#and also I'll be buying a little locket necklace to put that leaf in.
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see I like to say I don't believe in ghosts. BUT. Maybe I do a little, sometimes
#first of all I know I have messages from friends I will be probably not replying to them for a little bit because I am presently emotional#I will get back to you in 15-30 minutes probably. i just need a little bit of time and quiet#a very important person in my life who was absolutely crucial to what I'm doing with my life passed away this spring#& the Very Important Thing that I'm doing on Thursday is very much related to said what I'm doing with my life#as I'm packing for the trip (leaving tomorrow morning) I feel a little lump in a pocket in one of my bags and dig my hand in there to get i#and it's a little crumpled tissue with a little dried up leaf in it and it takes me a moment of ?#and then I'm hit with this really vivid memory of. at their funeral I had a small bouquet and one of the leaves fell off.#and I wrapped it in that tissue and put it in that bag#aiming to throw it away later.#I must have just... forgotten. and then never even noticed. until now.#and I feel like that was them. I feel like there has to be a meaning to why I found that NOW because I use that bag like.. fairly frequentl#so yeah I think that was them. reaching out. and saying you are going to do good and you are going to be fine and I am proud of you.#and I really think they would be proud of me too. to be honest sometimes it's what keeps me going.#I feel like what they taught me and the wisdom they passed down to me gave me purpose. and I have to fulfil that purpose.#and also I'll be buying a little locket necklace to put that leaf in.#z talks#not horse game
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