#also I'm reading the novel and book!LSS is much much worse just as much as book!TTJ is

[silverloreley]

I was skipping/fast forwarding bits of TTEOTM episodes (for reasons related to my fic E&L) and I think I just understood something I didn't at first. I feel very stupid right now for not to, but at the same time, I wonder if others missed that bit too so I want to share.

So, we're in the Immortal Sects arc, ep 32, and this pivotal moment happens (forgive my low-quality screenshots):

Susu proceeds to deny she ever was Ye Xiwu and, although it's clear it pains her (we saw she was in as much pain as he was during their later scene when she rejects him and their past, comparing it to a dream they must wake from), I couldn't quite understand the full reasons for such complete rejection, only to change her mind later on... just because the truth has been revealed? It's clear she didn't resent him any longer at this point, so why this? It felt like there was something I was missing.

And then we have this:

And she also says that she can't tell him who she is for now. And I wonder... why?

But, before that, in ep 31 we have this:

and then again this:

And here I have my answer: Susu is worried she won't be able to suppress and contain the Evil Bone, that it could prevail on her and escape her control. We saw that the Devil God's weapons are drawn to the Evil Fetus, therefore we can speculate if the Evil Bone could find its way back to him it would. Susu can surely guess that much and her fear is that he can go back to the start and the Devil God will return even after all they've been through (and, uh, she's right, in a way) because she had not reached a solution to keep it in check yet. She hopes the Heartless Way will help her, but it'll be a lengthy procedure and she needs him away from her until she's sure she can do it.

This means her mission still comes first, yes, as I guessed upon my first watching, but not only! She does it for him too! To keep him away from the Devil's artifacts (and we saw in ep 32 she doesn't hesitate to help him fight them) so he's spared his sad fate. She's still in self-sacrificial mood (which she'd later pass on TTJ, she actually taught him that!), still all taken in by her lifetime mission and doesn't hesitate to get hurt herself, like she always did, do to it, even, and perhaps even more so, when she knows she loves him.

And, nothing I wanted to share this.