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#We watched Saving Face on valentine's day and my vid kept lagging and in those waiting moments we'd unfold the onion layers of tentative
winter-tospring · 2 years
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I want to thank my wife for making me see the color pink in a new light; making it a joyous event for me, instead of something I roll my eyes at. Associating it with her is the best thing that could have happened to my relationship to it. It's genuinely happy for me now, because I know it makes her happy. And I feel protective, and in that feeling, grows a defensive stubbornness to have more pink and more softness.
My heart just burstssss 💓with the desire to surround her with all the pretty things. With all the soft, blooming pink adornments i could find, to make her feel light, loved, and more precious than the stars.
I love that she's the softest soul I've ever known. I treasure her unabashed love of cute things, pretty, silly things I wouldn't have opened my heart to before. She's the smartest and most knowledgeable person I know, and her humor matching mine was like endless cherries on top of what I already was incredibly humbled to be a part of with her. There's something so grounding about the light-hearted moments; I really started realizing that in the past months. She makes me laugh all day, and she laughs with me, and even what I do and what I joke about can make her smile to tears. I'm starstruck by it, because she's a wonder to behold in those moments, and because it makes me feel so liked... I go shy in my heart, and smile to myself. One of the greatest joys.
I'm in awe that I get to know all parts of her, equally. Her resolution of spirit, her encyclopedic brain, her balm of a laugh, her lazy touch, her corny jokes, and so much more... To have known and adored her as someone online, then a friend, and to now know and adore her intimately, constantly makes me feel so privileged and wonderstruck.
She makes me look twice at simplicity, and awards my heart with beauty and meaning that I wouldn't have found had she not pointed to it. Trinkets, patterns, details, words, and actions; I think life is fizzing within her, and she cares so much because she can feel it all for how invaluable it is. She lives through the kind of heart I've aimed to carry in myself. I cultivate the thoughts to behave with intention, but she truly feels it all, second after second, and to watch her is to love life a thousandfold.
I try harder because of her, I wait longer because of her, I give my body pause for appreciation of what's around me, of what beauty could be found in it. I watch her watch things, and take notes. I give pause to more, in general, to feel the length of moments and savor them, and I start to understand that relaxing and nothingness have value in them, beyond preservation, or restoration. Sitting there with you is a treasure in itself. I know it, but my instincts take me out of what I know in my core to be true, for fear, that just being here wouldn't be enough. You brush fears gently with your warmth, and keep me embraced for long enough to feel, that I'm right where I should be.
She brightens everything with her gentleness and her uncorrupted stance in herself, which I admire so greatly. Seemingly uninfluenced by trends and outside opinion, she remains so effortlessly herself that her taste is truly hers, and it's so rare, and inspiring. She's like a true free spirit. She knows what she sees in things, and in others, and she's not afraid to compliment and acknowledge, even the smallest things. Victories are a many, every day, when you are around her. It's so light, so unburdened. All a continuation of communication and cooperation, and sadness, and comfort, and good faith, and care, leading us to all the finish lines we ever start.
I want her warmth to be held and celebrated for the gift that it is. I long to spend all my time embellishing her world the way she does mine. My love is hers, always deepening, filling endlessly with memories to look back on. I want more pictures than one can store, and I'm so happy about it. I used to delete without care, and now I want to overflow in folders of us.
I'm more affectionate than I could have ever been; I feel it become part of me, my hand reaching for her like that's what it's meant for. I feel the eyes beyond us becoming irrelevant. It gets easier and lovelier and more necessary each time I see her face again. It makes me so happy, and proud, and I know it's thanks to her.
I realized recently that I finally understand this thing about not knowing where the other person begins and where you end. Fade into you, you know. I understand. It's beyond words, constant when in her presence, unstated, but here, in me, between us. I feel complete, I feel peace, I'm at home with her. Nothing comes close to this.
I love you, infinitely, Dusty. I love choosing you, every single day. It's effortless; it's the thing that makes the most sense in the whole world. I'm so proud of you, and in love with you. 2 years of giggly disbelief that you love me too. I'm so lucky, @dustlines <3
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