#PROCEED W CAUTION .... HE'S D*NGEROUS

[mclvma]

𝘼𝘾𝘾𝙀𝙎𝙎𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙏𝙈𝙕 𝘿𝘼𝙏𝘼𝘽𝘼𝙎𝙀… maluma is a twenty five year old singer. in past interviews he/him has been described as +bewitching &. +authentic, as well as -inconsistent &. -devious. their insta is full of shots of vacations, music, thirst traps. it’s always exciting to see what the cismale is up to next ! could his secret be our next headline ?

hey hEY WHEYEH WYEHY !  ! hello mtv & welcome to another edition of mtv cribs: sam edition ! today we have a good one folks ... trust me ! the one, the only, maluma ! who was definitely another spontaneous decision from yours truly, but can you blame me ? he’s my spanish papi n’ realllllllllllly delicious to look at so :) let’s get this party started :)

headcanons:

cringes at the thought of commitment. looks like a cupcake, actually isn’t a cupcake. prefers to be called juan luis ( + / - the luis, but it depends who ) switches between more reserved during interviews, and a cocky little shit during music videos. practically lives at the strip club. still hasn’t properly settled down anywhere since he’s constantly on the go. has absolutely zero problems with polygamy. vegas is his go-to place to have the best time. very family oriented. always envisions his favorite people in the crowd. relies on his family to keep him grounded. every tattoo he has possesses a very valuable meaning behind it. obsessed with coffee. most inspiration for his music comes from daily scenarios. trains, planes, buses are all prime spots for songwriting. loves talking about himself. has plans to start a little league soccer team. scared of being too vulnerable. fantasizes and romanticizes almost everything. definitely still lives by his pretty boy / dirty boy persona, which means super innocent and the furthest from it. totally aware of the things he does to women, and men alike. extremely humble, but that’s usually overshadowed by his massive ego. has some sweet tendencies ( somewhere deep, deeeeeep down inside ), and equally fucked up ones to match. has zero problem being a sugar daddy. knows that he’s a charmer, and uses that to his advantage. would use someone to get to where he wants to be. strong selfie game. would hop at any and all opportunity to play batman. works extremely well under pressure.

plots:

[ one  ] - hi i’m getting all the platonic ones out of the way now ! but this is one is supppppper cute ! he needs someone to keep him fluffy & grounded, n also try to take him out of his player wayssss ... like srsly ! [ two ] - rmbr what i said about getting the platonic ones out of the way ? we’re hopping straight into love here people, i’M SORRY ! buuuuut this could be a past thing, like ‘ i love u & u won’t let me into ur pants dude :( what the hell :( ’ ... either way, i’m cryING [ three ] - o pretty please throw ur male muses at him for this one ... jesus christ, can i just say that shit like this never, evER HAPPENS TO ME N I’M STRESSED ? anywaaaaay :) [ four ] - skskkss ! listen ! i’m a suCKER for roommate plots & whoever chooses this one, good luck bc there’s going to be shorties ... n dudes ... n really the whOLE nine in his bed tbh [ five ] - * just a forewarning, this one is kinda ( ? ) mildly ( ? ) nSFW ! * think about it ! besties turned into literallllll best friends after a nice highway drive, brings tEARS to my eyes ! [ six ] - i’m also head over heels for baBY plots cause they rip my heart out :/ but this one is actually cute n then it causes me hella pain :/ my favORITE :/ i’m in shambles :/ [ seven ] - fuck me up fam ! i rlly love this one bc angsty & tears, n jealousy and evERYTHING that i’m into rn (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・hi if ur reading this tHEN CHOOSE THIS ONE PLS :~) [ eight ] - OOOOOOO WAIT ! u know what ! this one is cute ! idk why he would be meeting the parents, but maybe they’re in town ? tea ! he’ll chaRM them over .. n then be nasTY ;) [ nine ] - i really, hoNESTLY, TRULY, don’t care which is one of these i get caUSE they’re all so cute n bring me to tears ! agAIN ! srsly guys .... i’m exploding ovER HERE by envisioning them all i- ???? i’m not good for my health ???? [ ten ] - just kidding, drop evERYTHING ( don’t even read these other plots ) n choose this one ! i’m ???? not okay ??? right now ???? can u just imagine the feelings in thIS ONE I- ??? bYE

+ also wanted : [ best friends, exes, exes to lovers, friends to lovers, lovers to enemies, acquaintances. platonic friendships. friends with benefits, slow-burn relationship, forbidden love, secret relationship. ]

keep in mind that these plots are never set in stone, we can always add / remove the things that yoouuuuuu don’t like ! n liking this post gives me full permission to invade your ims & i won’t take no for an answer so :))))))))) be ready :)))))))