#I'm TRAUMATIZED. constant threats of violence. religious brainwashing. parentification. ripping my siblings (who I RAISED) from me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs | Tumgik

#I'm TRAUMATIZED. constant threats of violence. religious brainwashing. parentification. ripping my siblings (who I RAISED) from me

beskad · 4 months

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#oh. it's because i got cocky and had 2 drinks. FOUR DAYS AGO.#jesus christttt the reaction is SO DELAYED. Have 1-2 drinks. Fine for 2-3 days. Massive depressive dip on day 3 or 4.#this fuckin sucks i LOVE alcohol and i drink SO RARELY and i can't even have the occasional 1-2 drinks once a week anymore #because of this stupid fucking medication that isn't doing anything for me anyway #because shocker - I'm just traumatized. my issues are because of trauma #20+ years of constant fear of bodily harm will fuck you up for life #and antidepressants won't fix me because it's not that I'm Just Depressed TM #I'm TRAUMATIZED. constant threats of violence. religious brainwashing. parentification. ripping my siblings (who I RAISED) from me #so please god don't make me try a 7th antidepressant that will just land me in the ER again. they only ever disrupt me and make me Way Wors #but i can't afford the type of therapy i need #so #god #at least let me have my fuckin wine I'm begging #but I guess at least I realized why I've been doing so badly yesterday and today. smh.#it's hidden in the tags bc I'm just venting but just in case #have a trauma tw for filters I guess #TBD

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