#I'm trying to take steps back and not put so much tume and effort into reaching out to people if they're not reciprocating but...
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If you're my friend... I think about you a lot.
#mine#most of the day I'm thinking about the people I care about#trying to cheer you up if something's gone wrong#oh you'd like this song I think. wish I could say this to you hope I remember after work. wonder what you're up to#feeling my feelings and thinking my thoughts and putting the words together to tell you about it because I want us both to get to share#and most of this is over text so like it's gonna be different and probablynmore detached for most people#and people are busy and I disappear when I'm busy or not up for talking but#I've been feeling like an afterthought a little#I'm trying to take steps back and not put so much tume and effort into reaching out to people if they're not reciprocating but...#it really doesn't feel good#you're on my mind and I want you around and I want to hear what's up and what you're thinking about and how you're doing#and I guess. i want to be on your mind too. i want to hear that I'm present in your life even when I'm not nect to you.#this is specifically about my closest friends and my partner I'm not asking acquaintances to tell me how much they think I'll like something#but like. hey? you tell me you love me. what does that mean for you?#not as a guilt trip but genuinely I am building my personal version of love and maybe I'm not seeing what you're doing. love languages etc#but I am feeling very alone. and not very loved#I'm not too sure what to do about this. I'll keep trying to talk about it#at some point I have to acknowledge when people aren't listening or can't do what I'm asking though
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