#I'm still struggling because there's smth about my reality that bothers me yet I'm too scared to even think of what it is??
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yk tfw u want to be like them and u also want someone like them
#nura rambles#yes I'm finally understanding my gender and how i want to express it and aaaaaa#i want to buy a few necklaces and some cropped kinda shirts for proportions and more nail polish#and I'm even at peace with my hair definitely being wavy not curly at all#and i want a binder😭😭😭😭😭#and i need to buy comfy and neutral underwear and come to peace with the past years#and tbh at this point idek if i do want anyone or I'm just too scared to admit that i just want to be that person idk it doesn't make sense#parasocial relationship is becoming too much for me and daydreaming ain't helping with that ngl and I'm daydreaming about being friends 😭😭#but i do have good friends irl!!#I'm still struggling because there's smth about my reality that bothers me yet I'm too scared to even think of what it is??#and cause of that life still doesn't feel real and idk how to call it cause it's not dissociation etc#maybe I'm just lonely#it's definitely sad affecting me
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