#It's funny because I'd normally haha how the mighty have fallen but I'm just glad it happened | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

disneydreamlights · 3 years

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I’ve been thinking back throughout January 2021 and it’s lowkey absurd just how much of a comfort media SW has become for me.

Not because it is because in hindsight it’s stupidly obvious. We have one of the only fully fleshed out corruption arcs, the ultimate Heather(tm) type of character at least twice over to the point that the idea of one of them not resonating with me would’ve been a joke, a romance that embodies too many of my tropes, and a storyline that feels so in line with the messages that brought me into KH in the first place it was really only inevitable I’d be at least invested in this series.

But sometimes I really think about how much I went off about hating Star Wars since 2010 all over my different internet profiles and its just wild how I could go from hating SW on principle to being like “Hey um actually this wasn’t half bad like it’s not my favorite thing ever but I am getting some enjoyment” to “Well I guess this is where my brain latched onto we’re going to be in this for a month” to “ANAKIN” over the course of probably six or so months is so funny to me since I think I knew right from the start I actually liked this series (even the bad ones, for the most part) I just absolutely refused to admit it. Like is anything here high quality for modern standards? No probably not but I like them and that’s what matters.

#personal stuff #This feels very random but I've been thinking about the three panic attacks I've had in the last month #And how all three times after the initial attack subsided and I could think again it's been writing Anakin that's grounded me and brought me #back to the point where I didn't feel like I was going to spiral again into another one #It's funny because I'd normally haha how the mighty have fallen but I'm just glad it happened #Also while I'm in the tags I sometimes think about how I'd almost watched SW in high school #It was probably a little after the first thing that actually made me think about SW as something that could be interesting #(Some post a mututal reblogged back in like 2012 I don't remember it now)#And my dad and I were spending the afternoon at home while my sister and mom were doing something they needed to do #And my dad was going through Netflix to try to find something for us to watch since that was the point TV and modern pop culture started to #lose their appeal to me completely because I was getting more gratification from fanfiction and/or writing so my dad trying to find #something that I wanted to watch was just immensely difficult (as hard as it is now honestly but we spend less time alone at home now)#And he asked me if I was interested in Star Wars and despite having had my curiosity in the series briefly piqued because of that post I #said no I wasn't because he doesn't like SW at all and I didn't want to like the series because my family didn't and we moved on and put on #something else or we played Halo or something that I don't really remember now #And I just think about that interaction sometimes like...what would have happened differently had I gotten into the series then #Had I said ''Okay let's watch the first Star Wars it might be fun''#Would I have celebrated Galaxy's Edge or would the parks fan in me still been pissed at its existence in Disneyland proper #Perhaps I'd be a lot more open with my family of what I like in SW and less conscious of my interest in the prequel era #Would I even be a prequel stan? Or would I be one of those ''OT only'' people with no regard for Padme or Anakin #Like maybe I would've just watched the movies and called it a night #It's like when I think about how I could've gotten into KH at age eight with CoM I don't regret the timing of when I got into it #But a part of me can't help but wonder ''What if?''#Sometimes I go off in the tags as much as I go off in the main post and you know what? It's fine

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