#Tempted to leave him a letter saying that I'd like to go low contact until he gets his shit together

[roomthirtythree]

sorry to vent post on main but I am losing my mind

My fiancé is across the Atlantic from me. Last year before I left to visit him, my brother was lamenting the fact that we wouldn't see each other before I left. He was on vacation. So I suggested a day we could hang out and he agreed.

He cancels the day of, saying he's sick and going to the doctor. A few days later I ask him how it went and he said he didn't go. Okay.

THIS YEAR I'm leaving on Monday. Again, my brother says he would like to hang out before I leave, and suggested yesterday. Guess who canceled again, claiming he was sick?

But the REAL KICKER is that later on in the evening he texts me: "I'm so lost, I thought you were like... Moving on Monday".

MY (quite literally) BROTHER IN CHRIST. You thought I was MOVING ACROSS THE ATLANTIC and still couldn't be bothered to come say goodbye??

That's worse. You can see how that's worse right???

[hannie-dul-set]

(thirteen times) i love you— 05

— wherein y/n (a hopeless romantic) seems to fall in love with nearly ever guy she meets. so, she writes letters for them to compensate. these letters weren't meant for them to read, but what happens when they all end up receiving them?

05 // you put flowers to shame

word count: 1.9k

a/n: hnnn yn is dumb and a mood

next part will be on July 23rd, 8:00PM EST!

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The walk towards the garden went at an agonizingly slow pace. You were supposed to meet Joshua there according to Seungcheol (whom arranged the meeting without your consent— the male is gonna receive a beating from you later, for sure). To say you were ready to face Joshua would be a gigantic lie, but you can't back out now.

"I swear to god, the next time I see Seungcheol's face— he's gonna fucking get it." You continually muttered, passing through the hallways filled with numerous students. You could see a few weird looks thrown at your direction, causing your mood to sink down even further. Try being in my place for a day, will you?

A faint buzzing interrupts your incessant curses. Pulling out your phone, you let out a groan.

[seungcheol: psst hey hey

seungcheol: joshua's already there hehehe]

[you: 🖕]

A myriad of green foliage and blossoming flowers came into view. You pause for a while, letting out a long sigh. Alright, Y/N, you can do this. Joshua is literally one of the nicest people you've ever met. If anything wrong happens— there's a well nearby. After mustering up the slightest amount of courage you could manage to conjour, you made your way to the garden's entrance.

The smell of fresh flowers drown your senses. A few feet away, you could see Joshua sitting on one of the benches, arms crossed and eyes closed. He blends perfectly with the greenery; as if he belonged in the center of a painting scenery. The air around him is nothing but serenity— your previous foul mood dissolving into thin air upon seeing the sight.

You shake your head, snapping you out of your trance. Focus, Y/N. You're here to retrieve your letter, not to gawk at this devastatingly pretty boy without his consent no matter how tempting it could be— there's always a time for that. Focus.

Repeating the mantra in your head, you inched towards the resting male, careful to not disturb him on your way (the rocks on the ground made it quite a difficult task). Once you've reached him, you weren't sure what to do next. You pondered whether or not to say something to wake him up. A few seconds of silence pass until you finally decided to say something, but a low groan stopped you from doing so.

"Oh, Y/N. You're here."

Well shit. Goodbye, focus.

"Um, y-yeah. Have you been waiting long?" You stammered. Dear god, why did he have to say your name with that damned morning voice— it isn't even morning for fuck's sake. Your mental scolding continued until the male managed to stifle out a response in his half-asleep state.

"Mm, not too long," Joshua placed his palm over his mouth, letting out a yawn. "C'mon. Take a seat," he scooted over to give you room to sit on the bench. Slowly, you sat beside him. Despite being seated next to the male, you refused to look at him; your focus was entirely on the purple patch of forget-me-nots in front of you. You placed your hand on your chest in the hopes of calming down your erratic heartbeat. Y/N, you dumb bitch. The letter— you're here to bring back the letter, not to bring back your buried feelings for the damned male. Absolutely not, you reminded yourself once more.

Neither of the both of you say a thing. The once peaceful air was replaced with an uncomfortable touch of awkwardness. You decided to spare a quick glance at the male. But upon turning your head towards him, you were met by a pair of eyes as well. A flush of pink covers your cheeks at the sudden eye-contact and you instantly turned away. You could hear a slient cough coming from beside you and the sound of him shuffling in his seat.

Y/N, go say something, for god's sake.

You bit your bottom lip, thinking of the proper words to say to break the chilling silence.

"So, about the letter—"

"About the letter you sent—"

You slap your hand over your mouth, preventing you from saying anything any further. You cheeks began to flare a bright red even more. A small smile forms on Joshua's face as he lets out a gentle laugh from the exchange. "You go first."

Holy shit—. You mentally smacked yourself. Keep it together, Y/N.

"Um well," you bit the inside of your mouth, raising your head to look at the male (which was a really bad idea). He stared down at you, the corners of his mouth slightly lifted upwards and his eyes filled with nothing but a soft glint of attentiveness. In short, he almost murdered you with that stare.

You stifled out a cough, trying to get yourself back on track. "Actually, Joshua. That letter was written like, four years ago."

"I had a feeling it wasn't recent," Joshua smiled, his attention turning towards a nearby rose bush. "Your way of words in the letter seemed different from how you currently write."

"How—how would you know?" you gaped, eyes widening from the males remark. Joshua lets out a chuckle, still not facing you.

"Well, you are in the school paper. I read your works, sometimes," he hummed. He gives you a side glance, mouth still in the form a sweet, gentle smile. "It's hard not to, you know."

This guy is really out to kill me.

You wanted to punch yourself, but you couldn't do that without looking like some sort of weirdo in front of the male. Lightly slapping yourself in the face (without Joshua seeing, of course), you made yourself recall what you came here for.

"A-anyways. If you don't mind, Joshua, I'd like to have to letter back," you sputtered out. "Everything written there is all in the past so you don't have to worry about anything— I, uh, I don't like you anymore. At least not it that way."

Joshua remains silent for a while, pressing his lips together tightly. His expression is unreadable and you started to grow anxious by each passing second, staring at the male with an evident nervous look in your gaze. Did I say something wrong?

"Ah, is that so?" he spoke out and you nodded in response. Joshua hummed and reached for his pocket, pulling out the familiar yellow envelope. "Here," he handed it over to you, a slight smile plastered on his face, causing one to bloom on yours as well. You slowly took the item from his hand and held it tightly, giving him a grateful look.

"Thank you so much, Joshua."

"It's not a problem."

The male gave you a close-eyed grin, sending a surge of warmth all throughout your body. Time to yeet out of here, Y/N. Dont give into the devil's tempation.

You readied yourself to stand up and to take your leave, but a sudden but firm grip on your wrist prevented you from doing so.

"Y/N—," a flustered look shrouds Joshua's face and he immediately lets go of you. "Sorry, my bad," he scratches the crook of his neck and bashfully looks away from your direction.

"It's fine, Josh. Is there something on your mind?" you inquired, raising your brow at the male. He hesitantly opens his mouth but closes it once again. Your mouth forms into a slight frown. You don't know what was going inside the male's head, but as far as you've known him, he's always hesitated in doing things for his own self-satisfaction— he's always done what the people want, even at his own expense.

"Joshua," the male snaps out of his trance upon hearing the sound of your voice. "You don't have to be afraid to tell me anything— whatever it is, I'll listen."

Surprised at your sentiment, Joshua's eyes widen. He then trails his attention to the ground, taking in a long and deep breath. Slowly, he pulls his head up, eyes taking you in entirely.

"Y/N, if you don't mind," he pauses for a while, one of his hands playing with his sleeve. "I hope this won't be the last time that we talk to each other— of course, unless if you don't want to."

Joshua's eyes scan your face for any sign of discomfort and seems to relax just the slightest bit when he sees none. You weren't gonna lie— you nearly passed out because holy shit is he asking to my friend that's so adorable fuck. You breathed deeply, trying to calm your racing heart (courtesy of Mr. Hong Jisoo) and Joshua patiently waited for your response, anxiousness evident in his features.

"I'd like that, Josh," you tell the male, eyes gleaming and mouth smiling. Clearly, Joshua didn't expext that to be your answer. He was taken aback at first, but that changed almost immediately. Eyes formed into small crescents and the corners of his lips turned upwards, Joshua's blooming expression nearly puts the dozens of flowers in the garden to shame.

The sun was starting to set, giving everything a beautiful, orange warmth— and making Joshua look even more breath taking than before (in your defense, you could still admire people without harboring feelings for them, duh).

"It's getting late, isn't it?" Joshua mused, eliciting a soft hum from you in response. "Shall we get going?"

You gave him a quick nod and started to head over to the garden's exit with the male trailing behind you. You took your time taking each step, admiring the numerous blooms that are present in every corner (and maybe because you wanted to stay with the male a little longer, but you'd never admit that). Distracted by the gigantic patch of sunflowers on your left, you didn't notice a rather big rock right in front of you.

In short— you tripped.

You let out a high-pitched yelp, closing your eyes and waiting for the painful impact to come— but it didn't. Rather than being pulled straight into the bumpy ground, you were somehow pulled away from it, and with a faint thud, your head landed on a smooth and hard chest.

"Y/N are— are you alright?" Joshua questions, worry evident in his tone. You opened your eyes, raising your head to see the male who was only inches away. His hands landed on your shoulders, gripping you with a firm yet gentle hold. A light flush of pink spreads on your face and you scrambled away from the male.

"I—I'm fine, Josh, thank you" you coughed out.

"Are you sure?" he asks once more, brows furrowing with concern. "Do you want to go the infirmary?"

Infirmary? You nearly choked. Memories of last times mishaps surfaced inside your mind. The nurse pretty much hates you now, and going in with the same fucking guy you were literally hiding from would end up being absolutely awkward to the point that you could literally drown yourself in the awkwardness— that's not something you'd like to experience (you've had enough, thank you very much).

"No!" you exclaimed, surprising the male a little bit so you immediately toned yourself down. "I—I mean— it's not like I'm hurt or anything and it's all thanks to you, Josh. You were there to catch me on time so I didn't end up slamming into the ground or anything."

Joshua remains silent for a while, his eyes focused on you. You could feel your blush resurfacing and you averted your eyes from the male. He let out a sigh and spoke, ruffling your hair in the process.

"If you say so."