#a (grand)parent's spit could clean rust off a bike

[guttersniper]

@quantumleapt​ said: [ clean ] Al being an Italian grandparent and wiping a smudge off of Mutt's cheek...

nonsexual acts.

when he turns, the furrow in his brow is so much an echo of sam, some stranger might think they really were of shared blood. he’s always been like that. picking up every little thing he notices about the people around them, many times without even fully realizing it. 

the quick upward jerk of his chin works as a replacement for words in acknowledgement of hearing his name, a sort of silent go on. al doesn’t look like he’s up to anything (mutt’s learned the signs), nor does he seem to be upset or hurt or uncomfortable (he’s learned those, too). he’s seconds away from opening his mouth to prompt him, maybe he forgot what he was going to say, but he swallows that when he notices al’s looking at him odd. 

instead: “ -- got something on my face? “ as a matter of fact, he does. a vague sniff, and a hand rose to scratch at the dirt-laden spot on his cheek. he goes entirely still when al approaches, and doesn’t even move a muscle -- it seems he’s even stopped breathing -- when he sees him lick his thumb, and put his unused hand on his shoulder to hold him steady. he stares, unblinking, following the finger as if he were in a doctor’s office and being asked to.

“ christ. “ mutt grunts, squirming away from the impromptu washcloth made of spit and the pad of his thumb. something adjacent to a smile kicks up one corner of his mouth. “ you’re gross. “ it’s teasing, and anybody who knows mutt and the things he’s been through knows not much manages to gross him out. he tugs the too-long length of his sleeve over his fingers, and rubs at the spot until he’s certain he got the worst of it. he never thought he’d one day spend more time properly clean than dirty, but. here he was. “ there. better? “

[lostinthe-pines-blog]

Pain Can Heal

One-Shot Story about Chris x MC dealing with Chris’s past abandonment and loss from his father and how it affects them now. 

My September 10th “Loss” addition to @i-dream-so-i-write ‘s September Fanfic Challenge ( @choices-september-challenge)

NOTE: This is a fictional story based on Pixelberry’s Choices App. *The Freshman books. I am not affiliated with Pixelberry nor do I own the rights to their original characters.

Late June, light breeze and a burning sun; not as bright as it would be in the following months but still burning like a growing fire. It didn’t matter how many years had past June would always haunt Chris. As the eldest sibling in his family he was the only one with a distinct memory of this month. Even now, with kids of his own late June hung over his head.

Looking crossed the cotton white sheets he saw her, the woman he’d fallen for, literally. Almost 12 years ago on the quad he’d bumped into the hazel eyed, auburn haired novelist he didn’t know he’d been dreaming about. He can remember every fight and every touch with her. He knows her every move and aspiration, even still in her thirties she wanted to take on the world. She inspired him.

Sometimes he still felt his heart skipped a beat just looking at her, and even more so these days. He loved looking at the forming smile lines and wrinkles that mirror his own as age became them.  In his two beautiful children he saw her come alive. But with late June looming over his head the thoughts and memories fell back to his childhood.

Chris had been trained on the streets surrounding his house, he’d learned every house every neighbor and every route home from his elementary school. Summer had just begun, he’d be going into the fifth grade in the coming fall and he fully intended on making him and his misfit friends the kings of the playground. They needed to take advantage of the jungle gyms and allowed recesses before they were stolen from them by the growing of age. He road his bike around the blocks waving to Mr. and Mrs. Prince the elderly couple who’d given him this bike when their own grand kids had grown out of it. As he approached his house as the sun began to fade he admired the home, it was small but it was his. Chris loved his life, the cares and worries of the world had yet to sink into him, but they would. Sooner than he thought. Looking up his driveway he noticed his Father's old red truck missing, strange but not enough to worry him. He ditched his bike near the front steps of his house running inside quickly. There was a tone in the air that even a child could feel.

“Mom, I’m back” he called kicking off his dirt covered tennis shoes. Not noticing the many shoes now missing from the pile behind the door. He noticed his little sister, almost one years old sleeping in portable crib, most of his friends had mocked their sisters but he loved his. She was small and gross with her screaming and spitting. He was fascinated by her. Continuing his walk through the small entryway he heard a noise that his innocent and young ears should never have had to hear. The sound was chilling the cries of his mother, the noise was laced with pain and tears as she screamed not knowing her eldest had entered. The sound unfamiliar still startled the young boy as he wandered to the kitchen finding his mother, head in her knees sitting against the light tan wood and rusting hinged cabinets.

“Mom?” he asked again, he’d only seen tears like that come from the infant in the next room. The eyes that loved him, the eyes that tucked him in at night were now tear stained and red staring up at him shocked.

“Christopher!” she spoke startled through her shaking breath, Lily, Chris’s mother had her own emotional past. She’d become good at hiding her pain, only showing it when completely necessary. As she saw her son she also saw him, she saw the man who only hours ago had left her life, forever. She wiped her tears quickly pushing back the anger that her ten year old had instilled in her with nothing but the features of his face. She knew he was not his father, and her current state was not a sight her son deserved to see. She stood quickly hiding her emotions though her legs felt like broken twigs. “Chris, I’m sorry… How were your friends.. I..” she trailed trying to find a perfect excuse for why she was sprawled out on the kitchen floor.

Chris would learn a lot about growing up and what it meant in the coming months but for right now the only reference he had for what he was supposed to do in this moment was the memories of his siblings as infants. When they cried his parents would hug them, so his small and growing mind did just that. He ran over to his mother hugging around her stomach where his height had landed him, he closed his eyes squeezing tight and hugging her to stop the crying as she had when he was younger.

“Good morning” The weak sound of MC’s voice spoke as the familiar greys of her eyes met with his own. Chris had taken a business trip for two weeks and last night had been his first night home. He longed for her warmth every single day, he couldn’t imagine walking away from her as his father had his own mother.

“It’s June 26th” he spoke letting the blues of his eyes fade darker with is tone, this pain of loss what something Chris would never shake. Not as a 15 year old, nor as a college student and now as a parent he still questioned his father's actions.

“I know.” MC said pulling her hand from the covers of the bed and placing it gently crossed his cheek. “And you’re Christopher Powell.” she smiled “You’re a father, and a husband and you have a wife who does not fear you. Your last name does not belong to him, it belongs to us, to the Powell family you’ve created”

“We’ve created” he corrects her softly.

She shows her white teeth now moving closer to kiss him softly as she pulls away her face winces with a sharp pain.

“MC?” Chris asks worried now, but his face softens when her pain turns to laughter.

“Guess our baby is awake too.” she smiles taking his hand his her own and placing it on her stretched abdomen. “Only a little over a week before she makes her appearance, a family of five, do you think we’re ready?” she jokes.

“More than ready.” he lies with confidence, ever since she’d told him she was pregnant last fall he’d worried more and more about his family's history.

Frank Powell was a father of 3, two young sons and a bouncing baby girl. The families around the block admired his masculinity. The young Powell lovers had made a life for themselves in the backstreets of Maine. He worked every day for his family and Lily too. She’d been teaching piano lessons and tutoring the kids from neighborhoods far richer than her own. Frank would come home at the same time every day, and not a minute later. He’d kiss his wife first and then his eldest son moving next to the truly neglected middle child and ruffling his hair. It the final months before he left he’d add a tickle to the infant girl usually wrapped in his wife's arms. There was no sign of straying, no sign of unhappiness. Frank had become very good at hiding his doubts, fears and emotions.  But one day, he snapped in more than just a mental way. It was years before Lily told her son the full truth behind the events of June 26th. But Chris as an 18 year old readying himself for college life was old enough in her eyes to know now...

“Senior year wasn’t easy to you but I think you came out on top.” Lily spoke as she spread a thin layer of butter crossed an only slightly burnt piece of toast. The breakfast she’d made her son everyday since the first day of kindergarten. “I can’t believe you head off to Hartfeld next week.” she spoke laughing through the pain that it caused her. “Mom, I’m only 6 hours away and I’m going to call you at least once a week, probably even more.” Christopher spoke taking the breakfast from his mother, he wasn’t foolish he noticed the tone changing in her over the past few weeks. He knew that he looked like his father, that his blue eyes haunted his mother for the rest of his life. He was aware that him leaving would bring back unwanted memories, the scars on her heart were aching with the idea of it. He didn’t realize the details being unveiled to him as their conversation continued but he almost believed he was living in that moment, seeing things the way his mother had seen them...

Lily had started to notice her husbands attitude change over the course of the past weeks, he became more tidy and quiet. He’d been cleaning and organizing all his things like he’d never done before. She didn’t want to question it, figured it was the result of stress from work. Regardless of his change in behavior he still seemed overjoyed at the sight of his children, especially his youngest, his perfect newborn girl.  When Lily woke on June 26th that year she didn’t expect at all the events of the day. She tied Chris’s shoes and sent him off on his bike for the day, he was supposed to be meeting with friends a few blocks away. She trusted him to make his way back in time for dinner. Her youngest son, the recent 5 year old was always dropped off at Daycare by his father before work, so when his room was empty she knew right where he was. She was going to be home almost completely alone just her and little Josephine who’d been a refreshingly calm child compared to her older brothers. She planned a trip to the grocery store which ended up tuning into running countless errands and taking hours out of what was supposed to be a relaxing day.

When she arrived back home she was shocked to find the red pick up truck in the driveway, she’d fallen in love inside that truck, it’d created so many happy memories for her and today it would unknowingly create the most painful of her memories. So shocked to see it there mid day she didn’t even acknowledge the back end full of boxes.

“Frank?!” she called, “What are you doing home?” she quickly placed Josephine in her crib and searched the house for her husband. Turning to climb up the stairs she saw him at the top, two large suitcases in hand. Her heart sunk in that moment, she began to notice things missing from her home, but nothing that was hers. She swallowed hard the dryness of her throat like sandpaper. “Going away on business?” she questioned, knowing she was wrong.

“Lilian.” Frank said flatly, it was almost disconnected, he’d never called her Lilian not since they’d met, she’d always been his Lily Flower. “I’m leaving.” he spoke stepping down the stairs not thinking twice about pushing past her. But Lily wasn’t weak, she was stronger than most women, it’d been what Frank found most attractive about her. Lily was quick to block the bottom of the stairs. Her voice shaky and hard now.

“Why!” she yelled letting denail set in, as her stages of grief began.

“The family is better off with out me. I’ve made my choice Lilian, move.” Frank spat back at her, showing an unfamiliar anger in his eyes.

“No! We’re a team, we work through things, we have three kids what am I supposed to do? You’re leaving me with them alone! What kind of man does that make you?!” she screamed now rambling in her panic, her face only inches from his own.

“I’m half the man you deserve, half the man these kids deserve.” he said his head hanging low as frustration built in him. “Now move I won’t ask again.” he voice dark.

“I won’t. I can’t” Lily responded and she wasn’t lying her body and mind in shock she felt as if she was trapped where she stood “I love you.” she said softly in a last a desperate attempt to keep him with her.

“I no longer can say the same.” he said his familiar blue eyes now black with regret. Something in him was different now and he used it against her, pushing her harshly aside as she banged her body into the banister. The harshness of the force had him touching her in ways he’d never done before, his hands that were full of hate and would leave bruises on her for weeks reminding her that the husband she knew was gone forever.

Losing her balance at the attack of his hands she fell to the ground watching him walk out the door, she came too soon enough to watch his red truck leave forever, to watch the memories of her college years in the bed of that useless medal fade away. She collapsed to complete nothingness on the floor of the kitchen where she’d stay for hours before the best man she knew, -no matter what his age- came to save her.

Chris listened to the hidden secrets of that day, he’d never felt so sorry for his mother before, he’d always known her to be strong and independent since then. But he’d never known that she carried injuries with her that were more than just mental. “Are you going to be okay?” Chris asked.

Lily knew her son, she knew family was the most important thing to him and that he would give up everything he’d worked for just to be with them still. She was sad to watch him leave, to watch him grow. But she knew he needed to go. Tears pooled around her eyelids at the end of her story as she nodded to her strong son “Yeah.” she smiled as her squinting eyes let the tears spill over. “We’ll be okay Chris, we’ll certainly miss you but we’ll be okay.” Lily said turning to nurse her coffee as she had for so many mornings before.

MC saw through the lies of her husband, but didn’t dwell on them. June 26th was not the day to dwell, it hadn’t been. Not since she met him, she’d made a point to make every June a celebration of how far he’d come. Of the accomplishments he’d made without the need of a father. “I love you Chris.” she smiled now sitting up in bed just in time to meet the small face peeking through the door.

“And what do we have here…” Chris asked sitting up staring back the small blue eyes walking toward him. His eldest, Claire. The little girl who softened his already soft heart. The two of them shared may traits, his sandy blonde hair and his bright blue eyes. While the soon to be middle child shared the traits of his mother.

“Good morning!” the seven year old beamed climbing up onto the bed and finding her rightful place on her father's lap. “Hows my little sister” Claire smiled at her mother placing her hands on her large stomach.

Chris could help but chuckle at the sight of it, it wasn’t because it was funny by any means. It was sweet, to sweet and his laughter had come out of his pure happiness. He quickly wrapped his strong arms around his daughter. A girl who’d inherited the sarcasm of her mother.

Dramatically she reached for air gasping, “You’re choking me!!” Claire screamed with laughter “I can’t go on!” she laughed as the tight arms around her turned to tickles. Her playful yells filled the air of the entire house, and it wasn’t long before her 4 year old brother Gabriel joined them on the bed.

The family was picture perfect, something from a book or a movie. They were happy, an emotion that the two parents had been certain to instill in their kind hearted offspring. Gabe jumped up and down despite the hesitation from his mother, Chris’s strong arms wrapped both of the rambunctious children up squishing them together. When he released them they all sprawled out on the bed. Claire’s hand landing near her mother she pulled away quickly shocked by the change of texture in the sheets, before looking to her father.

“Mom wet the bed!” she mocked playfully.

Chris looked over to MC who now wore shock in her eyes as she held her stomach, a smile wiped crossed her face as she knew the hours to come would be long. “It’s time.” she grinned nodding to Chris “Family of five here we come.”

“Everyone off the bed!” he yelled as the children scrambled to the thick carpeted floor. “To your rooms, go change go! Go! Go!” Chris instructed them “Operation baby sister is in full swing.” as the kids ran to their rooms he watched as his beautiful bride climbed from the bed. It wasn’t long before he was on his feet and at her side.

MC wasn’t in any discomfort yet as her water had only just broken. She’d done this twice before, she knew how to listen to her body. She was completely calm but found it comical again how worried and unaware her husband was now and had been with the two children before.

“June 26th?” she laughed taking his hand tightly in hers.

“June 26th.” he smiled in return.

This day would no longer hold loss and pain for him. He would no longer have to think about the abandonment and selfishness of his father. Late that evening almost on the turn of the date to the 27th he and MC welcomed their newest child into the world. Even through her tears, sweat and pain MC was happy. She was happy for her family, for her husband and for the day that her sweet little girl had decided to arrive. Chris had been clear since learning the sex of the child that he only had one name for her. Lilian. MC didn’t fight it, she thought it was truly perfect.