#I'm not an expert but you know how physical abuse can sometimes lead to sense of lacking control
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Rewatching dead boy detectives and I love the music box that starts playing when Charles started hitting the night nurse. Like, the haunting melody went so well with the shock of what we learned about Charles' past and his sudden outburst (spiralling out of control, the feeling of the world beating down on you over and over and even when you try your best, be your best self, it isn't enough and there isn't anything you can do). And then morphed to something more upbeat/thrilling when she fell into the sea, followed by complete silence with Charles' breakdown. Oughhhhhhhhh
#dead boy detectives spoilers#mention of abuse ahead ->#those scenes were so good but so hard to watch. the belt hits close to home especially#I'm not an expert but you know how physical abuse can sometimes lead to sense of lacking control#how your body is something that should only belong to you#and you can't even stop it from being struck by the hands of those who are supposed to care for you#him mentioning his father smashed his tape and he said it wasn't a big deal#him being violated by the night nurse by being forced to relive his pain and everything that's been going on#world falling apart in front of you / there's nothing to be done but let it happen despite your best effort#I guess it feels like old ghosts in different form#no wonder why devlin house was a torture for him#when charles said he can't stop anything I justtttttttttttt#charles ily so much.......................#anyway my head's fever-muddled
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