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#I was planning on having a story focused on a character's paranoia about potentially encountering their dad out in the wild
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One thing they will not tell you about writing is how fun it is to project on your characters.
#Lmao YOU get my anxiety#YOU get my derealisation and how it's tangled with my parental issues#YOU get my—#Wait hold on#You... only have my longing “what ifs” but real and happy childhood memories or “childhood memories but make them happy”..?#Erm... okay...#I struggle a bit with that one because it's like “Huh?”#“You want me to write about lir parents and memories without it being melancholic??”#Like you two are going to STAY silly–goofy SO HELP ME#But I get a spike of anxiety every time lir parents are mentioned and it's like#Oh wait no they're cool I know this I literally wrote them as chill guys#I was planning on having a story focused on a character's paranoia about potentially encountering their dad out in the wild#Based on how the possibility of living near my dad was momentarily (read: buildup over months) a lot more pressing/likely#But the moment's passed. Not much of a possibility we'll be moving there soon now.#It's just background radiation again (since he *does* know where we live and could conceivably fly here. Especially the longer we don't#Visit him over there)#So I don't think I could do it justice#Maybe another time if the possibility becomes more pressing again#It would've been the same subject matter as that Let's Get Burgers 3–parter where Knife keeps running into their abusive ex#For a bit I wanted to make a gross story. Y'know. Story that makes you feel gross. And it would've heavily featured my intrusive thoughts.#I don't really give characters that. I gave Micah a little moment as a treat about being killed by a wild monster/animal and Harlow had som#Anxiety thoughts. But I didn't really have my intrusive thoughts and I think it's a big part of my anxiety so I wanted to portray that.#I don't really want to do that much anymore though. Maybe later if it strikes me.#It's just...! I see a lot of characters. And I do relate to a lot of them (Hello Lake. Knife during the three parter and my interpretation#Of Wally Darling). But I feel like there are big chunks of my experiences that I just don't see. So I'm gonna do some of it myself! Even if#I'm not able to convey it exactly how I experience it! Also#Writing is a good way to get the feelings out/out there to be shared.
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