#Steven is suppose to be this massive dad but the last one doesn't feel like it

[einsteinsugly]

Point Place, Wisconsin. October 2001. Kitty's 70th birthday party. A Y2K Reunion, part 2. The meat and the potatoes, and a nice little dessert. With a fluffy cherry on top!

Part 1 here.

Several minutes later. The TV's still droning on, switched to a football game. Deviled eggs and cheese and crackers are on the coffee table, and Eric, Leah, and Bob are shoveling them in their mouths, when the door swings open, revealing a perfectly dressed Jackie. In a dark, floral midi skirt, and a dusty rose sweater set.

Eric (finishing off a deviled egg, with a scoff): Guess who's fashionably late...

Jackie promptly ignores him, hugging Kitty, Red, Donna, and Kate before beelining for the coffee table, promptly taking a deviled egg.

Jackie: I don't know how you do it, Donna. These things make me lose my freaking mind. And make me forget I'm on a diet. Do you have a recipe, or?

Donna: It's just sort of a rough estimate. Like a rough draft...

Jackie: Well, your outfit's a rough draft, of a real outfit. *Scanning Donna up and down, who's clad in a flannel shirt and some bootcut jeans* Donna, the last time I checked, all that stupid grunge stuff was dead and buried like four or five years ago...

Donna: The last time I checked, you had a husband. And kids. Where are they...

Becca and James enter the scene. Both are dark-haired and dramatic, like their mother. Particularly...

James: Right here.

Leah promptly abandons the deviled eggs, and envelops James in a giant bear hug.

Leah: I missed you.

James: It's been two hours.

Leah: Two hours of Papa rambling on and on in the backseat, and Billy Joel. And Styx.

James (shuddering in horror): Must've been a long two hours.

Leah (blurting): Longer than the detention... *Eric and Donna glare at her, apparently unaware, as Leah's eyes widen in horror* I didn't have? I was totally at that Harry Potter club meeting...

Eric (with a sigh): Harry Potter this, Harry Potter that. I'm tired of hearing about that wily little wizard, when you're playing a bunch of magic tricks on us. *With a dramatic sigh* At the very least, you're not getting any birthday cake.

Leah: But it involves a long story, a true story...that kid Tyler tried to feel me up during a game of capture the flag, and I kicked him in the stones...

James (with a smirk, before Eric or Donna can interject): Then, the next day, I kicked him in the stones. And threw him into a brick wall.

Leah (with a similar smirk): And unlike Platform 9 3/4, it wasn't a magical portal, leading into a magical land. He just was thrown into a normal, old boring brick wall...

Jackie (with a sigh, to James): You're just like your father. I can't even count how many creepy guys he's thrown into a brick wall to defend me, like...

Leah: He's just an extra hired gun, Aunt Jackie.

James (with a sigh): Yeah, like an extra hired gun...

The camera pans away from Leah and James, and towards Kitty.

Kitty: Okay, enough about guns and throwing people into brick walls. Where's...

Jackie: He's parking the car.

Becca: But mostly, he's carrying Mom's bags. Kind of like a reluctant but dedicated bellboy...

Fez and Rhonda enter, without Jackie's bags. And with Adrian and Ashley. As the audience sighs in relief.

Fez: Ai, are you talking about me?

Becca: No, I'm talking about Dad. Mom had to take the whole house with her.

Jackie: If I could take the whole house with me, I totally would. *With a dramatic pause, holding up three fingers* But I only have three suitcases...

Kelso and Brooke enter, with Betsy and Hannah. Without Jackie's bags, as the audience, once again, sighs in relief.

Kelso: He wouldn't even let me carry one! And they're massive, and I can totally...

Jackie: Unlike your supposed Apollo rocket of love. Because it's really, really little. Microscopic.

Kelso: Damn, a lot's changed down there in twenty-three years, Jackie!

Jackie: What, has it gotten infected or something? Or is it even tinier? *With another dramatic pause, as the gang laughs at Kelso's expense* But a lot's changed on the outside. You're fat, unlike my...

Steven Hyde enters, with two of the suitcases. He's aged gracefully, unlike Kelso. He's still muscular, and he doesn't have a receding hairline. Just a few wrinkles, and a touch of gray through his curly, russet hair.

Jackie (running up to him, pecking his cheek): Steven, be careful with those bags...

The audience cheers happily.

Hyde: What, you got the heart of the ocean in there or somethin'?

Jackie: No, but if I did...I'd be the old lady throwing it into the ocean in end. And you wouldn't need to go down and get it for me. Because money doesn't buy love, or happiness.

Hyde: As long as we're not hand to mouth, like the really old days, when I was fuckin' stuck with Bud and Edna, we're all good. We've got each other, the kids, our family...

Jackie: And that's all that matters. Right, kids?

Becca nods, but James...

James: I'd get the heart of the ocean for you, Mom. Then I'd pawn it, and we'd be swimming in money. Forever...

Jackie (largely ignoring him): Forever and always?

Hyde (kissing her, as the gang lovingly heckles in the background): Forever and always.