#TFW THE GAME TAKES YOU BY THE SHOULDERS AND GOES 'maybe your dark side is right actually.'

[last-flight-of-fancy]

finally got around to doing the dark knight questline (to level 50 anyway. are there more after that???? i know dragoon got a bit more but. im Uncertain on literally every other class) and like. what he hell am i supposed to do with myself after that

[pherryt]

For the Ship + Sentence game: Destiel (or gen!TFW) “I picked the wrong week to quit drinking...”

Okay, i was actually out for a walk when i got this and then i had the most difficult time getting this going but once I did, well, 1556 words later, here ya go… 

canon divergent, bunker fic, confessions, possibly spell related, Destiel with Sam rolling his eyes on the sidelines

it’s long so i used a read more

“Ipicked the wrong week to quit drinking…” Dean groaned, slumping down in his chair and cradling his head inhis hands.

“Dean? What’s wrong?” Castiel sat beside him,concern present in his voice though Dean refused to look at him.

“Pretty sure my life just imploded. I need adrink, Cas,” Dean whined.

“Don’t listen to him, Cas,” Sam said, slamminga book down on the table and Dean whimpered.

“You’re so mean,Sammy!”

“Would someone please enlighten me as to what’sgoing on?” Castiel asked. Dean blushed and looked away, clamming up. “Dean? Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad.”

Sam laughed and Dean dropped his head to the table with another groan.

“Why don’t you just tell him, Dean?”

“Screw you, Sam,” Dean grumbled.

“Oh, I see…” Castiel stood, his voice hurt. “I’ll go makemyself useful in the library then.”

Dean jumped up and grabbed Cas’s arm. “Don’t do that! Forthe love of…of…just… trust me, you do notwant to do that.”

Cas pulled his arm out of Dean’s grasp. “It’s clear you don’twant to talk about whatever’s bothering you, though your brother seems to know,so I think I’ll decide for myself what I do and do not want.”

Dean let out a strangled sound and scrambled after Cas ashe walked out of the kitchen, through the map room and straight for thelibrary. He could hear Sam laughing his ass off behind them and Dean hopedhe really did laugh his ass off. It would serve his pain in the butt brotherright.

“Cas, I’m serious – you don’t want to go in there!” Dean shouteddesperately after the disappearing angel. He tripped over the steps on his wayup and missed another swipe at Cas’s elbow.

Slippery angel.

He knew as soon as Cas saw it, for the angel had frozen inthe door of the library. Dean wanted to slink off with his tail between hislegs, if he had one, that was.

Tentatively, he forced himself forward instead and stoodbeside Cas in the doorway, keeping his head down. He didn’t need to see thelibrary, he already knew what was in there. 

Talk about wearing his heart on hissleeve.

Gulping, Dean said quietly, “I’m sorry, man. I didn’t wantto burden you with my shit. And I can’t seem to get rid of it. I think we – or I- tripped some sort of spell or something.”

“Dean, you thought… I’d be mad about this?” Castiel said. Somethingin his tone had Dean raising his head some and looking up and over at theangel.

“Uh… yes?” he said uncertainly.

Cas didn’t look back, just continued to stare into thelibrary. Dean could see his eyes flicking over every inch. He knew what he’dsee. It was the worst kind of sappy, Valentine’s day shit he could even thinkof.

Which was actually because he had.

Every last bit of it had come from him, from his mind. Thingshe’d maybe imagined once or twice before burying in the deep dark recesses ofhis mind, slapped in a box which he then locked and buried with the word ‘unattainable’written on the stone marking the spot.

He’d even thrown away the virtual key.

It never really stopped him from imagining a future withhim and Cas in it, if their lives had been different. It didn’t keep him fromthe daydreams of domesticity, from having wet dreams and waking up hard. It didn’tkeep him from longing for things he couldn’t have, or didn’t deserve.

For Cas.

Fuck his life. He wanteda drink so bad. After Cas walked away, confirming all of Dean’s worst fears, hedidn’t think he’d be able to make it through the rest of the day withoutgetting so black out drunk he couldn’t remember the pain of Cas’s rejection.

At least, before heknew, there was always that inkling of hope that maybe Cas wouldn’t. But Deanknew, in his heart, that there wasn’t any hope, not for someone like him.

“I’m sorry,” Deansaid again, helplessly, his eyes burning with tears he refused to shed.

And then Castielturned, the most beautific smile on his face that it stole Dean’s breath away. “Whyare you sorry, Dean? This… this is a dream come true. A dream I had not daredto allow myself.”

“W-what?” Dean blinked.What had Cas just said?

“Dean, I love you,”Castiel said earnestly, those blue eyes boring into Dean. Dean could drown in thoseeyes, he was almost certain of it. “I’ve always loved you. There is no place I’drather be than at your side.”

“But, Cas, you’realways leaving. I thought – that was a pretty clear indication that –"Dean fumbled.

“I only left becauseI felt I should. For so many reasons. Because I thought, however erroneously,that I wasn’t truly wanted outside of the things I could help with, because therewere things I needed to do, and because…” Castiel paused and turned to faceDean completely. “Because I thought I would not give in to the ill-advised temptationto kiss you, when I was certain it would just result in you hurting your handon my face once more.”

“So… Cas… what areyou saying?” Dean edged closer, licking his lips hopefully.

“I’m saying that I havewanted to kiss you, you infuriating human, almost since the moment I raised youfrom perdition, and that desire has only gotten stronger the longer I’ve known you.”

“Even when I stabbedyour ass?” Dean couldn’t resist asking.

“You did not stab mein the ass, you stabbed me in the chest,” Cas deadpanned but Dean could see thetwinkle in his eyes.

“You jackass,” Deanlaughed. Castiel’s face broke into one of his rare, gummy smiles, the one thatset Deans heart twitterpating.

“Will the two of youkiss already so I can call Rowena to fix this? The overabundance of pink, redand white is literally killing my eyes. The declarations of Dean’s love for Casis a lovely sentiment but overly… annoying since it’s morphed all the bookspines to read only that. And did you know what I found when I opened one of those books?” Sam saidfrom behind them, causing Dean to startle and step back, almost falling downthe stairs backwards if Cas hadn’t caught him like some sort of damsel in distress.

“Dammit, Sammy!”Dean yelled.

“I’m scarred forlife, Dean. Just so you know. There are some parts of you I have seen that I neverwanted to see and never want to see again. Same goes for you, Cas. I’m happyfor both of you, keep me out of your sex life.” Sam shoved a book at Dean. “So,fix this so I can get back to doing some research.”

He disappeared,leaving Dean and Cas to blink after him. Dean looked down at the book. He lookedup at the room, then down at the book. How much worse could it be?

Taking a breath,Dean opened the book and then choked.

Cas leaned over topeer into its pages with him. “Is it an instruction manual on copulation? Iassure you, my hands-on experience may be limited but I am fully aware of how to havesex, no matter the genders of the parties involved.”

Dean choked againand slammed the book shut on its… terribly suggestive images of him and Cas.

No wonder Sam waspissed. Through no fault of his own, Dean had somehow defiled Sam’s happyplace.

If someone had redecoratedthe Dean Cave in a similar fashion involving Sam, Dean was quite certain hemight throw up.

He creaked the bookopen again and stared, flipping a few pages to see the different positions it suggested. Deancleared his throat and looked at Castiel biting his lip thoughtfully.

“So uh, do you thinka kiss is good enough, or do we have to follow the ways of the Dee-sti-el Kama Sutrato make the library go back to normal?”

“Deestiel?” Cas tiltedhis head.

“Oh uh, just… just somethingSam and I picked up on a case, once. Don’t worry about it.” Dean blushed,remembering the girls and their musical. It hadn’t actually been that bad, butit had been a little wrenching, especially seeing the fake!Dean and fake!Cas andfinding out they were a couple.

Something he thoughthe would never have.

Apparently, he’d beenwrong.

“I’m not opposed togoing further,” Castiel said evenly. Deans mind did a record scratch. He wasalmost certain he actually heard the needle scratching. “But just a kiss wouldalso be fine, if you’re amenable.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,”Dean said breathlessly, eyes wide.

He couldn’t believe thiswas happening, that this was real. He stared at Cas until the angel rolled hiseyes, grabbed Dean gently by the shoulders and slotted their mouths together.

Dean melted into thekiss with a moan, grabbing onto Cas’s accursed (beloved) trenchcoat to keep onhis feet.

Worst week ever toquite drinking? Dean may have been wrong about that, but he was happilychanging his mind right now.

Dean’s been to Hell,Heaven and points in between and kissing Cas had all those places beat.