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sternerstufftoys · 5 years

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Can’t touch this

I've not really got into the War for Cybertron Micromasters. A lot of them barely seem like a step up from their original toys from 1990, their weapon modes are usually utter jank, and as a concept they've always sat rather awkwardly alongside normal-size bots. You can make up all the guff you like about them being fuel-efficient blah blah, but it's all a transparent attempt to cover up the fact that micromasters were never going to be as cool as proper Transformers. So this week the theme is all about growing up, moving on, and graduating to being proper big boy bots. Starting with these fine lads, the Sports Car Patrol, aka Roadhugger, Detour and Hyperdrive, or G2 Wildrider, Breakdown and Blackjack if you're the sort of person where fun goes to die.

So, when Combiner Wars was pitched, it was decided that each five-member team would have a sixth ranger hanger-on, either as a targetmaster weapon or as an optional chestplate, where Menasor's already car-shaped armour was upgraded into a fully fledged transformer, and then decided it was close enough to looking like G1 Micromaster Blackjack to just go all the way with it. And then when a G2-themed recolour of the whole Stunticrew was released, Blackjack followed suit by turning purple... suspiciously similar to Sports Car teammate Roadhugger. They kept the name Blackjack though because who can be bothered trademarking Roadhugger for a one-off recolour?

All well and good, but then you take a closer gander and see that Wildrider's utterly butterly new outfit would fit pretty perfectly as Detour, and for that matter Breakdown wouldn't be too far off Hyperdrive and YES OH YES WE ARE DOING THIS.

And what you end up with are two bots who have grown up to proper deluxe car size and one that... well, he's not quite there yet, is he? Still legends-size, but everyone develops at their own pace. You shouldn't make fun just because someone's a late bloomer, kids.

And with such wonderful garish 90s flava, these three just exude character. They would definitely have formed their own breakdancing/rap crew and been disappointed when their lyrical flow failed to take down any Autobots. But lets be clear here, not the up-and-coming wave of gansta rap that would come to define the mid to late 90s, no. They'd be more Beastie Boys than Tupac. More Vanilla Ice than Ice T. They'd be super white, is what I'm saying. Come on now.

And hell, them shell suits, eh? Breakdown is the best, with a colour scheme that didn't make it out of 1995 alive, but Roadhugger and Detour aren't all that far behind. You can practically hear the swish-swish sound as they move. Yes, even as robots.

I've talked about the Breakdown mould before, when I heaved over CW Sunstreaker, and the Dead End mould got a nod with CW Prowl, but I feel I should stop for a second and pay homage to the glory of the latter. Dead End was an unlikely candidate for breakout star of CW, but even after seeing it on G1 Dead End, G2 Dead End, G1 Wildrider, G2 Wildrider, Streetwise, Prowl, Smokescreen, Bluestreak, Dust-up, Under-3, Lightspeed, Flowspade and Chromedome, I'm still not over just how tidy it all is. Not the flashiest of carbots certainly, but does everything really well and has combiner functionality hidden away as well. Stick in some translucent plastic in there and it'd be pretty much perf.

And again, while Roadhugger/Blackjack isn't the fanciest of moulds, it's still a pretty slick little guy, easily ready to be the frontman of the group despite his small stature. The two together are almost enough to take your mind off how awkward Hyperdrive looks with Breakdown's blocky body on him. Ah, it's not so bad. The plastic is several hundred times better here than it was on Sunstreaker, so there's that at least.

Give me these lads any day over the tedious mire that is the G1 Stunticons. Those lot are so bland to look at, with drab colours and miserable personalities. Sure, the 90s didn't get everything right, but the buzz and optimism of that decade squeaks out just a little from these three, and I love them all the more for it. It's like that, and that's the way it is.

Huh.

#transformers #macaddam #toy review #detour #hyperdrive #combiner wars #all grown up

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