#I'm feeling filled with joy and whimsy rn

[fagdykepearlescentmoon]

Yk what fuck it I'm feeling joyous and filled with love in going to be a sap for a second.

I am not very good at holding onto people online. My self isolation tendencies and anxiety always mean that I end up cutting people off despite how much I love them. But it's actually kind of nice yk, to be able to have silly people in my phone who I can talk to.

Its interesting the way that friends are made. It starts out as someone I might like to know, someone I interact with once or twice entirely by chance. (I remember looking at someone's tumblr who I'm now quite close with and thinking how I would like to befriend them even though I thought there would be no chance of it.) And then a few months later I leave a call or respond to a message or reblog a post and realise I have fallen utterly in (platonic) love with someone I have never met irl.

I might have only known these people for a few months but I love them so so much it makes me feel sick. I daydream about meeting my online friends in real life to make myself happy. Honestly it's a little pathetic.

But I'm rambling now. The point is whether we are mutuals who've talked once or someone I never go a day without messaging I love you I love you I love you. I love you so much it hurts and you deserve to have a wonderful year and a wonderful life and I will try my best to be there for you, even through a screen.