#and I've chosen 78 down from 328 JUST SO FAR

[infinitethree]

OOC::

So I'm working on putting the Blood & Gold playlist of 5x songs per chapter (for a total of 150 songs, no repeats) into a good order. All the songs are picked out, it's just a matter of making it flow well.

BUT IN THE MEANTIME.

I'm gonna share my two (yes there are two) "credits" songs for Blood & Gold. These are the songs that I feel most strongly represent the fic as it stands at the end of chapter 30.

Things We Lost In The Fire is, to me, Dream and Tommy watching the world around them go up in (metaphorical) flames. Tommy lit the match; Dream can only watch as everything turns to ash around them.

And before he can even process that loss, even Tommy is gone-- taken away, stolen in a split second.

He's left cataloguing everything that he lost in that blaze, Tommy included.

Tommy tries to methodically label and incinerate everything he wishes he could forget. He wants to be rid of all the memories and feelings he has; maybe, even if it was all ash, he wouldn't feel so empty.

Fire being how Tommy destroyed the claims was, funnily enough, a connection I made literally yesterday.

Of the two, "More Time" is stronger. I get emotional every time I hear it, just a lil bit, because I can so so so so SO perfectly picture a shot of the remaining characters as they stand when the fic ends.

Tommy and Innit are gone-- off to a place far, far away from everything they ever knew. Tomm'y's plea for more time is to have more days spent believing he would have everything he ever wanted. He longs to have more time with Tubbo, more time with his mentor before the betrayal, more time sure that the only choice he could possibly make would be to take his rightful place as an admin at Dream's side. He wants more time with a clear purpose, a goal to strive towards. All he has now is what's in his inventory, bitterness, and his wits.

Dream begs for more time to have everything back to how it should be. He wants his server whole again, yes, but most crucially he wants his protege back. He wants to have the quiet surety of Tommy's presence at his side; he wants to have the awe in Tommy's eyes again. He wants to go back to when everything was simple-- he wants to reach through time and shake his stupid, stupid past self, and make him see the light. He wants any light at all. Everything is so cold and dark-- everywhere he goes, it feels agonizingly empty. He wants more time with his happiness. He wants more time with Tommy's happiness, and trust, and warmth.

Sapnap wants more time to understand. He doesn't know what happened, where and when and why why why everything went wrong. It feels like yesterday that his best friends were at his side. It feels like yesterday that he had two boyfriends who he thought were both good people. It feels like yesterday that he and Tubbo would hang out and take some small, cold comfort in each other understanding the strange loss of their closest friends shutting them out and pulling away. He wants more time to somehow unlock the truth. He wants to know what he could have done to stop it all. He wants go back to when he believed he and his friends would be together forever. A time before Wilbur, or Tommy, or even before anyone else joined the server. Maybe if he could go back, he could stop everything from going wrong.

I can picture Dream sitting alone in the empty server (in his empty base, in the ruins of the paradise he thought he could build) and screaming out, begging the universe or the gods or ANYTHING to give him more time. It's an extremely vivid mental image that is likely to cause at least one person psychic damage! :)

The only other song that I REALLY strongly associate with this fic is, funnily enough, another Crane Wives song.

"Margaret" is the anthem of chapter 27. It's Tommy and Innit putting their determination to the test, and of them laying out their plans.

Margaret waits, and so do Tommy and Innit.