#NJ Family Beach Session

[nynjexpress]

The Best Places to Eat, Drink and Hang Out in Red Bank, NJ

The New Jersey town of Red Bank is a great place to spend a day. It is located right by the Navesink River and just a few miles from the beach, so it's close to nature and full of shopping, dining and arts and culture events. Here is how to spend a day in Red Bank.

Stop by Toast City Diner for breakfast:

Toast City Diner mixes up a wide variety of breakfast dishes, including red velvet pancakes, carrot cake pancakes, Nutella french toast and pork roll sandwiches. Savory brunch lovers can also get crab hash, Irish eggs benedict, turmeric lattes and green tea lattes.

Head to Downtown Red Bank for the ultimate shopping adventure:

On your trip to Red Bank, there are several small businesses that are worth visiting. Jack’s Record Shoppe offers a wide selection of vintage records and CDs for the music lover. For the eco-conscious traveler, Greene Street is a store not to be missed. It started off as a small family business and has expanded throughout New Jersey and Philadelphia. They offer an alternative shopping experience by selling higher-end brands at discounted prices.

If you're looking for a sweet treat, Antoinette Boulangerie is the place to go. This French bakery located in downtown Red Bank offers over 50 Parisian-style desserts, including almond tarts, almond croissants, baguettes, coconut macaroons and crème brûlée cups.

Get Crafty at The Local Line:

The Local Line is a great place to work on DIY projects. They offer candle-making, glass etching and sea glass art classes, as well as workshops. Private sessions require a minimum of five participants, and the Local Line also sells a number of goods made by local artisans—such as home decor, candles and beauty supplies.

Visit a local brewery for a nightcap:

It's a great way to end your day in Red Bank by visiting local breweries like Triumph Brewing Company and Red Tank Brewing Company. You can listen to live music at Triumph on Thursdays through Saturdays and at Red Tank on Thursdays, Fridays, and Sundays. Both breweries are family-owned establishments that use fresh ingredients and have beer gardens where you can enjoy your own food.

If you are looking for a comfortable mode of transportation to get around in this town, feel free to book our Limo Service in Red Bank, NJ. Here at NY NJ Express, we are known for our quick and economical means of ground transportation. Conact us at (732) 742—5072!

[ofhouseadama]

Ed gets drafted into the Navy right after high school, and in between finishing basic and getting shipped out to the Pacific, he promises Lorraine that the next time he sees her, he's going to propose.

after high school, Lorraine needs something to do so she gets a part time job as a secretary at the Diocese of Bridgeport helping wrangle parish finances and correspondence and other clerical and administrative work.

(this is where Lorraine first meets a young Father Gordon, who occasionally borrows her because she knows her way around a files room and takes excellent notes; he hears a lot about her boyfriend who's away on a ship in the Sea of Japan)

Ed and Lorraine write... a lot of letters during this time, which range from very chaste and heartfelt to NC-17 horny teenage screeds referring to their 3-day sojourn when they were seniors in high school, their many misdeeds in the back of Ed's car, and the time he snuck her into the Alamo Theatre after it closed so that they could have a "private showing" of a movie they remember very little of

when Lorraine is too anxious to sleep, she sews her wedding dress. she saw the pattern a few weeks after Ed left, and liked it, and bought it. she's been slowly buying yards and yards of satin and lace and tulle.

Ed squirrels away all the money that he can towards buying a wedding ring set for Lorraine. after he buys them while on shore leave in Tokyo, he keeps the rings in the breast pocket of his uniform shirt, next to his heart, to feel close to her.

his ship strikes a mine and goes down in the small hours of the night in June of '53; the rings are in his shirt pocket, and Lorraine feels it immediately. Father Gordon has to drive her home from work, and believes her immediately when she says she knows something bad happened to her boyfriend.

Ed makes it home to Bridgeport ten days later; he gets in a taxi at the Navy yard and immediately goes to Lorraine's house. she meets him at the front door before he can even knock and tackles him on the front lawn.

he proposes to her while very exhausted and not exactly coherent.

technically, she proposes to him because she tells him they're getting married and she's not waiting any longer.

these are two hotly contested facts for years to come.

they get one very hasty pre-cana session in as the Moran family (+ Father Gordon a little bit) cash in all their political capital with the church to expedite a wedding as soon as humanly possible.

Georgiana and her friends plan the wedding, everyone is very concerned about Lorraine's dress. Georgiana tells them they should be more concerned about Ed's dress uniform, currently at the bottom of the ocean.

(He wears a suit from Sears. It's fine.)

the story of Ed Warren, hometown boy, as the sole survivor of the sinking of the USS Saint Paul makes the local papers and absolutely no one remembers to tell his father that he made it home until a full 24 hours later.

Ed and Lorraine get married exactly two hours after the end of the legally-required 72 hour Connecticut waiting period elapses. it's a Friday afternoon.

when he sees her in his dress, Ed absolutely cries.

their wedding readings are Romans 12:1-2, 9-18 and Sirach 26: 1-4. it's not a full wedding mass, due to time restraints. it's actually nothing like Lorraine thought her wedding would be like, but she's so relieved Ed is alive, and he's not allowed to go back to the war without being her husband.

their reception is some cake and champagne in the parish hall, Ed's hands have been shaking so badly all day that he can't manage to get cake in her mouth off a fork so Lorraine grabs his hand and sucks it off his finger.

by this point she's had three glasses of champagne on an empty stomach.

it's over by the middle of the afternoon, and they're speeding off to the same aunt's beach house that they ran off to when they were seventeen, this time with permission and this time knowing the whole drive down that they're finally going to have sex.

Ed spends much of the four-hour drive from Bridgeport, CT to Cape May, NJ rucking the many layers of the skirt on Lorraine's dress up her legs, running the hand not on the steering wheel of the car up and down the inside of her thigh, keying her up.

they arrive shortly after dinner, having eaten cheeseburger and fries in the car in their wedding clothes, and are suddenly very very nervous.

even though they've done everything except the technical deed itself.

as Ed peels himself out of his suit and tries to not psyche himself out, Lorraine goes into the bathroom and changes into the peignoir and robe she made for her trousseau. she comes out of the bathroom to grab her brush to take her hair down, but Ed asks her to sit on the bed and pulls all the pins and flowers out himself, gently brushing her curls.

when he's done, he moves onto gently touching her. the last time he saw her naked was also in this bedroom, as they shook with restraint. now they're shaking for other reasons, hands rediscovering each other's bodies and warming themselves on each other's skin.

kissing her neck, he reaches one hand in-between the halves of her robe as the other moves her hair off her shoulder, exposing more skin.

he rucks the hem of the sheer white peignoir up to her knees, then her thighs, then her hips. Ed decides that he needs to make her orgasm before they have sex, because if he doesn't last long, then at least she'll be satisfied.

he eats her out like a man with a point to prove, because he's nineteen and very much is one in this moment.

it's been almost eighteen months since they've been physically present together, and they didn't have much alone time together before their wedding, and Lorraine feels like her body is on fire. it's been so long, and she feels like a bullet leaving a gun. it doesn't take much to make her cum, and Ed manages to do it several times before she's hauling him up her body.

he's still not done getting her ready, unable to not think about every horror story he's heard about bleeding and pain and discomfort and the terrible jokes from his bunkmates.

(they're all dead now. he tries to not think about that, why he lived and they all died. why did he survive, if not to make Lorraine feel good? if not to make them both feel alive? he needs to feel alive, and when he drinks her with his mouth and feels her clench around his fingers, he finally does.)

he sucks hickeys into Lorraine's neck and chest and breasts, keeping her high as he circles her clit with the fingers on one hand as he plays with her nipples with the other.

he is harder than he's ever been in his life, he thinks, pumping two and then three fingers into her. she's wet and all over his hand, dripping down onto his wrist. he wants to eat her out again, taste her again. his mind is a feedback loop of her pleasure.

Lorraine is trying to touch him, but her hands don't feel entirely attached to her body. she ends up curling her fingers into his hair and pulling. the sharp pain is delicious, and he moans while lapping at her nipple and thinks he might see God.

eventually he realizes that she's begging, chanting "now, now, please now, Ed, please--"

they both feel lust drunk and clumsy, all limbs as they take their clothes off, as Ed slots himself between her thighs.

she hasn't touched him at all, and he thinks if she does he'll cum immediately.

he pushes into her slowly, incrementally, watching her face the whole time.

she gasps, bites her lip, scrunches her face up. then, it starts to feel good, and her eyes flutter closed, and she moans.

he doesn't want to move. he wants to move more than he's wanted anything in his whole life. dropping down on his elbows and forearms, he shakes while hovering above her.

Lorraine's mouth is a perfect "o," and slowly she tests out how she wants her legs, first pressing her heels into his calves, then his hamstrings, before pressing her knees in at the sides of his hips. it feels incredibly intense, and she's not quite sure what to do with herself. she no longer feels in control of her body. all of her gifts of perception narrow down to hyper-perceiving Ed, the red sheen to his face, the flop of dark hair over his forehead, the sweat dotting his brow, his heart in his chest. his racing thoughts, his love for her. she feels him inside her body and inside her head. she shivers.

she squirms, trying to get him to move.

he does not, burying his face in her neck.

eventually he realizes that, as she traces her hands up and down the side of his spine, she's whispering, "move, honey, you gotta move, oh God please move, Ed honey please--"

something in his head breaks loose a little bit, and he snaps his hips into hers. when she moves with him, it breaks loose entirely.

it's entirely unskillful and uncoordinated, but Lorraine is already so close to orgasming again that it doesn't matter. when she cums again, Ed's entire brain malfunctions and he stops, watching her, feeling it and feeling her. she reaches down and straight up spanks him, telling him to keep moving.

doubling down, he sucks on the tendon where her neck meets her shoulder, and doesn't last much longer than her.

he thinks his vision almost whites out, gripping her hips tightly as he cums inside of her before pulling out of her and collapsing, happily burrowing his face into her breasts.

Lorraine laughs, wrapping her arms and legs around him, holding him to her tightly.

the insides of her thighs chafe a little, and she feels a bit raw, but she likes it.

they almost fall asleep that way, but Lorraine knows that's probably not a good idea. her mother knew enough about their relationship to know that Lorraine needed a little bit of motherly advice before her wedding night, but not that much. after rolling him off her, Ed promptly falls asleep on his side of the bed.

he didn't sleep the night before.

Lorraine takes a quick shower, washing the shellac out of her hair and scrubbing the make up off her face. she doesn't bother to redress, just gets into bed with him. he feels her weight on the mattress and rolls over, blearily reaching for her to pull her against him. he's half in between dreaming and wakefulness, and slides his hand up to cup her breast in his hand.

"can we do it again?"

[preathtimeline]

Mobile Preath Timeline

It’s here, and it’s a lot.

The following is originally from skatertobin's blog:

Ok so here’s what we think went down:

2015

August to I wanna say November? They get close during the victory tour, Chris being the only other person aside from Alex to be invited to Tobin’s 100th cap dinner and all and them sharing a seat at the White House. Basic stuff.

December Christen tags along with Tobin on her Hawaii strolls (especially since both Cheney and ARod aren’t around for the Hawaii game). Wander around Waikiki Beach and hang out with Friends with Flowers in their hair and other fun things like that. Maybe Christen watches Tobin surf at some point and maybe Tobin teaches her how as well. 👀 Idk. But I’m positive swimming happens in cute bikinis because I mean.... it’s Hawaii!! 🙄 They they fly to NOLA for the last VT game. And Press is probs like “hey so where ya staying at after this (the China game)?” like while they’re walking along Bourbon Street where the Leather Jacket™ makes its first appearance. Then tobs is probs like “maybe Portland?” Then Chris is all “well that’s just a state away from where I’m headed wanna crash for a bit?” Then tobs, being the homeless little shit that she is, is maybe like “sweet can we go to the beach” then Christen is all “literally everyday” and then done deal. That’s that. So from there they take the same flight to LA from the NOLA airport. Why? Who knows but tbh Tobs maybe (definitely) stays in PV with Pressy and maybe (definitely) is the reason why Christen’s late to that boat parade at Newport with ARod and Whit cos you know... busy being a good host and such. But then it’s the holidays so we know Tobs would go home to her fam in the east coast for Christmas like the good daughter she’s supposed to be so she does, but she goes right back to LA to maaaaaybe celebrate Chris’ birthday. Boop. And you know since she’s already there they’re probably like, “why not spend New Year’s Eve together and train together at the TOCA center while we’re at it???” Like it’s the most obvious thing because I mean maybe they realize they’d be playing more together with Christen nally being close to a starting spot. Hawink!!!! Work on their chemistry as the kids call it because ya know... First Touch Is Everything™.

2016

January So maybe Tobs flies back to spend New Years with fam again because Chris can’t have her forever. But also maybe not because that would have been very convinient since they get called in to camp in Cali shortly after. But I mean you know, who knows. But wtvr. So there they spend a lot of time together like going to the beach together and getting coffee together and entering and exiting the locker rooms and US soccer vans together. You know. Fun stuff. Then the SD game happens and then they all fly to their respective homes but Tobin doesn’t have a home remember so she invites Press to go to Portland with her and they hold hands at the airport while Press is wearing the Purple Hat™ and maybe they go to the Nike HQ together and go furniture shopping and then they have dinner at a fancy restaurant and Tobs shows Chris around her soon to be new home like a local. Then they fly back to LA because beastmode soccer is a thing and they wanna train and be beasts. And then in between they share sunsets together and play with Morena and Khaleesi and Tobin is snookums.

February It’s Olympic Qualifiers in Texas and well what do you know??? The little shits score a goal together, and then steal the van keys so they can go out on Valentine’s Day. There’s a monkey stuffed toy involved and I hate my life basically because @ god, why. 🔥 They go back to LA together after celebrating their Olympic qualifying win to watch the Arsenal vs Barça game in Santa Monica and have sushi together and also crash the u16 camp. Then they go back to PV and Fly Away™ because All We Need Is Love™. Also because christen has a fUCKING BODY ISSUE PHOTOSHOOT that they’re tOTALLY NOT SUBTLE ABOUT. Ok maybe they’re totally subtle. Kind of.

March They go into the SheBelieves Cup in Florida and go Raw Juicin’ and jewelry shopping because that’s what gal pals do obviously. Chris probs tags along when Tobin hangs out with her French friends and they fly back together to NJ to meet Christen’s fam (who would have thought?!) and to NYC to Find Neverland. And then I mean imagine the goodbye for when they go their separate ways for the NWSL preseason and if you’re wondering how they’d cope, the answer is: Not well.

April They meet again for the Orlando camp and they all gotta be lowkey and concentrate on the training but then the OCSC vs PTFC game happens and they’re not so slick and get accidentally recorded and Tobin’s like 🙅🙅🙅... So they train in Orlando and Colorado and win in Connecticut and Philly vs Colombia and then they play chess in between and have coffee. Turns out they’re new bus buddies too now Allie’s in camp. And maybe (definitely), Jill Ellis is a fangirl and ships the little shits together because suddenly Press is a right middy and Tobs is a right back. If not for the sole purpose of Foudy saying on live television that Tobin would be watching Christen’s ass the entire game, basically. Anyway. CAPTAIN Tobs gets some winking action caught on camera and we’re all just gone. Adios. Goodbye.

May NWSL starts back up and we’re all excited but also sad because preath but they’re fine and we’re being dramatic but not as dramatic as them because apparently they desperately miss one another??????.... So like, when Chicago plays in Seattle the same weekend Portland plays at home, what else would Tobs do right? Would she drive four hours to watch the game? The answer is yes. But why right???? WHYYYYY???? Because obviously, Press in the west coast means some much needed quality time in Portland i.e. a double date at a fancy vineyard with a view and some tacos.

June The games vs. Japan happen in Denver and happen in Cleveland and that’s apparently not enough for them because Tobin tags along with Press and the Chicago girls to watch the MehNT and the Jumbotron loves them just as much as they do each other. The two part series of a battle of the baes in the CHIvsPOR NWSL games starts in Chicago and ends in Portland so naturally (duh) Press stays in Portland so the little shits could have private training sessions together before flying to Chicago again. Fuckers. (Honestly it’s not practical but thEY INSIST)

July The game vs South Africa happens after which they conveniently skedaddle ahead of everyone else in a separate car because of dinner reservations at yet another fancy restaurant. They both make it to the Olympic 18 and they “celebrate” it by going on a not-so romantic getaway to the ESPYS in LA and then they have dinner with Alex and Allie because like, Press probably (I’m sensing a theme, are you?) gotta have an initiation of sorts because things bout to get serious. 💁 But well Tobin gets an initiation of her own too so they’re even. 😅 But well, Tobin gets They head into camp in KC then win their Olympic send off game against CRC 👀 and fly again to camp in DC with the NJ crew and chill before flying aGAIN for the Olympic Games !!!

August They get to Brazil and have a killer Olympics .............Can you believe the Olympics got cancelled this year?????? Amazing. Anyway. That’s irrelevant. What’s not irrelevant though!!!!!! is them coming back to the states!!!! But instead of going straight home, the little shits get a connecting flight from Chicago (to probably get stuff??) to Portland together to get away from it all. Some good music, good coffee, a little kite flying and some R & R with good company and suddenly all is right in the world again. 👍 NWSL regular season to look forward to.

September So like, the NWSL starts up again right and they go their separate ways and you’d think they’d calm down a bit but BITCH YOU THOUGHT because they secretly meet up again because Press is Tobin’s plus one at her sister’s wedding in Rhode Island and she’s even invited to the rehearsal dinner which is “for immediate family and the bridal party only”. Cyb Press is considered immediate family?????? I can’t TBH. Anyway. That’s only for the weekend though because they gotta get back to their teams to play and try and get berths to the playoffs.... which they boTH DO!! Nice. NT training camp follows and it’s in Columbus so oBVIOUSLY Ms. Portland’s gotta fly in a day early to the east coast to meet up with Captain Chicago & Co. and we find out that Tobin’s tired af and that JJ is a shipper. 😌 Then Columbus happens where we finally get the goal celebration we truly deserve and where the whole stadium empathizes with two college dudes who are like “damn bro, number 12 ain’t straight”. And we can’t forget the regular coffee date . I swear to god it’s an addiction at this point. The game in Georgia isn’t as eventful as the last time we played the Netherlands but I guess it isn’t short of hearteyes. 😍

October So anyway. Can you believe the NWSL gets canceled after the Thorns win the shield???????? This “playoff match” doesn’t actually happen. It’s true. Press just visits Portland to go mermaiding with Tobin. (Euphemism? We may never know) So after then they fly to LA for a Sia concert because they can. But anyway, remember when we thought we got the goal celebration we deserved during that Thailand game? WRONG. Apparently the Swiss have other ideas because we’re all blessed and I’ve never felt more alive than I’ve ever felt in my life in this moment. And we almost get a repeat performance but I mean I guess it’s true lighting doesn’t strike the same place twice. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ̄ or something like that. La Blanquita goes Batista a few days later and Tobin has been established as a pretty useless maid of honor but I mean, she looks cute and her outfit repeater of a plus one (who is yet again invited to the rehearsal dinner!!!!!) looks cute too.

November At this rate is it even still surprising they’re practically living together? Portland Preath gets a part /something/ (because honestly who the fuck is still keeping track? Hint: not me) So Press Painting rainbows in an oversized, expensive ass Pride shirt in Tobin’s Portland kitchen is a thing thanks to Tobin’s (not Kling’s. Gotta make that clear.) very distinguishable floorboards and countertops. And apparently Press is practically a Thorn at this point, too, what with all that ball-kicking and strength training in Providence Park? Yeah. Ikr. Gross. They come to NorCal (to have coffee with a baby for practice) for the first Romania game and CYB they have chemistry on the field????? Like who woulda thunk?!?!?!?!? Also Press gets a hatty because she’s???? good???? at????? soccer????? (Also Christen brings herself sandwiches during games. Tobin doesn’t but CP ain’t selfish. If yanamsayin. Also, they’re literally married. Just thought you’d like to know.) K so anyway, boop boop, ROU part 2 aka the SoCal game becomes the perfect finish to the USWNT calendar year eSPECIALLY for the little shits because not only do we all get Blessed™ with another Preath goal, but basically Preath saves 2016 via great passes, bedroom eyes and hand holding. (PRESS SCORING AND ASSISTING IN EVERY GAME SINCE SWITZERLAND BTW????? Like, thank you, Tobin.) So no more games for the rest of the year, but that will not stop them from doing couple things because!!! They!!!! Are!!!!! Little!!!! Shits!!!!! The zenpups think so too. But anyway! It’s the return of Sunsets and Snookums in LA can you believe!!!!! There’s a romantic museum trip somewhere in the mix and some soccer on the beach too! Chris realizes then that her true passion is to be part of the circus and it’s all because of Circuit Bouldering in Portland (read: their home). Or I guess a second home because looks like Chris finally gets settled into her new house by the beach for a hot minute to enjoy rainbows before jetting off again. ✈

December Right so Grassroot Soccer holds a gala and Christen is the guest of honor also it’s Tobin’s turn to be a plus one (and to a red carpet event at that!) in frEAKING LONDON and they’re both beautiful and I’m dead. I’m also thinking Chris is the one that scored them tickets to the Arsenal game the night before the gala because she is whipped and In LoveTM. Gross. They don’t stop there though because they think they’re sneaky Pete about watching El Clasico with the fam (aka Allie & Bati) BUT NO!!!! You caught muthafuckas! There’s dancing in alleyways and reconnecting with old Spanish friends, too. Gross x 2 Euro trip continues in Sweden and Tobin and Christen literally sit on a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G and it’s all so scenic and romantic. Gross x 3 Well, I didn’t think they’d ever come back from their European bae-cation, but they do and it’s straight to Portland for some Christmas decorating and Tobin wins POTY to make up for this shitty year so they celebrate by getting some coffee and tacos and training - their faves. Duh. It’s kind of a quiet Christmas, celebrating with their own friends and family but I mean, it’s Pressy’s birthday. So they reunite and go hiking in LA and Christen gets a new name. Hi Kristen! 🖐

2017

January After ringing in the New Year with skiing and kisses (probably), Chris spends time in Portland, having shakes and breakfast with the bae. They go back to LA coming out of their own little bubble because it’s January training camp season and I’m having major flashbacks with them riding together to training and being locker room buddies! Their off day is as glorious as we’d expect, with some beach time and fun. (Thanks to JJ for being a shipper.) And we’re also blessed with Allie Long and a Harry Video. After camp, they’ve got a ton of down time so it’s the perfect opportunity to go chilling by their beach house. I say “their” because there’s a stray surfboard lying around and I’m sure as hell it ain’t Christen’s. 💁

February The next camp for SheBelieves isn’t til later on in the month so they fly back to home number 2 aka Portland to chill and be low key, watching Tove Lo on their date night. Tobin has a little photoshoot where she's in all her sweaty glory and itty bitty shorts and Christen flies off on her own for a bit for an appearance then it’s back to Portland for a low key vday. And then camp starts up and it feels like a drought but really, we’ll take what we can get. And what we get are matching backpacks and Harry.

March The SheBelieves Cup starts really well with an Allie IG takeover (which is always gold js) and we’re blessed with cameos of the lovers slash bus buddies!! And we see that age old Preath Connection that we know and love. We even get a possible date night in between!!!! The second game is a doozy but the most important takeaway is that they’re literally married. From the bus to the locker rooms, from the bench all the way to the sidelines. Married. Wives. For life. Fact. Even the Press Pack is supportive. Last game of the tourney and it was a loss. Lol. Anyway. They were trying to be sneaky and we learn that the fams are at the games together to support them. That’s it. Next. There’s a lot of debate about whether or not Tobin calls Christen “babe” because we’re all thirsty but there’s also the thing about helping Chris move to her new Chicago apartment so insert Oprah what’s the truth gif here. And then before the month ends, there’s a perfectly planned preseason tournament in Portland. Right before which Press kidnaps Tobin and escapes to LA for some hula dancing and pineapples, and then brings her back because plus ones at weddings are overrated (not). But the tourney goes on and Tobin’s not playing but she’s enjoying her box in the stands. Meanwhile, Christen just wants to say hi.

April Not much really happens because they’ve suddenly gone 100% stealth mode, with Tobin injured and not able to travel and all, but thanks to a little tweet we see that on NWSL opening day there was still some sort of support aka Tobin watching the Chicago game while on the stands for the Portland home opener. It’s better than nothing right? Oh and when Chicago visits PDX for the 3rd game, Chris gets taken down and Tobin looks away because she probably can’t watch it without going apeshit idk. Same. Anyway, Chris sends smiles towards the box and I guess I’m okay with that.

May “what injury?!” Tobin then says as she boards a flight to Chicago after the Thorns game to bear witness to/be the reason behind the end of the drought (goals & content tbh thank you). Cyb her back died so CRS could rise? Meanwhile to pass the time though Tobs becomes Asst Director for the Thorns youth program and paints for bae. And right after their respective weekend home games, Press ies out to PDX for Tobin’s birthday shebang. Tobin picks her up from the airport and takes her to her party and everything!

June A couple of friendlies abroad happen but since Tobs is injured she’s off the roster but she does some housewarming for Chris til she gets back from practicing on babysitting Cash. So after that, getting back into the swing of things in the NWSL is easy for Chris but unfortunately Tobin still can’t play so the next best thing is staying together in ChiTown to keep the blues away for like.... 2 weeks.

July ...Tobin’s still injured. But at least she has some fresh shoes (and expensive sliders)! And Press spends some time in LA to keep her company at rehab. Some people thought July was gonna be the first month we don’t get any content and Press personally makes sure it isn’t during the Chi vs Orl game on lifetime.

August We have a weird Tournament of Nations and it’s probably because Tobin’s back hasn’t resurrected yet but in the last game in LA, we get a rare sighting of a stud at training so maybe we’ve still got a shot. I mean i guess 2nd place in our own tournament isn’t so bad? Kinda? But whatever. What’s important is the roller blading that happens the days after. And then it’s time for CHIvsPOR. And after that, Tobin’s back in LA hanging out with Chris’ sister and bro-in-law at a bar because you know, they’re close or whatever.

September Ok so it’s been quiet but it’s not because of anything crazy. They’ve just done better at the privacy thing. Good on them you know ? But anyway. They reunite in Colorado and Cincinnati.

October The final regular season match is conveniently in Portland and unfortunately, they end up not playing each other in the semis so Chicago has to book a flight to NC but Chris still makes sure to enjoy her time. So after the uswnt game that Tobs has to sit out, the only time we have proof that Tobin is still alive is the Century 21 event in Arizona. Meanwhile Chris is back home with her pups in LA. But Tobs flies to get in on the puppy love but we only know through her shadow and when they turn into wine moms for a night.

November Fall this year is coming along quite nicely but not as nice as it is in Portland, probably, because there are Trainbows, says Chris! In Canada Chris serves some gross hearteyes despite the fact that Tobin’s been sidelined due to injury. They have the last game of the year in Cali and it kickstarts the swaggin they do together. And then November ends with a bang with them posting about flying to london for a red carpet event!

December Said red carpet event is the annual Grassroot Soccer Gala. (And this time Tobin doesn’t go ghost!) And they just wander around taking good pictures and visiting friends and watching football! Thanks HAO! Thanks Crystal! And then they’re back to being Domestic!Preath canoodling in their LA loft by the beach, chilling and hangin out with friends and being Christmassy and such.

The following is from Preath-Things

December (cont.) Christmas rolls around, and they end up going back to their respective fams, meeting back up in Portland some days later. They spend New Years eve snowboarding and just chilling in the snow with their friends. 👌

2018

January New Years is spent in Portland going sledding, but they eventually head back down to California so Tobin can get her ankle fixed. January camp happens without Tobin. But it's fine because Christen and Tobin spend every other moment together, watching sunsets in the rain and Tobin's having a super duper good recovery. Christen finds a new club in the NWSL, surprise! After the friendly against Denmark, they're back to spending all their time together, holding water bottles and attending conferences.

February Tobin has a new job ! Modelling for the new Mercurials in London, whilst also showing off her piano skills, which Christen's obviously heard before with there being a keyboard and all hanging around at their places. Tobin continues her modelling career in LA because the shoes are orange so of course she would. Christen on the other-hand pays a quick visit to houston then reports to camp. Tobin's still out and not playing soccer because remember she's still trying out her modelling career.

March The SheBelieves Cup happens. Or maybe it doesn't. Debatable, considering Christen is bascially nowhere to be found on the pitch, and there's little evidence of her even being at camp. Tobin's also too busy moving from her modelling career to her acting career to be there and play. The uswnt wins the cup somehow anyway. Christen goes back to Portland after the cup and it's a bit quiet but Tobin and Christen are spending some quality time together so isn't that really all that matters? Another surprise ! Christen doesn't want to be with her new NWSL club. So she's heading to Sweden to relive some good times instead, but not before flying kites with Tobin. Tobin also paints a few things inlcuing a 9 post equality sign because she's just that extra.

April Christen returns to her happy place. 🇸🇪 She signs with Kopparbergs/Göteborg FC and scores goals, lots of them. To the absolute surprise of everyone (read: no one) she's named April player of the month in the Damallsvenskan! Tobin decides to put both her modelling and acting careers on hold in an attempt to try her luck at the soccer thing again. Also, being the supportive gal pals that they are, and separated by an ocean, they get into the habit of liking each others instagram posts every so often.

May There are pool parties, sea dips and visits to Norway for Christen, during all of which she proves she did in fact pack Tobin's entire closet, accessories and style before she left PDX. Still separated by an ocean, not really too much happens, other than each of them continuing to practice the liking option on each others instagram posts.

June It's Pride Month 🌈 and Pride Month Delivers. Tobin is called up to national team camp for the first time since forever because her ankle seems to be a-okay, and Jill remembers Christen exists all of a sudden and also calls her up. Which means the two lovebirds finally get to reunite in Utah after months of being super long distance. This officially kicks off Pride month celebrations across the globe. Tobin feels 'tight' prior to the game and decides not to join in on the first Pride month celebration of the USWNT aka the first game against China, instead opting to chill and watch the game from the stands. After Tobin sees the Utah Royals owner get down on one knee in front of her girl, she decides it's time to remind the world that Christen is her's by posting a selfie with her and her gal pal. Christen seems to like the photo too and decides to also repost it because it's pride month after all and you gotta spread the love or something. And that's not the only thing she seems to like, deciding to swap clothes with her girl for their date to the Cavs game. Chris wears Tobin's Cavs jersey, like the traitor she is because apparently whilst it might be the wrong team, it's the right number (in other words words.. the things you do for love, and to wear something with the #23). Pride month continues to deliver with the second game against China and what better way to celebrate pride month by marking the game as Christen's 100th cap?!! Oh there are better ways, says the universe or something because Christen assists a goal in the first half, Tobin enters the match in the second half, and we are blessed with a pREATH GOALl!!! or alternatively a small game of keepy uppy between the two lovebirds which ends up with a ball at the back of the net and a Preath celebration we deserve, whichever you prefer to call it. Pride camp ends, but not before Chris makes sure to just leave one last mark on her time in Cleveland. After flying off together to Chi town, they go their separate ways and Chris returns to Sweden. But it seems that Pride month has one last piece of magic to make happen, and Christen's caught up in another big tangle of a messy trade within the NWSL, which lands her in Utah. A trade she accepts. She is now officially royalty. A queen. 👑 Soon after Chris arrives at her new club, Tobin takes a quick pit stop there on her way back from Houston, because obviously she gotta help her girl settle in to her new home away from home.

July So it’s the Fourth of July and the new royalty/royals, Chris and Sam decide it’s a great idea to celebrate it by buying food to grill even when neither of them know how to turn on a girl grill! Stuck on how to turn on the offending cooking appliance, Chris uses a lifeline and chooses to phone a (girl)friend. Grill Master Tobin pulls through and saves the day. Not that Christen wants anyone to know that Tobin did (gotta mute those instastories, you know?), but Sam does (thanks Sam!). At the same time, Laura decides to inform the world that Christen lives in Portland (thanks Laura!). The Battle of the Baes returns to Portland for 2018 and it ends with a hug and a kiss drinks back at home. Then it's back to Utah for Chris. The Tournament of Nations happens again and it’s not as weird as the previous year’s (probably because Tobin decides to join in this time around). To prepare for the games, Christen returns home to Portland so the two lovers can visit the Nike HQ, go berry picking and dream about pies. Gotta have that pre-camp preparation and relaxation at home with your SO, you know?! The first game of the tourney is against Japan, and it ends with a W and has Tobin subbing on for Christen. There’s shoulder rubs and hip taps and some airport shenanigans. Remember how Tobin was subbed on for Chris? Chris is subbed on for Tobin in the next game against Australia! It’s now completely apparent that Jill deems having both of them playing at the same time to be just Too Dangerous for opposing teams due to their ridiculous on and off the pitch chemistry. She’s clearly just sparing the opposition from a super embarrassing defeat. Good tactic. Chris’ fam comes to say hi in Connecticut 🖐️

August The tourney continues and there’s some team pictionary bonding prior to their final ToN game against Brazil. The Brazil game ends with a Tobin goal and assist, a win and a trophy, as the uswnt finally win the tourney!!!! Also, at this stage it's questionable whether the two are trying to be sneaky or not anymore with Chris throwing literal heart eyes at Tobin at the start of the game, and Tobin putting her arm around Chris' shoulder at the end. 🤷 After the ToN it’s back to their clubs and it’s a bit quiet, but I mean as to be expected. What’s not expected however is the shenanigans that happen prior to the NT's first Chile game back in Christen’s hometown. It’s CP's 100th cap celebration, and Tobin pOSTS her girl a congratulatory post ??? Picture, profile tag, emojis and all?? If you thought the girl would stop there with her public celebration of her bae's 100th cap celebration, you'd be d e a d w r o n g. Tobito also proudly wears Christen’s name on her back ??? somewhat earlier than anyone's anticipated ??? Chris has her ceremony, and Tobin literally has the proudest smile, which you could probably see from space— and it’s debatable whether a tear escapes her eyes during the ceremony, but who could blame her if one did?? So it’s game time and we finally get the long-awaited Captain Press, and it’s everything we could’ve dreamed of!!!! Truly spectacular. Tobin gifts Christen with a PK, which she perfectly finishes because she’s Chris. But there’s a big commotion and suddenly the goal doesn’t count???? Because the ref is apparently trying to ruin Chris’s day ??? and doesn’t know the rules of soccer like at all??? Tobin won’t hear of it obvs— leading the rest of the team as they storm up towards the ref with wagging fingers and pitchforks at halftime, whilst at the same time the Press Pack is up in arms. But it’s (semi) fine in the end because Chris gets another goal anyway (it's beautiful)— capping off the perfect night and a perfect victory in the most perfect place. ❤️❤️ Talking about perfect, both Chris and Tobs are also the most perfect human beings, donating their jerseys from the game to TWLOHA.

September The second game against Chile only features Tobin, but before and after the game she’s wearing a t-shirt that looks strangely like a Supreme-branded shirt with the letters P R E S S spelled out ?? Anyways it's another victory for the team, and everyone eventually heads back to their clubs for the final week of regular season. Then it's postseason time, and Chris returns to Portland to train alone 👎, whilst Tobs is off training with her club. The Thorns play their semifinal game and get the W, obvs cheered on by Chris in the stands. Weirdly enough though, the NWSL championship game for 2k18 just..... never happens ????? Super strange. (Although if it did, Chris was once again there, cheering her girl on) Anyways the season's over, and another season begins— the offseason (aka the best season) where the love birds stroll the streets of Portland (probably holding hands or something cute) and get ready for camp. Although it looks like they might've received the wrong memo about what kind of camp they had coming up— as they end up in the wilderness of Oregon.. camping? And debatably skinny dipping? Who knows?! Is there actually a bikini strap around Tobs's neck? Who knows?! What we do know is that they only packed one suitcase, Christen's gone granola, and the two eventually head on out of there once they realize they're most definitely at the wrong camp— heading off to NC for the camp they were actually meant to be at.

October It's World Cup Qualifiers time, and Chris and Tobs score some goals, Chris has suddenly grown a dragonfly on her arm, and sometime between their last uswnt game and the qualifiers, the two nerds have created their own little handshake— because Chris wanted in on the whole handshake club (who could blame her tbh). So the uswnt qualify for the world cup (!!!!!), and the love birds go and celebrate by showing off their Spanish 101 knowledge in Mexico, and literally murdering everyone by posting photos from their beach and infinity pool photoshoots ??? Like cool, it's not like we were trying to live or anything, right ?? Nah. Oh yeah they're also not being subtle about the fact they're in literally the same place either. But you know what, subtle schmutle thinks Chris, as she posts a boomerang of Tobs and her at tees + jeans like it's like no big deal you know like, whatever. They head to pdx to stand in the fall leaves and take more photos of each other.

November

So there’s a couple USWNT friendlies abroad which Tobs and Chris don’t join in on due to personal and family commitments (respectively), but it's okay (kinda) because they instead

visit an art museum

together— fitting right in as the works of art that they are. Oh yeah Tobin seems to be the

newest Royals signing

? and she's also number 21. Tobs and Chris have a

New York minute week

— jumping into ball pits and casually posting an instastory of themselves together, because obvs it's nbd. They also spend some quality time around thanksgiving with Tobin's fam.

December

The two head back west and drop by stubhub to give some inspirational pep talk to some young athletes at Nike’s,

Play Like a Pro thing

and also so Pressy can

grand marshal

the PV Christmas lights parade ! They also do some

toca training

,

lab visiting

,

sunset watching, more training/testing and family photo taking

. So they basically spend a whole lotta time together— training and being cute and shit ❤️️❤️. They might've headed to Florida also during this time but no one's 100% sure, and it's all a bit of guesswork and squinting. Whatever the case, they were together during most of month because offseason means, barely leaving the bae's side season, until Christmas that is— where they go their separate ways for a couple days. But then it’s Pressy’s birthday aka Christmas 2.0, so Tobs jets back to the west coast to join in on the celebrations, because obviously the best/most important present is Tobin's presence, duh. So they're finally back together in the west coast for the remaining days of 2018, and they finish the year by watching sunsets off rooftops, and preparing to see in the new year together. 💕

The following is when Preathbar took over.

2019

January It’s 2019! Tobin and Christen ring in the new year much like they ended the last one. They play some beach volleyball, To(es)bin watches some premier league, they continue training, Chris gets lost in LA, makes sure we know she’s feeding Tobin, and finally, they watch the last sunset in LA for two weeks😂 lol. Before the fun of camp can start, they get delayed at the airport AND TOBIN ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGES CHRISTEN’S EXISTENCE. It’s fine. We’re all okay from that. (Also Tobin has some Tibetan prayer beads on?) Christen tells us you can’t mess with her zen and they eventually make it to January Camp in Portugal. Because they can’t live without a sunset, they find some (arguably better) ones on a beach in Portugal. Jan Camp finishes up and as luck would have it the whole team gets delayed this time and Tobin passes the time by playing Mario Kart. The orange and pink Kånken bags make a reappearance and of course, Tobes and Chris are airplane buddies. They arrive in Le Havre, France and everyone is still blissfully ignorant about the future events. Apparently, Tobin took a knock during camp and is held out of the first game on precaution so it is CP vs France. Literally and figuratively. The game against France goes very well, and we’re all so glad THAT game was the one on the weekend. After that *ahem* rough, game it’s time to move on and the team makes their way to Alicante, Spain where Tobes and Chris enjoy a day out and about. Tobin seems to have recovered and gets a start against Spain, CP doesn’t, but after a 0-0 first half, Jill decides to sub her in and SHE SCORES A FREAKING (GAMEWINNING) GOAL. The wives only get to play together for 20ish minutes, but we are treated to plenty of Preath content during and after the game. First, there’s the goal celebration that includes a Tobes head pat and a wink from the one and only Christen Press 😉. At halftime, there’s some hand holding glove holding, but after the game we witnessed a to a PreathTackle™ via Tobin Heath. She’s just so proud of her girl she can hardly contain her emotions (and we can’t either 😭). They return to LA after the madness in Europe just in time to catch a sunrise.

February So very early on into the month, Tobin literally comes out of the blue with her “The Ones” interview while promoting the new Air Jordans, and let me tell you, the photos were anything but chill. The go on a little daytime date 💙 and Christen shows off her many rings. After that, Christen decides to prove that Tobin’s not the only model in the family and hits us with the behind-the-scenes of her photoshoot with localemagazine. Stay tuned until May for our Covergirl. Shortly, our family of models decides to return to their day jobs and attend camp in Tampa, FL for the She Believes Cup. They can’t help but be attached at the hip while they’re there (and we’re not complaining). The team makes their way to Philly and Tobin, Chris, and Ash go on a little stroll where Preath proves, yet again, that they exist in the same universe. USWNT vs Japan is first up and again, Christen comes off the bench and makes an immediate impact with an assist, giving the US the lead. She also gets smacked in the face but its okay because Tobes makes sure to check up on her. We also definitely win the game and don’t waste all that work CP did by letting them tie it up.

March After the performance against Japan, the team sets their sights to England at camp. To celebrate the “SheBelieves spirit” they all wear the name of an inspirational woman of their choosing on their backs. Christen chooses the unproblematic fave of Sojourner Truth and Tobin chooses Doris Burke, who was very moved by the gesture. Before the game, Christen gives Tobin her stick of gum bc CP still isn’t starting. Unfortunately, the team seems to play as if they are the names on their back and tie. AGAIN. Maybe it was just the cold because Tobes and Chris almost miss the plane back to sunny Florida, but after quickly boarding the gayng gets to sit together. With one more game left, it looks almost impossible for the US to win the tournament, and we don’t, but we manage to win our last game 1-0 with a goal by the one and only Tobin Heath. Unfortunately, it’s now Chris’ turn to make sure Tobin is okay after a hard foul. Before we take a break from the USWNT for a little while, the World Cup kits are announced with a plethora of promotion. Tobin and Christen both return to their club teams and Tobin does some more promotion for the Thorn’s new kits and sixstar. Christen returns to LA to play some preseason games with Utah and while she’s there she is reunited with Morena and Khalessi. CP is announced as the honorary falconer for the LAFC game and reminds us that if the animal isn’t a dog, she’s slightly intimidated. Tobin also plays a preseason game for Portland and apparently tears it up, but her time with the Thorns is cut short when they both re-port for camp and are re-united for the April Friendlies.

April Camp slowly starts to wind down as the upcoming friendlies draw closer, but not before some exciting news. LUNA Bar announces that they will cover the World Cup roster bonus pay gap for the entire US Women’s National Team! It is revealed that Christen was one of the “chief architects of the team’s current collective bargaining agreement” and she reminds us how smart and beautiful she is in several different interviews. Then, we are provided with an incredible picture that only confirms that Tobin and Christen are bus buddies (in case we somehow forgot). Press is not only smart and beautiful, but she’s also talented at this game of soccer and helps the team win over Australia in an overly dramatic sort-of way. Tobin notches a goal over Australia, but she doesn’t get any minutes against Belgium. CP, however, plays a full 90 minutes and provides 3 assists off of set pieces!!! Nobody seems to notice though. After two successful friendlies with the National Team, they return to play their first (and last for awhile) games for their NWSL teams. Tobin earns POTY with the Portland Thorns and later, an absolutely wild game is played against Chicago. Meanwhile, Press proves what a class act she is in Utah and notches an assist in her first game and then a goal in the second. Just as they start to settle in, we all sadly realize they have to leave their club teams, even though we STILL don’t have a WC roster, but we do get a bunch of amazing gifs. After her game in Orlando, Christen stays a while in Miami where she shows us her coconuts and does lots of promo before we finally get the announcement we were all patiently waiting for. HuLU hAS LivE spOrTS!

May On the first of the month, Tobes and Chris are spotted at the Hulu Upfronts with several other players, looking as gorgeous as ever. Eventually, after virtually the entire roster being known beforehand, USsoccer drops the 2019 Women’s World Cup Roster and Tobin Heath is going to her third World Cup while Christen Press is going to her second, but they’re doing it together this time. With the announcement of the roster, everyone heads to camp before the last of the send-off series games. (Oh and also there’s an incident with Tobin in a button up and her shoulder but whatever. It’s fine.) Remember that “re-” thing Tobin, Christen, Pinoe, and Kling kept teasing/we thought it was an inside joke? Well, it turns Rɘ-inc is an entire company the ladies are starting and they strive to rɘ-imagine rɘ-invent rɘ-configure, and rɘ-volt (to name a few). They are set to launch June 2017 2019 and we can only hope to be blessed with more photos of Tobin wearing... boxers? The first friendly is played against South Africa, and Tobin and Chris actually get to start together, but still, a preath-goal alluded them the entire game. Do you remember back in February when we saw the behind-the-scenes of CP’s shoot with localemagzine? Well now it’s May and Christen is officially a cover girl and I swear they’re all trying to kill us before the World Cup because no one should be allowed to look that hot, but it's Christen so why are we surprised? The penultimate send-off game against New Zealand goes off with little fan-fare (but the girls do notch goals and/or assists). The team seems to have the weekend off before playing their last game and of course, Tobin and Christen return to Portland and decide to watch the Blazers play the Warriors in the Conference finals. How do we know they were at the game? I mean, other than the fact the CP posted a story on Instagram about Nike making Tobes’ dreams come true you could LITERALLY SEE THEM ON LIVE TV BC THEY HAD SECOND ROW FLOOR SEATS BEHIND THE BENCH. Let’s just say we all suddenly cared a lot about basketball that night. A few days later the USWNT heads to New York, is surprised in time square (where T&C are bus buddies, duh), attends GMA, and has Media Day at Twitter’s headquarters. It was a content overload. We never get a break either because few days after that they play their last send-off series game against Mexico and guess what; Tobin and Christen BOTH SCORE (goals)!!! Most would think that having an afternoon game means that the rest of the day is for relaxing and recovery… well, you’d be wrong. Apparently, it’s time for the launch party of Rɘ-Inc and Christen is wearing a Suit. I repeat a Suit at the party and Tobin is wearing a black dress. They both looked absolutely incredible. Rɘ-inc provides us with a lot of amazing content throughout the month. It’s a quick turn around again and the NT now makes their way to London for their final training before the World Cup starts. It’s also Tobin’s 31st birthday and we all hoped and prayed that Christen would post something for it and luckily, she didn’t disappoint.

June It’s officially World Cup Time, but not before a little camp and because the US plays last there’s still time for them to release their 23 stories even after the tournament has officially started. And since we’ve got the time, ESPN announces that Tobin Heath will be profiled on their next E60 special. Tobin finally opens up about… playing soccer… and also her family. In the end, the whole interview makes us love Aunty To-To even more (if that’s even possible) and the unredacted interviews in a podcast are definitely worth the listen. As the last game of the first round of group stage games commences, the USA finally gets their chance to shine, and in a historic 13-0 win against Thailand, boy do they make a controversial statement. Christen notches an assist after she’s subbed in for Tobin because they would be too powerful together on the field. After a few days of rest (and being caught on a live stream with their arms around each other), they play their next game against Chile and while they don’t win 13-0 (which is mostly because Christen gets denied so many times) 3-0 qualifies them for the round of 16. Next up is Sweden and they win 2-0 where Tobin even scores a goal! (Fifa says it’s an own goal but there are lots of things we don’t like about Fifa). Getting first in the group means Spain is our Round of 16 opponent and after a bit of suffering, and Christen’s 2 whole minutes of play time, we win 2-1. Then, it was time for the most anticipated match of the World Cup. A quarterfinal between the USA and France in Paris. Spoiler Alert: WE WON MOTHERFUCKERS and we even got an adorable hug afterward. Tobin scored ANOTHER GOAL but Fifa is plotting against her and it was called offsides. Now a semifinal versus England awaits.

July So… I don’t even know where to begin with this absolutely crazy month. All I can say is... you’re not ready. Guess what! Christen got the start against England and silenced all her skeptics in the 10th minute when she scored a beautiful header! After falling to the ground in pure emotion, Tobin basically nuzzled her head into Chris’s neck in celebration and it was an absolutely beautiful moment for many reasons. The US went on to win and the final would be the USWNT vs the Netherlands. After waiting a little longer to score than usual, THE UNITED STATES WOMEN’S NATIONAL SOCCER TEAM WAS BACK TO BACK, 4-TIME, WORLD CUP CHAMPIONS!!!! TOBIN HEATH AND CHRISTEN PRESS ARE TWO TIME WORLD CUP CHAMPIONS! Tobin ran straight to Christen after the final whistle because they did it together this time. That’s not all though, during the trophy presentation, in the midst of everyone else’s celebration, Tobin looked and Christen and Christen looked at Tobin and they hugged and basically recreated the iconic photo from 4 years ago and I’M STILL NOT OVER IT AND I WILL NEVER BE AND YOU SHOULDN’T BE EITHER. THEN, after ALL of that, T&C decided to go lay in the confetti together and Christen adorably let Tobin throw confetti all over her and I STILL CAN’T. Not to even MENTION the baby Tobin collected and showed to Chris because they’re so domestic™ before Chris decided to adjust Tobin’s medal because they’re also soft™. The real celebration began afterward in the locker room and a lot of alcohol was consumed, but all Chris was worried about was keeping her hair dry with a little blue towel. The next day, after a transatlantic flight and us wondering how they’re going to survive, the team arrived in New York City and the party's just getting started because the day after that the entire team is a guest on Good Morning America. We’re not done yet because the NEXT morning a ticker tape parade through the Canyon of Heroes awaits them (don’t worry, they were on the same float) before a cross-continental flight to LA just in time for the ESPYS (Tobin is apparently dragged, but it was fun). Tobin looks way too damn good in christen’s her v-neck suit, even though her shoe/sunglasses choice was questionable. Christen blessed us with a yellow v-neck suit and both girls were truly “stuntin” on us. THEN THE DAY WE F U C K I N G DIED!!! I’m not even joking. It started out innocent enough (which it really wasn’t but whatever). Christen posted of photo of JUST them together on the float and captioned it “blissful and grateful”. It was already more than we asked for but THEN she started posting pictures of JUST them at the ESPYS on her story and by this point we were already not OKAY. THEN Tobin decided she wasn’t PLAYING AROUND and posted pictures of JUST them on the red carpet and THEN THAT FUCKING VIDEO. T H E STORY TO END ALL INSTA STORIES. What was the video, you ask? Well, what are the New Chicago Bulls Fire J1s… from Travis Scott? Did you see them? How did she get those they’re not even released yet? Watch at your own risk. Finally, both girls decide to decompress and took mini vacay to Los Cabos because why not, you’re world cup champions, and after re-freshing they both fly home to Portland. Of course, their first game back in the NWSL is against each other because only the most chaotic energy is allowed this month. Christen scores the eventual GOTW but the game ends in a tie. Not to worry though because the next week Tobin notches two beautiful assists in the homecoming game against Houston and Christen produces another beautiful GOTW in a game that Tobin attends wearing while wearing a #23 snapback. They really refuse to be separated for more than a few days. Then, as it turns out, they both head back to Portland proving that Tobin’s excursion to Utah really was extra™ and we can only hope we’ll never come down from this content high.

August Just when we thought we were spoiled by world cup content, the girls decided they’re not done yet and we’re blessed with a TC goal during the first of the Victory Tour games versus Republic of Ireland (foreshadowing: it’s not the first of the month). Christen serves a lovely ball right to Tobin’s head and they were sure to hug adorably in celebration. Before heading back to their clubs, Re-inc hosts an event called ResetTheTable, which is basically a dinner party filled with beautiful people (in body and mind). After returning to Utah Christen scores a brace in a midweek game and helps win another so NWSL rightfully makes her Player of the Week. Then, CP heads to NYC to appear on morning talk shows to educate us about the USWNT lawsuit while looking absolutely stunning. In their last club games before international break, Christen gets another goal, and wins GOTW for the third time, and Tobin’s assists continue to grow (it probably helps that Chris goes to watch her). Their travel has been extra™ this month but it’s what you do for love. Finally, they both head to Philly for camp before playing against Portugal and we get ANOTHER TC GOAL. Christen is getting really good at assisting Tobes.

September The second round of victory tour games conclude at the beginning of the month, but Tobes and Chris are pretty adorable at open training before their second win over Portugal. Oh, Christen gets another assist so her total for 2019 is up to… 11! (that’s the leader of the national team). Then, it’s time for Battle of the Baes 2.0 and this time Christen comes out on top. Tobin ends up winning GOTW on week 23… hmm… and the Thorns clinch a playoff spot. Unfortunately, even with Christen’s header, Utah misses out again.

October After celebrating their 2019 Women’s World Cup win one more time, the victory tour games conclude in with a pair of games against South Korea. The first one is pretty uneventful, and so is the second (except for the sendoff). Tobin and Chris return to their clubs to play their last nwsl games of the season and the Thorns move on to the postseason. They face Chicago first and find themselves out of the championship game. However, Chris doesn’t seem to mind and makes her way to Portland pretty soon after. Something with re-inc seems to be brewing, but the end of the month marks the beginning of the offseason (after they play two friendlies in November, of course).

November The girls report to camp for the final time this year and everyone seems to be ready for the end of quite an incredible year but also new beginnings with a new coach. Christen and Tobin get a start against Sweden and Christen records another assist and her 50TH INTERNATIONAL GOAL!!! (Tobin may or may not fall to her knees again but that’s not important). Then, we get a TC hug and Tobin gets an assist of her own. Even after playing a game in freezing temperatures they still manage to both look adorably bundled after. The next game is even more fun than the first because Christen scores ANOTHER GOAL and we get ANOTHER TC HUG and to cap it all off we get CAPTAIN TOBIN. That’s right, CAPTAIN TOBIN (we almost got captain Christen but it’s okay). We were just barely coming down from that emotional high when the next night Pinoe brings the entire Gayng to the Glamour Awards. Tobin and Christen had a black and white moment and all I’m saying is they looked the best dressed. Re-inc launched their RWB collection and Tobin was the designer while Christen was a model. Then, Tobin decided to also be a model but in… Africa? That’s right, T and C went to South Africa for Grass Roots Soccer and they also enjoyed a safari or two before heading to London for the GRS Gala. Christen looked absolutely stunning (as always) at the event and there was no doubt that Tobin was there to support her. The holiday season has begun and at the end of the month, the girls went their separate ways to spend Thanksgiving with their families. The break was much needed and I’m sure they’re looking forward to an entire month off.

December Tobin and Christen enjoyed their month off by staying pretty quiet, but they did enjoy a snowy vacation towards the end of the month. Then, it was Christmas time and it seemed like a lot of gifts were from Tobin + Christen. Before CP’s bday could happen, they had to attend the WoSo Royal Wedding. They both looked stunning and it was just an unbelievable night in general. Finally, Christen celebrated her 31st birthday right before the decade came to an end. What a truly amazing year.

2020

January It’s the beginning of a new year and the end of the offseason, but it was still pretty quiet until the very end of the month. January Camp in Florida began in the middle of the month and didn’t stop for the 20 players named to the Olympic Qualifying roster. Obviously Tobin and Christen were and the team relocated to Texas to prepare for their group stage games of Olympic Qualifying. (Also re inc had another reset the table event). Christen started the first game against Haiti and scored a goal in the 2nd minute… talk about starting the year off with a bang. CP was also named the player of the match and she honestly seemed like she was the only one who wasn’t shaking off the rust. Unfortunately, Tobin missed out on the first game due to a slight strain but she was back in action against Panama. She even scored a no-look goal and didn’t think we would notice. Christen also added to her goal total and has now scored in 4 straight games. With two wins in their group, the USWNT has secured their spot in the semifinals and are one step closer to qualifying for the Olympics.

February Olympic Qualifying carried over into February and so did Christen’s goal scoring. CP scored two goals in the USWNT’s last group stage game against Costa Rica. The first goal she scored that game was an absolute banger and was eventually named the goal of the tournament. Also, Christen was named player of the match for the SECOND TIME of the tournament. The goal scoring didn’t stop because she scored another banger against Mexico after jumping on her own rebound. There was no way that ball wasn’t going in the back of the net. After all of this scoring and player of the match wins Christen was rightfully named best player of the entire CONCACAF tournament. She was absolutely glowing with her golden ball trophy before she gave it to her father (who was more than appreciative). Tobin was also feeling generous and gave her first place medal to a fan in the crowd (I guess that’s allowed?). After successfully qualifying for the olympics and remaining reigning CONCACAF champions, everyone had a slight break before training for the She Believes Cup began. Tobin and Christen were named to the roster, but before training could begin the gals had a photoshoot in the brand new olympic kits. I’m not saying Christen decided to debut her new engaygment ring at said photoshoot but I’m not not saying that. (Good job Tobin ;) ) It’s definitely not the offseason anymore and on February 29th, we were all leaping for joy that training camp had resumed in Florida.

March The whole gayng got to be aunties to Cassius in Florida during camp and apparently it was good luck because the USWNT won their first game in the She Believes Cup against England. It was definitely thanks to Christen’s absolute GOLAZO (the only thing she’s allowed to score against England). CHRISTEN PRESS what have you DONE. The USWNT didn’t stop and neither did Christen because in the next gain against Spain she assisted the winning goal in the 86th minute off a free kick. Christen and Tobin BOTH started against Japan and Christen was even at the number nine spot. Brownsuganumba9 lives on. It must’ve been an amazing position for her (who knew) because she scored another GOLAZO against Japan. It chipped the keeper and it was honestly filthy. CHRISTEN PRESS what did you DO. The USWNT won the She Believes Cup, but are still fighting the equal pay lawsuit against ussoccer. During the warm up of the final game of the tournament they all wore jerseys inside out to display the now iconic symbol of four stars with a blank crest. They’re in this together. Just as the USWNT played their last game, the entire world entered a quarantine. Everyone went home and it’s unclear when anyone will return to the field for club or country. However, in the midst of quarantine, there was a Surprise: Snow Storm! and Re-inc launched their posters. It has also allowed CEO Christen and the rest of the Re-inc team to start doing instagram lives in order to interact with fans. We’re in this together.

April This month began like the last one ended, still in quarantine, but that didn’t stop Re-inc from launching their BW capsule collection, but before that an absolutely INCREDIBLE photo was taken and it's pretty much the only major thing that happened this month. Thank you Miss Tobin Heath. However, all of the re-inc founders have been a lot more active on the account (probably because soccer is momentarily paused for right now). Christen found a Stacy plant and remembrance candle along with other plants for the rest of her fam. Tobin and Christen are most definitely quarantining in Portland together and will be for a while.

The following is when superdupergust took over.

May With quarantine still underway, May was all about the social media (which Christen used to flash that engaygement ring a few more times). Tobin took over re-inc's insta for a day, during which she got up surprisingly early, listened to jazz music, and killed us all with her thighs. Had you forgotten that Preath were living together? No? Well, they decided to bless us with a reminder anyway, in the form of a Zoom snippet in which T&C were adorably domestic. Then Christen surprised us with the a super gay picture of Tobin underneath a rainbow, thus winning Tobin Tuesday forever.

June Bigger and more important things were happening in June, but there were a few Preath happenings to note. Christen appeared on sportscenter and proved that she is queen of the nose boop. She was also interviewed on Load Management. Tobin debuted her ugly af new glasses, which sparked The Great Glasses Debate of 2020, and she also modeled the new Thorns kit, even though she won't be playing in it this year. We got lots of artist!Tobin content with the release of proxɘmics, and one photo was Super Extra Gay with the fridge in the background featuring not only gay art by Tobin, but a print out of a love poem Christen had posted on Insta several months before.

July July started off pretty quietly. Christen did another Instagram live - this time with chopra. re-inc teased and released the popsicle drop, but that was pretty much it. Until...THE DAY WE FUCKING DIED, PART TWO. Thanks to newly appointed gay icon Stacy's Pita Chips, we were suddenly inundated with a year's worth of content in a single day. Podcasts, pictures of T&C in the same frame, touching and looking absolutely smitten, videos where they both used terrible Zoom backgrounds to avoid giving the impression that they were in the same apartment...honestly, it was like something from a dream. Go buy some of their slightly overpriced but delicious chips right now, tbh. We owe them one. Alas, much as we would have liked July 16th to go on forever, it had to end. But the month still had one surprise up its sleeve, and it went out with a bang when Tobin decided to casually drop a pic featuring a very large new ring on a Very Important Finger. An engagement ring? A wedding ring? DEFINITELY one or the other, but no conclusive evidence as of yet. Everyone say a prayer for C to drop a pic in August...

August Alas, Christen did not provide any wedding ring evidence, but she did call Tobin her sun (if you squint a little). More cute popsicle pics dropped, and Tobin tried to murder us with her biceps. Christen did us another solid and confirmed herself as an Oregonian - we love to see it! The weeks passed, and it looked like nothing much was going to happen in August, and we were beginning to cry for content. But behold, the gods of football heard us, and we were surprised by unofficial news of T&C being loaned to Manchester United for the season...TOGETHER? Amazing. Incredible. Legendary. (Still waiting on that confirmation, though.)

September Stacy's Pita Chips is the gift that keeps on giving, and their gift this month was the first mentorship session. But it's time to get back to football, because on the tenth, it became official: Tobin and Christen would be finishing out the season at Manchester United...together. Cue screaming as Preath fans around the world suddenly began dreaming dreams of seeing them playing side-by-side once more! But football wasn't the only thing they were getting up to this month. Re-inc continued to be amazing, and teamed up with Michelle Obama and others for when we all vote. Fun side development: USWNT PA revealed that they ship Preath. How, you ask? They rolled out nothing other than a legit Preath shirt. Yes, for real. And they're not the only ones. Bless whatever Preath shipper secretly runs Manchester United's socials, because the content abounded throughout the month.

October Christen and Tobin made their debut for the Red Devils against Brighton & HA, during which Tobin got her first assist for United! Then they walked out barefoot onto the pitch together, like the marrieds they are. On the 7th, they played against Liverpool, then again on the 10th, against the Spurs. But the most exciting moment on the 10th happened just after the game...when Preath met baby Charlie (and Christen couldn't seem to keep her hands off of Tobin). Then came the 18th, vs West Ham, when Preath decided to pull off the Ultimate Football Wives move: they scored their first goals for United in the same game. In the next few days, they did some interviews together. Christen made the most adorable instagram post of all time, ostensibly as a promotion for the new re- source collection.

November November arrived, and the first game of the month was against Arsenal. Alas, neither of them scored, though Tobin did manage to get a nutmeg in under 50 seconds, because of course she did. A few days later, the expansion draft happened, and all hell broke loose when Louisville acquired the rights to both Tobin and Christen. They both stayed quiet about the change, though Tobin did not adhere to these same guidelines when she threw down some some fighting words in an interview about the upcoming Manchester Derby. Christen, meanwhile, monologued about the weather, and we loved her anyway. Then the Derby happened, and Tobin rocketed in an absolute beauty of a goal of the sort that begs to be watched on repeat. Soon, T&C were off to the Netherlands for the first USWNT camp in close to a year. In the showdown featuring the final two teams from the 2019 World Cup, Christen was starting #9, and she notched an assist just before halftime.

December We aren't the only Tobin fans, Barclays reveals when they name Tobin Player of the Month. The refs, however, aren't as convinced, and one gives her a yellow five minutes into extra time during the game versus Reading. That same day, Tobin's jawline alone converts thousands of TikTok users into woso fans (or at least causes them to briefly question their sexuality). Christen isn't playing, due to illness - non-COVID-related, thank goodness - but that doesn't stop her from being nominated for the USWNT 2020 Player of the Year. Three days later, she's doing well enough to be spotted in the stands at the game versus Everton. The game, sadly, ends in a loss, but it clearly serves as some hella good motivation. They emerge from the game versus Bristol City with a 6-1 victory, two of which are Tobin goals. The games are over for the year, but it's never been a better time to be a Preath fan, because in addition to posting several throwback pictures with Tobin on her social media over the month, Christen wishes us all a Merry Christmas (& you're welcome) by posting a picture of her and Tobin together. Interestingly, it's the same tree from Tobin's post earlier in the month. Almost like they're always in the same apartment or something. Crazy!

2021

January Sharing continues to be caring, because in addition to the Christmas tree, they also happen to share a cute lil plant. They're not always inside, though, because they go for a walk in the snow, and Christen makes some bigtime heart eyes. When the first game of the year rolls around, Tobin and Christen are both there, rather than at National Team camp, as when invitations went out, Christen was still sick, and Tobin chose to stay to help United in the January FA Women's Super League fixtures. Things take a turn, however, because Christen is the starting #9 against Chelsea, while Tobin stays on the bench all game, wearing trainers instead of boots. It's announced later that Tobin has an ankle injury, which will keep her off the field for the next 10-12 weeks, taking her out of commission for Manchester United but also ensuring she won't be competing in SheBelieves. Neither of them play in the next game, but on the last day of the month, Christen scores an absolute beauty of a goal against Everton. We can't wait to see what she has in store for February!

February It's February, and you know what that means: She Believes Cup time!! No Tobin, due to injury, but Christen is ready to rock! Things open up with a close game, as the USWNT squeaks by with a 1-0 victory against Canada. Christen scores in the 11th minute of the next game against Brazil and follows it up with an beauty of a goal in the 88th minute in the game against Argentina. With that, the US solidifies their spot as the winners of the 2021 She Believes Cup! Tobin, left behind in Manchester with nothing to do but post orange hearts on Instagram and root for her favorite girl, actually decides to join the UTD podcast and bless us with her smile as she talks about being the oldest person on the Manchester United squad.

March It turns out, Tobin did have some things keeping her busy in February - secret re-inc projects! Tobin reveals her new art, ADA (ADA as in Ada Lovelace, creator of the first computer algorithm, not as in the Americans with Disabilities Act, much to this author's initial confusion), a painting featuring binary code. CP is a proud wifey, as always. On the pitch, United plays against Aston Villa with no TC on the field, but Christen does show up looking all adorable with her beloved hot water bottle in tow. She plays in the following game against Arsenal, as well as the game against West Ham, where she scores a gorgeous goal! Back off the pitch, TC co-gift the world's largest and most expensive stuffed dog for Krashlyn's new baby daughter, Sloane, who dubs them aunties. (Take a moment to recover from the sheer cuteness.) They also *gasp* share a screen when joining in the background of the Equal Pay Day press conference at the White House, which is honestly enough to hold us over until July.

April April starts off with a bang that none of us could possibly have expected: Tobin tells Christen she loves her in a public forum, in the most adorkable way possible, causing a fandom-wide meltdown. Nothing else much happens on the Preath front this month, but this will honestly feed us for a year. With Tobin still working on recovery, Christen goes to national team camp solo, then starts against Sweden (1-1 draw) and France (2-0 USA). Back at Manchester, Christen scores a goal against Tottenham. Meanwhile, re-inc drops the Gamer Collection, and honestly no one besides Christen Press could make sweatpants look this good.

May May continues the quiet streak, but one high point is Christen becoming an ambassador for Goody hair products, which means lots of new pictures to make us (and also Tobin, probably) fall even more in love with her. She also plays her last game with Manchester United against Everton, during which she notches an assist. Once she is back stateside, she gets vaccinated. She also posts an adorable picture with her dogs, whom she has obviously missed, followed by a very LA-themed set of photos (which just might be some great foreshadowing for an event a few months following...). Tobin's radio silence is finally broken at the end of the month when she posts for her birthday, which she spends with her brother.

June June starts out on a Wild note when T&C lowkey get outed in a Pride Month Instagram story from the cake company they used for Tobin's birthday cake. The next day is Christen's sister's wedding, and Tobin is barefoot because of course she is. They add another piece of jewelry to their shared jewelry box. We also have another instance of our favorite Tobographer. Then it's time for soccer, and our favorite couple heads to Texas for camp, followed by the Summer Series. The first game is against Portugal, during which Christen gets her 40th career assist with the national team. Christen and Tobin can't wink or flirt, but they're still adorable. Next up is Jamaica, and Christen gets Woman of the Match. After that is Nigeria, and Christen scores the opening goal! We FINALLY get a look at the Olympics roster, including both T&C. Then, because June still has more to give, Christen takes over the re-inc insta for a day. As the saying goes, but wait, there's more! Christen and Tobin host a party for the reunite re-inc line. They look entirely too cute eating fruit together.

July July begins with the Send-Off Series, a two-game series against Mexico. AND BOY IS GAME ONE A GOOD ONE. Christen scores twice, and Tobin makes her grand return to football with an absolute banger basically two seconds after being subbed in. AND THERE ARE HUGS. SO MANY HUGS. IN THE RAIN. At one point they basically audition for the cover of a Nicholas Sparks novel. Then comes the second game, featuring the most ridiculous ref ever to ref, when an accidental whistle blow that players clearly didn't hear winds up disallowing an absolutely stunning Preath goal. But not to worry! We still win, and Tobin scores for the second game in a row (featuring another hug and an incredibly dorky celebration). (We're still salty, though.) Then it's officially Tokyo time! The 2021 "2020" Olympics begin with a game against Sweden that all of us would just very much like to forget. Next up is The One with All the Offsides Calls New Zealand. Both our gals get an assist, and Christen gets her first ever Olympic goal!! During practice, they're showing off some pretty out of control grounding heart eyes. Then history is made when Tobin and Christen actually post a re-inc video where they're in the same frame. And guess what? The world doesn't implode! The next game is against Australia, which ends in a nil-nil draw. But the important thing is that there's Preath hug, and in certain angles, it looks like a kiss (even though it isn't, alas). Then comes the game against the Netherlands, which is a 2-2 tie that goes to penalties. Christen is up, and every single person in the fandom collectively holds their breath, the 2016 Olympics running through our brains. But she makes it, and the camera immediately cuts to Tobin screaming her head off for her *cough*wife*cough* teammate. The US wins!

August The game against Canada sadly ends in a 0-1 loss. It takes away our chance for gold, but the silver lining (see what I did there?) is that the game is Tobin's 176th cap, officially moving her up to third place for most Olympic appearances in USWNT history. The US still has a chance for the bronze, and they play Australia for it...and emerge victorious! Christen finally has her Olympic medal!! In fact, she strangely seems to have two of them...wonder where she got the second...? The next day, the Olympic Village is the scene of some cute Preath moments, official and unofficial. Then Tobin gets on Instagram and ends the entire fandom with the absolute cutest post ever. The rest of the month is eventful: re-inc drops the Field of Flowers collection. There's a fan sighting in Jersey. And most importantly, CP to LA comes true! Angel City announces Christen as their first signing!

September The signing news doesn't end with Christen, though. Only a few days later, it's announced that Tobin is heading to Arsenal, her lifelong favorite team! LA continues to provide lots of Christen content. Which is nice, because Christen announces she's taking a short break from football to focus on herself. Therefore, Tobin is the only one at camp later in the month. The US plays Paraguay for back-to-back games, and sadly the Paraguayan national team doesn't let this author sneak aboard their plane to see the game in person. Still, the US wins decidedly with a final score of 9-0 on the first night and 8-0 on the second, with one of the goals in Game #1 coming from Tobin. Then Tobin is off to England. Christen also declares she'll be going on a journey...which also strangely happens to lead her to Tobin's first Arsenal game...and her second, where they share a hug after the game, despite not even being on the field together. We love to see it. :')

October In progress

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THE FOLLOWING IS ORIGINALLY FROM SKATERTOBIN'S BLOG:

Ok so here’s what we think went down:

2015 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AUGUST TO I WANNA SAY NOVEMBER? They get close during the victory tour, Chris being the only other person aside from Alex to be invited to Tobin’s 100th cap dinner and all and them sharing a seat at the White House. Basic stuff.

DECEMBER Christen tags along with Tobin on her Hawaii strolls (especially since both Cheney and ARod aren’t around for the Hawaii game). Wander around Waikiki Beach and hang out with Friends with Flowers in their hair and other fun things like that. Maybe Christen watches Tobin surf at some point and maybe Tobin teaches her how as well. 👀 Idk. But I’m positive swimming happens in cute bikinis because I mean.... it’s Hawaii!! 🙄 They they fly to NOLA for the last VT game. And Press is probs like “hey so where ya staying at after this (the China game)?” like while they’re walking along Bourbon Street where the Leather Jacket™ makes its first appearance. Then tobs is probs like “maybe Portland?” Then Chris is all “well that’s just a state away from where I’m headed wanna crash for a bit?” Then tobs, being the homeless little shit that she is, is maybe like “sweet can we go to the beach” then Christen is all “literally everyday” and then done deal. That’s that. So from there they take the same flight to LA from the NOLA airport. Why? Who knows but tbh Tobs maybe (definitely) stays in PV with Pressy and maybe (definitely) is the reason why Christen’s late to that boat parade at Newport with ARod and Whit cos you know... busy being a good host and such. But then it’s the holidays so we know Tobs would go home to her fam in the east coast for Christmas like the good daughter she’s supposed to be so she does, but she goes right back to LA to maaaaaybe celebrate Chris’ birthday. Boop. And you know since she’s already there they’re probably like, “why not spend New Year’s Eve together and train together at the TOCA center while we’re at it???” Like it’s the most obvious thing because I mean maybe they realize they’d be playing more together with Christen nally being close to a starting spot. Hawink!!!! Work on their chemistry as the kids call it because ya know... First Touch Is Everything™.

2016 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JANUARY So maybe Tobs flies back to spend New Years with fam again because Chris can’t have her forever. But also maybe not because that would have been very convinient since they get called in to camp in Cali shortly after. But I mean you know, who knows. But wtvr. So there they spend a lot of time together like going to the beach together and getting coffee together and entering and exiting the locker rooms and US soccer vans together. You know. Fun stuff. Then the SD game happens and then they all fly to their respective homes but Tobin doesn’t have a home remember so she invites Press to go to Portland with her and they hold hands at the airport while Press is wearing the Purple Hat™ and maybe they go to the Nike HQ together and go furniture shopping and then they have dinner at a fancy restaurant and Tobs shows Chris around her soon to be new home like a local. Then they fly back to LA because beastmode soccer is a thing and they wanna train and be beasts. And then in between they share sunsets together and play with Morena and Khaleesi and Tobin is snookums.

FEBRUARY It’s Olympic Qualifiers in Texas and well what do you know??? The little shits score a goal together, and then steal the van keys so they can go out on Valentine’s Day. There’s a monkey stuffed toy involved and I hate my life basically because @ god, why. 🔥 They go back to LA together after celebrating their Olympic qualifying win to watch the Arsenal vs Barça game in Santa Monica and have sushi together and also crash the u16 camp. Then they go back to PV and Fly Away™ because All We Need Is Love™. Also because christen has a fUCKING BODY ISSUE PHOTOSHOOT that they’re tOTALLY NOT SUBTLE ABOUT. Ok maybe they’re totally subtle. Kind of.

MARCH They go into the SheBelieves Cup in Florida and go Raw Juicin’ and jewelry shopping because that’s what gal pals do obviously. Chris probs tags along when Tobin hangs out with her French friends and they fly back together to NJ to meet Christen’s fam (who would have thought?!) and to NYC to Find Neverland. And then I mean imagine the goodbye for when they go their separate ways for the NWSL preseason and if you’re wondering how they’d cope, the answer is: Not well.

APRIL They meet again for the Orlando camp and they all gotta be lowkey and concentrate on the training but then the OCSC vs PTFC game happens and they’re not so slick and get accidentally recordedand Tobin’s like 🙅🙅🙅... So they train in Orlando and Colorado and win in Connecticut and Philly vs Colombia and then they play chess in between and have coffee. Turns out they’re new bus buddies too now Allie’s in camp. And maybe (definitely), Jill Ellis is a fangirl and ships the little shits together because suddenly Press is a right middy and Tobs is a right back. If not for the sole purpose of Foudy saying on live television that Tobin would be watching Christen’s ass the entire game, basically. Anyway. CAPTAIN Tobs gets some winking action caught on camera and we’re all just gone. Adios. Goodbye.

MAY NWSL starts back up and we’re all excited but also sad because preath but they’re fine and we’re being dramatic but not as dramatic as them because apparently they desperately miss one another??????.... So like, when Chicago plays in Seattle the same weekend Portland plays at home, what else would Tobs do right? Would she drive four hours to watch the game? The answer is yes. But why right???? WHYYYYY???? Because obviously, Press in the west coast means some much needed quality time in Portland i.e. a double date at a fancy vineyard with a view and some tacos.

JUNE The games vs. Japan happen in Denver and happen in Cleveland and that’s apparently not enough for them because Tobin tags along with Press and the Chicago girls to watch the MehNT and the Jumbotron loves them just as much as they do each other. The two part series of a battle of the baes in the CHIvsPOR NWSL games starts in Chicago and ends in Portland so naturally (duh) Press stays in Portland so the little shits could have private training sessions together before flying to Chicago again. Fuckers. (Honestly it’s not practical but thEY INSIST)

JULY The game vs South Africa happens after which they conveniently skedaddle ahead of everyone else in a separate car because of dinner reservations at yet another fancy restaurant. They both make it to the Olympic 18 and they “celebrate” it by going on a not-so romantic getaway to the ESPYS in LA and then they have dinner with Alex and Allie because like, Press probably (I’m sensing a theme, are you?) gotta have an initiation of sorts because things bout to get serious. 💁 But well Tobin gets an initiation of her own too so they’re even. 😅 But well, Tobin gets They head into camp in KC then win their Olympic send off game against CRC👀 and fly again to camp in DC with the NJ crew and chill before flying aGAIN for the Olympic Games !!!

AUGUST They get to Brazil and have a killer Olympics .............Can you believe the Olympics got cancelled this year?????? Amazing. Anyway. That’s irrelevant. What’s not irrelevant though!!!!!! is them coming back to the states!!!! But instead of going straight home, the little shits get a connecting flight from Chicago (to probably get stuff??) to Portland together to get away from it all. Some good music, good coffee, a little kite flying and some R & R with good company and suddenly all is right in the world again. 👍 NWSL regular season to look forward to.

SEPTEMBER So like, the NWSL starts up again right and they go their separate ways and you’d think they’d calm down a bit but BITCH YOU THOUGHT because they secretly meet up again because Press is Tobin’s plus one at her sister’s wedding in Rhode Island and she’s even invited to the rehearsal dinner which is “for immediate family and the bridal party only”. Cyb Press is considered immediate family?????? I can’t TBH. Anyway. That’s only for the weekend though because they gotta get back to their teams to play and try and get berths to the playoffs.... which they boTH DO!! Nice. NT training camp follows and it’s in Columbus so oBVIOUSLY Ms. Portland’s gotta fly in a day early to the east coast to meet up with Captain Chicago & Co. and we find out that Tobin’s tired af and that JJ is a shipper. 😌 Then Columbus happens where we finally get the goal celebration we truly deserve and where the whole stadium empathizes with two college dudes who are like “damn bro, number 12 ain’t straight”. And we can’t forget the regular coffee date . I swear to god it’s an addiction at this point. The game in Georgia isn’t as eventful as the last time we played the Netherlands but I guess it isn’t short of hearteyes. 😍

OCTOBER So anyway. Can you believe the NWSL gets canceled after the Thorns win the shield???????? This “playoff match” doesn’t actually happen. It’s true. Press just visits Portland to go mermaidingwith Tobin. (Euphemism? We may never know) So after then they fly to LA for a Sia concert because they can. But anyway, remember when we thought we got the goal celebration we deserved during that Thailand game? WRONG. Apparently the Swiss have other ideas because we’re all blessed and I’ve never felt more alive than I’ve ever felt in my life in this moment. And we almost get a repeat performance but I mean I guess it’s true lighting doesn’t strike the same place twice. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ̄ or something like that. La Blanquita goes Batista a few days later and Tobin has been established as a pretty useless maid of honor but I mean, she looks cute and her outfit repeater of a plus one (who is yet again invited to the rehearsal dinner!!!!!) looks cute too.

NOVEMBER At this rate is it even still surprising they’re practically living together? Portland Preath gets a part /something/ (because honestly who the fuck is still keeping track? Hint: not me) So Press Painting rainbows in an oversized, expensive ass Pride shirt in Tobin’s Portland kitchen is a thing thanks to Tobin’s (not Kling’s. Gotta make that clear.) very distinguishable floorboards and countertops. And apparently Press is practically a Thorn at this point, too, what with all that ball-kicking and strength training in Providence Park? Yeah. Ikr. Gross. They come to NorCal (to have coffee with a baby for practice) for the first Romania game and CYB they have chemistry on the field????? Like who woulda thunk?!?!?!?!? Also Press gets a hatty because she’s???? good???? at????? soccer????? (Also Christen brings herself sandwiches during games. Tobin doesn’t but CP ain’t selfish. If yanamsayin. Also, they’re literally married. Just thought you’d like to know.) K so anyway, boop boop, ROU part 2 aka the SoCal game becomes the perfect finish to the USWNT calendar year eSPECIALLY for the little shits because not only do we all get Blessed™ with another Preath goal, but basically Preath saves 2016 via great passes, bedroom eyes and hand holding. (PRESS SCORING AND ASSISTING IN EVERY GAME SINCE SWITZERLAND BTW????? Like, thank you, Tobin.) So no more games for the rest of the year, but that will not stop them from doing couple things because!!! They!!!! Are!!!!! Little!!!! Shits!!!!! The zenpups think so too. But anyway! It’s the return of Sunsets and Snookums in LA can you believe!!!!! There’s a romantic museum trip somewhere in the mix and some soccer on the beach too! Chris realizes then that her true passion is to be part of the circus and it’s all because of Circuit Bouldering in Portland (read: their home). Or I guess a second home because looks like Chris finally gets settled into her new house by the beach for a hot minute to enjoy rainbows before jetting off again. ✈

DECEMBER Right so Grassroot Soccer holds a gala and Christen is the guest of honor also it’s Tobin’s turn to be a plus one (and to a red carpet event at that!) in frEAKING LONDON and they’re both beautiful and I’m dead. I’m also thinking Chris is the one that scored them tickets to the Arsenal game the night before the gala because she is whipped and In LoveTM. Gross. They don’t stop there though because they think they’re sneaky Pete about watching El Clasicowith the fam (aka Allie & Bati) BUT NO!!!! You caught muthafuckas! There’s dancing in alleyways and reconnecting with old Spanish friends, too. Gross x 2 Euro trip continues in Sweden and Tobin and Christen literally sit on a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G and it’s all so scenic and romantic. Gross x 3 Well, I didn’t think they’d ever come back from their European bae-cation, but they do and it’s straight to Portland for some Christmas decorating and Tobin wins POTY to make up for this shitty year so they celebrate by getting some coffee and tacos and training - their faves. Duh. It’s kind of a quiet Christmas, celebrating with their own friends and family but I mean, it’s Pressy’s birthday. So they reunite and go hiking in LA and Christen gets a new name. Hi Kristen! 🖐

2017 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JANUARY After ringing in the New Year with skiing and kisses (probably), Chris spends time in Portland, having shakes and breakfast with the bae. They go back to LA coming out of their own little bubble because it’s January training camp season and I’m having major flashbacks with them riding together to training and being locker room buddies! Their off day is as glorious as we’d expect, with some beach time and fun. (Thanks to JJ for being a shipper.) And we’re also blessed with Allie Long and a Harry Video. After camp, they’ve got a ton of down time so it’s the perfect opportunity to go chilling by their beach house. I say “their” because there’s a stray surfboard lying around and I’m sure as hell it ain’t Christen’s. 💁

FEBRUARY The next camp for SheBelieves isn’t til later on in the month so they fly back to home number 2 aka Portland to chill and be low key, watching Tove Lo on their date night. Tobin has a little photoshoot where she's in all her sweaty glory and itty bitty shorts and Christen flies off on her own for a bit for an appearance then it’s back to Portland for a low key vday. And then camp starts up and it feels like a drought but really, we’ll take what we can get. And what we get are matching backpacks and Harry.

MARCH The SheBelieves Cup starts really well with an Allie IG takeover (which is always gold js) and we’re blessed with cameos of the lovers slash bus buddies!! And we see that age old Preath Connection that we know and love. We even get a possible date night in between!!!! The second game is a doozy but the most important takeaway is that they’re literally married. From the bus to the locker rooms, from the bench all the way to the sidelines. Married. Wives. For life. Fact. Even the Press Pack is supportive. Last game of the tourney and it was a loss. Lol. Anyway. They were trying to be sneaky and we learn that the fams are at the games together to support them. That’s it. Next. There’s a lot of debate about whether or not Tobin calls Christen “babe” because we’re all thirsty but there’s also the thing about helping Chris move to her new Chicago apartment so insert Oprah what’s the truth gif here. And then before the month ends, there’s a perfectly planned preseason tournament in Portland. Right before which Press kidnaps Tobin and escapes to LA for some hula dancing and pineapples, and then brings her back because plus ones at weddings are overrated (not). But the tourney goes on and Tobin’s not playing but she’s enjoying her box in the stands. Meanwhile, Christen just wants to say hi.

APRIL Not much really happens because they’ve suddenly gone 100% stealth mode, with Tobin injured and not able to travel and all, but thanks to a little tweet we see that on NWSL opening day there was still some sort of support aka Tobin watching the Chicago game while on the stands for the Portland home opener. It’s better than nothing right? Oh and when Chicago visits PDX for the 3rd game, Chris gets taken down and Tobin looks away because she probably can’t watch it without going apeshit idk. Same. Anyway, Chris sends smiles towards the box and I guess I’m okay with that.

MAY “what injury?!” Tobin then says as she boards a flight to Chicago after the Thorns game to bear witness to/be the reason behind the end of the drought (goals & content tbh thank you). Cyb her back died so CRS could rise? Meanwhile to pass the time though Tobs becomes Asst Director for the Thorns youth program and paints for bae. And right after their respective weekend home games, Press ies out to PDX for Tobin’s birthday shebang. Tobin picks her up from the airport and takes her to her party and everything!

JUNE A couple of friendlies abroad happen but since Tobs is injured she’s off the roster but she does somehousewarming for Chris til she gets back from practicing on babysitting Cash. So after that, getting back into the swing of things in the NWSL is easy for Chris but unfortunately Tobin still can’t play so the next best thing is staying together in ChiTown to keep the blues away for like.... 2 weeks.

JULY ...Tobin’s still injured. But at least she has some fresh shoes (and expensive sliders)! And Press spends some time in LA to keep her company at rehab. Some people thought July was gonna be the first month we don’t get any content and Press personally makes sure it isn’t during the Chi vs Orl game on lifetime.

AUGUST We have a weird Tournament of Nations and it’s probably because Tobin’s back hasn’t resurrected yet but in the last game in LA, we get a rare sighting of a stud at training so maybe we’ve still got a shot. I mean I guess 2nd place in our own tournament isn’t so bad? Kinda? But whatever. What’s important is the roller blading that happens the days after. And then it’s time for CHIvsPOR. And after that, Tobin’s back in LA hanging out with Chris’ sister and bro-in-law at a bar because you know, they’re close or whatever.

SEPTEMBER Ok so it’s been quiet but it’s not because of anything crazy. They’ve just done better at the privacy thing. Good on them you know ? But anyway. They reunite in Colorado and Cincinnati.

OCTOBER The final regular season match is conveniently in Portland and unfortunately, they end up not playing each other in the semis so Chicago has to book a flight to NC but Chris still makes sure to enjoy her time. So after the uswnt game that Tobs has to sit out, the only time we have proof that Tobin is still alive is the Century 21 event in Arizona. Meanwhile Chris is back home with her pups in LA. But Tobs flies to get in on the puppy love but we only know through her shadow and when they turn into wine moms for a night.

NOVEMBER Fall this year is coming along quite nicely but not as nice as it is in Portland, probably, because there are Trainbows, says Chris! In Canada Chris serves some gross hearteyes despite the fact that Tobin’s been sidelined due to injury. They have the last game of the year in Cali and it kickstarts the swaggin they do together. And then November ends with a bang with them posting about flying to london for a red carpet event!

DECEMBER Said red carpet event is the annual Grassroot Soccer Gala. (And this time Tobin doesn’t go ghost!) And they just wander around taking good pictures and visiting friends and watching football! Thanks HAO! Thanks Crystal! And then they’re back to being Domestic!Preath canoodling in their LA loft by the beach, chillingand hangin out with friends and being Christmassy and such.

THE FOLLOWING IS NOT FROM SKATERTOBIN'S BLOG. IT'S FROM PREATH-THINGS

DECEMBER (CONT.) Christmas rolls around, and they end up going back to their respective fams, meeting back up in Portland some days later. They spend New Years eve snowboarding and just chilling in the snow with their friends. 👌

2018 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JANUARY New Years is spent in Portland going sledding, but they eventually head back down to California so Tobin can get her ankle fixed. January camp happens without Tobin. But it's fine because Christen and Tobin spend every other moment together, watching sunsets in the rain and Tobin's having a super duper good recovery. Christen finds a new club in the NWSL, surprise! After the friendly against Denmark, they're back to spending all their time together, holding water bottles and attending conferences.

FEBRUARY Tobin has a new job ! Modelling for the new Mercurials in London, whilst also showing off her piano skills, which Christen's obviously heard before with there being a keyboard and all hanging around at their places. Tobin continues her modelling career in LA because the shoes are orange so of course she would. Christen on the other-hand pays a quick visit to houston then reports to camp. Tobin's still out and not playing soccer because remember she's still trying out her modelling career.

MARCH The SheBelieves Cup happens. Or maybe it doesn't. Debatable, considering Christen is bascially nowhere to be found on the pitch, and there's little evidence of her even being at camp. Tobin's also too busy moving from her modelling career to her acting career to be there and play. The uswnt wins the cup somehow anyway. Christen goes back to Portland after the cup and it's a bit quiet but Tobin and Christen are spending some quality time together so isn't that really all that matters? Another surprise ! Christen doesn't want to be with her new NWSL club. So she's heading to Sweden to relive some good times instead, but not before flying kites with Tobin. Tobin also paints a few things inlcuing a 9 post equality sign because she's just that extra.

APRIL Christen returns to her happy place. 🇸🇪 She signs with Kopparbergs/Göteborg FC and scores goals, lots of them. To the absolute surprise of everyone (read: no one) she's named April player of the month in the Damallsvenskan! Tobin decides to put both her modelling and acting careers on hold in an attempt to try her luck at the soccer thing again. Also, being the supportive gal pals that they are, and separated by an ocean, they get into the habit of liking each others instagram posts every so often.

MAY There are pool parties, sea dips and visits to Norway for Christen, during all of which she proves she did in fact pack Tobin's entire closet, accessories and style before she left PDX. Still separated by an ocean, not really too much happens, other than each of them continuing to practice the liking option on each others instagram posts.

JUNE It's Pride Month 🌈 and Pride Month Delivers. Tobin is called up to national team camp for the first time since forever because her ankle seems to be a-okay, and Jill remembers Christen exists all of a sudden and also calls her up. Which means the two lovebirds finally get to reunite in Utah after months of being super long distance. This officially kicks off Pride month celebrations across the globe. Tobin feels 'tight' prior to the game and decides not to join in on the first Pride month celebration of the USWNT aka the first game against China, instead opting to chill and watch the game from the stands. After Tobin sees the Utah Royals owner get down on one knee in front of her girl, she decides it's time to remind the world that Christen is her's by posting a selfie with her and her gal pal. Christen seems to like the photo too and decides to also repost it because it's pride month after all and you gotta spread the love or something. And that's not the only thing she seems to like, deciding to swap clothes with her girl for their date to the Cavs game. Chris wears Tobin's Cavs jersey, like the traitor she is because apparently whilst it might be the wrong team, it's the right number (in other words words.. the things you do for love, and to wear something with the #23). Pride month continues to deliver with the second game against China and what better way to celebrate pride month by marking the game as Christen's 100th cap?!! Oh there are better ways, says the universe or something because Christen assists a goal in the first half, Tobin enters the match in the second half, and we are blessed with a pREATH GOALl!!! or alternatively a small game of keepy uppy between the two lovebirds which ends up with a ball at the back of the net and a Preath celebration we deserve, whichever you prefer to call it. Pride camp ends, but not before Chris makes sure to just leave one last mark on her time in Cleveland. After flying off together to Chi town, they go their separate ways and Chris returns to Sweden. But it seems that Pride month has one last piece of magic to make happen, and Christen's caught up in another big tangle of a messy trade within the NWSL, which lands her in Utah. A trade she accepts. She is now officially royalty. A queen. 👑 Soon after Chris arrives at her new club, Tobin takes a quick pit stop there on her way back from Houston, because obviously she gotta help her girl settle in to her new home away from home.

JULY So it’s the Fourth of July and the new royalty/royals, Chris and Sam decide it’s a great idea to celebrate it by buying food to grill even when neither of them know how to turn on a girl grill! Stuck on how to turn on the offending cooking appliance, Chris uses a lifeline and chooses to phone a (girl)friend. Grill Master Tobin pulls through and saves the day. Not that Christen wants anyone to know that Tobin did (gotta mute those instastories, you know?), but Sam does (thanks Sam!). At the same time, Laura decides to inform the world that Christen lives in Portland (thanks Laura!). The Battle of the Baes returns to Portland for 2018 and it ends with a hug and a kiss drinks back at home. Then it's back to Utah for Chris. The Tournament of Nations happens again and it’s not as weird as the previous year’s (probably because Tobin decides to join in this time around). To prepare for the games, Christen returns home to Portland so the two lovers can visit the Nike HQ, go berry picking and dream about pies. Gotta have that pre-camp preparation and relaxation at home with your SO, you know?! The first game of the tourney is against Japan, and it ends with a W and has Tobin subbing on for Christen. There’s shoulder rubs and hip taps and some airport shenanigans. Remember how Tobin was subbed on for Chris? Chris is subbed on for Tobin in the next game against Australia! It’s now completely apparent that Jill deems having both of them playing at the same time to be just Too Dangerous for opposing teams due to their ridiculous on and off the pitch chemistry. She’s clearly just sparing the opposition from a super embarrassing defeat. Good tactic. Chris’ fam comes to say hi in Connecticut 🖐️

AUGUST The tourney continues and there’s some team pictionary bonding prior to their final ToN game against Brazil. The Brazil game ends with a Tobin goal and assist, a win and a trophy, as the uswnt finally win the tourney!!!! Also, at this stage it's questionable whether the two are trying to be sneaky or not anymore with Chris throwing literal heart eyes at Tobin at the start of the game, and Tobin putting her arm around Chris' shoulder at the end. 🤷 After the ToN it’s back to their clubs and it’s a bit quiet, but I mean as to be expected. What’s not expected however is the shenanigans that happen prior to the NT's first Chile game back in Christen’s hometown. It’s CP's 100th cap celebration, and Tobin pOSTS her girl a congratulatory post ??? Picture, profile tag, emojis and all?? If you thought the girl would stop there with her public celebration of her bae's 100th cap celebration, you'd be d e a d w r o n g. Tobito also proudly wears Christen’s name on her back ??? somewhat earlier than anyone's anticipated ??? Chris has her ceremony, and Tobin literally has the proudest smile, which you could probably see from space— and it’s debatable whether a tear escapes her eyes during the ceremony, but who could blame her if one did?? So it’s game time and we finally get the long-awaited Captain Press, and it’s everything we could’ve dreamed of!!!! Truly spectacular. Tobin gifts Christen with a PK, which she perfectly finishes because she’s Chris. But there’s a big commotion and suddenly the goal doesn’t count???? Because the ref is apparently trying to ruin Chris’s day ??? and doesn’t know the rules of soccer like at all??? Tobin won’t hear of it obvs— leading the rest of the team as they storm up towards the ref with wagging fingers and pitchforks at halftime, whilst at the same time the Press Pack is up in arms. But it’s (semi) fine in the end because Chris gets another goal anyway (it's beautiful)— capping off the perfect night and a perfect victory in the most perfect place. ❤️❤️ Talking about perfect, both Chris and Tobs are also the most perfect human beings, donating their jerseys from the game to TWLOHA.

SEPTEMBER The second game against Chile only features Tobin, but before and after the game she’s wearing a t-shirt that looks strangely like a Supreme-branded shirt with the letters P R E S S spelled out ?? Anyways it's another victory for the team, and everyone eventually heads back to their clubs for the final week of regular season. Then it's postseason time, and Chris returns to Portland to train alone 👎, whilst Tobs is off training with her club. The Thorns play their semifinal game and get the W, obvs cheered on by Chris in the stands. Weirdly enough though, the NWSL championship game for 2k18 just..... never happens ????? Super strange. (Although if it did, Chris was once again there, cheering her girl on) Anyways the season's over, and another season begins— the offseason (aka the best season) where the love birds stroll the streets of Portland (probably holding hands or something cute) and get ready for camp. Although it looks like they might've received the wrong memo about what kind of camp they had coming up— as they end up in the wilderness of Oregon.. camping? And debatably skinny dipping? Who knows?! Is there actually a bikini strap around Tobs's neck? Who knows?! What we do know is that they only packed one suitcase, Christen's gone granola, and the two eventually head on out of there once they realize they're most definitely at the wrong camp— heading off to NC for the camp they were actually meant to be at.

OCTOBER It's World Cup Qualifiers time, and Chris and Tobs score some goals, Chris has suddenly grown a dragonfly on her arm, and sometime between their last uswnt game and the qualifiers, the two nerds have created their own little handshake— because Chris wanted in on the whole handshake club (who could blame her tbh). So the uswnt qualify for the world cup (!!!!!), and the love birds go and celebrate by showing off their Spanish 101 knowledge in Mexico, and literally murdering everyone by posting photos from their beach and infinity pool photoshoots ??? Like cool, it's not like we were trying to live or anything, right ?? Nah. Oh yeah they're also not being subtle about the fact they're in literally the same place either. But you know what, subtle schmutle thinks Chris, as she posts a boomerang of Tobs and her at tees + jeans like it's like no big deal you know like, whatever. They head to pdx to stand in the fall leaves and take more photos of each other.

NOVEMBER                                                                                                        So there’s a couple USWNT friendlies abroad which Tobs and Chris don’t join in on due to personal and family commitments (respectively), but it's okay (kinda) because they instead visit an art museum together— fitting right in as the works of art that they are. Oh yeah Tobin seems to be the newest Royals signing? and she's also number 21. Tobs and Chris have a New York minuteweek— jumping into ball pits and casually posting an instastory of themselves together, because obvs it's nbd. They also spend some quality time around thanksgiving with Tobin's fam.

DECEMBER                                                                                                      The two head back west and drop by stubhub to give some inspirational pep talk to some young athletes at Nike’s, Play Like a Pro thing and also so Pressy can grand marshal the PV Christmas lights parade ! They also do some toca training, lab visiting, sunset watching, more training/testing and family photo taking. So they basically spend a whole lotta time together— training and being cute and shit ❤️️❤️. They might've headed to Florida also during this time but no one's 100% sure, and it's all a bit of guesswork and squinting. Whatever the case, they were together during most of month because offseason means, barely leaving the bae's side season, until Christmas that is— where they go their separate ways for a couple days. But then it’s Pressy’s birthday aka Christmas 2.0, so Tobs jets back to the west coast to join in on the celebrations, because obviously the best/most important present is Tobin's presence, duh. So they're finally back together in the west coast for the remaining days of 2018, and they finish the year by watching sunsets off rooftops, and preparing to see in the new year together. 💕

THE FOLLOWING IS WHEN PREATHBAR (ME) TOOK OVER.

2019  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

JANUARY It’s 2019! Tobin and Christen ring in the new year much like they ended the last one. They play some beach volleyball, To(es)bin watches some premier league, they continue training, Chris gets lost in LA, makes sure we know she’s feeding Tobin, and finally, they watch the last sunset in LAfor two weeks😂 lol. Before the fun of camp can start, they get delayed at the airport AND TOBIN ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGES CHRISTEN’S EXISTENCE. It’s fine. We’re all okay from that. (Also Tobin has some Tibetan prayer beads on?) Christen tells us you can’t mess with her zen and they eventually make it to January Camp in Portugal. Because they can’t live without a sunset, they find some (arguably better) ones on a beach in Portugal. Jan Camp finishes up and as luck would have it the whole team gets delayed this time and Tobin passes the time by playing Mario Kart. The orange and pink Kånken bags make a reappearance and of course, Tobes and Chris are airplane buddies. They arrive in Le Havre, France and everyone is still blissfully ignorant about the future events. Apparently, Tobin took a knock during camp and is held out of the first game on precaution so it is CP vs France. Literally and figuratively. The game against France goes very well, and we’re all so glad THAT game was the one on the weekend. After that *ahem* rough, game it’s time to move on and the team makes their way to Alicante, Spain where Tobes and Chris enjoy a day out and about. Tobin seems to have recovered and gets a start against Spain, CP doesn’t, but after a 0-0 first half, Jill decides to sub her in and SHE SCORES A FREAKING (GAMEWINNING) GOAL. The wives only get to play together for 20ish minutes, but we are treated to plenty of Preath content during and after the game. First, there’s the goal celebration that includes a Tobes head pat and a wink from the one and only Christen Press 😉. At halftime, there’s some hand holding glove holding, but after the game we witnessed a to a PreathTackle™ via Tobin Heath. She’s just so proud of her girl she can hardly contain her emotions (and we can’t either 😭). They return to LA after the madness in Europe just in time to catch a sunrise. 

FEBRUARY So very early on into the month, Tobin literally comes out of the blue with her “The Ones” interview while promoting the new Air Jordans, and let me tell you, the photos were anything but chill. The go on a little daytime date 💙 and Christen shows off her many rings. After that, Christen decides to prove that Tobin’s not the only model in the family and hits us with the behind-the-scenes of her photoshoot with localemagazine. Stay tuned until May for our Covergirl. Shortly, our family of models decides to return to their day jobs and attend camp in Tampa, FL for the She Believes Cup. They can’t help but be attached at the hip while they’re there (and we’re not complaining).  The team makes their way to Philly and Tobin, Chris, and Ash go on a little stroll where Preath proves, yet again, that they exist in the same universe. USWNT vs Japan is first up and again, Christen comes off the bench and makes an immediate impact with an assist, giving the US the lead. She also gets smacked in the face but it's okay because Tobes makes sure to check up on her. We also definitely win the game and don’t waste all that work CP did by letting them tie it up.

MARCH After the performance against Japan, the team sets their sights to England at camp. To celebrate the “SheBelieves spirit” they all wear the name of an inspirational woman of their choosing on their backs. Christen chooses the unproblematic fave of Sojourner Truth and Tobin chooses Doris Burke, who was very moved by the gesture. Before the game, Christen gives Tobin her stick of gum bc CP still isn’t starting. Unfortunately, the team seems to play as if they are the names on their back and tie. AGAIN. Maybe it was just the cold because Tobes and Chris almost miss the plane back to sunny Florida, but after quickly boarding the gayng gets to sit together. With one more game left, it looks almost impossible for the US to win the tournament, AND WE DON’T, but we manage to win our last game 1-0 with a goal by the one and only Tobin Heath. Unfortunately, it’s now Chris’ turn to make sure Tobin is okay after a hard foul. Before we take a break from the USWNT for a little while, the World Cup kits are announced with a plethora of promotion. Tobin and Christen both return to their club teams and Tobin does some more promotion for the Thorn’s new kits and sixstar. Christen returns to LA to play some preseason games with Utah and while she’s there she is reunited with Morena and Khalessi. CP is announced as the honorary falconer for the LAFC game and reminds us that if the animal isn’t a dog, she’s slightly intimidated. Tobin also plays a preseason game for Portland and apparently tears it up, but her time with the Thorns is cut short when they both re-port for camp and are re-united for the April Friendlies.

APRIL Camp slowly starts to wind down as the upcoming friendlies draw closer, but not before some exciting news. LUNA Bar announces on equal payday that they will cover the World Cup roster bonus pay gap for the entire US Women’s National Team! It is revealed that Christen was one of the “chief architects of the team’s current collective bargaining agreement” and she reminds us how smart and beautiful she is in several different interviews. Then, we are provided with an amazing picture that only confirms that Tobin and Christen are bus buddies (in case we somehow forgot). Press is not only smart and beautiful, but she’s also talented at this game of soccer and helps the team win over Australia in an overly dramatic sort-of way. Tobin notches a goal over Australia, but she doesn’t get any minutes against Belgium. CP, however, plays a full 90 minutes and provides 3 assists off of set pieces!!! Nobody seems to notice though. After two successful friendlies with the National Team, they return to play their first (and last for awhile) games for their NWSL teams. Tobin earns POTY with the Portland Thorns and later, an absolutely wild game is played against Chicago. Meanwhile, Press proves what a class act she is in Utah and notches an assist in her first game and then a goal in the second. Just as they start to settle in, we all sadly realize they have to leave their club teams, even though we STILL don’t have a WC roster, but we do get a bunch of amazing gifs. After her game in Orlando, Christen stays a while in Miami where she shows us her coconuts and does lots of promo before we finally get the announcement we were all patiently waiting for. HuLU hAS LivE spOrTS!

MAY On the first of the month, Tobes and Chris are spotted at the Hulu Upfronts with several other soccer players, looking as gorgeous as ever. Eventually, after virtually the entire roster being known beforehand, USsoccer drops the 2019 Women’s World Cup Roster and Tobin Heath is going to her third World Cup while Christen Press is going to her second, but they’re doing it together this time. With the announcement of the roster, everyone heads to camp before the last of the send-off series games. (Oh and also there’s an incident with Tobin in a button up and her shoulder but whatever. It’s fine.) Remember that “re-” thing Tobin, Christen, Pinoe, and Kling kept teasing/we thought it was an inside joke? Well, it turns Rɘ-inc is an entire company the ladies are starting and they strive to rɘ-imagine rɘ-invent rɘ-configure, and rɘ-volt (to name a few). They are set to launch June 2017 2019 and we can only hope to be blessed with more photos of Tobin wearing... boxers? The first friendly is played against South Africa, and Tobin and Chris actually get to start together, but still, a preath-goal alluded them the entire game. Do you remember back in February when we saw the behind-the-scenes of CP’s shoot with localemagzine? Well now it’s May and Christen is officially a cover girl and I swear they’re all trying to kill us before the World Cup because no one should be allowed to look that hot, but it's Christen so why are we surprised? The penultimate send-off game against New Zealand goes off with little fan-fare (but the girls do notch goals and/or assists). The team seems to have the weekend off before playing their last game and of course, Tobin and Christen return to Portland and decide to watch the Blazers play the Warriors in the Conference finals. How do we know they were at the game? I mean, other than the fact the CP posted a story on Instagram about Nike making Tobes’ dreams come true you could LITERALLY SEE THEM ON LIVE TV BC THEY HAD SECOND ROW FLOOR SEATS BEHIND THE BENCH. Let’s just say we all suddenly cared a lot about basketball that night. A few days later the USWNT heads to New York, is surprised in time square (where T&C are bus buddies, duh), attends GMA, and has Media Day at Twitter’s headquarters. It was a content overload. We never get a break either because few days after that they play their last send-off series game against Mexico and guess what; Tobin and Christen BOTH SCORE (goals)!!! Most would think that having an afternoon game means that the rest of the day is for relaxing and recovery… well, you’d be wrong. Apparently, it’s time for the launch party of Rɘ-Inc and Christen is wearing a Suit. I repeat a Suit at the party and Tobin is wearing a black dress. They both looked absolutely incredible. Rɘ-inc provides us with a lot of amazing content throughout the month. It’s a quick turn around again and the NT now makes their way to London for their final training before the World Cup starts. It’s also Tobin’s 31st birthday and we all hoped and prayed that Christen would post something for it and luckily, she didn’t disappoint.

JUNE It’s officially World Cup Time, but not before a little camp and because the US plays last there’s still time for them to release their 23 stories even after the tournament has officially started. And since we’ve got the time, ESPN announces that Tobin Heath will be profiled on their next E60 special. Tobin finally opens up about… playing soccer… and also her family. In the end, the whole interview makes us love Aunty To-To even more (if that’s even possible) and the unredacted interviews in a podcast are definitely worth the listen. As the last game of the first round of group stage games commences, the USA finally gets their chance to shine, and in a historic 13-0 win against Thailand, boy do they make a controversial statement. Christen notches an assist after she’s subbed in for Tobin because they would be too powerful together on the field. After a few days of rest (and being caught on a live stream with their arms around each other), they play their next game against Chile and while they don’t win 13-0 (which is mostly because Christen gets denied so many times) 3-0 qualifies them for the round of 16. Next up is Sweden and they win 2-0 where Tobin even scores a goal! (Fifa says it’s an own goal but there are lots of things we don’t like about Fifa). Getting first in the group means Spain is our Round of 16 opponent and after a bit of suffering, and Christen’s 2 whole minutes of play time, we win 2-1. Then, it was time for the most anticipated match of the World Cup. A quarterfinal between the USA and France in Paris. SPOILER ALERT: WE WON MOTHERFUCKERS and we even got an adorable hug afterward. Tobin scored ANOTHER GOAL but Fifa is plotting against her and it was called offsides. Now a semifinal versus England awaits.

JULY So… I don’t even know where to begin with this absolutely crazy month. All I can say is... you’re not ready. Guess what! Christen got the start against England and silenced all her skeptics in the 10th minute when she scored a beautiful header! After falling to the ground in pure emotion, Tobin basically nuzzled her head into Chris’s neck in celebration and it was an absolutely beautiful moment for many reasons. The US went on to win and the final would be the USWNT vs the Netherlands. After waiting a little longer to score than usual, THE UNITED STATES WOMEN’S NATIONAL SOCCER TEAM WAS BACK TO BACK, 4-TIME, WORLD CUP CHAMPIONS!!!! TOBIN HEATH AND CHRISTEN PRESS ARE TWO TIME WORLD CUP CHAMPIONS! Tobin ran straight to Christen after the final whistle because they did it together this time. That’s not all though, during the trophy presentation, in the midst of everyone else’s celebration, Tobin looked and Christen and Christen looked at Tobin and they hugged and basically recreated the iconic photo from 4 years ago and I’M STILL NOT OVER IT AND I WILL NEVER BE AND YOU SHOULDN’T BE EITHER. THEN, after ALL of that, T&C decided to go lay in the confetti together and Christen adorably let Tobin throw confetti all over her and I STILL CAN’T. Not to even MENTION the baby Tobin collected and showed to Chris because they’re so domestic™ before Chris decided to adjust Tobin’s medal because they’re also soft™. The real celebration began afterward in the locker room and a lot of alcohol was consumed, but all Chris was worried about was keeping her hair dry with a little blue towel. The next day, after a transatlantic flight and us wondering how they’re going to survive, the team arrived in New York City and the party's just getting started because the day after that the entire team is a guest on Good Morning America. We’re not done yet because the NEXT morning a ticker tape parade through the Canyon of Heroes awaits them (don’t worry, they were on the same float) before a cross-continental flight to LA just in time for the ESPYS (Tobin is apparently dragged, but it was fun). Tobin looks way too damn good in christen’s her v-neck suit, even though her shoe/sunglasses choice was questionable. Christen blessed us with a yellow v-neck suit and both girls were truly “stuntin” on us. THEN THE DAY WE F U C K I N G DIED!!! I’m not even joking. It started out innocent enough (which it really wasn’t but whatever). Christen posted of photo of JUST them together on the float and captioned it “blissful and grateful”. It was already more than we asked for but THEN she started posting pictures of JUST them at the ESPYS on her story and by this point we were already not OKAY. THEN Tobin decided she wasn’t PLAYING AROUND and posted pictures of JUST them on the red carpet and THEN THAT FUCKING VIDEO. T H E STORY TO END ALL INSTA STORIES. What was the video, you ask? Well, what are the New Chicago Bulls Fire J1s… from Travis Scott? Did you see them? How did she get those they’re not even released yet? Watch at your own risk. Finally, both girls decide to decompress and took mini vacay to Los Cabos because why not, you’re world cup champions, and after re-freshing they both fly home to Portland. Of course,their first game back in the NWSL is against each other because only the most chaotic energy is allowed this month. Christen scores the eventual GOTW but the game ends in a tie. Not to worry though because the next week Tobin notches two beautiful assists in the homecoming game against Houston and Christen produces another beautiful GOTW in a game that Tobin attends wearing while wearing a #23 snapback. They really refuse to be separated for more than a few days. Then, as it turns out, they both head back to Portland proving that Tobin’s excursion to Utah really was extra™ and we can only hope we’ll never come down from this content high.

AUGUST Just when we thought we were spoiled by world cup content, the girls decided they’re not done yet and we’re blessed with a TC goal during the first of the Victory Tour games versus Republic of Ireland (foreshadowing: it’s not the first of the month). Christen serves a lovely ball right to Tobin’s head and they were sure to hug adorably in celebration. Before heading back to their clubs, Re-inc hosts an event called ResetTheTable, which is basically a dinner party filled with beautiful people (in body and mind). After returning to Utah Christen scores a brace in a midweek game and helps win another so NWSL rightfully makes her Player of the Week. Then, CP heads to NYC to appear on morning talk shows to educate us about the USWNT lawsuit while looking absolutely stunning. In their last club games before international break, Christen gets another goal, and wins GOTW for the third time, and Tobin’s assists continue to grow (it probably helps that Chris goes to watch her). Their travel has been extra™ this month but it’s what you do for love. Finally, they both head to Philly for campbefore playing against Portugal and we get ANOTHER TC GOAL. Christen is getting really good at assisting Tobes.

SEPTEMBER The second round of victory tour games conclude at the beginning of the month, but Tobes and Chris are pretty adorable at open training before their second win over Portugal. Oh, Christen gets another assist so her total for 2019 is up to… 11! (that’s the leader of the national team). Then, it’s time for Battle of the Baes 2.0 and this time Christen comes out on top. Tobin ends up winning GOTW on week 23… hmm… and the Thorns clinch a playoff spot. Unfortunately, even with Christen’s header, Utah misses out again.

OCTOBER After celebrating their 2019 Women’s World Cup win one more time, the victory tour games conclude in with a pair of games against South Korea. The first one is pretty uneventful, and so is the second (except for the sendoff). Tobin and Chris return to their clubs to play their last nwsl games of the season and the Thorns move on to the postseason. They face Chicago first and find themselves out of the championship game. However, Chris doesn’t seem to mind and makes her way to Portland pretty soon after. Something with re-inc seems to be brewing, but the end of the month marks the beginning of the offseason (after they play two friendlies in November, of course).

NOVEMBER The girls report to camp for the final time this year and everyone seems to be ready for the end of quite an incredible year but also new beginnings with a new coach. Christen and Tobin get a start against Sweden and Christen records another assist and her 50TH INTERNATIONAL GOAL!!! (Tobin may or may not fall to her knees again but that’s not important). Then, we get a TC hug and Tobin gets an assist of her own. Even after playing a game in freezing temperatures they still manage to both look adorably bundled after. The next game is even more fun than the first because Christen scores ANOTHER GOAL and we get ANOTHER TC HUG and to cap it all off we get CAPTAIN TOBIN. That’s right, CAPTAIN TOBIN (we almost got captain Christen but it’s okay). We were just barely coming down from that emotional high when the next night Pinoe brings the entire Gayng to the Glamour Awards. Tobin and Christen had a black and white moment and all I’m saying is they looked the best dressed. Re-inc launched their RWB collection and Tobin was the designer while Christen was a model. Then, Tobin decided to also be a model but in… Africa? That’s right, T and C went to South Africa for Grass Roots Soccer and they also enjoyed a safari or two before heading to London for the GRS Gala. Christen looked absolutely stunning (as always) at the event and there was no doubt that Tobin was there to support her. The holiday season has begun and at the end of the month, the girls went their separate ways to spend Thanksgiving with their families. The break was much needed and I’m sure they’re looking forward to an entire month off.

DECEMBER Tobin and Christen enjoyed their month off by staying pretty quiet, but they did enjoy a snowy vacation towards the end of the month. Then, it was Christmas time and it seemed like a lot of gifts were from Tobin + Christen. Before CP’s bday could happen, they had to attend the WoSo Royal Wedding. They both looked stunning and it was just an unbelievable night in general. Finally, Christen celebrated her 31st birthday right before the decade came to an end. What a truly amazing year.

2020

JANUARY It’s the beginning of a new year and the end of the offseason, but it was still pretty quiet until the very end of the month. January Camp in Florida began in the middle of the month and didn’t stop for the 20 players named to the Olympic Qualifying roster. Obviously Tobin and Christen were and the team relocated to Texas to prepare for their group stage games of Olympic Qualifying.(Also re inc had another reset the table event). Christen started the first game against Haiti and scored a goal in the 2nd minute… talk about starting the year off with a bang. CP was also named the player of the match and she honestly seemed like she was the only one who wasn’t shaking off the rust. Unfortunately, Tobin missed out on the first game due to a slight strain but she was back in action against Panama. She even scored a no-look goal and didn’t think we would notice. Christen also added to her goal total and has now scored in 4 straight games. With two wins in their group the USWNT has secured their spot in the semifinals and are one step closer to qualifying for the Olympics.

FEBRUARY Olympic Qualifying carried over into February and so did Christen’s goal scoring. CP scored two goals in the USWNT’s last group stage game against Costa Rica. The first goal she scored that game was an absolute banger and was eventually named the goal of the tournament. Also, Christen was named player of the match for the SECOND TIME of the tournament. The goal-scoring didn’t stop because she scored another banger against Mexico after jumping on her own rebound. There was no way that ball wasn’t going in the back of the net. After all of this scoring and player of the match wins Christen was rightfully named best player of the entire CONCACAF tournament. She was absolutely glowing with her golden ball trophy before she gave it to her father (who was more than appreciative). Tobin was also feeling generous and gave her first place medal to a fan in the crowd (I guess that’s allowed?). After successfully qualifying for the olympics and remaining reigning CONCACAF champions, everyone had a slight break before training for the She Believes Cup began. Tobin and Christen were named to the roster, but before training could begin the gals had a photoshoot in the brand new olympic kits. I’m not saying Christen decided to debut her new engaygment ring at said photoshoot but I’m not not saying that. (Good job Tobin ;) ) It’s definitely not the offseason anymore and on February 29th, we were all leaping for joy that training camp had resumed in Florida.

MARCH The whole gayng got to be aunties to Cassius in Florida during camp and apparently it was good luck because the USWNT won their first game in the She Believes Cup against England. It was definitely thanks to Christen’s absolute GOLAZO (the only thing she’s allowed to score against England). CHRISTEN PRESS what have you DONE. The USWNT didn’t stop and neither did Christen because in the next gain against Spain she assisted the winning goal in the 86th minute off a free kick. Christen and Tobin BOTH started against Japan and Christen was even at the number nine spot. Brownsuganumba9 lives on. It must’ve been an amazing position for her (who knew) because she scored another GOLAZO against Japan. It chipped the keeper and it was honestly filthy. CHRISTEN PRESS what did you DO. The USWNT won the She Believes Cup, but are still fighting the equal pay lawsuit against ussoccer. During the warm up of the final game of the tournament they all wore jerseys inside out to display the now iconic symbol of four stars with a blank crest. They’re in this together. Just as the USWNT played their last game, the entire world entered a quarantine. Everyone went home and it’s unclear when anyone will return to the field for club or country. However, in the midst of quarantine, there was a Surprise: Snow Storm! and Re-inc launched their posters. It has also allowed CEO Christen and the rest of the Re-inc team to start doing instagram lives in order to interact with fans. We’re in this together.

APRIL This month began like the last one ended, still in quarantine, but that didn’t stop Re-inc from launching their BW capsule collection, but before that an absolutely INCREDIBLE photo was taken and it's pretty much the only major thing that happened this month. Thank you Miss Tobin Heath. However, all of the re-inc founders have been a lot more active on the account (probably because soccer is momentarily paused for right now). Christen found a Stacy plant and remembrance candle along with other plants for the rest of her fam. Tobin and Christen are most definitely quarantining in Portland together and will be for a while.

[dippedanddripped]

A Q&A With Keary Kase On Pioneering Hip Hop In Portland

Trenton, NJ born rapper Keary Kase is now pioneering hip hop from Portland, Oregon. After having been involved in a Nike ad campaign that featured him on Billboards across the US, Keary’s singles began to top the radio charts. He began to work with artists like The Wutang Clan and producers Bosko and Non-Stop Da Hitman. Most recently, he partnered with Adidas designers in Portland to develop ‘Reder’ – an athletic apparel brand with focus on CBD delivery systems for athletes who are recovering from injuries.

We had the chance to sit down with Keary Kase to talk about Portland’s thriving hip hop scene, his Nike campaign, and what fans and followers can expect in 2020.

Tell us a little bit about the hip hop scene in Portland. We’d love to know more!

Portland hip hop has so many facets, I’m not sure where to begin. We do have a solid foundation of originals, like Mic Crenshaw, Cool Nutz, Mellenium (Kenny Mack), Maniac Lok, Bosko, Vursatyl, X-Kid, DJ Wicked, Pete Miser and myself, who are still active.

Having strong artists, who have made careers in Hip Hop, as role models and idols allows the kids to aspire to become musical artists. Without these examples, the endless call to normalcy and job security (which we all now know is B/S) by pretty much EVERYBODY, would lead these young Ore-guns to self doubt and failure.

Mike Capes, Swiggle Mandela, Drae Steve’s, JR Patton and Keith Canvas are a few Portland artists to check out.

Right now, a lot of artists are showing support to the BLM movement using their voices to speak, rather than rap to those participating in protests, rallies and such.

How do you feel being originally from the east coast has affected your musical style?

In my embryonic years, I saw myself as an east coast rapper. I felt like, with the exception of rappers like Ice T, Too Short, NWA and The DOC, west coast rappers were mostly basic compared to east coast rappers. They had KRS, Big Daddy Kane, Slick Rick (my favorite golden era rapper), Special ED, Kool G Rap & Polo, RAKIM!!! Plus WBLS used to play all the hot new shit off the block.

I was enamored by east coast swagger and tone. The slang and accent was natural for me because my entire family spoke with it. My ability to slip in and out of the style made me different in Portland.

In the early 90’s I started spending time in LA. I was slanging FIMO beads to tourists at Venice Beach in the daylight and going to clubs and shows at night. I met this dude named Self Jupiter at this summer festival called The African Marketplace, where I was selling jewelry and celebrating my black youth. Jupiter was a member of a rap group called Freestyle Fellowship. He gave me a tape. After I listened to it, my entire opinion of west coast hip hop was turned upside down. I witnessed west coast rappers like Volume 10, WC, Divine Styler, Cypress Hill and E40 change the game. I became influenced by them and my style was set free. I became open to all influences, no matter if they came from the east, west, northwest, midwest or south.

Tell us more about the Nike ad campaign you were featured in. How did that come about?

One day I was leaving my boy Tommy Hestmark’s studio in downtown Portland. I was walking down the street with my back straight and my chest and chin up, as all men and women should. This guy approached me and said “excuse me, can I talk to you?” I looked at him sideways and he says “no, no. It’s just…. Your face is CRAZY!” I squinted as if to say “do you hear yourself fool?” He pulls out a card and explains that he owned a modeling agency and he thought my look was money. He asked me to call to schedule a test shoot. I called and scheduled the shoot. When I went there, he asked me if I was wearing boxers. I confirmed, then he asked me if I would take some test shots in my boxers. I’m thinking this dude is either going to proposition me for sex or he wants to see if I can be the next face of Calvin Klein. I gambled on Calvin Klein and agreed to take the pics. We walked into a hall and he said “you can get undressed here,” then walked away. So there I stood baring all that my boxers would not cover, with my clothes in a small pile on the floor. I heard footsteps, then an attractive woman appears holding a camera. It was his wife. She told me where to stand , took a couple quick pics and said “Keary, you’re a machine,” then allowed me to get dressed and walked me out.

A few weeks later they called me back and said a photographer knew of me and wanted to do a martial arts shoot. There was no pay, but the photographer was well known and really good. I had no portfolio, and no published work so this was an opportunity to do TFP to add to my comp card.

The photographer, Marcus Swanson, wanted me to do a flying sidekick, which is a classic taekwondo photo kick. When I got there, there was nowhere to get a running start so I improvised and pulled it off. While I was there, a Nike scout was lurking. As I was leaving, Marcus’ assistant, Amber Geiger, mentioned a potential shoot for Nike and asked if they could do a quick polaroid. Snap snap and I was out. A few months passed by before I got a call back from my agent about the shoot. In those few months, I became a black belt, won a gold medal at the the regional national qualification tournament in the black belt dividion, then a silver medal at the US National Championship, and was leaving in a few days to go whoop everybody’s ass at the invitational US Team Trials. It didn’t play out that way but I believe being so active in the few months between the martial arts test shoot and the paid shoot is what influenced their decision to go with me for the ad campaign. We agreed on a date and time, after my return, for the shoot.

When I got back, we did the shoot. I thought it was going to be light work but it was brutal. Modeling is hardcore. I remember seeing myself on a billboard for the first time. It felt like a distant relative to masturbation. I also remember it taking forever to get my money. Agencies can be gangster. I had to make some very firm promises before I got the check. After that, our relationship became square.

You have worked with several platinum artists and producers. Do you have any memorable stories about your experiences that you’d like to share?

Hmm. I don’t like to deride or D-RIDE anyone, but there was an interesting encounter with a Wu-Tang Clan member named Cappadonna. Cappadonna, Killa Priest and a small crew they were touring with were staying at my house when they stopped through Portland. My roommate, MyG,  was helping them do some business in Portland while they killed time before their next tour date. At the time, we had a lil 5 bedroom spread with 2 recording studios in it, so we let their whole crew crash at the spot. The house was already like a revolving door for whoever was on tour in the NW. Artists could come through while in town and collab, get local pub through us and be blessed with some Oregon grown greeneries for the road.

So this was the first time we met (Cappadonna & I). I was taking acting classes at the time so I was gone when they pulled up. When I got home after class, Cappadonna was in the booth. I walked in the room and he started talking wild like “aye yo break that nigga watch!…stab that nigga!” I’m standing in a room full of dudes, with New York energy, that I don’t know, so I assumed he was talking about me. I dip out to my room and get a screwdriver just so I have something in my hand incase things go left. A few minutes pass, then MyG tells Cappadonna to move on to the next part. At this moment I realize he’s in character and not talking about me at all. Killah Priest enters the room. We introduce ourselves and dap up. He asks me what I do and I tell him that I’m in acting school. When Cap comes out, KP says “this is Kase, he’s an actor.” They gave each other a look that, to me , expressed what he spoke as “this is Kase, he’s a fake nigga.”

Granted, I’ve been a skater since day 1, so I understand that some black people (especially at the time) associate being a black skater with being less black or more white. With that in mind, I let what he said breeze by.

After we blessed up, we got to the business. Bosko had let me hold a beat that I wrote a sticky verse to; Cappa liked it so I let him put a hook on it. Me and KP did a DOPE song on a track that this dude named Smoke produced. It sounded like some official Wu-affiliate shit. MyG lost the session so none of that material was ever released.

The next day the energy still felt suspect. Like they thought I was a suburban negro, lol. I took them to the block, which is now gentrified, but was still hood at the time. Cappa called my whip a 666. It was the same Denali XL with the same 26” Trump Spinners that was in the video for the song he was promoting at the time, but mine was cleaner. It seemed like he felt a way about it. We went to my mom’s restaurant, where Cappa requested a Psalms verse from my mother. She said “how about a Revelation,” and laced all of us.

I dropped them at the barber shop to get faded and bladed. When they came out, the energy was different. Cappadonna got in and said “you know your hood and your hood knows you. He said you put your moms in that restaurant, didn’t you?” I just looked at him and put my hand out. We dapped up and the respect, which was first being given by me and received by him, suddenly felt mutual.

Cappadonna is a wise dude and a beast MC. I asked him questions related to his lyrics. He explained to me what “God Degree” and “7:30” meant and told me the story of the origin of his name. You might be able to detect that I’m most definitely still a Wu-Tang fan, although I liked his earlier work. KP knows what I mean by that.

Tell us about your involvement with the CBD industry and your views on how it can be a therapeutic tool for people?

CBD is my go-to treatment for a number of conditions. If I am anxious, I use a non-psychoactive tincture. This gives me a general sense of well-being, without making me feel altered or high. I feel like myself on a good day. If I need to restful sleep, I employ a cannabinoid rich CBD blend that allows me to drift off into REM without jumping up 100 times to make sure the garage door is closed (or whatever). Using CBD is like taking premium vitamins.

In 2019, I started a company called Nina Botanica with a material designer who works for Adidas in Portland. I began researching how to use compression technology as a CBD delivery system for athletic injury rehabilitation. There are some products on the market that offer a similar product, but none that fully address the issues of muscle strains, tears and associated pain that can knock an athlete off of their game. What sets us apart is, our CBD compression system has a lifetime guarantee. You can use it until you’re tired of using it.

We also designed a pod based delivery system, called the NINA , with Shenzen based technology company Smoore. The smart hexagonal pod + cartridge system uses inductive charging in place of the industry standard USB to power up.

Due to COVID-19 and our current bout with systemic racism, the techy products will be in preliminary production until mid-late 2021.

Tell us about your latest project “Craze”. Who is involved and what inspired it?

I was a week back on after being off music for years. Just getting my lungs back, not planning on dropping anything yet; just warming up. An artist named Uneek, who had been my mentee for several years, reached out. He was talking about how he blew all of his savings on medical expenses for his seed and how William, Lil Willi and Big Bill were all coming for him at once. He had just got robbed in Atlanta, so he was shy about who he could trust in Portland.

Uneek asked me to help him to rebrand himself and act as a manager, as I did in the beginning of his career. Since he had just found the strength to come out about his sexual identity, he wanted to look to the LBGTQ community for support. Since that was outside of my sphere of influence, I decided to help him generate some traffic in his home studio, offering tracking and mixing as an engineer. I told him we could put out a mixtape to re-introduce him to his followers and the rest of the world. I got 15 tracks from  producers, Sixteen and J Doe. I wanted to see how serious he was about his career so I told him to put hooks on  all 15. He would send me a rough lyric or melody, then I would write or rewrite the lyrics then massage the melody and coach him on how to execute it.  After he did it, I would chop it and arrange it in a Logic, while I was on the road.

Once the mixtape concepts were in the bag, I told him we needed a real record to kick it off. There was a lot of material in his catalog, but nothing that sounded like a hit single to me.

He got a track from this lil dude named 64 and put a hook on it that had us laughing. He was like “yeah this track sound like something Da Baby would get on.” It wasn’t my style, really, but I kept getting drawn into the drums. I let the first line go off the top then it seemed like the rest of the lyrics were just there. We called it “She A Thot.” It dropped on all platforms back in April of this year.

Craze, the follow up single, manifested itself off of the vibe we were on after “She A Thot” dropped. 64 had sent us a 3 pack of beats so it had some of the same feel as the others, however, the “Craze” beat was much more elegant than the other two.It was like the bigger, sexier, more mature and pondering sister of the “She A Thot” beat.

When I started writing, I felt the beat asking me to confess. It was saying “tell your truth, Kase.” The melody in my head was so balanced that I just let it drive through the first verse. I remembered, as a young man, being so caught up in hustling that I lost my compassion for people. I reflected on how I had spent the last decade, since my first daughter was born, re-approaching life with more compassion.

Whatever you have done in your past does not define you. But sometimes it’s good to talk about it. Black  people have traditionally been afraid of counseling or therapy. Mostly because of our trust issues with the people providing those services. I strongly suggest talking to someone about the things that trouble you. My uncle Jeff calls it “dumping.”

Music is my therapy. Dumping is my new craze.

What artists are you listening to right now and why?

I like listening to new music. I’m listening to Lil Durk, Pop Smoke, Amine, Jack Harlow, etc. But that’s like research for me. I like to see and hear what the big dogs are investing in. But right now, I’m developing a K-Pop artist, so I’m listening Big Hit Entertainment’s people. I’m about to go over there and liberate some musical slaves. (*artists)

But I still listen to Sade.

What’s next for you in 2020? What can fans look forward to?

I’m dropping a mixtape later this month. I may be doing a record + video with Compton artist, AD in the next few weeks. We’re still working out the details, but he’s doing real good right now.

Other than that, I’m developing a young K-Pop idol named Kiari. That genre is making big waves. I’m also looking at television as a next play. I have a pocket ace in the Chinese market that I’m keeping tucked. Oh I’m doing business with China.  Sorry Chump…I mean, Sorry Trump. No, wait, I had it right the first time.

[creepingsharia]

The 9/11 Hijackers Last Steps – A Timeline

9/10/01—At the Pink Pony Nude Theater in Daytona Beach, FL, a man with a Middle-Eastern accent says “Tomorrow America will see bloodshed.” They leave a Koran behind...

(originally posted on Creeping Sharia on September 10, 2009)

Know your enemy, and never under-estimate him.

We pick up the timeline of the 9/11 terrorists, and hijackers to-be, from the assassination of Northern Alliance commander Ahmed Massoud on Sep. 9, 2001 – however the timeline begins well prior to that in the 1990’s and goes further than what we posted here. Excerpts from Free Republic.

Annotated Timeline of the 9/11 Hijackers for Researchers

various | 5/13/2002 | compiled from published sources

“We love death. The US loves life. That is the big difference between us.”  — Osama Bin Laden

THE HIJACKERS FLIGHT 11 Mohammed ATTA (11) (also known as Mohammed al-Amir) Born September 1, 1968 in Kafr al Sheikh, Egypt. ATTA grows up in Cairo with his middle-class family. Abdulaziz ALOMARI (11) Saudi Arabian. Little is known about him. Walid AL-SHEHRI (11) From Khamis Mushayt in Saudi Arabia. Former teacher, who left his job allegedly to consult an Islamic holy man about his brother’s mental illness. Satam AL-SUQAMI (11) Born June 28, 1976. Saudi Arabian. Islamic-law-school student at King Fahd University in Riyadh. College roommate of MOQED. Wail ALSHEHRI (11) Born 7/31/73. Brother of Walid. Former phys-ed teacher who left his job because of “mental illness.”

FLIGHT 175 Marwan AL-SHEHHI (175) Born in United Arab Emirates on 5/9/78. Hamza ALGHAMDI(175) Born 11/18/80. From Beljurashi in southern Saudi Arabia. Was working in a “humiliating” job as a stockboy in a housewares shop when he was recruited for the jihad. Ahmed ALGHAMDI(175) From Beljurashi in southern Saudi Arabia. Fayez Rashid Ahmed Hassan Al-Qadi BANIHAMMAD (175-4) (aka Fayez Ahmed) Citizen of United Arab Republic. Mohand ALSHEHRI (175) Former student at the Imam Muhammed Ibn Saud Islamic University in Abha, Saudi Arabia for one semester.

FLIGHT 77 Hani HANJOUR (77)– Saudi Arabian Born August 13, 1972. Son of a wealthy businessman from the wealthy al-Faisaliyah section of Taif. Khalid ALMIDHAR (77) Saudi Arabian. Veteran Al-Qaeda operative about whom little is known. Majed MOQED (77) Saudi Arabian. Law student at the King Fahd University in Riyadh. The son of a head of the Baniauf tribe from Annakhil near Medina. Sometimes listed as the third “logistics” person after ALMIDHAR and Nawaq ALHAZMI. Nawaq ALHAZMI (77) “He told me once that his father had tried to kill him when he was a child. He never told me why, but he had a long knife scar on his forearm,” said an acquaintance. Brother of a police chief in the coastal town of Jizan. Salem ALHAZMI (77) Saudi.

FLIGHT 93 Ziad al-JARRAH (93) Born in Al Marj, Lebanon May 11, 1975. The son of a civil servant and a schoolteacher. Educated in a Catholic school in Beirut. Ahmed ALNAMI (93) Born December 1977. Saudi, from the town of Abha. Former law student at the King Khaled University Islamic Law School in Abha. Ahmed Ibrahim AL-HAZNAWI (93) Born October 11, 1980. Saudi from the village of Hezna. Son of an imam, and reportedly became one himself. Close to Hamza and Ahmed ALGHAMDI. Saeed ALGHAMDI (93) Saudi, from Khamis Mushayt.

September 9, 2001—Northern Alliance commander Ahmed Shah Massoud is assassinated by two al-Qaeda operatives pretending to be Arab journalists.

September 9, 2001—Foreign intelligence officials intercept a telephone call on between Osama bin Laden and his adoptive mother Al-Kalifa in Syria, according to a report by NBC. “In two days, you’re going to hear big news, and you’re not going to hear from me for a while,” says bin Laden. AJC 10/2/01 Link

September 9, 2001—The owner, Richard Surma, notices that AL-SHEHHI, another tenant, (AHMED/BANIHAMMAD, presumably) and one other visitor who was constantly with them, have left the Panther Motel. AL-SHEHHI shaves his goatee before he departs, leaving only a mustache. AL-SHEHHI then returns the rental Corsica to Warrick’s for good., with an additional 1,035 miles on it. Link AL-SHEHHI flies to Boston. After they leave, owner Surma, cleaning out the rooms at the Panther, finds a tote bag in the trash. It is packed with aeronautical maps of the entire East Coast, martial arts books, a protractor, an English-German dictionary, Boeing 757 flight manuals, books from a flight school, and computer printouts with a detailed list of airline flights and times. A maid, cleaning the room, finds a box cutter. –Chicago Tribune 9/17/01

In Boston, AL-SHEHHI rents the room next to AHMED/BANIHAMMAD at the Milner. He makes a call from the room to Western Union, which authorities believe was one final attempt to refund unneeded cash to their contact in the United Arab Emirates. At some point in the day AL-SHEHHI wires $5400 to “Mustafa Ahmad” in the UAE. Link

September 9, 2001—Waleed AL-SHEHRI (11) wires $5000 to “Ahamad Mustafa” in the UAE. At some point in the day Wail and Waleed AL-SHEHRI order a call girl and pay her $180 for a 20-minute session.

September 9, 2001, 8:27 AM—The white Mistubishi appears at Logan airport again, remaining until 9:13 AM. Boston Globe 9/23/01

September 9, 2001— ATTA arrives in Boston. At Logan Airport, he watches that day’s American Airlines Flight 11 as it prepares for departure. He stands there at the gate with no luggage or briefcase, only a folder. A passenger remembers: “When I was actually boarding the airplane, he was standing at the gate counter writing on a card…the only thing he could see of the airplane was the pilots and the front of the airplane.” Link The same witness had seen him at curbside, asking “strange” questions. Later, he meets up with ALOMARI. They rent a blue 2001 Nissan Altima with Massachusetts license 3335VI at an Alamo Rent-a-Car in Boston at around 6 PM. They spend the night in a Boston hotel.

September 9, 2001, 4:15 PM—The white Mitsubishi returns to Logan again. It leaves at 5:39 PM.

September 10, 2001—There are 4,526 put options bought on UAL versus 748 call options. For American Airlines, the number of puts is 60 times the daily average.

September 10, 2001, afternoon—One of the Flight 93 hijackers goes to Nardone’s, a go-go bar on Route 1 in Elizabeth, NJ., about two miles from Newark International Airport. He has one beer and pays $20 to watch a dancer in the private VIP room. Link |

September 10, 2001, 4:25 PM—The white Mitsubishi returns to Logan again. It leaves at 5:05 PM.

September 10, 2001—ATTA and ALOMARI drive 100 miles north to Portland, ME in the afternoon. At a toll booth at Exit 13 of the Massachusetts Turnpike, ATTA “boils over in anger” when the operator demands that he pay the $3.10 toll. He speeds away without paying, and the toll taker writes down their tag number.

September 10, 2001—Hamza ALGHAMDI checks into the Days Hotel in Boston’s Brighton neighborhood. He is signed in as “Ghamdi.” ATTA+taxi+Hamburg&hl=en”> Link

September 10—Sometime today, JARRAH writes a farewell letter to his girlfriend. “You should be very proud, because it is an honor and in the end you will see that everyone will be happy.” According to Der Spiegel, the four-page letter is dated Sept. 10. Because of a mistake in the address, the package was returned to the United States and fell into the hands of the FBI.

September 10, 2001, 6:59 PM—A message is posted to a Yahoo financial message board reads “to the deapest part called the center of the earth by this wekend north east region will be destroyed new providance soon to fall apart.” Link

September 10, 2001—ATTA and ALOMARI arrive in Maine and check in to the Comfort Inn in South Portland, about a mile from the Portland International Jetport, at about 5:45 PM. Sometime between 8:00 pm and 9:00 pm, ATTA and ALOMARI are seen at Pizza Hut, 415 Maine Mall Road, South Portland, Maine, for approximately fifteen (15) minutes. This is apparently their last meal on earth. 8:31 PM —ATTA and ALOMARI make a cash withdrawal at a Key Bank drive-up ATM, 445 Gorham Road, South Portland. 8:41 PM—they are next recorded at a Fast Green ATM, located in the parking lot of a Pizzeria Uno restaurant, 280 Maine Mall Road, South Portland. They leave the account almost empty. 9:15 PM—They buy gasoline for their car at the Jetport Gas Station on 446 Western, Avenue, South Portland. 9:22 PM—ATTA enters a Wal-Mart on 451 Payne Road in Scarborough and spends twenty minutes there. ATTAck/investigation/ausport10042001.htm http://www.webdesk.com/terrorists-in-maine/”> Link Others believe ATTA viewed the Portland flight as a final test run for the plan to carry small knives onto planes.

September 10, 2001—AL-SHEHHI, AHMED/BANIHAMMAD, Mohand ALSHEHRI, and AL-SUQAMI price prostitutes, but found their prices too high.

Two of ATTA‘s bags, bearing his name tags, don’t make the transfer. http://www.suntimes.com/terror/stories/cst-nws-hijack16s1.html According to Der Spiegel, the FBI examines the bags and finds, among other things, a videotape on how to fly a Boeing 757 and 747.and airline uniforms. The immediate speculation is that the hijackers or some of their associates used the uniforms to gain access to areas of Logan Airport that would normally be secure. The FBI also wonders whether the uniforms were connected to an April 2001 break-in at the Hotel Nazionale in central Rome, in which two American Airlines pilots said they were robbed of their uniforms, badges, and airport access badges. An unidentified third vehicle, rented from a local Dollar Rent a Car franchise, is also found at Logan. Previously, investigators had identified two cars rented from the Boston office of Alamo Rent a Car. Link

September 10, 2001—At the Pink Pony Nude Theater in Daytona Beach, FL, a man with a Middle-Eastern accent sitting with two other men says “Tomorrow America will see bloodshed.” They leave a Koran behind at the strip club. Orlando Sentinel, 9/14/01

In NawaqALZHAMI’s car at Dulles, police find a cashier’s check made out to a flight school in Phoenix., four drawings of the cockpit of a Boeing 757, a box cutter, a map of Washington, and a handwritten note with the name “Mohumed” and ABDI’s northern Virginai phone number. ABDI had entered the USA as a Somali refugee on an I-94 visa. He had formerly worked for Caterair, an airline caterer at National Airport. When ABDI is picked up a few days later, on his person was a newspaper article about Ahmed Ressam’;s 1999 attempt to smuggle explosives across the border. (Human Events, 10/15/01) There was apparently another handwritten note saying “OSAMA 5895316,” AWADALLAH’s first name and old phone number on it (CNN 2/18/02)

September 11, 2001, just after midnight—Outside Newark International Airport, three men park a red Mitsubishi Galant at the entrance to the Airport Marriott hotel while two of them check in. The third man drives the car to a nearby Days Inn. All three were later positively identified as Flight 93 hijackers. One of the men in the Marriott is JARRAH, who paid $450 in cash for two no-smoking rooms, each with a double bed. The one with him is probably his roommate AL-HAZNAWI, though this is just a guess. The rooms JARRAH chooses have a clear view of the New York skyline. Link Link AL-HAZNAWI’s final bank statement, opened after Sept. 11 by his former landlord, showed that he left behind just $14. Link

At some point on the evening of the 10th, all of the hijackers, as required, read the “Instructions for the final night,” which were found in multiple places after the attacks, including in the wreckage of Flight 93. There are 16 in all. They begin: 1. Renew your convenant with God. 2. Know all aspects of the plan well and expect reaction and resistance from the enemy. Instruction No 3 is to read the ninth sura of the Koran. This sura, usually known as al-Tawba (penitence) or al-Bara’at (immunity), is the only one among the 114 suras in the Koran which does not begin with the words: “In the name of God, the compassionate, the merciful.” Some have suggested that this is because of the stern injunctions it contains: “When the sacred months have passed away, slay the idolaters wherever you find them, and take them captive and besiege them and lie in wait for them in every ambush” Link According to Bin Laden on the captured video, the “soldiers” knew that this was a martyrdom operation, but were not told until just before they boarded the plane. Clearly the four pilots, plus Nawaq ALHAZMI and ALMIDHAR, knew all. “Be calm and resolute, young man,” says ATTA’s letter to the hijackers, “For you will soon be going to paradise.” Link

September 11, 2001—In the UAE, approximately $16,348 is depositied into AL-HAWSAWI’s Standard Chartered Bank account. Then, at 9:22 AM local time, AL-HAWSAWI moves approximately $6534 from the $8,055 in Fayez AHMED/BANIHAMMAD’s (175) Standard Chartered Bank account into his own account, using a check dated September 10, 2001 and signed by Fayez AHMED/BANIHAMMAD; AL-HAWSAWI then withdraws approximately $1361, nearly all the remaining balance in AHMED/BANIHAMMAD’s account, by ATM cash withdrawal. Later that day, AL-HAWSAWI left the UAE for Karachi, Pakistan.

5:30 AM—ATTA and ALOMARI check out of the Comfort Inn, putting the $135 charge on ATTA’s Visa card. They leave an airline timetable on their room. After driving less than a mile to the airport, they park their Nissan and enter the airport. They drive the short distance to the Portland International Jetport and leave the Nissan there. Police find the “final night” instructions, plusemaps of New England and Boston, facial tissues, a toothpick, and an empty bag of Chips Ahoy crumpled in the ashtray. Link 5:40 AM—ATTA and ALOMARI enter Portland International Jetport Airport parking lot. They park on the first floor directly across from the airport entrance. 5:43—ATTA and ALOMARI check in at the U.S. Airways counter. 5:53 AM—The final pictures of ATTA and ALOMARI are taken by the security cameras at the airport in Portland, as they pass through security before boarding a flight to Boston. Each carries a shoulder bag. ATTA and ALOMARI board separately, keep quiet and don’t draw attention to themselves. Link However, once on the plane, they are described as “joined at the hip.” The Age, 9/17/01. The witness believed that they were business travelers, as it seemed that they were going over paperwork. 6:00 AM—ATTA and ALOMARI depart on their Colgan Air flight to Boston. 6:30 AM—The Colgan Air flight arrives at Logan Airport. ATTA and ALOMARI apparently clear another security checkpoint. At Logan, the pair sit by themselves in the waiting area by Gate 11, leaning forward in their seats and talking quietly, other passengers recall. ATTA is in seat 8A, next to ALOMARI, and across the aisle from David Angell and his wife Lynn. Link AL-SUQAMI is in 10B. The AL-SHEHRI brothers are in 2A and 2B.

After checking out the Valencia, Nawaq and Salem ALHAZMI board 77 together, checking in at the coach line rather than the first-class line. One of them shows a Massachusetts drivers’ license. Link

As Flight 11 is in line for takeoff, ATTA calls AL-SHEHHI, further back on the tarmac on UA 175, on his cellphone for the last time. The conversation lasts less than a minute, and is believed to have been a final confirmation that the plot was a go. AL-SHEHHI is in seat 6C. Ahmed ALGHAMDIis in 9D. AHMED/BANIHAMMAD is in 2A. Hamza AGHAMDI is in 9C.

JARRAH calls his girlfriend from the airport hotel in Newark. ALMIDHAR’s seat on 77 is 12B. Salem ALHAZMI 5E. Nawaq ALHAZMI 5F. HANJOUR is in 1B. MOQED 12A.

7:59 AM—AA Flight 11, a Boeing 767, departs Logan Airport with 81 passengers and 11 crew.

8:14 AM—UA Flight 175, a Boeing 767, departs Logan Airport with 56 passengers and 9 crew.

Approximately from 8:15-8:20 AM— Using box-cutters and small knives, ATTA and his team seize control of Flight 11. According to flight attendant Madeline Amy Sweeney, four attackers had cut the throat of a passenger in business class, killing him. They also stabbed the two flight attendants in First Class, including Karen Martin (who was given oxygen by the other flight attendants) and a pilot, she said. Flight attendant Betty Ong reported that two men in the eighth row [ATTA and ALOMARI] killed a man sitting behind them.. Ong also stated that the hijackers had sprayed something in her face—mace, presumably—that made her eyes burn and made breathing difficult. Three of the hijackers had been sitting in business class themselves and one [this could only be ATTA] spoke very good English.

That Sweeney mentioned four hijackers rather than five supports the theory that they used topographical cues to decide on when to make their move. It has been theorized that Flight 11 had the easiest navigation to the target, as its original route took it straight west, across the Hudson River valley. Following the river would have given ATTA a straight line of navigation to New York City, so for this reason the plane was seized early in the flight, since the landmark of the Hudson would be impossible to miss as long as the plane continued to the west. The hijackers didn’t need to keep the original pilots around after the climbout period. The fifth hijacker, therefore, would be needed to watch for the Hudson valley during the seizure period. Almost certainly this function was performed by one of the AL-SHEHRI brothers sitting in 2A. The dry runs the terrorists took during the summer would have been necessary to allow them to familiarize themselves with the topography.

The hijackers get into the cockpit, presumably, by drawing one of the flight crew out with their attacks on the flight attendants. Possibly by accident, someone keys the microphone so that their conversations could be heard by flight control in Nashua, NH. ATTA is heard saying, “Don’t do anything foolish. You’re not going to get hurt.” ATTA is also heard to say, “We have more planes, we have other planes.” It is possible that one of the hijackers falsely mentions to one of the American pilots an intention of heading toward LaGuardia or JFK airports in New York City.

Both cell phone calls reported that most of the coach passengers had no idea that anything was wrong.

8:20 AM—AA Flight 77 departs Dulles Airport.

Around 8:25 AM—Flight 11 makes a sharp right turn over Albany, NY. Its transponder is turned off.

Approximately 8:32 AM–Flight 175 is seized. 175 traveled a more southeasterly route, passing within easy visual range of the WTC towers. By this theory, the plane would have been seized the moment the towers became visible, as the towers themselves would have been the only necessary landmark. Again, this would have required the hijackers to have taken the flight previously, and to have sat in a window seat on the left side of the plane. On September 11, AHMED/BANIHAMMAD in 2A would have been the one to give the signal. The one call from 175 that we know of mentioned that men with knives were stabbing flight attendants in an attempt to force the crew to unlock the cockpit doors.

Around this time, multiple bomb threats are called in to the Boston and Cleveland Air-Traffic Control centers, which happen to be the ones handling the three flights currently in the air.

8:36 AM—Flight 175, now piloted by AL-SHEHHI, makes its first turn toward New Jersey. Shortly after, its transponders are turned off.

8:40 AM—FAA informs NORAD that Flight 11 has been hijacked.

8:42 AM—UA Flight 93—UA Flight 93 Departs Newark Airport with 38 passengers and 7 crew..

8:43 AM—FAA informs NORAD that Flight 175 has also been hijacked.

8:45 AM—Flight 11 crashes into the North Tower of the World Trade Center. It is believed that all of the hijackers congregated in the cockpit at the final stages of the flight to shout their “Allahu akbars” together.

8:55 AM—Flight 77 suddenly turns to the east. Flight 77’s transponder is turned off just after it crosses the Ohio River, so this is probably the landmark the hijackers used. Barbara Olson’s phone call indicated that the hijackers had herded the passengers to the rear of the jet.

9:02 AM—Flight 175 crashes into the South Tower of the World Trade Center.

9:05 AM—Flight 77 appears as an unidentified blip on radar over West Virginia.

9:24 AM—FAA informs NORAD that Flight 77 has also been hijacked.

Approximately 9:30—Flight 93 is seized. Flight 93’s nearly 180-degree turn just before Cleveland indicates that the hijackers may have used the sighting of Lake Erie as a landmark and a signal to seize the plane. The route the hijackers took strongly suggests that its intended target was in Washington, DC. Link The Flight 93 hijackers put on red bandannas just before they take over the plane. The headbands are a signature of Egyptian Islamic Jihad, who are known for wearing them during their machine-gun massacres on Coptic Christians and tourists at Luxor and elsewhere. It is not known whether any of the other three hijacker teams did this, but it is likely. The hijacker who is entrusted with guarding the passengers at the back of the plane wears a red box strapped to his waist, and claims to the passengers that it is a bomb. At least one passenger is murdered, along with the pilots.

9:37 AM—Ground controllers in Cleveland hear someone in broken English announce to the Flight 93 passengers that there was a bomb on board and that the plane was returning to the airport. The plane makes a sharp turn to the southeast at this time. The transponder is turned off at this time.

Freeper chris in nj says that the CVR tapes from Flight 93 “are an incredible amount of evidence against the 20th hijacker.” Link

9:30 AM—The “leader” of the Flight 77 hijackers, possibly ALMIDHAR, tells the Flight 77 passengers to call home because they are all about to die.

9:38 AM—Flight 77 crashes just short of the Pentagon.

10:03 AM—After an uprising by the passengers, Flight 93 crashes in Shanksville, PA.

There was an early theory that the hijackers had obtained access to the “jump seats” in the cockpits of the planes, but there is no hint of this in any of the recent accounts of the contents of the Flight 93 CVR. Link

Bin Laden tunes in to the radio to hear American news broadcasts of the event. “They were overjoyed when the first plane hit the building,” he said on a video later obtained by American forces, talking about others listening with him that day. “So I said to them: Be patient.” He said, “At the end of the newscast, they reported that a plane just hit the World Trade Center.” “Allah be praised,” replied one of the other men in the videotape. “After a little while, they announced that another plane had hit the World Trade Center,” bin Laden recalled. “The brothers who heard the news were overjoyed by it.” Bin Laden also mentions on the same video that “one group of people did not know the other,” but this was not essentially true.

Another flight out of Newark Airport that day, American Airlines Flight 43 to Los Angeles, is forced to land in St. Louis when the FAA grounds all commerical air traffic. Two passengers on this flight, Ayub Ali KHAN and Mohammed Jaweed AZMATH, board a train for San Antonio, but they are taken off the train by the FBI. They have boxcutters, disguises, and large amounts of cash with them. Khan and Azmath had lived at 6 Tonnele Ave., Jersey City, a four-story building with rooftop views of lower Manhattan, for about 2 1/2 years. Link It has been theorized that the two were part of a hijack team that lost its nerve. Given the very significant differences in age and ethnicity, and the apparent lack of contact that the two men had with the hijackers or their immediate associates—and also given the apparently wide circle in the American Muslim community who knew about the plot—one wonders if this was not an unofficial, “unsanctioned” hijacking.

MOUSSAOUI is seen cheering as he watches television pictures of the destruction from his secure unit. Shortly afterwards the FBI connects him with the attacks via BINALSHIBH. Finally, the FBI gets around to searching MOUSSAOUI’s computer, and find that it contains information about “dispersal of chemicals” as well as about crop-duster planes. MOUSSAOUI’s former roommate AL-ATTAS is arrested

September 13, 2001—The Visa card connected to AL-HAWSAWI’s account is used to make six ATM withdrawals in Karachi, Pakistan.

September 14, 2001—The Islamic prayer room at TUHH is shut down and the computer seized by German police.

September 16, 2001– In India, Saudi diplomat Ahmed Alshehri, based in Bombay, denies he was the father of hijacker Waleed M. ALSHEHRI. Reports from a Saudi newspaper editor say that both Waleed and Wail ALSHEHRI were Ahmed’s sons.

Around September 20—ATTAR leaves Germany for Sudan, where he lives openly.

November 9, 2001—A video is recorded in Afghanistan on which Osama Bin Laden names many of the hijackers, including Nawaq ALHAZMI, Salem ALHAZMI, and Wail ALSHEHRI, along with JARRAH and ATTA, and commends them to Allah. He mentions the AL-SHEHRI family name seven times, and the ALHAZMI and ALGHAMDI family names multiple times. He acknowledges that ATTA ran the operation: “Not everybody knew (…inaudible…). Mohammad (ATTA) from the Egyptian family (meaning the al-Qaida Egyptian group), was in charge of the group,” bin Laden said on the tape.The tape is found in Jalalabad a week or two later.CBS News 12/20/01

November 16, 2001—BINALSHIBH’s suicide video is discovered in the rubble of Mohammed Atef’s house in Kabul. He and four others are seen on the tape wearing red cloth knotted around their heads, as the hijackers of Flight 93 (and likely the others) did.

(the timeline continues at the link above)

Also take some time to review the History Commons project.

Just two days before 9/11, the New York Times publishes an article on their website examining the threat of an al-Qaeda attack on US interests. The article focuses on a videotape made by bin Laden which was released in June 2001 (see June 19, 2001). The article notes that “When the two-hour videotape surfaced last June, it attracted little attention, partly because much of it was spliced from previous bin Laden interviews and tapes. But since then the tape has proliferated on Islamic Web sites and in mosques and bazaars across the Muslim world.” It further notes that in the video, bin Laden “promises more attacks.” Referring to the bombing of the USS Cole in Yemen, he says, “The victory of Yemen will continue.” He promises to aid Palestinians fighting Israel, an important shift in emphasis from previous pronouncements. He also praises the Taliban, suggesting that previous reports of a split between bin Laden and the Taliban were a ruse. The article comments, “With his mockery of American power, Mr. bin Laden seems to be almost taunting the United States.” [New York Times, 9/9/2001] Curiously, shortly after 9/11, the New York Times will remove the article from their website archive and redirect all links from the article’s web address, http://www.nytimes.com/2001/09/09/international/asia/09OSAM.html, to the address of another article written by the same author shortly after 9/11, http://www.nytimes.com/2001/09/12/international/12OSAM.html. (Note the dates contained within the addresses.)

[jbaiata]

The making of “The Ballad of Charlie and Grace”

Stephen Hawking once famously observed that even those who believe everything in life is predestined look both ways before crossing the street.  And while I don’t believe the arc of our lives is entirely predetermined, I do think it is contingent on us to be open enough to recognize seemingly chance encounters for what they are: opportunities. Or, as Jackson Browne more eloquently puts it: “Pay attention to the open sky/you never know what will be coming down.”

In April of 2016 I was presented with an amazing opportunity: to give voice to a story that was just begging to be told.  Each year I volunteer for a fundraiser in Ridgewood, NJ - Saylestock, to benefit The Matt Sayles Foundation for Salivary Gland Cancer.  It’s an inspiring day - an all day music and arts festival that inevitably creates some magic moments for organizers and attendees alike.  Toward the end of the day I was approached by a town resident and asked about the origins of the fundraiser. I told her how Dave and Kathy Sayles had turned the most convulsive, painful event of their lives - the death of their young son to a rare cancer - into an urgent, vital cause.  That resident, Lisa Paterson, could unfortunately relate.  We fell into an hour long conversation, and Lisa bared her soul to someone who had been a complete stranger to her  moments before.  

Widowed on 9/11 when her husband Steven was among those murdered by the terrorists, Lisa was left to raise her twin four year-old’s, Lucy and Wyatt, alone. And to work through her own searing grief while trying to ensure her children did not become collateral damage to the worst terrorist attack in our country’s history. She endured a Sisyphean, near decade-long struggle to get Wyatt, who is developmentally disabled, to accept that his father was gone.  I was incredibly moved, and determined that the story needed to reach a much wider audience.

While driving down to Philadelphia the next morning, I was fixated on two things. The first was the conversation with Lisa, and replaying in my mind something she had recounted about Wyatt’s finally turning the corner.  She’d found a working farm the then teenaged Wyatt had really taken to, and when asked why he liked it so much, he’d replied “Daddy’s in the sky there.”  The second was how much I’d thoroughly enjoyed one band in particular - a self-described “funk, soul, jazz and rock fusion” outfit that I wanted to see again.  What the hell was their name? I had thrown one of the Saylestock handout brochures into my work bag, and quickly pulled it out. Ho-lee shit. “SkyDaddy.” The name of the freaking band was SkyDaddy!  

Photo: Lisa Paterson (second from left) poses with the band SkyDaddy and a friend. Credit: John Baiata

In that moment, chance encounter begat providence.  Lisa and I began a long series of spoken and written conversations that, half a year later, culminated in this story, and a second on “NBC Nightly News.”  Lisa was a completely open book, confiding her private pain and doubts, and granting me access to those who knew her best. She invited me out to Wyatt’s farm to spend the day there.  I interviewed  Wyatt’s longtime doctor. I interviewed Lisa’s therapist.  But it was a conversation with Lisa’s exceptional daughter, Lucy, that would eventually birth “The Ballad of Charlie and Grace.”

Lisa had shared with me the extraordinary, lifelong bond Lucy and Wyatt had developed, and even credited Wyatt with saving Lucy’s life as an infant. Lucy was failing to thrive, in trouble, and nothing the doctors had tried was working.  It was only after Wyatt was laid beside his sister in the NICU that Lucy began to respond.  Still, speaking at length with Lucy directly was revelatory.  I came away with a much clearer understanding of the “two unique souls united by birth” dynamic associated with twins in general, with an even deeper appreciation of the lifelong, unbreakable bond Lucy and Wyatt has forged - and with the inspiration for a song.

Photo: An infant and endangered Lucy Paterson . Credit: Paterson family. 

I’ve been writing song lyrics since I was a teenager. To see the vast majority of them is to understand just how difficult good songwriting is. In each case, I set out to write about a specific subject. I wrote the lyrics.  This will inevitably sound cliche` but I can think of no other way to describe it: for the first time, with “The Ballad of Charlie and Grace,” the lyrics wrote me.  They started coming to me in the days after that phone interview with Lucy, and kept up a steady patter in my brain until I finally reached for a notebook beside my bed, and began to capture the voices in my head. 

Wyatt and Lucy became Charlie and Grace.  I cribbed Charlie’s name from Charlie Greene, an outstanding young man who had also lost his father in the 9/11 attacks. I’d gotten the chance to work with Charlie in the summer of 2011, and had recently introduced him to Lucy.  I cribbed Grace’s name from John Newton, the poet and clergyman who wrote “Amazing Grace” a hundred and forty years ago.  In all, the lyrics contain references to fifteen other songs, and eight bible verses. (If you’d like to see how many you recognize or are just a glutton for punishment, they are all annotated at the end of this blog.)  Once finished, I had a thought I’d never conjured before about lyrics I’d written: “These don’t suck.”  

I shared the lyrics initially only with Lisa, a fellow music nut like me, and with my wife Anna.  Encouraged by their enthusiastic responses, I made my best decision yet, and shared them with my cousin Flynn - along with the story I’d written about Lisa, Lucy and Wyatt for context.   

Photo: Wyatt and Lucy Paterson today. Credit: Paterson family.

My wife Anna has long pondered how to leverage all the music trivia in my brain for financial gain, and I consider myself pretty knowledgeable about music in general.  But Flynn (That’s his full, legal name) is an actual musician, and someone whom I’ve always looked up to. Music has long been the common thread between us.  As teenagers I was enthralled listening to his takes on local rock heroes the Stray Cats, and many others.  As adults he would often invite me on Friday nights to come sing and play a little percussion with a small group of his musician friends. Nothing serious - “basement band” stuff.  But it meant a lot that a group of musicians whose talent level far exceeded my own would include me.  Since moving to southern Florida, Flynn has played extensively and cultivated an impressive network of musician friends in the area. He plays guitar beautifully, writes and records, and has notebooks filled with original lyrics of his own. And so when he got back to me, I was not quite prepared for his reaction.  

It was beyond encouraging.  He was effusive in his praise, and inspired by the story behind the lyrics. Flynn became the driving force behind the project. It took more than two years to bring to fruition, and in all that time his north star for it was clear-eyed. He wanted to give the lyrics a musical home to be proud of, for sure, but more than anything he was driven by his heart, and by doing something special for the Paterson family. Without his recruiting and wrangling of musical contributors, his booking of studio times and overseeing sessions, the steady stream of ideas and feedback he ran by me, this song would not exist.  I am grateful beyond words.

In February of 2018 Flynn and I went into Rain Cat Recordings in Jensen Beach, Florida to lay down the first and most important building block of the song, a gorgeous guitar track that he had written to accompany the lyrics. We had home field advantage. The wizards behind Rain Cat, Jeff Coulter and Bryan Lamar, were well acquainted with Flynn. Having been briefed on the project’s origins in advance, they were happy to get involved. 

Photo: Flynn working the guitar track at Rain Cat Recordings

Flynn had recorded a scratch vocal track that day as well, but it was a placeholder until we could identify a vocalist. He offered up a wide array of vocalists he knew and could approach - men and women.  I felt strongly that it should be a woman, as the chorus is sung from Grace’s first person point of view.  In the end we decided to try and recruit Summer Gill for the project. I confided in Flynn that I’d kept a running list in my head for years of my own “heavenly choir,” the voices I would choose to sing me home when my time came: Mavis Staples, Emmy Lou Harris, Aretha Franklin, Linda Ronstadt and Alicia Keys. Summer’s voice moved me in the same way those others did, wringing emotion from every verse. I had my doubts that we could get her onboard.  She was gigging constantly in support of her latest EP, working on songs for her next one, and our little song seemed a trifle by comparison.  And so we were both thrilled when Flynn reported back that she’d readily agreed to work with us - and all the more so upon hearing her evocative vocal. 

Photo: Summer Gill during one of our sessions at Rain Cat Recordings  

Along the way there were plenty of setbacks. While at Rain Cat with Summer during the first session to record the vocal track, Flynn got word that his Mom had passed.  Another session was scuttled last minute after Summer was involved in a car accident. Some musicians proved more difficult to schedule than others, and a good chunk of time was lost trying to schedule one in particular.   

That disappointment was more than made up for by the contributions of Adam Emanuel, a multi-talented musician who, in Flynn’s words, was “all in from the beginning.”  From Adam we got a vital piano track; one he tinkered with and improved over several sessions. Adam also gave life to Flynn’s vision for a “sweetener” track.  After considering a couple of other paths  - a pedal steel guitar? Nah. Flute? Nope - Adam came up with the synth strings that really enhanced the song’s emotional resonance.       

Photo: Adam Emanuel laying down the piano track at Rain Cat Recordings

And then there’s the guys behind Rain Cat, Jeff and Bryan.  It’s no given that artists who are really good at making music are experts at mixing it, and these guys are both. They also support their artists out in the community, and have developed a fiercely loyal client base because of it. It’s got to be all kinds of cool to be in the business of bringing others’ musical visions to life. Serious respect for these guys.  

Photo: Jeff Coulter and Bryan Lamar. Courtesy: Rain Cat Recordings 

Throughout the process, Flynn and I engaged in a grand jury level of secrecy, so as not to spoil the eventual reveal to Lisa and Wyatt. Lucy, however, was conscripted as a necessary co-conspirator.  Her first reaction to the lyrics she helped inspire was moving and heartfelt:

“I had to take a step back from the computer in order to compose myself... Thank you so very much for depicting my family’s story, specifically mine, in such a poetic and gorgeously bittersweet way.”

Her words also further incentivized us to finish. Lucy was responsible for gathering the bulk of the family photos that helped imbue the lyrics video with the personalized look her family’s remarkable story deserves.  Finally, a big shout out to my daughter Alexa for her time and help editing the video.    

The song is available on Apple Music, Google Play & Youtube Music, Amazon, Pandora, Tidal, Napster, iHeart Radio, etc  Any proceeds from the song are going to help support Wyatt’s farm. You can also make a direct donation. 

Thanks for reading this far, but I am reminded that where words fail, music speaks.  I hope “The Ballad of Charlie and Grace” speaks to you.  Click here for a listen. 

“The Ballad of Charlie and Grace”

One mother, two cords, one shared space

Brother and sister, Charlie and Grace

Grace soon fell ill, her parents dismayed

But grew strong once Charlie’s sweet head was laid

Beside her own on the pillowcase  

The first time he started

amazing Grace

“The boy’s not right,” they said. “His mind’s addled.”

Grace took up armor, prepared for battle

Be not afraid, her flag unfurled

Then had a thought that could change the world

In Charlie, redemption she could see and taste

And he’d only begun  

amazing Grace

 (spoken) And she sang:

He showed me the roll in the hills, a bird on the wing

A little bit of beauty in everything

The life in the day, the call in the breeze

Lucy in the sky, the magic in believe

Far too young when their daddy was taken

Charlie sat and wailed, “Why have you forsaken me?”

Grace took up his battle cry

While Charlie paid attention to the open sky

And blessings from space

And he carried on

amazing Grace

 Charlie grew up to work the land

Planting seed written in the palm of his hands  

And Charlie taught Grace to sow some seeds of her own

How some will grow, some you just call a loan

To tend to your gardens where the land is laid waste  

And he never failed at

amazing Grace

He showed me the roll in the hills, a bird on the wing

A little bit of beauty in everything

The spirit in the sky, sorrow in the fountain

Smoke on the water, and fire on the mountain

Charlie grew frail, his head a crown of splendor

Grace held firm; a loss she thought might end her

But Charlie’s voice rose in song she could believe

How sweet the sound, her fears relieved

And even as the light fell from his face

He never once stopped

amazing Grace

He just might have saved her from going under

Charlie boy, the boy wonder

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound.

Source material/references for “The Ballad of Charlie and Grace”:

“Amazing Grace,” John Newton

“For a Dancer,” Jackson Browne

“Fountain of Sorrow,” Jackson Browne

“Call it a Loan,” Jackson Browne

“Grace,” U2

“Fire on the Mountain,” The Grateful Dead

“Spirit in the Sky,” Norman Greenbaum

“Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds,” The Beatles

“A Day in the Life,” The Beatles

“Call Me the Breeze,” Lynard Skynard

“Do You Believe in Magic?” The Lovin’ Spoonful

“A Man Who Was Gonna Die Young,” Eric Church

“Me and Charlie Talking,” Miranda Lambert

“Away in a Manger” Charles Gabriel

Psalm 40/U2’s “40” “He set my feet upon a rock, and held my footsteps firm.”

Isaiah 41:10 “Fear not, for I am with you. Be not dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will hold you with my righteous right hand.”

Matthew 27:46 “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

Ephesians 6:13 “Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.”

Proverbs 16:31 Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained in the way of righteousness

Isaiah 49:16 ”See,  I have written your name in the palm of my hands.”

Psalm 34:8 “Taste and see the Lord is good, blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

Ezekial 36:35 “They will say ‘This land that was laid waste has become like the garden of Eden; the cities that were lying in ruins, desolate and destroyed, are now fortified and inhabited.”

[mattyslittleworld]

In the Fields of France

10:27 PM // Friday night 

A French cafe on Sunset Blvd.

In the midst of all the friends & lovers finding fate out in the wind of Hollywood, I find myself alone in a little cafe. Nothing new. Things have been madness. Waves on the beach. Crowes writing novels. While everyone finds Cinderella on the strip - it gets me off leaving through the back door to collect my thoughts over a black americano. This cafe is a late night buzz for the freaks, or so it seems. I think the goal was to create a French bohemian vibe. It’s perfect. The coffee will ruin your life. I don’t sleep much anyway. I’m usually up tampering and turning things. Building engines. I’m listening to a strange 7” I ripped to digital. It’s of this jersey artist that means a lot to me. When I feel alone I feel like I’m listening to a friend that I have much in common with trade war stories of the road. During the madness Ive found comfort in my records and resorting back to my little crevice of the world. My mom shipped me all of my old 7”’s from the early 2000’s that I collected in various strange cities and towns that nobody has ever heard of. When I cook after sessions I play them in the living room and unwind and just revisit the memories I made, as they play through my mind like an old decrepit film movie. That’s how it should be. I’m a progressive person - some fans of my music would say a completely different person. Making music completely astray from the music they fell in love with.  But this song thing is real for me. When I was a kid in a van drinking black coffee with Cincotta & Dean in all black - I’d sit in the front seat all night and listen to 70’s Springsteen & Tom Waits. I’m 31 in the pop industry living in Hollywood, in a cafe alone, listening to Matthew Ryan’s I Can’t Steal You on a Friday night. Which is a song that lives beyond its means. 

The name says it all. It’s a very interesting narrative of a relationship between two sinking lovers. But they are sinking because one is drowning - and the other is holding them above water. 

“Ash trays lie like hearts for you to burn in” “Our love is a black gun”. 

When I hear this record I think of the blistering cold in Port Monmouth, NJ. A broken down used Lexus that only played CDs, and the snow frozen over into ice, reflecting the sun at the Spy House. Where i would park until the sun came down, listening to records and dreaming of getting out. Sitting North of me in this Cafe is a group of young men, probably 25, about 7 of them. Sitting in a circle enjoying their Friday. Drinking coffee, shooting the shit, trading stories, showing each other pictures off their phones. It makes me happy. When I think of my life, I wonder if I’ll ever have that. Did the craft of song rob that of me? Am I slowly turning into that broken tortured poet that I always looked up to growing up? Am I merely just a record? I think of Christopher Thorn, a man I look up to. He has a family, wife, house, successful music career. In his 50’s still living his outlaw lifestyle, in Spain on tour. I’m not sure I’ll ever find a woman so wicked enough to be a get away driver. Or to clean the prints off the pistol. Will I always choose the dream of a green room in England over being amongst these 7 gentleman and their escapades in the electric city? Jason Isbell is singing “I’m tired of traveling alone” as we speak. Amanda came along, as he wrote “Cover Me Up”, a song about how unloveable he is - and she proved him wrong. She is as wicked as they come. 

In “Live Oak” he sings

“Rumors of my wickedness had reached our little town....soon she’d heard about the boys I’d hang around”

I relate to that. I remember that melody, that song, as I was walking through a dirt road, parallel to a field, in the villages of France, pining for who I thought would be my wife, the mother of my children. The sun was burning - light years from civilization. All I had was a yellow bandana I promised to keep in my back pocket, and a photograph of us in my wallet. My phone was almost always dead. And on that walk through the village into the farms I pulled out that photograph and thanked god for a life I didn’t know would soon crumble. Life had other plans. Walking alone through that field in France - I read the wrong message on that photograph. I saw a photograph of someone I couldn’t let go of, and vowed to never, when I should have saw a photograph of someone I have to let go of, so we both could grow. 

I’ve been a Lone Wolf ever since

Running with the wicked.

Outlaw love forever. 

[perfectirishgifts]

Sing Along Forever: The Bouncing Souls Enter Their Fifties And Fatherhood—Together

New Post has been published on https://perfectirishgifts.com/sing-along-forever-the-bouncing-souls-enter-their-fifties-and-fatherhood-together/

Sing Along Forever: The Bouncing Souls Enter Their Fifties And Fatherhood—Together

The Bouncing Souls, 2020—COURTESY OF THE ARTIST

Bryan Kienlen and his wife, Nicole, have a new routine. When they first wake up, they give bottles to their babies, Cora and Layla. And before taking on their daily tasks, they dedicate quality time for cuddling, crawling and playing.

“All four of us have this really beautiful morning,” 51-year-old Kienlen says. “It’s how I start every day. It’s the coolest thing.”

Twenty years ago, The Bouncing Souls bassist often spent his golden hour stumbling home from a night of partying in New York City, groggy and regretful as commuters drank coffee and made their way to work.

Bryan Kienlen walks on the boardwalk with his family. New Jersey, November, 2020

But decades removed from his period of downtown debauchery, the domesticated punk has found stability and serenity through his 30-year musical journey, as a successful tattoo shop owner and as a family man. He says being a father and “giver” is the greatest thing he’s ever done.

“You find how rewarding it is,” Kienlen explains. “There’s such a stark difference from being a ‘band guy.’ When I was a young, single maniac writing songs and touring—I didn’t realize until I could see things from my current perspective—but I was more self-centered. Everything revolved around me. Now, that stage of my life is over and I’m here to serve and take care of my kids and my wife. And I’m so happy with that. It’s not all about me anymore, in a good way.”

A lot has changed for The Bouncing Souls, the cult-followed New Jersey punk band which formed when Kienlen, vocalist Greg Attonito and guitarist Pete Steinkopf were high schoolers in Basking Ridge, NJ.

In the 90s, the band lived in chaos at a series of “punk houses,” each complete with a revolving door of ill-behaved 20-somethings, drunks and miscreants.

The Bouncing Souls, 2001 (Photo by Mick Hutson/Redferns)

Today, Kienlen and Steinkopf have settled down in New Jersey, whereas Attonito set up shop in small-town Idaho. And miraculously—as all three musicians have entered their fifties—they’ve all, almost simultaneously, become fathers.

But much has stayed the same, too. Last year, the band celebrated its 30th anniversary by touring North America and England, performing songs from the guys’ 10 full-length albums and newest EP Crucial Moments. Three of the four original members remain, save for the role of drummer. George Rebelo, from popular Florida rock band Hot Water Music, joined in 2013.

And 2020, with its own unique set of circumstances, has encouraged the Souls to appreciate the past while embracing the new in both their musical and personal lives.

In October, the band released Volume 2, a record of reimagined songs ranging from the group’s newest single, appropriately titled “World on Fire,” back to fan-favorite “Gone,” from the 2001 album How I Spent My Summer Vacation. And on Saturday, December 12, the band will be hosting a livestream performance of the album in a digital concert called Live at Studio 4.

While the group didn’t expect an internet broadcast to replace its annual Asbury Park Home For The Holidays residency, Volume 2 itself was born under precarious timing.

Bouncing Souls, Live At Studio 4, Saturday December 12, 8PM ET

Recorded in March during two one-week sessions in Philadelphia, the band completed the record just as America was blindsided by COVID-19. As time passed in the studio, the threat of the oncoming pandemic quickly went from negligible to worrisome.

“When we first went in the studio, I’d just heard the murmurings of coronavirus,” 50-year-old Steinkopf says. “I was like, ‘What the f*** is that?’”

“The second week was more intense,” 50-year-old Attonito adds. “The restaurant above the studio closed on our last day. The crazy thing about it was, we were having such a positive experience. We were joking about how we were spontaneously creating from our old songs that we love and the world simultaneously was cinching in with dark gloom. Those last couple of days, we didn’t want to leave our bubble of happiness. We knew we were walking into this chaos of the unknown.”

The Bouncing Souls with producer Will Yip, March 2020, Philadelphia

“Even the week that things were getting really weird, we were hyper-focused and trying to stay off our phones,” Steinkopf says. “But every now and then, someone would be like, ‘Did you see this!?’ What the f*** is happening?!’”

Despite the impending doom, the Souls found the studio sessions to be fruitful. The band was able to recompose classic tracks, breathing new and unexpected life into staples and providing previously underappreciated songs with a second chance.

Attonito was able to sing from a more mature and controlled vocal perspective—leaving the guttural belting for the next fast-paced punk record—allowing him to put a new spin on songs he’s chanted thousands of times.

Steinkopf was able to give a nod to the 80s tunes that inspire him, drawing energy from bands like The Cure, rather than focusing on a checklist of sing-a-longs and “woah-oh-ohs.”

The band was even able to squeeze in some silly instrumentation, using a “cheesy” 80s Casio keyboard and toy instruments on the song “Hopeless Romantic.” At Kienlen’s burning request, they even incorporated a french horn into “Favorite Everything.”

But as the recording sessions wrapped up, the band scrambled to make travel arrangements to get home to their families.

“Everybody said goodbye,” Kienlen says. “And the world was never the same.”

The guys returned to their homes in New Jersey, Idaho and Florida. They kept in touch, but were just as anxious as the rest of the country. 

Steinkopf and Kienlen, Anchors Aweigh Tattoo Studio

Kienlen, like many other Americans, was forced to close his tattoo shop in Bradley Beach, NJ, Anchors Aweigh Tattoo Studio, for three months as the battle against COVID-19 took a stranglehold of the Northeast.

In the mountains 100 miles north of Boise, Attonito’s small resort town felt seemingly unchanged at the onset of the pandemic. But in the red state of Idaho, many remained resistant to masks, even as a surge of tourists in RVs flooded the area and caused a spike of positive cases.

Early on, Attonito felt depressed that band-life was on hold. Eventually, he started becoming conscious of mask-wearing in his dreams. And Steinkopf began to realize how much he missed the things he used to take for granted.

“Someone sent me a Souls show from a long time ago,” Steinkopf says. “I was watching it and I got real emo about it. There’s a lot of stuff I don’t go out and do as much these days, and now I’m like, ‘Man, I’m gonna go do everything when I can again!’”

But, in the meantime, the band adapted and found creative outlets to keep the spirit of the Souls alive. They started holding weekly Zoom meetings to catch up and launched the Can You Remember? podcast via Patreon, an endeavor they wouldn’t have pursued otherwise.

And along with their new projects, the guys are beginning to see a tentative semblance of “new normalcy.” Steinkopf is back producing in the studio again and Kienlen is booked up with tattoo appointments well into 2021. 

While the band is glad to feel productive and are eager to return to live music, they recognize what a unique opportunity the pandemic has offered them as new fathers. 

Kienlen and his wife adopted their first baby, Cora, as a newborn in December of last year.

Bryan Kienlen with his wife, Nicole, and daughter, Cora — December 2019

“At the time, I had one new baby, whom I hadn’t had the chance to bond with because we adopted,” Kienlen explains. “One day, you go from no baby to baby in your house, real fast. I still had touring through the end of the year and was booked out with [tattoo] appointments every other day that I wasn’t on tour. We never had a paternal leave or hardly a maternal leave, either. It was pretty difficult. When the lockdown happened it was a blessing for us because we got to stay home with her and truly bond every day.”

Then Kienlen went from having one baby to two babies just as quickly. In October, less than a year from Cora’s adoption, the couple was contacted with the opportunity to adopt a second child: a seven-month-old who they named Layla.

Kienlen and his daughter, Layla — October 2020

“We got that call on a Wednesday afternoon out of the blue,” he explains. “We picked her up that Friday. Talk about no time to plan! We scrambled to play catch-up a little. But I think we’re finally settling into a groove.”

While the couple were definitely hoping to adopt a second child so Cora would have a sibling, they were pleasantly surprised by the timing.

“We expected to wait a year or two,” Kienlen says. “That’s generally how long it takes. But I’m glad that it happened this way because they’re gonna be in the same grade. It couldn’t be better.”

Attonito and Steinkopf have also enjoyed their time home with their children. At the end of their conference call interview with Forbes, Attonito was adorably approached by his son, asking to say hello to “Uncie Pete.”

“If you’re gonna be locked down in a pandemic,” Attonito says. “You may as well be in a period where your child is under two or three years old, the most valuable moments to be with them all the time. In that sense, the timing is pretty good for all of us.”

Uncle Bryan & Lux — 2019

Fortuitous timing is just one example of the kindred connection between the members of The Bouncing Souls. Not only did they all enter their fifties together—Attonito and Steinkopf just days apart—but fatherhood, too.

Around three years ago, Attonito and his wife, Shanti, welcomed their baby boy, Ever. A few months later, Steinkopf and his wife, Keira, birthed their son, Lux.

“Serendipitous is a good word,” Kienlen says. “It describes the entire existence of our band. None of us had brothers growing up. Maybe on some deep level we found each other and bonded into a family and stayed together for life as brothers.”

They’re already growing together as parents, too, both in their capacity to love and overcome their fears.

“You could say a million things about having a child,” Attonito says. “But it pushes your capacity to look outside yourself and take care of someone. It pushes you to those limits in a way that, I don’t think, you can possibly experience without having a child.”

Greg Attonito with his wife, Shanti, and son, Ever

He continues: “I’m so glad I waited until I was in my late forties. The idea of having a child terrified me to no end. I felt like I would never be there for them. I’d be on tour all the time, that would be the worst. I wouldn’t be able to enjoy one or the other. I’m so glad it worked out the way it did. The fact that we’re all sharing this at the same time has been super special.”

“I was always the most terrified to have a child,” Steinkopf agrees. “I don’t know if it was the people I was with, my relationships or just being a selfish young guy. I would’ve been a s*** dad [laughs]. At this point in my life it just felt totally right. You spend your whole life being introspective and learning about yourself, but as soon as you have a kid, that’s magnified by a thousand. You think about your past, how you don’t want to impose stuff on your kid. It’s heady, but your heart is so f***ing full all the time. The most frustrating day now is like the best day I’ve ever had.”

Shanti, Ever & Greg Attonito — Pete, Lux & Keira Steinkopf

And the punks are embracing full-blown adulthood with sarcastic charm. Steinkopf insists he’s never felt better, as he and the singer offer a collective tongue-in-cheek, “F*** you, I’m 50!”

It’s the same self-assured confidence that the band tapped into while reconstructing classic Souls songs. While many were picked fairly arbitrarily, the group did make an effort to develop tracks on the basis of lyrics they felt were overlooked.

Take “Argyle,” off the 1996 album Maniacal Laughter, which was written by Attonito, but admired by Kienlen for its words. While the singer calls it a personal song that was “definitely written from the perspective of a mid-20s-year-old person,” he’s glad his bassist pushed to include it.

Another throwback featured on Volume 2, “Say Anything,” dates back to the band’s 1997 self-titled record. The Bouncing Souls was released just as the band’s collective lifestyle of punk house squalor came to a close.

Attonito, 1995 (Photo Steve Eichner)

“It’s well romanticized because it had moments of glory and moments of pure annoyance,” Attonito says laughing. “There’s a motivation there that’s sort’ve unexplainable. Once you hit your forties, you’re like, ‘How did I hold up?’”

Steinkopf adds: “It’s just like chaos, but it was chaos in a way that we were so f***ing motivated to do everything. We were gonna print shirts. Do this, do that—all together. It was intoxicating.”

Looking back, Attonito sees the era as a wave of energy and focus that propelled the band into a lifetime of performing. The first decade of insanity and perseverance allowed for an actual career in music. 

Bryan Kienlen (L), Greg Attonito (R) of The Bouncing Souls, 1995, Wetlands in New York City (Photo … [] by Steve Eichner)

While most of The Bouncing Souls may have taken a step back from the craziness in 1997, it took Kienlen a few more years. As all the members moved to New York, then moved on, their bassist remained and kept the “party” going the longest.

While recording Volume 2, he was able to revisit three songs he wrote during a tumultuous time, a rough patch that served as the blueprint to the band’s beloved 2003 release, Anchors Aweigh.

“Highway Kings,” “Kids and Heroes,” and “Simple Man,” all made the new record—and reignited feelings in the studio. They were also given a second chance musically.

“‘Simple Man’ was written in a pretty dark place for me,” Kienlen says. “It was a prayer to the universe for simplicity back in the middle of what was a bit of a storm in my personal life. To revisit some of those lyrics, I felt more like the returning conqueror. I’d survived. Now I can face these songs from a happier place.”

But when Kienlen first penned many of the songs to Anchors Aweigh, he wasn’t just experiencing love-life woes, but a “major life turn.”

“A whole reality was ending basically,” he says. “It wasn’t just a relationship, it was an entire reality that I had built around the relationship. It all just ended instantly and I was set free. But it was just me and my demons all of a sudden and no governing force.”

The bassist describes it as the perfect storm of a single guy who’s going through changes with nothing but time and cash in Manhattan’s Lower East Side. He went out and partied every night until the following day. He’d get going around 10:00PM, then leave bars and afterparties as the sun came up, feeling like a “ghoul.”

“It was the darkest I’ve ever felt,” Kienlen explains. “I was the most depressed I’ve ever felt in my life. Then, the following night it would just start again. Any happiness was produced by substances and all the other shallow crap that goes with that life. Night after night. You’d get so high and so happy, but not really. Not real happiness. When you heard that first bird chirping, that’s when you realized you f***ed up again.”

Bryan Kienlen of The Bouncing Souls plays before several thousand at the Vans Warped Tour, 2001, … [] Ventura, CA (Photo by Carlos Chavez/Los Angeles Times)

He continues: “And the things I was doing were definitely gonna get me killed. I was riding my motorcycle up the FDR [Parkway] going 120 miles per hour—that f***ing high—in the middle of the night with whoever on the back that I could’ve killed. It was just insane.”

Kienlen frequently hosted afterparties at his own apartment, too. As cliché as it sounds, he usually felt alone in a room full of people. 

“All the good stuff was gone,” he explains. “All my friends were just fellow ghouls—nightlife people. I felt pretty alone. Being apart from Greg and Pete during this was also part of the despair that I was feeling. That’s when I wrote ‘Simple Man’—probably about six in the morning on a park bench. Just one of those nights.”

Bryan Kienlen, 2006 (Photo by John Shearer)

After 15 years of living in New York City, from squatting to a city-subsidized apartment in Alphabet City, Kienlen decided to abandon the F Train and return to New Jersey living.

He’d fallen out of love with his gentrifying neighborhood and was sick of his own behavior. He also mourned the loss of the Old New York punk scene he once so enjoyed. The days of brown-bagging beer on his BMX bike and bouncing from CBGBs to Coney Island High to The Continental were over.

For years, the Jersey-born transplant never imagined leaving New York City, but his Anchors Aweigh turning point was critical to an end-game he never imagined: a house, a wife, two kids, a dog and his own business. The album’s cover, as always designed by Kienlen, is symbolic: a ship sailing off into the dark distance, marking the end of a chapter.

In that regard, it’s suitable that so many tracks from the album populate the ranks of Volume 2. The band’s following release, The Gold Record, marked a new “golden” age for the Souls. The 2006 record also established that after years of noodling across the Hudson River, the band’s homebase would forever be the Jersey Shore.

Greg Attonito crowd surfs at Bamboozle Left, 2008, Irvine, CA (Photo by Noel Vasquez)

Despite Attonito’s choice to commute from the sticks—and a drummer change or two—the rest, as they say, is Jersey history. It may be generational, but there are few acts that evoke an association to New Jersey quite like The Bouncing Souls. 

Bruce Springsteen requires no explanation. Bon Jovi isn’t far behind. The Misfits are, for some reason, inextricably connected to their hometown of Lodi. The New Brunswick boys in The Gaslight Anthem (with a co-sign from The Boss) have become hometown heroes. My Chemical Romance has immeasurably left its mark on the world, but somehow holds down its Garden State credibility.

But, for Gen X and Millennials, only The Bouncing Souls—with tracks as indicative as “East Coast, F*** You!” and the aptly-titled “So Jersey”—can conjure the feeling of the boardwalk under your feet, the smell of the Atlantic Ocean and the buzz of The Stone Pony. 

The Bouncing Souls performs at The Fillmore in Detroit, MI, 2013 (Photo by Scott Legato)

In a year as uncertain as 2020, at least fans have the consistency and renewed spirit of The Bouncing Souls—31 years in—to distract them, if only for a few minutes. 

“Call it naïve, but we committed to doing this for our whole lives,” Kienlen says. “I guess we took that commitment seriously. But we didn’t know what this meant, we didn’t have a picture in our head. I’m glad we made every decision from our hearts.”

Luckily, his bandmates are equally as enthused.

“It just gets better all the time,” Steinkopf says. “We have more fun as we get older. We’re in such a cool place. Turning 50 and feeling that way, I’m pretty f***ing stoked.”

Attonito adds: “Once you make it to 50, you can see the world and understand the value in having relationships that lasted this long—with each other and the audience. This is so incredible that we can do this. We love it. And because of the pandemic, when we get back, we’re all gonna appreciate things even more.”

Follow me on Twitter at @DerekUTG.

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