#Maybe one day we'll attempt a campaign on expert REALISM

[sheepkebby]

Completing The Parish on expert difficulty

:)

Today, to celebrate Tabitha and I getting so close to the end of this challenge, I've dressed Ellis in his fanciest suit. He looks even better than Nick in my opinion.

The first map was pretty easy. We only died like once because I couldn't resist touching the jukebox and playing some funky tunes. Turns out a hoard of zombies hated my music taste. Oops.

After that blunder, Tabitha and I made it to the saferoom just fine. The bots weren't as lucky. They're just not experts like we are.

The second map, the one with the park and the alarm panic event, was definitely the hardest part of this campaign. We died maybe 6 times. At some point I had aaaalmost made it, everyone else was dead, but a Jockey got me just as I was a few yards from the saferoom. A damn shame.

On another attempt, we spotted a witch right outside that little van you hide in before the panic event. Turns out, those van doors are TOUGH. Tabitha startled the witch and she couldn't reach us, so we just shot her through the window. Get door'd idiot.

On another attempt, Tabitha and I were preparing in the van when suddenly the alarm started blaring. We turned around to see the door was wide open... But neither of us opened it?? Safe to say we didn't survive that attempt since the panic event started before we were ready. We have no idea why the door opened by itself. The only explanation was the bots did it for some reason, cus what else could it have been?

We executed them as punishment.

Anyways, here's me and Tabitha doing a little dancey dance together. Downloading the dancing healing animation mod was the best decision I've ever made.

Also at some point I noticed that in this saferoom there's a box of cereal WITH TF2 ON IT ❗❗❗ FUCK YEA I WANT A TF2 ACTION FIGURE

(Not entirely surprised this is here, since they're both Valve games. It's a really nice easter egg though. Made me happy).

Eventually, with a well timed bile bomb and some good luck, we actually made it to the saferoom with everyone alive! 6 deaths was a lot less than I thought we'd get, so either this map is easier than expected or we just got very lucky.

Next up was the car impound lot and the graveyard, which I think was the most terrifying map of this entire challenge. Before this, I didn't even have the achievement for not triggering any car alarms. I'm too much of a clumsy fool and always end up triggering at least one.

Tabitha gave me some advice though; stick to a melee weapon, don't shove any blinking cars, and don't jump on any blinking cars.

Our first attempt failed because a tank got in our way. Our second attempt failed, as I had accidentally shoved a car while trying to save Coach from a smoker.

I did notice, though, that this poster here has the same design on Ellis' hat! Maybe it's the same auto shop company that he works for?

On our third attempt, we managed to not trigger any car alarms! We made our way through the graveyard with extreme caution, throwing a pipe bomb or two that we found. I've ever been more terrified in my life. I don't think I blinked the entire time.

Despite my rising anxiety, we managed to make it to the saferoom just fine, and I got a new achievement!

Next up was the map with the parade float, and we actually made this on our first attempt!

The parade float was a little spooky, as the bots got downed on the ground floor cus they're idiots. Lucky for us though, that gave me and Tabitha some measure of safety, since the zombies were all attacking the downed bots rather than us. We killed all the zombies, but we were too late to save the bots. RIP.

It's alright, there were a few respawn closets up ahead anyway.

We got the bots back, and we made our way through town. At some point, I heard a small hoard of zombies come up behind us, so I threw my Molotov over my shoulder. Uh. Turns out there was a smoker behind us too, and it dragged one of the bots directly into the fire. The second bot decided to kill itself by also running directly into the fire in an attempt to save them. Woops!

Tabitha and I decided to book it at that point, since the saferoom was close by and there's gonna be like 8 medkits in there anyways. Tabitha got swarmed by the hoard, and I just barely managed to evade a witch and make it to the saferoom by myself.

I can't help but feel... Like maybe... This is my fault somehow... 🤔 No, not possible. I'm an expert gamer.

Now it was time for the bridge. The achievement was at our fingertips. We had plenty of medkits to spare since the game is very VERY generous in this saferoom. Tabitha and I took pipe bombs, and I took an adrenaline.

We died only twice.

On our third attempt, we had managed to successfully make our way to the middle of the bridge where the tank was. Here's an expert tip: Don't fight the fucking tank. It's a thousand times safer to just outrun it and let it kill the bots as a distraction, and we did just that.

We ran past the tank, ignoring the sounds of Coach and Nick dying behind us. I threw my pipe bomb just as the zombies started closing in on us. I was on red health, so I took my adrenaline to go a little bit faster. Tabitha and I booked it to the helicopter, and it was a clear, painless final sprint.

And finally, after everything we've been through, after all that pain, all the tears, the laughter, the friendly fire, the bot abuse, everything, ladies and gentlemen, we finally made it.

We finally completed every main L4D2 campaign on expert difficulty.

It was rough, but it was also the most fun I've ever had playing L4D2. If you have at least one friend to play with, I highly recommend trying to get this achievement yourself. Maybe you can use some of my posts for future reference to help you through some tough areas. I fully plan on making a lengthy google doc guide of everything I learned, and I'll post it within a few days. That way you guys can have a long list of strategies and expert tips if you're interested.

To everyone who cheered us on, gave us any tips, and laughed at our failed attempts, thank you so much. It's been a lot of fun posting my experience.

And thank you @thedarkfreack for sticking with me 'til the end and being the best partner ever. <3

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