#also a significant reason as to why why i'm obsessed with schmicago this season obviously

[septembersghost]

completely unrelated question to anything going on but have you ever seen cabaret? (either the 1972 movie or any of the musical productions (i.e. 1983 or 2014 with alan cumming))

ah, cabaret and i have a long and storied history. a difficult one in certain ways emotionally/thematically (never have i felt more like i was going to be sick in a theatre than at the punch that closes "if you could see her," which is exactly the point!), yet with songs that i adore and will listen to and sing around the house at the drop of a hat. i have seen the movie several times (and own it! bob fosse's direction, LIZA, joel grey, legends all), i own the soundtrack and the 1998 revival cast recording, i've seen a bootleg of an alan!emcee production though atm i cannot recall who played his sally (i've also seen pieces of michael c. hall's performance in the role), i've sung "maybe this time" onstage, and i've seen it live locally - it was following that perfectly marvelous production of cabaret that my mom and i had the car accident that ultimately ended my life as i knew it, we went specifically for my theatre class (my professor co-directed the production and i was going to write a paper on it, instead i had to drop out of college...something something start by admitting from cradle to tomb, it isn't that long a stay!). it has really weird significance in my life, my mom has trauma around it, but i still have this dark love and fascination towards it. kander and ebb's musical work for it is so genius (as of course it is for chicago too), everything fosse infused it with both on broadway and on film is so iconic that it's almost taken for granted what an influence he had (chair-eography, anyone?). that sharp contrast between the brightness of the facade and the terror and tragedy lurking everywhere beneath it, the inescapable cynicism choking the desperate desire for something more akin to hope. lady peaceful, lady happy, that's what i long to be...

if you truly want insight into my character - my fingernails are literally painted green at this very moment. if anyone should ask why, i'd say, "i think it's pretty. i think it's pretty, i reply!" sally bowles my manic beloved