#I'm soooooo tired i feel sooooooo lonely
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I'm sooo frustrated with my dad atm. I'm exhausted in general as previously mentioned but my dad's refusal to solve anything which directly affects me because I depend on him. Like I'm fucking disabled that's the thing and the more I'll stay the same if I'm not given the tools and help and etc I need.
#luly talks#takes a dramatically long drag from my cigar this relationship is driving me to madness this relationship is making me feel unlovable#because i need people i depend on people to exist but he treats me needing help as an annoyance it's very shitty!!!#and this is the main and only face to face relationship i have so OF COURSE it affects me OF COURSE it affects me to know i can rely on my#family for even the most important of things!!!#might have come to this realization thru conversation with a certain Blondie for the record very important stuff#on top of this tho like today i just ate an egg half an onion and like#a quarter of an eggplant. because he ate all the noodles and i am TOO FUCKING TIRED TO COOK#LIKE THAT'S THE THING THE MORE THE ISSUE GOES ON FOR THE WORST IT'LL GET#issue being: my back is in shambles#and like after i ate that bc he said last night there's 4 eggplants left for you tomorrow (!!!) i TOOK HIS WORD#BECAUSE HE SAID THAT#and at 1 pm he calls me because i didnt COOK FOR HIM#LIKE DO YOU UNDERSTAND MY FRUSTRATION?!#I'VE BEEN COOKING ALMOST EVERY DAY NOW AND its going from this fun creative endeavor to a task I'm not even thanked for!!#like im not talking cooking some noodles frying some milanesas I'm talking standing there UP TO A WHOLE HOUR COOKING#and i don't even have a matress i can sleep in that won't double my back pain!!!#I'm soooooo tired i feel sooooooo lonely
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