#and i don't think memoir or cael's story really expands upon it?? i guess mc was busy grieving

[romance-rambles]

i've been awake on and off since 3am but—

here me out: cael + a "superman kiss," aka kissing someone as he's erasing their memories. where someone is likely mc [some kind of au?] or an oc i've been begrudgingly working on.

just—the anguish of living with that knowledge, willingly sacrificing yourself so she does not have to suffer? this silent understanding that he is A Bad Idea because whatever knowledge he was trying to erase is directly tied to him. i'm not entirely coherent rn but cael does has this underlying selflessness as it pertains to mc so—

obviously this would be like, godheim-era cael. but for some reason, there's a confession—there's something going on and they've both been avoiding it?? and cael dismisses it because. it's not what seems to align with her mother's wishes??

hell, i'm thinking of it now and it could even be some kind of scenario where he (somehow) takes a lover while in godheim. doesn't have to love her—he just needs her because of her connections and is it really any different from what's going on with mc?

then she finds out about what he's really doing so he wipes all her memories of him but every reset is usually after he's committed himself to the act. so he's suffering because she'll always find out but he doesn't know why that makes him upset. oh, i wonder.