#and get at least half of act two done before y'all sneak up on me >:O

[heavensdog]

The stats screen was pretty cool to see in and of itself! >_

Aaah, thank you ;////; I’m glad! My plan is for the MC’s stats to be in flux through chapter five (which is the end of the current arc), so I hope I can balance things well

The core stat for Pure and Gentle is “righteousness”; originally, the stats were going to be called “Righteous” and “Merciful” but then I thought about how many anime protags there are getting called nonesense things like “pure” and “gentle” when their actions seem on the surface to be Anything But (I finished reading Shaman King in the last year or so and that’s a really good example. Hao is pure??? Ren is gentle???) and what those actually meant in that context, and then I thought that would be a good dynamic to explore in Heaven’s Dog, which is about anger and good intentions that feel more like a burden and a wall than something worthwhile, and being unable to let go of those good intentions even though they’re hurting you, because they’re such a core part of you that you’d be lost without them.

“Pure” is for MCs who are very sure of what is right and wrong, and determined to defend what is right while being slow to accept what they see as wrong in another person. For a Pure MC, they can always do better, and they always need to push themselves to do better, and they see other people the same way -- and if it gets out of hand, that could be very, very bad, but in moderation it’s also really important because without it you’ll just let innocents get hurt and yourself get hurt and etc.

“Gentle” is for MCs who are very receptive to the idea that other people are doing their best, and that the world is ultimately kind and that if you extend the hand of friendship enough times eventually someone will reach back; they can’t give up on the people around them because those people are who they’re fighting for, but at an extreme, it can be hard to distinguish between “good” and “bad” because you could be in that other person’s shoes if you’d just taken a wrong turn somewhere.

This is a bit of a tangent, but I’m planning for there to be three loose “paths” for the MC to follow -- I’ve only plotted out the middle path, and the others are still sort of percolating, but they each tie into an extreme of “righteousness” conceptually (a high righteous or low righteous character is not necessarily bound to either role, though! that would be unfair); the first is the “punishment route” which is a tragedy (it’s meant to be more cathartic than rewarding) where the MC gives into their anger and purity and destroys everything they can’t accept; the second is the “natural” route, where the MC seals away a great evil and manages to find peace with their place in the world, and chooses where they want to belong, etc, and the third is the “redemption” arc, where the MC is driven by compassion and mercy to redeem Phantome du  Mirage, despite everything she’s done, and that last route is more about the question that’s been on my mind for the last few years, as someone who hardcore favors redemption: if everyone can be saved, how do you save them without hurting the people they’ve hurt?

Thank you so much for asking! (And for . . . listening to me prattle about things haha)

[kerenitychan]

this is stupid lol but like , i've been drawing everybody wearing the friendship bracelets so i feel like i owe y'all an explanation as to why the *fuck* squid would be wearing/have made one in the first place. i'm still working of a picture of the gang actually making them but yeah. basically the friendship bracelets act as a "you see this squid? , this is a symbol of you're stuck with us and we have your own permission to kick your butt if you act like a jerk" they don't wear them a lot cus, ya know all them bracelets can be kinda uncomfortable and annoying but they do wear em every now and then especially when they've planned an outing cus friendshippp

" BECAUSE I LIKE YOU! " Squidward heaved , trying to catch the breath he lost in his tantrum as he defeatedly locked eyes with the man before him . Spongebob scoffed. He wasn't even sure anymore when the fight started or what it was about but it sounded like his teal haired opponent was reduced to his last trump card, again. The one he knew would usually defeat the sponge, but not this time. He was so tired of this. " Yeah yeah I know, *hmpf* 'you don't really hate me' even if you regularly remind me. And maybe somewhere deep down you can stand me. I get it Squid you have that revelation twice a year, it's getting old. " He sighed crossing his arms as he tore away his gaze to look at the floor in disappointment whilst the other blinked before reaching out, more in an attempt to materialize answers from thin air then anything else, as he started again, still panicked and frustrated. " H- no! It's not....Agh! Look I don't! UGH  why do you have to make this so DIFFICULT! " " I'M making this difficult!? This ...this-this SHERADE has been going on for 10 years squidward! " Cerulean eyes pierced trough carmine ones with a look of rage, confusion, and frustration as the man threw up his freckled arms in desperation before they slunk back to his sides with a huff of defeat. To which the guilty scowl on the cephalopods face deepened. " Look I-ugh. I was TRYING to say that I like you. Not just that I don't hate you, which I also don't... do? Too many negatives. ANYWAY...I...I uhm....I don't like admitting defeat I- I uh, I guess... ehm an-  and I have a  hard time accepting things sometimes ... and I guess- I guess I just bottle things up until I explode... " He grimaced and looked around, vaguely gesturing . " Which is why we're discussing this stuff at 3 AM in the pattyvault instead of at home like normal people, ...I guess. " Sponge blinked a bit snapping out of it...oh yeah, right, squid was sneaking out and eating patties behind everyone's backs instead of ordering one every now and then like a ding dang normal person because for SOME INSANE REASON  he seems to insist people will ... will... NEPTUNE KNOWS WHAT HE THINKS PEOPLE WILL DO WHEN THEY FIND OUT HE LIKES PATTIES! HE'S JUST BEING SO- SO ARGHHHG! That last grunt escaped it's mental confides and rolled out between the gap of his buckteeth. " I just. I don't get it Squidward you ALWAYS do this. With everything!!! With anything you KNOW is fun!!! With everyone you know you actually like!!!  with....     With me...  Forget it, I'm just gonna...  go count the sesame seeds, I suppose.  Just... Don't fill up on patties until you explode again. " He turned around shaking his head with a sigh to head to his destination, but was brought to a halt by a suction cupped hand wrapping around his wrist " Spongebob wait!" A sigh. A grimace. A deep breath. " I. Am. Sssorry.  There, I said it, I'm sorry! I don't want whatever this is to keep going either! I just.... I am.... I am afraid of change, I guess?  You always say things will be fine but what if they're not???  I'm not lucky like you Sponge!  Destiny always seems to want good things for you but my karma is ATROCIOUS.  KELP! I could land in a hospital just for thinking about my karma! "  " Well then that's even more reason to try!!! Your "karma" wont get better if you don't! " " Ugggghhh I, You- This-  GAH! Can we talk about this some other time!? All I'm gonna get out at this rate  is more nonsensical rambling I'm gonna regret saying because: It's LATE, I'm EXHAUSTED and I STILL haven't     had a darn krabby patty! " " Then just eat the darn thing and get on with it because I'm not letting you chicken out again! "  " Can you at least close the door for a minute and give me some privacy! "  " YOU ARE GOING TO EAT A 🐬ING BURGER,WHAT PRIVACY!? " Oh... wow... a... that was... that was a swear. ....Spongebob just swore. ......uh-oh. Squid's really gotten himself thrown in the deep end now. He gulped nervously before submissively nodding and taking a bite of his burger... oh sweet mother of pearl it was good!  Neptune! Why does he always deprive himself of things he wants so bad?  Oh, right. Because he always has to make a big show of telling everyone that he actually hates the things he likes and he would DIE of mortification if he ended up having to admit defeat like a.... like a loser. With a light shake of his head he brushes off the thoughts and focuses on savoring the taste of his burger... 1 because he really needed one and wants to enjoy it. And 2 because ...ehm... he's a tad scared for what awaits him when he's finished. Spongebob was rarely enraged to the point of screaming,.. to the point of swearing and when he was he was a force to be reckoned with, Squidward knew that much. He peeked over in between bites to see his colleague standing there, arms crossed and impatiently tapping his foot, he was scowling so hard his buckteeth were hidden behind a pout and his eyes were squinted to half their normal size.  " How is it? " It was near impossible to gauge what kind of reaction the blonde wanted by his intonation, he was curt, near emotionless, ... Sarcastic? Squidward gulped down what he was chewing and smiled sheepishly.  " Just as good as I remember...heh. " " Hmmhmm. I bet. " Oh boy. With another awkward chuckle squid finished his burger before taking a deep breath.  " Had your fill? " " Heh, eh y-yeah. I kinda want more but I don't want a repeat of the last time. " " 3 times. " " H-huh? " " you loaded up on patties until you had to be hospitalized THREE TIMES. " The freckled man's gaze got the octopus who normally towered over him shrinking in shame before him. Just a little short of going into a fetal position.

" Why do you do this Squidward? What on earth does karma have to do with you being a stubborn seamule about things until they go horribly wrong!?  You could just order a damn patty every now and then, EVERYBODY loves krabby patties, no one would blame you! But no mr. Tentacles is too good for a krabby patty, mr. Tentacles would rather be miserable until         the kettle boils over and he loses control! " That got a huff out of the other who gathered some courage to stand up straight and glare back. " That mocking mr. Tentacles talk is exactly why! Because I am trying to uphold an image here, and the moment I don't live up to it I know damn well that everybody here will jump on the opportunity to remind me that      I'm just a poser! That I'm not actually the hot shit I pretend I am! That I'm lucky they even tolerate me breathing the same water! That I should feel honored anyone is willing to admit they're acquainted with me! That   I don't actually have any talent! That I'm....that I'm just.... That I'm a nobody! A filthy peasant! A wannabe show-off! That I'm a-a ... a...  That I'm a LOSER.  " Squidward clenched his fists, sniffling trough heavy breaths, he's not sure when it happened but he started crying. Oh Neptune this is humiliating. He feels kinda dizzy, oh please don't ink! This is bad enough as it is! As he looked up defeatedly his eyes met blue ones, glittering from the moisture collecting in them as a scowl made way for a worried frown. Great, somehow sympathy felt worse then rage. " Squidward... " " No, please just...  don't. That's what I meant with 'I'm just going to ramble'. Pretend I didn't say anything. I gah- " He yelped as he suddenly found himself in a tight embrace. Of course. He grunted uncomfortably and squirmed a bit trying to break free from the surprisingly strong hold his normally rather weak companion had. " Sponge I'm serious let's just pretend tha- " " Nu-uh! We, we're done pretending anything! Squid please! Talk to me about these things! " Two watery blue eyes look up at him, accompanied by a deep frown and trembling lip that only deepen the pained feeling in the octopus's chest. " Please. I'm here for you Squidward. " Gahhhh why does he always! Why is this always so! And he just! And, oh blowfish. He's crying again. " That's the damn problem here ! You have Patrick and Sandy and your parents and whatever stupid friends you made in your clubs to fall back on if you mess up! I..... " He sighs and against his better judgements, feels himself lamely hugging back, tiredly resting his chin in fluffy bottle blonde hair as he looks up at nothing. " I can't go to mother, she's not getting any younger and she's worried about me enough as it is, I can't stress her out more....  Father would just tell me to stop being a baby and man up... he'd mean it well but that doesn't mean it's any help. And "friends" I have acquaintances I guess, people I know by name that are willing to say hello to me.... I used to think Eugene was my friend but he's chosen being a boss over being a companion time and time again  so... I only really have only one friend... and he's used to me not treating him as one. So what if.... what if I did make an effort? And he starts expecting things from me, but I start chickening out or relapsing or decide I can't do it after all and he finally gives up on me!? I wouldn't blame him... I would have given up on me years ago... but I'm not sure what I'd do when I end up being completely on my own in this ..." Oh jeez... now Sponge feels bad. Obviously Squid has been struggling with this for a long time, he could tell he'd been struggling with his own happiness ever since he met him really... he pouts and gives his tall friend a comforting squeeze. " Well... have you tried talking to him about it? " A lame chuckle was the response before  he was slightly pushed back so the teal haired man could look at him with an awkward lopsided smile and a shrug. " I'm trying to right now. Heh. " A blink. 'Trying to right now'? Another blink. 'Only one friend that's used to not being treated as one' ? The gears in his spongey head were turning. 'I would have given up on me years ago'? With one more blink the short man started looking around wide eyed before carefully pointing at himself with a trembling hand. " Muh... me? " " No I'm talking about the krabby patty. yes you! Ever since you moved in next door... well before that really, ever since your little weirdo butt started "growing his first house" next-door you've been pestering me day  and night! With your incessant laughter and unconstrained joy and endless creativity and unmatched imagination and- and... and I just... I just... I kinda wish I could have been a part of it...  without having to be the mature adult that's too good for your childish games I guess? " Squid shrugged sadly before his friend released his grip on the hug, to instead take hold of his hands and make determined eye-contact. " You still can be part of it squidward... it's not too late, I told you didn't I? You're one of my best friends, I'll always have your back. You don't have to act a certain way or do specific stuff to be a mature adult you know? I've seen you Happy and exited before.... not as often as I'd like. But that's when you feel most you  when you're in a good mood and forget about who you 'should be ' for a moment.... I want to help you feel like that more often. " A soft sad chuckle left the octopus who shook his head and rubbed his teary eyes with his free hand. " You have no idea what you're getting yourself into. " " I think I've got a pretty good idea. " He chuckled back with a playful look. " Wait hold up I have an idea! " " Huh? What are you doing? " Squid blinked watching his...friend. Yeah, his friend. As he fumbled with something on his wrist before tugging at squid's arm. " Now, I want this one back because Patrick made it for me but that's gonna be our first friendship exercise! " He beamed a shiny bucktooth grin revealing the colorful macrame bracelet he transferred to the other's wrist. " Tomorrow you me and Pat are gonna get together and we're making this friendship official with a 3 people set! Oh maybe we could finally convince sandy to join, she never wants to do crafts with us.  She always says it's boring and starts karate chopping everything." " Wait- hold up, what? Friendship exercise? Official? Crafts? Karate chopping? " " Well yeah! I told you mister! No more pretending anything, we're gonna go out there as friends and you can be tsundere about it all you want but that's final " " I can be what about it???? Wait no never-mind that! Look don't you think you're going a bit fast here???? Do we have to do this, like... now??? And so... publicly???? " " Yesss we dooooooo~ " The blonde singsonged as he playfully flicked the other's nose " No more snail-footing around squidward! You're miserable and as your friend it is my duty to help fix that! So starting tomorrow we're doing this friend thing and you're gonna try or so help me I WILL get the                   ticklebelt! Nyahahahaha! " A sigh turned into a chuckle as Squid shook his head before he erupted in laughter along with his freckled friend... oh boy. What has he gotten himself into now??? " Hawhawhaw! " " Nyahahahaha! " " Hawhawhaw! " " Nyahaha. But seriously, I will. I  know where they keep the spare key to the mermalair. " " Huh? "        

[mrsjaxtellerfan]

Coming Home (Jax x OC) (Chapter 4)

Hey guys! Written with @lookprettyliveclassyplaydirtyyt. Hope y'all enjoy!

Warnings: None

Chapter 4:

“Alright baby, be quick.”

“We will wait right here for you.” Opie said.

“WAIT!!! Pinky Promise me you won’t leave.” Sophia exclaims, holding her little pinky out to Opie. He wraps his much larger pinky around hers, rolls down the truck windows, and turns it off.

“Promise.” Opie states.

Gemma walks over to us, Sophia is being twirled around by Juice. “You guys coming tonight?”

“To what?” I asked, wondering if I missed something.

“Abel’s coming home party.” Gemma states, matter- of - factly.

“I didn’t know. Yeah, we will get a cake or something.” I say.

“GEMMA!!” Sophia exclaims, running up to her. She wraps her arms around Gemma’s legs.

“SOPHIA!!” Gemma exclaims, pulling her up into a crushing hug.

“Guess what!”

“Hmmm, you got ice cream?” Gemma smiles.

“Well yes. But no. I saw Jax. He’s your baby like I’m my mommy’s right?”

“He is my baby. Has been for 30 years!”

“Well I told him not to be mean to my mommy anymore. I think he is a good guy, but he was being mean. Mommy told me that you can’t be mean, and expect others to treat you good. So, I told him not to be mean anymore. And I told him that mommy was sorry for not saying goodbye when she left. I think that was why he was sad.”  Sophia states, looking questioningly at Gemma. “Why is he so sad?”

“Baby, sometimes, when people are sad, they say things they don’t mean. And they do things they don’t mean. Jax is just a little mad because…” She stops, glancing up at me. “He’s mad because he doesn’t like happy people. And you, my dear, are incredibly happy. Don’t let Jax change that, okay? Promise me you’ll always be happy?” She sticks out her pinky.

Sophia wraps her pinky around Gemma’s, “I promise to always be happy, Gemma!”

“Did you know that Jax just had a baby? He was really sick, but guess what? He gets to come home tonight!” Gemma smiles. “You’re going to love him, he’s so tiny and cute.”

“Do I get to hold him too? I really like holding my dolls! I keep trying to tell mommy I need a baby sister or brother. She won’t listen.”

“No, I don’t think so baby, he’s a little bit too small right now, but in a few months, when he’s bigger, you can ask me again.” Gemma replies.

Sophia looks at her like she’s thinking about what she just said. “Can I at least hold his hand? Baby’s have such cute tiny hands. They are so little, and squishy!” Sophia smiles.

“Of course you can hold his hand sweetheart, I bet he’d like that. I bet he’d like that very much.” Gemma says, nuzzling her, before handing her to Opie through the window.

“I don’t want to leave yet, Mommy.”

“We gotta go take a nap so we can go see the baby later.” I state, trying to put her in her seat.

“Sophia, do you want to help me drive home? Just put your hands on the wheel, and I’ll do the rest.” Opie asks, Sophia refusing to move from his lap.

“O! I can’t drive! I’m 5!” She giggles.

“You’re not driving, babe, you’re helping. I’ll teach you how to do corners if you want.”

“Okay!” She smiles up at him, and he looks down at her, adoringly.

“Thank you for helping me with her today, Ope.” I state, cuddling up to Opie.

“No problem, babe. I just wish I had the chance to do it with my kids. They barely know who I am, and they only see me four days out of the month, and they are calling Donnas new boyfriend, Micheal, dad.”

“Opie, you will always be her favorite leather clad biker, and you can take her on as many ice cream dates as you want. You can even help me walk her to her first day of kindergarten next week. If you want?”

“Can I take you for ice cream too?” Opie asks, glancing down at me.

“I’d like that, Ope.”

“Were you serious, I can walk her to Kindergarten?” Opie asks.

“Yes, of course I was, I can even put you down as an emergency contact in case she ever needs to be taken out of school for any reason.”

“No, that should be Jax. He is her dad, I can’t take that away from him.”

“Opie, Jax killed a cactus when we were kids, I don’t think I quite trust him enough to remember to pick her up. Or, on the off chance he does remember that, you can’t strap a booster seat to a motorcycle.”

“I can picture him trying to figure out a way to strap it to the back.” Opie laughs.

“I can too, Opie. Which is  why I don’t want to give him the chance.” I say, letting out a laugh.

“Give him a chance, Ariana. He might surprise you.”

“Opie, the Jax Teller I know is full of surprises, and not good ones either. Remember your senior year when Jax showed up to school half dressed, with his underwear OUTSIDE his clothes?”

“Exactly! The Jax you KNEW! He isn’t the same, Ariana. He has grown up. Sure, he still likes putting his dick in anything that shows him attention, but he is grown up and he is trying to step up for his kid, that includes Sophia now. Did you know he came to me for advice when he found out about Abel? He was terrified he was going to ruin the kid. He is changing and he deserves to get to know his kid. Don’t you think you owe him that much?”

“Opie, Sophia trusts you. I don’t want to take her from one environment to the other. He may be her dad, so when he proves he can be a father I will let him be around her. Since I got back, he has done nothing but yell at me and scare her. She doesn’t need this version of Jax, Opie.”

“You don’t get to do that. He is her father, and you and I both know he would never do anything to hurt her. He would put his life on the line to protect her, hell even you. Remember all of the good times? Jax got you out of that house with your mother when things got bad. He protected you then, and he will do the same to your daughter, HIS daughter. Jax is a good man, he deserves a chance.”

“Jax didn’t get me away from my mom, he got me away from her boyfriend of the month. Gemma found me sneaking in, we told her and JT what was going on, and before I left the next morning, she made sure I ate breakfast, and gave me a key. Told me to use the front door from now on, whenever I needed.”

“Jax didn’t tell you?” Opie questions.

“No, Jax didn’t tell me anything, Opie.”

“Jax went and found the druggie that your mom was dating. He beat him to a pulp. I thought he was going to kill the guy. He made your mom leave town. He didn’t want her hurting you anymore.”

“He did that for me?  I remember telling him, one time on the playground at recess, that I was scared of the monster under my bed. Opie, Jax knew that he tried to touch me, and Jax never let anyone lay a hand on me in the wrong way. Look at me now, I’m a mess, Opie. I got with the same kind of person he was trying to protect me from.” I say, tears spilling onto my cheeks. “I potentially put my daughter in harm's way because I was stupid. And now she has her own monsters. And if I give Jax a chance, and he scares her monsters away, I fucked up because I couldn’t do it myself. If I let Jax back in and he decides he doesn’t want to help raise her, or he leaves one night and never comes back, it’s going to hurt her. She, like me, gets attached too easy. I can’t risk it, not with him.” I start crying.

“Jax would never leave her. Do you know how hurt he was when you left? He told me about what happened between you guys, he was so scared he would hurt you if he let you get close, so he pretended it didn’t happen. Jax has always looked out for you and that isn’t going to change. He isn’t going anywhere.” Opie states, brushing my tears away.

“I’m scared, Opie.” I say, sniffling, wiping my face with my hand. “Ope, I don’t think I can handle it if he hurts me again, especially now, with Sophia involved.”

“One chance, give him one chance to prove that he can be a dad. If he hurts you, or that little princess sleeping in there, I will hurt him.”

“Opie, you really are my best friend.”

“I know, now try to get a nap in before we head to Jax’s house. I feel like tonight is going to be a crazy night.” Opie states, running his fingers through my hair.

“We need to get a cake!!! We forgot the cake!”

“We can buy one from the store on the way there.”

“Okay.” I reply, snuggling into him.

“Can we bring chocolate cake?” Sophia asks, pulling on my hand, showing me a blue frosted sheet cake that said “welcome home baby” on it.

“You are just like your daddy, I swear. Chocolate everything. Hell, I bet you both would love to be made out of chocolate, huh?” I ask my little girl, standing next to me in the bakery section trying to pick a cake.

“Opie likes chocolate cake too?”

“Almost everyone likes chocolate cake, sweetheart.” I reply, not catching all of what my 5 year old said. “The blue one, special request for chocolate, thank you.” I say to the person working behind the counter.

Opie comes up behind her and grabs her waist, and dramatically throwing her in the air. She squealed again and again.

“She’s gonna vomit on you, and I am going to laugh.” I reply. He stops throwing her, puts her down, and begins to chase her around the stands filled with different desserts.

I hand the money to the person behind the counter and grab the cake. “If you both don’t stop acting like fools, I will ground you both! Sophia, you don’t get to hold Abels hand. Opie, you don’t get to drive and have to sleep on the couch for a week. Or we can all leave here right now, because the sooner we get there, the sooner we get to eat the cake. Your choice.”

“Alright, we will be good, mommy!” Sophia squeals.

“I don’t know about we, but I do know that Mommy will never put me out of my own bed. It wouldn’t be warm enough for her to sleep in by herself.” He replies, kissing my cheek.

“That doesn’t mean you get to drive, and you have to do the dishes for two weeks, Opie. Or you can be good.”

“I’ll be good and still do the dishes, gotta show this one that it’s not just something women do.” He replied, looking down at the little girl holding one of his hands, and one of my hands, skipping and humming some song she probably just made up.

“Can we go see Gemma now?” Sophia asks.

“Yes, and Abel.” I hand the cake to Opie and I squat down to her level. “Sweetie, Jax is gonna be there, and I know you’re not mad at him, but you need to understand that he may still be upset.”

“Mommy, he isn’t going to be mad at me. I’m going to tell him he doesn’t need to be sad anymore. He needs to be happy, like me.”

“Sophia,” Opie says, getting level with her, putting the cake on the floor. “Jax might be a different kind of happy tonight. I think maybe you should take that happiness that you have and share it with everybody. Does that sound like something you can do?”

“Yeah, I can do that. I’m so excited to see the baby! I want mommy to have a baby.”

“His name is Abel, and I bet he will he be excited to see you too! But remember, there is plenty of happiness to go around, so make sure you say hello to everyone.” We get in the truck and Opie begins the drive to Jax’s place.

When we get there, Opie knocks, and Clay answers. “Come on in guys.”

“Hi mister um… Hi!” Sophia says to him, excitedly.

Opie puts her down and I set the cake down on the counter, Gemma pulling me into a hug.

“Hi Gemma!” Sophia says before running away, making sure she said hi to everyone.

We exchange smiles, and I help her finish dinner, and she calls everyone into the kitchen to eat. Sophia was sitting between Opie and I, happily eating her dinner.

“Baby, did you make sure you said hi to everyone?” Gemma asked her.

“Mmhm. I even gave out hugs!” She turns to Opie and pulls his shirt sleeve.

He turns to face her. “Yes, princess?”

“Daddy, will you please get me some more mac n cheese?” She asks.

He looks up at me, “you gonna feed her, or deal with her cranky ass at 3 in the morning, Opie?” He puts more mac n cheese on her plate.

“Jax.” Gemma calls after him when he walks out of the house.

“I’ll get him.” I say, getting up and following after him.

“Jax, what was that?” I ask.

“What was that? What was my daughter doing calling Opie daddy?”

“Opie has been letting us stay with him for the past three weeks, you know this.”

“Why did my daughter just call him daddy? Does she know the truth? Are you gonna tell her the truth?”

“I don’t know why she called Opie daddy, but maybe because he’s been scaring away the monsters, making her breakfast, and watching cartoons with her. He is always home for dinner, no matter how much work you have him doing, because I know you hate it, and he even sang her a song while cleaning up the cuts she got when she fell trying to learn how to ride her bike. Those are all things that dads do, Jax. You’re going to get to do those things with your son, someday.”

“So you aren’t ever going to tell her how she has the same blue eyes that Abel and I have, when you have green eyes, and Opies are brown.”

“Jax, I will explain it to her, it’s just… it’s too soon. She doesn’t need another man coming into her life when we don’t even know if he will stick around. I can’t let you have the chance to hurt her. If I tell her and you decide in the future that you don’t want to be her dad, she will be crushed. I can’t Jax. I can’t.” I state, tears welling up in my eyes.

“I’m not going to leave her, or you for that matter, she deserves to know who her father is and I deserve to get to know her. You kept her from me for 5 years, Ariana. Don’t you think you owe it to me to at least get the chance to know her? We don’t have to tell her I’m her father, not yet anyways, I just want to know her. That’s all I’m asking.”

“No, Jax-” he cut me off with a kiss.

“I shouldn’t have done that, I’m sorry.” Jax states, pulling away.

“No, I don’t owe you anything Jax, that is exactly what you said last time. I’m done! I’m not doing this with you again. We, us, whatever you are trying to be, we can’t ever be it. Jax, if things end badly, it will hurt that baby girl in there. Plus, I know Tara is back, and Jax, well, you always pick Tara.” I turn to leave.

“I want to be a family. I want a chance.” Jax states, turning me around.

“You have to prove to me that you deserve a chance to be a family, because I am NOT going to let you hurt her like you did me! She doesn’t need to feel rejected by you. What happens when you wake up one day and decide you aren’t feeling the whole dad thing? What happens to her? You just going to throw her away like you did me?”

“That was different, Ariana.”

“Different? Jax, God, I hate you sometimes, and if she couldn’t see us out the window, I would hit you so hard you see stars tomorrow, you asshole.”

“It was different and you know it. We were kids that decided to fuck. She is my daughter! I don’t care if we don’t get together, or whatever the fuck you’re talking about, I just want to get to know my damn daughter!” Jax shouts.

“We didn’t “decide to fuck” Jax. We were drunk, and a game of Never Have I Ever turned into that beautiful little girl in there. I realized something, Jax. The men that you tried to save me from, are the same ones that I had her around. And right now, you are reminding me of them. They hurt her Jax. Not ever physically, but verbally, mentally, emotionally, and you are doing the exact same things they did. Goodbye Jax.” I slam the door.

“Get your coat, we are leaving.” I state, grabbing my bag and coat.

“But mommy! I don’t want to leave.”

“Get your coat, Sophia!”

“You’re being mean!” Sophia yells, running towards Abels bedroom. Opie following, a few steps behind her.

“You don’t get to just run away and leave things like that, Ariana!” Jax shouts, coming through the door I slammed in his face.

“That’s exactly what the fuck I get to do, Jackson.”

“What is going on here?” Tara asks, leaning against Jax.

“None of your damn business, Tara.” Jax retorts, fuming.

“Are you kidding me, Jax! The whole reason I’m here is because you wanted me here. I don’t have time for your bullshit!” Tara exclaims.

“I’m dealing with the mother of my child right now, so if you don’t mind, get lost!” Jax shouts, shocking everyone in the other room.

“Your child? She’s not Wendy, you have another kid Jax? That is unbelievable.”

“Yes, I have another child, the little girl in there, she’s mine. And I am going to get to know her, I don’t care if it means that I have to go to Opes for dinner one god damn night a week. I’m not gonna lose her!”

“Like fucking hell you are. I don’t want you anywhere near her!” I shout getting in his face.

“You can’t keep me from her.”

“What are you going to do? Fight for custody? You’d never win, and we both know it. Just give up this stupid act. I’m so sick of it. You always play the “poor me” card, it’s getting old, Jax.”

Opie emerges from the bedroom with a sleeping Sophia on his shoulder.

“I got her something.” Jax said. “It’s a little bear, I guess I thought of her when I saw it.” He says, handing me the bear.

“Are you kidding me?” I laugh shaking my head. “We are leaving. Stay away from us, Jax, if you don’t I’ll get an Order of Protection. Then you will never get visitation.”

“Baby doll don’t you think you are being a bit rough on him?” Gemma asks reaching a hand out resting it on my shoulder.

“Rough, Gemma? I’m her mother, and I make the decisions. The decisions I make are what’s best for her, and honestly what’s best for her is not knowing her piece of shit father. We are leaving, and I am serious Jax, do not come near us for any reason.” I take Sophia from Opie and make my way out of the door.

“Do you think you were rough on him?” Opie asks over the sleeping child between us.

“No. He doesn’t deserve to be in her life.”

“Does he not deserve to be in her life or yours, because I’m getting mixed signals here.”

“Just shut up and drive before I really do make you sleep on the couch.”

He turns his attention back to the road, taking the long way home. I focus out the window, the tears that have been threatening to fall, finally falling.

“Opie, pull over up here.”

“Why?”

“Just, please, Opie.” He agrees, seeing my tear stained face.

“I can’t do this! I need to leave. Coming back here was a mistake.”

“Baby, you didn’t make a mistake. I’m glad you came back, and I am glad I have Sophia in my life. It’s almost like I got a second chance. Not to try again, but I got a second chance to love a child. You “passed through” Charming for a reason. I don’t know if it was for protection or something else, but you came back. You and Sophia have changed the environment of T-M. Every time you bring her to visit, we can all forget the bad things, and focus on a form of happiness. You should’ve seen Clay smiling earlier when she gave him a hug. Don’t leave, please. I know you’re upset right now, so in the morning we can talk about it. Just, please don’t take our sunshine away.”

He pulls away from the shoulder and finishes the trip home.

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[another-porn-account]

Warden X Nobu

The alliance had been coming along as intended, the Chosen and Iron Legion slowly working together to drive the Vikings out from their territories. Even after several long months of working together, distrust was still common, both at ground level with the common troops and those in command. Necessity it may have been but the long standing uncertainty still lingered after all this time, bringing about the strangest of situations between the different groups.

It was one of those situations that Caden found himself in, forced to share a room with a Nobushi carrying the name of Akari. He had done his hardest to avoid looking when she changed for bed, propriety demanding his courtesy but in the end, the nature of curiosity and long months without company had convinced him to sneak a look. He had caught a glimpse of her from behind, her long black hair cascaded past her shoulders as she worked it into a loose ponytail. Her form was lithe with the subtle undercurrent of muscle but still prominent curves that would turn heads. Several long scars marred her otherwise smooth flesh, old wounds Caden recognized as remnants from samurai blades. Maybe part of the short lived civil war that the Blackstones had engineered? Old training wounds?

That had been half an hour ago, the Warden still lying awake on the floor, having insisted that Akari take the bed. She had given him a curious look before taking it without a protest. The fortress wasn't necessarily large but the majority of rooms that commanders had were occupied, leaving them either sharing a room or sleeping in the barracks. For both of them, rooming with a stranger was preferable than sleeping with their soldiers. Caden's men would be up late, swapping tales and lamenting the war whilst Akari's still viewed her as too young to necessarily lead.

Caden shivered slightly as a cool wind rolled under the door, the winter winds had been making their way down from Valkenheim, bringing their own icy blades upon everyone. The blanket he had kept the worst of it at bay but there was enough of a stir wandering the halls that kept him awake. Judging from the constantly turning in her position in bed, Akari wasn't having much success either in obtaining rest.

"Are you cold?" The words made him start, the knight's hand halfway to his dirk before realizing it was Akari who had spoken. Her voice was pleasant enough, deeper than he had expected and lightly accented in the common tongue. Pushing himself to a sitting position, he beheld the faint outline of Akari sitting upright and gazing at him across the room.

"I'm fine." He replied, running a hand over his face and tugging at his beard absentmindedly. "Just can't sleep. You'd think sleeping on the ground for months, I'd be used to it."

The faint moonlight let him know she nodded and seemed to hesitate briefly before speaking again. "You don't... have to sleep on the floor, Caden. The bed is big enough for two."

He paused and looked at her, sitting up and setting his arm on his knee. "I'm not usually one to turn down the chance to sleep on a proper mattress but it would be improper for a man and woman to share a bed if they're not married."

"You'd rather freeze?"

"Fair enough." Caden replied with a chuckle, making as if to stand. "But only if you don't mind."

Akari shook her head and moved over, making room for the Warden. Sighing internally at his own lack of self control, he gathered up his own blanket and moved to join the samurai in the large bed. It took him a moment to settle into his side, throwing his own blanket over himself and turning away from Akari. He didn't trust her completely but Caden made the decision on the off chance that she killed him in his sleep, at least he would be comfortable. The knight murmured a thanks but Akari had already turned to face the wall, tucking her own blanket in around herself. They remained in silence for twenty minutes, backs a few inches from each other before Caden spoke.

"I.. uh appreciate this."

He turned to look over his shoulder, nearly falling out of bed at the sight of Akari doing the same. Chuckling at their foolishness, the awkward air broke and they settled into their respective sides, searching for that ever elusive sleep that taunted the pair. Caden kept his eyes stubbornly closed, even as his mind raced at the thought of a woman mere inches away. His trousers were uncomfortably tight, the knight doing his best to avoid looking over his shoulder, unaware of the same situation occurring with Akari, with less self control.

She bit down on her blanket, the stress of the past few months and the draw of the man beside her causing her loins to warm, the Nobushi's fingers hesitatingly slipping down her front to press lightly against her growing wetness. The single touch of her hand was nearly enough to make her gasp aloud, her hips bucking ever so faintly. She withdrew her hand quickly, closing her thighs and squeezing her legs together in an attempt to keep the temptation away.

The faint motion in the bed caused Caden to open his eyes, chancing a look over his shoulder. His eyes, adjusted to the darkness, made out the face of Akari looking at him, her pale cheeks colored in the darkness. There was a quiet look of need and shame on her face, Caden recognizing it as the woman turned fully over to face him. His own self control held for a brief moment before he did the same, propping himself up on an elbow.

"What's-" His words were cut off as her hand covered his mouth, her other bringing his hand under her shirt. His cold touch caused her to shiver as his rough hand cupped the gentle curve of her breast. A relieved sigh escaped her and she moved closer, removing her hand from his hand and trailing it down towards his still straining length. Realizing her intentions but not having the sense of mind to say no, Caden gave in to her wordless demand. Those ice blue eyes would not be denied.

Clothes were removed as swiftly as a thought, warm flesh a stronger comfort at the moment. His rough fingers traced her lower belly and through the forest of hair between her legs, her arousal clinging to his digits. Her hiss and subsequent grip on his length was more than enough incentive to slide two fingers within her, a low moan escaping her and her nails digging into her arm. Her hips bucked against his hand, grinding herself into his palm.

Her own hand was not idle, stroking him in time with his venturing fingers and tracing the slight curve of his manhood, her thumb spreading his own precum in a slow circle. Akari's teeth found her bottom lip, gazing hungrily into Caden's eyes as his own mouth hung open in soft groans. When he slid his fingers to the base, Akari's eyes screwed shut and she whimpered, her legs opening in invitation as her grip on him tightened, tugging him forward.

The wordless invitation was accepted, Akari settling onto her back and urging Caden forward. Blankets were discarded, no longer needed as the two became each other's warmth. The knight settled between the Samurai's legs, her hips rising to meet his without urging. In one smooth motion, Caden entered her and Akari's legs wrapped around him, keeping him from leaving her warmth. Not like he could have resisted at this point, the knight burying his face into her neck as he began to thrust into her.

Her nails dug into his shoulders, Akari gasping with each deep stroke and the bed creaking against the wall. She didn't care at the moment, finally getting relief to a long seated hunger. His hands, rough and calloused, felt heavenly on her hips as he pulled her into each thrust, her toes curling in pleasure. The knight shifted his position slightly, Akari clinging to him desperately as this new position let him thrust down into her, earning a needy groan.

The pleasure lancing through his body was not enough of a distraction for Caden, one hand moving to cup her breast, rough fingers tracing her smooth skin and lightly pulling at her stiffened nipple. She yelped at that, immediately covering her mouth as Caden grinned at her briefly, his pace picking up. She was already so close to release, hovering on the threshold as his length pressed deep into her.

The one hand on his shoulder shifted to hold onto his neck, trying to get some sense of stability as their motions become rougher and erratic. He groaned as he felt his peak growing closer, his grip shifting back to her hips and keeping her steady. His brown eyes met her blue eyes, Akari still covering her mouth and he shivered at the sight but not from the cold.

"Akari..." He whispered, softly but urgently. The question was unspoken but the undercurrent of desire was obvious. Her eyes looked to the side and back to him, her gaze giving no answer for a moment before she shook her head.

He nodded as his pace resumed, his thrusts short and swift, hardly withdrawing from her warmth. Akari's arms wrapped around his shoulders, her gasps muffled against his neck even as his own were by her neck. Her legs kept him steady and he felt her shudder, a sharp gasp of ecstasy in his ears as she bucked against him, her body tensing up. Her insides tightened on him, making it difficult for Caden to resist his own release.

Withdrawing with heavy reluctance as he felt himself cross the threshold, his length rested against her outer lips. He groaned as he came, long streams of white coating her taut belly and chest. Akari whimpered at the sensation, the knight having the presence of mind to lower her against the sheets before collapsing atop her, making sure to keep his weight off her. She chuckled breathily below him, turning his face towards to hers and giving him a chaste kiss on the lips, a strange contrast to the act they had just partaken in.

They both still had a responsibility in the morning but that didn't mean they couldn't have a night.

​

​

Man, this was fun to write~ And hey, if y'all like this kind of stuff posted, let me know. I'll make it a weekly thing of requests. Let me know and I hope you enjoyed!

[stumbling-while-balancing]

Fics will be posted tonight! - I say as I posted on AO3 and not here. Sorry y'all.

 What Do You Think We Do Together?

by stumbling-while-balancing

Pairing: Sheith (Shiro/Keith)

Warning for Daddy Kink

Rating: light R for mild (hinted) smut

***

Really, Keith would forever insist on when questioned later, it was all Lance’s fault.

When questioned either bemusedly or with horrified tones (depending on the asker) how exactly Keith regularly calling Shiro ‘Daddy’ was Lance’s fault, Keith’s answer was always the same.

Lance didn’t know how to not be nosy about his friend’s love lives until Keith.

****

Lance… Lance was definitely the first to find out, at least.

“So what do you even do with the guy, anyway?” Lance asked, rolling over from where he had been sprawled on the floor in boredom after joining Keith to avoid Coran’s ‘Chores for idle hands!’ routine. “I mean, Shiro’s great, but neither of you are really ‘let’s get the party started!’ types, are you? Do you two even know how to have fun when you’re together? I mean, maybe Shiro does, but you, man… No offense, but you’re kind of a fun killer.”

“And yet,” Keith said offhandedly as he continued rubbing the polish over his Lion’s left paw, steadfastly remaining silent to his diva Lion’s ‘make sure I look pretty cub! Get this spot!’ requests even as he carried through with them, “You sought me out and are now bugging me. Why is that?”

“I have about as bad a taste in friends as Shiro does in boyfriends, I guess.” Lance snarked back, now too well used to his and Keith’s odd brand of friendship to be truly offended with Keith’s words, “But seriously, man, you guys disappear all the frickin’ time when you’re not needed for team training or plans for the Coalition. Where the hell do you even go? What do you do?”

Keith was silent as he focused particularly hard on a dull spot on Red.

“You really don’t want to know, Lance.” He warned finally.

“Uh, I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to know.” Lance huffed, “You know that I will eventually find out, right? One of these days I’m going to find a way to sneak past your freaky Galra senses and follow you! Try to keep me from knowing your secrets then!”

Keith continued to be silent as he debated the pros and cons of just telling Lance what he and Shiro got up to. It would be better than him seeing it firsthand, surely?

Exactly on time, Shiro called in to the room from outside the doorway, “Hey babe, Allura and I are done tweaking the plan for dealing with the Auxians. Think you’ll be ready to meet me in the common room in fifteen?”

With that, Keith’s decision was made, and he barely managed to keep himself from breaking into hysterical laughter as he called back, “No, I’m pretty much done here now, Daddy. I’ll come with you.”

The look on Lance’s face as he realized....

Keith would treasure it forever.

Smiling brightly at Lance, Keith murmured, “No secrets here.” Before stacking his polishing tools neatly beside Red and turning to walk out of the hanger to the sounds of Lance’s choked splutters.

***

Hunk… Hunk was probably the one that Keith felt guiltiest about.

Probably because he was one of the only ones that didn’t really deserve to be traumatized. It’s hardly as if he had been trying to be annoying or overbearing, he just had an inner need to make sure the people around him were well-fed and healthy. After Kolivan had offhandedly commented that Keith didn’t eat nearly enough for a Galra, even someone half-Galra, Hunk had made it his mission to make sure that Keith ate more.

So Keith didn’t entirely blame Hunk, especially since it was kind of nice to have a friend care so much about him. (Also because he knew that Hunk and Shiro had had a discussion with Kolivan about healthy Galra eating habits before going on this ‘make Keith eat more food’ spree.)

But when it happened, Keith had been tired, already nearly overly full, and fed up with being watched like a hawk as he ate.

So really, it had been meant as a punishment for both Hunk and Shiro, when he fixed a smile on his face and looked right at Hunk while Shiro (the #1 enabler of Hunk’s ‘feed Keith more’ plan) moved yet another portion onto his plate.

“See what I mean about you not needing to worry about my eating habits, Hunk? My Daddy makes sure I get plenty to eat.”

He smiled with false brightness at Shiro’s frozen form and Hunk’s jaw-dropped astonishment while pushing himself away from the table and saying in a deliberately childish tone, “But I’m really hungry for some special desert now, Daddy. Let’s go to bed!��

He sashayed away to the sounds of Hunks traumatized garbling and the beginning of Shiro trying to talk Hunk back into functioning human being form.

He was going to get spanked so hard tonight.

Still.

Worth it.

***

Pidge… Pidge he didn’t even really mean to bother.

Truly though, he wasn’t even really trying to particularly traumatize her when he said it. He had been assisting Pidge while she made adjustments on one of the Coalition’s ships (basically just being a grunt that lifted and fetched things when she asked), and they had already been engaged in their typical banter when it happened.

“Awwww,” Pidge said teasingly as Keith grunted and rubbed his shoulder after setting one of the larger pieces of the ship down beside her, “Is the poor baby boy tired already? Do you need me to fetch you a blankie so you can take a nap?”

Keith had registered the mild concern in her voice, and so shrugged and said unthinkingly, “No, just a little sore from when Daddy tied me up over Red’s console earlier. I’ll just get him to massage it later.”

He only realized what he had said when Pidge dropped the wrench in her hand and stared at him with horrified eyes. “That’s what you two were doing when I needed to talk with you about updates for the Red Lion? I thought you were going over battle techniques! I sat outside the Red Lion’s particle barrier for over two hours waiting for you to get done!”

Keith blushed and bristled simultaneously, “You got there after we had already gotten started! We didn’t even know you were there until we left Red!”

But Pidge had already grabbed her wrench from the floor and turned back to the ship, muttering grumpily, “I will have my revenge for this. You bet your ass I will.”

***

Coran… Coran was just a mistake.

It was during a minor repair to the ship, Shiro, Allura, Hunk, and Lance outside the ship while Keith, Pidge, and Coran kept an eye on the monitors inside the ship to make sure that the fixes were completed successfully.

Shiro had just commed in asking Keith to let him know if the gages rose beyond the needed level, and, well…. Keith had been saying it in public so often lately that the “Okay, Daddy.” had just slipped out.

At first, Keith barely even realized the mistake he had made, because Coran waited until the team outside was finished with the repairs and had shut the comm link off to turn to Keith with a furrowed brow and deeply puzzled frown, “I… Keith, Shiro is your father?”

Keith choked on his spit, before hurrying to correct the wrong, very wrong impression he had unwittingly given Coran, “No! No, he’s not my father, it’s just-“ Keith abruptly stopped talking when his desperate eyes caught sight of Pidge.

And the look on her face.

Keith did not like the look on Pidge’s face. That was her evilest gremlin look, the bitch-you-thought-I-wouldn’t-go-into-your-house-and-set-fire-to-all-the-things-you-love-for-revenge?-You-thought?->:D look.

It did not imply good things for Keith’s future.

“It’s a sex thing,” Pidge practically shouted at the opening with quick evil gleefulness, validating every unkind thought that Keith had ever had of her.

Coran tilted his head to the side in confusion, “A sex thing…?” He asked before abruptly brightening, “Ah, human procreation! I have been wondering about it. I’m so glad you feel comfortable enough to bring it up around me! I’ve been so curious.”

Keith blanched, “Coran, I really don’t think you’ll find it interest-“

“No,” Coran insisted as he pushed his face closer to Keith’s rapidly paling countenance, “This is fascinating. How exactly does it help during sexual intercourse? Does calling their sexual partner ‘Daddy’ in bed assist humans in the act of procreation in some way? Is acknowledging their mate as a good potential sire a psychological code to get the receiving partner’s body ready to bear offspring?”

Keith regretted every fucking choice he had ever made to get him to a point in his life where he was going to have to explain daddy kink to Coran.

…

He came so close to just sprinting to the nearest airlock and jettisoning himself into space without his armor that day.

***

Allura… Allura technically wasn’t his fault at all.

She managed to corner him in the hallway while he was heading back to his and Shiro’s room after using one of the mainframes Pidge had coded to display English to try to find out if there were any creatures similar to hippos in the nearby universe. (And if the world containing said creatures just happened to need saving.) He was pretty pleased with the results and had been planning the perfect way to bring it up to the team when she stopped him.

So he really wasn’t fucking ready when she placed a soft hand on his shoulder and regarded him with deeply sympathetic eyes.

“Keith, Coran just shared something with me, and I hope you don’t get upset with him telling me something so personal, but I really am glad that he did. Keith, I had no idea you missed your father so much, I completely under-“

Keith froze as he felt his soul being slowly dragged from his body into the deepest pits of hell, before abruptly jerking back and turning around as fast as he could, “No.” he spat desperately, “Just, no.” before sprinting as fast as he could to Red. A few quick practice flights in the emptiness of space would do them both good.

***

Shiro… Shiro was the one that made him the most nervous. Shiro was everything to Keith, and Keith just wanted him to know how much Keith valued what Shiro was to him.

Keith shuddered in overstimulation and endorphins as he came down from his high. He felt his Daddy running soothing, caring hands down his skin, soft words of praise and adoration falling from his Daddy’s lips. He finally arched up and used a shaking hand to drag his Daddy’s head down to his, pulling him into a deep kiss as he arched up against his body. They stayed that way for minutes (hours? days?) trading alternatively hot and deep and sweet and gentle kisses until Shiro finally got up from the bed to get a wet cloth to wipe Keith down with.

Once that was done, Shiro collapsed onto the bed and pulled Keith close, wrapping his strong arms around him and pressing tender kisses into his hair.

Keith sighed contentedly and pressed himself deeper into Shiro’s embrace. But despite the complete contentment that was trying to surround him, there was one thing that kept bothering him at the back of his mind.

“Shiro, are you sure you don’t mind? That the rest of the team knows that you’re my Daddy?” he asked, an uncommon vulnerability softening his voice. It may have started off as a way to taunt some members of the team, but a deep part of Keith was glad that he didn’t have to hide what Shiro was to him anymore. How important Shiro was. How vital.

Shiro pressed a slightly firmer kiss to Keith’s shoulder before rubbing his side comfortingly, “Hey, I told you- I’m never going to be ashamed of being your Daddy or you acknowledging that. They are grown adults, and if they can fight the Galra, they can put up with having a little too much information about their teammate’s sex life. It’s hardly as if they haven’t shared a little too much information themselves at times. The only time I got annoyed was when you used it to bother Hunk rather than just explaining you didn’t need that much food, and I forgave you for that almost as soon as you did it.”

Keith nodded, finally able to relax into contentment’s embrace, just as he did the embrace of the man that was the cause of said contentment.

He really did have the best Daddy.

[fourteenacross]

If you do a preview please can it be happy? Thank You!

Three votes for “happy,” so happy it is! 

(This is obviously still  A DRAFT and unbetaed and, honestly, not even spell-checked at this point.)

*

The Sunday of their Mets game dawns bright, if cloudy. Alex, who had been watching the weather all week in hopes of the threatening rain making an appearance, groans when John opens the blinds.

“You’re acting like I’m bringing you to your fucking execution,” John says. “You’ll have your fucking tablet, it’s not like I’m ripping away your connection to the outside world and forcing you to watch the game. They have wifi at Citi Field. But I think being there you’ll learn to appreciate the beauty of–”

Alex rolls over and lets out an obnoxious fake snore.

“Ha ha,” John says. “You’re an asshole.”

“I’m an asshole who loves you,” Alex says, lifting his head up to pout at John. “I’m an asshole who’s agreed to spend a whole fucking day in the outdoors in June when it’s gonna be like, ninety degrees because it’s important to you.”

Ugh, John hates how true all of that is. It’s hard to be mad when he knows that, yes, Alex is doing something he hates because he knows how happy it will make John.

“I hate it so much when you have a right to be smug about something,” John mutters. Alex beams at him and sits up, hugging him around the waist.

“I’m always right,” he says, nuzzling John’s shoulder.

“You’re always a shithead,” John says.

He leaves Alex in bed and heads to the kitchen, just as Mrs. Upstairs bellows and drops something hard enough that the water in the coffee carafe he’s filling ripples and trembles. It seems they’ve woken up just in time to avoid being woken by today’s circus.

John puts on coffee and shoves some stale-but-not-moldy bread into the toaster. He starts to throw together some stuff to bring into the city–water bottles, sunglasses, a back-up battery for Alex’s iPad, some Clif bars that they can hopefully sneak past stadium security, a snapback for Alex which he will initially turn his nose up at and then eagerly accept once the sun is directly overhead–when Alex wanders out, frowning at his phone.

“Hey, so, I posted on Facebook that you were dragging me to a baseball game today,” he says, looking up at John, “and Ned commented and asked if we had time to have dinner with him after? I guess he’s living in Queens for the summer?”

John needs to think about that twice to process it. He knew, intellectually, that Alex has a foster brother living and going to school in the city, but the idea of meeting him had never even crossed his mind.

“Do you…want to?” John asks carefully. Alex doesn’t talk much about about the Stevens family as his guardians, though he’s chatty about working with Mr. Stevens at the paranormal shop he owned on the island. He knows that Ned helped get Alex into Columbia on very short notice, but that’s about all he knows.

“Sure,” Alex says, shrugging. “I mean, as long as you want to. It’s been like, a year since I’ve seen Ned. Which is weird, wow. Time is weird.”

“Yeah, I’d love to,” John says. Belatedly, he realizes, “Oh, fuck, but Herc. Is it okay if Herc comes with us?” Or maybe Alex already assumed Herc would be coming with them, given they’re going to the game together. Maybe John’s just the asshole for thinking of this as a family thing, as the closest thing to meet-the-parents either of them will likely ever have.

“Gotta ask him next,” Alex says, but, as if on cue, there’s a knock at their door. “Good timing.”

It is, of course, Hercules waiting outside once John opens the door. He’s in a Knicks t-shirt, which is at least the right colors, if not the right sport.

“Yo,” he says. “I know I’m early, but I could hear my fucking cousins….”

He trails off and looks at the ceiling as Mrs. and Mr. Upstairs continue to shout and possibly move furniture.

“What the fuck?” he asks.

“Welcome to life in the shoebox,” John says dryly.

“It’s like this every day?” Herc asks.

“More or less,” Alex says. “Hey, unrelated to domestic disturbances, do you have plans for after the game?”

“I actually wanted to talk to you kids about that,” Herc says. “I don’t want to bail on you, but Lizzie texted me last night. She’s in town for a couple days and wanted to know if I’d be around for dinner tonight.”

“Lizzie?” Alex perks up. “Like…?” He makes a vague, complicated gesture that involves pointing at John. Herc nods.

“One and the same,” he says. “But if you guys have plans….”

“Actually,” Alex says, “my foster brother just asked if we had time to have dinner with him after the game. So.” He shrugs.

“Awesome,” Herc says. “I’ll tell Lizzie we’re on for tonight. You kids gonna put on pants, or…?”

“You’re early,” John reminds him. “But yeah.” To Alex he says, “It’ll be quicker to share as long as you keep your hands to yourself.”

“I can…probably do that,” Alex says. “Let me just text Ned.”

Both Alex and John manage to keep their hands to themselves for the length of a quick shower and they’re on a train into the city not half an hour later. Alex spends the train ride furiously redlining an article for some journal and Herc plays a game on his phone and John sits between them with his eyes closed, attempting to ward off motion sickness. He’s better on the subway, but it’s still a long ride from Penn Station to Times Square to Citi Field.

They’re not even halfway there when Alex plucks the hem of John’s ‘86 Hernandez jersey and then the hem of Herc’s t-shirt.

“Hey,” he says. “Same color, different teams. Is this a name thing? Like, the team changed its name?”

“Nah,” Herc says. “I’m a Yankees fan. Don’t own any Mets shit, so I’m going with another New York team as a neutral.”

“And the Yankees are…?”

“The other New York baseball team,” John says. “They play in the Bronx. Even you have to know who the Yankees are, you fucking lived in New York for two years.”

Alex sniffs. “Well, sorry, I had other, more pressing matters to attend to and didn’t have time for–”

John cuts him off. “Oh, please. If you spent two minutes paying attention instead of being like, performatively disdainful–”

“I’m not disdainful!” Alex insists. “I’m….”

John gives him a few seconds of silence before saying, “What?”

“…I don’t know,” Alex admits, “something that makes me sound better than disdainful.”

“You two done?” Herc asks, elbowing Alex who bumps into John.

“Probably not,” John says.

“You should be used to us by now,” Alex adds.

“Y'all are meant for each other,” Herc says, but he’s smiling.

The rest of the ride to the stadium passes without incident and soon enough John is swept up into the giddy rush of going to a ballgame. The Mets are his team and have been since seeing their minor league club play out in Columbia when he was a kid, but he’d be just as excited about any game. Up in Cambridge, a guy in his fraternity had season Red Sox tickets and John bought a handful of games off of him, usually the ones no one else wanted. Sure, it’s great to watch his team play and cheer them on, but for him, most of the time it’s just the experience. He loves being in the ballpark and watching the game and sitting in the sun and feeling the energy of the crowd. It doesn’t matter if it’s major league or minor league or even high school baseball–there’s not much outside of parapsych that makes John feel connected to the world around him, but baseball is pretty high up on the list.

He wants to share this with Alex, even though he knows he’s destined for failure. Alex is a self-proclaimed indoor kid. He may ride his bike everywhere, but it’s for practical reasons rather than any stab at regular exercise. He thinks John is weird for going to the gym regularly and thinks he’s insane for running when he can’t get to the gym. There hasn’t been a single sport that’s caught his attention in almost a year of living with John and sitting on the couch while John watched whatever was in season. On top of all that, he’s just kind of…a snob. He thinks sports are for people who don’t have anything better to do, who aren’t as engaged in academics and politics and intellectual pursuits as he is. Baseball is below him–all sports are below him–and he’s unlikely to look up from his iPad the entire afternoon.

Still, he’s here. He let John bring him here. And even if it’s only because he loves John like crazy, that’s still something.

[archiveofolives]

Ring of Keys and Other Stories I

A/N/SUMMARY in which liv tries to avoid coming up with individual titles and cool summaries for all themes so y'all are getting something half-assed lmao. just pretend this is a short story collection and the first one’s for the theme first impression which is all that you need to know about it actually. but this was inspired by a song in the musical fun home entitled ring of keys (obviously the only title i could come up with) and just a word of warning, if you’re planning to go see it, bring some goddamn tissue. set in the younger days of baze malbus and chirrut imwe, when growth spurts were still all the rage

RATING/WARNINGS g/mentions of sex organs but otherwise none. these are kids, what do you expect

WORD COUNT 3,489

AO3 here

—

Sometimes, Chirrut didn’t know why he even bothered to put up with his friends in the first place. Here they were, in the grand library of the Temple of the Kyber, a vast storage of knowledge reaching far beyond the system that they knew—and what were they doing?

“Holy…look at the size of that thing!”

“It can’t grow that big, can it?”

Looking at penis pictures.

“Well, maybe for an aqualish, it can’t,” Dama, one of his human friends, snickered.

In retaliation to this accusation, the aqualish Omi rose and batted Dama right on his shaven head. His two other friends, Kar and Lin the duros, threw themselves to their fullest heights in response and came between Dama and Omi before they caused any damages that could not be excused as a training accident. At any other time, Chirrut might have risen to help.

He wasn’t in the mood for it just now, though. For one, unlike his friends, he still hadn’t quite reached his growth spurt which would put him at quite a disadvantage and for another, he still felt sour over losing the private reading time (and what little of it he could manage already!) he had pinched for himself just because he, well, had to put up with his friends.

There was a reason, after all, why he’d gone through so much trouble to come to the library unnoticed. Following his afternoon prayers, he’d rushed out like an errand boy running late to his master’s bidding, employing the best of his budding stealth skills to sneak past the Elders and the older trainees without so much as a nod of respect.This was the most daring he’d ever been in his very short life thus far, the most insolent and worthy of punishment since he started on the path to be a Guardian of the Whills, but he reminded himself that all was fair in the pursuit of knowledge and the Force.

And knowledge, today, lied between the pages of a book called the Manual for Desire. Roughly translated from its original language, of course. But it meant the same thing either way: it was a textbook on courtship, marriage, copulation and maintaining the quality of life thereafter.

This was not a kind of reading that should be exposed to boys his age without proper guidance, and he doubted he had proper access to it either way but he’d heard it said that the Force moved differently between thoughts and intentions. It glowed to celebrate the birth of a new life and darkened around a person who was about to kill. Anger burned a black fire but at peace, the Force moved smoothly like a shallow sea. Since his first lesson about the nature of the Force, Chirrut had been quizzing his Elders about what it “looked” like and what it “felt” like.

But no one, not even the wisest of them all, had been able to tell him how the Force moved when one was in love.

At most, the answers he received were half-hearted simplifications—it was warm, it pulsed, it radiated—but mostly his Elders blushed, sputtered or redirected the conversation urgently to his duans when asked. Such a hodgepodge grasp of love’s Force could not satisfy a serious future Guardian like Chirrut Imwe. That was when he decided to take the bantha by the horns and seek this knowledge all by himself—for who better could he entrust with such a delicate task? And where better to start but in the Manual for Desire? Restrictions be damned and all.

He’d managed to acquire the holocron with little difficulty as soon as he’d located it in the directory. After loading it onto the viewer, Chirrut was on his way. Deft fingers swept past blue pages reflected onto the clear crystal surface that stood atop one of the holocron terminals in the circular reading table. The drawings of a man and a woman, a human couple, was done in the old way and did not move. But flipping through them brought them to life, and the man to the woman and eventually, the both of them out of their own clothes and into various positions that seemed impossible to achieve without aide of the Force.

Or at least that was what Chirrut thought, as he slowed down when the love story started, looking closely at the captions, at the figures, in case there was something he might miss. But all that he learned so far was where to touch a woman to please her and enhance her sexual energy, or how one should hold a “man’s stem” so as to invigorate him. Book’s words, not his.

He didn’t know what to make of them. It was obvious that the characters were passionately in love but Chirrut could not yet see the part where the Force entered (it would be years yet before he got this joke). The couple did not pulsate, they did not radiate.

He never got much farther than that, though. Sat in the middle of the dark reading room, surrounded only by the quiet blue lights of holocrons arranged in mile-long rows and ceiling-high shelves, he became the perfect target for a surprise visit from his friends. As it turned out, it wasn’t the Abbot and the Elders he had to worry about but the wandering droids who were programmed to speak nothing but the truth. That was how he was caught quite red-handed, staring intently at a picture of a woman on her back with a man between her legs on his knees, both of them quite naked. Chirrut’s first defense against his friends’ jeers had been to tell the truth, of course, for there was nothing shameful about seeking enlightenment—but to no one’s surprise, they didn’t believe him. They were at that age where the changes in their bodies were becoming a source of great curiosity. So, rather than he let the whole thing blow up and invite the attention of the Elders, he did the one thing that was expected of him: he lied, and admitted that he was in it for the nudity and the coital action. Then they believed him.

And so there they were, arguing about penis sizes and the shape of a woman’s breasts. Supposedly, it was a benevolent act of friendship when they joined Chirrut in his “weird hobby” by selecting holocrons of their own liking but Chirrut knew better. He leaned back in his seat, arms crossed behind his head, his legs up the table while he watched his friends jab and shriek at each other, filling the dark void with their excited voices. It occurred to him then that if he didn’t do anything, this might escalate into something much worse than he could handle.

Suddenly, his feet swung down with an echoing slam and the truest sense of purpose if they knew of any. He stood up in attention, staring across him with a look of terror and a sudden difficulty in getting his throat to work. His friends turned to him, all of their shoulders rigid like his. “A, A, A…” He tried to swallow again and this time succeeded. “A, A, Ar…Ar-Boel!”

That name was enough to invoke an immediate respite among the boys. As one, they, too, pushed back their seats to stand in attention, facing Ar-Boel. Dama went the extra mile of shielding the lewd images from their visitor with his body.

Except their visitor did not exist. What he stared at instead was the deep shadow between the rows of shelves illuminated and brimming with knowledge, each one blinking quietly, humming softly.

The penny dropped when Chirrut made an ugly snort, wheezed as he doubled over then bent backward with a hearty laugh. Everyone else’s glee trickled after him. Everyone but Dama who burned.

“That was a mean joke, Chirrut!” he snapped in his deep voice.

“Look at yourself,” Chirrut gasped, wagging a finger at him. “Your face shows plainly your thoughts! What would you do if Ar-Boel grows her womanly curves and you cannot command yourself?” he asked, shrugging with his hands. Then with a sigh, he wagged his finger again at the flustered boy. The rest followed suit. Sometimes, he didn’t know why he even bothered putting up with his friends but he knew it was because of this: he made them laugh and they all liked it that way. They put up with his jokes and his mischief.

Sometimes, he just wished they put up with his ideas, too. About the Whills, about the Force, instead of just dismissing it as classroom fodder. He loved his friends and he had many of them who indulged his humor, but sometimes he had the distinct feeling they didn’t love him as much to understand that even jokesters like him had a right to serious reflections.

The bell rang just then, a quiet and thoughtful don that penetrated the thick darkness of the library. Chirrut and his friends stood still to heed its summons.

Don, it said again.

“That’s us!” Lin realized in a panic, all but ripping their embarrassing discoveries from the holocron terminals. “Supper duty, that’s us!”

“Leave the holocrons, I’ll take care of them!” Chirrut volunteered heroically, unloading the Manual for Desire himself. “You all go to the kitchen now, it would be better for us.”

“But what about you?” Kar asked, his voice regaining its childish trill in his hysteria.

“Tell them I’m in the library. Save me a task!” This time, Chirrut could at least count on them to keep their actions a secret.

They nodded as one and bolted.

Chirrut waited for their pattering steps to fade out completely before he gathered himself up with a sigh. Too bad, how this all turned out. He thought that by asking them to go ahead, he could bargain even just five more minutes of reading time—but who was he kidding? He had to put the holocrons back, the chairs in order…

Even just returning the books to where they’d been taken from took him much longer than he expected—and much deeper into the library than he was familiar with. Chirrut was pretty sure that was because the scandalous volumes had led him right into the heart of the restricted area, like breadcrumbs drawing him to a trap where a council of Elders could be waiting to sentence him to a year full of chores for trespassing. At the very least. That was the nightmare. The good thing was that he’d had enough time to come up with a story for his defense and he had the size and the voice (and the face, he’d like to think) to make it convincing. Sometimes, being developmentally delayed had its perks, after all.

He practiced it in his head, rehearsed it quietly as he slipped the last holocron into its nook. “Respected Elders,” he whispered to his phantom audience, “I beg your pardon for straying from my path. I came only to expand my knowledge of the Force and in so doing have lost my way…” Well, that was half-true.

His task done, he hurried back away from the incriminating object, wiping the sweat off his hands on his trousers. A chime rang just then, like the shimmering bells they sometimes used in rituals which caused him to stop. It was not a sound he often heard within his usual corner of the library so he couldn’t say what it was for, or where it was from. Only that he hoped it hadn’t come to judge him for his unquenchable curiosity. Could it have come from one of the Elders?

He waited for the next jingle to come. When it didn’t, his tiny brave feet made a bold turn and dashed for the source. He decided it was time to investigate it—if the sound was the herald of his doom, he wanted to come at it like a man than to have it as another unwelcome surprise. Everyone in NiJedha knew he’d had enough of that in a day. Quiet as a mouse, he slipped down the dark, cold aisle between the high blinking shelves, keeping a straight direction as instinct commanded. The chimes came again but this time, they didn’t ring so clearly as they had earlier, as though they’d been muffled, perhaps by a hand. There was definitely someone out there. He just didn’t know who they were, or how many they were.

His answer lied at the end of the narrow path, opening up to an illuminated center he had never found before. More aisles of shelves branched out from it, like the petals of a flower. Dead center, aglow with rainbow lights was a replica of NiJedha, carved from crystals, sitting atop a blanketed pedestal. One of the Elders stood close to it, raising his hand to a bowing youth.

The boy rose, and Chirrut felt his heart catch at the end of his throat. For who else could be so young, and yet be so welcomed to be peers of the Elders and the Abbot, but no other than Baze Malbus himself, the best of his class.

This was the first time he had ever come so close to the darker-skinned boy who was only a year older than him, but he knew him from classroom gossips and voices echoing down the hall. He knew from them that Baze had reached the highest duan his age had ever achieved in history that in order to progress to the next level, he required a special instructor to guide him personally. His martial skills were impeccable and so advanced that he was now being pitted against trainees of a higher grade. And his devotion to the Force was so true, he once went a whole day without sustenance because of how deep he was in meditation.

That last one might just be a rumor. But looking at him, Chirrut could believe it. He was tall, admirably so. His back was perfectly straight, the perfect model whose inadequacies could be measured up to, but he had an easy posture with a slight drop of his shoulders that did not make him look so severe. Even his head, tilted just a little upwards, looked perfectly shaped under its closely-shaven hair, not too round but not flawed at all…

In fact, that was the thing about him: nothing was too perfect and whatever physical faults he had, Chirrut could not imagine a world where they could be called as such. If he ever had a scar, it would be because it was meant to be there, and not because he had failed to prevent it. His clothes hung properly onto his frame, not so tight that it twisted incorrectly when he bent a little to laugh with the Elder, but not so loose that one could no longer make out his broad shoulders, his trimmed shape. It was like…by being on him, his clothes gained the power to breathe. He was the perfect recipe, the perfect balance between all flavors.

Could he ever be like him? Small Chirrut, Skinny Chirrut with a voice that was yet to drop. Baze’s voice thrummed melodiously in his ears, full of insight, like he really knew what he was saying. He walked, and Chirrut was drawn to his movements, the way his graceful feet made it seem like the world turned because of them, that finger tracing circles in the air and his perfect head spinning with it as he recited a verse. When he wanted to learn about the Force, then he should have just looked for Baze Malbus—because he radiated. He pulsated with so much…spirit! And so much…knowledge and so much…life! This was the light, the enlightenment he never found in those books. Why was he even looking for it in them when they were matters of the past? They no longer lived and breathed the way Baze Malbus could. Baze Malbus! He could say that name over and over again.

He heard the chimes again, clear as the day and there he saw it: a ring of crystal shards held in his other hand, with the jagged teeth of keys. He, a boy so young, had been given those. Access to a treasure trove of lessons and wisdom.

At the end of his speech, the Elder who listened intently nodded deeply to his ideas, and Chirrut ached.

Could he ever be like him? To have learned so much in so short a time, to be so respected, so bright in every way. He was the boy to be, the aspiration. He was…

Everything Chirrut wanted to be, and everything he was not. His simple knowledge would never match up to his mastery, his short legs would never swing like that. His clumsy hands with its stubby fingers would never be able to twirl like that.

How embarrassing it would be to even try and come close. And yet, here was a boy he could greatly admire. A boy who showed him that even at such a young age, there was nothing wrong about being faithful. About wishing to devote more of himself to learn about the Force that surrounded them, in a way that his friends, who looked only to the physical world, could never seem to appreciate. Baze could appreciate it, he bet. Baze would understand him.

Baze Malbus would understand him.

Chirrut was certain of this, for he understood Baze’s passion, his commitment. For they were his own, too. If only at a slightly smaller scale, one that fit his size just right. Could they be friends, he wondered?

Could he hear his heart saying hi?

With another deep bow, Baze and the Elder parted as friends. As the senior Guardian disappeared to the back of the library, Baze turned and started to the opposite side of the building. Those dark, sharp eyes of his swept over the empty room, past the boy ogling at his tall presence, hidden between the shelves. He stopped to stare.

Baze jumped back with a startled squawk, dropping his keys to his feet. Chirrut hurried out of his hiding place—he hadn’t meant to be caught in there!—in his panic, arms out in a pacifying gesture.

“Please don’t be terrified, it’s just me!” he said in his tiny voice. “I’m Chirrut Imwe.”

Baze continued to stare at him in a way that was appropriate for an Endorian ewok who literally just came out of nowhere.

“You’re Baze Malbus, aren’t you?”

Still frozen in time, Baze nodded carefully.

Chirrut smiled brightly. “Well met!” he said, a little surprised by the opportunity practically laid out on his feet. This was the first time he’d ever met Baze Malbus and in an instant, he’d been taken by his aura. Now they were acquainted. Soon they could be friends!

Baze offered a toothy smile but it looked a little too uncertain to be heartfelt. Chirrut should probably dial it down a bit.

“Uh—” He cleared his throat and looked around for something to break the awkwardness. His eyes fell on the crystal keys and he zoomed down to pick it up, setting loose a chorus of tinkling sounds. “Here,” he said, offering them to Baze. “You dropped your keys.”

Baze looked down to find them in his tiny hands, and with a flowing swoop picked them up with his longer fingers. That the keys made no ruckus at all, just the gentle ringing of music, was testament to Baze’s discipline. Chirrut was in awe.

He had to remind himself that it was rude to stare so he ripped his eyes from the taking hand and redirected them to Baze’s face. He was a handsome boy, or at least he was very attractive to be sure.

…was it okay to think like that?

He peeled his hand away from the keys. Respectfully, he stepped back, and offered a smile to Baze who watched with open-faced curiosity. “Well, then. Goodbye…then.” He wished he could tell him a joke. Leave him a souvenir to remember him by.

But Baze inclined his head, then once again, and finally, turned to leave.

Even his back was something to watch—the way he swayed just a little, how he carried his frame. He swayed back to the safety of the shelf, a dependable friend to rest his weight on when his own strength could not be relied on. Chirrut could feel his heart beating in his chest, fanning a fire that burned in his neck, his cheeks and his ears. Once again, Baze was a myth that could only be admired from a distance.

But he swore, in that one heartbeat their eyes had met, he felt like they were kindred spirits.