#I'm also never going to serve something I think is mediocre. that's against my beliefs (re-reading my work and thinking its awesome)

[punch-love]

hello !! i hope you are well !! ive been curious about something for a tiny bit now, with works like Love Punch that you don’t have quite the same spark for, how does it feel immediately after uploading a chapter? is it like submitting homework? do you feel more energized or tired? do you wait for comments or just put everything down and go do something else?

I was just talking about this with a friend. I don't think uploading any piece of work feels like submitting homework. It's always exhilarating to put something out there that you've worked hard on. I think....it's not as fun to work on something that you don't have quite the same spark for, but the act of sharing it always going to be really fun for me. I know that my readers have to wait months between updates so the first flood of "I was so excited to read this after work!" or "I can't believe this updated!" comments is always so heartwarming. Just because I don't enjoy writing it as much as I used to, my initial feelings toward the reception of it is always going to be very positive.

You'd be hard-pressed to find a writer who isn't anxiously checking their in-box for new comments to see how someone receives something they've worked so hard on. That being said, I absolutely dread getting new comments on OLD chapters. I feel like the patience I had with bad takes or "update when?" (which was nearly non-existence already lol) now makes me occasionally considering comment locking it until it updates. I don't care what people have to say on them anymore unless what they have to say is interesting or thoughtful. I also mostly get the same "this was so good. update this immediately." and it drives me up the wall + makes me want to work on it less. Seriously. If you want someone to do the opposite of what you want, comment ‘update when’ and see what happens.

Here's the thing though - positive attention is a drug like nothing else. It doesn't matter where it comes from or how you get it, if I worked hard on something that I think is good and people are engaging with it I'm pretty happy no matter how much of a spark I have. The actual process of writing is significantly more difficult now that I have less interest (it is very hard to write a romance when you're like I don't know if these people should be together. actually - uh - ) and it does feel like the boulder I have chained myself to until I roll it up fourteen more hills but -

The day I upload is always going to be serotonin city. I prepared this stupidly difficult and purposefully delicious meal for you I am so excited to hear how much you enjoyed it.