediately turned from him, feeling as if you violated himsomehow.“Sir-Boss-I-” You stammered, unable to get asentence out. “I-just-finished-I’m-sorry-I-didn’t-mean-to-” wasall you could really manage.

“I didn’t have any clean clothes.”He whispered, almost sheepishly. He pulled the towel up a littlefurther along his torso, likely feeling exposed.

“Oh!” You slapped your handagainst your forehead, feeling foolish. “I think I have some fromthe last load. Let me check really fast!”

You scurried past him and down thestairs, quickly tearing through the laundry and searching foranything he could wear. You pulled aside a shirt and pair ofsweatpants of his, carefully gathering the rest of his clothing inyour alternating arm and sweeping it together as you tried to stand.You maneuvered it up the stairs, thankful you hadn’t dropped anythingbut unsure exactly what to do when you reached his door. It was stillpartially open, but just barging in felt wrong.

“Um. Boss? I have-”

“Get in here.” His annoyed voicewas back. He didn’t sound happy. You braced yourself.

You entered, kicking the door shutbehind you without prompting. You noticed he was sitting on the bedand the light had been turned off. Unsure of exactly what to do, youheld out the arm with his pants and shirt to him, turning your headaway out of respect. “Here, boss.” Without thinking, you startedwaving the clothing around like a toy for a pet. “I hope thesework. I have all your other clothes here too. I promise I’ll get therest done tomorrow.”

He yanked them from your grip, andshortly after, you heard his towel drop. Another involuntary blushbloomed on your cheeks. The sound of the fabric rustling as hedressed himself filled the room, but all you could hear was theheartbeat in your ears. It seemed like an eternity until he wasdressed.

After enough time had passed, youfinally brought yourself to speak. “Where would you like the restof your clothes?”

“Just throw them in the corner.”

You slowly turned around, notingthat he was fully dressed now and sitting on his bed, controller inhis hand and booting up a game. You shuffled over to a corner of theroom, dropping his clothes unceremoniously on the floor. He saidnothing as you did so, ignoring you in favor of his game. You smiledsoftly, watching his still wet hair cling to his face. He stillneeded to sleep, but you felt much better about his state now.

Before you turned to leave, youtried to memorize the scene. He was clean, well fed, and at least alittle more content, you hoped. His room wasn’t awful, and maybe he’dsleep a little better if it felt a little more like home. Yeah, youweren’t Kurogiri, but you could look after them as best you coulduntil he returned. You opened your mouth to say goodnight.

“Stay.”

Your brows furrowed. Were youhearing things?

“What?”

“Can’t you hear? I said stay.”He wasn’t looking at you, but you were absolutely sure you’d heardthat. You stayed, feeling petrified and looking at him as if he hadgone crazy. His eyes met yours again, then turned down briefly to thespot beside his on the bed before returning his attentions toward theTV.

You were frozen. Had he really askedyou to stay? Did you imagine that? You stayed in your position infront of the door. You didn’t dare move.

“Boss, did you want meto-”

“Don’t make me ask again.” His gaze didn’t turnfrom the TV this time. He was asking you to stay. You hadn’t imaginedthat.

You slowly walked toward his bed,pausing for a moment. Did he want you to sit next to him? Did he wantyou to sit on the floor? What was he asking? Why were youoverthinking this?

He turned and gave you an irateglare, large hand removing itself from the controller to point to thespot next to him. You immediately sat beside him this time, adjustingyourself accordingly as the bed groaned and creased your weight andbrought the two of you closer than you originally intended. Your skinfelt hot as it rubbed against him. You’d never been this close to himbefore. The wetness from his hair dripped onto your shoulder, and youcould smell him now, his natural scent mixed with the soaps from theshower.

His eyes were on you again, sendinga shiver down your spine as his cold hand passed you the controller,fingertips purposely brushing against yours.

“Do you play any video games?”