#I'll probably never get tired of drawing Jamie either

[blank-ace]

“Look, we’re matching!” @cojick

[lady-o-ren]

My Dearest Disaster

//Jamie Fraser finally meets the girl of his dreams . . . too bad anytime he gets near her disaster strikes and he ends up in the hospital.//

Chapter One //

Chapter Two

Chapter Two ao3 link ( HERE )

Outside Kiko's Cafe, where the air is warm and sweetened with baked delights, Ian Murray sits beside his lovely wife. She's small as a dove yet fierce as a jackal with a heart so big she feels the need to hide it in a snarl.

He's loved her nearly all his life.

"Ye’re just gonna piss him off, Jen," warns Ian, watching his wife text her brother for the fifth time, and takes a sip of his coffee. A pecan roast that makes him want to smack his lips.

“Good. Because if it weren't for that brother of mine being late I wouldn'a have eaten all this,” she scowls, and gestures at the plates stacked atop their table, having gone a bit mad sampling every gooey rich delight that caught her eye. There's even a dab of raspberry curd on the corner of her lips.

Ian smiles and thumbs it away, enjoying the embarrassment coloring Jenny's face.

“Ye ate twice that much when ye woke, mo ghràdh. Enough to put a hog to shame."

Jenny cuts him a murderous look that could bleed the devil but it only makes Ian's smile widen. He wraps an arm around her slight shoulders and leans in close (mindful of her sharp gleaming teeth taking aim for his throat) to brush his mouth against the smooth white shell of her ear and whispers for only her to hear.

“And I need not remind ye what I had either. Ye were wanting seconds if I recall, screamed it loud enough for the whole damn building to hear.”

Before Jenny can sink her teeth to her husband's smug mouth, Jamie comes and plops down in the chair across from them. His eyes are tired and puffy as cotton balls but it's his nose that draws the two Murray's attention, bandaged and anchored by a most unflattering face guard.

"Broke it." The grump says before they can ask. "Guess how.”

Neither of them care. They're both bubbling over with laughter.

"What the hell is on yer face?!"

"Ye look like Hannibal! Fecking Hannibal!"

Jamie rips the guard off, flushed dark as the raspberry curd.

But it's too late. His sister has already taken a picture and is texting away.

“Ye didn't, Jenny?"

“Aye, I did,” she wickedly grins, angling her hand out of her brother's reach. “Sent it to mam too.”

And Ding Ding her phone goes off.

“Christ! What does she have to say?”

“It's Murtagh,” she replies, staring gleefully at the text on the screen.

Jamie drops his head, hands raking through his curls.

“Shite! Now I'll never hear the end of it,” he groans miserably. “Why did ye have to send it to him?”

“I didn't ye big baby, just mam. They've been spending time together over at Lallybroch so he's probably sitting there beside her just now.”

Jamie lifts his head looking puzzled.

“Why’s he wi’ mam?” He asks with the innocence of a child.

Ian shakes his head.

“Don't tell him, Jen.”

“What?” Jamie's eyes dash back and forth between them. “Is mam sick?”

Jenny sighs and Ian chuckles into her velvety hair.

“No.” She shakes her head, looking fondly at her brother. “ She's just as clueless as you. So what happened to ye? That girl again?”

Jamie huffs. Thoughts of his godfather spending time with his mother forgotten.

“She's more than that. I haven’t figured out what but I ken she's cursed. Because this -” He points to his nose. “Isn’t normal. I dinna ken how much more I can take. What more can be done to me short of death.”

Though she thinks her brother is being a bit dramatic, Jenny crooks her finger, calling Jamie to her like a mistreated pup and carefully takes his chin in her hand.

“Was it just the nose, bràthair?” She asks, sounding a great deal more sympathetic.

“Aye, phiuthar,” he answers back, and she lets him go with a sweet caress of his cheek followed by a wee playful smack that makes him smile crookedly.

“And a lucky thing too. See, it was the middle of the night and I heard this pounding. . .”

After Jamie finishes telling his tale of woe, he slumps down into his chair, exhausted from having to live through it all again.

“Ye do have the worst luck wi’ women, Jamie. I always wondered why. ” Jenny leans forward with her chin in hand, frowning at him.

“At least she's nothing like Laoghaire Mackenzie.” Ian points out.

Jamie shivers, feeling an eerie chill crawl up his spine.

Laoghaire Mackenzie was a girl he spoke to once in passing in the schoolyard as a lad and she had latched onto him like a leech up until . . .

“Is she still in Wentworth Asylum?”

“Of course she is,” says Jenny. “She danced naked at auld Craigh na Dun begging the devil to have ye fall in love wi’ her. Even sacrificed a fecking squirrel on an altar to seal the deal.”

“I heard it was a toad," says Jamie. "Puir wee shite.”

Jenny continues. “Remember when mam caught her sprinkling horse shite at our front door? I still haven't figured out why.”

“Are ye sure it was horse shite?” Ian grins, and Jenny rolls her eyes.

“It was horse shite," Jamie mutters. "I would know. I stepped in it.”

He then points a finger at his sister, glaring at her.

” And ye laughed at me, Jenny. Even when I told ye she'd been stalking me ye cackled yer wee arse off and said to either sleep wi’ our grandda’s dirk under my pillow or change my name and head to France.”

Jenny slaps her brother's finger making him yelp.

“Weel, how was I to ken the wee loony would be summoning the devil a week later.”

“The wee toad sure didn't.”

Both brother and sister groan at Ian's joke but it's enough to dispel the tension.

“So what did ye two want to talk to me about anyway? Going off again?”

The Murray's had been traveling to every port they could manage since the moment they married almost a year ago and had only been back in Scotland a few months since.

Jenny takes a deep breath and locks lovesick eyes with Ian, grabbing his hand. Wedding bands shining.

“No, not for a good while, no.”

Jamie brightens. Though his sister could be a thorn in his arse he'd missed her and Ian terribly.

“See the thing is -”

“Ye’re the first person we wanted to tell -”

Both Murray's exchange an excited glance with each other before Jenny knocks her brother's heart from his chest in one gesture of her hand that flutters to her belly.

Jamie's throat bobs.

“Ye’re going to be a mam, Jenny?”

She nods excitedly, grinning madly with joy. “Aye, and we wanted to name the wee one after ye, dear bhràthair. No matter if it's a girl or boy, if ye dinna mind.”

Jamie's eyes gloss over feeling his chest swell. He has to blink to keep them from stinging.

“Christ! I'd be honored! But why me?”

Jenny reaches across the table and takes her brother's big hand in both her own.

“Believe it or not, Jamie, I love ye something awful. We both do."

Then, because she's an older sister, Jenny can't help but add -

"And ye'll be needing a namesake if that lass of yers kills ye before ye can sire one yerself and -"

She squeals when Jamie squeezes her hands and leans over the table, expecting the absolute worst. But he only kisses her softly on her forehead, careful with his injured nose.

"I love ye something awful too, Jenny.”

//

A/N: The chapters for this fic are written and finished. I tried writing it like chapter one, real quick and fast and short and dumb, so hopefully it all works and nothing reads too ooc.

*Kiko's Cafe is named after my cat and also a little nod to Kiki's Delivery Service.