#and could go unanswered just like in the tiny Dendarii mountain towns. Mom's therapist knows all about it.) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aceofthegreenajah · 8 months

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Thinking about Mountains of Mourning got me rereading it again for the millionth time. Every time I think, 'surely by now it has no hold of me? I know every turn it takes, can damn near recite parts of it.' And here I am, sobbing.

The story itself is beautiful, the language is gorgeous, but there is also something in the setting that speaks to me personally.

Our family farm is in a community smaller than silvy vale, and has been in the family for at least a couple of centuries. It's in the least populated and most backwater part of the country. And my country itself is small and insignificant, sparsely populated, mostly wilderness. In the eyes of some we may be backwater forest folk, tough as our land and just as stuck in our ways.

And I am a very tied-to-the-earth person. I am at home barefoot in the forest, fishing in the lakes, foraging in the swamps, working with animals, chopping wood. These forests are my forests, this land is my land. I was born on it and if I have to be buried, I want to be buried in it. I've never wanted to leave for better pastures. I've wished I could hold my home and my people up.

So though I cry for the beauty of the language and the message, and the grief of the plot, I also cry for the happy ending that Silvy Vale receives.

#Ah I miss our family land #I remember staying there for months as a kid and never once seeing an outsider #the community has been bleeding out people longer than i've been alive #when my mom was a kid there was still a school and a general store in the closest town now those are gone too #no-one wants to stay where healthcare may take hours to get to and there are basically no jobs #catching/gathering our own food during summer was what we did when i was a kid because we were poor #(mom and me in spesific not all of the family #but none of them were rich)#but doing it year-around is a shortcut back to starvation times #anyway i get why people wanted away - i don't live there for several reasons - but i wish it was different. i wish i could move back.#i wish there was someone still running our family farm. it's still our land - though some of mom's cousins own it now - but it's abandoned #(it is also a place where once upon a time #hurts and crimes could only be committed by family #and could go unanswered just like in the tiny Dendarii mountain towns. Mom's therapist knows all about it.)#vorkosigan saga #mountains of mourning #mountains of mourning spoilers #vorkosigan saga spoilers #probably

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