#also nailah's conflict between internal and external perceptions my beloved

[crowdsourcedloner]

What is your character's relationship like with their body? Are they confident in who they are, or do they experience any kind of dysphoria (not just limited to gender but, if they do, feel free to explain why that is)? Do you think this relationship has the capacity to improve or worsen over time?

(this is long lol. be warned.)

Yomi has the happiest relationship with her body, relatively speaking. She is proud of being au ra, she loves the shape of her horns, and she'll trace her own scales for comfort. The only discomfort she experiences is more related to loneliness - she doesn't have auri friends in Ul'dah so she has difficulty finding scale care supplies or receives strange looks for trying to affectionately horn bonk her adoptive family. To their credit, her adoptive sibling Zezene wears a pair of catoblepas horns to help her feel less alone, which has worked surprisingly well. She's decently confident in her appearance, though it's tempered by a healthy dose of modesty. The only way for her to feel even more comfortable with herself would be to get a few auri friends, but barring that its more likely she'll stay at the same level of self confidence.

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Zezene is generally happy with their body. They were born female, but they don't have a strong attachment to any gender identity and greatly prefer being androgynous in presentation. They've considered what life would be like in a man's body, but came to the conclusion that nothing would change for them regarding their self image if they were physically male. Luckily them being a lalafell means there's not much of a physical difference either way. They radiate an easy confidence about themself that's more sincere than any word they say, and there's not much room for that view to improve. The rare dysphoria they do feel comes more from others assuming they are female by their name and addressing them as such, but this is increasingly rare as their reputation outpaces their activities.

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Verre views her body as a tool, albeit one that's very well worn. She's comfortable in her skin to the point of not paying attention to it most of the time - she only let Yomi mess with her hair at first because she noticed it after the fact. There is room for her self confidence to go either way, but as her story is now she becomes more confident in her abilities rather than her appearance. In her eyes, why should she care for the appearance of a wrench if it does it's job?

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Nailah has had a rocky relationship with herself overall, and her body is no exception to this. She dislikes having her appearance commented on in any way and, fearing insincerity or mockery, quickly dismisses compliments. Mirrors have a habit of showing her the tired and scared woman she is rather than the hardened mercenary she wants others to see, and she's avoided them almost religiously for years. She sees her arms as too thin, her chest as too small, her tail as too long, her height as too short - every part of her isn't good enough in her eyes.

One of the biggest conflicts regarding how she sees her body is how she scars - or rather, how she doesn't. Her body has an incredible amount of aether which, combined with her own skill at magick, means the overwhelming majority of her injuries are healed with no visible scars. She can feel them littering her body under her fur, and if someone were to touch her they would likely feel them as well, but an outsider wouldn't see what she knows is there. She has long since lost track of where each scar is from, but each passing remark of her coming out "unscathed" from one job or another rubs in a sense of wrongness that she can't shake.

It isn't until she's well established as the Warrior of Light and started opening up to the people around her that she's started reevaluating how she sees her body - going from absolute self loathing and disgust to something approaching neutrality. She's still very uncomfortable around compliments and reflective surfaces, and formal dress events or balls inspire dread and fear like no other, but she's slowly improving.