#and i'm moving in 10 days which is like. insane considering i haven't even started thinking about it

[yohankang]

missing you guys </3

[fantasticcloudcreation]

September 16

111.3 - I guess we're getting there, it's just going so slow...

Still trying to get my shit together, organizing the stuff I'm keeping in storage vs donating, I feel like I do this at least once a year and somehow it never seems to get better. I'm a collector and I get attached to things... Dreaming of having my own house one day with an art studio and a library and a thousand shelves for all my knick knacks. One step at a time, the step right now is just getting the stuff sorted out and at least marginally better than when I started; so far I've got 3 bags of donations, 1 bag of trash, many bins for storage... Haven't even started on the van yet but I guess that might have to wait until tomorrow.

Wanted to go to the dispensary today bc they have 20% off edibles but I'm just so mushy and brain dead from this organization process, the thought of driving down the street is just exhausting lol guess I'm paying full price for them tomorrow 🤡

Feeling very low energy. Didn't even feel excited about the number on the scale even though it's the lowest I've seen all year. Drinking tea right now trying to get some energy back up so I can finish this cursed task and move on...

Bigger picture : everything is working out. In a week I'll be halfway across the country starting work again; haven't done a full festival build like this since, April??? Yikes I'm gonna be so sore. But my body is gonna love the exercise, and with no one paying attention to what I'm eating I'm sure I'll lose a lot more over the next couple months. This place always hits me with unnecessary stress and depression but as soon as I get back on the road everything will be fine. Relax and trust the process.

Good things : my XS hiking pants that have been in storage finally fit! Even if this organization process feels like Sisyphus and his giant rock, it's still like 1/3 improvement over how it started, next time will be easier. I have a whole collection of cool items and useful art supplies and I'm finding all these great things I forgot I had, I feel like I'm going shopping without spending any money, one day I'll get to have them all in my house and for now, it's fine! I'm almost done, one more day, then I'm headed to Texas where I get to work with all my friends/hang out at the hotel/see cool bands (and I'm not at LL which I'm very grateful for...) and I'm gonna make money and learn new things and challenge my body and create stronger friendships with coworkers. Even if I don't leave til Wednesday I'll still have 6 days to drive there which will be fun and relaxing and not a crazy mad dash across the country like I usually do. Even if I don't buy edibles on the discount day I still get to buy them from a reputable source and I won't have to be paranoid about bud in TX.

Did I mention that my XS hiking pants actually fit?? I don't think they fit even when I got them, they still had the tags on them and one pair is still in the packaging. It feels nice to actually be getting skinny again; thinking about how big I felt leaving TX in May, 4 months later I'm heading back to TX, 10 pounds down and it feels like I'm on a roll with it. Not as much as I wanted considering it's been 4 months but at least it's been consistent and I haven't really been trying that hard, intermittent dieting vs enjoying my life with food and alcohol, it's felt like a good balance and it's nice to see I can still make progress without being insane about it. Feels more sustainable this time too. I'll probably be under 110 by the time I get to TX bc I'm lazy about food while road tripping lol. Unfortunately I just checked the weather and it's gonna be in the 90s, oof, glad I got a lil taste of fall before I head over there but yikes it's gonna be hard to readjust to the heat...

I'm so sleepy bc I accidentally stayed up til 3am knitting a hat lmfao, had a moderately productive morning and now I'm dilly dallying so hard but I'm almost done, will be done by tonight... Ultimately I just need to relax because everything is fine and I'm blessed in so many ways and I'm grateful for this weird silly journey that I'm on, life is weird and fun and full of ups and downs, I'm about to travel through a portal and end up in a new environment and a new phase of life! Grateful to spend so much time with my family this summer, grateful for all the opportunities popping up in my life. Surrendering and relaxing and getting through the sticky parts one step at a time.