#I'm throwing hearts at Jen and Brad and Dave; I hope they get them

[im-no-jedi]

took a while to get out, but in a similar but opposite toned way to last week, here are my long, rambly, and barely coherent thoughts about episode 9 “The Crossing”

which are thankfully much more positive than last week 😋

where do I even begin y’all. the vibe of this episode really emphasized the end of episode 8 with its melancholy; we didn’t even get any dialogue for the first couple of minutes. all of them silently exiting the Marauder as just the four of them was painful to watch. and it didn’t take long to get into the sibling squabbles after that.

which, as I’ve mentioned before, was another great example of why I think this show does an excellent job selling TBB as siblings. the Clones in general have always been good sibling rep, but TBB does it the best imo. Wrecker and Tech’s bickering with Hunter and Omega pitifully trying to stop it was *chef’s kiss*. even Tech and Hunter hounding Omega about being careful with the ipsium was very “older sibling trying to be the parent”, especially with Omega’s mocking responses LOL. I mean, we even finally got a confirmation that they see each other as family! finally!! thank you Omega!! \o/

speaking of Omega! my girl has really learned how to express herself, as we saw with her rant in episode 8, and I’m glad she was letting her feelings out to the boys. yes, she was overly emotional, but it was understandable! she’s still a child, and it’s hard to process loss without getting emotional, trust me.

that being said, it’s still unfortunate that the boys aren’t the same way. Wrecker has been the only one who’s ever been comfortable showing his emotions and feelings, but even so, he clearly still struggles with it. I really hope we get to a point where the boys are able to open up more (although they admittingly have improved since the beginning thanks to Omega).

now for some specific moments I enjoyed or were just notable to me. 

firstly, Hunter’s spidey senses going off not once, not twice, but THREE times this episode. oh Lordy. if I didn’t know he had enhanced senses, I woulda thought he was freaking Force sensitive with how in tune he was with what was going on. him sensing that something had happened to Omega and Tech? hello?? is he really THAT sensitive, or was that his Dad™ senses going into overdrive LOL

next, I obviously have to talk about the Lion King stampede (thank you Kiners for the blatant spoilers ROFL). OMG I felt so bad for Wrecker, poor baby. him complaining about his back afterwards was a MOOD. and then the exchange with him and Tech, “why don’t YOU carry it?” “fine.” I laughed SO hard, peak sibling humor 😂👌🏻 Hunter holding onto the wire tho... Lord have mercy 🥵

and now circling back to Hunter again cause I’m not done talking about my man yet. can we just appreciate how well he was able to keep himself together in this episode with all the chaos? he could’ve easily joined in with the bickering or gotten frustrated, as we saw him do in “Entombed”. but no, he stayed calm the whole time, even when confronting Tech about his behavior. the only time he actually got frustrated was with Cid (rightfully so). I know that man is a boiling pot of emotions inside, but still he remains the calm and collected leader, keeping everyone on track and not escalating anything further. my man... I love him so much 😩💙

last specific thing I wanna mention cause OMG am I still mad about it. Cid. what. the. HECK. as someone who has loved this character since we first saw her, I’m with TBB (and the rest of the fandom!) on this one. she crossed a line. I gave her the benefit of the doubt with the riot racing, but this was TOO far. she’s gonna catch these hands fr 😤

ok! now I’ll talk about the more serious subjects again. I’ve got two things I wanna talk about because hoo boy, do they relate to me personally.

I wanna talk about the subject of loss and dealing with trauma. if you read my post from last week, you’ll know that I was absolutely devastated by the loss of Echo, regardless of it being temporary or not. it brought me down to one of the lowest points I’ve been at in YEARS. so yeah, having this episode showcase Omega (and the others) going through the exact same thing? yeah.

honestly? I needed that. I needed to have my own feelings validated as much as Omega did, and I got exactly that. Omega wasn’t just upset, she was angry and hurt and worried and didn’t know how to handle all of those emotions at once. it was way too real. that’s what trauma does to you; it gives you way too many emotions to process all at once, so it often comes out in unpleasant ways. I’ve learned to process my own feelings through years of therapy, but clearly it’s still something I struggle with. and I always will. that’s just how trauma works. and I think this subject was portrayed perfectly in this episode.

and now, the absolute cherry on top for this already perfect and beautiful episode... my boy Tech.

I’m not kidding when I say I’m getting emotional writing this cause umm... YEAH

so I’ve been labelling myself as neurodivergent for a few years now. I began to suspect I might have ADHD back in like, 2019 I think, and since then, I’ve also strongly suspected I might just be overall autistic. I haven’t gotten an official diagnosis yet but... I know I’m somewhere on the spectrum, I have to be. and this show has been one of the things that’s helped me realize that. I’ve been 100% behind the “Tech is autistic” train since the early days of the show. I also strongly believe the entire squad is neurodivergent in some way, even Echo and Omega. mostly because I can relate to them in many ways in terms of behavior. I’m not gonna get into a discussion about that here though, I’ll save it for another post✨

the bottom line though is that me being able to see myself in these characters has been one of the major reasons I love the show so much. so now having this canon confirmation about Tech has made me absolutely ecstatic.

after we were done with the episode, @jam-n-ham were talking (as we always do), and she had a hard time getting behind the idea of Tech basically being confirmed autistic. but as we talked about it, she realized that the whole issue between Omega and Tech mirrored a lot of issues she and I have had in the past. and the convo between the two of them by the water was extremely similar to convos she and I have had in the past. again, I myself am not officially diagnosed but... I’m just sayin’ 😬

so uhh, yeah. I’m obviously very happy about this, to the point where I can’t even be sad about them being currently stranded on that planet for who knows how long. the well-done portrayal of Omega’s grief coupled with canon neurodivergent Tech has uplifted me to the point where I literally can’t be sad anymore. this episode gave me hope, y’all. which is why I’m not worried about them. I know they’re all gonna be ok in the end. they have to be. they will be.

cause even when you’re grieving or dealing with mental illness... you still can have hope. it’s gonna be ok 💙💙💙

oh, and one more actual last final thing I wanna say. because of this episode, I’m no longer worried about getting an official diagnosis for my mental illness. in fact, I plan on talking to my therapist about it and seeing if I can schedule an appointment to get checked out. I’ve been debating about doing it for a couple years, and now I’ve finally got the courage to do it. so yeah. that’s a thing 😊