#I wasn’t aware that other women’s Momma Voice can also affect you

[criminalmindskink]

When The Secret Falls

This was an anon request, thank you again. As always, my request remain open as does my inbox. Stay alert my furry profilers. 

This case has left me absolutely beaten. The unsub killed six more people with us in town before we could stop him. I am absolutely thrilled this is over. I look around at the team and can see everyone here feels the same. There is this feeling of happy accomplishment mixed with a gloomy cloud. I attempt to say words of encouragement when my phone begins to ring. The number on the screen is unfamiliar, causing my face to scrunch in confusion. 

I swipe the screen and place the phone to my ear “Agent Bozelli, How can I help you?” I state into the phone. In response I hear an all to familiar chuckle over the phone. The sound causes my entire body to tense and my eyes to widen. 

“Now now angel, we both know that isn’t your name.” my father gruffs out in distaste.”We should sit down and talk about it.” he suggests. 

The thought of seeing this man again causes anger to surge through me. My grip on the phone tightened “I will never see you again.  You will lose this number. You will not contact me in any way ever again. Do you understand me? I see you and I will put bullets in both of your knee caps.” I seethe into the technology at my ear. I stand and begin to pace before continuing. “You are a low down, dirty, piece of garbage. I want nothing to do with you. Why do you think I changed my last name? You deserve to burn alive for what you did. Stay away from me.” I finish with malice in my tone. 

I end the call and place both of my hands on the wall. I slide them until they are stretched out against the surface and hang my head. He’s out, how could i have let the date slip past me? Why is he even out he slaughtered eight women in our home. People like that don’t change, and they don’t get better. I draw in a deep breath before turning to the rest of the team. All of their eyes are on me, wanting to know. 

I place my hands up in surrender and shake my head “Please, not now.” I plead in an almost whimper. Both Hotch and Rossi’s eyes light up in realization while the others are giving me looks of confusion. I grab my things and walk outside of the station to get some fresh air. I toss my phone into a trash bin on the way out, it’s only toxic to me now. 

“Y/N, if you need anything I’m here. You know the team will protect you.” I hear Hotch’s comforting tone from behind me. “Though, it may be time to explain everything to them.” He finishes with a look of understanding. One of his hands are on my left shoulder now as he tries to console the anger I’m feeling. 

“Aaron, what are they going to think of me? I’ve had my name changed, I’ve lied to them. Especially Reid, I’ve gotten close to everyone here but especially him.” I whisper to him before bringing my hands through my hair. A tear falls down my face as I think of Spence. What is he going to think? Especially after everything with Emily. 

He brings his arms around my body and brings me into a crushing hug. “They’ll understand, I promise.” He whispers into my ear as the team leaves the station. I wipe the tears from my face and give Hotch a nod as a thank you. 

We all get into the SUVs to head to the plane. He’s right, I need to come clean to everyone. I knew this day would come, I just wasn’t aware it would hit me like this. 

As we arrive at the plane everyone takes their normal seats. Hotch gets Garcia on video call and holds his finger to his lips. I stand at the head of the plane before sitting in a chair that allows me to read everyone’s faces as I speak to them. I clear my throat before beginning. “So, I need to come clean with everyone here. Before I start I want to say I’m sorry but I only did this for my own peace of mind. I lied to you. My real name is F/N L/N. Yes, like the murderer. William L/N is my father. He went to prison two days after my eighteenth birthday. After that, I had my last name changed and enrolled in the academy. That phone call I received in the station, it-it was my father. He’s been let out of prison, on parole, I assume. He’s looking for me now, claims he wants to speak. I believe we can all agree that’s a bunch of bullshit.” I finish my monologue and take a deep breath. It honestly feels as if a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

I take a second to take in the looks on everyone’s faces. Spence looks as if he’s in deep thought. Rossi and Hotch are both waiting to see the reaction of everyone else. Derek looks shocked yet understanding. Seaver just looks confused. She hasn’t really been here that long so that’s understanding. 

“Oh baby girl I’m so sorry” I suddenly hear Pen’s voice come through. “If I was there I would bundle you up and give you all the sweets and affection I can manage. I’m gonna hang up because it looks like I have a bad guy to deter from my sweet baby Y/N. Love you sunshine!” She rushes out before ending the call. 

I look to the screen in adoration before I feel the seat beside me dips down a bit. I look beside me to find Spencer had moved to be beside me. He lays his face in the crook of my neck before hugging me with a strength I had never felt from him. “Y/N the team is here for you. We will help you okay? Also, you don’t have to apologize for protecting yourself. We all love you. You’re family.” He states to me with confidence and a comforting smile on his face. I cry out before hugging him tightly in response. 

“He’s right little momma, we all love you. We have your back. Thank you for coming clean. There isn’t a person here that could be mad at that pretty face either.” I hear Derek calmly state from his seat. 

I allow a huge smile to grace my face. I notice Seaver is staring at me with understanding, I look to her and nod in recognition. She knows exactly what I’m currently going through. “I, I love you guys so much. Thank you for being so understanding. I promise you’re stuck with me for a while” I laugh out, still in Spencer’s embrace.

I look to Hotch and Rossi, nodding a thank you to the two men. They’ve known since I joined the team. The two have always backed me up and picked me up when I got down. I never wanna find out what I’d do without them. 

“Enclose your heart in times of need with the steel of your determination and your strength. I’m doing this, all things will be bearable.” - Lora Leigh

[oh-so-scenarios]

Tell Me...Say It [1]

How can I love the works without loving the artist?

Word Count: 3.8k

Genre/Warning: Angst, fluff -- Mentions of eating disorders(For a short moment)

⇾ Updates every Wednesday (EST)

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The smell of a hospital is gross to some, and causes others to grow sick. The smell of metal and rubbing alcohol that gets stuck in the back of people’s throat, leaving a bitter after taste. The air is filled with various machines beeping, and doctors with nurses trailing behind them. The atmosphere can leave people anxious and tends to cause stress to those who are waiting.

For me, it’s the opposite. This environment has been my second home for two years. The beeps of machines, and the occasional crying of newborn babies is normal white noise in the waves of sound around me. Bright white walls, and open windows with tall trees looming in front of them. The colorful yet dying leaves brought the internal warm of fall with the anticipation of holidays such as Halloween, Thanksgiving and the highly favored Christmas.

The hospital is always the same around this time. Everyone gets festive and walks around with huge, but strained smiles on their lips.

The festive scrubs make an appearance while holiday decorations are hung on the normally plain walls. Scrubs with pumpkins, leaves and black cats and other things put in the category of Halloween. I usually complain about it but that would be hypocritical.

I took a short look at my orange scrub top, holding multiple black and white cats. If you looked hard enough, you could notice small jack-o'lanterns smiling widely.

I walk through the busy hallway to room 134, holding the last patient on my list. Before sliding the door open, I made sure to stretch a smile onto my slightly chapped lips.

Working at Seoul National Hospital has taught me one important thing; entering a patient’s room with anything less than a smile is a setup for disaster. Whether you’re a doctor, or a nurse like myself, the patient is reading your face and body language with hopes of understanding the gist of the coming news. Walking in with a frown, and the patient will begin to panic.

I slide the door open and stroll into Mr. Kwon’s hospital room. His eyes don’t leave the TV screen for more than a second. He looks my way, acknowledging my presence than looks back to his TV screen.

Mr. Kwon, a 78 year old man, is frequently in the hospital. He suffers from a heart condition, and though his doctor often recommends him medication, he fails to take it.

“Hello, Mr. Kwon,” I greet with a small smile, “How are you doing today?” I catch the flicker of his eyes when he finally looks my way. Rather than looking away, he gazes at me for a moment. Then like a light switch, his face brightens with a toothy smile.

“I’m better, now that you’re here nurse Y/n.” He chimes. I giggle but say no more. Just like Mr. Kwon. A crazy flirt who will talk to sweet to anyone but his wife. His wife isn’t seen often at the hospital.

She visits occasionally, mostly to see if he’s dead yet. I can’t make this up. She has asked one too many times, “How close to death is he?” We tend to laugh it off, leaving the slight worry we feel to ourselves.

“I’m going to check on your drip and take a look at your vitals.” I explain, hanging the plastic clipboard in my hands, on the end of his bed.

I walk around the still man, looking at his drip which didn’t need to be switched just yet. I checked his vitals, blood pressure, heart rate and pulse. Everything seemed normal. I am brought out of my concentration when a hand promptly smacks my backside, leaving me to become rigid. I turn to Mr. Kwon who shows me a proud grin.

This is my fault. I left myself open when I should have known better.

Mr. Kwon is known for being a touchy patient. He has been passed to about three nurses, making me the fourth. The second nurse was a man, but that didn’t affect Mr. Kwon behavior in anyway.

I sigh, showing him a strained smile, “Sir, I’ve already warned you. Keep your hands to yourself.” My words are taken with a grain of salt as Mr. Kwon giggles. Without a word, I walk to the end of the bed, taking his personal patient chart, writing the numbers of his vitals.

I grab my own clipboard, giving him a light ‘good bye’ thus prompting him to reply with a wink.

I walk down the hallway till I come to the center of the floor where Suzy, my co-worker sat behind a desk.

“You’ve returned.” Suzy teases. I giggle, rolling my eyes.

“You think Mr. Kwon can ruin my day? You must not know me.” I say. She snickers in reply, stretching her hand out. I give her back the clipboard and lean against the counter. My eyes skim the area to settle on a familiar figure making their way closer. I can practically here Suzy’s breathing stop and can’t help but chuckle.

“Dr. Park,” She says, her voice a key higher than normal. She is so whipped for this guy. He’s personally not my type, but I can understand what she sees in him. I must be the weird one, because just about every female and a few males love Dr. Park.

I turn to him, staring at his profiles as he exchanged clipboards with Suzy. He doesn’t look my way once, not that I wanted him to. He’s a quiet and delicate man who is too good to be true. A surgeon with a pretty face, soft smile yet intense and deep eyes. Sounds like a manga character to me. His sharp jaw yet soft face was something all the women swooned over.

Like I said, not my type.

He takes the new clipboard from Suzy, barely making eye contact with her as his managed a soft word of thanks. He walks away, taking Suzy’s attention in the process. I stare at her for a moment, hoping she’d snap out of the trance herself.

I open my mouth, ready to say something smart, but she beats me to it. The love sick expression on her face is hard to miss.

“I had a blind date last night.” She left the statement hanging, leaving me to jump to my own conclusions.

“It went badly, huh?” I say, with a look of pity.

She finally looks away from the space Dr. Park once stood and back to me. She stares at me before groaning, answering my question, “He wasn’t cute, and he was all about his mother.”

“A momma’s boy? Yikes.” I shift my weight onto my other foot, “Did he at least have money?”

“Yes,” a short pause, “his mother’s money.” I throw my head back in disappointment. Suzy nevers has luck with dates. Ever since we met back in school as we were both studying to be RNs, all her boyfriends were loser who only cared for their mothers.

“I need to get a man that has his life together,” Her words were clearly coming from a place of bitterness.

“A man like Dr. Park?” I tease, raising an eyebrow her way.

“I wish,” She scoffs, “I could be naked and he still won’t give me a minute of his day.”

I watch in silence while Suzy grabs another clipboard and hands it to me. Before setting my eyes on the papers, I turn to Suzy.

“How is this patient list looking?” I question, clenching my teeth nervously. A grim smile grazes her lips and the breath I’ve been holding leaves my lips abruptly.

“Great.” I hiss, turning my attention to the list.  My eyes skim the names momentarily before I look back to Suzy.

“Gotta run.” I say. I head down the opposite hallway I came from, which led to the VIP hospital rooms. Those room hold celebrities, athletes, CEOs and other rich people. It’s not often that I look after a patient in these rooms, but this is a special case.

Hani.

Kang Hani, a sixteen year old girl who has driven herself to an eating disorder to stay skinny. The other nurses were hoping to avoid her on their list, so she was given to me. I like dealing with rough patients. As a nurse, you are expected to be a people person, no matter the personality you are met with.

I stand in the doorway, watching the other nurse who is assigned to Hani. Her assignment? To make sure Hani eats. It would be easier to teach an elephant Korean. I giggle at my own thoughts and stroll into the room, Hani’s eyes snapping my way.

There it is. That glare of hers. Her fierce and guarded eyes also held hurt, which others seem to overlook. She must be used to seeing me at this point. It’s my third day being her nurse, but the glare is just ugly as day one.

I give her a big smile, mumbling a small greet and hanging my clipboard on her bed end. It’s at that moment that I become aware of Mrs. Kang sitting at Hani bedside, a bit of space between her and the bed. The disapprovement resting on her facial expressions was enough.

I’m sure she can feel my eyes on her, but she does not met my gaze. I look back at Hani, checking her vitals while the nurse continues to pursue her.

“Seriously, Hani?” Mrs. Kang voice snaps like a whip in the silence. The other nurse jumps in shock, and though I was surprised, my body didn’t show it. I silently hope that the conversation doesn’t continue.

“Hani, why are we here?” Mrs. Kang continues, “Why are we here? Why are you doing this? An eating disorder, really?” Mrs. Kang stares at her daughter with questioning eyes, that were almost...mocking her.

My movements pause, shocked by the hostility given off by Mrs. Kang. Hani’s poker face doesn’t drop. She looks back down at the food in front of her, then set her eyes on me. I show her a sad smile, and resume my work.

“Are you planning on becoming a stereotypical model? Eating disorders? This is why we got you a personal trainer!” I look up and meet Mrs. Kang’s hot glare.

“Nurse Y/n! Am I being over dramatic?” She asks staring at expectantly. My mouth is open, unsure what to say. I look at Hani who was also waiting for my answer.

I laugh nervously, “It’s not my place to say.”

Mrs. Kang didn’t budge, “I want you hear your opinion. My daughter thinks I don’t understand.”

My eyes shift to Hani, and back to Mrs. Kang.

Why am I always put in a spot like this? I try my best to stay out of patient’s personal business. My job is to care for you, and bring you back to help. I don’t want to step my foot into family issues. Despite this, both Hani and her mother have their eyes trained on me. I sigh, a long and drawn out breath.

“I believe the solution to this problem is to take her out of the environment that caused it.” I answer quietly, and look to the drip beside Hani.

“Excuse me,” I say to the other nurse, “please bring a new drip.” She stands up quickly and shuffles out the room. I wasn’t aware of Mrs. Kang’s stunned expression.

I stop my movement to respond to her big eyes with an eyebrow raise.

“Stop modeling?” She scoffs, “What else can she do besides modeling? What do you know?” I have to keep my face from scrunching up in confusion.

She asked for my opinion did she not? I laugh humorlessly and set my eyes on Hani. She hasn’t spoken a word since I entered the room, and I’m curious how long she’s been silent.

“Hani, what do you like to do?” I say, walking to the end of her bed. My work here is done. I grab my clipboard, looking at the next patient.

When I don’t hear a reply from Hani, I glance up from the clipboard. My expecting gaze makes her mouth open and one single word leaves her lips. Her voice is hoarse and tired, but it seemed to be the loudest voice in the room.

“Science.”

My lips curl up into a huge smile, and my heart swells in my chest while tears bubble into Hani’s tired eyes. She looks at her mother with sad eyes and Mrs. Kang stares back.

“That’s pretty simple,” I cock my head at Hani then focus on her speechless mother. It’s easy to see there hasn’t been any communication between these two.

“I’m sure it won’t be hard to find some after school activities for science.” I say to Mrs. Kang, giving her one last smile before turning around and making my way out the room.

I let out a deep sigh and l make my way to the next patient on the list.

Kim Taehyung, who had his appendix removed some days ago. He is set to be discharged today. There isn’t much I can say about this patient. He sticks to himself, his laptop always on his lap as he types away. I was thinking he was an author, but that doesn’t to seem be the case.

I slide the door open and see Taehyung with his laptop on his lap, like always. What was different this time was the phone plastered to his ear. His face showed irritation and impatient. He gazed at me then smiled kindly. He continued his conversation, his brown hair swept over his forehead while he glared at his laptop screen.

“It’s been months and we still have nothing.” He speaks into the phone just as I place my clipboard on the end of his bed. I do my regular work, checking vitals, stats and his drip.

“Yoongi, just admit it. This creative block isn’t going anywhere. It’s been months and we don’t have a single song done.” He replies to whoever is on the line.

Another moment of silence, “You know I don’t have the money for that.” Taehyung groans, leaning back into the bed.

A longer silence, “Well we have to figure this out. The script is done, but we can’t move forward without the musical numbers.”

I check the last of the things needed, before looking at Taehyung till I catch his attention. He puts the phone to his chest, staring up at my curiously.

“I will have the discharge forms brought to you soon.” I speak softly. He nods vigorously and smiles.

“Thank you.” He answers kindly then resumes his phone call. I walk out, making sure to grab my clipboard in the process.

Running up and down, changing diapers and bathing the elderly. The second half of my shift is always the most tiring. That’s how I found myself leaning against the vending machine for support while I aimlessly munched on a protein bar.

My eyes stay on the clock hanging on the opposite wall. My shift is over in 20 minutes, and I’ve finished everything required of me.

While I am lost in my thoughts, my phone begins to vibrate in the pocket of my scrub top. I groan and reach to grab it, not surprised to see the name on my screen,

I answer the phone, placing it to my ear.

“Yes, Da-hee. What can I help you with?” I greet softly.

Da-hee, my younger sister, giggles. I roll my eyes already knowing what is coming my way. She’s going to ask for a favor. She’s 22,so she’s not a child anymore, but since our parents baby her, she expects everyone to.

I can’t blame her, she was an only child up till her parents adopted me when I was 17 years old. She surprising adjusted to having me in the family. Though I can’t tell if she was excited to have an older sister, or someone to ask for favors. Though, she does treat me like a true sister, and helped me adjust to life in Korea.

“Guess.” She eggs on, her voice higher than normal.

“A blind date?” I question before taking another bite of my protein bar. The short silence from the other line tells me I’m right.

“You want me to call you as if it’s an emergency again?” I add. Da-hee has been calling me for the past few months with this same sketchy panic. Mrs. Kim, Da-hee’s mother and my adoptive mother, have been pushing for Da-hee to get married. This was after forcing Da-hee to break up with a tattoo artist she was seeing.

Being her father’s daughter, she needs someone who matches her status. Mr. Kim owns an investment company that funds many projects for others. After having Da-hee, Mrs. Kim was unable to have another child, drowning the hopes for a son. Da-hee is now the ticket to find a worthy son-in-law.

Unfortunately, the men that meet Mr. & Mrs. Kim’s high standards have all been too old, or too ugly for Da-hee’s basic standards. This results in her rushing to me for help every time. Over the past few months Da-hee has me call her faking a family death, a car accident and more. I don’t know why our parents still try. After she bails the date early, she receives a scolding then they plan another date as if she’ll listen.

Da-hee hasn’t revealed that I am the friend who calls her and assists with her escape. She’s lucky I’m helping in the first place. If I am dragged into the mess with mom and dad, she knows that'll be the last time I help her.

“No..” She trails off, “I need a bigger favor.”

“Which is what?”

“I’m not going to show up.”

“You’re gonna completely ditch this time?” My shock wasn’t very convincing. I knew they would push her to this point.

“I’m meeting with someone, but I don’t want to be rude. Can you stop by and apologize for me? Doing it over the phone seems rude.” She explains.

My shoulders drop as I sigh, “Text me the address and his name.”

“Thank you! Thank you so much Y/n!” She cheers.

“Yeah, yeah,” I mumble, “but you owe me one.”

I hang up in time to see Suzy approaching me with a knowing smile, “Was that Da-hee?”

I roll my eyes, “You already know it was. Another blind date that I have to keep from happening.” I pocket my phone and take the last bite of my protein bar, waving goodbye to Suzy and heading to the employee room to clock out early.

It isn’t long before I find myself in my car, following the GPS to the casual restaurant where Da-hee’s unsuspecting blind date is waiting. Da-hee can’t stand to sit through another one of these, and I can’t blame her. All her dates have been over 35, which is too old in her mind, and have not been attractive. They all, however, have amazing background in business and great work ethic and experience. Nothing that Da-hee cares for.

Traffic wasn’t too bad, seeing as it wasn’t even 7 yet, so I got there pretty quickly. I walk in, wearing my black coat and orange, halloween themed scrubs. I catch the eyes of a server right away. I am not dressed to be dining in their facility, so I stick out like a sore thumb.

The place was about half-full. There were large windows, letting in the little sunlight allowed by the cloudy sky. Couples sat all around, sharing food and feeding each other. Older, wealthier women also sat in the restaurant speaking to each other and giggling.

“Hello ma’am,” A young girl approaches me. She’s wearing all black with a black apron around her waist, “How may I help you?”

I pull my phone from my pocket and look at Da-hee’s text once again.

“I’m looking for ‘Min Yoongi’?” I say and look up at her unsure. Her eyes run from my head to my feet, and back to my unsure eyes.

“You’re the one meeting Mr. Min?” Her words showed her uneasiness, but I wasn’t bothered by it.

“Yes. Where is he?”

“Right over there ma’am.” She steps further into the restaurant and I follow her. She stretches her hand out, pointing to the young man sitting at a table beside the window. My eyes widen.

That’s him? He’s young, and handsome. Is Da-hee sure she doesn’t want to sit through this date?

I walk towards his table, inwardly gasping when I get closer to the man. He is...extremely handsome. I feel my heart pumping harder while my nerves bounced around in my stomach. He can’t be any older than me.

He was focused on something, looking down at some papers set in front of him. He held a pencil in his hand and tapped it fiercely against the square wooden table. When I got closer, he noticed my presence and stood, assuming I was Da-hee.

Unlike the employees of this restaurant, he didn’t notice my attire. Rather his eyes were focused on my face, looking right into my eyes.

“Kim Da-hee?” He says, and stretch a hand out.

Wow, he has a nice deep voice.

I catch my breath, “No.” His hand drops while his face scrunches up in confusion.

“I’m here to inform you that Da-hee won’t be able to make it, and I am apologizing on her behalf.” I speak kindly. I bow 90 degrees and hear him chuckle. I stand straight to see a small smile on his lips.

“So you’re not Da-hee?” He asks.

“No, I’m not.” My eyes flick to the table to see that the papers he was focused on was not work documents. It was sheet music for a work of music. I look back to the man, clearly taking in his presence. He’s wearing a navy blue dress shirt, with a black blazer and black suit pants. I was too busy checking him out, I didn’t hear him speaking to me.

“I’m sorry, what?” I snap out of my trance.

He snickers, “I said, it’s a shame that Da-hee can’t make it. Unfortunately, I’ve already ordered for two.” He puts a hand in the pocket of his pants.

“Why don’t you sit and eat with me?” He suggests.

Thrown off, my voice is a little below a shout, “Me?”

“Why not? You’re here.”

He wants me to eat with him? What’s up with this guy? I guess he didn’t care much for the blind date in the first place. Eh, he’s attractive, but I’m not interested. I have a lot of things to do once I get home.

“Thank you, but no thank you. Have a good meal.” I tell him, and spin around on my heels, exiting the restaurant.

The moment I’m in the half-empty parking lot, I call Da-hee. She answers on the second ring.

“Was he angry?” Her first words when she picks up.

“No,” I tell her, “but he was young.”

“Oh really?” She doesn't sound like she believes me.

“He was really cute too.”

“Yeah, if you think he’s cute then I can be certain he’s not.” She giggles and the line goes dead just as I reach my car.

A/N: This a different writing style than I normally do. Tell me what you think! :D