#and hes a dragon dog ram thing and I think that's cool af

[breakfast-please]

fuck you, it's January

[daysofnikki-blog]

The next, next Sunday.

Holy SHIIIT. Two weeks? It’s been two weeks since I was on here?! Holy balls guys, do you know how much has happened since then?

So the party that Vadim took me too was full of Dungeons and Dragons nerds, but they were really cool and we got along soooo well. Vadim left me to talk to his friend and give him a Christmas present as soon as we got there, so I made friends with a guy named Igan who was cool af. When I take someone to a party, I expect them to mingle and not stay by my side; that’s why we came to a party vs staying at home alone, to hang out with other people. So I did just that. Usually I’m nervous around people I don’t know, but I was jiving with these people. Made consistent eye contact with Vadim as a sign to say we were cool. At one point we both went to go outside and he said he didn’t want to because people were smoking. I said okay, see you later, and went on outside. It was hot and I wanted to cool down. Ended up staying outside. Met the birthday boy’s sister, who works tracking loggerhead sea turtles (awesome) and got into a long chat with guy named Phil who designs dresses. He let me swipe through his designs and they are gorgeous!! He told me I could have a red one if I wanted, and I would’ve said hell yes if Vadim hadn’t come outside. He looked agitated. Asked me why I hadn’t been talking to him at all. I said I thought that we were mingling and that it wasn’t a big deal. He starts yelling at me, in front of everyone, who are now staring, watching us as he berates me for not coming inside when he didn’t want to come outside because of people smoking, “Oh could you not understand that? Really? You couldn’t understand to come inside with me, huh?” It was mortifying.

I tried to play it off. Followed him inside to the food table, where I grabbed some Doritos and listened as he still ranted (albeit quieter this time) about how he couldn’t believe I had barely talked to him at the party. It wasn’t so much what he was saying... it was the way he said it. Belitting me. When he walked away from the table the sea turtle girl was sitting there. She looked at me, shook her head, and said “Damn... I remember when I was in an abusive relationship.” Really?? That’s what we look like to people??

30 seconds later he came over and asked if we could leave.

On the car ride home he was still mad about it.

At his place he wanted to fuck. I’d have went home but I was too drunk to drive. I told him I didn’t want to fuck him with the way he had acted.

The next morning he tried to fuck me again. No.

I left. Haven’t heard from him since. Not even an apology.

The rest of the week I was so sad about it. Told Rachel from work about the situation and she said that she had been in a controlling relationship, and that it was a good thing I had gotten out of it. I’m still so disappointed. I had really liked him.

It was a 2-day workweek because of Thanksgiving. Monday at work was amazing. We had a potluck and the entire part of that building smelled fucking amazing. Ate like a champ. Drowned my feelings in calories.

When the food was done, I went to see Daniel in his office. Went in there for a hug, cause Daniel hugs me when I ask. Sometimes I need a hug. This week I needed a lot. Stayed there for an hour while we talked about his love life and he told me thanks, that he isn’t often able to open up like that. Said we’d get together the next day for drinks. The next day he cancelled.

I went to dinner with Nara at Atlantic Station instead. We were supposed to ice skate, too, but turns out she’s a little bitch with the cold lol. So when I saw the look on her face I told her we could just eat instead.

This date was was different. She wasn’t nearly as flirty. When we left she didn’t kiss me goodbye. Just went to her car. Made me feel very sad, and confused.

The next day was Thanksgiving. FML. Drove 2 hours to Elberton. When I arrived I was chilling for a minute in the car to ready myself when I heard a SLAM into my passenger side door. It was my little brother, Deuce. He had decided to fucking body slam the side of my car. What a douche. Dad was standing on the other side of my car and of course said nothing to him.

Went inside, already in a bad mood. At lunch no one asked about anything but traffic; not how work is going, not who I’m dating, not about my trips. Just traffic. I feel like there is no point in me even coming. April and Dad didn’t even invite me to her mom’s for Thanksgiving this year. They went straight there after Mama J’s; they just didn’t invite me.

Deuce kept interrupting every.fucking.thing I said to order me outside to watch him on the bicycle. I kept telling him in a minute, wondering why the hell no one is chastising this damn child for interrupting an adult constantly. Certainly would’ve happened to me when I was little. At one point he followed me into the kitchen while I threw away trash, asking again and again for me to come outside. Frustrated, I told him in a minute. He then asked, repeatedly, “Nikki why are you angry? Why are you so angry?” Only because he heard it at home, I’m sure. At the table he says really loudly, with a big smile, “That’s my sister!” with a big smile at Dad when I tell him hello, yet when Dad isn’t around he yells at me to shut up. I can’t stand that damn kid. The little girl is cool though.

Outside before leaving we finally watched them on their damn bikes. When I wasn’t giving him enough attention he rammed his bike into me before saying “Oh sorry! I’m sorry” with a big smile on his face. He knew what the fuck he was doing. Can’t stand him. He’s a little shit with no manners who going to grow up to be a big shit with problems because he never learned that the attention doesn’t have to be on him 24/7. And when he’s older and not getting positive attention, he’s going to act out for negative attention instead. He needs a damn whooping.

So I stayed for about 90 minutes, then drove to Atlanta and straight to Claire’s for Irish Thanksgiving. Which was AMAZING. The spread was beautiful, the people were nice, the accents were adorable, and the food was fucking fantastic. I love Mama J, but damn she can’t cook. These people though had turkey, lamb lollipops, ham, green beans, just everything you can imagine, and it was all perfect. And booze. Lots of delicious booze. Best Thanksgiving I’ve ever been to. After everyone left, Claire and her husband Ronan played their favorite game with guests, where we each take turns playing a song on Youtube. Funny enough I was with an English girl and and Irish man and their favorite music is old country lol. Claire has a major soft spot for Dolly Parton, so I introduced her to the duet of her and Rod Stewart singing Baby It’s Cold Outside. She loved it. They said I was the best person they’d ever played that game with. I had the best time :) Such a good time, and so much alcohol, in fact, that I stayed the night in their guest bed. Woke up and they made me breakfast cause they’re adorable.

When I left I was supposed to meet Sam (an old co-worker) for brunch. Drove out to our meeting place and he cancelled on me, so I went and got Claire a thank-you gift instead; an essential oil diffuser and oils, because she’d said she wanted one.

Saturday I can’t remember what I did.

Sunday I had another date with Brian, a lawyer I met on Bumble. He’s okay. Not fantastic, but okay. Has a cute dog. Had a decent date, not sure he’s for forever though. But I enjoy his company. We went to dinner at Anitco’s, split a bottle of wine, went ice skating at SunTrust Park, and then grabbed a beer there after. When I broke out into hives from ice skating, he ran to his car to get me some Claritin :)

Monday I met a guy named JP at Second Self Brewery for their comedy show. Holy shit was that a bad date. It was small, like twenty people in the venue, five of which were performing, and most of them talked on stage about how awkward they felt. JP came in late. When I asked him what kind of beer he liked, I told him that I had a flight if he wanted suggestions. He said “Oh okay so we’re going to share yours?” “No,” I explained. “This is MY flight. These are mine.” He laughed but I was serious. I went to sit and he got his beer. (The flight was only mini-pours.) During a few of the (obviously nervous and bombing) comedians’ sets, he said “Whomp whomp.” It was low, and under his breath, but there were only a couple dozen people there. I was mortified. Halfway through he offered me his marijuana pen. I said I smoke but didn’t want to right beside everyone. He kept pushing it. I said no. He kept pushing it. I ignored him.

After, we sat on the couch to talk a bit. I still wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. But he was a dumbass. He kept throwing names of cities in foreign countries around but had no idea what he was talking about. I’m sure he’s dated stupid girls who find mentions of foreign places attractive, but I actually know my shit. He told me that the best surfing was in Tamarindo in south Costa Rica. I countered that Tamarindo is actually in Northwest Costa Rica; was he talking about somewhere else? He said he’d gone to the best surfing locations in Europe. I asked if he’s been to Basque country in France. He said oh you mean in South of France? No, I said, it was in West France. Oh, you mean by the Mediterranean? No, west France touches the Atlantic Ocean. Long story short, he’d never heard of it, which is insane considering it’s some of the best surfing in all of Europe.

The real kicker was when he asked where I lived. I told him an approximate location because I’m not telling a guy I just met from online these three things: Where I live, where I work, or my last name. I have to trust them a bit more first before they get that info.

He continued to pester me for the exact neighborhood I lived in. I told him that I was becoming agitated at the fact that he couldn’t take no for an answer, and that I didn’t think it was going to work out. He left, I finished my beer, never spoke to him again. Good riddance.

On the way home I called Zeek, my Tuesday date, and we talked. Had the best conversation. Laughed constantly. He thought I was magical when I told him he was playing video games, because I heard the click of the controller in the background and recognized it.

Tuesday I had a date with Zeek (real name Zlatan, nickname is Zeek) at 3 Sheets. It was my suggestion, but turns out he used to DJ there often and knew everyone working there. They seem to like him, which is always a good sign :) Some ups and downs in the date. Mostly up. One down. We were talking about something… Crazy girls, maybe? And how all people live up to their names. And he said that, “all crazy girls are named like Nikki. Or Carol.” Record scratch. Those are my names. I keep a fake smile while thinking about the fact that he told me he got his job in cybersecurity from hacking people. That he hacked into this ex-girlfriend’s shit to find out she was actually a Playmate. I’m freaking out a bit at this point, and he can tell. He tells me that my name showed up when I called, which doesn’t make sense because when anyone calls ME it just shows up as a random number. He then said he had found me on Facebook with my name. Now I’m really sketched out because I know it is set to where strangers can’t look me up. And he can tell this is going south, quick. But I changed the conversation, we talked more; he seemed like a cool guy, we’d had a good conversation the night before, and I was enjoying our night together. We had five drinks each, for goodness sake. At the end of the night we made out for forty minutes outside the door like a couple of teenagers. His lips are soft and sweet and I loved kissing him.

Wednesday I started the evening with an Escape the Room game with a friend from high school, his girlfriend, and her friends from work. We made it out just in time ;)

After that I went to see Zlatan. Loved seeing him. I told him I was hungry so he ordered me pizza and remembered my favorite toppings. Also remembered that I loved cookies and jellybeans and had those waiting on me, too. We watched Pan’s Labyrinth, which was INSANE because that was the EXACT movie I was going to recommend. Watched it. Ate. He made me a drink and got me a tray to set it on. Cuddled. Movie was good. Cuddles were good. His place is amazing, a three story townhouse, and his furniture is bitchin. No red flags, in other words. He has three cars (really nice cars) and they are his hobby, which is good to see that he actually has a life and things he enjoys outside of work. We had sex that night and it was goooood. Just as rough as I like it, and good dirty talk. When we finished we did it again. He then turned on his fan to sleep which I LOOOOVED. That is my thing.

I woke up around 2 am though and I was alone. So I walked through the house, naked, looking for him. He came out of the spare bedroom when he heard me. Said I was taking over the bed and he wasn’t used to sleeping with someone because it had been five months since he had sex. I told him I was worried and missed him. He pulled the covers over me, but went back into the spare room. The next morning he came in to wake me up for work, and I pulled him into bed to cuddle but he wanted to fuck again so that’s what we did. Then I got ready. And he walked me to the door. And I left.

It’s a shame he wants kids. I really like him.

Thursday night I went to the Laughing Skull Lounge in the Vortex with Zach from work. It was a little awkward, but fun. We ran into a guy who used to work at Jacob’s Ladder, who’d had a huge crush on me. Obviously the guy saw me, and not Zach, cause I got a text from him saying “Are you here alone?” Night ended without incident. I think I talked too much at the bar, but it’s all good :)

Friday I made my way to Greenville to go to a sorority Christmas party. They’ve invited me for five years; I felt it was time that I finally went. Realized how much I’ve grown since college, because all of them have stayed the same. Kristen, the hostess, was one of the only ones I wanted to see. She stays at home, because her husband has a cushy job with his Dad’s company. He drives a new Mercedes, she a new Escalade. They have a six bedroom, three story house. And she tells me that she feels empty inside, she has no friends, she’s never happy. Shocking, since she even said in college she was dating him for his money. She wouldn’t even go out with him until she Google Earthed his home and saw that his family has two tennis courts on their property, among other amenities of course.

Moments of Southern… narrow-mindness, we’ll say, from the night includes;

Carly makes homemade necklaces now and was bragging about how she sources the silk material. She said, “I get it sent from India. The women who make the Sahara dresses there pick up the silk scraps from the floor and send them to me, so that they use every piece of the Sahara dresses.” Everyone oohed and ahhed, and I said, “Um you mean saree dresses? Because Sahara is a desert.” and she looked at me but pretended not to hear what I said. Way to brag about something that you don’t know shit about.

Later on she mentioned that she had watched a video in her class (she’s a teacher) on the Day of the Dead and was saying, “You know what’s weird though, is that when you learn about it it’s not much different than our holidays.” Like no shit Sherlock, you’re thirty something and just realizing that? We’re here celebrating a fat man in a red suit that climbs down chimneys to leave gifts, and you’re acting like people who are remembering their passed loved ones are the crazy ones?? How has it taken you so long to realize this?

Abby, seeming to need to one-up my short recap of my month of France, talked about her trip to Epcot Center and how she had tasted food from all over the world and omg it was so great. Like first off Abby if you’ve ever been out of the country you would realize that at Epcot you are eating the American version of foreign food. In France they don’t have to pasteurize cheese, which makes it taste completely different than the cheeses we’re allowed to get in America. I’m sure there are things like that for all countries, but France is the one I’m most familiar with. Whatever. My life isn’t so lame that I need to one-up people. I let her have her moment of bliss.

I walk into the living room and hear Chelsea saying that she can’t believe all of these women are coming up with sexual allegations that are 15-20 years old. That Matt Lauer is like her best friend and that if it was such a big deal those women should have spoken up earlier. Just…. are you fucking kidding me? Do I even need to state that these women were probably under the umbrella of his authority 15-20 years ago, that they would have lost their lifelong careers at the time, that multiple accusations means he likely could even be doing it today? I didn’t, but I sure as hell needed to cause those girls are stupid.

Then everyone left and Chelsea and I stayed overnight at Kristen’s. They went on to talk about how annoying all of the other girls were and how ugly their babies are. Then on Facebook everyone posts about how much they love everyone. Once a year is plenty for all of that.

Saturday I had bottomless mimosas with Brittany and told her way too much about my life. Then I went shopping alone for my NYC trip and didn’t find shit. Drove back home. Sunday I had a cold and I’ve been in bed all day. Ordered pizza. That was the highlight.

I haven’t mentioned my NYC trip, have I? Started talking to David, a Parisian who lives in Ile de France. We hit it off SO WELL. He is kind and sexy and sweet and funny and… everything I could want. We hit it off so well that he booked me a trip to NYC to meet him. He’s flying all the way over, just for me. I feel so damn special. We’re staying at Indigo LES for the weekend and he already has breakfast, dinner, and a trip to MOMA planned :) I just have to find a gift for him now. So far I have a pair of Happy Socks, a wine stopper made of a gold “D,” and two white espresso cups that I’m going to decorate for him at Megan’s tomorrow. One I want to draw the US and France on them, with a heart on Atlanta and Paris and a dotted line connected the two. The other I want to say, “Good Morning Babe” because he likes when I call him babe :) I’ll update you on how they go. I need to get to bed now. Good night :)