#and i don't understand all that because my highschool teacher didn't care enough to teach us stuff

[rareslikespastelpink]

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Honestly I don't understand why when a family member dies these niggas try to hit me up. Like bitch, if my silence isn't an answer enough that I want to be left alone I don't know what is.

I was treated like I wasn't shit, like I wasn't going to amount to anything. Treated like shit for being female and the first born daughter. No one tried to help me when I graduated highschool, no support either.

My older brother use to call me a stupid slut, my younger brother use to shit on me for being in special education and my younger sister was such a bitch to me. Granted that now she is the only one who actually acknowledged the abuse and apologized. I just haven't let her in because I still hold resentment at the fact that she got two loving parents and a better life than me.

She was born when I was like 10 or 11 years old. My mom still had a chance to give me a good life as well. No excuses.

They just think when a family member passes away it means I'm suppose to join them and we'll be one big happy family. Like they want to get in touch with me because oh I gotta see her in case she dies and we never get to talk to her ever again.

Fuck off with that shit. When I was living you treated me like shit, so it means nothing to me. I'm that kind of person when you fuck me over so many times I simply stop caring. Honestly I only loved them out of obligation I realized I never really did.

I'd get chastised for treating friends better than them. They'd say shit like: "Not every person that smiles in your face is your friend."

But here's the thing, my friends respected me and were nice to me. Even the teachers treated me better and respected me. Shit momster got SSI money for me and just spent it on herself.

And then those 3 times in highschool I was left after school til 8pm because running errands was more important than getting me from school. Yet this bitch wouldn't let me go outside because essentially she thought I was too stupid.

All the times I had to stay after school til 6pm, hungry as shit because she was too strung out on her damn pills to come get me from school. I had to wait til her husband got off work to get me.

It got so bad I stole all of her silver dollars so I could get food from 7-eleven. I was always short, but the dudes at the cash register were nice and covered what I couldn't afford.

Also Grandmonster complained about gas money to me everytime I needed a ride to school. Like bitch I'm a kid, I'm sorry I need help. It wasn't my fault.

Then all the times momster and her husband would go out to eat and bring us nothing back. Everything would need to be cooked and she wouldn't teach us how to cook.

Essentially big fuck you to them. I finally feel comfortable and confident in myself. Sure I still struggle with somethings, but I'm working on it.

Sure I'm a decent person I wouldn't say I'm a good person. But I try my best to be one. I don't want to be a good person to go to heaven, I want to be a good person because it's the right thing to do.

So many people have helped me along the way especially when I was at my worst and I want to do the same in anyway that I can. Any help I can get in life will always be appreciated.

So fuck them and fuck them for not respecting my boundary of no contact. I want to punch momsters husband in the face for giving these niggas' my number. I didn't say his bitch ass could do that. They should have deleted my number the day I cut contact.

Before this momster kept texting me and leaving me voicemails. I actually was going to see her before she passed and it was just so she would leave me alone. I really do just want them to understand that it is my decision to be estranged. Nothing more.

Ugh then my roommate gon knock on my door and ask if we have a problem because I stopped responding to her texts. Yeah because I'm fed up with her nasty ass. We do have a problem, but I don't have the energy to fight this battle.

She's been told atleast 5 times and I don't want to say anything because at that point you're talking to a wall. So yeah.

But honestly I'm not angry at them. I feel so good rightnow that I don't have the energy to be angry anymore. I plan to go to California but I'll be going with two very good friends, so I won't be by myself. I'll be telling them to their face to leave me alone and in a public place so they can't act all crazy.

Ugh so long, but yeah. I very much appreciate all the people I've met in my life. Even the ones I don't talk to anymore, I sincerely hope life is treating them great.

Anyways off to bed, I'm tired.

[adore-gregor]

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[daphnedauphinoise]

Favorite resources to stay up to date and learn new things? :)

There is no bigger hobby that I enjoy as I do learning about things. I don't think there is any necessity for me to talk about the importance of education but if you didn't know, staying educated therefore cultured is vital in any level up and hypergamy journey and for yourself. You know those people who you meet and their eyes light up

Some topics that interest me that may interest you:

History of Fashion, Fashion Politics and Fashion Desgin 

British History 

Religions

Wars and Heros

 Documentaries

The D in Daphne is stands for Documentaries. Pretty much everything I know comes from documentaries. Documentaries are tricky because a lot of them can be extremely biased and just bad in general. You can get them on Netflix or on Youtube 

Wikipedia

I know the general advice is to stay away from wikipedia but I don’t think that advice stands anymore seeing how far the site has come since it’s early days. I go to wikipedia for pretty much everything and I don’t think I will ever quit. Wikipedia is just an online ecylopedia, it is acessible to everyone with an internet connection. Free education/ more accesible education is one my biggest passions and it is something I 100% stand with and I cannot thank the creators of the site enough for their services. You can literally learn anything and everything on here and you get very detailed, referenced information for comepletly free. Like I said, wikipedia is a great starting point whenever you are learning about something new and sometimes the content can be hard to digest but that just means that is thorough.

Youtube

God bless the internet man. For all of it’s pitfalls, it has made education extremely acessible to the masses. Youtube is a gold mine for visual leaners and I find that information is more digestable when someone else is telling you it. My personal heros are Indian teachers and professers on the sit who are just magic at what they do and everything they teach gets stuck in my head far quicker.

Khan Academy: Great for highschool to early years on university, various topics, espcicially good for maths and science 

Crash Course: Literally every topic ever, videos are usually ten minutes, very visual with fun animation.

C.G.P. Grey: Focus on philosophy, politics and history. 

New Economic Thinking : Experts discuss current economic happenings.

The Pursuit of Wonder: Philosophy and Litertaure.

Broey Deschanel and Lessons from screen play : Film and Film Analysis 

Classics Explained: Classical music explained. 

Podcasts 

I have recently been getting into podcasts and they are a very good way of getting information in and learning something new.  You can find a podcast on pretty much everything . Here are a few I reccomend:

BBC Earth 

Ologies

Let’s Talk about Myths 

The Business of Fashion

The Partially Examined Life 

The Dropout 

Magazines and Journals

Finance & Current Events 

The New York Times

The Wall Street Journal 

Financial Times

The Economist 

Bloomberg

MIT Review

New Scientist 

Society 

Tatler 

Tatler Asia 

Vogue 

Town and Country 

Haper’s Bazzar 

I read others but this is already too long. Honestly the best way to learn is to just search. It really is easy. If you don't understand something, what I like to do is serach whatever the topic is but for dummies or add for kids at the end.

This next bit is for the anons who I know will come and ask me what to learn, I think that there is this obstentanious need to good at everything and learn about everything ever but that is not true. You are fully allowed to be beginner in a subject, you are allowed to only care about certain topics and you are allowed to drop what you are learning if you have had enough. There is no right and wrong and other people’s ditaction on what you should learn is not worthing listening to. There is no need to be a fully fledged Scholar on any subject matter. I think there is this push to learn about certain things because ‘they are better’ which in turn supposedly makes you better than everyone else. Bullshit and classist. Whilst they are good subjects to learn in their own manner-  learn about whatever niche thing you want to learn about. It is more refreshing  to listen to someone talking passionately about different types of Amphibians or wallpaper then it is to listen to the same route learnt rejuertated Art History blabber. Any knowledge is good knowledge and education is the one thing that will never fail you.

Stay educated,

Daphne xoxx