#It's been so long since I've actually focused on art dedicated for something and taking my time with it

[carrottyshark]

Happy Birthday Haruka!

I made a mini comic below too featuring my persona of the sort (SHAMELESS ADVERTISING) because it's my birthday 2 days after!

I don't know anything when it comes to speech bubbles and fonts

Actually, anything about doing comics in general

[ms-demeanor]

sorry if you've answered this before, and i hope you don't mind me asking, how do you know so much about computers and what seems to me like everything in the world? how did you become so knowledgeable? it's amazing

i just know a little about a lot of things and I probably have a fair number of things that I've dug into more than most people and less than people who actually focus on that stuff! It's kind of an illusion!

I do know a lot about computers and that's because I've worked at a computer company for 12 years and have been deep into a computery subculture for about 20 years - I do genuinely know a lot about consumer computers. That I'll own and that's experience.

I know a fair amount about literature because I've got a degree in it!

I know a fair amount about journalism because I've got most of a degree in it and I worked with journalists for a long time!

I know a fair amount about nutrition because I've got most of a degree in it and because I've been focused on reading a lot about nutrition for more than a decade because of my own food issues!

But mostly I'm just someone who falls down rabbitholes and has a decent ability to recall what I find when I run down them.

Also I get curious about things and will just go. Experience them.

Like at some point i came across a site for people who own and use RealDolls and I got interested in learning more. The site required an application because they didn't want people just trolling so I applied and I ended up reading through the whole site and reading the magazines they sent out for years after because it was just interesting. The way these guys bought clothes or compared repair techniques and cleaning techniques, the way they constructed identities for their dolls - it was all interesting! So now I know about the proper way to store a RealDoll and how their skeletons are put together and the best way to prevent rips or clean inserts.

Now imagine that with everything.

I got interested in quack medicine so I ended up reading the entire back catalogs of quackwatch and science-based medicine.

I got interested in the history of aspartame as a scare-word and I ended up reading a couple of books, SEVERAL entire blogs with decades-long runs, purchasing a military magazine from the 90s, and submitting a FOIA request.

But, like. I don't own a RealDoll or work in that industry. I am not a medical professional. I am not a chemist who works with aspartame. So I get these weird little collections of information where I know what *seems* like a lot to someone who hasn't looked into it but I know a lot less than someone who has taken the time to actually dedicate themselves to that topic.

And sometimes it's a years-long dive and sometimes it's a months-long dive and sometimes it's a few hours of me digging online until I feel satisfied with what I've learned and I never come back to it, but I've got three more talking points than your average joe at a party would.

(Also though I've attended various colleges at various levels for ten-ish years now and I've taken probably more college-level classes on a lot of subjects than most people have because I've now spent several years just kind of kicking around at community colleges and deciding that a cartooning class sounds fun or that a mesoamerican art class fills certain transfer requirements or that I might as well brush up on spanish, french, and german. Access to low-cost college classes in california is a big part of this, and having the time and money to take classes while i'm working is something that I've been very lucky with)

I've also worked pretty much continuously since I was 18, sometimes holding multiple jobs at once, and I know a lot of interesting people who do a lot of interesting things and I ask them about their interesting experiences and if they offer me a chance to go do cool shit with them, like launch a high altitude balloon or blow up some dynamite that's about to expire or join a band, I do it!

I was also one of those kids who had no friends and spent too much time at the library so I'd do things like read through medical textbooks or pull a book of home chemical formulas out of the trash and read it or take it into my head that I was going to read all of Shakespeare before I got to high school so I was a really annoying twelve-year-old and that kind of thing never really let up.

I don't know! I don't think it's that unusual and I think most people do this kind of thing I just happen to have less focus than a lot of people and talk a lot more.

[druidofthealders]

Brigid of the Alders

So I guess it's important to foster pagan community to, like, actually talk about the kinds of things you do, your UPGs, your deities, etc. So I figured I'd talk about my stuff.

I've been a pagan since I was a lil kid, and I'm in my 30's now. It's been a long and winding road, through a lot of wild experiences and youthful appropriative practices (shout out to my teens "shamanism" phase lol). I mention this because by the time I hit my mid-twenties or so and I backed away from closed/appropriative shit, I felt unmoored in my spirituality. A lot of the practices I'd run into -- and pantheons and their accompanying worship -- were born of cultural experiences that I, as a white middle-class American girl, did not have.

So, I thought, how about I look into some of the pantheons of my ancestors, in Ireland and Scotland and Russia? But turns out "blood" doesn't turn into cultural experiences :P GO FIGURE. I am no more "Irish" than any other born-and-bred American. I looked into various flavors of GaelPol and Celtic Reconstructionism, but I guess it turns out it's important to me to come at it from my own cultural context. I had a really really hard time connecting. (And do note, this is for my personal comfort and experience; what works for y'all is what works for y'all!)

I eventually considered, like, okay, then fine, what kind of gods would a white middle-class American girl with ancestry in a variety of places worship? Who's out there who can work with me? The answer was a couple of things:

Local land spirits (I try to look into local indigenous practices, not to "become" anything but to treat the land in the way they think is best)

House spirits

"Shards" of Gods

What the heck are "Shards" of Gods?

Well, here's my personal take, on something that really works for me and jives with me. Just as there are original gods of the homeland, I think that immigrants definitely take their gods with them. And gods are born of humans, just as humans are born of gods, and so as the immigrant culture changes and evolves, so does the god, so that there's a splinter shard of that god that serves a people.

It's a kind of mix between the legacy of those that have gone before me, and making my own pantheon. Shards are gods in their own right, cut from existing cloth but grown into a new shape, a new existence.

I've circled Brigid for ages but never quite was able to match with her until I came down to this paradigm -- and then got hit with the clearest, most "HI THERE" I've ever felt. So -- I present my splinter of Brigid, Brigid of the Alders.

Brigid of the Alders

Like the Brigid of Ireland, Brigid of the Alders is a goddess who focuses on smithing, healing, and poetry. However, she's a PacNW splinter for the modern day. Smithing, for her, seems to be Creation -- but specifically Creation that is of your hands, with raw material. I've tried dedicating my day-to-day work to her -- digital art -- but that doesn't seem to stick. When I did some sculpting, however, that rang very nicely for her.

Healing remains the same, as does Poetry. My Brigid requires a poem every time I work with her. It doesn't matter how good it is, it can just be dashed out in my head. But it is required before she'll answer my call.

I love Brigid of the Alders deeply. She is so important to me, and I genuinely feel like she cares about me too. She's guided me through a lot of my healing I've had to do recently. She's helped me reconnect to my crafts.

Other Shards

I haven't really come into any yet, but I've been getting drawn more and more to the Hellenic pantheon. It's possible I'll find a new Shard relationship there, perhaps not. But I'll try to document here as I keep it up.

I'm also absolutely going to look into homebrewing my own deities as well. I'm very familiar with thoughtforms and I know when I was a youngun I practically had my own pantheon I'd made. Some of them I might bring back. Who knows?

Anyways! This is my experience. Hope it helps or at least entertains, haha