#Oh to be the Pocky in Daisuke's mouth

[dnangelic]

@toadmiretoweepover asked:   tosses a handful of pocky boxes down on daisuke. "look! everyone keeps standing around with their hands open with these boxes of treats, daisuke! i was going to eat them all since they're practically nothing—how is a small box like this supposed to fill you up anyway?—but i heard it's your birthday!! so enjoy them!" ségurant being the ever so 'thoughtful' friend.

GAAAAH ! AAAUGH --- ' AAAA ?! ' ( calm down , daisuke ! it's just some chocolate ! )

--- huh ? wha ? chocolate ?!

' b-brown-san ! ' oh , thank goodness ! so that blur that had approached and suddenly started chucking what he mistook for bricks at first was just tossing some chocolate ?! though --- ' a-ah , it's pocky ... ! '

a number of the boxes are gathered up , daisuke bewildered by the sheer variety that was starting to turn up in his grasp . of course , today was pocky day too , after all ! still , wasn't it sort of funny that chaldea was up in such a buzz about it ? ( no matter the time period someone's from , people will never change . everyone loves a good celebration --- ! )

... fair enough . though , whether or not dark's claim had been true , daisuke wouldn't have been the sort to try to pine and compete for bouts of attention with the date of his birth . it's somewhat of a surprise , then , that ségurant had even managed to somehow stumble across the knowledge of his birthday , on top of having been willing to lavish the boy with myriad boxes of uneaten treats .

' w-wait , brown-san ! you don't even want one box ? ' he was grateful , trying not to stumble as he stepped forward with his arms full of the collected containers , struggling to fish out an ordinary box of pocky for the other before pushing it back into their grasp . ' these are , um --- w-well , how should i explain it ... you might want one for a game ! everybody's going to be holding onto these sticks with their mouths , and daring other people to bite it --- until they ... they ... ! '

his face turns red . redder than his hair .

' a-anyways , if there's someone you like , you might regret not having one , so ... keep it ! ' like it was ammunition ! for that shot of love !

' and ... um , w-well ... thank you , too . for thinking about me . ' it's the first time the boy has brought out a smile in the course of their entire exchange , bright and bashful above the bouquet of pocky boxes and sticks grasped in his arms . ' you're really a good friend . ' although something like pocky day and its festivities felt nigh-completely off limits for someone who was cursed him , acts like this meant still felt to mean everything and more . ' i'll be sure to make it up to you someday ! thank you again , brown-san ! '

[jastacular]

Pick Your Flavor

- Cutie Bois 😚

- Domestic Bois😶

- Sexc Bois 😳

They're feeding us this good bruh. And these are all official im cryin-

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS VANDEAD CARNIVAL Yoyaku Tokuten Drama CD: “Queen of the Carnival ☆ Make your decision with the King’s Game!”

Original title: カーニバルの女王様☆王様ゲームで決めちゃって！

Source: Diabolik Lovers Vandead Carnival Yoyaku Tokuten Drama CD [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Midorikawa Hikaru, Hirakawa Daisuke, Kaji Yuki, Toriumi Kousuke, Konishi Katsuyuki, Kondou Takashi,  Sakurai Takahiro,Kimura Ryouhei, Suzuki Tatsuhisa, Kishio Daisuke

Translator’s note: The Diabolik madness never ends! These longer drama CDs are a bunch of fun but they also drain me from my energy when I translate them so I might take a little break from the longer drama CDs after I’ve finished all of my requests. While this one was fun too, I didn’t find it quite as funny as the hot springs and the nickname CDs. A lot of the tasks they gotten would have translated better if it was actually animated, I feel. Of course, there’s still some glorious moments such Yuma holding the pocky stick between his teeth and then Ayato just punches him in the face. xD

The track starts with the both the Sakamaki and the Mukami families gathered around the dinner table, enjoying their meal.

Yuma: ...But you knowー *munch munch* Havin’ a meal with these guys...Not to mention in Karlheinz’ castle in the Demon World... No matter how you look at it, isn’t that kind of nuts? *munch*

ー Mmph!? Delicious! This taste is something else!

Reiji: Good grief...Would you please refrain from talking with your mouth full? It’s bad manners. 

Ayato: Oi, Reiji. Aren’t you gonna eat that piece of meat? ー If you won’t eat it, then give it to me! ...There!

Ayato leans forward to steal the meat off Reiji’s plate.

Reiji: ...!? Hold up, Ayato! 

Ayato: *munch munch* Mmh! This meat really is superb!

Kanato: ...Ayato! Don’t sit cross-legged on your chair! You’re in the way! Your knees keep bumping into me...! (1)

He pushes Ayato, who bumps into Laito sitting at the other side.

Laito: ...Wah!? *cough cough* A...Ayato-kun! Come on...Look at this mess! Because of you my shirt got dirty...

Ayato: Haah!? It’s because Kanato sent me flying!

Kanato: ...!? So you’re blaming me!? 

Subaru: Che...Aaarghh!! Shut up! You triplets over there, at least behave while we’re eatin’...!!

Subaru slams his fist against the table.

Azusa: ...Oh.

Kou: ...Ah! Hey! Subaru-kun, because you hit the table, both my fork and knife fell on the floor...! ー Huh? Waah...!? 

Subaru: What!? Don’t raise your voice like that...Is it really that big of a dea...Ah.

Azusa: That...hurt. Fufufu...

Kou: Wait...Azusa-kun!? Are you okay...? Your hand’s bleeding...Could it be you accidentally cut your hand earlier?

Azusa: Mmh. However...It’s okay. It hurts, but...Aah~ It feels...so good...Nfufufu~

Shuu: ...What is this farce? Did I wander into a rare animal restaurant (2) or something?

Ruki: Heh. I complete agree. To think they can’t even finish a single meal in style.

Reiji: ...That goes for your younger brothers as well, may I add.

Ruki: My bad. Our upbringing wasn’t the best. However, all of you should have held the status of nobility since birth. Despite that, this outcome...Heh. 

Reiji: I hope you are aware that those words are indirectly insulting Father’s upbringing? 

Ruki: From what I’ve heard, your respective mothers had been entrusted with the task of your education, am I wrong?

Reiji: That’s...

Kou: Stop, stop!! We’re having none of that today! ...Look, M-neko-chan is asking you to cut it out as well!

You nod your head.

Ayato: Haah!? Get along!? I’ve been holding back and trying to get along this whole time. You’re still going to complain!?

Laito: Exactly. Greed is no good, Bitch-chan! Keep that for when you’re alone in bed with me, okay~? Nfu~

Subaru: ...Haah. Annoyin’....

Shuu: ...Either way, stop making a fuss. Sit still and eat your food. After this, there’s supposed to be something happening regarding the King and Queen of the carnival. Haah...I’m tired.

Kanato: Something regarding the King and Queen of the carnival ー You say? Which means?

Shuu: No idea. I just repeated the message I received from the familiar sent by Father. 

Ruki: I haven’t heard anything either.

Yuma: Haah!? There’s still more!? I’m already exhausted from this banquet...

Kou: ...That being said, the Queen of the carnival has to be M-neko-chan, right?

Ayato: That sounds ‘bout right. Is something wrong with that?

Kou: Hm...I was just wondering...Who would be the King of the carnival in this case?

Ruki: Now that you mention it, you have a point. If she is Eve, then we have ten Adams - including myself - gathered here. 

Reiji: Shuu, did Father’s familiar tell you who the King of the carnival is?

Shuu: He didn’t. The King of the carnival...I wasn’t told anything about that.

Ayato: In that case, if we think logically, it has to be me.

Kanato: Haah? Why Ayato? That doesn’t seem reasonable at all.

Subaru: ...Oi. Haven’t you heard anything?

You shake your head.

Reiji: Good grief...You haven’t, huh? 

Laito: Nfu~ We’re in a bind! It can’t be helped so why can’t we just all be Bitch-chan’s boyfriends? 

Azusa: It isn’t...’boyfriend’...It’s...’the King of the carnival’...

Laito: But that basically means boyfriend, right? Nfu~

Ruki: Don’t call it something as ordinary as ‘boyfriend’...It has been decided that there can only be one Adam to pair up with Eve.

Shuu: ...Haah. Anyone will do, just make up your mind. ー Oi, you. That’s right, you’re the Queen, right? 

In that case, you’re the only one who can pick the King. Make it quick. You should know better than anyone else that the longer this situation drags on, the more of a hassle it will become.

You hesitate.

Ayato: Oi, Chichinashi! It obviously has to be me! No need to hesitate!

Kanato: Ayato...! Threatening her to choose you is dirty! Even though she actually wanted to pick me, now you’ve made it difficult on her.

You shake your head.

Ruki: That isn’t it? In that case, hurry up and narrow it down to one person. I’m sure you don’t want any unncesessary bloodshed either.

You look around trying to make up your mind.

Azusa: Eve...Are you having trouble...?

Subaru: ...It’s not really somethin’ to wrack your brain over, is it?

Kou: You think so? Isn’t it only natural for her to feel pressured when everyone is staring her down with those eyes screaming ‘pick me!’...?

Laito: Nfu~ Then why don’t we decide it fair and square through the King’s game? (3)

Yuma: Haah? The King’s Game?

Laito: Bitch-chan is the Queen, right? She’ll be giving us ten Vampires aiming to be the King unreasonable orders. If you can’t do it, you’re out.

Reiji: Then does it really need to be through the King’s Game?

Laito: Eeeeeh~? We’re deciding on the King, right? In that case, it has to be through the King’s game...

Besides, there just so happens to be some time before the dessert arrives, so why not include it as part of the recreation? Right, Bitch-chan?

Yuma: I sense nothing but bad vibes...

Kou: Yeah...Especially since Laito-kun is the one suggesting it...

Ruki: That being said, the one playing the ‘King’ is Kachiku. I’m sure her requests won’t be too unreasonable. It’s no big deal.

Shuu: Haah...Whatever. Just pick already.

Reiji: Well then, let’s start with assigning everyone a number. I’m 1.

Subaru: Then I’m 2.

Laito: Number 3 for me~

Yuma: I’m 4.

Azusa: I’ll settle on...5.

Ruki: 6, for me.

Ayato: Then I’ll take 7.

Kanato: I’m 8.

Kou: I’ll go for 9 then~

Shuu: I’m last, huh?

Laito: Well then, our dear Queen, please give your servants their orders. Nfu~ 

Ayato: What’s up, Laito? You’re totally enjoying this.

Subaru: ...By the way, what if he was aiming for this from the start?

Laito: Becaaause~ You have to enjoy this kind of stuff or you’re missing out. Nfu~

Subaru: ...Che!

Reiji: As for the lottery, I brought the one from the recreation room. Well then, go ahead and pull the numbers this way.

Ruki: I’ll do it.

...Number 3 and number 9.

Laito: Nfu~ Me and Kou, it seems.

Kou: Hm...Then what should we do?

Reiji: If we have to wait on her to decide each order, the Carnival will come to an end. So let’s use this lottery that was left behind in the entertainment room.

Well then, please choose a slip of paper to your liking.

Ruki: Somehow you seem used to this kind of stuff.

Reiji: Is that so? I’d like to believe I was simply being thoughtful.

You pull the first task.

Ruki: Kachiku, show it to me.

Number 3 and 9 will...do group gymnastics together.

Laito: ...Eeh!?

Kou: Group gymnastics...!?

Laito: Haah? Why group gymnastics between me and Kou!?

Shuu: Heh. Hurry up and do it.

Laito: Hey, Reiji! This isn’t fun at all...!

Reiji: That shouldn’t matter. If you won’t do it, the two of you lose. That’s all.

Kou: Nnnh...

Laito: Eeeh? But group gymnastics...Nothing comes to mind...Besides, doing it with a guy is a little...

Kou: Guess it can’t be helped...I’ll use the formation I learnt during the ‘Idols’ Sports Festival’ TV program...Laito-kun! Are you ready?

Laito: Huh?

Kou: I’ll come dashing your way so scoop me up with both hands and fling me into the air, okay? Here I come...!

Kou starts running towards Laito.

Laito: Eeh!? Wait...One sec...!!

*CRASH*

Kou & Laito: Waaaaah!? ...Ow.

Ruki: A failure, huh?

Reiji: Seems like it. Well then, let’s remove number 3 and 9.

Shuu: Oi, hold up.

Reiji: What’s the matter?

Shuu: Don’t tell me the other orders will be things like group gymnastics as well.

Reiji: How should I know?

Shuu: ...Tsk. I have a bad feeling about this.

Ruki: Come on, there’s still eight people left. Hurry up and choose the next one.

Subaru: Hm? 1 and 2 so...Me and Reiji?

Yuma: Then, that leaves just the task. Oi, Mesubuta, pick one.

You pull the second order.

Ruki: What do we have here?

“Draw a heart shape in the air with your butt”

Subaru: Haaaah!?

Reiji: There’s no way I’d be able to do something so vulgar.

Subaru: ...Ugh!

Subaru suddenly gets up from his chair.

Yuma: Huh? What’s the matter, you hikikomori? (4) Standin’ up like that all of a sudden...You’re actually gonna do it?

Subaru: Ugh...F...Fuuuuuuuck...! I can’t do it after all...!!!

*THUMP THUD CRASH*

Subaru: Huh...? Oi...Woaaaah!?

Reiji: Wha...!? Subaru!?

Ayato: Woah...He totally just self-destructed. (5)

Kanato: Haah...I’m sure he’s okay. He’s a Vampire after all.

Ayato: You’re right. By the way, Reiji, what about you? Gonna do it?

Reiji: Such a thing...Of course not. There is no way someone as prideful as myself would drop that low under any circumstances. 

Yuma: Aaand another one drops out.

Reiji: ...Ugh. It’s a shame.

Ayato: Well then, it’s about time for me to show up? Oi, Chichinashi. Pull the next numbers already.

Laito: Nfu~ Next up are...Here, give it to me, Bitch-chan.

Reiji: Laito, so you’ve revived it seems.

Laito: Kou made a bad landing and is still recovering.

...Oh! It’s 4 and 7. Yuma and Ayato.

Yuma: Come on, bring it on! Hurry up and pick the task.

Ayato: Hm? What is it? Number 4 and 7 will play the...’stick candy (6) game’, it says?

Kanato: What’s that? The stick candy game?

Ruki: It’s a game in which both players start at each end of a chocolate-covered, stick-shaped snack and eat towards the middle till there’s barely any left . Nothing else.

Ayato: Don’t fuck ‘round!! As if I’d be able to do that!

Yuma: ...Don’t make a fuss ‘bout every fuckin’ little thing...It’s not as if they’re asking us to kiss. Don’t make such a big deal over just eating a snack close to each other, it’s creepy.

Come on. Mmh.

Yuma holds the pocky sticky between his teeth and waits for Ayato to take the other side.

Ayato: ...Ugh. 

Reiji: Yuma is glaring daggers our way, so I suppose he means ‘what’s taking him so long?’

Ayato: ...F-Fuck...Even if you say it isn’t a kiss...You’re asking for too much!

Ayato punches Yuma in the face.

Yuma: Mwah!?

Ruki: Oi. Isn’t that a violation of the rules?

Ayato: Shut up! There was a disgusting face near mine so I punched it, that’s all.

Azusa: Yuma...If only I had...taken your place...Right?

Ruki: Oi, Yuma!

Azusa: No use...He won’t...wake up...

Reiji: Good grief...With this, both number 4 and 7 are out, it seems?

Ayato: Oi, wait! Why me too!?

Azusa: You punched him and...In the end...You didn’t do the game...Right?

Ayato: As if I care! He just collapsed and won’t wake up!

Shuu: ...Shut up. Let’s continue. Oi, Reiji.

Reiji: Please don’t order me around! ...Come on, please pull the next lot.

Ruki: Number 8 and 10, in other words, Sakamaki Kanato and Sakamaki Shuu?

Shuu: Me and Kanato?

Kanato: Fufu...Shuu, huh? However, I won’t lose.

Shuu: I feel like this isn’t about winning about losing but...Whatever. Decide on the order.

You pull the third order

Ayato: Chichinashi, I’ll read it for you. Let’s see...Number 8 and 10 expose each other’s dark pasts.

Kanato: Haah!?

Shuu: Exposing our pasts, huh? Well...We’re siblings after all. I know plenty of stuff.

Kanato: Shuu...If you talk about that, you’ll know what will happen, right?

Shuu: Haha...But if I don’t say it, I might lose, right? 

Kanato: I-In that case...I’ll talk to! About that happening.

Shuu: ...That happening?

Kanato: ...

Reiji: Kanato, go ahead and tell us. I’m sure everyone is just waiting to hear about that good-for-nothing’s dark history. Haha.

Shuu: Kanato, you may tell them but in return...You get me, right? 

Kanato: ...!

Shuu: I’ll tell everyone about that thing without problem. No matter how embarrassed you may get, I won’t have mercy.

Kanato: Ugh...That’s dirty!!

Ruki: Oi, how much longer? At this rate we won’t get anywhere.

Kanato: ...I’m passing.

Shuu: Hahaha...Then I’ll pass too.

Azusa: Are you...sure...?

Kanato: It can’t be helped...!!! If Shuu exposes me right here...I...I...

Shuu: Well, that’s just how it is. Both me and Kanato are dropping out.

Ayato: ...You know, lately I’ve been thinking that Shuu might be the biggest bastard amongst us all.

Laito: Agreed...

Shuu: Say whatever you want. I’m gonna nap. *yawns* 

Kanato: Ugh...For me to...Lose like this! ...Hey, Teddy? Let’s get revenge on him one day for sure, okay...?

Reiji: Just what kind of secret of yours does he know? ...Well then, is the next one finally the last?

Ruki: The ones left are...Me and Azusa, huh?

Laito: Nfu~ This duo gives me bad vibes.

Kou slowly begins to regain consciousness.

Kou: Aah...What...? What’s happening right now?

Ayato: ...Oh? You’re finally awake?

Azusa: The final challenge...Will be between me and...Ruki.

Ruki: Well then, let us start. This is a serious duel, Azusa.

Azusa: For the sake of...Eve...I won’t...lose.

Reiji: Dear god...You over there, please choose the final lot.

You pull the final order.

Kou: Okay, M-neko-chan~ Give it to me...I’ll check the contents...Hm...What’s this~? Ruki-kun and Azusa-kun’s challenge is...Hurl something extremely precious to you into the fire ー It says.

Laito: Something precious? Hm...Seems like the most straightforward task lasted till the end.

Ayato: Oi, Ruki, Azusa, what’s precious to you?

Ruki: My...most precious thing? 

Azusa: Hm...

Laito: Huuuh~? Both of you are staring at Bitch-chan with such passion-filled eyes...Could it be...Is she the one most precious to you~? Nfu~

Reiji: Both of you, how is it? Don’t remain silent and answer us.

Ruki: Throw away what’s...precious to me...? I can’t do that...!

Azusa: ...

Azusa starts walking.

Ayato: Huh? Azusa, where are you going? ...Oi!

Azusa: Hey...Eve. I think you...already know but...To me...You are more precious than anything...

He grabs hold of you.

Azusa: I was just told that...I should get rid of...What’s most precious to me...However, I just...can’t give up on you.

Laito: Hey, is this okay?

Reiji: I don’t know, don’t ask me.

Azusa: But...I...realized...Hey? You also like...being hurt and...feeling pain, right?

I love it too...That being said...The two of us are...two peas in a pod...In short, it means we’re the same...Right? 

In that case, if I...simply get rid of...myself...It’ll be as if I...got rid of you, right?

Azusa pulls out a knife.

Ruki: Oi!! Azusa!

Azusa: Fufufu...With this...I’ll be the Carnival’s King...Right?

Ruki: Cut it out!

He puts the knife against his chest.

Kou: W-Wait...! Azusa-kun! Stabbing yourself right in the heart is dangerous! Ayato-kun! Hurry up and hold him back!

Ayato: Haah? Why me?

Kou: ...Just do it!

Ayato: ...Fuck! What is this!?

Azusa: Fufufu...Hahaha...! Eve...Now I’m the...King, right?

Laito: Come on, Azusa-kun! Stop it alrea...Woah!?

Azusa struggles back.

Reiji: Good grief...Kanato! Take the knife from his hand!

Kanato: ...Why would I...Ah! Wah! Hey...! That’s dangerous!

Azusa thrashes about more.

Azusa: Haa...Haa...Why...Why is everyone...Trying to...get in my way...!?

Laito: Azusa-kun!! Calm down!

Azusa: Haa...Why...are you trying to...stop me? I was so...close...!

Ayato: Stop it...! Woah...!

The triplets continue to try and stop Azusa

Ruki: Dear god...In the end, all of us ended following Azusa in stride.

The voices of Azusa and the Sakamaki’s bickering and fighting can still be heard in the background.

Yuma: Aah...Fuck...My head is still spinning...

Ruki: Yuma? You’re awake?

Yuma: Yeah...Wait, what are they doing ganging up on Azusa like that?

Ruki: I wonder...If I had to put it into words, I’d say they’re trying to prevent Azusa from becoming the King of the Carnival.

Yuma: Haah? 

Ruki: Oi, Kachiku. All of this is your fault for not being able to decide on the Carnival’s King.

Yuma: God...Exactly.

Subaru: Ugh...I...agree completely...

Ruki: Sakamaki Subaru. So you’ve returned?

Subaru: Haah!? What are you lookin’ so calm for!? Isn’t that guy one of yours!? Stop him too!

Shuu: ...Shut up. It doesn’t matter. Just settle this already. Hey, you. Hurry up. If you still can’t narrow it down to one person...You know what will happen, right?

ーー THE END ーー

Translation notes

(1) Kanato simply says ‘you’re bumping into me!’, but considering Ayato’s position, I’d assume it would his knees hitting him.

(2) I looked up the term and Shuu mentions a 珍獣レストラン or ‘chinjuu restaurant’ which apparently is a restaurant that serves a lot of exotic/weird meats. I don’t really how that relates to the context, but he might just be referring to the triplets with ‘rare species’ :P

(3) The 王様ゲーム or ‘King’s game’ is a popular party game in Japan. Each round, everyone picks a stick with either has a number or a little crown symbol on it. The person with the latter is the King for that round and give two people a task/command. 

(4) Hikikomori is a common social phenomenon in Japanese where people can no longer take the pressure from society and become shut-ins. 

(5) I couldn’t really make out what Ayato said here so I just made up something that made sense. > < If anyone understands this sentence, feel free to let me know and I’ll edit the translation!

(6) Okay so we all know this is pocky game, but I assume they couldn’t put in the name ‘pocky’, so they describe instead. In Japanese they 棒菓子ゲーム or ‘bougashi game’ which literally translate as ‘stick candy game’. 

[twistedstarlitspirits]

"Ken... you forgot."

The pocky he had been munching while studying, drops from his mouth. “Forgot? No, I remembered my test’s date correctly. Well my first test, I still have a few others to take over the week.”

He picked the pocky back up and hummed thoughtfully. “Oh, by the way, what did you think of the present I sent you? Sorry, I couldn’t be there, how was your party?”

He didn’t forget his friend’s birthday. What he did forget, however, was to send the giftbox to Daisuke.

It’s currently sitting in plain view in his bedroom. And he hasn’t realized he forget to send it yet.