#I'VE WANTED TO WRITE HIM SAYING THIS FOR SO LONG AHAHFSHDNJSKZ

[amee-racle-ofmyown]

Deadpan: expressionless, to conceal emotion or heighten humour | SE Saeran (response to @randomstuff7739)

'Something's wrong.'

It was simultaneously a statement and a command rather than a question, as if to say, 'You better tell me what's up with you.'

Saeyoung sighed. His twin was right of course.

'I've just been thinking about… maybe…' 

He sighed again, struggling to form his thoughts into words. 

Saeyoung spoke again, his voice low and grave, a distant look glazed over his amber eyes. 'Way back then… I was so cold because I was terrified of her getting hurt… And I can't help but think about all the times I've since made the same mistake, even when I… I just don't get why she still- She's too nice for her own good sometimes, what if she's still really upset but isn't saying anything?'

Saeran was quiet for a moment. She is kind. It's one of the reasons I chose her back then. In the past he would have gone as far as to call it naivety. But he recalled the way she had been honest with him years ago… about wanting him to earn her trust, after everything he did… Over time, he had learned there was a difference, after all. That showing compassion didn't necessarily go hand in hand with blindly trusting and being betrayed. That if she was willing to give him a chance, maybe he could give Saeyoung one too. 

'I think… you should trust her more.'

He was quiet again, continuing when his brother didn't respond, only fidgeting with the string of his hoodie and looking slightly ashamed. 

'That was a long time ago… She forgives you, you've got to forgive yourself and move on. At least… that's what the doc says. Think about me, I've picked a whole f*cking bunch of oopsie daisies.'

Saeyoung's head perked up, with a look of disbelief despite the smile spreading across his face. Something about the way his younger twin had spoken those words (was it the blank expression he maintained the whole time? The dead serious tone? The fact that he, with his typically dry and sarcastic humour, had actually made a casual joke with his choice of phrasing?) had filled him with delight and rendered him unable to follow whatever else Saeran may have been planning to say (which likely wasn't much; he wasn't often a man of many words).

'Wait wait wait- did you just- "oopsie daisies"??' Saeyoung questioned, barely repressing his laughter. 

'Y- yeah. Don't laugh! It just… makes me feel slightly less shitty about… everything, I guess…' 

'I'm so proud of you.'

Saeran made an exasperated noise akin to a groan, while his brother only grinned from ear to ear.

'... You know, if it really bothers you that much, you should just talk to her about it, idiot.'

Saeyoung took a deep breath, running both hands through his red hair. 

'Yeah, you're right. Thanks, Saeran-ah.' 

His brother didn't say anything but the corners of his mouth twitched upwards ever so slightly. It was more than enough. Saeyoung was already brimming with joy.