#and i'd really love if i could start deleting sideblogs without risking deleting my entire account to be honest

[elytrafemme]

hi friends :]

still staying offline a little longer. i'm at a crossroads where i'm wondering whether i like being perceived online at all. i don't know if i love the experience of all this, but i love all the people here and that's kind of the point, isn't it? maybe i need a fresh start. after cough syrup maybe i start reconsidering. who knows.

but i wanted to say that i love you guys! and was just sitting here, earlier, and missing you all. i know that my VERY frequent absences (anyone who has ever dmed me is aware of this) is really annoying, and maybe a dealbreaker, and that's really understandable. but i want you all to know i think about my friends here, the little guys in my computer, like All The Time hehe. like!!! i've mentioned you all to the people i meet here in conversations, sometimes; i miss you.

but i don't know. online stuff has always been really hard for my brain. something about reconciling with my identity, my presence, freaks me out. but i'm carrying you all with me, taking you in my palms and bringing you to the warmth. in a few languages, that's love.

protect your peace, break your silence, and stay strong. it's scary out there. but you're brave than the worst of it.